LexAnger: tapering or no tapering, generic vs. name brand lexapro

[LexAnger]

Hi Poke,

 

Thank you for stopping by and sharing the good thoughts and your experience! They are very calming and helpful!

 

I used to hold longer for each cut, but recently I have to drop faster as immediately when the WD (various pain, pins and needles, dizziness, flu like, slight inner jittery etc.) started subsiding and livable (typical at 5 day from cut) the drug reaction (severe sedated, dreaming like, brain non functional etc.) would start which make it impossible to do any work for the job. I hope as the dose goes down I will be able to hold longer.

 

What do you do for relaxation? I don't do the usual typical meditation etc. instead I have been going to gym everyday except for days I'm bed ridden. Walking, sauna and swimming is my routine and has been my life line ever since I started tapering. It helps with all physical symptoms especially swimming. I feel immerse my body in the pool soothing the wrong electricity in my body.

 

I know you are very sensitive to most every supplement. I'm too, had severe bad reaction to pain killer and vitamin D so I stopped taking anything but the fish oil and OPC 3 which I have been taking all these years. I mention this is because I want to introduce OPC 3 to you for the cold you are getting lately. It sounds it's your weekend immune, while OPC is a pure natural antioxidant. You can google it for full information see if it's something you want to try.

 

I have been following your progress ever since I joined the forum and always consider you a success since somewhere last years when you started feeling lots better.

 

It's amazing you have been able to hold a job! My performance declined greatly in the past year or two mainly rely on teams to cover me up.

 

Hope you continuous and fast healing!

Lex

[Mort81]

Hey Lex stopping by to say keep putting one foot in front of the other ! your doing great ! Your life is gonna be wonderful down the road and this experience will just be a huge learning experience that you will benefit you , no matter how hard that is to believe. 

 

Mort

[LexAnger]

Oh, so dear of you Mort saying the very encouraging and kind words!

I definitely will follow your great example being strong and not I've in to the poison!

 

Hope you are recovered from the hit by the massage, and tapering PPI is moving smoothly!

Lex

[Mort81]

Thanks Lex! I think im close to or right about where I was before the massage. Ill be more careful going forward.

[grandmaD]

You are so right about how I used the meds in the first couple years! I probably CTed hundred times without knowing it. Even worse, I have been biting off the tablet randomly from 2009 through 2013 until I started the liquid, so my dose has been changing literally everyday!!! To be honest, I never thought about those much in understanding my situation..

 

God, I think you found the biggest issue I missed seeing for all these years! It's scary to imagine how much my system endured and amazing it's not completely destroupyed! Wow, it makes me hopeful actually thinking about the incredible surviving ability our brains possesses.

 

 I am more convinced now that my brain needs a long break to heal from the past truma before taking further challenges.

 

Lex

Hi Lex,

I have been trying to read through your journal... it is such a challenge isn't it...I find it so difficult reading about yet another innocent victim of this poison and it makes me so mad.  Then to read all the frustration, anxiety and emotional strain along with physical disability we go through every year for years and years.  I only read a bit at a time, as it seems to affect my anxiety levels, so hope you don't mind if I comment on your post from a while ago.

 

The big issue I see here is same as was for me - upping and downing doses, and because i kept going from full tablet to 1/4 repeatedly over years and years in an attempt to get off (what I was told was "not addictive") caused much damage to brain, so that when I finally began a super slow taper, I didn't wait long enough before I started to give my brain time to heal from all those years.  Not only that, but like you, I was only guessing what amounts I was having as I broke the tablet.

 

Like you, I stand in awe and amazement at what our brain/bodies have gone through and managed to survive!  At least that gives us some hope for the future!

 

I think all your comments above are very important, along with those lessons you learned!  Thanks for being a part of us all!  I wish you all the best on your continued journey.

[LexAnger]

Dear Grandma,

 

Thank you so much for taking time and making effort reading and commenting! Your kind support means so much and helps my journey great deal!

