Allison48: 4 month wave of depression

[Allison48]

Hi everyone! I just joined this group after being 10 months off of Pristiq from a fast taper. I’m part of a different withdrawal group, which was how I heard about this forum.

 

I had a couple of windows in the beginning, 2 at 60% better, then one that lasted a week in September/early October where I felt 80% better. Then after that week, I was hit with a wave and haven’t had a full window for 4 months.

 

Every day I wake up with so much dread and despair, and then throughout the day the depression persists. It’s consistent and hasn’t gone away in these 4 months. I had a couple days where I felt 20% better, but it wasn’t a full window. Instead, I’m getting hit with wave after wave after wave, like I’m in the middle of an ocean storm. Right now I feel a strong emotion of worthlessness and insignificance, it’s incredibly scary. I feel so alone and detached from the world, and I’m constantly attached “what’s the point?” to everything. I’m also hyper vigilant and take everything negative to heart.

 

Besides the consistent depression, I have anxiety, ocd, dp/dr and pulsatile tinnitus as symptoms. 

I could really use some hope, this wave is absolutely awful and all I want is to feel better.

[LotusRising]

Hi @Allison48

 

Welcome to SA,

 

Please have a look around the site, you are in good company here.

 

Have you had a chance to look through the first page of our site? It has a lot of great links to the most important topics. The Symptoms and Self-care forum has a lot of useful resources for coping with symptoms.

 

You may also want to reach out to other members, as this is a useful way to connect and receive support.

 

Could you please help us out by creating a signature. This will ensure your drug history appears at the bottom of your posts, which will help others to better assist you.

 

How to Create a Signature

 

This is your introductions thread. Please post any updates or questions right here. It's helpful to keep everything related to your journey in one spot.

 

Again, welcome, please reach out with any questions  

 

LotusRising

[Allison48]

Hi everyone! I just joined this group after being 10 months off of Pristiq from a fast taper. 

 

I had a couple of windows in the beginning, 2 at 60% better, then one that lasted a week in September/early October where I felt 80% better. Then after that week, I was hit with a wave and haven’t had a full window for 4.5 months.

 

Every day I wake up with so much dread and despair, and then throughout the day the depression persists. It’s consistent and hasn’t gone away in these 4 months. I had a couple days where I felt 20% better, but it wasn’t a full window. Instead, I’m getting hit with wave after wave after wave, like I’m in the middle of an ocean storm. Right now I feel a strong emotion of worthlessness and insignificance, it’s incredibly scary. I feel so alone and detached from the world, and I’m constantly attached “what’s the point?” to everything. I’m also hyper vigilant and take everything negative to heart.

 

Besides the consistent depression, I have anxiety, ocd, dp/dr and pulsatile tinnitus as symptoms. 

I could really use some hope, this wave is absolutely awful and all I want is to feel better.

[KenA]

@Allison48 I have moved your new post to your introduction topic. We like to keep everything organized and in one place.

 

Thanks,

KenA

Admin

[Allison48]

Thank you! I felt like the post needed a new title, since I wasn’t getting any comments. 😕

[KenA]

I can change the title for you if you would like, just let me know

 

[Allison48]

Yes please!

[KenA]

Done

 

[Allison48]

How do I get people to respond to my forum?

[Emma09]

11 hours ago, Allison48 said:

How do I get people to respond to my forum?

I have no idea- it seems like certain ones gain a lot of traction while others don’t, I also haven’t had a lot of responses, probably just people not seeing it as there are so many of us on here. I found this by searching “windows”, I find most of the threads I interact with through searching random topics I’m interested in. Anyways, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in such a long wave. I’ve definitely had longggg waves of depression and it sucks so bad. 10 months out of your taper is still pretty early in withdrawal years so I wouldn’t lose hope, and if you said it was a fast taper there is still a lot your body will adjust to over time, in my unprofessional opinion at least. The depression is so bad for me sometimes and lasts for long stretches that it seems ridiculous that it would need to last that long, it’s incredibly frustrating. But then it gets better. So who knows. 

[modelarz71]

20 hours ago, Allison48 said:

Jak sprawić, by ludzie odpowiadali na moim forum?

Hello, I also took escitalopram and only 6 months in "therapeutic" doses.
Do you have symptoms such as insomnia, (difficulty falling asleep, waking up at night and in the morning), do you have digestive difficulties, like your eyes.
In my case, this is permanent, 
Probably for You The most important are the answers of the mods because they say whether it is worth trying to restore, also I keep asking about it with my thread although I have answers...so no one answers me anymore either

[Allison48]

14 hours ago, Emma09 said:

The depression is so bad for me sometimes and lasts for long stretches that it seems ridiculous that it would need to last that long, it’s incredibly frustrating.

That makes sense! 💕 How long was your longest stretch of depression? It truly is awful

[Allison48]

5 hours ago, modelarz71 said:

Do you have symptoms such as insomnia, (difficulty falling asleep, waking up at night and in the morning), do you have digestive difficulties

 Thankfully I’ve only had a few restless nights so far, but definitely more digestive issues. How is your diet? Why do you say permanent?

[modelarz71]

3 hours ago, Allison48 said:

 Thankfully I’ve only had a few restless nights so far, but definitely more digestive issues. How is your diet? Why do you say permanent?

Sorry but today I went out of the house and now I am writing back, besides thank you for your message
My diet is that I eat very little. Digestion has slowed down and I have a quick feeling of fullness and related discomfort.
It has been like this since April - May 2023 , then the big drug reinstatement caused this at 90% or it was a delayed WD at 10%....
I myself don't know what to do next I guess I will have to reinstate again but a small amount because I can't function like this crying all the time and I only took AD for 6 months
I don't know what to do next

[Allison48]

3 hours ago, modelarz71 said:

I myself don't know what to do next I guess I will have to reinstate again but a small amount because I can't function like this crying all the time and I only took AD for 6 months
I don't know what to do next

It sounds like you tapered too fast! None of this is permanent. Definitely look at the guidelines around tapering that this website has to offer!

[modelarz71]

15 hours ago, Allison48 said:

It sounds like you tapered too fast! None of this is permanent. Definitely look at the guidelines around tapering that this website has to offer!

Good that your sleep is fine, what are your digestive problems?
How did lexapro work on you, were you euphoric ?
I did not know it was "drugs" and did not know about reducing 
I am afraid of going to the hospital . It's been a long time since I've taken escitalopram but it's bad because I'm severely depressed I even walk slowly and it's hard for me to do anything, I go to the store but I have a face like I'm in physical pain and everyone is looking at me , if I started crying in the store someone would call an ambulance right away

 

[modelarz71]

On 3/5/2024 at 5:59 PM, Allison48 said:

 Thankfully I’ve only had a few restless nights so far, but definitely more digestive issues. How is your diet? Why do you say permanent?

About digestive issues