Dutchsarah - Zoloft.

[Comecloser80]

Glad and happy that you are doing better even though it’s a little at this stage. 
Lot of my symptoms has gotten better but sleep seems to have gone backwards, I started waking up at 2:30am or 3:00am for few weeks now, still cannot nap. 
I wish you well and speedy recovery.

[Dutchsarah]

I went to see a small concert yesterday and the sounds was way too loud. I stepped out because I could feel it wasn't good for me.

Today I have to worst sensitivity to sounds it's very extreme. Even when my kids are talking at normal volume it hurts my head just so badly...

 

Did anyone else experience this? 

 

I came out of a 12 day window where i was able to kind of function normally. My husband went on a business trip for 8 days and being home alone with the kids is something I could not have done at all before so that is a huge win. 

 

However, the next heavy wave was right around the corner. How come waves always feel so different from previous ones? 

It's frustrating almost 6 months out to be hit so hard with a wave. It feels like I'm back at square one... I know it's not true but my brain is telling me other wise.

I started going to an online withdrawal support group which was helpful. 

 

Anyway, for anybody who is reading this, keep going warriors.

I could use a little encouragement today 😞

 

 

 

[Dutchsarah]

I went to see a small concert yesterday and the sounds was way too loud. I stepped out because I could feel it wasn't good for me.

Today I have to worst sensitivity to sounds it's very extreme. Even when my kids are talking at normal volume it hurts my head just so badly...

 

Did anyone else experience this? 

 

I came out of a 12 day window where i was able to kind of function normally. My husband went on a business trip for 8 days and being home alone with the kids is something I could not have done at all before so that is a huge win. 

 

However, the next heavy wave was right around the corner. How come waves always feel so different from previous ones? 

It's frustrating almost 6 months out to be hit so hard with a wave. It feels like I'm back at square one... I know it's not true but my brain is telling me other wise.

I started going to an online withdrawal support group which was helpful. 

 

Anyway, for anybody who is reading this, keep going warriors.

I could use a little encouragement today 😞

 

 

 

[Dutchsarah]

Somehow my message got posted a few times.. 😶

[Angus]

@Dutchsarah I just read some of your thread. I hope you are having a window-  hang in there💗💗. There are better days for sure ahead!

[peaceandlove]

On 6/19/2023 at 11:48 PM, Dutchsarah said:

Allowing my self to really sit with the discomfort but trying to avoid ruminating. When I sit still or watch any kind of things on screen things get worse, but being so weak and tired and not able to do anything but to sit still.

 Anyone else? 

I know you wrote this a while ago but I definitely relate to this. Trying to distract from the mental symptoms but not having the energy too because our nervous system is so tired / sensitive 😣

[Dutchsarah]

@peaceandlove  that was one of the hardest things early on in my withdrawal. 

The inability for distraction because nearly any stimulus was too much.

I have made progress in the last couple of months. 

A few months ago the only thing that would give me relief was listening to the power of now by Eckhart Tolle while doing slow movement like yin yoga.

 

I'm able to watch TV again now, and even exercising like running if I don't push myself too hard. 

 

Did you have an adverse reaction as well? 

Wishing you lots of positive thoughts and nice long windows.

Take care. 

 

 

[Dutchsarah]

@Angus

 

Yes doing better. These waves are so deceiving. Somehow when I get hit by one it feels the same but also very different from the last and I'm convinced it's never going to end.

 

Thank you for stopping by on my feed and reaching out. 

 

I hope you are in a window as well. Wishing you lots of healing and positive thoughts.

[Dutchsarah]

I'm over 9 months off now. 

For anyone reading this I have a question.

When in a wave do you doubt yourself very much that the symptoms just can't be withdrawal anymore?

That is has to be sometimes else?

The doubting is very hard for me and I'm wondering if anyone else deals with that and how they go about it. 

 

 

Little update. I had shoulder surgery on September 21 and it went well. I went over all the medication they would give me before hand with Angie peacock to see what was to be avoided and did not have a bad reaction to the anesthesia. I refused the anti nausea meds and benzos. 

 

 

At first my recovery went well but now it seems that I have developed a frozen shoulder. Its been extremely debilitating and has definitely messed with me. 

I'm blaming withdrawal for this as it's kind of an autoimmune reaction.

 

I had a pretty good routing going to get me through withdrawal and that is shot now. 

I can no longer do soft yoga, and easy jogging on day that its all too much. 

 

A frozen shoulder would have been extremely hard to handle without being in withdrawal so it's almost seem like I just can't overcome this. I'm a very athletic person and a lot of my identity is wrapped up in moving my body. 

 

I had to take a 6 day steroid pack for my shoulder during Christmas at first I thought it was ok my now over 10 day after I'm hit with such a bad wave it seems like a huge set back. 

Just need to make it through this day.

 

[Hibari]

Hi @Dutchsarah

 

I found your thread from someone commenting on mine.

 

I empathize with your frozen shoulder situation because I have had one too since October.  

 

I believe I've moved from the freezing stage to the frozen stage. I have to hold on doing more treatments because I just came off of Mirtazapine and I don't want to revv up my system. 

 

So now it's the heating pad, ice and numerous ointments. Very frustrating. 

 

And yes, I've had many doubts that my symptoms were not just withdrawal. They always were but this process makes us vulnerable. 

 

Has your wave subsided? 

 

Hibari 

[Dutchsarah]

@Hibari

 

Thank you for stopping by.

Yes frozen shoulder has been very hard on top of withdrawal. I foolishly agreed on taking 5 days os predisone for my shoulder and it has giving me a huge set back in my withdrawal.

May I ask how old you are? Frozen shoulders seem to happen a lot more to people over 55. I just turned 41 and I'm blaming my withdrawal a little for this as frozen shoulder seems to be an autoimmune response. 

 

Are you kind of symptom free with your withdrawal?

Wishing you a good day. 

[Hibari]

I'm post 50 and this is my second frozen shoulder. The first one happened towards the end of my benzo taper and again, was due to a strained muscle that got worse due to withdrawal. 

 

I had a setback caused by a steroid and other meds in some anesthesia I had for unavoidable surgery. I had some symptoms with the setback that  I never had in previous withdrawal. 

 

I get what that's like and it's what caused me to go on Mirt a second time, which I regret. I ha

 

My symptoms post withdrawal are similar to ones I had during tapering. A little more intense but manageable. I'm off Mirt 21 days. 

 

Setbacks do end and I have healed from mine. Now just the post Mirt healing. 

 

Hibari 

 

 

[Dutchsarah]

Update. 

 

My withdrawal has gotten a lot worse. 

After taking oral steroids I slowly got thrown into deep withdrawal hell. 

I developed Akhatesia at the end of March and was Pacing with pure terror for about a week.  This is by far the most insane horrible terrifying things that I have ever ever felt. 

 

I'm only pacing for short bouts here and there now but my morning cortisol rushes are so strong that I dry heave for about 30 minutes most mornings. 

 

My symptoms are, severe peripheral neuropathy, cognitive decline, brain fog, terror, mental akathesia, chest burning, brain zaps, tinnitus, dry heaving, dizziness, muscle pain, tremors, anhedonia, SI, and the list goes on. 

 

I have not been very active on this website as I signed up for Baylissas bloom in welness community and it has given me lots of support. 

 

 

Im not functional at al, not able to work, and caring for my kids is extremely hard.

Im so thankful for my husband and family who have been here for me through and through. 

 

I'm seeing a neurologist at the beginning of June to rule out other things.