 

Yeah, it took me years struggling to accept and have a peace with the accident being on this deadly drug! I wanted to kick myself everyday thinking about it for years and still feel bitter nowadays whenever this comes to my mind. And the way I was taking it, I would never be able to imagine there is such a dangerous thing in the whole world that is supposedly safe guarded by FDA approval!

 

I always thought my case could be milder as I have been on lower doses, only now I realized the up and down dosing on daily basis for years probably tortured my brain the worst and why I'm so sensitive now with so many untypical symptoms.

 

Thee is nothing else I can do anymore but facing the music and live the life I got.

 

I'm very grateful to have people like you being so strong as a great model for me to follow and fight for life.

We will beat this monster, one day at a time.

 

Hugs,

Lex

[grandmaD]

An urgent update, I am in need of quick help again.

 

I have been holding for 100 days until today on 3.2. Severe symptom waves one after another since last hit and during the holding in the order of: severe needling pain, 'irregular heartbeat & severe weakness', 'mental non-functional & extreme fatigue & left side weakness'. While all these symptoms seem lessoning/stabilizing, I was almost knocked off this morning after taking the 1st drop of liquid (take the 3.2 solution over 2 hours with 10 min between each drop). It felt like I was injected with a powerful anesthetics plus something else altering the brain function, very hard to describe but felt also like an electric shock from head to toe, accompanied by immediate sick/weak/shaking sensation. My heart was beating loud and hard too.

 

This is a complete new experience ever, but I do feel in the past weeks that it takes my body lots effort to tolerate each drop. I would feel immediate brain non-functional after each drop. I have an urgent feeling that any day/moment I may have to be forced to CT.

 

My first question: is this a sign of WD tolerance?

And the 2nd question: in case I could not tolerate taking the drug any longer, what should I do, reducing or stopping CT?

 

My sincere appreciation to any thoughts.

Lex

I am continuing to read your thread and am horrified by your experiences!  Who needs to read horror stories when you can come on here and read what real people experience in real life! 

 

Oh my goodness, what you have been through, it is incredible.  Just about everything in life has answers, but in this situation we have lots of questions and no real answers!  Thank God we do have some wisdom here and much support and help along the way!  Otherwise people like you and I would still be cutting down, up-dosing, over and over STILL or else CT and in a worse situation (though I'm not sure you could be any worse than you are now!)  did you ever consider to do a CT?

 

I can't wait to see what direction you took, but my time on computer is so limited as it makes the head vibrations go high.  Catch you again in a couple of days, so hang in there!

[grandmaD]

Dear Grandma,

 

Thank you so much for taking time and making effort reading and commenting! Your kind support means so much and helps my journey great deal!

 

Yeah, it took me years struggling to accept and have a peace with the accident being on this deadly drug! I wanted to kick myself everyday thinking about it for years and still feel bitter nowadays whenever this comes to my mind. And the way I was taking it, I would never be able to imagine there is such a dangerous thing in the whole world that is supposedly safe guarded by FDA approval!

 

I always thought my case could be milder as I have been on lower doses, only now I realized the up and down dosing on daily basis for years probably tortured my brain the worst and why I'm so sensitive now with so many untypical symptoms.

 

Thee is nothing else I can do anymore but facing the music and live the life I got.

 

I'm very grateful to have people like you being so strong as a great model for me to follow and fight for life.

We will beat this monster, one day at a time.

 

Hugs,

Lex

I just saw your response, thank you.  It is so frustrating not being able to do something and help others.  I wish I could just bring instant relief to everyone!  In the meantime, I can just follow your story and let you know I care and pray for you.  I cannot follow many people, but I can do what I can.

 

I wonder if any of us can get over the bitterness that caused us to trust in Drs. and be led down this path.  All we can do is keep on forgiving them and especially to forgive ourselves and know we have learnt a valuable lesson.  I cannot believe they still prescribe these drugs either, but you know what, there are people out there who demand them!

