Giuly88:Having bad withdrawal from escitalopram

[Giuly88]

10 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

hi @Giuly88

I just read thru your thread, I am so sorry for all that you've been thru and continue to go thru but very encouraged that you are seeing some progress

You've even managed to crack a few jokes, good for you!

that's not easy to do under these circumstances but it can sure take the pressure off, can't it? 

 

It took me a long long time to get off escitalopram (called lexapro here and since that's easier to spell that's what I'll use going forward hahaha) I didn't know ANYthing about withdrawal and as you'll see from my drug signature, I had over 40 yrs of being drugged with all kinds of different meds, mislabelled seriously mentally ill, the whole nine yards.

 

But I recovered!!  and am doing great now

 

I did have a lot of muscle tension symptoms, esp jaw and neck and shoulders etc 
I resorted to using a muscle relaxer a few times, although I think on this forum they advise against that, I really couldn't take it, (at one point I too ended up with a frozen shoulder among other things., as someone else mentioned)  So I don't regret using the muscle relaxer. It DID however cause an uptick in some of my emotional symptoms, but they were manageable. It was a good trade off for me for some relief from the spasms and the tightness and pain. 
I had those symptoms in the past when I'd reduced my dose of lexapro and had NO clue that the decrease in dose was the cause, never got the connection! and saw a dr and got different kinds of muscle relaxers. Those drugs can have some scary side effects, too, so one needs to be super careful. One of them caused me to hallucinate, which turns out to be a common side effect for that drug! I was so shocked. A muscle relaxer causing hallucinations! weird

Reading thru your thread you don't mention  if you tried magnesium at all. I found that very helpful and still use it a lot today.
I tried different kinds of magnesium and different doses til I found what works for me.

I actually 2 different kinds now, one for relaxation and also to treat constipation from calcium supplements, and one that is supposed to be good for my heart

 

I don't know if this would be something you'd want to try.  It might help??

 

also gentle stretches- I want to stress the GENTLE part. I have too many physical therapists who caused me more to strain and injure muscles by giving me bad advice. Stretching should never cause pain! if you feel pain, you back off. 

otherwise you get injured.

 

I have had the odd hand curling up and even toes and fingers stiffening in odd ways and very randomly. It goes away. but it is so distressing when it does happen. I just wanted to let you know that it does end eventually and life can be good again, even great

I am now living my absolutely best life, as they say! I never felt this good while medicated and of course felt horribly during WD recovery but that's all in the past!

 

It will be for you too!

thanks for sharing those photos!  made me smile! also the crack about having 2 more natural childbirths

 

I hear folks talk about WD from heroin and drugs like those but they are in WD for maybe weeks? or even days? and then it's over.  Imagine if they had to go thru what we do, from these drugs that were legally prescribed and taken, believing and trusting that they would help us. 
we are all very strong folks indeed!

 

all the best as you continue to recover! if you get scared and forget that this will indeed end, feel free to message me and I will come as soon as I can to reassure you. although I see you've met some great fellow travelers on this journey who have helped a lot along the way!

 

 

Hi H2H,

 

Thank you for chiming in ❤️.

 

Thank you for reading my jokes 😊.

 

I am very pleased that you are healed and enjoying life again.

 

What makes me very angry is that no one, no one is held accountable for this crime, for destroying people’s health, families and lives.

 

I can see many people experience neck and shoulders tension which I did but went away. My ongoing issue however is that my muscles on my mid and upper back on both sides have a tearing, achy, tension, tightening like sensation, burning type too. 
 

It is such an unnatural pain that I have never experienced in my whole life and it is intermittent but always there depending on how I move. 
 

Also my torso tightens up and squeezes.

 

The symptoms feel to me like an adverse reaction, damage at the cellular/molecular level. I’m so scared I won’t recover from this and I want to do so much, give so much, There is a blooming, rich and creative life awaiting out there but I can’t embrace it because I’m utterly disabled by this suffering.

 

Did you have these particular symptoms described above? 
 

Before I found this forum I didn’t even know what withdrawal, tapering, weaning off meant. I was puzzled through the years of various unrecognised, unknown withdrawals, by the jolts and jerks at night that I experience from tune to time yet attributed them to ‘nocturnal anxiety’, possibly onset of peri menopausal induced symptoms, my hashimoto’s thyroiditis. The penny dropped though once I found this website 😧.

 

💕💕

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

4 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

What makes me very angry is that no one, no one is held accountable for this crime, for destroying people’s health, families and lives.

me too, me too!

personally I've had to let go of that anger because it was only harming me. there are so many injustices in the world and so many I have no idea how to address. it's frustrating for sure.

4 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

I can see many people experience neck and shoulders tension which I did but went away. My ongoing issue however is that my muscles on my mid and upper back on both sides have a tearing, achy, tension, tightening like sensation, burning type too. 

I didn't have simple "tension" either- I had dystonia type muscle contractions all through out my body, the ones that I was able to get help for, however, were the neck and jaw contractions (I'm guessing because they are fairly common, I don't know)

the muscle pain, the burning, etc, - when I mentioned these to any dr, they just shrugged. Or they'd suggest different pain relievers, which did not work as the problem in my mind was the actual uncontrollable muscle contractions, the dystonia. It  is very painful, I know. I stopped seeing drs because to me, they seemed like total idiots because they could feel the hardness and the contraction of the muscles but were never concerned about it. It was a waste of time (and in many ways to this day, it continues to be a waste of my time to see most drs as even when they can tell me what is wrong, they have no effective treatment for these problems.) 

