Giuly88 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 I don’t know why but cold temperature makes my muscles contract and shake. This can go on for the entire day. So debilitating. Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 Hi @LotusRising and @Believer Hope you are both well. I have a question. You know the muscle tightness I experience on my torso/abdomen. My muscles are always hypertonic, bloated, seized up, they never let up, how can it be possible that they will relax at one point? Were yours also tense, contracted, hypertonic? Has this got to do with the brain signal, nerves firing up, neuropathy or dyskinesia? I hope this is recoverable, losing hope 😞. Apologies for going on about the same symptoms over and over again 😧🫢 I do yoga, stretching and strengthening exercises. I do have breaks and windows from this symptoms when I lay down or walk arpund, however when I sit up still the torso seizes up. Why I don’t know, why does my abdomen expands/spasms/bloats when I sit up 🤷♀️ no idea. Why do muscles take so long to heal as opposed to other symptoms? 🤦🏽♀️ Love to you both ❤️❤️ Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 15 Moderator Share Posted January 15 4 hours ago, Giuly88 said: I don’t know why but cold temperature makes my muscles contract and shake. This happens to me to. This winter has just gotten incredibly cold and I find my temperature regulation is off, so when I get hold, everything seizes quite a bit. I just do my best to make sure I'm always dressed warmly and the have a bath every night with epsom salts to hopefully keep things relaxed. 13 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: My muscles are always hypertonic, bloated, seized up, they never let up, how can it be possible that they will relax at one point? No need to apologize for symptom talk. Does this only happen when you're sitting up or standing? Or does it happen other times as well? 16 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: I hope this is recoverable, losing hope I really do think this is recoverable. I've seen a lot of improvement myself, but my nerves still seem to get irritated at times For example, right now the nerves in my abdominal area seem to be affected the most, so when I eat, it's like they get irritated from the pressure or something, and then they contact. They settle out, but it takes times. Similarly, I've just started adding in light abdominal exercises, but when I do them, the muscles will stay contracted for a bit afterward. But this can happen to the nerves in other areas of my body too. I have a jaw muscle that tightens up for no reason at all, but will also worsen when I'm cold. Does any of this sound similar to what happens to you? I wonder if when you sit up or stand, it's recruiting the use of those muscles, causing them to get irritated? I think it's not the muscles themselves that take long to heal, it's the nerves that supply the muscles and are healing as the CNS returns to stability. I think you're doing all the right things, so I would definitely keep at it. It's frustrating I know, I can totally relate 💖 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 19 minutes ago, LotusRising said: This happens to me to. This winter has just gotten incredibly cold and I find my temperature regulation is off, so when I get hold, everything seizes quite a bit. I just do my best to make sure I'm always dressed warmly and the have a bath every night with epsom salts to hopefully keep things relaxed. No need to apologize for symptom talk. Does this only happen when you're sitting up or standing? Or does it happen other times as well? I really do think this is recoverable. I've seen a lot of improvement myself, but my nerves still seem to get irritated at times For example, right now the nerves in my abdominal area seem to be affected the most, so when I eat, it's like they get irritated from the pressure or something, and then they contact. They settle out, but it takes times. Similarly, I've just started adding in light abdominal exercises, but when I do them, the muscles will stay contracted for a bit afterward. But this can happen to the nerves in other areas of my body too. I have a jaw muscle that tightens up for no reason at all, but will also worsen when I'm cold. Does any of this sound similar to what happens to you? I wonder if when you sit up or stand, it's recruiting the use of those muscles, causing them to get irritated? I think it's not the muscles themselves that take long to heal, it's the nerves that supply the muscles and are healing as the CNS returns to stability. I think you're doing all the right things, so I would definitely keep at it. It's frustrating I know, I can totally relate 💖 Hi LotusRising, bless you ❤️. thank you for replying so soon to me. I really appreciate your support. Yes all that you said is also happening to me including jaw tightness on and off. My torso tightens and jerks mainly when I sit up still, it seems as if I can’t entirely sit completely still, one or two muscles have to move in some ways, very weird. It makes me think that withdrawal has caused an hyperexcitability of the area of the brain that controls muscles contraction and relaxation whereby signals are just sent erratically. I hope this neuromuscular function will settle soon. My jaw and tongue too get tight from time to time on and off. I usually have a shower but not a bath too lazy to fill it up 🤦🏽♀️ 🫢. 