Vonnegutjunky Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Hello - I want to make this as short and sweet as possible - After I had my 8year old DD I was put on 20 mg of Paxil- it was great - worked wonders- after about 2 years I went down to 10 mg- I had some anxiety but nothing I couldn't handle - in May 2014 I had a great job and finished grad school and was super excited to come off the meds with the help of my PCP - it took me from May - October to get down to 5mg 1 day and 2.5 mg alternating days - I was so happy - then I got a uti and ended up on a sulfa based antibiotics which I am apparently allergic to- long story short Christmas Eve 2014 I flipped out - anxiety- panic - derealization- and suicidal thoughts ( never had suicdial thoughts before btw) so I went to my PCP and told her I want to go back on my 10 mg - so January 1st of this year I reinstated to 10 mg- but I keep having what others reference as the waves or windows of feeling horrific - like I'm not myself! Just feeling sad and doom/ dread and then I get feeling ok for a few weeks and just when I think the worst has passed but it comes back-however I no longer feel suicidal- i have a therapist - he doesn't understand all of the med complications but is encouraging with my desire to come off- and my doc is not sure what is going on- discussed it with her and here are my choices - mind you I really really want off this medication - I can either try a new med that is easier to get off- but no guarantee it will make me feel better or I can up my Paxil and stabilize and try to come off again- I don't want to up it as I worry it will only make things worse- I just want to know that I am normal and I will feel better eventually - is it normal to feel crazy?! 2 weeks of DP/DR and anxiety and then a few weeks of feeling ok? Never feel manic and I'm not bipolar - I'm 42a I just have horrible anxiety - just want to know I will be ok Thank you *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
DLB Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Yep, sounds classic. Same as me when I did fast taper. Now I did a 15 month taper off 10 mg. paxil and took my last dose 10 days ago. I held and tapered below 1 mg. for 4 months and I seem to be doing fine except for terrible sleep and anhedonia getting better. I had a few real rough spots coming down at 2.35 mg and .85 and .25. The anxiety, blood on fire in my veins feeling happened all three times and lasted days , more days the higher doses. As of right now I don't even know how anxiety feels! But things can change fast with this crap. Are you still on. The 10 mg.? Also go to your profile and make a signature so we can see your history more accurately and help you a little more. Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg. 1/01/15 - .75 mg. 1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues... 2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me! 3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad! 4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 Thank you for your reply- I am still on 10 mg- I don't feel like things are getting any better - I am still having horrible panic and feelings of desperation and loneliness and depersonalization/derealization- I am considering going back up to 20 because 10 is no longer working for me - i know it hasn't been working to the fullest the last 3 years or so- but I was able to work through it - now I just feel more horrible knowing it's the medication- I'm worried I won't feel better unless I increase or completely go off it- I wish I knew if it possible to heal my brain while on these 10 mg or do I have to go completely off before I can start it heal?! *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 Update : after 4 mos of 10 mg not working I took my 20mg that the PCP prescribed for me in March- I have a therapist now and I am going to work with him while getting off of this drug after I have had time to stabilize - will be back to let you know how I feel next week- God bless *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Jlynn Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 A moderator will be along soon I am sure with very knowledgeable information and amazing support. As you can see from my signature I have been in a very similar situation. I just wanted to say you are in the best possible place for information and support. Hang in there! 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 Jlynn- your thread was the reason I posted here- I am super nervous and disappointed about reinstating since I've been on 10mg for 6 years- now back at 20 scares me - worried it won't work- worried about serotonin syndrome- I updosed because of the feelings of suicide- never been suicidal in my life - I also recently started seeing a therapist a month ago- I thought weaning with my PCP would be good enough but apparently not - I'm scared to be on meds - I'm scared to be off- I hate this and I hate the feelings - no physical symptoms tho1 only dread doom panic despair Thank you for replying Jlynn *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted April 23, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 23, 2015 Hi V, welcome to SA. I have to dash out now but another mod will be along to advise you. Just wanted to say hi and welcome. