AliG Posted December 23, 2016 Author Share Posted December 23, 2016 Thanks Flowers. We have been through a lot together and I appreciate your support also. For me this Xmas it's a perfect storm - a mix of regret and circumstance that I'm struggling so hard to deal with. My family situation is so difficult and this holiday seems to be bringing it all to the fore. Usually I can count on my children but for various reasons this year, they are all away and I won't be seeing any of them. That on top of the dysfunction with my" family of birth" seems to be just too much to handle whilst also being " in a wave " this Xmas. I will be glad when it's all over. Maybe then we can both breathe a sigh of relief and get on with the healing. ((Hugs)) Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Flowers Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Oh Ali - I am so sorry. I am trying to remind myself that Christmas is just one day but it's hard when everyone else is enjoying themselves! At least the sun is out today which is better than grey skies! xxxxx Flowers 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
AliG Posted December 23, 2016 Author Share Posted December 23, 2016 Flowers. Thank you. I appreciate your support. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted December 23, 2016 Author Share Posted December 23, 2016 Update : Physically, I'm doing pretty well in terms of sleep etc. but my moods seem to be " all over the place " . Symptoms gone dizziness or reduced : pins & needles insomnia SI depression restless legs akathisia cortisol spikes heart palpitations burning legs /feet brain fog Symptoms same: neuro- emotions agoraphobia anhedonia I'm still struggling with some of the emotional symptoms but they are lightening up and I'm noticing slow improvement. This takes a lot of time. Patience is needed in bucket loads ! I hope everyone has a very joyous Xmas. Much Love. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Hibari Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Thanks for sharing Ali. I know it's tough but you are getting better. It's seems that wd is such a tricky devil with unexpected twists and turns. You have come so far and as I read on this site somewhere, even with wd symptoms, the brain is still healing. You will get better and better. H 9/2013-4/2014: After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro, Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs 1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs 7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021 Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize 10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6 6/16 3.4 6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7 7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0 9/5 1.8 9/16 1.6 9/30 1.4 10/13 1.2 10/26 1.0 11/9 0.8 11/22 0.6 12/6 0.4 12/23 0.2. 2024 1/4/24 Remeron/Mirtazapine free Additional Support: Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs, L-theanine Link to comment
direstraits Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 dear Ali...so sorry your family situation is so difficult...it just makes WD so much harder. I still struggle a lot,too.let's just get through the holidays and hopefully things will start looking up again. thanks for all your love and support, ds....xoxo went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
marie123 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Hi Ali. Thanks for stopping by my thread. I see a lot of your physical symptoms have abated. You are surely getting better. I understand the family thing, I had a very disfunctional family. I had the empty nest thing too when my child moved 3,000 miles away for a great job after college. I felt weepy for a while but you get used to it. Try to treat yourself very well and maybe get some exercise. That's what I do and it seems to work. I've gotten a bit agoraphobic, but I find when I force myself to go places, I'm just fine. Marie 10/13--10/14 Ambien. Started tapering 1/14 Jumped 10/14. Done. 3/14 7.5 Remeron still taking this. 2/14 75 Trazodone - Tapered by dry cutting all the way down. 1/16 4 mg Trazodone - Jumped. Bad mistake. Got hit with late withdrawal 6 weeks later. Reinstated. 4/16 Reinstated 1 mg, updose to 2 mg Trazodone 2/19 .04 Trazodone. Walked off. Done. 10/3/19 Started 7.5 Mirtazapine taper cut to .073 gram weight, pill weighs .076 4/5/20 New Mirtazapine Taper - Compound Liquid 7.35 mg April '20, 7.25 mg May, 7.05 mg June, 6.99 mg June, 6.78 mg July, 6.57 mg Aug, Sept 6.35 mg, Sept 6.24 mg, Sept 6.21 mg, Oct 5.99 mg, Oct 5.90 mg, Oct 5.70 mg. 1/11/21 6.05 mg Messed up taper due to syringe change. Must remember the 1 ml syringe contains 1.5mg! 1/16/21 5.99 mg 2/21 5.75 mg, 3/21 5.6 mg, 4/7 5.45, 4/14 5.30, 5/12 5.15, 5/25/21 4.99 mg, 6/29 4.87 mg, 7/14/21 4.74 mg, 8/5 4.62 mg 8/17 4.5 mg, 8/30 4.38 mg,9/16 4.26 mg,10/9 4.14 mg, 10/23 4.05 mg, 11/6 3.96 mg,11/17 3.87mg.***Jan 22 Liquid was changed/couldn't tolerate***Changed back to pills. Feb 22/3.9 mg, 2/17/22 3.8 mg, 3/23 3.7 mg, 4/7 3.6 mg, 5/10 3.5mg,6/10/22 3.4 mg, 7/4 3.3 mg, 7/25 3.2 mg, 8/20/22 3.1 mg, 9/15 3 mg, 10/8/22 2.9 mg., 12/15 2.8 mg, 1/6/23 2.7 mg, 2/16/23 2.6 mg, 3/9 2.5 mg, 4/4 2.4 mg, 4/29/23 2.3 mg, 5/26 2.2 mg, 6/22/23 2.1 mg, 10/14 2 mg, 11/12 1.9 mg, 11/28 1.8 mg , 12/14/23 1.7, 12/31/23 1.6 mg, 1/20 1.5 mg, 2/6/24 1.4 mg, 2/12 updose 1.5 mg, 3/27/24 1.4 mg. Taking multi-vitamin, vit. D, cholestoff, psyllium husk, and fish oil. Link to comment
