GoodSarah: 26 weeks pregnant and tapering off zoloft- life is rough

[GoodSarah]

Hi All- I'm new here. At 15 weeks pregnant I started having horrible insomnia and anxiety attacks. I ended up going to the ER for a psych consult- I've never had a psychiatrist or been on meds. I have dealt with anxiety and insomnia in the past but never to this degree. Was put on Lorazepam and Trazodone- I loved the lorazepam but as soon as I got in to see a psychiatrist I was told to CT immediately due to negative effects on the pregnancy. So I quit- it had only been about 2 weeks but I swear I experienced Benzo withdrawal- my anxiety went through the roof and I even felt suicidal on day #5 of withdrawal (something I've never experienced before) I decided to give Zoloft a shot- but low and behold it did not help my anxiety or depression and I had a lot of anxiety about taking the meds. I still wasn't sleeping more than 2-3 hours a night so trazodone kept getting increased but to no avail. Tried Nortiptiline for 2 nights- nothing. Meanwhile also CT'd trazodone (as advised by the psych) My psychiatrist was horrible- terrible bedside manner and her only suggestion was to increase Zoloft to 75mg and introduce Seroquel,

 

That night my husband and I decided to stop trying to find a med to get me to sleep since I didn't want to keep going up the chain and get into the more potent drugs. I'm notoriously impossible to knock out and with being pregnant I wasn't willing to go there. Talked to the psych about tapering off zoloft- she said I could just CT that too. But since I'd been on the 50mg dose for 4 weeks I really wasn't comfortable with CTing ANOTHER drug. That's when I decided to do my own taper (my midwives are aware of it and i just stopped going to my psych all together) I really want to be med free by the time we have the baby (due 7/2) Plus I'd like to get my orgasms back!

 

Currently I''m still experiencing insomnia (luckily not every single night is torture any more) very occasional anxiety attacks (usually during bouts of insomnia) and GI distress plus some irritability and intrusive thoughts at times.

 

Anyways-that's my story in a nutshell. The taper went great at first but going from 25 to 12.5 has been really rough. Since I'm preg it's really hard to know what symptoms are from WD, pregnancy, or the original anxiety. I'm hoping to reach out the community here as most of the pregnancy groups I'm in are very "pro-med." I'm often the only person trying to get off the meds, rather than switching AD's 3-5 times and adding antianxiety meds to the cocktail. Sometimes the message is "hang in there til you give birth becasue then you can start taking benzos!" which I NEVER want to take again. 

 

Thanks for reading!

Edited September 24, 2016 by scallywag
tags added

[Fresh]

Hello  GoodSarah , welcome to the site.

 

This site recommends tapering by no more than 10% at a time to avoid withdrawal symptoms.  Try reading "Why Taper by 10%"   in the Tapering section.  Also

"What is Withdrawal" in Symptoms and Self Care.

 

There are a number of members who are/have been pregnant whilst withdrawing.   Try doing a search for pregnant/pregnancy in the Introductions section.

"Pregnog" comes to mind.  You may find useful information on other people's threads.

 

Also , if you click FOLLOW THIS TOPIC at the top right , you'll receive an email each time someone posts.

 

Good to have you on board ,  Fresh

[GoodSarah]

Thanks Fresh- To be honest I was hoping that I could taper more quickly since I was only on the full dose for 4 weeks. It's frustrating to think it will take longer to taper than I was even on the full dose for- but the experience of 25 to 12.5 has been rough and I don't feel ready to go down anymore at the moment. It's been 7 days. 

[Fresh]

I know what you mean Sarah.   See Laura1981's thread - she took Effexor for only 5 days!

If your cns is sensitive these meds. can do a lot in very little time.  Your way off them will be very individual too.

 

Read the thread called "Vanessa: Pristiq withdrawals and pregnant.    In it one of the moderators , bubble , shares a letter received by Pregnog from Dr. David healy ,

one of the few experts in this area.

[Songbird]

Thanks Fresh- To be honest I was hoping that I could taper more quickly since I was only on the full dose for 4 weeks. It's frustrating to think it will take longer to taper than I was even on the full dose for- but the experience of 25 to 12.5 has been rough and I don't feel ready to go down anymore at the moment. It's been 7 days. 