💕💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 @LotusRising Ah one more thing: yes my muscles tighten even more when I exercise them which is quite discouraging however I heard that by strengthening them we prevent those muscles from weakening and weakening is a cause of tightening. Unbelievable also what the cold temperature does. I am absolutely unable to contro my temperature. Do your muscles on your abdomen squeeze/clench? ❤️ Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 15 Moderator Share Posted January 15 1 hour ago, Giuly88 said: Do your muscles on your abdomen squeeze/clench? They sure do. I find it moves around to different areas in there. Affects my digestion sometimes too. It's quite frustrating because I will be totally fine and then all of a sudden, I can feel the area start to squeeze, sometimes unrelated to anything. I'm just doing my best to carry on, but I'm ready for it to stop. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 53 minutes ago, LotusRising said: They sure do. I find it moves around to different areas in there. Affects my digestion sometimes too. It's quite frustrating because I will be totally fine and then all of a sudden, I can feel the area start to squeeze, sometimes unrelated to anything. I'm just doing my best to carry on, but I'm ready for it to stop. What have they done to us. We will heal from this and we both have already seen lots of improvements in frequency and intensity. I struggle to come terms with the fact that time is the only healer, that I don’t know how long it is going to take, when the next waves will hit. This total absence of control, the uncharted nature of this inhumane and gruelling process, the unpredictability of this whole thing. The fact that no one in the medical/pharmaceutical establishment is being held accountable for this. The regrets of having walked into the doctor’s practice one fatal day in 2016 and been prescribed a tablet that I never needed in the first place only because I was going through an overwhelming moment of my life with my two then very young children having to work and do school runs. A tablet taken ‘to cope with a busy life’, a tablet whose effects and consequences were obscure, un-revealed to me. The word ‘withdrawal’ having never been mentioned to me. My eyes are filled with tears but I have to carry on for my two children. All of this feels so surreal. I’m going to make you laugh now: I would rather have two more natural birth deliveries than going through this horrendous lonely journey 😂🤦🏽♀️. We will definitely heal and thank you LotusRising for reading this ❤️❤️. 1 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Mentor littlebird Posted January 15 Mentor Share Posted January 15 1 hour ago, Giuly88 said: I struggle to come terms with the fact that time is the only healer, that I don’t know how long it is going to take, when the next waves will hit. This total absence of control, the uncharted nature of this inhumane and gruelling process, the unpredictability of this whole thing. The fact that no one in the medical/pharmaceutical establishment is being held accountable for this. It's incredibly hard to stomach it, and to accept the unknown and the periods of doing nothing while waiting on healing. I've had to lean hard on coping skills at times to get through the day at times! It does get better, and healing is happening, it just doesn't always feel that way. 9 hours ago, Giuly88 said: I don’t know why but cold temperature makes my muscles contract and shake. This can go on for the entire day. This has been a big one for me too. Feels like it's hard to regulate my temperature, and also if I get too cold then I find myself tense to the point of being in pain. Makes me wish for warm weather! Winter is tough for a lot of reasons, when it's overcast I get the blues too. 1 hour ago, Giuly88 said: My eyes are filled with tears but I have to carry on for my two children. Can't imagine tapering w/ children! I bet you're doing a lot better than it feels on the tough days, and they're lucky to have you. 1 hour ago, Giuly88 said: All of this feels so surreal. I’m going to make you laugh now: I would rather have two more natural birth deliveries than going through this horrendous lonely journey 😂🤦🏽♀️. I've heard enough natural birth horror stories to really take this in! Yeah, there's nothing like withdrawal. It does get better, and the body does acclimate. Hope you're going easy on yourself! 2 hours ago, Giuly88 said: What have they done to us. For real! Had no idea when I agreed to pills what I was getting into. I even had prescribers tell me not to read the side effects in case it brought about a placebo effect. Ah well, we were just being trusting patients! 2 hours ago, Giuly88 said: We will heal from this and we both have already seen lots of improvements in frequency and intensity. One thing about these bodies, they're always doing their best to heal. So glad to hear you're feeling improvement. Hope you're able to find small moments of peace throughout the day to soothe your nervous system. Sometimes it's just the time it takes me to make a tea, and I can't imagine finding time with kiddos in the mix, but hopefully life serves up sweet moments! 1 Pronouns: they/them/theirs Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since. 2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0 2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg -> April 2024: 40.5mg 2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 2018-present: 25mg Pristiq 2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg, still too high, 34mg -> March 2024: 31mg, STILL too high, 30mg Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 16 Moderator Share Posted January 16 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: What have they done to us. We will heal from this and we both have already seen lots of improvements in frequency and intensity. For sure we will! I used to doubt that I would ever get better, but the healing is happening! 