The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[Belajazi]

3 hours ago, PortugueseSea said:

I am on a wave too, it is like we are synched lol. Indeed, to be honest, I have stopped looking for reasons for waves beyond the obvious. Like, on Friday I drank a little bit of tea, it could have been that but who knows.

I just practice acceptance and surrender.

Keep walking guys! Happy Easter!

@PortugueseSea So sorry to hear that. PortugueseSea can just slight tea can ramp up aka?? One more thing does pacing is link with terror?? 

In whole two months i had just two windows of few hours. 

[Onmyway]

Yes @missy27, I am back at it, that beautiful one day of calm has gone and I am on edge again but the funny thing is how much it impacts my worldview. When I am in a window the same problem seems simple and surmountable whereas when I am stuck in a wave it's life and death. 

[missy27]

17 minutes ago, Onmyway said:

Yes @missy27, I am back at it, that beautiful one day of calm has gone and I am on edge again but the funny thing is how much it impacts my worldview. When I am in a window the same problem seems simple and surmountable whereas when I am stuck in a wave it's life and death. 

I can completely relate. Ive been in a wave for 2 months. I get a small window now and then and its bliss. The depression is debilitating at times. Life is so much easier to navigate in a window, i try so hard to have that same mentality in a wave. So now im just trying to accept and surrender as well. Easier said then done. Im right there with you. 

[Believer]

@Onmyway, and @missy27,

I agree. Which ever spot your currently in, window or wave, is your reality at that moment. It’s hard not to let long waves suck the hope out of you. Then you get a window and you wonder how the wave could have been so bad and things could have seemed so insurmountable just a day ago. Back and forth. But we can hold to hope, we’ve seen many before us go through the same thing until they get to the other side. I think I may always struggle with patience and acceptance on this journey, but I am learning, and believe this intense learning will serve me well some day.

[missy27]

9 minutes ago, Believer said:

@Onmyway, and @missy27,

I agree. Which ever spot your currently in, window or wave, is your reality at that moment. It’s hard not to let long waves suck the hope out of you. Then you get a window and you wonder how the wave could have been so bad and things could have seemed so insurmountable just a day ago. Back and forth. But we can hold to hope, we’ve seen many before us go through the same thing until they get to the other side. I think I may always struggle with patience and acceptance on this journey, but I am learning, and believe this intense learning will serve me well some day.

Beautifully said. Thank you for this.

[Swordfish]

I just want to chime in and say that I am feeling the exact same way. It really is interesting how much your worldview can shift depending on if you're in a window or a wave. I just experienced a good window that actually lasted like a week or two and I thought I was healed and couldn't believe I had felt so bad the past year. Then one day bam, back at it with all the symptoms hardly able to function. One day at a time...

[Kathrine]

@OnmywayThanks for sharing. I was just searching the forum for the word "anger" because I cannot believe how much anger suddenly pops up and then just passes. It is worst in the morning (with the morning cortisol spike, my theory is?!), but some days I am fine, some days I am not. 

I got an ADHD diagnosis, but that was on top of serotenergic syndrome (diagnosed as bipolar of course, and just upped the dose of Sertraline), and then Seroquel on top until I got "dementia" = ADHD-like symptoms... The fact that I got that diagnosis keeps me thinking that my waves are ADHD related, but then I read posts like yours, and I think: Grrrr! I don't know if it is withdrawal, post withdrawal or ADHD, but I am SOOOOOO agitated, and my head keeps coming up with stuff I can be mad about until it just ... doesn't anymore. Also, I just have these "holes" in my memory, and I struggle to focus on everyday stuff like getting out the door, and I keep wanting to blame myself or beliving that it is ADHD so I can just medicated myself out of it (old thought habits die hard, I guess). I wish there was a deadline on withdrawal/protracted and post withdrawal etc. I wish I could sort of what my "original symptoms" are, which ones are WD and which ones are diagnoses (if any), and which ones are just being a human beingI am so frustrated!!!

[persistente]

After 6 years of constant waves and windows I can also only conclude that it is not possible to avoid it. I try to accept it but in waves I can not feel this way.