 

I agree, after only four weeks on, you should be able to taper faster.  You might experience some unpleasant w/d effects for a while, but they are unlikely to be long-lasting, and I think that is better than staying on a lot longer, which would cause more changes in your body and make it harder to get off.  You could try more natural methods such as daily relaxation exercises and sleep CDs for your anxiety and insomnia.

[GoodSarah]

I hope this isn't TMI- but how long does it take to be able to orgasm again? I stopped being able to after about 1 week on zoloft. Do I have to come completely off for it to come back? I'm guessing it's probably different for everyone, but some context would be awesome.

 

I slept a little better last night and the GI distress is still present but a little better. It's frustrating because sleep has been he main issue for me the whole time (one of the reasons I started meds in the first place- stupid I know) On the 25mg I was getting 5-6 solid hours but of sleep is very broken on the 12.5  It's so confusing and lame I just want to be done with this med. I hate my psychiatrist but I hate myself more for even going down this road, especially while pregnant. Sorry to whine- could use some virtual hugs

[Altostrata]

Welcome, GoodSarah.

 

Given you're pregnant and have taken Zoloft only 4 weeks, if I were you, I'd do a fast taper. When did you reduce from 25mg to 12.5mg? What symptoms are you feeling now?

 

With any luck, your orgasm will come back as you reduce the dosage.

 

It is a shame you were doused with psychiatric drugs while pregnant. The hormonal changes of pregnancy can cause sleep disruption. Your system should have been left alone to correct itself.

 

See Recommended doctors, therapists, or clinics

[GoodSarah]

Hi there- I decreased from 25 to 12.5 on 3/19 ( exactly 1 week ago).  Was doing ok until 3/21 when I started feeling pretty "down." Prior to that date I had really improved my sleep (was getting a 4-5 chunk plus 1 or 2 hours after that each night) Well for the past 5 nights I'm back to several 1-2 hour chunks throughout the night. And I've had GI pain and nausea for the past 3 days, and was violently ill in the middle of the night 2 nights ago. The GI issues feel very similar to when I CT'd trazodone. I guess I'm in a wave right now, and just a week ago I was feeling happy and uplifted more and more. Now I feel I've lost that progress-especially with sleep.

 

And of course being pregnant it's so hard to tell if its the taper or just normal pregnancy stuff. I really want to be completely done with zoloft- it's the last med I need to get off. If I'm doomed to insomnia and other irritating symptoms I'd rather know that it's me (or the pregnancy) and not a chemical controlling my brain. 

 

Prior to this last week I tapered from 50mg to 37.5 flawlessly. After about a week and a half went down to 25- had some bumpy days but it went well. Then a week later did the most recent taper to 12.5. It's frustrating that I was doing so well at 25mg- makes me tempted to stay there. But I really wanted to continue the taper so I can be med free by the time I'm due. Plus I wasn't back to my old self on 25mg anyways- just less bad than I was before.  It's been a difficult pregnancy in so many ways (my first and hopefully only) and this med stuff has made it so much worse. I'm thinking hold 12.5 for a bit then try to go down again in a week or so?

 

 

Oh- guess I should add- I've been on zoloft since 2/6 including the taper- I was on the full dose for 4 weeks

[Altostrata]

Good idea, hold a bit, see if your sleep improves. It sounds like your nervous system needs to consolidate after the reductions you've made so far.

[GoodSarah]

Slept a bit better last night yay! On the bright side- I've noticed since going down to 12.5  I've had a significant decrease in teeth-grinding, the crazy vivid SSRI-dreams have all but disappeared. I still dream a lot (always have) but they're not so disturbing and memorable. At 50mg I was having 4-5 extremely vivid and strange dreams in the 1-3 hours of sleep I was getting and I remembered every detail throughout the day. Also feeling less depersonalization (floaty disconnected feeling in my head) I'm going to stay at 12.5 for awhile longer. I'd honestly like to taper to 6mg next due to the pregnancy and the relatively short duration of my time on zoloft, but I'm not sure if that's too idealistic. 

