Abir - 2 months after antidepressants withdrawal

[lexicon]

I do hope you do too ..

I know about noise and smells. Does the 2.5 Mg helped you to where you found some relief.?

I am thinking to reinstate a small dose of Sertraline ..and wonder how you responded to it ..

Take good care Abir ..Thinking of you ..

[abir]

Not yet, I am still struggling with not sleeping and with feeling horrible but I am going to give it a couple more days and I am praying that I will be better by then because I don't know what to do next..I don't even know if it is too strong for me because I was able to sleep before reinstating (but I did make the mistake of taking 25 mg for 2 days and 12.5 mg for 1 day about 2 weeks ago I think that screwed everything up).. It is so hard to judge if it is the right dose because I slept well the 3rd night after taking the 2.5 and the night after slept for one hour I think

[Altostrata]

Your system still has to settle down from the 25mg. That was a big shock. It's a good sign that you've slept a bit.

 

It's too early to blame your symptoms on the 2.5mg.

[abir]

I hope so...thank you Altostrata

[abir]

Lexicon, how bad is your anxiety? Is it getting better? Mine started in February (3 months after stopping AD.. Before that it was just crying all the time, some depression, irritability... etc). In february it used to come and go...In march it got worse, almost everyday from 5am till after 3 was torture..breathing exercises were not helping at all...and along with the anxiety came lightheadedness, weakness, not being able to eat or sit or stand up straight or do anything... That is the reason I had to go back on AD... I hope you won't get to that point and your brain will find a balance soon...

If you decide to reinstate, try to find a compounding pharmacy so you won't have to make and measure the solution yourself when you are not feeling too well..it makes a huge difference

[abir]

I don't know if what i have been experiencing for the last 3 weeks (since that first 25mg zoloft) is also considered anxiety: I would sleep for half an hour at night then wake up a little nauseous, having cold and hot flashes, and feeling worse than before going to bed and of course feeling like my heart starts racing as I am falling asleep and waking me up.... Even during the day if I am feeling better and lie down and try to sleep, I end up feeling sicker instead of relaxed... It is like now the anxiety is less severe but it is all the time even at 10pm (instead of starting early morning like before) and it is made worse or even triggered by me attempting to sleep or relax!

[abir]

Altostrata, it was 4 nights ago when I was able to sleep.the last 3 nights I could not...I am worried because not sleeping can't be good for my brain...also even if I lowered the dose today it will still be sleepless nights until my body detects the change in dose... Don't know what to do and I am scared to take any sleep aid med

[abir]

The last 12.5/25mg I took was 2 weeks ago and I started on 2.5 this past Monday almost a week ago

[Altostrata]

Nobody likes not being able to sleep.

 

Those symptoms you describe sound like withdrawal symptoms, plus the upset from the 25mg. It will take some time for your nervous system to settle down from that.

 

Since you were doing a little better with a higher level of Zoloft in your bloodstream last week, it's possible 2.5mg is not enough to help the withdrawal symptoms. You might try 5mg for a week and see if it's better.

 

See this topic http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

[abir]

Oh I was thinking about reducing the dose...so you are thinking that the 2 nights when i slept better it was because of the combined effect from 2.5 and whatever is still left from the 25..I don't know I am still scared to increase the dose since my sleeping got this bad only after reinstating Zoloft so it seems that zoloft has a stimulating effect on me..even during the day I am surprised that I am not more sleepy in the afternoon...but again this does not explain why I slept better 5 nights ago... To be safe I will give the 2.5 a couple more days... Thank you so much for your advise and continuing support

[lexicon]

Hi Abir, my anxiety is constant, since waking up..It starts when I have the breathing problem .. My breathing is the trigger I think ..

My heart responds with the weird beats, and my stomach tenses up and hurts ..Abir, most of my problems are in my head... I have severe dizziness, which I had while on the AD'S, and it never went away... I have numbness in my head, fullness, and my head feels like being squeezed ..

I was concerned, because I have not seen anyone else complaining of suffering from head issues ..

My breathing is still a problem, both with my nose and chest ..

And I get depressed and cry, because of my situation. Abir this is my 3 rd month off AD 'S .. My doctor yanked them abruptly, and I pay the price with protracted withdrawals ..

How I wish to be able to take care of myself, without depending on others ..But it looks like my situation can last for 6months or longer according to Altostrata .. Because not everyone heals in the same time frame...

I wish that you get some relief tonight, and that you get to sleep soundly ..

God bless you, and hold you safely Abir ..

[abir]

Sorry for all your suffering lexicon... I did not experience the fullness in my head but it seems that we all share some symptoms but also have our individual symptoms... I hope it gets easier soon..thank you for the kind wishes and I wish you the same... I hope we all get over this soon...hang in there, you are not alone

[abir]

Altostrata, did what I said earlier about decreasing the dose make sense to you, I slept for maybe 1.5 hours last night and I am thinking of reducing the dose or should I wait more maybe if would be clearer to know what to do

[Altostrata]

Abir, please re-read my responses in this topic.