 

Yes, you are right, it is one day at a time, sometimes one hour and sometimes a few minutes at a time.  We cannot let it beat us!

[LexAnger]

Grandma,

 

My heartfelt gratitude to you trying so hard supporting me while on the most torturing journey yourself!

 

The sudden reaction to Lexapro since the late last year has been a mystery until yesterday, when suddenly I remembered one day in August 2015, I lost some liquid from a loose syringe during my 2 hour dosing. I then guessed I must have missed about 1 mg of the liquid so I added it back to the daily dose. I remember I was like in a complete coma later that day realizing I must have took too much.

 

I was doing pretty good surprisingly the next day (now I know its because the reinstate effect) resuming my normal dose. about 10 days or so had almost a normal week which is nothing expectable/explainable giving what I have been going through prior for a year). Soon after that, I started to experience a whole new world of symptoms which worsened over the time and gradually developed into the severe reaction as described in the post you quoted above.

 

Now I got the answer to that math: one day over dose (30%) changed my brain's wiring. This now makes sense as it very much consistent with what others reinstate lex has experienced.

 

wow, thank you for bringing this up again and made my brain click.

 

So I know now even with more assurance, that increasing dose is what I should never do, period.

 

OMG, Grandma, I just realized you are on Lexapro too (never know esipram is same as Lex), now wonder I found lots your symptoms are so similar which I always think unique to lex! I will read more carefully about your thread with this new knowledge.

[grandmaD]

Hi LA, just to clarify, I am not on Lexapro.  Aropax/paxil.  I was put on Lexapro back in 2009 when with doctor no. 4 I tried to find a solution to my suffering as I tried to cut down on my own.  Her solution was to switch to Endep which was disastrous and then Lexapro and then Esipram until I decided it was "better the devil I know than the one I don't know," and moved on to doctor no. 5.  I am now with doctor no. 6, the first one who agreed to allow me to taper slowly off this stuff.

 

How are you doing now?  I am off to read a bit more of your horror story! lol

[LexAnger]

thanks for clarifying, Grandma!

I am glad you are not on Lexapro, a true and worst evil among all, even the rest are terrible too. Paxil is half of the Lexapro in potency.

 

The fight against the two evils (WD and Reaction) is getting harder and harder as immediately when I feel a bit lift from WD (4th day from 1%cut), the reaction would show its multiple heads which requires another cut to even out. The cycle got shorter and shorter and I don't get any break between the 2 races, suffering 3 days pure killing pain followed by burning/BBQing and brain non-functional, body paralyzing, and DR for couple days until I could not stand the complete sedation and cut again.

 

Only thing helped me continuing to today is the lessoning symptoms in evening for most days when I can regain energy, hope and catch up with some basic routines.

 

I felt many times before, that I was losing the ground, now I feel I am losing the whole universe. Giving up all is a constant thought feeling every cell in me has been tortured way too much and for too long and I simply have no more strength to go through more of this . I am also losing hope seeing some of the survivors being hit again after year's stabilization.

 

I am sorry for a very negative update. I don't think it is DRUG making me think this way, my logic is still clear and I don't even have anxiety or depression. Its just the torture breaking me up.

 

At the same time, I know I have no other options. I have to hold on for longer for loved ones who can't handle the tragedy.

 

Hope you are having better days and hear more good news from everyone!

[grandmaD]

I am sorry you are suffering so badly.  It is like this and I know the dreaded feeling of feeling trapped between being hell and keep going to get off or other option is to stay on the poison, which is not an option for me.

 

Can you clarify what kind of taper you are doing?  Is it a 10% one which is what they recommend.  How often do you taper?  I think 6 to 8 weeks is the recommended time.

 

The first week of my drop usually is a good week, with improvements,but then I get worse for the next week and even worse the next week and worse when it peaks at around weeks 3,4 and 5 and then it starts to improve at weeks 6 and 7 and by week 8 I am not to bad (never get to feeling good or normal, just better than the very worst!)