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: I struggle to come terms with the fact that time is the only healer, that I don’t know how long it is going to take, when the next waves will hit. This total absence of control, the uncharted nature of this inhumane and gruelling process, the unpredictability of this whole thing. The fact that no one in the medical/pharmaceutical establishment is being held accountable for this. I hear you. I don't know that I'll ever accept this. It's hard to accept that we can be debilitated and so lonely throughout all of this and never have our feelings or symptoms validated from the very people who contributed to the mess we're in. Indeed, I never knew either of withdrawal syndrome, or the horrors that people endure. I'm sad that my kids had to see me go through all of this, but now that I'm speaking up about what happened, I think they're seeing my resilience and strength, so it's not all for nothing. And on a positive note, I'm grateful more often for the little things 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: My eyes are filled with tears but I have to carry on for my two children Yes, mine were my biggest reason to keep pushing! 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: I’m going to make you laugh now: I would rather have two more natural birth deliveries than going through this horrendous lonely journey 😂🤦🏽♀️. Ditto! Natural childbirth is nothing compared to this lol 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 15 hours ago, LotusRising said: They sure do. I find it moves around to different areas in there. Affects my digestion sometimes too. It's quite frustrating because I will be totally fine and then all of a sudden, I can feel the area start to squeeze, sometimes unrelated to anything. I'm just doing my best to carry on, but I'm ready for it to stop. Hi LotusRising, Next year we will be both much much better if not sooner. I can see you came off clonazepam April last year so it is not even a year and as exclusive undisturbed healing really begins in the absence of the medication, you have already seen so much healing taking place and so I’m confident you may well be a success story next year. I came off February last year however at the end of June I took 2.5mg escitalopram to see how I would react but I then changed my mind so I don’t know whether that rescue dose slowed down my healing or not. I have not touched anything since now then. Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 On 1/10/2024 at 12:05 AM, Believer said: Hi I often told my husband I should at least get six packs abs for all the abdominal jerking I’ve had, no such luck. 🤣 Thank you for the well wishes, thankfully I have not had a heart attack, just a bad ADR to the Covid shot during the middle of my taper. You take care too. You’ll get to the other side. Hahaha 😊. Yes I should too actually no luck for me either 🤦🏽♀️ Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 13 hours ago, LotusRising said: For sure we will! I used to doubt that I would ever get better, but the healing is happening! I hear you. I don't know that I'll ever accept this. It's hard to accept that we can be debilitated and so lonely throughout all of this and never have our feelings or symptoms validated from the very people who contributed to the mess we're in. Indeed, I never knew either of withdrawal syndrome, or the horrors that people endure. I'm sad that my kids had to see me go through all of this, but now that I'm speaking up about what happened, I think they're seeing my resilience and strength, so it's not all for nothing. And on a positive note, I'm grateful more often for the little things Yes, mine were my biggest reason to keep pushing! Ditto! Natural childbirth is nothing compared to this lol Yes it is so cruel. You know even the idea of not trusting the doctor, before all of this happened, never crossed my mind. Now I don’t feel safe anymore in their hands. How sad this is. Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 15 hours ago, littlebird said: It's incredibly hard to stomach it, and to accept the unknown and the periods of doing nothing while waiting on healing. I've had to lean hard on coping skills at times to get through the day at times! It does get better, and healing is happening, it just doesn't always feel that way. This has been a big one for me too. Feels like it's hard to regulate my temperature, and also if I get too cold then I find myself tense to the point of being in pain. Makes me wish for warm weather! Winter is tough for a lot of reasons, when it's overcast I get the blues too. Can't imagine tapering w/ children! I bet you're doing a lot better than it feels on the tough days, and they're lucky to have you. I've heard enough natural birth horror stories to really take this in! Yeah, there's nothing like withdrawal. It does get better, and the body does acclimate. Hope you're going easy on yourself! For real! Had no idea when I agreed to pills what I was getting into. I even had prescribers tell me not to read the side effects in case it brought about a placebo effect. Ah well, we were just being trusting patients! One thing about these bodies, they're always doing their best to heal. So glad to hear you're feeling improvement. Hope you're able to find small moments of peace throughout the day to soothe your nervous system. Sometimes it's just the time it takes me to make a tea, and I can't imagine finding time with kiddos in the mix, but hopefully life serves up sweet moments! Thank you littlebird. Yes it is so hard with the kids and family and having to go through this. ❤️ Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 @LotusRising I have vibrations in my head, fingers and body. I can see with the tip of my eyes that my nose vibrates and feel my head tremors and vibrates. Did you experience any of these symptoms at all? Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: Hi LotusRising, Next year we will be both much much better if not sooner. I can see you came off clonazepam April last year so it is not even a year and as exclusive undisturbed healing really begins in the absence of the medication, you have already seen so much healing taking place and so I’m confident you may well be a success story next year. I came off February last year however at the end of June I took 2.5mg escitalopram to see how I would react but I then changed my mind so I don’t know whether that rescue dose slowed down my healing or not. I have not touched anything since now then. Took the 2.5mg for 1 day only back in June 2023 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 16 Moderator Share Posted January 16 11 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: I have vibrations in my head, fingers and body. I can see with the tip of my eyes that my nose vibrates and feel my head tremors and vibrates. I get two different sensations. One is like a tremor, rumbling sensation that goes through my chest. The other is more of an electrical current (not painful, just uncomfortable), or buzzing sensation that I've felt most places, but mostly down arms and legs. I have not been able to see anything on the outside of my body, but I have heard that others can see/feel this externally. 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: Next year we will be both much much better if not sooner. Yes, I absolutely agree!! 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 16 hours ago, littlebird said: It's incredibly hard to stomach it, and to accept the unknown and the periods of doing nothing while waiting on healing. I've had to lean hard on coping skills at times to get through the day at times! It does get better, and healing is happening, it just doesn't always feel that way. This has been a big one for me too. Feels like it's hard to regulate my temperature, and also if I get too cold then I find myself tense to the point of being in pain. Makes me wish for warm weather! Winter is tough for a lot of reasons, when it's overcast I get the blues too. Can't imagine tapering w/ children! I bet you're doing a lot better than it feels on the tough days, and they're lucky to have you. I've heard enough natural birth horror stories to really take this in! Yeah, there's nothing like withdrawal. It does get better, and the body does acclimate. Hope you're going easy on yourself! For real! Had no idea when I agreed to pills what I was getting into. I even had prescribers tell me not to read the side effects in case it brought about a placebo effect. Ah well, we were just being trusting patients! One thing about these bodies, they're always doing their best to heal. So glad to hear you're feeling improvement. Hope you're able to find small moments of peace throughout the day to soothe your nervous system. Sometimes it's just the time it takes me to make a tea, and I can't imagine finding time with kiddos in the mix, but hopefully life serves up sweet moments! Thank you littlebird I really appreciate you chiming in to compare notes and give me hope and reassurance ❤️😊 1 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
modelarz71 Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 53 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: Dziękuję Littlebird. Naprawdę doceniam, że do mnie dzwonisz, żeby porównać notatki i dodać mi nadziei i otuchy ❤️ 😊 Hello, I am also in WD after escitaloplram I can believe that all these currents, tingling brain zaps abo muscle tremors pass at some point, I myself have had few of them so far. But how to believe that the stomach will start working well if it's the eighth month of problems, or this insomnia.... 2022 escitalopram from July 25 2.5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg August-December- 7.5 mg, 5 mg, (1 month) 2.5 mg - C/T WD 2023 Short reinstatement from WD date: escitalopram May 25-June 12 5 mg, 2.5 mg plus interrupted Reinstatement 24 07.23 0.5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0.22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0.28 Now 0.30 mg escitalopram Last year 6 months on escitalopram, I was very agitated, hypomaniacal and with little need for sleep. Since July 2023 reinstated and reduced from 0.50 mg to 0.30 mg Lexapro - difficulty sleeping and lack of sleep, eye pain and IBS. Anhedonia. November 2023 - 0mg Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 2 hours ago, modelarz71 said: Hello, I am also in WD after escitaloplram I can believe that all these currents, tingling brain zaps abo muscle tremors pass at some point, I myself have had few of them so far. But how to believe that the stomach will start working well if it's the eighth month of problems, or this insomnia.... Hi Modelarz71, Yes I have all of these symptoms. Sorry to hear you are also going through this terrifying process. We will get there. With me at the moment it is only the muscles and vibrations that are bothering me although it is quite uncomfortable at times. Keep put one foot in front of the other. Eight months are not that long unfortunately. You will see so many improvements as you sail through this. ❤️ Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 16 Author Share Posted January 16 7 hours ago, LotusRising said: I get two different sensations. One is like a tremor, rumbling sensation that goes through my chest. The other is more of an electrical current (not painful, just uncomfortable), or buzzing sensation that I've felt most places, but mostly down arms and legs. I have not been able to see anything on the outside of my body, but I have heard that others can see/feel this externally. Yes, I absolutely agree!! Ah yes I get what you are describing LotusRising. When I sit down if I bend my head forward with my hair hanging down I can see my hair locks swaying, vibrating, buzzing and I also feel my head that can’t stay completely still. Is it the vagus nerve, dopamine receptors down regulated I don’t know 🤷♀️. Honestly I have already lived pretty much half of my life being 47 year old and I have never experienced such odd symptoms before now. At one point I even thought I had Parkinson however the MRI came out negative. We just have to put trust in our body’s ability to reach homeostasis and heal which will happen. 