schizor Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I used to be very happy and funny guy who loved dancing and enjoyed going out with friends until one night I got drunk and someone put drugs in my drinks.I still dont know what that drug was but I felt like my legs were burning and I became very agressive and delusional.I got locked up for trying to brake into a house and send into a mental hospital. I was forced to take zyprexa for 3 months and after that zoloft for 2 months. Since then I lost all feelings and emotions. For all I mean: fear, love, hate, envy,everithing.I've Lost all my friends. No desire to live, I feel like an empty shell. Complete lack of creativity, lack of social skills Lack of empathy, lack of motivation and a sense of accomplishment. 5 months ago I stopped taking zyprexa but I have no improvement and Im beginning to think that my brain is permanently damaged by these drugs. Is there any hope that my brain will recover? 1 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted July 2, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 2, 2014 Hello Schizor and welcome to SA! I'm really sorry you are going through this but you have been on these drugs for much shorter time than most of us so I fully believe you will recover. It just takes time and I would say, refraining from taking any psychoactive substances in an attempt to speed up that recovery. Most of us here are familiar with this painful loss of feeling, emotional numbness and it even has a name: anhedonia. It is a common withdrawal symptom associated with taking and then abruptly stopping psychotropic medication, But fortunately our brains are very resilient and they do recover provided we don't disturb them and shock them further. Here is the link to a thread where members discussed that topic: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2873-anhedonia-apathy-demotivation/?hl=anhedonia It always helps me to know I'm not alone in suffering from a certain symptom and get a tip or two on how to ease that suffering. It would be useful for us to be able to give you more suggestions to put your drug history in your signature as described here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/ I would say Zyprexa is not the only culprit here so it would be good to know what dosages you were taking and when you stopped Zoloft. So much for now You will find a lot of friendly support here on your way to recovery. It just takes times, patience and refraining to get things fixed asap with more drugs or even supplements. The only supplements we found safe when your nervous system gets sensitized by medication is omega 3 and magnesium. You may want to study threads about them because you have to take a certain dose of EPA and DHA for it to be effective. (2,000-3,000 mg EPA + DHA a day.) http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ best, bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 2, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 2, 2014 Hi Schizor, It saddens me to read about what you have been through, I'm sorry you are still suffering. Is there any hope that my brain will recover? I agree with Bubble and think that you will eventually recover. Some things can help, like making sure you have a good diet, getting some regular exercise, relaxation and sleep. Have a look through our symptoms and self care section for some ideas of how to manage symptoms while you are healing: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/ You will find a lot of help and support here as you get better. Petu. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
acetyl Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 We will recover, I'm sure of it. I know it's scary because unlike benzos and anti-depressants, it's very hard to find success stories for recovering from antipsychotics. I'm a similar story, 6 months on an antipsychotic and am only seeing slithers of improvement now at 5 months off. I think it just takes a good deal of time as antipsychotics mess up practically every neurotransmitter system in the brain (serotonin, dopamine, histamine, adrenergic, muscarinic), so it is a big, big mess for your brain to try and clean up. Past use of Pritiq, Escitalopram, Lithium and Valproate. All ceased with no withdrawal experienced. 07/2013- Started 10mg Asenapine (Saphris) an AAP 01/2014- Given 2 week taper by doc 02/2014- Experienced absolutely excruciating anxiety and insomnia 02/2014- Tried reinstating at 5mg but had akathisia attack that hospitalised me 03/2014- Prescribed Doxepin and then Mirtazapine and Diazapam for 'agitated depression' 04/2014 - New Psychiatrist. Willing to empower me to get drug free. Started 50mg Chlorpromazine as an alternative to reinstating Asenapine. Rapidly tapered off the Doxepin and Mirtazapine. Currently: 45mg Chlorpromazine, 2.5mg Diazapam. Supplements: Fish oil, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Magnesium Link to comment