[mammaP]

Glad you are feeling better Sarah.  I am astounded at your doctors giving you all those drugs while you are pregnant! 

[GoodSarah]

Not to sound like a broken record- but this is so confusing. I've been at 12.5mg for 11 days now. I'm not sleeping as good as I was on 25 mg which is so weird because insomnia is a big problem with zoloft. Wouldn't it make more sense that sleep would improve the less I take? I've definitely been pretty teary lately.  GI issues seem to come and go-no more throwing up but some pains here and there. I'm almost in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy and I wonder- do any of my symptoms have anything to do with the zoloft taper or is this pregnancy stuff? Or both? And on top of that- I've only been on zoloft since Feb. I'm holding at 12.5 right now but I also fear that by attributing my issues to WD I'm delaying getting off entirely. What if I delay so long that I'm still on zoloft when the baby comes? What if all these problems is pregnancy stuff and it would be best to push through with the taper? I made great progress at first but the past 11 days have been rough. Out of the 11 days 3 were windows and the rest were waves. I miss the 4-5 our chunks of sleep I was getting. Now I'm back to broken sleep 2-3 or 1-2 hour chunks. Everyone keeps saying I will feel better after I have the baby and I'm scared that I won't, or that I'll feel worse even.

Sorry to be a downer- it is what it is. First time mom here (28yo) so I have no frame of reference except that I know this has been a difficult pregnancy by anyone's standards.

~Sarah

[Sediah88]

Hey Sarah!

 

When I was pregnant I was having anxiety and panic attacks. I was put on medication just before I fell pregnant and as soon as I found out I stopped taking. (Only started a few days before). But I started seeing a psychologist. This helped carry me through the pregnancy. Maybe you could do the same while your tapering off? Or find a support group. I've been doing guided relation which i fi d on YouTube. They help clear your mind as well so you could try these

 

Sorry I'm not much more help

[Altostrata]

Sarah, it could be your nervous system is still unsettled from the dosage changes. It takes about 4 days for a dosage change to reach steady-state in your bloodstream.

 

Give it some days after to see how this dosage level affects you. Then you can better judge how to proceed.

[Songbird]

Your concerns are valid, and I think you won't completely be able to distinguish w/d from pregnancy issues.  You'll need to balance listening to your body with not staying on so long that it becomes harder to get off.  I think holding for a bit is a good idea, and see how it goes.  Hopefully things will settle down soon.  Next time you might consider smaller drops rather than halving your dosage again.  At this point try not to worry about how you will feel after having the baby, that's a whole other ball game and you haven't got there yet.  Worrying about it now won't help anything and will just exacerbate anxiety.  Relaxation exercises might help to calm your nervous system.  Have you tried any sleep CDs for the insomnia?  (Now I'm the broken record!)  I hope you feel better soon.

[GoodSarah]

Update- I'm starting to feel a bit more stable over the past week. I've stayed at 12.5mg- still feeling like I'm getting side effects from the zoloft like mild dizziness. I want to take the next step down but fighting my fears. I've been feeling "better" for a week now and I'm scared to go back to a bad place when I taper again. I totally see how hard it can be for people to get off these meds. It's tempting to stay where I'm at because at least I can function this way. But I really want to be free!!!

[GoodSarah]

Took the plunge and went down to 11mg today from 12.5-using the liquid taper method (made the concoction myself with water and an oral syringe) Wish me luck! I'm hoping this is a small enough decrease that I won't be as affected as the last one (50 to 12.5)

[Songbird]

Good luck!  Let us know how it goes!