 

my only previous experience with dystonia was a true and immediate adverse reaction to a phenothiazine (stelazine, a first generation anti psychotic that I was forced to take when I was 18) The muscles in my whole body contracted so hard and tight that I was unable to bend at the waist to sit down, even my facial muscles tightened so that it appeared that I was smiling, so the jackasses in the hospital were saying to me "you cant' have any pain, why are you smiling?"  

It took some time to get them to take me seriously and to call the doctor, who gave me an injection of cogentin (benztropine). I was still forced to take this medication, however, and I am totally confused about why it would cause such a reaction one time and not at other times. (Update, I just googled it and what I found said that I will always be prone to this reaction to that drug and that there might be a genetic cause) I list phenothiazines as a class of drug that I have adverse reactions to, because I don't want any one to ever give me something from that class again, for example, compazine, which is - or was- used often to treat nausea. 

4 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

Did you have these particular symptoms described above? 

yes I did. (and much much more) They did go away. They came and went over a long period of time, I can't tell you exactly how long they lasted however because at a certain point in my recovery journey, I made a firm decision to focus only on the positive things and to ignore or not give any extra time to symptoms I couldn't do anything about. It didn't help me to complain about them, it just made me angry or depressed which I didn't find helpful.

 

Since getting completely off the lexapro, I did have issues with this symptom again from time to time, but always when under extreme stress.  Sometimes I was able to fix it with gentle stretches and PT, other times frankly in spite of the risks, I did use a muscle relaxer (flexeril) it did make me more emotional but I felt it was worth it for the pain relief. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I did a google search just now to find out how and why the anticolinergic drug cogentin stopped the dystonia and another drug that is often used but this that doesn't work as quickly is diphenhydramine (benadryl) 

It makes me wonder if benadryl would help you at all. I am NOT suggesting that you try it, I think that anti histamines are also any other OTC med that can interfere with tapering off SSRIs. I am not able to take benadryl myself as I get severe restless leg syndrome from it. 

 

I did try to find some self help suggestions for dystonia and found these:

Sensory tricks to reduce spasms. Touching certain parts of your body may cause spasms to stop temporarily.

Heat or cold. Applying heat or cold can help ease muscle pain.

Stress management.

 

It is hard to reduce stress during withdrawal and recovery but if you can do the "acknowledge, accept and float" - IIRC that is Claire Weekes' technique, I'm not sure but worth looking into.... that may help. At the very least it may be a good distraction

 

 

a lot of us learn that distraction from the symptoms is the best medicine. It does no good to focus on them as we can end up in a spiral of looking for things to make the symptoms stop, going to drs sometimes and getting told there's "nothing wrong", getting angry and frustrated because we KNOW that there is something wrong!! and then what? what do we do with that anger? it might get trapped in our bodies and we'd just feel worse. I am NOT suggesting that your pain and muscle tightness is from anger, no not at all!  I think it's most likely from WD. 

 

and I'm not suggesting that your anger is making it worse, just suggesting that it may not help. Who knows? *shrug*

 

there is so much about WD recovery that is not known. It is very frustrating.

 

however as much as I hate "big pharma" and the broken health system that led to so much distress in my life, I do know people who insist and believe whole heartedly that some of these same drugs SSRIs etc have been lifesavers for them, or have been at the very least helpful to them, 

and just as I do not want them to discount my experiences, I try not to discount theirs. I find it hard to believe but I am not them, so who am I to say what they feel? and what they choose to believe, is totally up to them. *shrug*

 

I am sorry if something I said upset you. 

I hope today is a better day for you

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you didn't mention, have you tried magnesium? 

 

 

Edited February 7 by Happy2Heal

[Giuly88]

Wow @Happy2Heal you had the torso and back dystonia and it went away? 
 

This is promising and reassuring for me. Thank you for responding to me 😊💕.

 

I did try antihistamines but made me feel worse and gave me constipation and dizziness. I literally don’t take anything but healthy food and water. 
 

I do yoga and stretching and just cope with the pain as best as I can. 
 

May I ask you how long the torso and back dystonia/muscle spasms last for you once you were off lexapro?

 

Here in the UK there is now thankfully much more growing awareness of the damage and devastation that these SSRIs can cause and steps are being slowly taken. 
 

💕

 

 

[Giuly88]

@Happy2Heal 

 

Really sorry to hear how the treated you at the hospital when you suffered the dystonic reaction. No compassion, ethic or empathy whatsoever. It i
 

After learning the truth about the so called medications at my own expense unless it is life threatening there is no way I will ever visit a hospital or A&E again.

 

May I ask you H2H whether you experienced any tremors? I have tremors in my hands that started when I stopped escitalopram.  

[Happy2Heal]

18 minutes ago, Giuly88 said:

May I ask you how long the torso and back dystonia/muscle spasms last for you once you were off lexapro?

 

 

well during WD this was only one of my symptoms and usually not the one that bothered me the most (insomnia was) I would have hours to days with the dystonia like contractions and pain, and then it would go away....

Unlike what I've read for others here, my recovery always got better over time. Some have windows with waves that they say are as bad as, or worse than previous ones. That did not happen for me thankfully!

every single wave was milder and less troublesome than the ones that came before it 
I was very very lucky in that regard.