 

Do you journal your symptoms each day so you can keep a track of them?

 

I am still thinking you are paying for all the up and down dosing you did trying to get off yourself (just like I did) and perhaps, like myself,you didn't give yourself time to stabilise before starting to taper and then, again, like myself tapered too fast to begin with.  I started with a 10% taper which lasted 4 months before I crashed and then I went to a 5% and couldn't handle that and then did a 2.5% taper. 

 

If you cannot cope, you can always do smaller cuts and hold for longer.  Fear not!  Be determined and confident and stay strong! 

[grandmaD]

 

burning/BBQing and brain non-functional, body paralyzing, and DR for couple days until I could not stand the complete sedation and cut again.

Is this similar to the prickling/burning sensation I get?  If so, I know how torturous this is!  Is it localised or all over your body?  Where you get paralyzing?

Is DR you mean de-realisation?  I can relate to that also, but looking back, found I got used to it over time! 

Only thing helped me continuing to today is the lessoning symptoms in evening for most days when I can regain energy, hope and catch up with some basic routines.

Thanks goodness for that.  You have to change your whole way of thinking and tackling housework and chores and that too, is hard.  Just do what you can do and leave the rest - but not easy to live with cobwebs and so on!

I felt many times before, that I was losing the ground, now I feel I am losing the whole universe. Giving up all is a constant thought feeling every cell in me has been tortured way too much and for too long and I simply have no more strength to go through more of this . I am also losing hope seeing some of the survivors being hit again after year's stabilization.

I think this is very normal, to believe you are losing it.  My life has not been worth living for so long - not a life at all, very debilitating and disabling.  What kept me going?  I am very, very sad to say it was because of a beautiful lady I met when I first joined another site who was very helpful for me - but the drug got the better of her and she committed suicide.  This was A HUGE LESSON FOR ME and I determined ever since then, not to let it get the better of me in that way.  I might have those thoughts, but I determine to not act on them.

It is the fact we have NO HOPE that causes the discouragement, disappointment and despair.  I have no answer for that, you cannot just whip up HOPE, but I do know for sure that the hopelessness is a big part of the suffering.  Just realise it is the effect of the w/d on the brain.

If you find that reading about other people getting worse and so on, it is a good idea to take a break from the site for a while and read something more up-lifting and encouraging for a bit. 

I am sorry for a very negative update. I don't think it is DRUG making me think this way, my logic is still clear and I don't even have anxiety or depression. Its just the torture breaking me up.

No worry - you have to be honest and real with yourself.  I would have to say thought that I do believe IT IS THE DRUG making you feel this way.  I felt hopelessness and despair for 4.5 years until this year when I started having good days where my head felt like I was normal and the world actually looked GOOD!  This was rather weird, I must admit.  Then the next day It would like gloomy again and I would feel down.  It was only then I realised it IS THE DRUG.  At last, I can get thru those yucky days, knowing that better ones will return again and it is not me but is w/d.  This had been an enormous turning point for me.  Also, I believe now that I have been depressed for 4.5 years and I would have argued that I WAS NOT DEPRESSED during that time!  I really don't think we know for sure how we are!  There are days I think I am thinking clearly, but do something totally stupid and realise I am not!

At the same time, I know I have no other options. I have to hold on for longer for loved ones who can't handle the tragedy.

Most definitely!  You can do this - hang in there! 

 

 

[LexAnger]

Thank you so very much Grandma for taking time and supporting by your kindest and great experience and advice!

 

burning/BBQing and brain non-functional, body paralyzing, and DR for couple days until I could not stand the complete sedation and cut again.

Is this similar to the prickling/burning sensation I get?  If so, I know how torturous this is!  Is it localised or all over your body?  Where you get paralyzing?

Is DR you mean de-realisation?  I can relate to that also, but looking back, found I got used to it over time! 

