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Allison48: 4 month wave of depression


Allison48

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Hi everyone! I just joined this group after being 10 months off of Pristiq from a fast taper. I’m part of a different withdrawal group, which was how I heard about this forum.

 

I had a couple of windows in the beginning, 2 at 60% better, then one that lasted a week in September/early October where I felt 80% better. Then after that week, I was hit with a wave and haven’t had a full window for 4 months.

 

Every day I wake up with so much dread and despair, and then throughout the day the depression persists. It’s consistent and hasn’t gone away in these 4 months. I had a couple days where I felt 20% better, but it wasn’t a full window. Instead, I’m getting hit with wave after wave after wave, like I’m in the middle of an ocean storm. Right now I feel a strong emotion of worthlessness and insignificance, it’s incredibly scary. I feel so alone and detached from the world, and I’m constantly attached “what’s the point?” to everything. I’m also hyper vigilant and take everything negative to heart.

 

Besides the consistent depression, I have anxiety, ocd, dp/dr and pulsatile tinnitus as symptoms. 


I could really use some hope, this wave is absolutely awful and all I want is to feel better.

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

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  • LotusRising changed the title to Allison48: 10 Months off Pristiq
  • Moderator

Hi @Allison48

 

Welcome to SA,

 

Please have a look around the site, you are in good company here.

 

Have you had a chance to look through the first page of our site? It has a lot of great links to the most important topics. The Symptoms and Self-care forum has a lot of useful resources for coping with symptoms.

 

You may also want to reach out to other members, as this is a useful way to connect and receive support.

 

Could you please help us out by creating a signature. This will ensure your drug history appears at the bottom of your posts, which will help others to better assist you.

 

How to Create a Signature

 

This is your introductions thread. Please post any updates or questions right here. It's helpful to keep everything related to your journey in one spot.

 

Again, welcome, please reach out with any questions :) 

 

LotusRising

2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods

2010-2011 Ativan

2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD

2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term

2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months

Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this)

Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23  - 0mg!

 

"Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell

 

*** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** 

 

                                                             *** Please do not send me PM's ***

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi everyone! I just joined this group after being 10 months off of Pristiq from a fast taper. 

 

I had a couple of windows in the beginning, 2 at 60% better, then one that lasted a week in September/early October where I felt 80% better. Then after that week, I was hit with a wave and haven’t had a full window for 4.5 months.

 

Every day I wake up with so much dread and despair, and then throughout the day the depression persists. It’s consistent and hasn’t gone away in these 4 months. I had a couple days where I felt 20% better, but it wasn’t a full window. Instead, I’m getting hit with wave after wave after wave, like I’m in the middle of an ocean storm. Right now I feel a strong emotion of worthlessness and insignificance, it’s incredibly scary. I feel so alone and detached from the world, and I’m constantly attached “what’s the point?” to everything. I’m also hyper vigilant and take everything negative to heart.

 

Besides the consistent depression, I have anxiety, ocd, dp/dr and pulsatile tinnitus as symptoms. 


I could really use some hope, this wave is absolutely awful and all I want is to feel better.

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

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  • KenA changed the title to Allison48: 4 month wave of depression
  • Administrator

@Allison48 I have moved your new post to your introduction topic. We like to keep everything organized and in one place.

 

Thanks,

KenA

Admin

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thank you! I felt like the post needed a new title, since I wasn’t getting any comments. 😕

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

Link to comment
  • Administrator

I can change the title for you if you would like, just let me know

 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

Link to comment

Yes please!

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

Link to comment
  • KenA changed the title to Allison48: 4 month wave of depression
  • Administrator

Done :)

 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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  • 3 weeks later...

How do I get people to respond to my forum?

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

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11 hours ago, Allison48 said:

How do I get people to respond to my forum?