 

Since getting off the lexapro  I have only had the muscle spasms three times- and ALWAYS when very very stressed out buy other things,
I have PTSD and when I had a bad flare up, or was badly triggered, that is when the dystonia like symptoms came back

 

one time was in 2021 when there was something very distressing going on with my landlord (I found him naked outside my front door- with NO other reason to be there, as I am the only tenant on the top floor of a 3 story walk up, he lives on the floor below me, there is only ONE apt per floor) It took a few months to recover from this, I did take a few days of flexeril but then found out that doing specific stretches helped more. I was also doing yoga but had to modify the poses a bit.

 

another time was in 2022 when I was sick and when I had also travelled to see my brother and things did not go well with that trip. I did take a half of a small dose of flexeril and amazingly the muscle spasms stopped and did not come back, I was happy about that. 

 

there was one other time during the summer but I don't recall what year it was... it was not long after getting to zero though, so around 2018 time frame. I was in PT for my knees, and I had a bad spasm in my mid back and the therapist said she could feel that the muscle was hard and tight and was confused by that. but during that session, the muscle contraction eased up on it's own. It came back a few times over the next week and then stopped.

I don't recall what else was going on at the time, but overall, it seems the only times I get this issue is when I am very stressed out.

 

so I try my best to manage stress

which I am really not good at!!

but I am trying.

 

 

[Giuly88]

39 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

 

well during WD this was only one of my symptoms and usually not the one that bothered me the most (insomnia was) I would have hours to days with the dystonia like contractions and pain, and then it would go away....

Unlike what I've read for others here, my recovery always got better over time. Some have windows with waves that they say are as bad as, or worse than previous ones. That did not happen for me thankfully!

every single wave was milder and less troublesome than the ones that came before it 
I was very very lucky in that regard.

 

Since getting off the lexapro  I have only had the muscle spasms three times- and ALWAYS when very very stressed out buy other things,
I have PTSD and when I had a bad flare up, or was badly triggered, that is when the dystonia like symptoms came back

 

one time was in 2021 when there was something very distressing going on with my landlord (I found him naked outside my front door- with NO other reason to be there, as I am the only tenant on the top floor of a 3 story walk up, he lives on the floor below me, there is only ONE apt per floor) It took a few months to recover from this, I did take a few days of flexeril but then found out that doing specific stretches helped more. I was also doing yoga but had to modify the poses a bit.

 

another time was in 2022 when I was sick and when I had also travelled to see my brother and things did not go well with that trip. I did take a half of a small dose of flexeril and amazingly the muscle spasms stopped and did not come back, I was happy about that. 

 

there was one other time during the summer but I don't recall what year it was... it was not long after getting to zero though, so around 2018 time frame. I was in PT for my knees, and I had a bad spasm in my mid back and the therapist said she could feel that the muscle was hard and tight and was confused by that. but during that session, the muscle contraction eased up on it's own. It came back a few times over the next week and then stopped.

I don't recall what else was going on at the time, but overall, it seems the only times I get this issue is when I am very stressed out.

 

so I try my best to manage stress

which I am really not good at!!

but I am trying.

 

 

Thank you H2H it’s good it all went away. 
 

Can’t believe that landlord what I pervert. It must have been traumatising for you. Shocking 🫨 

 

See ref the dystonia muscles, I didn’t taper so I don’t how long these symptoms are going to last for me although I suspect that I already had these symptoms whilst on lexapro however they were masked by the med.

 

💕💕

[modelarz71]

Hi. I know the site is dedicated to SSRI withdrawal and not to the treatment of so-called "depression" , What do you think what to do when there is no muscle tension and similar things, but there is severe irritability and anhedonia? Maybe go back to SSRIs again. 

[Giuly88]

26 minutes ago, modelarz71 said:

Hi. I know the site is dedicated to SSRI withdrawal and not to the treatment of so-called "depression" , What do you think what to do when there is no muscle tension and similar things, but there is severe irritability and anhedonia? Maybe go back to SSRIs again. 

@modelarz71

 

These symptoms that you describe are typical withdrawal symptoms. Unless they are unmanageable, honestly I would wait it out. They will go. 
 

It is up to you, your decision, however personally I would cope with these two symptoms until they go away. Distraction, walks in nature, watching your favourite show or programme. Doing things that you used to like will bring back that motivation and enjoyment that was part of you before withdrawal.

Amongst the things that you could engage in are: sportive activities, dancing, painting, drawing, crosswords/sudoku, listening to music, writing in your diary or journal, cooking, baking, pruning and watering plants.

 

Sadly no medication will take withdrawal because our brain and body are working hard to learn to function again without the interference of the drug.

 

You are on your way 💕

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, Giuly88 said:

Can’t believe that landlord what I pervert. It must have been traumatising for you. Shocking

it actually triggered my PTSD as I am a rape and incest survivor. It was shocking, yes but he wasn't acting in a threatening way... so overall it was the kind of thing most women would find annoying and it was of course extremely disrespectful. I sent him a very stern message and also had a friend change my locks and put in a peep hole in my door so now I can see if he's out there, dressed or otherwise LOL he hasn't bothered me since and in the past year, he's become somewhat easier to talk to, on those occasions where I have to. I mostly just avoid him.