schizor Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Its like my personality is completely gone.I cant remember who I was before the drugs.How is this even possible?? 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted July 2, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 2, 2014 Hi Schizor, I agree with what the others have said, that you will heal but it takes time. It is especially sad for you because it all started when your drink was spiked, that must have been an awful experience and very frightening to be taken to a mental hospital and forced to take drugs, which in my opinion is bad because you already had been affected by an unknown substance! You will get better, and will get your personality back. What you are describing sounds like depersonalisation, you can read about that here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1766-derealizationdepersonalization/ Have a good look around, you will find a lot of helpful information that will help you to understand what is happening to you. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
schizor Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 http://www.mindfreedom.org/kb/psychiatric-drugs/antipsychotics/neuroleptic-brain-damage/shrinking-brain/ this is bad 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
acetyl Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Don't give it too much weighting, there's a number of subjective issues in that study. 1. It involved chronic exposure (1.5 - 3 years) to an anti-psychotic. You personally were only on Zyprexa for 3 months. 2. The dosages they titrated up to would have been beyond what you were taking - 15mg Zyprexa and 30mg of haloperidol (which is massive, clinically the max dose of haloperidol is around 2-3mg). They try to justify the larger doses by saying the primates are faster metabolizers of the drug and therefore need more to maintain an equivalent plasma level, but I still think this somewhat debunks the efficacy of the study. 3. They measured a number of brain areas, the majority in which a statistically significant difference in brain volume/weight was not found. Only in 2 areas were statistically significant differences found and it is these that the study honed in on. 4. It is acknowledged in the discussion that changes in neuronal numbers have not been observed in postmortem studies of humans chronically treated with antipsychotics, and only a small decrease (~2%) in total brain volume has been recorded. 5. They acknowledge some limitation in over/under-projection due to the statistical methods used to calculate brain volume. 6. They are cutting up monkey brains with a scalpel and weighing them. How accurate can you truly be in correctly defining the boundaries of specific brain regions and cutting them out? We do however acknowledge that all psychoactive drugs cause neurological changes that are probably well beyond simple up/down regulation of receptors. It is possible that cell volumes, cell projections (axons, dendrites), do change following exposure to these drugs. And it is precisely the undoing of these changes that is our recovery and return to normalcy. So even if it is the case that we have suffered some 'pruning' of our brains due to these drugs, there is no reason to believe it is permanent. There are similar studies to this one demonstrating brain shrinkage in chronic benzodiazepine users, however there are 100's of success stories on BB demonstrating complete recovery of individuals from these drugs. To be honest, don't dread too much on this. If all you are feeling is emotionally flat-lined and some cognitive impairment, then I don't believe any major neuronal changes have occurred and you will make a full recovery. A number of us who were on anti-psychotics are experiencing hellish withdrawals, complete neurological melt-downs, coupled with extremely persistent insomnia. If you are still able to work/study and live a relatively normal life, then please just be really grateful about that and try to let the whole notion of being in withdrawal or neurologically damaged just slip to the back of your mind. Past use of Pritiq, Escitalopram, Lithium and Valproate. All ceased with no withdrawal experienced. 07/2013- Started 10mg Asenapine (Saphris) an AAP 01/2014- Given 2 week taper by doc 02/2014- Experienced absolutely excruciating anxiety and insomnia 02/2014- Tried reinstating at 5mg but had akathisia attack that hospitalised me 03/2014- Prescribed Doxepin and then Mirtazapine and Diazapam for 'agitated depression' 04/2014 - New Psychiatrist. Willing to empower me to get drug free. Started 50mg Chlorpromazine as an alternative to reinstating Asenapine. Rapidly tapered off the Doxepin and Mirtazapine. Currently: 45mg Chlorpromazine, 2.5mg Diazapam. Supplements: Fish oil, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Magnesium Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted July 3, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 3, 2014 Don't give it too much weighting, there's a number of subjective issues in that study. To be honest, don't dread too much on this. If all you are feeling is emotionally flat-lined and some cognitive impairment, then I don't believe any major neuronal changes have occurred and you will make a full recovery. A number of us who were on anti-psychotics are experiencing hellish withdrawals, complete neurological melt-downs, coupled with extremely persistent insomnia. If you are still able to work/study and live a relatively normal life, then please just be really grateful about that and try to let the whole notion of being in withdrawal or neurologically damaged just slip to the back of your