 

I think they are similar, but more snuggling feeling inside not as sharp as the prickling which I also got on different days. it is allover everywhere from mid-back up of the entire me. paralyzing is always on the entire left side head to toe, difficult to talk, move, type, do things etc as it feels dead or extremely weak that they don't listen to you. Yes, by DR I meant derealization.

 

 

Only thing helped me continuing to today is the lessoning symptoms in evening for most days when I can regain energy, hope and catch up with some basic routines.

Thanks goodness for that.  You have to change your whole way of thinking and tackling housework and chores and that too, is hard.  Just do what you can do and leave the rest - but not easy to live with cobwebs and so on!

I felt many times before, that I was losing the ground, now I feel I am losing the whole universe. Giving up all is a constant thought feeling every cell in me has been tortured way too much and for too long and I simply have no more strength to go through more of this . I am also losing hope seeing some of the survivors being hit again after year's stabilization.

I think this is very normal, to believe you are losing it.  My life has not been worth living for so long - not a life at all, very debilitating and disabling.  What kept me going?  I am very, very sad to say it was because of a beautiful lady I met when I first joined another site who was very helpful for me - but the drug got the better of her and she committed suicide.  This was A HUGE LESSON FOR ME and I determined ever since then, not to let it get the better of me in that way.  I might have those thoughts, but I determine to not act on them.

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, and sad for another life being destroyed by these most horrible thing in the whole universe! It happened to me too a friend I made here on the forum took her life only after we got to know each other for 6 months!

It is the fact we have NO HOPE that causes the discouragement, disappointment and despair.  I have no answer for that, you cannot just whip up HOPE, but I do know for sure that the hopelessness is a big part of the suffering.  Just realise it is the effect of the w/d on the brain.

If you find that reading about other people getting worse and so on, it is a good idea to take a break from the site for a while and read something more up-lifting and encouraging for a bit. 

 

This is a great idea! I think I have been very obsessed checking on here for the past few years feeling desparate. I found when I was not feeling too bad, like in a wondow, I tend to spend less time here.

 

I am sorry for a very negative update. I don't think it is DRUG making me think this way, my logic is still clear and I don't even have anxiety or depression. Its just the torture breaking me up.

No worry - you have to be honest and real with yourself.  I would have to say thought that I do believe IT IS THE DRUG making you feel this way.  I felt hopelessness and despair for 4.5 years until this year when I started having good days where my head felt like I was normal and the world actually looked GOOD!  This was rather weird, I must admit.  Then the next day It would like gloomy again and I would feel down.  It was only then I realised it IS THE DRUG.  At last, I can get thru those yucky days, knowing that better ones will return again and it is not me but is w/d.  This had been an enormous turning point for me.  Also, I believe now that I have been depressed for 4.5 years and I would have argued that I WAS NOT DEPRESSED during that time!  I really don't think we know for sure how we are!  There are days I think I am thinking clearly, but do something totally stupid and realise I am not!

 

I am so happy for you that the universe eventually making the right turn and you can have some good days feeling normal!! This is so critical not only for the days you feel better but also provides hope and faith to continue! Yeah, I think you are right, even I feel my logic is not under the influence of drug, it could actually be. Strange as it sounds, whenever I feel normal, even just for an hour, those thoughts would be gone completely and I would think life and future forgetting about the whole tragedy.

 

At the same time, I know I have no other options. I have to hold on for longer for loved ones who can't handle the tragedy.

Most definitely!  You can do this - hang in there! 

 

I will try my best and hang in and check on you periodically. I am so grateful I have you and others as companies on this most difficult journey. Knowing you are there being strong and moving forward not giving up keeps me going too.

 

Love to you, and lots hugs!

[AmyK]

Lex, I just read your last posts. How are you doing, dear friend? Life is worth living, it will be even better once we are drug free and more able to heal. How is micro tapering going?

Just want to send encouraging hugs and thoughts!

Amy

[LexAnger]

Dear AmyK,

 

Thank you so much for checking on me!