 

1 hour ago, Giuly88 said:

See ref the dystonia muscles, I didn’t taper so I don’t how long these symptoms are going to last for me although I suspect that I already had these symptoms whilst on lexapro however they were masked by the med.

 

 

 

I didn't taper at all the first couple of times I went off lexapro either. I was started on 10 mgs which was quickly increased to 20 mgs (my father had passed away and I was grieving, I was not depressed!)

 

I stopped taking the lexapro the first time in 2007, at that point I had been on it for 5 yrs. I didn't know about withdrawal

the symptoms were terrible but not as bad as later attempts. I stayed off the lexapro for almost an entire year before giving up and going back on it. I was convinced that I needed the lexapro and that is what all the drs were saying- you feel bad because you stopped a drug that you NEED - that it was like a diabetic not taking insulin!

of course I know better now but I didn't back then

 

I CTed a few more times (in 2012 and 2014) I was constantly complaining to my PCP that I  all I did was sleep but I was not depressed. I was just always tired. I told her I thought it was the lexapro, She insisted that I was sleeping due to depression and should see a psychiatrist cuz I probably needed something stronger.  It was idiotic-I've been depressed and know exactly what that feels like and I was NOT depressed. I could sleep for 20 hrs and still would fall asleep sitting on the sofa putting my shoes on, This was not normal and not a sign of depression.

but you cant' get thru to these drs!! 

 

 

The very last time I finally quit for good I also did not taper in any sensible way.I still at least partly believed the drs that t was ok to stop more or less abruptly.  I did what my PCP said to do, decrease the dose from 20 to 10mgs (she said over a week, I did it over a month) then to 5 mgs and then take it every other day and stop

 

When I stopped, I nearly lost my mind and was calling the dr because I had been wide awake for days and days, could not relax and was very angry - I was screaming at the person who answered the phone. It was awful. The dr tried to get me to take some other med, I think that story is in my original thread. That is when I finally found this forum and reinstated at 2.5 mg (or maybe it was 5mg - this was a long time ago)

 

even then I was being told by my dr that 2.5 mgs was not doing anything at all and so I stopped that and roughly 3 mos later I was in acute protracted withdrawal (I think it's also called PAWs?) I had kindled.

I knew then that nothing was going to help me, I just had to wait it out and pray.

 

 

anyway, this is just to reassure you that you can screw up incredibly, you can cold turkey off the drug not once but many times, and STILL recover.

I was NEVER tapered off the other 30+ meds that I took on a regular basis for years and years. NEVER!! 

I survived all of that

Looking back, I can see that it was often the withdrawal symptoms themselves that were the reason I was given more and more meds

and sometimes the new meds were to deal with the side effects of other meds

It was absurd looking back that no dr saw what was really happening.

 

this is the same story for many of us! there are some members who have drug histories that are even longer and involved more meds than mine does and those folks have recovered, some stayed on the forum for a long time to help others, many wrote success stories and gradually stopped coming here and moved on with their lives

I come back because I know how much it helped me to hear the success stories and to hear directly from the folks who made it thru to the other side, as I have now

I just want to pay it forward for the re assurance that I got from them.

 

🌞

 

 

 

 

Edited February 7 by Happy2Heal

[Giuly88]

1 hour ago, modelarz71 said:

Hi. I know the site is dedicated to SSRI withdrawal and not to the treatment of so-called "depression" , What do you think what to do when there is no muscle tension and similar things, but there is severe irritability and anhedonia? Maybe go back to SSRIs again. 

@modelarz71

 

These symptoms that you describe are typical withdrawal symptoms. Unless they are unmanageable, honestly I would wait it out. They will go. 
 

It is up to you, your decision, however personally I would cope with these two symptoms until they go away. Distraction, walks in nature, watching your favourite show or programme. Doing things that you used to like will bring back that motivation and enjoyment that was part of you before withdrawal.

Painting, dancing, crosswords/sudoku, listening to music, writing in your diary or journal, cooking, baking, pruning and watering plants.

 

Sadly no medication will take withdrawal because our brain and body are working hard to learn to function again without the interference of the drug.

 

You are on your way 💕

 

 

[Giuly88]

@Happy2Heal

 

Sorry to hear about your traumas. No child should endure abuse or harassment. Absolutely appalling. Glad you changed the door lock and managed to straighten up the landlord by making clear that his behaviour was not acceptable.

 

I work with children in a primary school teaching and supporting them with English and maths and I also do private tutoring. Here in the UK safeguarding is a strong value enforced through strict behavioural policies, practices and expectations. The law is very child centred. 
 

I truly hope that I heal. Your experience with lexapro is identical to mine. In January last year it was a shock for me when I found this website and put two and two together. 
 

I have just come across a post on FB lexapro support group I’m a member of where a mother posted that she has just been prescribed lexapro for her 7 year old boy who is experiencing behavioural issues at school. She asked whether she should start her boy on this med. You can imagine what my response/advice must have been. 😡

 

Anyway, I hope God will ensure that justice is done sooner than later.

 

💕💕
 

 

[Happy2Heal]

14 minutes ago, Giuly88 said:

I have just come across a post on FB lexapro support group I’m a member of where a mother posted that she has just been prescribed lexapro for her 7 year old boy who is experiencing behavioural issues at school. She asked whether she should start her boy on this med. You can imagine what my response/advice must have been. 😡

 

oh I think I can! they are prescribing these drugs willy nilly for anything and everything it seems. I hope that mother listened to you. I have not been able to dissuade anyone from trying these drugs nor from giving them to their children. It horrifies me the damage they might be doing.