[jon1]

3 hours ago, Kathrine said:

@OnmywayThanks for sharing. I was just searching the forum for the word "anger" because I cannot believe how much anger suddenly pops up and then just passes. It is worst in the morning (with the morning cortisol spike, my theory is?!), but some days I am fine, some days I am not. 

 

The anger sucks!

 

Out of all the symptoms it's the one I struggle with the most, because it's the most difficult to 'keep inside'.

 

When I'm anxious or depressed, and I can keep to myself, or at least not affect those around me.

 

But when going through a wave of anger, and everything and everyone around is annoying, and triggers it, it's really hard. I lock myself away from people as much as possible.

[Kathrine]

@jon1 Exactly! I really want to stay away from people when I am angry. That's the only way, I know it won't "rub off" on someone. And I keep acting on it because in the moment I think "Well, this IS something to be angry about", but then afterwards I can see that yes, it was fine to react, but I overreacted because I was angry before the situation occurred... 

I wonder if it is worth going off of all the drugs if this is my new life for years and years to come? On the other hand, I get my stupid side effects like PSSD and shallow breathing back as soon as I reinstate a small amount of the drug, so I guess it is one thing or the other... 😞

[jon1]

1 minute ago, Kathrine said:

@jon1 Exactly! I really want to stay away from people when I am angry. That's the only way, I know it won't "rub off" on someone. And I keep acting on it because in the moment I think "Well, this IS something to be angry about", but then afterwards I can see that yes, it was fine to react, but I overreacted because I was angry before the situation occurred... 

I wonder if it is worth going off of all the drugs if this is my new life for years and years to come? On the other hand, I get my stupid side effects like PSSD and shallow breathing back as soon as I reinstate a small amount of the drug, so I guess it is one thing or the other... 😞

 

It always feels to me like it's an 'untethered' anger, that's looking around to find something to be angry about. An emotion in search of a trigger.

 

If it helps, it does get better. I still get times of irrational anger, but they're far less frequent and intense than they were at the beginning.

[member21]

36 minutes ago, Kathrine said:

I wonder if it is worth going off of all the drugs if this is my new life for years and years to come? 

This is exactly what I think/feel when I see all the PWS posts.

[PortugueseSea]

On 3/31/2024 at 11:09 PM, Belajazi said:

So sorry to hear that. PortugueseSea can just slight tea can ramp up aka?? One more thing does pacing is link with terror?? 

For me, anything stimulant can ramp it up; caffeine is a big no no, so is sugar if taken without eating anything else beforehand.

Pacing is linked with increased levels of agitation, terror may or may not be present.

 

1 hour ago, Kathrine said:

I wonder if it is worth going off of all the drugs if this is my new life for years and years to come?

It took me over a year to accept this. I have made my peace with this. I have a 3 year old and another on the way. I can live through this for them, through God's grace.
It is a hard pill to swallow, the syndrome does get better over time though.

[Belajazi]

59 minutes ago, PortugueseSea said:

Pacing is linked with increased levels of agitation, terror may or may not be present.

 

 

@PortugueseSea i had both types.

When i was on high dose then i had extreme Unbreable internal agitation

Now at low dose agitation is not present but now i have extreme level terror. 

[Ashpashley23]

What if we have yet to experience any windows? What if we don’t follow this pattern?

 

I’m getting toward 14 months off all meds and have not had any windows yet, nor have any symptoms fallen off yet. 
 

Anyone else not have windows and still healed?

[Kathrine]

@Ashpashley23

 

 

I am so sorry to hear that! That sounds so hard!

I don't have the experience to say anything meaningful here. Only, have you tried reinstating just a very, very small dose of the thing that you found most addictive?

Maybe it is bad advice, and so you should ask a moderator here, but I went off Sertraline in January and thought my withdrawal symptoms were linked to my present Seroquel taper. Then I realized that I had protracted and delayed withdrawal from Sertraline all the other times I tried to come off it. I had the symptoms for moths and months on end until I let a doctor diagnose me with depression and put me back on a full dose of Sertraline 😞 This time, I am not risking that so I went back on 1 mg of Sertraline, and it helped a lot! No more waves of extreme anxiety and sudden suicidal ideation. The side effects are back too, and I am tapering slowly down to 0,5 mg, I think, hoping that just giving my brain and body an "it's all right, the drug is still here"-message will be enough while, hoping, the PGAD and shallow breathing and unrest and constant feeling of being hungry might lessen when down at 0,5 mg...