[abir]

Ok,I need to reread your comments as well as my notes from last week but when my brain is better-if I get more sleep tonight my brain should be better

[lexicon]

Hi Abir,

thinking of you, and praying that you are feeling better ..

Wishing you a good day Abir ..

[abir]

thank you lexicon, hoping and praying that you are feeling better too...

[abir]

i slept a little more last night - 2.5 or 3 hours, not sure... but last night, i was not able to sleep from my anxiety... it is a lot less milder than before reinstating zoloft but now it is all the time even at night, before it used to start early morning... altostrata, i think when you advised to reread your post you you were referring to when you said that i slept better on higher dose, right? sorry i am still very foggy and very weak but i will see how i feel tonight and tomorrow most likely i will increase the dose to 5mg

 

thanks altostrata and everyone for you help

[Altostrata]

Abir, please read all my posts in this topic. You have a tendency to ask the same questions over and over -- they've been answered.

[lexicon]

Abir, thinking of you ..how was your night? And how are you today? Don't ever lose hope Abir ..We are suffering now, but by all accounts things change and get better ..It just takes a bit of time ..So we need to hang in there...We are blessed to be on this site, , as this is a place with caring people ...They consistently come to our rescue ..

Thinking of you, and praying ..Lexicon

[abir]

Thank you so much lexicon for your encouraging words.. I did not sleep at all last night , and of course sleeping during the day is impossible, just feel worse after lying down and attempting to sleep. But I just took my first started taking 5mg Today and praying this will work....thanks again ...and how are you feeling?

[lexicon]

If laying down is impossible, have you tried propping yourself with pillows on a comfy chair.?

That works sometimes for me ..

Also, magnesium may help with the withdrawals .. But ask Alto about it...

If you try it, please do not do like me .. I got happy to find some help, that I chewed a 250 Mg tablet and ended up sick ..

Thinking of you ..I wish we could find you a way to get some sleep Abir ..

I hope this night is kind to you...Lexicon

[abir]

Yes alto already told me about magnesium and fish oil and now I am taking both, thank you... For me it seems that whenever my body relaxes, lying down or not, my anxiety comes back... But you are right I do find that I have to keep my head elevated and my upper body at the right temperature (not to get hot) so that my anxiety does not get worse...

Thanks again, j hope we both have a peaceful night tonight.. As well as everyone else on this site

[basildev]

Hi Abir,

 

I've been reading through your journey and I'd like to make some observations:

 

Firstly, any changes in dosage at this stage may produce unwanted symptoms, and this is not always a bad thing. This is because your CNS is destabilised and sensitive to every minute little change. So whatever you do, you must choose a dose and stick to that dose for enough time for the changes to take effect. Yes, it takes 4-5 days for the dosage to be integrated into your blood stream - but that does not mean that your symptoms will be constant. They may change with each day, sometimes with each hour.

 

Secondly, I notice that when you get a few hours of sleep you are encouraged - then the next night you don't sleep well, and your immediate response is to try to play around with your dose. This will only make things worse. What you are experiencing is windows and waves. This is your brain's way of recovering and it's a good sign.

 

Please read this excellent post on the subject below:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

Alto has suggested that you increase to 5mg. I suggest that's a good idea - but be prepared for the ups and downs! The only thing that will help you right now is time and patience.

[abir]

Thank you so much for your comments... It is true I am in a panicking mode... The last 2 months were really bad and I feel that I am getting even worse after reinstating the meds ( although the anxiety is different now) and I keep getting new symptoms like the insomnia, , feeling my upper body burning hot while my legs are freezing, making me wonder if my body is too unstable and beyond the period of safe drug reinstatement... Maybe it is the almost constant anxiety that is making me feel this way... But you are right, I need more time and patience and I should try harder to stop thinking that my brain is stuck in this messed up state... Believe me I am trying hard to feel that this is going to get better, it helps a lot when I hear your words and the other people on this site saying that it gets better.. Thanks again...

[abir]

i also need to update my signature and my story when i am better, i now know that i was wrong when i said that i was fine for the first 2 months after stopping the meds - this is misleading to others who are looking for people who are having similar experiences with withdrawal... i was having symptoms as soon as i stopped the meds (maybe even while tapering) like crying too much, being irritable, impatient, angry...etc but i did not know about withdrawal symptoms then and i was actually happy that i am experiencing those symptoms because i felt like the numbing effect of the meds was wearing off...

i stopped the meds at the end of october, novemeber was not too bad, i was able to handle the symptoms, december and january had period of really bad weeks where i would burst crying if someone asks what is the time, february is when the bad anxiety, nausea...etc started but it was not every single day, march was really bad, horrible anxiety every single day from 5 am until late afternoon... then, at the end of march i started taking meds again... sorry if i confused anyone who was looking for similar experiences...

[abir]

there is lots of info on this site...just learned about akathisia - it seems that this is kind of what i have been experiencing although mine is more like tingling and burning in legs and arms and inner restlessness more than physical restlessness...i in addition to the anxiety - if we can call this anxiety, i mean i feel it every minute of the day in my heart, chest, stomach.... i wish that i heard about antidepressants withdrawal before i stopped them and i wish that i found this site before my situation gots so bad, i mean it is hard to take advantage of the wealth of info on this site when i am struggling every minute with "anxiety"... thank you all for sharing your experiences and your knowledge!!