 

I

16 minutes ago, Giuly88 said:

I work with children in a primary school teaching and supporting them with English and maths and I also do private tutoring. Here in the UK safeguarding is a strong value enforced through strict behavioural policies, practices and expectations. The law is very child centred. 

that is great that the school system tries to protect children! I am 68 yrs old, a lot of the abuse I suffered happened before there were many laws or protections put in place, and even the ones that did exist were largely ignored., All thru out my school years the teachers knew that my siblings and I were being abused and no one stepped in to do anything.

but that is all in the past. I am doing ok considering. 

 

That is great that you work with young kids! I admire anyone who has the patience for that kind of work. Don't get me wrong, I like kids! but I don't think I'd do very well working with them.  I hope teachers are valued more in the UK than they are here in the states

21 minutes ago, Giuly88 said:

I truly hope that I heal

me too! it seems to be the case that everyone does eventually. 
I wish it wasn't such a long process.

 

 

 

[Farm24]

7 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

I think we have similar issues. I took lex for 3 months. Tapered for 1.  The muscles and head tension are awful and the only thing not going away.  Has yours gotten ANY better?

 

Thank you H2H it’s good it all went away. 
 

Can’t believe that landlord what I pervert. It must have been traumatising for you. Shocking 🫨 

 

See ref the dystonia muscles, I didn’t taper so I don’t how long these symptoms are going to last for me although I suspect that I already had these symptoms whilst on lexapro however they were masked by the med.

 

💕💕

 

[Farm24]

@Giuly88

 

Tonight the muscle tension is SO strong, I feel like I am going to vomit.  This is the worst it has ever been and I'm almost 4 months out!  There is no way I can sleep like this.  

[Giuly88]

Hi @LotusRising,

 

How are you?

 

My abdominal muscles have been playing up when I sit down.

 

💕

[LotusRising]

Hi @Giuly88

 

Surprisingly, I've been dealing with a new symptom the past week - burning, tingling and pressure in my scalp. Not severe, but uncomfortable nonetheless. I was able to attend a concert yesterday evening though, which I certainly wasn't able to do over a year ago. The loud, the lights and all the people were manageable, so I can't really complain. I've come a long way.

 

What's happening with your stomach muscles? Same as before? Did you at least get a bit of a break? Is your back any better? I've found that I have a constant rotation of similar pressure sensations all over my body. It's good in the sense that I get relief from time to time in some areas, but also frustrating that it hasn't stopped. Frustrating to say the least.

 

On 2/7/2024 at 10:58 AM, Giuly88 said:

she has just been prescribed lexapro for her 7 year old boy who is experiencing behavioural issues at school.

This is absolutely appalling! I can't even believe this happens ...

[Giuly88]

Hi @LotusRising,

 

It will go soon I’m sure. Did you eat or drink anything different than the usual?

Any new fragrances, shampoos or exposure to smells, substances such as cleaning products, alcohol containing toiletries?

 

I’m sure it’s transitory. Pleased to hear you enjoyed the concert and did not experience any light and sound sensitivity. This is a clear sign of the brain healing and settling down 😊. 

Muscles are up and down. In the evening they can be worse as I’m more tired and with less patience to deal with and tolerate 😔 I don’t know. Also when I exhale my abdominal muscles contract, tighten up how odd. I have had enough of it. 

I know the same for me, my muscle symptoms cycle round also depending on the position that I hold: whether I stand, sit, turn, reach for something, twist or bend. 
 

My hip, buttocks and legs sometimes lock when I stand still. Did you ever get that?

 

We are definitely healing, it is just so slow 🤦🏽‍♀️. 
 

What singer did you see at the concert? 
 

I want to take my daughter Sofia to see Take That and also Rihanna 😊.

💕

[Giuly88]

@LotusRising

 

Reference the 7 year old boy being prescribed lexapro, well I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read it on the Facebook support group. Yes disgusting and shocking. Apparently his mother wrote that he is already on ADHD medication but because apparently his behaviour is so ‘disruptive’ at school the doctor suggested this med. I suggested instead to provide the boy with choices, NOW and THEN board, time table chart, visual cues, distraction, time out/refocusing time strategies.

 

I have a boy myself who is now 10 year old and well he is been assessed for autism as he is often angry, doesn’t like transitioning between one task to another particularly with regard to homework. He has difficulty accepting and understanding other people’s perspectives, viewpoints so I just use strategies with him that sometimes work and sometimes don’t.

 

With all honesty, I think he might have some mild autism traits but as I found out apparently all human beings are within this neurodiversity spectrum just in different degrees of severity. He is getting better though as he grows.

[LotusRising]

9 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

Did you eat or drink anything different than the usual?

Any new fragrances, shampoos or exposure to smells, substances such as cleaning products, alcohol containing toiletries?

No, nothing new. I think it's just the usual course of things. I could feel the head sensations phasing in over the last week or so and then it sort of came to a head, so I expect it will start fading out now over the next week or two. That seems to be my pattern.