[GoodSarah]

HI all- update on going from 12.5 to 11mg- things are ok. It's day 5 and I happen to feel kind of low and emotional. But yesterday I felt fantastic and uplifted with tons of energy. Sleep is still on and off last night I woke up at 330am and just could not get back to sleep. but I'm also still having some nights of decent sleeps. As has been the story so far, distinguishing between pregnancy and zoloft WD/side effects seems nearly impossible (I'm 28 weeks 5 days now)

 

One thing that bugs me is I feel tremendous pressure to hurry the taper.I only have about 10 weeks left til the baby is born and I'd really love to be done with this by then. Tapering has been rough (not as bad as for some but definitely un-fun) and I don't know if I'm up to it post-partum. But I don't want to put it on hold indefinitely. My mom and husband want me to push through and jump off asap, but they aren't the ones who actually have to live through the experience. On the other hand- there are a LOT of moms and "perinatal specialists" who swear by ADs and benzos and they can't understand why one would want to come off of them. I can't really open up in  my support group because they all advise to stay on meds and that I would feel better on meds. I hate it when someone says " if you had diabetes you would take medication for that right? So how is this any different?" Ughh well the truth is for me the "medication" didn't help my depression anxiety or insomnia one little bit.

 

 My next goal s to go down to 9mg but I want to wait until it's been at least 12-14 days since going to 11. I do feel like the smaller increments work better for me than bigger drops.

[Songbird]

I'm surprised that the perinatal specialists are okay with ADs, as there have been reports of withdrawal issues in newborns whose mothers were on ADs during pregnancy.  Being on a much lower than full dose would reduce this risk for your baby - and it looks like you are already down to much lower than full dose which is good news. 

 

Keep in mind that you need to be in a good condition to be able to look after your baby.  Rather than putting pressure on yourself to get off asap, I would just aim to be at a much reduced dose by the time the baby is born, whether that is zero or a little more, don't sweat it too much.  It's still possible that you will be able to get all the way off in 10 weeks, but I don't think you need to make this an absolute necessity if you find the taper difficult.  I would just keep doing what you are doing, smallish drops, listening to your body and adjusting accordingly. 

[GoodSarah]

HI Songbird- I really appreciate your support. This has been a rough process. Usually the pill pushers will argue that the "benefits" of AD's and other psych meds outweigh the risks. There's a lot of talk about maternal stress being bad for babies and lttle kids. A lot of people have bought the "perfectly safe and non addictive" lies told by their doctors. Thats why I'm constantly hearing the analogy of taking medication for a non-mental illness such as thyroid or whatever an dcomparing it to taking psych meds. It's just not that simple- it's apples and oranges in my opinion. But people put a lot of trust in their psychiatrists (including myself at one point). I was told I could take seroquel, trazodone and multiple ADs at the same time while pregnant by my psych. And I was told my baby would experience withdrawal in the first few days after birth, but that she would be fine after that. 

 

Thank you for your comments and support. I feel like I'm in a bit of another wave again (day 6 of the new taper) as I'm having some anxiety and some stomach cramps but I'm just going to ride it out. The last one lasted about 3 weeks and was much more severe. Luckily I have a therapist and a supportive husband and the SA community. Can't wait to be done with this all!!

[paxilslave]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't believe that your doctor's are so casual about handing these drugs out to pregnant women. I know how hard it is to get off them but I think it is definately going to be easier for you since you haven't been on that long. Just listen to your body and decrease when you feel stable enough to do so. I wish you luck with your taper and your precious baby

[GoodSarah]

HI all-to update-I'm still at 11mg. Stomach pain has been minimal, still present at times but not too bad. My mood has been decent, was able to genuinely enjoy a family function yesterday yay! Sleep has been ok -having a combination of good and not great nights, but at least its not all bad. The baby  is positioned very low and puts a lot of pressure on my bladder and lower abdomen which contributes to sleeplessness unfortunately.But some nights she moves and it's not so bad. I'm experiencing a wide range of emotions, but also depression and anxiety at times. It hasn't been unbearable. There are are days when I' excited for my little one to be born- which is new since I became severely depressed and anxious at 15 weeks. Overall I'm cautiously hopeful that the latest reduction has been less rough and the wave much less severe. I'm contemplating my next drop- which I'm thinking will be to 9.5. But my baby shower is on May 1st and it means a lot to me and my m om that I'm able to attend and make it through that day. So I'm considering holding at 11 until after the shower. I don't want to risk being in a terrible state of WD that day. At the same time I know I can still have bad days at my current dose and there's no gaurentees. Something to ponder- and suggestions would be appreciated. Just go to say- I think it's really important o be thankful for the good days and what relief we do get during this process. 