I don't know if that makes sense, but I really didn't want to reinstate, but for me it was the right thing to do for a while, as I have to work and be a mom etc., so life kinda made the decision for me...

I hope you'll feel better soon no matter what you do!

[Kathrine]

6 hours ago, PortugueseSea said:

For me, anything stimulant can ramp it up; caffeine is a big no no, so is sugar if taken without eating anything else beforehand.

Pacing is linked with increased levels of agitation, terror may or may not be present.

 

It took me over a year to accept this. I have made my peace with this. I have a 3 year old and another on the way. I can live through this for them, through God's grace.
It is a hard pill to swallow, the syndrome does get better over time though.

Thank you, you give me hope. And hey, way to go on top of a toddler and a baby on the way. 

[Kathrine]

7 hours ago, jon1 said:

 

It always feels to me like it's an 'untethered' anger, that's looking around to find something to be angry about. An emotion in search of a trigger.

 

If it helps, it does get better. I still get times of irrational anger, but they're far less frequent and intense than they were at the beginning.

Thanks for your reply! That gave me hope too. My anger is improving compared to a month ago, I see that now. I think, I just need to keep not doubting if it is something else than the withdrawal - I need to trust it is withdrawal to not react to it by blaming myself and wanting to find out what's wrong with me, or to not react to other people. It helps to know that it seems common in this community. 

[Onmyway]

I think the reason why anger is the most troublesome emotion is because we have been taught to be scared by it - sometimes rightly so because it can lead to the rupture of relationships, conflict and, at times, even violence. In this vein I find that with WD induced anger we are dealing with two beasts, the anger itself and our own suppression and fear of it. Many of us have also lived in unequal relationships where we have felt powerless and that the world is unfair without being able to give expression to this anger. These feelings further turbocharge current anger. 

 

I find that like all emotion WD just amplifies many times the underlying emotion and is what makes WD anger and reactions so scary. And sometimes situations that could have been dealt with calmly even with the anger can escalate more quickly. 

Having said that, because of WD anger I sued an insurance company and won. Threatened my landlord with a lawsuit and got what I needed. I would have let both of those infarctions go had I not had the WD anger. But at the same time, I would have been probably better off without both. 

 

I also like the earlier comment that often WD anger exists without an immediate cause and keeps looking for one. That on edge feeling mixed with anger has caused me some troubles!

 

 

[Kathrine]

Thank you @Onmyway for the clever input! 

I think you are right. I know I have sometimes gone to see my psychiatrist to get her to give me more of a sedative/Seroquel so I could easily dose off at night instead of dealing with e.g. a fight that I should have had with my husband. So, the anger has definitely build up due to me saying "I'll let it go" which ended up meaning "I'll let it build inside me thinking I can just deal with it later or let it go". I am blaming myself for this, but also, seriously, psychiatrists... they should've asked me about real life and not just symptoms that are suppose to be some biological trait inside my brain?! (But I guess, I don't need to tell the rest of you in here that...).

You are kinda lucky with the way your justice system works. We can hardly ever sue anyone in Scandinavia due to a bonus pater familias principle. 😄 So, I cannot get my anger out that way. I have however realised that I am kinda "fighting the world" every chance I get right now like making a principal case out of a parking fine etc.

I am looking for a way to get the anger out my body in a good way. I want to sit down and just write (cause I am a writer), but for financial reasons I have to apply for jobs every day right now and until I have a "regular job", so I can't just sit and write, and I can't write a little bit 'cause I get caught up in the anger and what I am writing. 

Anyways, maybe it sounds like a real first world problem... 

For now, your word stroke a chord with me because I have tried to just accept the anger – and actually kinda translate it for myself into "pain" instead as that makes me accept that there is just pain in my body and my mind right now. I'll try to get back to that way of thinking again, I think, and I will try and accept that this IS a part of WD, not ADHD or underlying blah blah. I cannot keep questioning myself on top of all this. It's too hard.