 

9 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

This is a clear sign of the brain healing and settling down

Yes, I think so too. I had a moment of mild anxiety where I could suddenly hear the echoes of all the conversations happening around me, but it was short-lived thankfully. I enjoyed the concert - it was somewhat cathartic, since we were supposed to see the same band roughly two years ago, when my whole ordeal began. I had been starting to get episodes of akathisia at the time, among other symptoms and I simply could not have sat through a concert. So, there was a lot of relief, happiness, sadness, all of the feelings at once, while we sat listening last night. 

 

9 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

My hip, buttocks and legs sometimes lock when I stand still. Did you ever get that?

I do periodically get a knee that locks, but not often. Does this happen frequently?

 

We saw City and Colour! It was really good, not the first time seeing them.

 

My daughter has become a "swifty" as of late (she's 11) and is hoping Taylor Swift will open up a new dates close to us. I've told her I would take her, but part of me hopes she doesn't in fact release more dates lol.

 

Take That and Rihanna would both be great to see!

 

Yes, we are definitely healing, one day at a time ❤️

[LotusRising]

@Giuly88

 

How are you doing?

[Giuly88]

@LotusRising

 

Hi LotusRising,

 

Thank you for your message ❤️. How are you? I have ups and downs. 
 

Same old stuff with tightness doing the cycling. I have the every other day pattern of healing and symptoms. 
 

My muscles have been tightening up on my torso, neck, upper back, flanks and also where the spine is.

Did/do you experience tightness and pressure on the spine around the mid back?

 

There have been improvements in my overall functionality but then I crash again 🤦🏽‍♀️. I have been having issues my jaw moving left and right affecting my ears too and also the pulsating tinnitus that comes and goes at night time.

 

How are your symptoms? Have you had any further positive progress in your healing? I have been upset and down because I struggle to cope psychologically due to my constant fear of not healing and being stuck with this. My days are too long although I try to keep busy.

I truly believe that this whole unpredictable and non linear process is being traumatic for me.

 

I forgot I have been having so many mental pictures of past places where I have been that just pop in my mind continuously. There are racing images that randomly surface onto my consciousness.
 

I admit that I find it fascinating and mysterious because there is not rhyme or reason for this. I don’t consciously make any connection with these memories of places or deliberately think about these experiences. I can tell that my brain is just working in the background to sew, restitch and mend memory circuits and networks 😊

 

💕💕

[Farm24]

42 minutes ago, Giuly88 said:

@LotusRising

 

Hi LotusRising,

 

Thank you for your message ❤️. How are you? I have ups and downs. 
 

Same old stuff with tightness doing the cycling. I have the every other day pattern of healing and symptoms. 
 

My muscles have been tightening up on my torso, neck, upper back, flanks and also where the spine is.

Did/do you experience tightness and pressure on the spine around the mid back?

 

There have been improvements in my overall functionality but then I crash again 🤦🏽‍♀️. I have been having issues my jaw moving left and right affecting my ears too and also the pulsating tinnitus that comes and goes at night time.

 

How are your symptoms? Have you had any further positive progress in your healing? I have been upset and down because I struggle to cope psychologically due to my constant fear of not healing and being stuck with this. My days are too long although I try to keep busy.

I truly believe that this whole unpredictable and non linear process is being traumatic for me.

 

I forgot I have been having so many mental pictures of past places where I have been that just pop in my mind continuously. There are racing images that randomly surface onto my consciousness.
 

I admit that I find it fascinating and mysterious because there is not rhyme or reason for this. I don’t consciously make any connection with these memories of places or deliberately think about these experiences. I can tell that my brain is just working in the background to sew, restitch and mend memory circuits and networks 😊

 

💕💕

This is interesting because my last main issue is heavy body and also muscle contraction and my symptoms are every other day.  I don't understand how it can be calm one day and awful the next?  The heavy body feeling seems to be getting mildly better for me.  

 

Have yours decreased in severity since last year?  The worst part is lack of sleep with it.  It is hard to sleep when you're in pain.  

[Giuly88]

@Farm24

 

A lot of my muscle issues have gone down: calves, shoulders, neck, arms  and legs muscles contractions have now subsided or just occasionally flare up if I overexert myself too much.
 

The abdominal tightness, back and rib cage spasms however are still here and still very uncomfortable at times.

 

You are 4 months out and seeing improvements so this is a very good sign of healing. 💕

[LotusRising]

@Giuly88

 

I'm doing okay. Better than okay, really. But similarly, upset and down on and off due to the unknown end point of all of this. I'm longing to just be back to normal, so I can go about doing all the things I love to do, but I suppose there's still learning to do in the space between here and the end of my healing. 

 

I have a muscle in my jaw that is tensed most of the time, which is affecting my bite. It improves some days, but I can tell my jaw is out of place, which is rather uncomfortable. And the tinnitus comes and goes still, but lots of times it is quiet! I do also get the pain/pressure/contraction-type feelings in my back as well, though it seems to cycle round like the rest. My abdomen has been great though and my sleep has improved, so I'm grateful for that. 

 

It's the invisibleness of it all that's hard. People just can't really relate can they? I find I don't speak of symptoms much outside of here. Do you have people to talk to that 'get' it?

 

5 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

I truly believe that this whole unpredictable and non linear process is being traumatic for me.

Yes, absolutely. I can relate to this for sure.  

 

5 hours ago, Giuly88 said:

 

I admit that I find it fascinating and mysterious because there is not rhyme or reason for this.

