Rob9H9: Evil Paxil

[Rob9H9]

Hello all. First time poster here. I have been a member for over a year but never had the nerve to post. I need help. Quick background: Was put on 20mg paxil and .5mg xanax per day around 2006. The xanax was switched to ativan probably around 2011ish. I quit the paxil and ativan c/t end of October 2020. January 2nd 2021 started having extreme unrelenting brain zaps, anxiety, fear, terror, palpitations, inability to sleep....just wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I had quit drinking January 1st and assumed it was that...but I was not that heavy of a drinker. I now believe this was my first experience of withdrawal. Around the 12th day of experiencing this I took 10mg of paxil out of sheer desperation. A couple of hours later it virtually stopped all of the worst symptoms. My nervous system was taxed. I was shaky...but somewhat alright. It took a month or so to feel myself. I stayed on the 10mg. Plus side...I was no longer taking the ativan. Fastforward to January 2023. I attempted to wean down further to 5mg. This was going fine all the way to September 27th when I stopped altogether...again. I could tell my brain was healing and I had plenty of mild symptoms...but I was ok. February 27th 2024...randomly had my heart rate go up to 140 bpm while sitting watching tv. Went to the ER...everything came back fine. "Must be my anxiety I thought". I should note that prior to meds my ocd/generalized anxiety/occasional panic disorder were not what they became ON the meds...hence my realization that they were doing no good if not increasing issues. Anyway...I felt a bit better but then had a root canal this past Monday March 25th. Within a few hours the unrelenting feelings were back like before (in 2021) but even worse. My heart rate was up around 120bpm or so just walking around...lightheaded, dizzy, odd sensations like sounds seemed too loud etc. This horrible sensation of something that begins in my chest like the worst panic sensations you can imagine. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I couldnt go for walks, my heart rate was scaring me. This has gone on for over a week. I relented and took @ 2.5mg of paxil yesterday and @2.5mg today about 24hr apart. There are other symptoms I was feeling but cant remember right now. Within 2 hours the feeling in the core of my body began to melt. It didnt go completely away but it became maybe 3/4 better. Im scared. Im trying...maybe the wrong way but trying. I want this gone. I want this drug gone. Im just trying to stabilize. I dont want to lose my job. My doctor is having heart tests done but doesnt believe its a heart issue. I also, for years...all of which are during the time from first c/t to now have had a feeling like Im not getting full breaths. Pulmonologist says nothing is wrong with my lungs except I smoke. He did a full pulmonary function test. Im just looking for support...a feeling like I can do this...like Im going to be ok eventually. A comradery with someone or someones who understand. I dont know how to effectively cope. Nothing at all seemed to help in the worst times...and I dont want it back. But...I want this drug gone. I want to heal. I want to move on. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads my story. There's more to it...but this is the most pertinent slice...for now. All help is appreciated.

-Rob

Edited April 4 by Emonda
Name to title

[Erimus]

Hello Rob, and welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. We are a peer support forum to assist in tapering off psychiatric drugs safely, or recovering from psychiatric drug withdrawal.

 

Your first task is to create a drug signature, with the following:

 

• All current medication you take, the dose you take, when you started the drug, and when you made dose changes
• All current supplements you take
• An accurate history of recent drugs, taken in the last 12-24 months
• Dates for recent should be written as 7 Oct 2023, or Oct 7 2023, or early Oct 2023, or mid Oct 2023
• A history of drugs taken 24 months ago and beyond - if applicable
• Dates for historical drugs can simply be listed as start and stop years
• Please do not use 07/10/23 // 10/07/23 as this is intepreted differently around the world

 

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. See my signature for example of clear and concise information.

 

• Click this link to edit your signature: Edit your signature here.

 

 

This topic is for anything relating to you, and any questions you have. Please do not start another topic.