Thanks again for sharing. ❤️

[Ashpashley23]

23 hours ago, Kathrine said:

@Ashpashley23

 

 

I am so sorry to hear that! That sounds so hard!

I don't have the experience to say anything meaningful here. Only, have you tried reinstating just a very, very small dose of the thing that you found most addictive?

Maybe it is bad advice, and so you should ask a moderator here, but I went off Sertraline in January and thought my withdrawal symptoms were linked to my present Seroquel taper. Then I realized that I had protracted and delayed withdrawal from Sertraline all the other times I tried to come off it. I had the symptoms for moths and months on end until I let a doctor diagnose me with depression and put me back on a full dose of Sertraline 😞 This time, I am not risking that so I went back on 1 mg of Sertraline, and it helped a lot! No more waves of extreme anxiety and sudden suicidal ideation. The side effects are back too, and I am tapering slowly down to 0,5 mg, I think, hoping that just giving my brain and body an "it's all right, the drug is still here"-message will be enough while, hoping, the PGAD and shallow breathing and unrest and constant feeling of being hungry might lessen when down at 0,5 mg...

I don't know if that makes sense, but I really didn't want to reinstate, but for me it was the right thing to do for a while, as I have to work and be a mom etc., so life kinda made the decision for me...

I hope you'll feel better soon no matter what you do!

I will never ever touch another medication again. It’s been way too long to try and reinstate and also the two meds that I could possibly reinstate were not the ones that caused my symptoms to explode - that was the Compazine through IV. I appreciate that you’re trying to help, but I didn’t get this for withdrawal - it was an adverse reaction. 

[Kathrine]

13 hours ago, Ashpashley23 said:

I will never ever touch another medication again. It’s been way too long to try and reinstate and also the two meds that I could possibly reinstate were not the ones that caused my symptoms to explode - that was the Compazine through IV. I appreciate that you’re trying to help, but I didn’t get this for withdrawal - it was an adverse reaction. 

Oh... so sorry! I didn't get that. 😞

[jon1]

Does anyone else do that thing where you say to yourself - or someone else - "Oh, I haven't had insert symptom in a while!" only for the symptom to promptly return shortly afterwards?

 

It's happened to me so many times, that I'm sure the subconscious must pick up on subtle changes in the nervous system, and send signals to the conscious mind, triggering thoughts of the symptoms before we've actually felt it.

[tsranga]

On 3/28/2024 at 11:55 AM, Onmyway said:

I have been at this for 5 years now, slowly it still surprises me how suddenly and unexpectedly things turn. The last few weeks have been quite awful for me with spiraling thoughts/ruminations/obsessions/anger. Yesterday I walked and walked to get rid of the agitation and nothing fixed it. Nothing. I was so miserable. And today I woke up calm. It is like magic. I am not sure if and how long this will last but the fact that the change was so sudden and without any outside interventions/happenings boggles the mind. 5 years of this f*ing nightmare and no idea when this will relent. I still have 0.3mg to go and have stopped tapering for now. 

 

I am 5 years out too.  Have you looked into seasonal changes triggering these symptoms especially histamine related? 

 

Histamine overload can trigger these symptoms and it's typically when the histamine bucket overflows. 

[tsranga]

On 4/5/2024 at 5:56 AM, jon1 said:

Does anyone else do that thing where you say to yourself - or someone else - "Oh, I haven't had insert symptom in a while!" only for the symptom to promptly return shortly afterwards?

 

It's happened to me so many times, that I'm sure the subconscious must pick up on subtle changes in the nervous system, and send signals to the conscious mind, triggering thoughts of the symptoms before we've actually felt it.

Absolutely happens to me.. whenever I advice someone how to deal with a symptom, I get to practice my own advice and verify if it works and if I should fine-tune it 😄

[jon1]

10 hours ago, tsranga said:

Absolutely happens to me.. whenever I advice someone how to deal with a symptom, I get to practice my own advice and verify if it works and if I should fine-tune it 😄

 

😁 Not just me then!

[6Eggs]

Has anyone had delayed and worsening waves and symptoms occur long after getting off the drugs?

I'm almost a year out from the antipsych and not so far from 6 months after the last AD dose, and I was ok for maybe 2 nearly 3 months after stopping and generally improving, but since then I feel like my waves are much longer and worse than in the previous 2 nearly 3 years.