Love

~SArah

[Oceanrat]

So glad you are getting relief during such a stressful time in your life. So so glad for you!

[GoodSarah]

HI everyone- I could really use some support tonight. For some reason I've been very down today. I've been teary most of the day, and beating myself up for the condition that I'm in. My husband is working full time so I've been alone which is hard. What's even harder is a feeling I get from time to time that I'm completely disconnected from the rest of humanity. Like even if my husband or mom (both of whom I love) were sitting right next to me I still feel completely alone. I feel dull, like I have nothing to say. my life is so boring. I have nothing to contribute.  I've had these thoughts before, and hey come and go. Sometimes they linger for a couple days. Luckily I'm not freaking out about them because my therapist has helped me learn to cope. But on days like today I just want to hide and go away (where to I don't know) I just feel so down. Pregnancy hormones can do this to a person too, so it might be WD, might not. Just wanted to put it out there that it's been a sad day for me. 

 

Note- on cool thing- And again I really hope this isn't TMI- I had an orgasm this morning! First one since going on zoloft. I'm taking this as a sign that the taper is going well in that department and my brain is healing on some level. Not much consolation on the emotional front, but a small victory

[Altostrata]

Yes, that orgasm is good news, Sarah.

 

At this point, it could be your pregnancy hormones causing you to feel weepy. Can you do something to change the channel -- get yourself involved in a pleasant activity? Some people find knitting to be soothing.

[Songbird]

I just had two days like that recently, I think it was a combination of w/d and PMS hormones.  These meds really mess with hormones so it isn't surprising I guess.  It's great that you've learned some coping skills to deal with it.

[Flowers]

Hello GS

 

I came across a post you had put on OceanRats thread about therapy.

 

I am so sorry you are suffering a little right now but getting your orgasm must have made you feel much better.

 

I wanted to ask what therapy you are having. I am British and live in Spain so imagine things are a little different to the USA. I am finding it hard to deal with the depression and anxiety in WD and would love to know what helps you. Maybe I can find someone here who practices something similar.

 

Hugs from Flowers xxx

[GoodSarah]

So about therapy-  I feel the need to explain it's been helpful but I am still struggling quite a bit. It's one thing to have tools and coping mechanisms, but it takes effort and determination to use them. And sometimes they work better than others. I tend to get bogged down in negative thoughts about myself, to the point of not even caring to try to change my mood. 

 

That being said- my therapist is a specialist in maternal mental health. I'm lucky because the Oregon Health Plan covers my sessions. I've been very clear that I do not want to turn to psychiatric drugs anymore and she is supportive of this. We don't talk about the drugs that much- but I do inform her when I've made drops. The work we do is a combination of talk therapy, mindfullness, and she has a decidedly Eastern slant. For example- the concept of pain vs suffering is a major theme with me. I've been dealing with physical and mental pain from the med situation plus enduring a hellish pregnancy. I've had pretty severe insomnia almost the entire time, gestational diabetes, round ligament pains, etc in addition to severe anxiety and all the medication crap. I tend to get very panicky about all of this. If one of my symptoms rears it's head that can send me into a tailspin of anxiety and depression which makes everything worse.

 

Most recent example- I started experiencing severe pelvic pain last week from the baby being positioned so low. Had a terrible night of insomnia and a real panic attack that led to vomiting and despair. Non of my relaxation "tools" worked (breathing techniques, reading, meditation) Went to see my therapist the next day and she told me my "tools" were distractions but wouldn't do the trick of helping me heal. We are focusing on acceptance and exploration of the pain (mental and physical) now. Becoming familiar with the pain and the intrusive thoughts, especially the physical responses I have to them. Learning to live with the pain. Panic and anxiety exacerbate my issues, so this is kind of the opposite- instead of running away I'm trying to dive in. I guess this sounds pretty metaphysical-but it's the best way I can think to describe her approach. The idea is that the pain will lessen or become more bearable the more acclimated I become, instead of this horrifying neverending nightmare.  

 

Last night I was feeling super low-allowing intrusive thoughts to rule and loop in my mind. Dwelling on them. It's hard to live up to lofty zen ideals during these times. That's  when I focus on simply enduring. And it does help to get support from others.