 

We recommend tapering by no more than 10% of your CURRENT dose each month, to limit withdrawal symptoms. E.g. 10mg --> 9mg --> 8.1mg --> 7.29mg

 

All the answers you are looking for regarding tapering and antidepressant withdrawal are on this site. Please search around and continue to read as much as you can manage. Use the site search function to search for specific words or phrases, such as drugs or symptoms.

 

Here are a few of the most useful links:

 

Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ

 

Micro tapering

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Using a scale to weigh and measure doses

 

We only recommend two supplements. Omega 3 Fish Oil and Magnesium. Both should be introduced separately and increased slowly.

 

Regards

Erimus

[Erimus]

On 4/4/2024 at 12:03 AM, Rob9H9 said:

.I felt a bit better but then had a root canal this past Monday March 25th

It is likely the adrenaline or such they used during the procedure spiked your already sensitive nervous system. We have other members that have reported issues with the drugs used during dental procedures.

 

On 4/4/2024 at 12:03 AM, Rob9H9 said:

This has gone on for over a week. I relented and took @ 2.5mg of paxil yesterday and @2.5mg today about 24hr apart. There are other symptoms I was feeling but cant remember right now.

If I was you I would take 2.5mg for the foreseeable weeks and months. In order to succesfully taper off you need stability with your nervous system. Paxil is a very challenging drug to taper, for now your focus is on taking the same dose every day and seeing how your symptoms progress in the coming weeks.

 

Regards

Erimus

[Erimus]

On 4/4/2024 at 12:03 AM, Rob9H9 said:

I also, for years...all of which are during the time from first c/t to now have had a feeling like Im not getting full breaths.

Could be air hunger from the cold turkey episode years back. It's a common withdrawal symptom. Could also be exacerbated by your smoking habits.

Edited April 5 by Erimus

[Rob9H9]

I hate to admit it...but Im scared. The tachycardia worries me. I have been in the er twice due to it and the feelings of coarsing adrenaline that come with it. A short walk spikes my hr to 140-150. They do not see anything wrong in blood work or on ekg. Sceduled for echocardiogram and holter monitor but thats 3 weeks out. I havent been able to work since 2 weeks ago. My hr jumps to 120 when I stand up. I have always run a bit high but not like this. Its like my autonomic system is permanently out of wack. My stomach has been horribly upset, periodic spikes in panic and fear, I cant focus, tinnitus is way up, odd sensations, lack of appetite and Ive lost 5 pounds these past two weeks. Im terrified. The 2.5mg has taken away that horrible feeling at my core though...the feeling of the worst anxiety and pressure that was unbearable. 

[Rob9H9]

I wish I hadn't taken the paxil...but I was desperate. Im so very angry at myself for giving in, but it was an untenable situation. On a side note: I've been seemingly having minor troubles with memory since my first c/t...is this unusual as a wd symptom? I seem to remember seeing some other posts mentioning that?

[Rob9H9]

On 4/4/2024 at 7:10 PM, Erimus said:

It is likely the adrenaline or such they used during the procedure spiked your already sensitive nervous system. We have other members that have reported issues with the drugs used during dental procedures.

 

If I was you I would take 2.5mg for the foreseeable weeks and months. In order to succesfully taper off you need stability with your nervous system. Paxil is a very challenging drug to taper, for now your focus is on taking the same dose every day and seeing how your symptoms progress in the coming weeks.

 

Regards

Erimus

Does my going back on the 2.5mg mean that that 6 months off was all for nothing or did I heal some? Am I back at literal square one? I don't know what to think. Im still feeling wd symptoms, mostly intrusive thoughts and panicky feelings. Alot of it starts in the morning and subsides by bedtime. Tinnitus is up...but the heart rate is the most troubling...contributing to everything else through higher cortisol and my own anxiety about it. Echocardiogram was pushed up to today, so we'll see how that goes and the holter monitor is tomorrow. I suspect they will only show innapropriate tachycardia...but that gets me no where. We'll see. Wish me luck.

[Erimus]

5 hours ago, Rob9H9 said:

Does my going back on the 2.5mg mean that that 6 months off was all for nothing or did I heal some? Am I back at literal square one? I don't know what to think.