Flowers Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Ali - so sorry that there are still so many symptoms affecting you. For me the 'emotional' ones are so much harder to deal with than the physical ones so I can sympathise. We will get through it though and continue to heal. We have to! xxxxxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
lillylou Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Im sorry to hear about the family, my family is somewhat disfunctional. Xmas is just me and my sister which is better than being alone, but i have to work on assignments. just got to hold on for the week you and me both! Its pretty hard though seeing everyone really happy/ xmas music everywhere and ya just want to be a grinch. Thats how i feel anyway -started lexapro (Cirpalex) summer of 2013 for anxiety -20mg for 3 years -started tapering June/or July 2016 (memory foggy) -tapered down by 5 mg every 2-3 weeks -once at 5mg tapered to 2.5 for 2-3 weeks - SSRI free since September 24th 2016 Link to comment
nz11 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Hang in there AliG That is one great list of symptoms gone im sure in 2017 it will get better. Wishing you a restful holiday season. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted December 24, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 24, 2016 Hi, Ali. I am so impressed by what you've accomplished. I know it's still a major struggle, but seeing the insomnia resolve is so inspiring, after the amount of chronic sleep deprivation you survived. I have no doubt you'll survive this difficult phase, too. Your emotions will settle down. The holidays bring so many expectation that for many of us, sadly, we just have so little control over. In a few days, it will be the new year, and I bet you see a bunch of symptoms resolve over the coming year. Wishing you a peaceful holiday and much healing in the new year. Link to comment
Bruin Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Hi Ali....just stopping by to wish you all the best for the holiday season and may 2017 see more of those symptoms ticked off the list. With All Best Wishes Bruin Anti Depressants for 25 years. Valium between 2006 to 7 tapered off over a month without too bad withdrawals. For last 15 years 150 mg of Effexor and 30 mg of Mirtazapine. Occasional short term benzo use without habituation. March 2015 stopped Effexor after rapid taper. 6 weeks. One month fluoxetine June 2015...stopped CT July 2015. October 2013 to December 2015 Zopiclone 15 mg at night, Dec 2015 to Early March 2016 Lyrica 75 mg at night. Stopped too quickly as adverse side effects. January to May 2016 tapered Zopiclone to 7.5mg Crossed over to Valium and now ..March 28th 2017 Benzo Free. Also on 30 mg Mirtazapine and holding until have finished Benzo taper. IN protracted WD from Effexor. Link to comment
Rockingchaircat Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I too wish you all of the best AliG. I understand the mood swings all too well. And you have the right to be upset about the changes in your life. There are many things that are not fair. And we all have the right to be upset about this unfairness. Patience? Oh we all get plenty of practice for THAT. You can do it. We all can. It's just at times you just so danged tired of it all. On those times, you just do what can you do. That's all anyone can expect. 1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15 Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84 Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist. My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health. The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning. Link to comment
PatriciaVP Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 Hi Ali- Stopping by to thank you for all the help you've been to me this past year and wishing you continued healing in 2017. PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004. Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg. Feb. 25, 2017 7 mg. April 9, 2017 6.5 mg. June 2017 6 mg. Aug. 2018 5.75 mg March 2019 5.5 mg Apr. 2019 5.25 mg. June 2019 5 mg Sept. 2019 4.75 mg Nov. 2019 4.5 mg Dec. 2019 4.25 April 7 2020 4mg Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013 750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016. Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation. Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script. WWW.PSYCHFREE.NET Link to comment