I have been trying all my strength pushing through each day, continuing dancing between WD and drug reaction by cutting doses.

 

I'm at 2.4mg now, cutting whenever I feel the drug reaction is too much. I dropped from 3.2 to 2.4mg in 3 months which is about 25% cumulative. I have been dropping 0.03 mg holding for 7-9 days until the most recent drop which I was able to hold for 2 weeks without too strong drug reaction. I feel the WD is catching up a lot lately mainly with severe needling pain, deep bone pain, back pain, and general sickness. So I hope I can slow down as much as possible for future tapering.

 

Drug reaction symptoms are very disabling like a dead person both physically and mentally but not as torturous as the Wd symptoms with killing pain. If I don't have to maintain the minimal requirement by my job, I can bear with the reaction symptoms just lying in bed doing nothing, but I have to keep my job ( working from home most days just reading and sending emails) as I'm single. Each time I drop the tiny dose, my brain would be functional for a few days when I try to get done as much as I can.

 

I just did another cut yesterday with half of the usual dose, 1/2 of the 0.03mg. I already felt today the sedation is lifted and my brain is working even the needling pain is ramped up again. So incredible!

 

PS. A few days ago, I tried a supplement for immune strength which also has vitamin B and D added, had severe reaction with tons of pain and other strange symptoms. So now I'm so sure I'm done with all types of things except for most plain food.

[Andalusian]

I know what you mean about the drug reaction verses the wdls. I couldn't work out for the longest time that it was the drug making me feel bad. Your micro tapers are inspiring me. I dropped 10% 2 weeks ago but wonder if it was too big. I think after reading your post I'll try a 5% drop.

So glad to read that you are dancing between wdl and drug reaction and keeping on pushing through. Keep going so I can read your success story one day! Peace and love to you.

[AmyK]

Lex, it really is incredible what the drugs do to us. It's so exhausting to always have to consider how one feel and try to get through. I think you are doing so well keeping up with your work and wd dance. Work is also a kind of distraction. I think I actually felt better when I had a job (that I could handle) and could put my mind on other things for a while.

For every drop you get closer to zero, remember that. You are not far away. Everything will get better.

I dont take supplements either. I tried magnesium once, but had some kund of heightened anxiety. It's just easier to have one pill to think about. I try to eat healthy instead.

Sending healing thoughts from the other side of the globe!

 

Amy

[AmyK]

Lex, how are you today? Thinking about you. Hugs!

[LexAnger]

Dear AmyK,

 

Thank you so much for your kindest care and thoughts!

I'm sorry I have been silent lately as I don't know what to say anymore.

 

I have been struggling since the new year trying to balance the WD and sudden drug resistance by rather fast tapering (down from 3.2 mg to 2.3mg ) against my will so to lesson the severe drug reaction. It kind of allowed me dangling around for about 5 months or so, then suddenly the drug reaction got too severe and serious yesterday with complete lack of conciseness all day long feeling a real 911 case even I know ever since tapering that I won't make the call regardless how deadly I feel. Anyway. So I reduced 2 more drop last night in hope of lessening the drug reaction. This morning I woke up with a full blow of panic attack which was controlled after couple drops of the liquid, then another day of complete lack of conciseness during the whole day dosing drop by drop.

 

So I have been searching up and down to prepare the switch to Prozac ( old idea but never dared to do ) and got the liquid Prozac as a backup. The idea of switching really scares me and I'm over killing myself thinking all the possible risks.

 

I feel I'm really stuck. It seems my tapering is out paced by the drug reaction but the same time the fast dose reduction is putting me into more severe WD that I can't handle.

 

I still don't understand this concept though how it possible one can have these two completely opposite effects from the same drug. I hope I am not wrong thinking that my body can't take more of the lexapro. Is it possible the drug reaction ( coma like after each tiny drop ) is actually just part of WD?

 

I never read anyone else had similar experience.

[AmyK]

Oh, Lex. I am so sorry this is so hard for you. What dose are you on now? Can you update your signature?