The nervous system will heal much quicker by re-introducing the drug it was struggling to function without, and then tapering off properly. Just think of it more as easing the burden on your brain and body.

 

5 hours ago, Rob9H9 said:

Alot of it starts in the morning and subsides by bedtime.

This is common, and is to do with hormone levels in the body. Cortisol level is highest at around 5am, which can spike a sensitised nervous system. It reaches it's lowest point in the evening before bed, hence why we often feel better then.

 

Your heart rate will settle down as you stabilise more. Try to be patient and kind with yourself over the coming weeks.

Edited April 8 by Erimus

[LostInCanada]

Hi @Rob9H9 Thanks for reaching out. 

I found when I started weighing pills, they all varied a bit in weight. I took about 20 and weighed them collectively, took that figure and divided by 20 to get a consistent mg to start with. For me, the 20 mg pill weighs 236.8 mg. (Each manufacturer is different. Always stick with the same manufacturer. Composition and drug strength varies and will affect a sensitive system.) So that weight meant 5 mg equals 59.2 mg on the scale. I use a pill cutter to divide the pill in 4. From there I use a one sided razor (maybe an exacto knife would work too) to slowly shave off powder to get to 52 mg on the scale, which is where I am at. 

Since you are working with a 10 mg pill, you would take the average weight and divide it in 4 to get the consistent weight for 2.5 mg moving forward. It is definitely a tiny amount to work with. I use tweezers. Since some pills will be less than the consistent weight you might not always get 4 cuts out of a pill. Is your doctor able to write you a prescription for more than you need to compensate for loss? My dr writes my prescription as if I am taking 10 mg.

Have you thought about crossing over to making your own liquid or doing a slow transition over to the manufactured liquid? We can't get the liquid form in Canada. 

Do you keep daily notes? I like to use a spreadsheet of symptoms and rate them 1-10. Have you seen anymore improvement?

[LostInCanada]

On 4/4/2024 at 4:45 PM, Rob9H9 said:

My stomach has been horribly upset, periodic spikes in panic and fear, I cant focus, tinnitus is way up, odd sensations, lack of appetite and Ive lost 5 pounds these past two weeks.

I found taking a chewable ginger tablet and ginger tea helped alot. I still take it daily. I also use chewable DGL tablets to settle the reflux my CT caused. Just 75mg twice a day.

Please avoid all Caffeine if possible - coffee, green tea, black tea, chocolate. You mentioned smoking which also affects the cns- is cutting down an option? Also no alcohol, CBD oil , weed, etc .

Some react to the nitrates in processed sandwich meats and bacon. MSG can also be problematic. 

Have you looked into a free online course for CBT? Also reading Claire Weekes book Hope and Help for Your Nerves had alot of insights for me. Most of all acceptance and kindness to yourself. 💯

[LostInCanada]

@Rob9H9 how have you been doing?

[Sebas]

These heartrate issues are very common paxil wd symptoms. My heartrate was also up for an extended period of time and it still does everytime due to withdrawal. Focus on not stressing too much about it, when you have tachycardia your body is telling you you are still recovering from withdrawal and hence your body and heart are working harder for physical stability. Don't expect too much from any echocardiogram. Like @Erimus said your heart rate will settle down as you stabilise more. Focus on stabilising and exercise at adjusted pace.

 

All the other symptoms such as tinnitus, stomach issues, memory issues, anxiety spikes etc. are also paxil wd. They will also subside eventually as long as you hold for a longer period.

 

Bye Sebas

[ShantyO7]

On 5/17/2024 at 11:46 AM, LostInCanada said:

chewable DGL tablets

Is there a certain brand you use?

[ShantyO7]

On 5/17/2024 at 11:46 AM, LostInCanada said:

chewable ginger tablet

Same here, certain brand you use?