Cherry47 Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 Interested to read your post of 23 Dec Ali. I seem to be in a very similar position - physical symptoms improving but now being hit by these emotional rages and mood swings. My husband doesn't know which direction to run, he tries so hard to help but just ends up hovering and following me around and this is suffocating! Also had a bad wave before Christmas, not sure if just random as is usually the case or the desire for it to be over. I don't post very often but still helps to read what is happening and know that you are not alone. As Rockingchaircat says you just get so damn tired of it all! Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 32 years, given AD for this condition alone in 2000 Zoloft 100mg for 15 years, last five of these complained about adverse effects, unable to tolerate other meds even supplements Slowly felt sicker, advised by different Dr maybe on ads for too long Cut back 100 - 50 over 6 months, still getting worse, so stopped over about 6 weeks starting Dec 2014 First month, slow, emotional, useless then POW! Horrendous withdrawal symptoms, completely non-functional for about five months, slowly started to come back to life and continue with waves and windows, still more bad than good, but bads are less bad, and goods slightly better each time Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted December 31, 2016 Mentor Share Posted December 31, 2016 just popping in to thank you for all your support and encouragement, it means SO very much to me I hope you are getting thru the family stuff and will be in a better place soon. remember that strength also means knowing when you need to take some of the burden off of you and either ask others for help, or set it aside til a time when you feel better able to face it. PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
AliG Posted December 31, 2016 Author Share Posted December 31, 2016 Thank you to all who posted on my thread. Much love. Happy New Year ! Let's make it a good one. 2017. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
nz11 Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 Hi AliG thanks for the kind words in my intro thread. Thanks for being an awesome moderator and for all the people you are helping and encouraging on this site. It pleasing and encouraging to read of the sleep improvements that you have experienced. nz11 Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Survivor1 Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 AliG, thank you for responding ind my thread despite going through tough times on your own. Congrats on some of the healing that you have experienced, I hope it continues. All the best. PAST Gabapentin: about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin) Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin) Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months). Seroquel: June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome. CURRENT Supplements: Vit D, turmeric Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg; 10/01/16- 62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months) Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg Link to comment
AmyK Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I wish you a Happy, bright year! Love, Amy Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
PatriciaVP Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Happy New Year, Ali! Wishing you continued healing and peace in 2017. PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004. Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg. Feb. 25, 2017 7 mg. April 9, 2017 6.5 mg. June 2017 6 mg. Aug. 2018 5.75 mg March 2019 5.5 mg Apr. 2019 5.25 mg. June 2019 5 mg Sept. 2019 4.75 mg Nov. 2019 4.5 mg Dec. 2019 4.25 April 7 2020 4mg Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013 750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016. Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation. Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script. WWW.PSYCHFREE.NET Link to comment
LexAnger Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 Hope you are getting over the recent wave of emotional bumps, dear AliG. even an incredible long, seemingly endless bumping process, it will still end eventually. That's the hope gives us the extraordinary strength and patience continuing the fight. As many waves as we have to ride out possibly, each of them makes the rest one less. Congratulations to beating another monster!, and being closer to the full recovery! Hope you are out of the doom at this very moment! Sending love and hugs! Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Bruin Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Happy New Year Ali G.......I have got a great deal from reading your thread ..thank you for your generosity of spirit. As someone who has been on multiple medications for a long time and mainly done CT I have got a lot from it. You have made enormous progress and may 2017 bring healing to the emotional symptoms. All The Very Best Bruin Anti Depressants for 25 years. Valium between 2006 to 7 tapered off over a month without too bad withdrawals. For last 15 years 150 mg of Effexor and 30 mg of Mirtazapine. Occasional short term benzo use without habituation. March 2015 stopped Effexor after rapid taper. 