 

Oh yeah- and Thanks for the suggestion Alto- I do crochet which is a great way to change the channel. I ended up crocheting some baby booties while watching mindless TV. Better than obsessing I would say!

 

The Dalai Lama has written some books that have been helpful to me- the Art of Happiness and Advice on Dying in case anyone is interested. Still on this journey though- hoping I can make it through my baby shower then make another drop to 9.5mg-I'm so ready to be done with zoloft wish I had therapy before everything went up in flames- I might not have resorted to meds out of desperation

[Flowers]

Thanks for explaining the techniques which work for you. I am prepared to try anything to  ease this awful anxiety. I am looking into mindfulness. Not sure if I can do it but will certainly give it a try.

 

You are so strong to be dealing with this through pregnancy. 

 

Love from Flowers xxx

[GoodSarah]

Good for you- I gotta run but I'll post some more specifics later- some pretty basic things you can try to start out! Hang in there!

[GoodSarah]

HI Flowers- So here's a list of the techniques I've had some success with for managing anxiety. These are basically bandaids to the deeper psychological difficulties we're going through, but they're good places to start and to keep you in the moment. Let me know if any of them work!
 

A- the 3:5 diaphragmatic breathing- inhale for 3 counts through your nose. Hold. Exhale for 5 counts through your mouth. Hold. 1-2 regular breaths. Repeat. Had a counselor tell me it's physically impossible to have a panic attack while doing this breathing exercise. I've repeated this exercise up to 20 X- it takes a lot of concentration but it has helped 

 

B- Body/sound scan- Identify 5 things you feel in your body (ie- the pressure of your shoes, cool air in your nostrils, etc) OR 5 things you hear right now (birds outside, car driving by, your own breath) You can get really detailed with the body scan and describe your sensations to yourself in detail-or pick one area of the body like your foot to focus on

 

C- Imagine your mind like a glass of water. You can see through the glass of water but it is not empty. Thoughts cloud the glass of water so you can't see through it. Try clearing your thoughts until your mind is as transparent as the glass of water. Experience the thoughts but then let them pass.

 

Hope this helps-I've had varying degrees of success with these exercises depending on my level of anxiety. As I mentioned I'm moving past a point of distracting myself but these techniques could help calm you down if you feel yourself escalating

 

Good luck! Feel free to share anything that's been helpful to you. In the beginning stages of my process I would take a bath and do guided meditations from youtube. Just search "meditation for anxiety" or "meditation for healing"- I find guided meditation was much easier to start out with at first 

[Altostrata]

Band-Aids are often as good as it gets!

[Flowers]

Good Sarah you are so sweet to send me all this information. I have been very brain foggy  today and not able to digest much but will give this a try tomorrow.

 

I have been doing progressive muscle relaxation exercises. There are a lot on you tube! You go from feet to head and slowly tense and relax muscles which seems to take the tension and aches  out of the body. Doesn't do much for my mind though! It's still racing away.Maybe yours will.........

 

I am speaking to a friend in UK tomorrow evening who practises mindfulness - maybe he will be able to help me via Skype!!!

 

I live in quite a remote part of Spain and we don't have access to various therapists unfortunately.

 

Hope you are doing OK. I am off to bed now.

 

Speak soon and thanks once again.

 

Flowers xxx

[GoodSarah]

HI all- quick update- Down to 7mg of Zoloft using my own liquid taper with an oral syringe. I get weird looks from my midwives about this method and they keep reminding me I "may need to go back on once the baby is born." Uggggh so lame. But good news- haven't had any stomach issues in awhile. Been sleeping better. I still wake up every night- sometimes I'm only up for a little while but sometimes is 2-3 hours. But overall even though I have a bad night occasionally I've been getting 4--7 hours every night. Of course this is all "knock on wood" but that's my update. I've got 7-8 weeks til the baby is born I'm planning to be done with zoloft before then. I have been tapering abit faster than 10% since I have kind of a deadline. Last week I went down from 9 to 7. But so far so good....

[Flowers]

Hi GoodSarah

 

I was so delighted for you that things are going well. I hope this continues through to your delivery date.

 

Flowers xxx