The antipsych had a similar delayed effect, I was some 2-3 months out and most of my classical aute WD went completely and then suddenly over a period of 24 hours I ended in the hospital with severe physical neurological symptoms and it continued to get worse months farther along until a micro dose reinstatement stopped the worst of the progression down hill.  I tapered very carefully over the next 2 years and saw massive improvements during this, now I feel most days as bad as I was nearly 3 years ago, yet I have been drug free for a good while now and saw great improvements up to that down hill trend came out of nowhere again.

When I think I have bottomed out, I realize I still haven't yet and not started the recovery process yet.

[jon1]

11 hours ago, 6Eggs said:

Has anyone had delayed and worsening waves and symptoms occur long after getting off the drugs?

I'm almost a year out from the antipsych and not so far from 6 months after the last AD dose, and I was ok for maybe 2 nearly 3 months after stopping and generally improving, but since then I feel like my waves are much longer and worse than in the previous 2 nearly 3 years.

The antipsych had a similar delayed effect, I was some 2-3 months out and most of my classical aute WD went completely and then suddenly over a period of 24 hours I ended in the hospital with severe physical neurological symptoms and it continued to get worse months farther along until a micro dose reinstatement stopped the worst of the progression down hill.  I tapered very carefully over the next 2 years and saw massive improvements during this, now I feel most days as bad as I was nearly 3 years ago, yet I have been drug free for a good while now and saw great improvements up to that down hill trend came out of nowhere again.

When I think I have bottomed out, I realize I still haven't yet and not started the recovery process yet.

In my experience yes. While the type of symptoms I have had shifted somewhat, I still find new ones arising, and the waves are sometimes as bad as they were in the beginning. I’ve been odd meds for over two years.

 

It seems SSRI withdrawal can follow similar patterns to PAWS related to benzodiazepine and alcohol withdrawal. In both cases new symptoms and unexpected waves can occur quite along time after quitting both.

[6Eggs]

7 hours ago, jon1 said:

In my experience yes. While the type of symptoms I have had shifted somewhat, I still find new ones arising, and the waves are sometimes as bad as they were in the beginning. I’ve been odd meds for over two years.

 

It seems SSRI withdrawal can follow similar patterns to PAWS related to benzodiazepine and alcohol withdrawal. In both cases new symptoms and unexpected waves can occur quite along time after quitting both.

 

Thanks! I felt like the only one and wasn't really told if this was a thing or not in my own thread.

Before I joined this forum and even well into using the resources here. My symptoms didn't match and still really don't for SSRI withdrawal, but I found very close similarities with benzo PAWS as most of my symptoms are physical and autonomic and very bad sensory symptoms and I believe revolve around dysfunction within the brainstem, limbic system etc... Which is common with benzos.

I was not on an SSRI when this occurred, rather an uncommon and "new" class of drug that is considered an antipsych generally but is marketed as a SDAM as it is neither a blocker or agonist and doesn't work the same way most APs work.  The AD was also an MAOI or a RIMA to be more precise.  I avoided SSRIs as they made me very ill immediately, all of them did so I tried non conventional classes but here I am and those odd drugs I was on might explain why my symptoms are so weird from most of the people on here.

[Tolk90]

Maybe someone can tell me. For the first three months, I felt my condition improve. But a month ago I started doing sports, added cardio for 20 minutes and 10 minutes of strength training. And I noticed that I became more anxious and my libido deteriorated a little because of this. I wanted to know who had the same thing? Did you continue training? Has it passed? Or have you stopped studying? I would appreciate your feedback. Since I like playing sports, I enjoy training. And I would not like to give them up.

[jon1]

28 minutes ago, Tolk90 said:

Maybe someone can tell me. For the first three months, I felt my condition improve. But a month ago I started doing sports, added cardio for 20 minutes and 10 minutes of strength training. And I noticed that I became more anxious and my libido deteriorated a little because of this. I wanted to know who had the same thing? Did you continue training? Has it passed? Or have you stopped studying? I would appreciate your feedback. Since I like playing sports, I enjoy training. And I would not like to give them up.