mind. Great post Acetyl! Thank you on behalf of Schizor and everyone. Yes, as Alto often says, we can find on the internet a study that will support almost any claim we want. But it doesn't mean they are true. We have also found that negative thinking and negative programming doesn't really help us. It is actually part of the whole package that we are experiencing at the moment: being apprehensive and fearing the worst. So it's actually a symptom that we have to deal with just like any other symptom: become aware of it, see it for what it is and then consciously decide not to fall for the tricks our disturbed CNS is playing with us. Ultimately, it's a matter of choice: are we going to read "disaster" stories or success stories. We can find plenty of both and it's up to us what we will choose. There's no doubt that maintaining a positive outlook will help the healing process so the choice is kind of obvious Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted July 3, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 3, 2014 Another very helpful concept that helped me a lot to deal with my symptoms and especially disturbing thoughts was that of neuroemotions: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/137-neuro-emotion/ Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
celexahell Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I know exactly how you feel. Citalopram has absolutely destroyed my personality. I miss who I used to be. I miss the intense empathy and other essential feelings and emotions I used to feel. I can only hope that we will recover in time. Link to comment
schizor Posted July 6, 2014 Author Share Posted July 6, 2014 I cant take this anymore.My parents are going to force me to go to a psychiatrist if I dont get better in 1 month.More pills? Great! I would rather kill myself. 1 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 6, 2014 Administrator Share Posted July 6, 2014 Welcome, schizor. How did you feel when you were on Zoloft? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
schizor Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 I felt and still feel like a walking zombie.My personality is completely destroyed and I dont have any emotions. 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted July 7, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hi schizor, Welcome to the group! You sound like a younger guy, that usually is a good thing as far as getting back to a good state of mind. It seems to be more difficult as we age. I'm very sorry this happened to you but don't lose hope! I believe you will recover! http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
PwrThrashinDeth Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hey man I had to register just to post because of how similar our stories are. Rather than getting my drink drugged I smoked some questionable weed which sent me into a drug induced psychosis, I was taken to the mental hospital and put on Risperdal. I was on it from mid November to mid January, about 2 months. I too turned into an emotionless, joyless, shell of who I was as soon as I started taking the Risperdal. I tried going on Wellbutrin from around the end of May to the end of June, but it was no help and had to be discontinued due to insomnia. I too thought I lost everything and would never be myself again, which is completely unacceptable for me, it just isn't worth living life feeling like that. I'm nowhere near 100% recovered, not even remotely close, but lately things have been starting to look up. I've been having windows where I feel glimpes of emotion and my old self returning, so I believe I will recover in time and so will you, don't lose hope! Suffered acute drug induced psychosis early Nov 2013 Risperdal: 4mg mid Nov - Mid Dec, 3mg Mid Dec - Late Dec, 2mg Late Dec - Early Jan, 1mg Early Jan - Mid Jan Wellbutrin: 150mg 5/25/14 - 6/23/14 Trazodone: 100mg as needed 5/25/14 - 6/23/14 Current symptoms: anhedonia, emotional blunting Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 7, 2014 Administrator Share Posted July 7, 2014 Some people have an immediate bad reaction to recreational drugs, too, recovery from which can last a long time. Add psychiatric drugs on top of that, and you get a nervous system that's in a real tizzy. Please take care of yourself and treat your nervous system gently, like it was a kitten. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
schizor Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 I dont know what to do anymore, if I dont get better I will be forced to take antidepressants.Is there some supplement I could take to improve my condition.I cant live like this anymore.. 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
celexahell Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Seriously, how the **** is this possible? Link to comment