💕💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 17 Moderator Share Posted January 17 18 hours ago, Giuly88 said: Honestly I have already lived pretty much half of my life being 47 year old and I have never experienced such odd symptoms before now. At one point I even thought I had Parkinson however the MRI came out negative. Ditto, at 46 over here! 18 hours ago, Giuly88 said: We just have to put trust in our body’s ability to reach homeostasis and heal which will happen. Yes, it absolutely will! 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 17 Author Share Posted January 17 11 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Ditto, at 46 over here! Yes, it absolutely will! Similar age. I know what you mean when you said about the challenges of withdrawl and having children. It was devastating in the early days of withdrawal at the onset of 2023 when I was so ill that I couldn’t even get up from a supine position. My poor husband had to juggle everything including school runs. Luckily he works from home. As I’m getting better I can help more although I’m not fit enough to go back to work because of my muscles. Because I work as a Teaching Assistant in a school and we have playground duties as you may know I don’t how I could cope with transitioning from a warm to a cold environment, back and forth and the stress of having to deal with children’s behaviours etc. Do you work? If only these awful jerks and tightness would go! I cancelled an EMG because I got into a panic when I read about how it is done with the electrodes and needles 🤦🏽♀️. I’m thinking of reinstating this test just to rule things out. 💕💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 17 Moderator Share Posted January 17 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: It was devastating in the early days of withdrawal at the onset of 2023 when I was so ill that I couldn’t even get up from a supine position Oh yes, I can absolutely relate to this! It was a terrifying time and I'm glad that part is over. I had such feelings of guilt, shame and hopelessness. Similar story over here, in that my husband works from home and was left to take care of all aspects of our life. It was a very difficult time. Yes, I was working when all of this happened, but my decline escalated very quickly and I had to leave my job. Of late, I've been working toward starting a new business, so things are looking very much up these days. 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: I’m thinking of reinstating this test just to rule things out. It might be worth it to put your mind at ease, but I understand the fear. I've had bizarre heart symptoms many times, but too fearful to get anything looked into. Every new symptom I get seems to fade with time, so thankfully, I've not had to do anything more than bloodwork. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 17 Author Share Posted January 17 1 hour ago, LotusRising said: Oh yes, I can absolutely relate to this! It was a terrifying time and I'm glad that part is over. I had such feelings of guilt, shame and hopelessness. Similar story over here, in that my husband works from home and was left to take care of all aspects of our life. It was a very difficult time. Yes, I was working when all of this happened, but my decline escalated very quickly and I had to leave my job. Of late, I've been working toward starting a new business, so things are looking very much up these days. It might be worth it to put your mind at ease, but I understand the fear. I've had bizarre heart symptoms many times, but too fearful to get anything looked into. Every new symptom I get seems to fade with time, so thankfully, I've not had to do anything more than bloodwork. Pleased that the heart thing subsided. I had my heart skipping a beat, palpitations, thumping and arrhythmia in early withdrawal and did 2 ECG, they all came out clear. These symptoms have now subsided. I myself stopped working in December 2022 when the withdrawal suddenly hit after an evening out with my daughter. Symptoms hit me so hard including insomnia and fatigue and couldn’t even stand up in the school hall 😧 and then a couple of month later the jerks and muscles symptoms followed. People at work don’t yet know the reasons behind my leave I just told them that I had issues with my thyroid which I do as I have hashimoto’s but no mention of withdrawal. It is heartbreaking because I really love my job and working with children. I’m very happy for you that you are undertaking a new professional project. This will help with added purpose and motivation which will in turn help with healing as well 🙂. 💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 20 Author Share Posted January 20 @ten0275@BrokenWings I was in another wave today with my torso squeezing and jerking, muscles in the back of my head contracting really badly. back ribs spasming, stinging and burning. Unbelievably painful. I’m also worried about the state of my muscles being constantly pulled. Will they not be damaged by withdrawal? I have a question as I’m hopeless and scared today. I know everybody is different but How long did the jerks last for you guys approximately? My abdominal muscles are always tight contracted how can this possibly resolve at one point? Will the muscles just relax? Thank you 🙏 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 20 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 20 @Giuly88, hello. I'm sorry you are