6 weeks. One month fluoxetine June 2015...stopped CT July 2015. October 2013 to December 2015 Zopiclone 15 mg at night, Dec 2015 to Early March 2016 Lyrica 75 mg at night. Stopped too quickly as adverse side effects. January to May 2016 tapered Zopiclone to 7.5mg Crossed over to Valium and now ..March 28th 2017 Benzo Free. Also on 30 mg Mirtazapine and holding until have finished Benzo taper. IN protracted WD from Effexor. Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 7, 2017 Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2017 AliG: I never knew you could eat aloe. My fiancé and are just starting to juice. We bought a vita mix. Did a pomegranate with cottage cheese and banana. It was really good. Do you taste the aloe at all? Do you have any recepies you would be willing to share? That would be awesome. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
AliG Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 HI Frogie. Well you can put it in smoothies. Just " skin " it and throw it in with whatever you're " smoothieing" . LOL. An easy smoothie is banana and spinach leaves and water. ( I like coconut water). I either throw in Chia seeds, full of omega 3 or the Aloe Vera. There is no taste. ( from the Aloe or Chia) Just nutrition. Vitamix blender - that's what I have . Let me know how you go . We can exchange recipes ! Also as I was saying to JC you can use it as an anti - burn / prickly heat/ sunburn / or W/D skin problem solution. It's best if you just grow it and break it off and use straight away. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 7, 2017 Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2017 HI Frogie. Well you can put it in smoothies. Just " skin " it and throw it in with whatever you're " smoothieing" . LOL. An easy smoothie is banana and spinach leaves and water. ( I like coconut water). I either throw in Chia seeds, full of omega 3 or the Aloe Vera. There is no taste. ( from the Aloe or Chia) Just nutrition. Vitamix blender - that's what I have . Let me know how you go . We can exchange recipes ! Also as I was saying to JC you can use it as an anti - burn / prickly heat/ sunburn / or W/D skin problem solution. It's best if you just grow it and break it off and use straight away. Hi: I would love to exchange recepies. That would be awesome Next one is romane lettace, banana, kale, oranges, apples, celery and carrots. Oh and a scoop of protein powder. I'm excited to start juicing, and you pay enough for a vitamix you need to use it. Also, found out you can grind chicken, to make patties and stuff. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
AliG Posted January 7, 2017 Author Share Posted January 7, 2017 Frogie. It sounds good. I do believe the juicing and smoothies helped me. I've put it in Symptoms & Self Care. Diet is key and then other self-care like walking, meditation, sunlight, perhaps some yoga or other exercise. Deep breathing when necessary and perhaps some guided sleep meditations as well. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
grandmaD Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Hi Ali, thank you for your posts on my journal, so I thought I'd find your journal, but will have to read through it later. I did read your update on this page, which is pretty good with those physical symptoms. I wonder if the physical things heal first and then the emotional issues come around after that? How do you take the magnesium and where do you buy it from? It is good to have a site like this otherwise you could think you are crazy or rude or selfish, etc. I have to join the throng about Christmas! I so hate it! I am sure the aversion to it makes our symptoms worse too! I wonder how it will be when we can join in, feel real, enjoy it and so on??? 1995-2007 20mg Aropax/Paxil for pain. Years of up and down doses 2008 Endep, Lexapro and then Esipram (hell!) CT (oh dear!) 2009 20mg Aropax. Tried skipping doses for a year (more hell!) 2010 10mg. 10% taper. Lasted 4 months. Crashed again 2011 5% taper. 9mg-7mg (hell got even worse!) 2012 2.5% taper. 6.6mg – 5.6mg (worser still & unbearable) 2013 5% taper. Big mistake. 5.5mg – 4.6mg (even worserer) 2014 2.5% taper. 4.9mg – 4.5mg; 2015 2.5% taper 4.4 - 4.0mg 2016 2.5% taper. 3.9mg Feb 3.8 Mar 3.7 May 3.6 Jul 3.5 2017 2.5% taper. Jan 3.4; Mar 3.35; Apr 3.3; Oct 3; Dec 2.9; 2018 2.5% taper. Jan 2.8; Mar 2.7; Mar: 2.75; Jun 2.7; Aug 2.6; Oct 2.5; Nov 2.4; Dec 2.3 2019 Jan 2.2; Feb 2.1; Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 9, 2017 Moderator Share Posted January 9, 2017 Frogie. It sounds good. I do believe the juicing and smoothies helped me. I've put it in Symptoms & Self Care. Diet is key and then other self - care like walking, meditation, sunlight, perhaps some yoga or other exercise. Deep breathing when necessary and perhaps some guided sleep meditations as well. Hi AliG: I can't find your smoothies in Symptoms & Self Care? Thanks, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