Agreed. The human body is quite remarkable and even though I knew this, I never really thought about it in any great depth. Now, I'm keenly aware of every single sensation, almost at all times. Though I find I have many stretches of time where I feel back to myself, so this is reassuring for sure.

[Giuly88]

On 2/7/2024 at 6:21 PM, Happy2Heal said:

 

oh I think I can! they are prescribing these drugs willy nilly for anything and everything it seems. I hope that mother listened to you. I have not been able to dissuade anyone from trying these drugs nor from giving them to their children. It horrifies me the damage they might be doing.

 

I

that is great that the school system tries to protect children! I am 68 yrs old, a lot of the abuse I suffered happened before there were many laws or protections put in place, and even the ones that did exist were largely ignored., All thru out my school years the teachers knew that my siblings and I were being abused and no one stepped in to do anything.

but that is all in the past. I am doing ok considering. 

 

That is great that you work with young kids! I admire anyone who has the patience for that kind of work. Don't get me wrong, I like kids! but I don't think I'd do very well working with them.  I hope teachers are valued more in the UK than they are here in the states

me too! it seems to be the case that everyone does eventually. 
I wish it wasn't such a long process.

 

 

 

@Happy2Heal

 

Hi H2H,

 

Just wanted to say hi. I know you stepped back from visiting the forum.

 

I hope your life is treating you well and thank you for all your supportive and reassuring messages ❤️.

 

I you feel like you want to chat I’m always here 😊

 

 

[Giuly88]

7 hours ago, LotusRising said:

@Giuly88

 

I'm doing okay. Better than okay, really. But similarly, upset and down on and off due to the unknown end point of all of this. I'm longing to just be back to normal, so I can go about doing all the things I love to do, but I suppose there's still learning to do in the space between here and the end of my healing. 

 

I have a muscle in my jaw that is tensed most of the time, which is affecting my bite. It improves some days, but I can tell my jaw is out of place, which is rather uncomfortable. And the tinnitus comes and goes still, but lots of times it is quiet! I do also get the pain/pressure/contraction-type feelings in my back as well, though it seems to cycle round like the rest. My abdomen has been great though and my sleep has improved, so I'm grateful for that. 

 

It's the invisibleness of it all that's hard. People just can't really relate can they? I find I don't speak of symptoms much outside of here. Do you have people to talk to that 'get' it?

 

Yes, absolutely. I can relate to this for sure.  

 

Agreed. The human body is quite remarkable and even though I knew this, I never really thought about it in any great depth. Now, I'm keenly aware of every single sensation, almost at all times. Though I find I have many stretches of time where I feel back to myself, so this is reassuring for sure.

@LotusRising

 

Yes I can relate with the jaw tightness and the tinnitus. For me they come and go.

 

It is reassuring  that you have many moments where you feel back to your normal self. 
 

I thankfully can relate to this as I too have times during the day where I feel well in my case ‘relatively’ normal.

 

Thing is I didn’t taper well, it was 2 weeks taper with escitalopram and no taper for the z drugs that I only used very sparingly over the course of a month although as I found out they have a 2 hours short life 🤦🏽‍♀️ so perhaps my muscles issues were caused by this I will never know. 
 

I found on BenzoBuddies that lots of people  who used other Clonazepam or z drugs have exactly the same symptoms as me: torso, back, rib, flank tightness and squeezing. Even very short term users.

 

I can’t go back now so I just have to hope that these symptoms go and I can get on with my life and, like you, do the things that I live doing.

 

Hope the sun ☀️ shine for us both and bring us blissful healing 💕💕

[Giuly88]

@LotusRising

 

I don’t have people I speak to other than my family: husband, brothers and my parents.

 

I have a couple of friends I mentioned what happened to me and they are very sympathetic but because I’m always unwell I don’t have the energy and wellbeing to meet up.

 

They all believe me because they know me and trust me and remember how I was prior to this however, as you may suspect, they have no clue, how could they?, about what I’m going through, what it feels like etc.

 

This is by far the most lonely, savage, excruciating, agonising and terrifying thing I have ever had to endure in my life.

 

The fact that, there was no way I could have spared this to myself because I was never told the risks involved or given an informed choice, feels me with anger and disgust.

 

I apologise for this depressive account, yet I stay positive that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, that our brain and body are working hard every minute to carry out the repairs that will lead to our final healing.

I’m not having a good day today I have shivers, I think I’m in a wave and approaching my period.

 

I’m delighted to learn that your sleep has improved and your abdominal muscles are well :).

 

❤️

 

[LotusRising]

1 hour ago, Giuly88 said:

I apologise for this depressive account, yet I stay positive that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, that our brain and body are working hard every minute to carry out the repairs that will lead to our final healing.

No need to apologize. If we can't express our sad thoughts truthfully to someone, that can leave us in a worse place. I'm happy to hear you're still staying optimistic. You have every reason to be ❤️

[Giuly88]

Hi @LotusRising,

 

How are you doing?

 

I’m up and down, one day my symptoms are relatively mild, the next they are more intense. Today I’m not in a very good place. I have fatigue, my back was weak and tight and struggled to support me when I sat down. 
 

My muscles in my back and obliques are often very tight and my abdominal muscles too and they squeeze. Do you think this is dystonia? 
 

I’m very discouraged atm. I feel stuck with no light at the end of the tunnel.
 

Are you having any improvements? How are your jaw muscles and the tinnitus?