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 Thank you ???? *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 23, 2015 Administrator Share Posted April 23, 2015 Welcome, VJ. You may be more comfortable at 15mg Paxil. For information about how to titrate, see Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine) Also see The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery and Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Please let us know how your updose is working for you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 I took 1 20 mg dose yesterday - I feel like I am giving in and need to be fighting instead- I want to try to stabilize on 10 mg but don't know if it's too late since I took a 20 yesterday? Also I have liver issues because of this medication- which is another reason why I want to get off of it- my PCP gave me the 20 mg dose Incase I needed it- I think I gave in last night feeling desperate then I read on this site about the windows and the ways and how that's the difference between withdrawal and relapse - I am in withdrawal- I wish I would have never went all the way back up to -10 I wish I would have stayed at 5 and stuck it out- I just didn't know what was happening to me. *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 *waves *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted April 24, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 24, 2015 VJ, hey. I'm sorry you've suffered as you have. One night on 20mg isn't going to break you. You can drop back to 10, or as Alto suggested, you can go for the middle-ground of 15. You're going to be ok, truly. And if you can keep yourself somewhat at ease emotionally, you'll fare all the better in the long run. Waves break on the shore and windows arrive. It sounds like you've tasted this polarity. Try not to regret your updose now. It is water under the bridge. I'd settle on 10 or 15 and then hold your ground. You will stabilize, and then be able to descend again - more gently. Many of us have over or under-corrected as we've worked our way through this process. It is all learning. It is all different for each of us. Deserted island, one book allowed, which Vonnegut is there? Great username. Hang in there and keep us in the loop. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 Thank you Dave good to know - I think I will go to 15 and try to stabilize - One book? I would jump to say welcome to the money house only bacaue it has an array of stories, but my all time favorite is player piano What about you? *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted April 24, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 24, 2015 VJ, I think the 15 is the prudent move. See how you do with it. Funny, I was going to welcome you by saying "Welcome to the Monkey House," but wasn't sure on the humor. But I concur - the diversity of the stories would win the one-way ticket for that one. Single work, it'd be a close three-way between S-house Five, Player Piano, and Mother Night... I'd need to flip a coin - twice. Have you tried any supplementation? I'm fairly skeptical when it comes to them, however magnesium glycinate has proven a most valued ally and chill-pill. As you are waiting for stabilization, symptom-handling via non-script methods is important to consider. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 I wouldn't know where to begin on taking magnesium- as far as how much to take- I also have a fear of taking supplements because I'm worried they will do something worse to me sounds stupid I know - I have a question though and maybe you could answer it for me- I have been reading about the neuroplastisity and ways to change your brain - ie meditation - do you think meditating will allow me positive changes in the areas of my brain connected to being disrupted by the Paxil even though I am still on the Paxil? I am worried about staying on it much longer and not getting back to healing and ultimately making things worse - Thank you - Jenny *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
westcoast Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Welcome. You are normal. That dread is not a real emotion. It is an AD thing, and the more you look around the more you will see others mention it. (Had you ever felt it before all, this? I hadn't!) The tapering experts will guide you along. I didn't taper, but I am pretty sure no one here would evrper enocourge you to hurry up. Having to go back up to 20 or 15 is just what you had to do at that point in time. The best thing about this site is everyones has had these symptoms, we know they are real. But outside? Just so hard to convey withdrawal with words. Here, you don't have to! W 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted April 24, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 24, 2015 Jenny, hey. I was the same way about supplements - not even remotely stupid. It's a healthy fear about putting things into our bodies after what we've experienced with pharmaceuticals. We're all likely deficient to some degree in magnesium due to poor agricultural practices and the amount of stress we are under. I use a brand called Doctor's Best. It can be procured cheaply on Amazon. You can't really OD on magnesium, which I always found assuring. You'll know you've taken too much if you have tummy troubles. Magnesium glycinate is