experiencing muscle contractions and jerking. It does go away eventually. And just like any symptom you may experience, it's best not to think of any of them in terms of permanent, lasting damage - it's best that you try to endure them and get through them here and now. I had so many horrible mental and physical withdrawal symptoms, I was certain some permanent damage would result. Yet there is none. No PTSD, no muscle damage, no visual or auditory damage. What came with withdrawal's onset left when withdrawal was over. I know you know that timelines are going to be different for everyone. It will vary based on how you taper and how your windows and waves patterns progress, what drugs you were on - all of that. For me, the worst of the muscle contractions and jerking (and twitching) came in the first 3-6 months. It was fairly consistent. After that, it would come with the waves. And even when I was in windows more often than waves, I'd occasionally still have that symptom in moments of higher general life-stress. But at a certain point, it just stopped being an issue at all and I've not had that symptom for many, many years. Take comfort that the symptom is the result of your nervous system trying to balance itself. And stay rooted in the present in terms of trying to endure that discomfort when it happens. One day, it will seem odd to you that you ever experienced it at all. May your current wave move into a window very soon 🙏 Hang in there, Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted January 21 Author Share Posted January 21 23 hours ago, ten0275 said: @Giuly88, hello. I'm sorry you are experiencing muscle contractions and jerking. It does go away eventually. And just like any symptom you may experience, it's best not to think of any of them in terms of permanent, lasting damage - it's best that you try to endure them and get through them here and now. I had so many horrible mental and physical withdrawal symptoms, I was certain some permanent damage would result. Yet there is none. No PTSD, no muscle damage, no visual or auditory damage. What came with withdrawal's onset left when withdrawal was over. I know you know that timelines are going to be different for everyone. It will vary based on how you taper and how your windows and waves patterns progress, what drugs you were on - all of that. For me, the worst of the muscle contractions and jerking (and twitching) came in the first 3-6 months. It was fairly consistent. After that, it would come with the waves. And even when I was in windows more often than waves, I'd occasionally still have that symptom in moments of higher general life-stress. But at a certain point, it just stopped being an issue at all and I've not had that symptom for many, many years. Take comfort that the symptom is the result of your nervous system trying to balance itself. And stay rooted in the present in terms of trying to endure that discomfort when it happens. One day, it will seem odd to you that you ever experienced it at all. May your current wave move into a window very soon 🙏 Hang in there, Dave Thank you Dave ❤️ Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 6 Moderator Share Posted February 6 Hi @Giuly88, how are you doing? On 1/20/2024 at 3:39 PM, Giuly88 said: Will they not be damaged by withdrawal? I ended up with a partial frozen shoulder from the muscle contraction issues, so I would say if you start noticing any changes to your mobility, make sure you act on it. I started going to massage about 4 months ago because the constant contracting affected the fascia and muscle insertion points. It has done wonders for my mobility, which seems almost back to normal at this point. Are you currently active, or doing any kind of mobilitiy/stretching like yoga? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted February 6 Author Share Posted February 6 Hi @LotusRising Sorry to hear about your frozen shoulder but pleased you have taken the necessary steps and you are now almost back to normal 😊. I do do stretching and yoga on my bed and it does seem to help. I don’t know about you but my muscle soreness and tightness just feel so permanent. I don’t know anymore. I struggle everyday. There is always tightening and pain somewhere either on the torso sides. Upper back, lower back, upper abdomen, under armpit, ribs. It moves round. Yes I do have windows but then back again no ending. I’m honestly sick and tired of this. Yes stretching and yoga movements reset these tightness and pain however only momentarily and then pain and tightness start again with no real trusting, reliable respite. I’m so eager to reclaim my life but the pain is not letting me, it feels like an inescapable prison, daily nightmare. Did you see any improvement overall LotusRising? 💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 6 Moderator Share Posted February 6 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: I don’t know about you but my muscle soreness and tightness just feel so permanent. I don’t know anymore. I struggle everyday. There is always tightening and pain somewhere either on the torso sides. Upper back, lower back, upper abdomen, under armpit, ribs. It moves round. Yes, I can totally relate! Felt all of this! I know the stretching and yoga just offers temporary relief, but I think it will help you with a better future outcome. 3 hours ago, Giuly88 said: Did you see any improvement overall LotusRising? It still moves around for me, but it's so much better! It used to be so intense, I could hardly get relief. I spent a lot of time on a heating pad or in the tub, sometimes 5-6 times a day. No longer need either. I can get by with yoga now and as I mentioned, the massage is really helping. I can tell when I'm due for my next visit. How about you? You mentioned some windows, are they very long? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted February 6 Author Share Posted February 6 Hi @LotusRising Yes I have had 1 or 2 days in a row where the muscle symptoms were very mild. In the morning muscles ache particularly when I stand in the kitchen in front of the worktop and use my arms/hands to lift, open cupboard to access bowls and cups. The back muscle seem to hurt a lot when I lift my arm/s to grab things whilst my body is standing still. I can also feel my muscle locking on my hips and back but it cycles round. Do you have this muscle locking feeling? Very bizarre, super uncomfortable feeling/sensation. My back muscles tend to relax when I sit down which is when instead my torso muscle take their turns at playing up. I sometimes struggle to believe, have faith that these awful symptoms are recoverable and that they are not damage. I still hold on to hope because you are reporting improvements with your muscle symptoms. Going back to the windows, well they are not reliable and dependent on what I do or don’t do. They may last a couple of hours or have 1 or 2 days of milder symptoms. It does seem that I’m stuck with the back pain tension and torso though, they just have a mind and a soul of their own. Do you experience burning, knife type of pain in ribs/muscles with tearing/pulling? I know I have probably already asked you about the above symptoms 🤦🏽♀️. 💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 6 Moderator Share Posted February 6 5 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: I can also feel my muscle locking on my hips and back but it cycles round. Do you have this muscle locking feeling? Very bizarre, super uncomfortable feeling/sensation. I do have this. Currently, it's sitting in my left jaw muscle. It's often permanently tight, though I do get windows. And like you, it moves around. 9 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: I sometimes struggle to believe, have faith that these awful symptoms are recoverable and that they are not damage. I still struggle with this on and off, but the improvements I've seen are pretty dramatic. Acupuncture and massage are my go-to for this, aside from the stretching. I know it's hard to believe, but the fact you're getting some good windows is an indicator that things are improving. When my mind goes to that thought of "I'm stuck like this", I quickly let it go and replace it with a positive affirmation, "I am healing", "I can feel the improvements". I even posted similar affirmations up on the wall as reminders. I know in the beginning this can be difficult, but over time, the improvements come and the belief is there without having to make yourself think it, if that makes sense. Yes, burning for sure in my back, feet and scalp. I've had a lot of sharp, burning pain even in my teeth and ears - one of my worst symptoms for sure. It has passed thankfully. You're not stuck with any of this! Keep persisting, it gets better ❤️🩹 I can't even believe how far I've come sometimes. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted February 6 Author Share Posted February 6 Thank you @LotusRising for this renewed hope ❤️. What also worries me and makes me furious is that for me tapering wasn’t an option because when I last reinstated in December 2022 for a month I had some awful awful symptoms that I had never experienced before in my previous CTs and reinstatements. This led me to believe that I had kindled myself and although I had just found this forum I all the same decided not to reinstate anymore as I was not sure whether it would resolve the adverse reaction or make it worse and thus terrified of the possibility of a disastrous scenario I rode it out. At this point, I still have no choice but hope that I recover despite my numerous CTs, mistakes, attempts at reinstating etc. Do you think I need acupuncture or massage because I already do my own stretching and yoga poses which are helpful at relaxing me? I don’t want to miss out on more opportunities for healing although I think time is key. 💕 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 6 Moderator Share Posted February 6 5 hours ago, Giuly88 said: At this point, I still have no choice but hope that I recover despite my numerous CTs, mistakes, attempts at reinstating etc. You will @Giuly88, it's the only and best option. 5 hours ago, Giuly88 said: Do you think I need acupuncture or massage because I already do my own stretching and yoga poses which are helpful at relaxing me? I can't say for sure. For me, it was clear that my shoulder was affected and once I started going to physio I knew I needed massage to release the muscles. They were so bound up and still are in some areas, so I don't think my mobility would have improved otherwise. If you feel like you're already getting relief and have no mobility or range of motion issues, then yoga/stretching is probably enough. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Giuly88 Posted February 6 Author Share Posted February 6 12 minutes ago, LotusRising said: You will @Giuly88, it's the only and best option. I can't say for sure. For me, it was clear that my shoulder was affected and once I started going to physio I knew I needed massage to release the muscles. They were so bound up and still are in some areas, so I don't think my mobility would have improved otherwise. If you feel like you're already getting relief and have no mobility or range of motion issues, then yoga/stretching is probably enough. Thank you @LotusRising Yes I have mobility thankfully 😯; there was one time though when it was very cold just before Christmas last year that my neck muscles were constantly tightening up and caused a ‘frozen’ neck with agonising pain. Took a week for that to go with the help of heat pads, hot showers and high neck jumpers 😧. I can’t believe this happened to all of us here. Sometimes it seems so surreal that life is suddenly on hold although I try my best to be present for my children. It must be so hard for you as well and it is not even our fault. You are also providing invaluable and compassionate support to others here on this forum despite your suffering and this is such a selfless and admirable priceless contribution. ❤️ My husband keeps saying that it will get better and that it is taking longer than I would like. Healing vibes to both of us 💕 1 Started 10mg escitalopram March 2016 and stopped CT Feb 2017. Started 10mg citalopram May 2019 Swapped with mirtazapine mid June 2019 used for a week and then switched to Escitalopram 5mg at the end of July 2019, increased gradually to 10mg in September, 15mg in October and 20mg in January 2020. Tapered down to 15mg in April. 