 

❤️

[LotusRising]

@Giuly88

 

I'm doing okay. I've been better for sure. Feeling a little weighed down emotionally, but at least the sun is shining here  

Similarly up and down. No real change in the jaw muscles. It seems it's creating more issues due to the irregular bite, so I'm having to see a specialist, who is of course recommending treatments exceeding what I'd like to spend at the moment. It's very frustrating. 

 

1 hour ago, Giuly88 said:

My muscles in my back and obliques are often very tight and my abdominal muscles too and they squeeze. Do you think this is dystonia? 

Did you have any muscular issues prior to medication? If not, I expect it's just a WD symptom. The fact that it comes and goes is also suggestive of this. I've had a return of upper body tension, so it seems I'm always feeling crunched up and tight. The cold doesn't help, but I think we have warmer weather coming. Do you do epsom salt baths? This helps me quite a bit actually. When at my worst, it didn't touch the muscle tension at all, but now it provides a lot of relief.

 

1 hour ago, Giuly88 said:

I’m very discouraged atm. I feel stuck with no light at the end of the tunnel.

I can relate, but like you, I do have good days. Really good days actually. I expect when this is all over, it will just be a blip in all of our years. Certainly a harder blip than others though. 

 

I'm going to head out for a walk in the sun, see if I can't improve my mood a bit. It must be evening where you are? Did you get out today? ❤️

[Farm24]

On 3/6/2024 at 1:30 PM, Giuly88 said:

Hi @LotusRising,

 

How are you doing?

 

I’m up and down, one day my symptoms are relatively mild, the next they are more intense. Today I’m not in a very good place. I have fatigue, my back was weak and tight and struggled to support me when I sat down. 
 

My muscles in my back and obliques are often very tight and my abdominal muscles too and they squeeze. Do you think this is dystonia? 
 

I’m very discouraged atm. I feel stuck with no light at the end of the tunnel.
 

Are you having any improvements? How are your jaw muscles and the tinnitus?

 

❤️

@Giuly88 any better today?  

[Farm24]

On 3/6/2024 at 1:30 PM, Giuly88 said:

Hi @LotusRising,

 

How are you doing?

 

I’m up and down, one day my symptoms are relatively mild, the next they are more intense. Today I’m not in a very good place. I have fatigue, my back was weak and tight and struggled to support me when I sat down. 
 

My muscles in my back and obliques are often very tight and my abdominal muscles too and they squeeze. Do you think this is dystonia? 
 

I’m very discouraged atm. I feel stuck with no light at the end of the tunnel.
 

Are you having any improvements? How are your jaw muscles and the tinnitus?

 

❤️

I youtubed a video of dystonia.  I don't think that is what is going on but I could be wrong.  

[JayP80]

Hi guys I hope you’re all ok. I’m new here. About 3 weeks ago my doctor reduced my Lexapro from 20mg to 10mg overnight. Also put me on Buspirone 5mg x 3 daily. I was on that for a week and a half before dropping the Buspirone. Now just on 10mg Lexapro. Terrible back pain, calves are twitching and spasming non stop, cramp when I exercise. I tried to put my signature up with my meds and timeline. Anyway, thought I’d say hello and all the best. 

[Farm24]

1 hour ago, JayP80 said:

Hi guys I hope you’re all ok. I’m new here. About 3 weeks ago my doctor reduced my Lexapro from 20mg to 10mg overnight. Also put me on Buspirone 5mg x 3 daily. I was on that for a week and a half before dropping the Buspirone. Now just on 10mg Lexapro. Terrible back pain, calves are twitching and spasming non stop, cramp when I exercise. I tried to put my signature up with my meds and timeline. Anyway, thought I’d say hello and all the best. 

Hello. I was only on 3 months and still dealing with all the above. 

[Farm24]

1 hour ago, JayP80 said:

Hi guys I hope you’re all ok. I’m new here. About 3 weeks ago my doctor reduced my Lexapro from 20mg to 10mg overnight. Also put me on Buspirone 5mg x 3 daily. I was on that for a week and a half before dropping the Buspirone. Now just on 10mg Lexapro. Terrible back pain, calves are twitching and spasming non stop, cramp when I exercise. I tried to put my signature up with my meds and timeline. Anyway, thought I’d say hello and all the best. 

You might ask the mods about updosing a little bit

[Rosetta]

On 3/6/2024 at 7:30 PM, Giuly88 said:

I have fatigue, my back was weak and tight and struggled to support me when I sat down. 
 

My muscles in my back and obliques are often very tight and my abdominal muscles too and they squeeze. Do you think this is dystonia? 

Hi, Giuly,

 

How are your muscles?  You can make a lotion or oil out of magnesium powder or Epsom salts.  You could use cocoa butter or even olive oil.  You need to dissolve the magnesium flakes or Epsom crystals in the cocoa butter or oil by using heat.  Some people dissolve them in a little water on the stove before mixing that into the butter or oil.  Then you put the lotion/oil on your skin where the affected muscles are.  
 

If magnesium was not something you tolerated well by mouth, maybe in this way, you could try it.  If you look online for DIY, the ratio is 1:1, but you could lower the magnesium or Epsom salt amount to begin with, and then add more later.

 

Taking an Epsom salt bath is good, too, of course.  
 

TigerBalm or IcyHot might be something you could try, as well.

 

Rosetta