a very good form of the mineral. It is simply something to consider as you await stabilization. I used to have a panic attack before taking anything new. But magnesium always sat well with me. Others have reported positive experiences with it. See the thread on it in symptoms and self care. I am a firm believer in the power of mindfulness and specifically, meditation. If you can develop a practice of any kind, I feel there will be at least some benefit - if only the few moments of quiet solace you spend sitting. Getting back to healing will happen. You experienced some heavy fallout from an incorrect taper, so this time with that in mind, slow and diligent is the path to apply yourself to. It will take patience. I know it seems almost claustrophobic to continue taking the drug when you know how awful it is and how bad you want off. But it's a means to a successful end. I hope that makes sense. Hang in there. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I often have difficulty focusing enough to read a book during this WD mess, but I was feeling ok enough to try the other day. And I pulled out S-5, last read it in high school many decades ago. Couple of days later, V-junky showed up! 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 Thank you all for the reassurance - I will post in my signature - but I took 15 last night and slept so hard - for the first time since November I feel like I slept - I am hopeful that 15 will stabilize me I just feel like a clod for even trying to get off of my 10mg since now I am on a higher dose - I have been reading a lot on this site and although I feel like a big mess right now I realize things could be worse as some peoples stories on here about docs jumping them around on meds or those trying to get off of benzos are just in really horrible situations:( I should read s-5 again too - it's such a good book - this is only day 1 on 15 so I will keep posting and sharing my story - I am trepidatious but hopeful - oh and I'm going to get some magnesium:) *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Jlynn Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Just dropping by to show support! I wish I had known then what I know now about the symptoms and waves and windows and slow tapering. I am at 25 days reinstated on my 20 mg and I am just now getting to where I can say I am feeling better. Gives me hope for my future taper but it has been the worst month I can ever remember. I take fish oil, B-vitamins, magnesium, and a pro-biotic and so far I have had good luck with those. 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Oceanrat Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Just sending positive vibes from Cali! Hang in there! 17 years on Zoloft, 47 years old now 3 years on Ativan for sleep cold turkeyed in 2014 Reinstated after 1 week, cold turkey again 1 month later with phenobarbital. Dp/dr, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, depression, still able to work, exercise heavily, be a parent After 4 months went to doc, wanted off of Zoloft, didn’t know risks, starting dose 100mg Rapid taper, got down to 35mg in 6 weeks. hit real real trouble, akathesia, terror, awake for 6 weeks, hospitalization, put me in 15 temazapam to put me asleep, transfered to some swanky ocean front place in Malibu Ca. Massive polydrugged, got sicker and sicker 10mg zyprexa for 5 months, then tapered 1000mg depakote for 8 months, 10 month taper Still on 15mg temazapam Start SSRI taper in jan. current dose 40mg Zoloft 15mg temazapam Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 I have read a lot about the ways that we can heal trauma to the brain from being on ssris - my question is - even though I had to updose after a bad and incomplete taper - will exercise and meditation and therapy help combat the withdrawal the next time around? Any ideas? I kniw it won't hurt but I am really curious to know if it will help *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Thank you everyone- Jlynn glad to hear you are stabilizing - I am on night 2 of my 15 and I feel much better- I do feel disappointed at being at 15 since I was good on 10 for so long - however I realize I am lucky - and Paxil works wonders for me - I am now at a point where my liver is being affected by this drug and maybe I will need a drug for the rest of my life & that's fine I just want a chance to see If I can make it on my own and then go in some thing less harsh on my liver should I need to in the future - super glad I found this site and Jlynns story - you have no idea that your story actually kept me from admitting Myself into the hospital - instead I reached out on here and I am so happy I did- I am still worried that the wd will come back - but I feel less alone - that's something I think is more important during this process than anything - forever grateful ❤️ *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Didn't sleep well last night- day 2 of my 5 mg updose- hopefully I will sleep tonight - no other issues aside from randomly sweating- *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Jlynn Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 My sleeping has been terrible since all this started and I had the worst hot cold flashes and night sweats. Sleeping still sucks but the sweating has subsided. 