[Rob9H9]

@ShantyO7 @Sebas @LostInCanada @Erimus

I know alot of people wonder this but I just don't know if this withdrawal or if something is deathly wrong with me. I apologize for not getting back to some folks on here but Ive been struggling. I am still at the 2.5mg Paxil since beginning of April. I thought symptoms improved a tiny bit a few weeks ago but they have been back with a vengeance for over a week now. I will get back on here in an hour or so to explain more. Just reaching out. So tired of this.

[Sebas]

11 hours ago, Rob9H9 said:

I thought symptoms improved a tiny bit a few weeks ago but they have been back with a vengeance for over a week now.

This is quite symptomatic for the non-lineair windows and waves pattern of withdrawal which is influenced by lots of lifestyle events, stressors, medication/medical treatment, flue, supplements and last but not least the things we daily consume in modern world where food has become nonbiological.

 

Improvements means recovery was taking place (and still is), backlash often means there is something that's upset(ting) your CNS, interrupting the course of stability, possibly something new you introduced which is conflicting with withdrawal. Evaluate for yourself if there's anything that has changed over the last week, then adjust en move forward again. Repeat this self-evaluation whenever you experience something is messing up the course of your withdrawal. 

 

There is nothing wrong with us, this medicine is just cruel in terms of side effects. 

[LostInCanada]

I always appreciate this video 

 

 

[Rob9H9]

4 hours ago, Sebas said:

 

4 hours ago, Sebas said:

This is quite symptomatic for the non-lineair windows and waves pattern of withdrawal

 

Are you saying this is unusual? Or that its the norm as far as the course of withdrawal ?

[Rob9H9]

I need to write more...and I need some help...but Im out the door to a dermatologist appointment. I need to sit down a bit later and chat with you all. Just struggling terribly...need some advice and reassurances etc. I feel so broken needing so much. I've always been the one giving help...that makes this even more difficult.

[LostInCanada]

3 minutes ago, Rob9H9 said:

Or that its the norm

I think it is pretty normal. It seems we need this window/wave pattern to heal. It is the body recalibrating. 👍

[Rob9H9]

1 minute ago, LostInCanada said:

I think it is pretty normal. It seems we need this window/wave pattern to heal. It is the body recalibrating. 👍

Im a 43 year old man verging on tears right now. The breathing difficulties since my first c/t, the memory problems, aches and pains, extreme untelenting anxiety/panic...health fears about so many things...icl high heart rate, erratic blood pressure. Ill go onto more detail later this evening. Im just struggling...as so many do. I have people who love me...but they dont understand. Ivsometimes wonder if its something other than withdrawal...or something happening at the same time. I havent posted much as of late but everyone on here is so helpful. I have so many questions...I just dont want to be a nuisance.

[LostInCanada]

It is so hard not to have health anxiety when going through this. Always get any serious concerns checked out. I know so many who have went for so many tests and found everything is normal. This is just so misunderstood. Paxil is such a bad one in these lower dosages. Just breathe and if you think lowering your dose would help...it might be an option 

[Catina7]

19 minutes ago, Rob9H9 said:

I just dont want to be a nuisance

 

No one is ever a "nuisance" here!  Please don't feel that way.  This is a safe space where we can communicate all our concerns and questions.  ❤️ 

[Rob9H9]