 

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me.

 

I used to go to the gym 3-4 times per week, which I still did for a couple of months after my final dose.

 

Then, at around the 2-3 month mark, I noticed exercise was beginning to seriously affect me. I'd usually be okay for a few hours afterward, but that evening or the next day I'd get very agitated and anxious. Almost like I was having a rush of adrenaline that wouldn't turn off. I'd become hypersensitised to movement and sounds around me.

 

Everyone is different, but in my case I've had to stop doing any form of exercise (apart from very short walks) completely, or my withdrawal symptoms get much worse soon afterward.

 

It seems a similar thing has happened to quite a lot of people on here, to varying degrees.

 

I did see a doctor about it, who said he had heard of it happening in SSRI withdrawal. His theory is that because exercise produces cortisol and adrenaline (even light exercise), it overloads the CNS in people with a compromised nervous system.

 

So if you're experiencing a worsening of symptoms after exercise, I'd recommend cutting back a lot or stopping for a while. Then try something light after you feel better.

 

It's important to note that you can't force yourself through it as you normally would. Doing more exercise won't make your body adapt, it will just make your symptoms worse.

[missy27]

15 minutes ago, jon1 said:

 

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me.

 

I used to go to the gym 3-4 times per week, which I still did for a couple of months after my final dose.

 

Then, at around the 2-3 month mark, I noticed exercise was beginning to seriously affect me. I'd usually be okay for a few hours afterward, but that evening or the next day I'd get very agitated and anxious. Almost like I was having a rush of adrenaline that wouldn't turn off. I'd become hypersensitised to movement and sounds around me.

 

Everyone is different, but in my case I've had to stop doing any form of exercise (apart from very short walks) completely, or my withdrawal symptoms get much worse soon afterward.

 

It seems a similar thing has happened to quite a lot of people on here, to varying degrees.

 

I did see a doctor about it, who said he had heard of it happening in SSRI withdrawal. His theory is that because exercise produces cortisol and adrenaline (even light exercise), it overloads the CNS in people with a compromised nervous system.

 

So if you're experiencing a worsening of symptoms after exercise, I'd recommend cutting back a lot or stopping for a while. Then try something light after you feel better.

 

It's important to note that you can't force yourself through it as you normally would. Doing more exercise won't make your body adapt, it will just make your symptoms worse.

This was a great question because i was just thinking this. Now that its summer i really want to be more active. I also had to stop exercise a couple months back because of the same symptoms. I was thinking maybe i need to try again and push through it because ive gotten so weak and want more energy. So its good to not to push it. Thank you for this great response. 

[jon1]

14 minutes ago, missy27 said:

This was a great question because i was just thinking this. Now that its summer i really want to be more active. I also had to stop exercise a couple months back because of the same symptoms. I was thinking maybe i need to try again and push through it because ive gotten so weak and want more energy. So its good to not to push it. Thank you for this great response. 

 

Yeah, it does suck a bit when the sun appears, because you want to go out and do stuff. It's not as hard in the winter!

 

One of the best things I did was get myself an e-bike. It means I can get out and about a bit more without the effort and subsequent side effects of exercise.

[Tolk90]

1 hour ago, jon1 said:

 

Со мной произошло почти то же самое.

 

Раньше я ходил в спортзал 3-4 раза в неделю, что продолжал делать еще пару месяцев после приема последней дозы.

 

Затем, примерно через 2-3 месяца, я заметил, что упражнения начали серьезно влиять на меня. Обычно в течение нескольких часов со мной все было в порядке, но в тот вечер или на следующий день я становился очень взволнованным и тревожным. Как будто у меня был непрекращающийся прилив адреналина. Я стал сверхчувствительным к движению и звукам вокруг меня.

 

Все люди разные, но в моем случае мне пришлось полностью отказаться от любых физических упражнений (кроме очень коротких прогулок), иначе вскоре после этого мои симптомы абстиненции значительно ухудшятся.

 

Кажется, подобное случалось здесь со многими людьми, в разной степени.

 

Я обращался по этому поводу к врачу, который сказал, что слышал об этом при отмене СИОЗС. Его теория заключается в том, что, поскольку физические упражнения (даже легкие упражнения) вырабатывают кортизол и адреналин, они перегружают ЦНС у людей с нарушенной нервной системой.