schizor Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 why would it be unpossible celexahell? 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted July 9, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 9, 2014 I am sorry you are going through this Schizor, it is a nightmare for you but Things will get better. If you had been knocked down by a car that night instead Of having your drink spiked, you would have had injuries that could take years To heal. You would get through it but go through normal emotions in the process. Questioning WHY is normal and anger / fear are normal. your nervous system has been injured, it is invisible but no less devastating than Physical injuries. The important thing to remember is that it WILL heal. Many here find magnesium very helpful, and fish oil. I found a massive improvement With them. There are threads on both and lots of other suggestions in the Symptoms and self care forum. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
schizor Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 update: no change at all and Im begining to lose hope that I will recover back to myself... 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Hello Schizor. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about what happened to you. I stopped zoloft in march too. I wish I could take it away for you. It's early days but I am sure you will heal. It may go on longer than you think you can bear but keep walking through, one moment at a time. Each day is one day closer. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted July 20, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 20, 2014 I'm really sorry that things are still so very hard for you. I'm feeling very good at the moment but I know many. many weeks and months when I was going through life like an automaton, like somebody switched me off. And I couldn't imagine that I would ever again come back. But I did. It just took so much time and endurance. And hope. I firmly believed things must stop because nothing lasts forever and I believed that therapy was going to unlock me. In the meantime I just continued from one moment to the next, from one day to the next trying to be around positive people, trying to do things although I didn't feel like doing them and that gradually started the engine again. It is so, so hard but I have no doubt in my mind that you will do it. As Winning Through said, every day is bringing you closer to the exit. You might not feel it but it is happening. Please keep us posted. Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 20, 2014 Administrator Share Posted July 20, 2014 Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, seehttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
PwrThrashinDeth Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm telling you dude, I'd highly reccomend trying at least a couple acupuncture sessions. It sounds stupid, but I noticed a little improvement in my emotional blunting the night after my first treatment. Suffered acute drug induced psychosis early Nov 2013 Risperdal: 4mg mid Nov - Mid Dec, 3mg Mid Dec - Late Dec, 2mg Late Dec - Early Jan, 1mg Early Jan - Mid Jan Wellbutrin: 150mg 5/25/14 - 6/23/14 Trazodone: 100mg as needed 5/25/14 - 6/23/14 Current symptoms: anhedonia, emotional blunting Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted July 22, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 22, 2014 Many of us have felt without hope at times. We have often also felt that things would never improve etc. but they did. Try some of the suggestions above (start slow/go gently/listen to your body/record your symptoms) You have a community here travelling with you and holding onto hope for you I believe things will turn for you Take care Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 24, 2014 Administrator Share Posted July 24, 2014 schizor, the emotional anesthesia will very, very gradually go away. It's difficult to recover from cold turkey, give yourself the chance. In other news, I am getting e-mail from your e-mail address that has no content. Please stop responding to your personal message alerts in e-mail. These come to me. When you get an e-mail alert, go to your personal message box on SurvivingAntidepressants.org (click on the little envelope next to your name at the top of every page) and respond. Thank you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 24, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 24, 2014 Hello schizor, How are you feeling today? Do let us know how you are. Did you look at the links Alto posted. Fish oil and magnesium have been helpful for many people. Petu. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
schizor Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 yes, I will soon start to take magnesium and fish oil.Im getting worse these days,every night I have these strange awful nightmares and when I wake up Im seriously considering suicide 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 25, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 25, 2014 From looking at your signature, I think it was March this year that you stopped taking zoloft. That was only 4 months ago. Many people are still having symptoms at 4 months, but then start to feel better and make complete recoveries. You weren't on these drugs very long, you will recover. I know that its difficult right now, I'm in a similar situation, with bad symptoms and practically no life. I wake up every morning feeling terrible and like I can't take another day, but I know recovery is going to happen one day. I went through a stage of having nightmares every night, but they stopped. This is temporary, you will get your feelings back, at first it will be little moments here and there, you will