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Jlynn would you be interested in chatting? I just feel our situations are so similar we might be able to help each other - please don't feel obligated and if your not feeling emotionally strong enough right now I totally understand - also are you up to 25 mg right now? *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 I have been up to 15mg since the 23rd of April- I have horrible brain fog! It started the day after I updosed- It's driving me mad!!! I also have tinnitus with it- the tinnitus is really bad Anyone have this? Anyone find any relief for it? Any one who can relate?? *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 The brain fog/ depersonalization is not going away- this is really making me crazy - I don't know how long this is going to last for? How long do I wait to stabilize? It's been 2 weeks with no improvement- this only happened after I increased my dose - why would I feel worse after an updose? *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
nz11 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Sorry you are in a terrible postion. You have come to the right place Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 6, 2015 Administrator Share Posted May 6, 2015 VJ, it's impossible to tell what's causing your symptoms. Since you added the 5mg and after a bit, new symptoms arose, it could be 15mg is too much for you. You may wish to decrease to 14mg and see if symptoms reduce. Keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs. (Are you taking anything other than Paxil?) Does your doctor want to switch you to Prozac to go off Paxil? See The Prozac switch or "bridging" with Prozac How exactly is your liver being affected? Have you had liver function tests? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Thank you alto for replying!!! Yes she did liver function tests and my enzymes were high- after I reduced down to 7.25 liver started retuning to normal-I was on 10 mg and not doing so well and literally the day after I increased by 5 mg is when the brain fog started and it has not gone away at all- no patterns other than that- I do keep a journal of my symptoms - and loud ringing in my ears- yes doc said she would prescribe me something else if I wanted it- she always leaves it up to me with very little direction- I have only been at 15 for the past 2 weeks - talked to another person who stated it took her the better part of 3 weeks to stabilize - I'm not getting worse but I'm not getting any relief - I am making an appt tomorrow with a psychiatrist- hopefully I won't have to wait too long to get In to see them - no not on any other medications or suppliments - 2000 iu of Vit d3 every night due to low vitamin d levels - I just don't know how long to give it to see if it's helping or not - *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
nz11 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Sorry to be the party pooper here but what do you hope to get from a psychiatrist visit. These people do not and will not acknowledge wdl. They will have no trouble laelling you and giving you more drugs though. Whats the bet he will try to switch you to a different drug? and throw in a benzo for good measure....take as needed? Sorry VJ imo you will have to be patient ..some take several months to stabilze. You are best to follow the advice on this site. Hope you stabilize soon. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 6, 2015 Administrator Share Posted May 6, 2015 VJ, you seem to have a fixed idea that more of a drug is better. It could be you would feel better on less. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted May 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 7, 2015 I can relate to the knee jerk response of increasing too much in desperation - i have done it quite a few times. Fortunately for me after about 28 days i seem to stabilise - but it has meant that i have ended up on a dose higher than i probably have needed to be on. But we can only do what we feel we have to do to get through the tough times. I hope you can feel better soon Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted May 8, 2015 Author Share Posted May 8, 2015 Thank you so much Peggy- I have been patient(because of alto!!! And her advice which I am so glad she was here to give!!) and I appear to be stabilizing at 15mg- the brain fog is lifting - I'm not 100% yet but I feel better than I have in 2 weeks! - there is a psychiatric program at the iu medical center in my state and they are dedicated to assisting people in getting people off meds- my pdoc is very much in favor of psychotherapy over meds- I might mention that my doc and the psychiatrists she works with are all really young and are much more aware of wd compared to my old doc- I wanted to just update to let anyone who might have been in a similar situation. To be paitent and take care of yourself! I felt like hell and continued to exercise and meditate even through feeling horrible- it does get better - you can stabilize - now will be the long walk to tapering - thanks everyone *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 8, 2015 Administrator Share Posted May 8, 2015 Please tell us more about this center that gets people off meds. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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