When you write "coma like after each drop", do you mean after each dose?

I hope some mods can help here, I dont feel enough qualified. Hang in there, Lex!

[LexAnger]

Hi AmyK, I am at 2.2 mg as of today. It tried to cut one drop (0.033 mg) in the past months holding 7-9 days and now it seems I can only hold for 4 days otherwise the drug reaction/resistance gets too strong.

 

I have been taking the liquid over 13 hours everyday with one drop every 30 minutes. The coma like is after each drop. The reaction always lessons in evening so my drops in evening are bigger.

 

I just updated my signature for the recent change

[KarenB]

Hold on lovely Lex - we're having a look, mulling it over... one of us will write more soon.  Till then, hugs.

 

Karen

x

[LexAnger]

Oh Dear Karen,

 

I am so grateful hearing your rescue!

I am afraid I reached the point to cold turkey.

 

 

This morning I felt a bit better than yesterday with slight sense of conciseness, was thinking hopeful things are getting better. By noon after I finish 0.2mg my brain started feeling dead and me losing awareness about almost everything. SO I took 2 hour break and finally regained some brain energy. I resumed the dosing taking 0.1 mg every ~60 min finished 0.5 mg by 4:30pm. Each drop put me into complete confusion and total brain dead (cant come up with a single word/sentence out of my mind, paralyzed left side). 

 

I will hold off further dosing until late evening. I found the reaction is much less during evening doses. Even the bad day yesterday I was feeling much better after 9pm all the way into midnight when I finished all the liquid.

 

Also, today is my 3rd day since the last cut (2 drops). The drug reaction used to get less 3-4 days from each cut ( 1 drop) and return with full force 7-8 days from the cut. That was why I used to cut 1 drop and hold for ~7 days. It seems this time even 2 drops is not enough. I will see how things go this evening, I may drop again tonight.

 

I also started preparing for family leave at the least (I don't have hope to qualify for disability).

 

 

After lots reading about Prozac, I am leaning NOT to switch.

especially after I read this article:

 

http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/12/04/why-antidepressants-stop-working-solutions/#comment-124760

 

 

Best,

Lex

[Altostrata]

Lex, did you sign up for long-term disability coverage from your employer? If it is available to you, I would sign up for it. (Also long-term care insurance, to use after retirement; it's very hard to get when you're not working.)

 

I wish I knew what to suggest for you. You've been coping remarkably between a rock and a hard place for a long time.. Prozac is milder than Lexapro, a rough equivalent to 2.2mg Lexapro would be maybe 5mg Prozac, but I would try 1mg to start. Another option is amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant that is milder than Prozac; Dr. Healy has suggested this switch.

[LexAnger]

Hi Alto,

 

I can't express enough my heartfelt gratitude to your speedy attention and help every time I'm in despar!

I do have both short and long term disability insurance through my employment, but the policy specifically states that drug additiction is excluded, and measurable tests are required. I don't know how I can obtain any of these. The pchychtrist I talked to last time is willing to work with the possibility but I have no clue how we can make it a solid case.

 

Do you think it's better to stop lexapro all together or I should try to continue taper as slow as possible to make it a milder CT. I will follow your suggestion to add 1mg Prozac some point. And I will look into amitriptyline too.

 

Kindest regards,

Lex

[Altostrata]

You would not be considered addicted to a drug, unless you have an opiate habit you haven't told us about.

 

California state disability requires a doctor's certification. Your employer's plans probably allow for psychiatric disability. It's unlikely a doctor would certify you on any grounds other than psychiatric, unless they know how to write up an adverse drug event argument.

 

I don't know what to suggest. You'll have to judge the best path for you based on your understanding of your body. The options:

• Keep Lexapro dosage the same.
• Increase Lexapro.
• Decrease Lexapro.
• Quit Lexapro.
• Switch to Prozac.
• Switch to amitriptyline.
• Other???