[basildev]

Hi Abir,

 

I updosed from 11mg to 20mg in February. I got much worse before I started to get better.

 

And I, too, experienced new symptoms which led me to believe that I was getting worse and that I should drop my dosage. Playing around with my dose only prolonged the agony.

 

I've been holding the same dose for 4.5 weeks now and have noticed improvements. Some days are better than others (windows and waves) but I am improving.

 

I believe you will too, once you choose a dose and stick to it for a good amount of time. Don't expect things to get better in a few days. It could take many months.

 

The panicking is part of the withdrawal - so the next time you feel the need to go down or up, just remind yourself that this is just a withdrawal symptom. It, too, will pass.

[abir]

Thank you so much for sharing.. It is just hard because more than 5 months have passed and I am still getting worse and new symptoms are appearing... Thanks again I should reread what you and other kind people have posted on my topic whenever I feel like my brain is not going to find its way back...

[lexicon]

Hi Abir,

I just entered the 4 th month since my doctor yanked the antidepressants,like a rug from under my feet ..

The severe symptoms you are going through I went through and still am to a very small lesser degree ..

The anxiety is here, and it feels like you say .. Chest, heart, stomach .. on going ..

My biggest problem is my breathing, and my head ..

Your breathing got better, and that is a blessing ..

My breathing is still causing me issues .. It feels like I will choke, and my chest feels sore ...And I have the horrible smells in my nose ..

my head feels like a hand is squeezing really hard, especially in the back ..

Vitamin C helps a little and also Omega 3 s ..

Please hang in there Abir ..A little by little the tide will turn and we will start to see improvement ..It may not be tomorrow, but it will, and we will heal ..

Wishing you a peaceful night ..Will say a prayer for you ..

[abir]

Thank you lexicon... I hope your breathing and head issues resolve really soon... As well as your anxiety... Yes it is true i no longer have breathing issues except as I am falling asleep (actually I am not sure if my breathing stops anymore as I am falling asleep, I only know for sure that my heart starts racing and then I wake up).. Yes we should keep on reminding ourselves that this hell we are going through will end, we will get better...can't wait until we post our stories in the success stories section I am having a break from anxiety/racing heart/restlessness/tightness in chest now (i get these small breaks every couple of days) i hope it will last for more than an hour hoping that you too are feeling peaceful and comfortable...

[abir]

I just remembered that I took an anticholinergic drug in January for 2.5weeks..it was for urinary frequency...I was suffering from withdrawal at that time but I did not know anything about that and that doctor appointment was booked few months before I stopped AD.. Anyways took that drug for only 2.5 weeks because it gave me extreme fatigue. Maybe a week after I stopped I started experiencing anxiety, although the anxiety was caused by AD withdrawal maybe that drug made things worse ...

[abir]

An update: since beginning of April I am either in bed or sitting on the sofa not really watching TV just waiting for the anxiety to get better or just waiting for time to pass since I can't do anything except wait... Too weak to talk . eating is hard... Feeling like a zombie still can't sleep... Not worried that I am so weak or that my brain is dead, I just want the anxiety to go away and want to sleep - sleep - still can't fall asleep and when I do, I wake up few minutes later from breathing issues or heart beating so hard...

[lexicon]

Abir I am so sad that you are having these troubles .. That is exactly where I am at.

Bed ...couch ..waiting ...waiting. ..-

I am sympathetic to this issue as I know it too well ..

I learned a breathing technique that seems to help me a bit with the anxiety and the heart ..Try breathing through your belly ..like babies do ..bypass the lungs ..You can do it laying down, or standing ...What is comfortable for you..I hope it helps .. .. Just relax and breathe ..

I hope you have a peaceful night Abir ..Lexicon

[abir]

Thank you lexicon... Yes I am constantly doing these breathing exercises...

Praying that we both get better soon...

 

In 2 days it will be 6 months since I stopped AD...so far, every month was tougher than the one before...and this month i reinstated AD it has been the hardest with new symptoms.. Let's keep reminding ourselves that people went through this and they got better...

 

Lex don't get discouraged because it is taking me so long, my symptoms were not as bad for the first 2 months so maybe my brain is slow...also I was on antidepressants for more than 17 years

[lexicon]

Abir, do not forget to be eating healthy. ..Greens, lots of water, someone said garlic ..

I am sorry you have suffered...I am going on the 4th month, without reinstating, and wondering if I made a mistake .

It was just that I developed a phobia about those medications, to where I would get ill thinking that I may have to put them in my system ever again ..I was sick while on them, and developed issues ..they never helped in any way, because I feel that they should not have been prescribed in the first place ..

Now I worry about tapering the Ativan..

That withdrawal is supposed to be worst than this ..

Please have a good night tonight ..have a peaceful, sleepy night ..

Thinking of you, and praying for our, and everyone who is hurting well being ..

Lexicon