AliG Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 Thanks to all who have supported me here. I appreciate it. (Frogie / Grandma - replied on your threads.) I love Joseph Campbell so will add another couple of quotes here : "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure." I left a quote on Shep's thread also but I love it so much I will post it here too. " We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. " I'm doing so much better again and seem to be coming out of my wave. It gets easier each time and the pattern is such that I know what to expect now. It is not always predictable in duration or intensity but it is in terms of what to expect symptom wise as there is a certain synchronicity to that as well. It's always a feeling of Oh Oh - here we go again ! Hang on .... I always know I'm in for a wild ride but all the time wondering if it's going to be the last one. I just try to keep surfing the waves. I know from experience that they can rapidly turn to little ripples and then lovely windows. I'm still just waiting for that calm that is never ending .... with no waves in sight .... Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted January 11, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2017 SUCH GOOD NEWS!!!! You are getting every closer to the end, Ali! So happy for you. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 11, 2017 Moderator Share Posted January 11, 2017 Thanks to all who have supported me here. I appreciate it. ( Frogie / Grandma - replied in your threads.) I love Joseph Campbell so will add another couple of quotes here : "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. " I left a quote on Shep's thread also but I love it so much I will post it here too. "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. " I'm doing so much better again and seem to be coming out of my wave. It gets easier each time and the pattern is such that I know what to expect now. It is not always predictable in duration or intensity but it is in terms of what to expect symptom wise as there is a certain synchronicity to that as well. It's always a feeling of Oh Oh - here we go again ! Hang on .... I always know I'm in for a wild ride but all the time wondering if it's going to be the last one. I just try to keep surfing the waves. I know from experience that they can rapidly turn to little ripples and then lovely windows. I'm still just waiting for that calm that is never ending .... with no waves in sight .... I'm soooo glad to hear you are doing so well. Now make my nausea go away and I would be fine too lol... Have to laugh, otherwise I'll just sit and cry, no, no no. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Flowers Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Hi Ali So pleased that you are coming out of your wave. I hope the seas keep calm for you over the coming year. Loved the quotes by the way. Hugs Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 11, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2017 Happy new year, Ali! <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
LexAnger Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Finally! I have been waiting for your update of getting over the wave, as I knew it will. Very happy for you, AliG! Just remember one less wave to ride and enjoy the time as much as possible, not counting the numbers yet to come. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted January 12, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 12, 2017 Thanks to all who have supported me here. I appreciate it. (Frogie / Grandma - replied in your threads.) I love Joseph Campbell so will add another couple of quotes here : "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure." I left a quote on Shep's thread also but I love it so much I will post it here too. "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. " I'm doing so much better again and seem to be coming out of my wave. It gets easier each time and the pattern is such that I know what to expect now. It is not always predictable in duration or intensity but it is in terms of what to expect symptom wise as there is a certain synchronicity to that as well. It's always a feeling of Oh Oh - here we go again ! Hang on .... I always know I'm in for a wild ride but all the time wondering if it's going to be the last one. I just try to keep surfing the waves. I know from experience that they can rapidly turn to little ripples and then lovely windows. I'm still just waiting for that calm that is never ending .... with no waves in sight .... Great post Alison and needed tonight.........all the quotes and such. I am doing okay..........it's not nearly as bad as it used to get. Anyway.......thank you friend from afar..........fellow healing one into this new unknown.........it feels bright again though........ best, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
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