I have no idea- it seems like certain ones gain a lot of traction while others don’t, I also haven’t had a lot of responses, probably just people not seeing it as there are so many of us on here. I found this by searching “windows”, I find most of the threads I interact with through searching random topics I’m interested in. Anyways, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in such a long wave. I’ve definitely had longggg waves of depression and it sucks so bad. 10 months out of your taper is still pretty early in withdrawal years so I wouldn’t lose hope, and if you said it was a fast taper there is still a lot your body will adjust to over time, in my unprofessional opinion at least. The depression is so bad for me sometimes and lasts for long stretches that it seems ridiculous that it would need to last that long, it’s incredibly frustrating. But then it gets better. So who knows. 

Drug history: 

2016-2020: 150mg Zoloft 

2020-2021: don't know the dates, down and up 25-100, by 2022 down to 25mg

February 2022: CT from 25mg, reinstated after 5 days 

Over summer: back up to 50 then 100 (doctors advice...)

Winter: back down to 50mg

June 2023: 25mg

OCTOBER 15th 2023: start 10% taper, switch 25mg pill to 22mg liquid 

sx: lightheadedness, appetite loss, some nausea, dread, despair, agitation 

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, Allison48 said:

Jak sprawić, by ludzie odpowiadali na moim forum?

Hello, I also took escitalopram and only 6 months in "therapeutic" doses.
Do you have symptoms such as insomnia, (difficulty falling asleep, waking up at night and in the morning), do you have digestive difficulties, like your eyes.
In my case, this is permanent, 
Probably for You The most important are the answers of the mods because they say whether it is worth trying to restore, also I keep asking about it with my thread although I have answers...so no one answers me anymore either

 

2022 escitalopram od 25 lipca 2,5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg sierpień-grudzień- 7,5 mg, 5 mg, (1 miesiąc) 2,5 mg - C/T 
WD
2023 Krótkie przywrócenie z daty WD: 

escitalopram 25 maja – 12 czerwca 5 mg, 2,5 mg plus przerwa

Przywrócenie 24 07,23 0,5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0,22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0,28
Teraz 0,30 mg escitalopramu 

W zeszłym roku 6 miesięcy na escitalopramie byłem bardzo pobudzony, hipomaniakalny i nie potrzebowałem snu. 
Od lipca 2023 r. przywrócono i zmniejszono z 0,50 mg do 0,30 mg Lexapro – trudności w zasypianiu i brak snu, ból oczu i IBS. Anhedonia. 

Listopad 2023 - 0mg

Apr 2023 - worst reintroducing 0.25 mg-0.10mg escitalopram for 5 days and dropping it with terrible stomach effects if I had kept it probably wouldn't have happened 

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14 hours ago, Emma09 said:

The depression is so bad for me sometimes and lasts for long stretches that it seems ridiculous that it would need to last that long, it’s incredibly frustrating.

That makes sense! 💕 How long was your longest stretch of depression? It truly is awful

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

Link to comment
5 hours ago, modelarz71 said:

Do you have symptoms such as insomnia, (difficulty falling asleep, waking up at night and in the morning), do you have digestive difficulties

 Thankfully I’ve only had a few restless nights so far, but definitely more digestive issues. How is your diet? Why do you say permanent?

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Allison48 said:

 Thankfully I’ve only had a few restless nights so far, but definitely more digestive issues. How is your diet? Why do you say permanent?

Sorry but today I went out of the house and now I am writing back, besides thank you for your message
My diet is that I eat very little. Digestion has slowed down and I have a quick feeling of fullness and related discomfort.
It has been like this since April - May 2023 , then the big drug reinstatement caused this at 90% or it was a delayed WD at 10%....
I myself don't know what to do next I guess I will have to reinstate again but a small amount because I can't function like this crying all the time and I only took AD for 6 months
I don't know what to do next

 

2022 escitalopram od 25 lipca 2,5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg sierpień-grudzień- 7,5 mg, 5 mg, (1 miesiąc) 2,5 mg - C/T 
WD
2023 Krótkie przywrócenie z daty WD: 

escitalopram 25 maja – 12 czerwca 5 mg, 2,5 mg plus przerwa

Przywrócenie 24 07,23 0,5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0,22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0,28
Teraz 0,30 mg escitalopramu 

W zeszłym roku 6 miesięcy na escitalopramie byłem bardzo pobudzony, hipomaniakalny i nie potrzebowałem snu. 
Od lipca 2023 r. przywrócono i zmniejszono z 0,50 mg do 0,30 mg Lexapro – trudności w zasypianiu i brak snu, ból oczu i IBS. Anhedonia. 