Im struggling so much with the high heart rate, erratic bp, the feeling like I cant breathe, aches in chest muscles for a couple of years, aching in groin, and a strange circular rash on my hip that has been there for a month. My cardiac tests so far show nothing major except constant tachycardia...almost like pots...except bp doesnt plummet. Structurally, theres nothing major...some age related things, some pvcs and pacs on holter monitor that im assuming are from withdrawal but nothing of real concern. Blood tests have been generally fine...although wbc is on the higher end of normal and my neutrophil count was slightly high and lymphocyte count a bit low. No one seemed concerned but I feel awful and of course google tells me these things can indicate lymphoma...so, well, of course with everything going on my anxiety shoots up even higher. The rash on my hip also has me considering lymphoma. Im not a doctor,  I just know that doctors haven't been kind or helpful the way we expect them to be. And my mind goes to wondering if my body could handle anything like that...the drugs...the antibiotics...the immune assault...my poor brain would fall apart. I believe, and I dont even like using the dreaded word,  that I have had a couple of bouts of akathisia...I dont know...but sometimes the untenable feeling if tangible fear that starts in my chest and wells up throughout my body feels like what Ive read....like I want to get out of my skin and get away. If thats what it is...then that makes me even more susceptible to other medications...things that can cause that. Im glooming and dooming, I know...but honestly, how could I cope if things went down that rabbit hole with disease, meds, sickness etc. I thought I was just trying to get off meds...but my ill feelings, some symptoms, and extreme anxiety have me dying. Probably not uncommon through this...but very difficult nonetheless. Also, I was having slight memory issues the last few years taking the original 20mg paxil and .5mg ativan(supposedly and hopefully a reversible side effect)...its become scary coming off the meds...I just feel so damaged. My above diatribe sounds so familiar to the many other stories I have read on this forum...and like so many the physical stuff has me worried...like the doctors just cant figure something out. I went through nursing school so I unfortunately have a background that allows my brain to wander through different diagnoses. Thats not really a good thing going through this. Whoever reads this...I can use all the encouragement, understanding and advice I can get...for the coming days, weeks, months, (years if need be). Thank you.

30 minutes ago, Catina7 said:

No one is ever a "nuisance" here!  Please don't feel that way.  This is a safe space where we can communicate all our concerns and questions

Thank you

 

35 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

It is so hard not to have health anxiety when going through this. Always get any serious concerns checked out. I know so many who have went for so many tests and found everything is normal. This is just so misunderstood. Paxil is such a bad one in these lower dosages. Just breathe and if you think lowering your dose would help...it might be an option 

I just dont know what is the right option. My above diatribe describes some of what Ive been going through. Scared to do anything different. 

[Rob9H9]

Good lord, I read back what I just wrote...and Im rambling today! Well, all of the stress and anxiety can do that I suppose. Again, thank you all.

[LostInCanada]

19 minutes ago, Rob9H9 said:

Good lord, I read back what I just wrote.

Honestly it summed up very well what I feel when dealing with anxiety. I think the majority of us on here have above average intelligence (hope that doesn't sound arrogant -not meant too) but I think that lends itself to an overactive imagination and overthinking everything. Hopefully holding will bring you some stability and relief.

[Schmeg82]

On 4/4/2024 at 7:45 PM, Rob9H9 said:

I hate to admit it...but Im scared. The tachycardia worries me. I have been in the er twice due to it and the feelings of coarsing adrenaline that come with it. A short walk spikes my hr to 140-150. They do not see anything wrong in blood work or on ekg. Sceduled for echocardiogram and holter monitor but thats 3 weeks out. I havent been able to work since 2 weeks ago. My hr jumps to 120 when I stand up. I have always run a bit high but not like this. Its like my autonomic system is permanently out of wack. My stomach has been horribly upset, periodic spikes in panic and fear, I cant focus, tinnitus is way up, odd sensations, lack of appetite and Ive lost 5 pounds these past two weeks. Im terrified. The 2.5mg has taken away that horrible feeling at my core though...the feeling of the worst anxiety and pressure that was unbearable. 

I had tachycardia BAD when my withdrawal symptoms started, I would be laying in bed watched my HR go up to 120 and I’m an athlete.  Mine would actually jump all over and go from 40 to 140 back to 60 to 90, I’d watch it on my Apple Watch it was wild.  I couldn’t even climb stairs without getting so out of Breath and my HR climbing way to high for me.  I even went and got an EKG and bloodwork as well, all normal.   That all subsided after I reinstated some thankfully, now I can walk my dogs and do chores without getting out of breathe.  Unfortunately now I’m just dizzy all the time.  My appetite comes and goes as well that’s pretty normal in withdrawal.  I’ve heard of people developing POTS or POTS like symptoms as well, it will all eventually go away in time.