10mg in June then a week tapering to 5mg and then stopped CT. Resumed escitalopram in November 2020 at 5mg, increased to 10mg in February 2021, tapered down to 5mg in May 2021 and tapered down to 2.5 in the space of a week in September 2021. Resumed escitalopram at the end of December 2022 at 5mg, increased it to 10mg in March 2023 then tapered down to 5mg in June and down to 2.5mg in July. Started escitalopram 5mg beginning of December 2023 then stopped after 4 days. Took amytryptamine for 2 days then restarted escitalopram at 5mg, after two weeks increased it to 7.5mg, kept it for 1 week then 10mg for 1 week but two many side effects so went back to 5mg. Beginning of January 2023 stopped escitalopram for 1 day then 2.5mg for the next day. Developed discontinuation symptoms reinstated it at 2.5 for 1 week and 1.5 for the following week then stopped. I’m currently experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted February 6 Mentor Share Posted February 6 (edited) 44 minutes ago, Giuly88 said: Yes I have mobility thankfully 😯; there was one time though when it was very cold just before Christmas last year that my neck muscles were constantly tightening up and caused a ‘frozen’ neck with agonising pain. Took a week for that to go with the help of heat pads, hot showers and high neck jumpers 😧. hi @Giuly88 I just read thru your thread, I am so sorry for all that you've been thru and continue to go thru but very encouraged that you are seeing some progress You've even managed to crack a few jokes, good for you! that's not easy to do under these circumstances but it can sure take the pressure off, can't it? It took me a long long time to get off escitalopram (called lexapro here and since that's easier to spell that's what I'll use going forward hahaha) I didn't know ANYthing about withdrawal and as you'll see from my drug signature, I had over 40 yrs of being drugged with all kinds of different meds, mislabelled seriously mentally ill, the whole nine yards. But I recovered!! and am doing great now I did have a lot of muscle tension symptoms, esp jaw and neck and shoulders etc I resorted to using a muscle relaxer a few times, although I think on this forum they advise against that, I really couldn't take it, (at one point I too ended up with a frozen shoulder among other things., as someone else mentioned) So I don't regret using the muscle relaxer. It DID however cause an uptick in some of my emotional symptoms, but they were manageable. It was a good trade off for me for some relief from the spasms and the tightness and pain. I had those symptoms in the past when I'd reduced my dose of lexapro and had NO clue that the decrease in dose was the cause, never got the connection! and saw a dr and got different kinds of muscle relaxers. Those drugs can have some scary side effects, too, so one needs to be super careful. One of them caused me to hallucinate, which turns out to be a common side effect for that drug! I was so shocked. A muscle relaxer causing hallucinations! weird Reading thru your thread you don't mention if you tried magnesium at all. I found that very helpful and still use it a lot today. I tried different kinds of magnesium and different doses til I found what works for me. I actually 2 different kinds now, one for relaxation and also to treat constipation from calcium supplements, and one that is supposed to be good for my heart I don't know if this would be something you'd want to try. It might help?? also gentle stretches- I want to stress the GENTLE part. I have too many physical therapists who caused me more to strain and injure muscles by giving me bad advice. Stretching should never cause pain! if you feel pain, you back off. otherwise you get injured. I have had the odd hand curling up and even toes and fingers stiffening in odd ways and very randomly. It goes away. but it is so distressing when it does happen. I just wanted to let you know that it does end eventually and life can be good again, even great I am now living my absolutely best life, as they say! I never felt this good while medicated and of course felt horribly during WD recovery but that's all in the past! It will be for you too! thanks for sharing those photos! made me smile! also the crack about having 2 more natural childbirths I hear folks talk about WD from heroin and drugs like those but they are in WD for maybe weeks? or even days? and then it's over. Imagine if they had to go thru what we do, from these drugs that were legally prescribed and taken, believing and trusting that they would help us. we are all very strong folks indeed! all the best as you continue to recover! if you get scared and forget that this will indeed end, feel free to message me and I will come as soon as I can to reassure you. although I see you've met some great fellow travelers on this journey who have helped a lot along the way! Edited February 6 by Happy2Heal PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
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