notice a feeling you haven't felt in a while, and that will be the start of them coming back completely. Another member theelt713 came here about a year ago, she was tapering zoloft, feeling numb, with no emotions and was scared she would never be able to feel again. In her latest post, she is living her life again, and even though she is not completely recovered yet, she is feeling more of her feelings, from her latest post: "I found two four leaf clovers this week, and it was absolutely beautiful. I have never found those before in my life! It was a marvel to find not only once, but twice. I treasured the rarities and saved them both in a Ziploc bag. .... .....I had periods of feeling moderately good and letting the wind blow through my hair. I felt...kind of strongly today. I don't know how to describe it. You know when you can just feel something? I felt myself wanting to know the answers to certain things a bit more strongly than usual, than I had the anxiety today, then I had periods of feeling slightly good as songs were playing, and then nostalgia. " Here a link to her thread if you want to read more: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4213-theelt712-tapering-off-zoloft/ I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
schizor Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 Im reading that piracetam might help the brain damage. What do you guys think about that? 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 25, 2014 Administrator Share Posted July 25, 2014 Please supply a link. If you're reading this as chit-chat in a forum somewhere, take it with a huge grain of salt. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 26, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 26, 2014 I had never heard of it, but did some research. I would also be interested to see where people have had good results with it. I couldn't find anything about it helping with drug withdrawal symptoms. There is some evidence showing that it helps with various NS and brain related conditions. But doctors mainly prescribe it for Myoclonus, (twitches, jerks) Piracetam (2-oxo-1-pyrrolidine-acetamide) is the parent compound of the racetams class of nootropic drugs that is a cyclic derivative of gamma-aminobutyric acid. It has extensive applications but is predominantly known for its cognitive enhancing effects. Conflicting reports remain about piracetam. Otherwise healthy individuals seeking cognitive benefits generally agree that piracetam lives up to its reputation of promoting mental and cognitive acuity. Fighting the aging process, reducing long term repercussions of alcoholism, and notable relief from depression and anxiety related to cognitive functions, have all been reported. However, there is not enough sufficient empirical evidence to validate these claims This article also states: "Neuronal Effects: Piracetam’s affect other neurotransmitter systems as well, including the serotoninergic, noradrenergic, and glutamatergic systems. Its wide raging effects on neurotransmitter system are not a result from agonism or antagonism. Rather, it increases the number of postsynaptic receptors and restores their ability to function." There is no way of knowing if this is actually true, it also doesn't state what kind of effects it has. Read more: http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showwiki.php?title=Piracetam#ixzz38XzYfg8O Piracetam's mechanism of action, as with racetams in general, is not fully understood. The drug influences neuronal and vascular functions and influences cognitive function without acting as a sedative or stimulant.... Some sources suggest that piracetam's overall effect on lowering depression and anxiety is higher than improving memory. However, depression is reported to be an occasional adverse effect of piracetam. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piracetam drugs.com classes it as a central stimulant and a nootropic agent I don't know if anyone else has tried this, I've had a lot of disappointments and increased symptoms from trying various supplements. But if you decide to try it, please start with a very small dose because any drug or supplement can have a paradoxical effect when the nervous system is sensitized by withdrawal, and do let us know how it goes. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
schizor Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 I have lost all hope http://www.jimstonefreelance.com/testimony1.html 9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa, 1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia .. .... 01/2015 recovered, my old self is back 06/2015 better and stronger person manic episode and total relapse Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 26, 2014 Administrator Share Posted July 26, 2014 Great. Keep on looking for discouraging information on the Web and you'll find it. People think this site is scary, you're looking for ways to top it. And you'll find them. Look around you, read some of the other Intro topics. You will see people recovering all the time. If you want to believe you're doomed or if you want to believe you'll recover, you are writing your own script. As Henry Ford said: "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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