 

Поэтому, если вы испытываете ухудшение симптомов после тренировки, я бы порекомендовал значительно сократить ее количество или прекратить на некоторое время. Затем попробуйте что-нибудь легкое, когда почувствуете себя лучше.

 

Важно отметить, что вы не можете заставить себя пройти через это, как обычно. Увеличение количества упражнений не заставит ваше тело адаптироваться, а только усугубит ваши симптомы.

Thanks for the reply. I'm just thinking about how this will affect in the long run, will the body get used to and adapt? Or it's better to stop studying. Otherwise, I decided to get in shape a little, lose weight and tighten my body. 

First, I have reduced my calorie intake.

Secondly, I took up cardio. 

And now I'm thinking about the fact that there are two stresses at once that allowed my body to break down. The most disgusting thing is that I don't want to turn into a sissy and watch everything I do. Afraid of overworking or not getting enough sleep for Dad hours. Undereat or overeat. It's starting to smell like hypochondria.

[jon1]

36 minutes ago, Tolk90 said:

Thanks for the reply. I'm just thinking about how this will affect in the long run, will the body get used to and adapt? Or it's better to stop studying. Otherwise, I decided to get in shape a little, lose weight and tighten my body. 

First, I have reduced my calorie intake.

Secondly, I took up cardio. 

And now I'm thinking about the fact that there are two stresses at once that allowed my body to break down. The most disgusting thing is that I don't want to turn into a sissy and watch everything I do. Afraid of overworking or not getting enough sleep for Dad hours. Undereat or overeat. It's starting to smell like hypochondria.

 

It's one of those symptoms that can be different for everybody. For me, it's lasted for two years so far. Others appear to have recovered more quickly, within a few months.

 

I completely understand how frustrating it is, and how it makes you feel 'old'. I get it!

 

The body will recover in the end, but doing more, or pushing yourself will not make you any healthier, it will make you worse and your recovery will take longer.

 

Try and think of it as an injury to your brain and nervous system.

 

It’s kind of like deciding to go for an intense workout the day after having a heart attack, or going for a run on a broken leg, and hoping that forcing yourself will make things better.

 

Instinctively, we know we shouldn’t do that, and symptoms of withdrawal, which are caused by a brain injury, should be treated in the same way.

 

You're not being a sissy if you look after your health (would you call someone a sissy for not running after a heart attack?). If you don't, withdrawal will last much longer.

 

You don't need to do anything special. Just eat well, don't reduce calories as that stresses the body too.

 

Most importantly - and I know this is difficult - but don't put pressure on yourself. Don't get angry with yourself for not being able to do what you want. Don't tell yourself 'I should be feeling better', It will just make you feel worse.

 

Also, remember you are not alone, this has happened and is happening to a lot of other people.

 

 

[Tolk90]

29 minutes ago, jon1 said:

 

It's one of those symptoms that can be different for everybody. For me, it's lasted for two years so far. Others appear to have recovered more quickly, within a few months.

 

I completely understand how frustrating it is, and how it makes you feel 'old'. I get it!

 

The body will recover in the end, but doing more, or pushing yourself will not make you any healthier, it will make you worse and your recovery will take longer.

 

Try and think of it as an injury to your brain and nervous system.

 

It’s kind of like deciding to go for an intense workout the day after having a heart attack, or going for a run on a broken leg, and hoping that forcing yourself will make things better.

 

Instinctively, we know we shouldn’t do that, and symptoms of withdrawal, which are caused by a brain injury, should be treated in the same way.

 

You're not being a sissy if you look after your health (would you call someone a sissy for not running after a heart attack?). If you don't, withdrawal will last much longer.

 

You don't need to do anything special. Just eat well, don't reduce calories as that stresses the body too.

 

Most importantly - and I know this is difficult - but don't put pressure on yourself. Don't get angry with yourself for not being able to do what you want. Don't tell yourself 'I should be feeling better', It will just make you feel worse.

 

Also, remember you are not alone, this has happened and is happening to a lot of other people.

 

 

Thank you very much. It is much more important to hear this than just to understand it on your own.