Listopad 2023 - 0mg

Apr 2023 - worst reintroducing 0.25 mg-0.10mg escitalopram for 5 days and dropping it with terrible stomach effects if I had kept it probably wouldn't have happened 

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3 hours ago, modelarz71 said:

I myself don't know what to do next I guess I will have to reinstate again but a small amount because I can't function like this crying all the time and I only took AD for 6 months
I don't know what to do next


It sounds like you tapered too fast! None of this is permanent. Definitely look at the guidelines around tapering that this website has to offer! :)

2018-2020 Lexapro 10mg

2020-2023 Pristiq 50mg

February 2023 Pristiq 25mg

March 2023 Pristiq 0mg 

 

*fast taper due to extended release*

Link to comment
15 hours ago, Allison48 said:


It sounds like you tapered too fast! None of this is permanent. Definitely look at the guidelines around tapering that this website has to offer! :)

Good that your sleep is fine, what are your digestive problems?
How did lexapro work on you, were you euphoric ?
I did not know it was "drugs" and did not know about reducing 
I am afraid of going to the hospital . It's been a long time since I've taken escitalopram but it's bad because I'm severely depressed I even walk slowly and it's hard for me to do anything, I go to the store but I have a face like I'm in physical pain and everyone is looking at me , if I started crying in the store someone would call an ambulance right away

 

 

2022 escitalopram od 25 lipca 2,5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg sierpień-grudzień- 7,5 mg, 5 mg, (1 miesiąc) 2,5 mg - C/T 
WD
2023 Krótkie przywrócenie z daty WD: 

escitalopram 25 maja – 12 czerwca 5 mg, 2,5 mg plus przerwa

Przywrócenie 24 07,23 0,5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0,22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0,28
Teraz 0,30 mg escitalopramu 

W zeszłym roku 6 miesięcy na escitalopramie byłem bardzo pobudzony, hipomaniakalny i nie potrzebowałem snu. 
Od lipca 2023 r. przywrócono i zmniejszono z 0,50 mg do 0,30 mg Lexapro – trudności w zasypianiu i brak snu, ból oczu i IBS. Anhedonia. 

Listopad 2023 - 0mg

Apr 2023 - worst reintroducing 0.25 mg-0.10mg escitalopram for 5 days and dropping it with terrible stomach effects if I had kept it probably wouldn't have happened 

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On 3/5/2024 at 5:59 PM, Allison48 said:

 Thankfully I’ve only had a few restless nights so far, but definitely more digestive issues. How is your diet? Why do you say permanent?

About digestive issues

 

2022 escitalopram od 25 lipca 2,5 mg, 5 mg, 10 mg sierpień-grudzień- 7,5 mg, 5 mg, (1 miesiąc) 2,5 mg - C/T 
WD
2023 Krótkie przywrócenie z daty WD: 

escitalopram 25 maja – 12 czerwca 5 mg, 2,5 mg plus przerwa

Przywrócenie 24 07,23 0,5mg escitalopram, 18.08.23 0,22 escitalopram, 07.09. 0,28
Teraz 0,30 mg escitalopramu 

W zeszłym roku 6 miesięcy na escitalopramie byłem bardzo pobudzony, hipomaniakalny i nie potrzebowałem snu. 
Od lipca 2023 r. przywrócono i zmniejszono z 0,50 mg do 0,30 mg Lexapro – trudności w zasypianiu i brak snu, ból oczu i IBS. Anhedonia. 

Listopad 2023 - 0mg

Apr 2023 - worst reintroducing 0.25 mg-0.10mg escitalopram for 5 days and dropping it with terrible stomach effects if I had kept it probably wouldn't have happened 

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