SueBluQ:Finding myself after 21 years

[SueBluQ]

My name is Sue, I am based in Bristol England and I am almost 60. In 2002 I was attacked in my home and developed agoraphobia and started having panic attacks. My GP prescribed Citalopram and diazepam. I moved shortly after and my new doctor kept me on the citalopram but withdrew the diazepam. Over the coming months/years I became depressed and the answer was always a higher dose then eventually a switch of meds. This pattern repeated for 21 years with Paroxetine being the last drug. I successfully came off via tapering in Feb 2024. Since then I have more mental clarity/focus but have so many emotions and thoughts. I can't sleep, I have a constant headache, upset stomach, joint pain (I already have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia but wonder if it the meds), I can't cope with all the intense emotions. I can't remember who I was prior to the drugs.

[Erimus]

Hello Sue, and welcome to SurvivingAntidepressants. First of all, I am sorry for what led you to starting psychiatric medication. You will find a number of other members on the forum who suffered a traumatic event and were quickly ushered on to antidepressants and sent packing, this often leads to a medication cascade over the years, as doctors simply read your "diagnosis" and continue to prescribe. The depression you described is likely an adverse effect of long term antidepressant use, or the medication losing efficacy, in a process that we colloquially call "poopout" here.

 

In order for us to assist you further, I'd ask that you follow these instruction to create a drug signature:

 

Your first task is to create a drug signature, with the following:

 

• All current medication you take, the dose you take, when you started the drug, and when you made dose changes
• All current supplements you take
• An accurate history of recent drugs, taken in the last 12-24 months
• Dates for recent should be written as 7 Oct 2023, or Oct 7 2023, or early Oct 2023, or mid Oct 2023
• A history of drugs taken 24 months ago and beyond - if applicable
• Dates for historical drugs can simply be listed as start and stop years
• Please do not use 07/10/23 // 10/07/23 as this is intepreted differently around the world

 

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. See my signature for example of clear and concise information.

 

• Click this link to edit your signature: Edit your signature here.

 

It very much sounds like you are in acute withdrawal, which is no surprise given cessation after 20 years of use. Could I ask what your tapering programme was? How long did it take?