It seems to me the first two are out, and I don't know what Other??? might be -- anything, I suppose. There are a lot of psychiatrists who might yank you off Lexapro and put you on an antipsychotic to "calm" your nervous system. I don't know how well this would work.

 

If you choose a switch, what I would do is 3-4 days overlap between Prozac or amitriptyline and Lexapro, then off Lexapro, you're having such problems with it. But if you have an immediate bad reaction to the drug overlap, you may have to back off -- or just go off Lexapro and on to the substitute. It could take some time to stabilize after the switch.

 

I'm sorry, you'll have to make your best guess. I think preparing for a period when you're not able to work is a good idea, but it might not be so bad and it might not be very long.

[LexAnger]

Thank you Alto again so very much!

 

No, this is the only med/drug I am ever exposed to.

 

I will do my part based on all the great information and thoughtful advice you provided.

 

I will update as I move along.

 

Best regards,

Lex

[mammaP]

I just wanted to pop in and leave you the biggest squishiest Mamma hug, you have coped so well with this while suffering so badly. I wish I could make it better for you, I would in a heartbeat. I hope you can find something  that helps you through this.  

[bubble]

Dear Lex, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you, said a little prayer yesterday and sending you positive thoughts.

 

Try to consult with somebody about disability. As Alto says what we have is not officially clasified as an addiction but 'psychiatric disorder'. It might mean you would have to be labelled anxious and depressed or something like that. I wish there was somebody who could take care of you or at least be with you so that you don't have to be on your own...

 

Let us know how you are doing. Maybe it stabilises again.

 

Big hugs.

[AmyK]

Whatever you choose Lex, you will come through this. Sending healing thoughts and hugs!

[LexAnger]

Thank you all so much my dear friends. I'm in tears with the overwhelming care and support!

You are my only source of help. Having family/ friends involved only make matter more confusing and stressful giving the extreme complicated situation. I live alone and my son is not far away and I do have friend around in case of extreme need.

 

I feel such a coward every time thinking about the switch. I'm always like that dare not to make a move for changes until being pushed to the very dead corner. Guess now it's the time and have to bite the bullet.

 

Love you all,

Lex

[LexAnger]

Hi Alto,

 

I'm trying to layout the exact schedule for the switch.

Can you explain the reason for a lower dose of Prozac instead of equivalent dose? Dose that mean expected WD in terms of serotonin level?

 

 

Thanks,

Lex

[Altostrata]

Given your odd reaction to Lexapro, I would be careful about the overlap and take a minimal amount of Prozac. The effect might be additive. You can increase the Prozac if you wish when you are off Lexapro.

 

It takes about 4 days for a psychiatric drug to reach steady-state in your bloodstream. On the second day, you will have more Prozac in your system than on the first day. On the third day, you will have more Prozac in your system than on the second day. You may feel an increasing effect of the Prozac over the 3 days.

 

On the fourth day, you'll be more or less at full-strength Prozac. The Prozac may provide a safety net if you don't take Lexapro on the fourth day. That's the theory, anyway.

 

As you are quite sensitive, anything might happen in the switch, I'm sorry to say. (It might even be a relief.) You need to decide if the risk is worth getting off Lexapro finally.

 

Be sure to do this at a time when you won't be working: A vacation or long weekend, for example.

[LexAnger]

Hi Alto,

 

Thank you so much for staying up this late to respond and guide me with the detaine rational and scheme!

 

I am good now for a solid plan if I eventually get the gut to do it.

 

reading wildly these couple days, I learne Prozac is the most activating Ssri, somehow I have a great inner fear about this drug. You mentioned Celexa before as an option. I feel much more comfortable about Celexa even Prozac is the most commonly recommended bridging drug for future taper consideration. I wonder if I will have the same reaction to Celexa as its very similar to lexapro?

 

God I'm so sorry Being so indecisive about this change.

[Altostrata]

In your case, Celexa could be a good substitute for Lexapro. It also comes in a liquid.