pug Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Hello Everyone, How about a thread where we can share about any windows that we experience. So much of withdrawal and recovery has us intently focused on our suffering and our symptoms we need the hopeful message of those who are experiencing windows. I will start. I have been in a 3 day window of feeling at least 50% better! I just went through a long, hellacious wave that had me on the ropes and feeling desperate. And then suddenly the light switch was flipped and I feel almost like my old self, and it has given me renewed hope and some reassurance that I am healing. I don't know how long it will last but I am so thankful to have it. Who's next? 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveandLight Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 It feels like forever since my last window but the burden of all self-consciousness lifted and I could just get on with all tasks and not just surviving minute to minute...time seemed to flow, where now it feels stuck or slow. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mort81 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I like the idea of this thread. I have just passed the 11 month mark of WD. I can say I have been feeling more and more mental windows of hope that I will in the near future have a good day. Eventhough physically I am still overwhelmed by symptoms, my mind is becoming more hopeful that one day I will feel good again Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveandLight Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yay! Mort great! 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servadei Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I'm having one! It's lasting about 3 hours right now... I'm feeling comfortable in my skin, I was laughing with my friends and I have less intrusive thoughts. Also, I have derealization but I don't pay much attention to it. I just got home from work and I'm feeling tired...It's a great feeling, not exhausted from anxiety, my thoughts, dp/dr... Just normal human after work tired. Going to enjoy nice meal and tea and I might even take a hot bath! I think everyone here knows how hard it is to take a shower let alone bath. I had problems either being to exhausted to take a shower or not being able to stay under one longer than 10 mins. CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pug Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Mort and Servadei this is wonderful to hear! LoveandLight I am wishing and hoping my hardest that a window comes your way very very soon, you deserve it! 20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014 Found this forum the last day of 2014 The secret is to keep going! Time will heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelhead Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I recently was driving back home from golfing; its about a 30 minute drive. The weather here in the mid west has been very nice lately and I had all the windows down in my truck. I suddenly realized for a very brief 10 minute span that I had almost complete clarity in my thoughts and feelings then the fog in my brain and body slowly returned. It did not last very long but it was very refreshing for that brief period of time! It will be 4 years off for me in December of this year and I have only had one other time that I felt this way. Please don't get me wrong I have progressed significantly over this timespan but these moments of true clarity are very amazing and a glimpse of what will come. 1993 diagnosed with GAD (general anxiety disorder) Started Xanax (XR) 3-5 yrs?? Switched to Effexor 15 yrs?? Stopped Effexor / Started Xanax as needed never abused Two weeks cold turkey taper with SSRI bridge Reinstated SSRI July 2012 for 5 weeks. Discontinuation Syndrome Bad!!!!! Drug Free and Struggling!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horns85 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Two weeks ago I was driving home from work. It had been a extremely stressful week. I never would have imagined a window.(which is typically when they come)I was about halfway home and a sense of calm came over me. Suddenly all the symptoms that I would consistently worry about, I was no longer worried about. I was able to be happy about the upcoming weekend and the plans with my wife and daughter that evening. About 75% of my symptoms went away that night and the ones that remained, I could have cared less about. It lasted that evening and into Saturday afternoon with Saturday night still being pretty good. Sunday morning was good and all hell came back Sunday afternoon. It did give me hope and that was my longest window to date! More to come for all of us! Lexapro from October 2012-October 2014 10mg from Oct 2012-Feb 2013, 20mg from Feb 2013-June 2013, 10mg from July 2013-April 2014Began taper via liquid Lexapro from April 2014-September 2014(Roughly 6 month taper)---0.00 on Oct 1 2014--WD began in December 2014 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reinstated to 10mg - 10mg Tablet October 15, 2015 - Stable by Mid-January, 2016 2016 - 9mg 3/26/16....8mg 5/11/16....7mg 7/05/16....6mg 8/26/16....5mg 10/31/16 2017 - 4mg 3/06/17....3mg 6/24/17....2mg 9/07/17...1.25mg 10/21/17....1mg 11/04/2017 2018 - 0.75mg 1/21/18....0.5mg 2/18/18....0.25mg 3/13/18....0.125mg 3/27/18....0.000 4/9/18 Supplements - 15B probiotic on and off. Usually helps w/ mood but sometimes is too activating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mort81 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Thanks pug and love light. Maybe I need to emotionally feel better first. Than physically, wholeness can happen faster. Rather than just wait for symptoms to go away to feel better. Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockingchaircat Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 Resurrection. In the last 2.5 weeks I've had 3 windows lasting anywhere from 2 to 4 days (nights) in length. Now for me said 'window' involved not getting that sleep depriving aspect of Cortisol Spikes. Which meant- that during said windows- I had some nice indulgent and darned close to refreshing sleep. It mostly seems to have been a result of my getting rid of my morning coffee- though the supplements added (like omega-3) for example did or does seem to help. 1)Zoloft- 6/99 to 8/04 2)Escitalopram- 8/04 to 8/10 3)Citalopram 8/10 to 4/14 (C/T), 4)Paxil a week or so, 5)Wellbutrin a week or so, 6)Reinstated Citalopram- 9/14 to 7/15 Before Taper- Celexa/20 mg....Taper Start- 04/21/15- 15mg....05/26/15- 10 mg...06/22/15- 5 mg...07/18/15- 0mg. http://tinyurl.com/qjfoqe9 Ativan/Lorazepam use/taper 10/14 to 2/15- http://tinyurl.com/ljebp84 Baclofen- Intermittent use of from 2008 till 2014. Some use of Promethazine. Some use of Zofran. Clobetasol Propionate- for Lichen Planus. Some Flexeril use. Ativan- GABA,A receptor Agonist., Baclofen- GABA,B receptor Agonist., Celexa/Lexapro- Serotonin 5-HT1A Receptor Agonist., Zofran- Serotonin 5-HT3 Receptor Agonist..Promethazine- Histamine H1-Receptor Antagonist. Flexeril- Serotonin 5HT2a Antagonist. My self imposed Amino Acid Therapy: Tyrosine 500mg 1xday, Theanine 200 mg 1xday, & Taurine 500 mg 2x day. (All neurotransitter pre-cursors)- seems to have helped me immensely. And of course- eating healthy, including Black Beans for the oligosaccharides for gut health. The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the Art of Living. - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junglechicken Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I have learned that I can be in heaven and hell at the same time living through the whole W/D thing. When I walk in the glorious countryside and listen to the birds singing and see the animals grazing in their fields, the bunnies and the spring flowers in bloom I know I'm in heaven. Then my W/D mind will kick in and torment me as well as my current physical symptoms. I might also start crying mid-walk at the absurdity of my life which doesn't seem real. I said a prayer on my walk today. Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted March 22, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 22, 2016 Well, I can dream about yard work being fun and having none of the self consciousness mentioned above. While contemplating snowflakes and loving March weather. My last window, I mean real window of length was spurred on by crisis........or so it felt. Lasted a couple of months, at least. I can........however............find a few moments now the last couple of days...........precious window moments of peace............it's enough. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022, and again finally 5/25/24. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mort81 Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 I had a window a month ago where I thought all the really bad days were over. It was amazing I actually was at piece and wasn't scared anymore. Well a few days later a vigorous massage triggered a massive wave. But im hoping ill get back to that window soon Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockSie Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 So happy for you mort The next window will come! Stay strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junglechicken Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I think I'm in a window now and have been for the last 2 weeks (minus all of the hormonal crap that comes having my TOTM). Also, I agree with Mort that improving one's emotional/mental disposition can induce a window as this is what happened to me 2 weeks ago. Its because of this that I believe in Echart Tohls "Pain Body" teachings - thanks SG and friends. Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottly9999 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 Hi Guys This is a GREAT idea, to try and focus on the positives, as opposed to wallowing in the negatives all the time. I've had some nice windows. Sometimes they last for a while, and feel symptom free. My most recent one was the best though. While tapering from Lexapro 2mg to 1.8mg - using liquid. THe bottle was about 4 months old, and although I started to get a few bizarre sensations - I started to - very slightly - feel unmedicated - like the world seemed more real and I felt more connected to it. Little things, like I cared and enjoyed how the light danced in the back room - as the sun was setting through our palm trees - I remember enjoying that previously (before meds). Small sense of satisfaction from doing just a small job also. It wasn't as though I was more happy, just felt more real, and felt like emotions were starting to bubble up again. It gave me massive hope that I'll return to normal - once I'm done - and once my nervous system is ready. 2008 (approx) Lexapro 10mg. 2009 attempted cold turkey 5mg for 2 weeks - crash and burn. 2009 back on 10mg. 2012 - pooped out - but didn't know. 2014 - poop-out got worse. 2014 sept 20mg, 2014 oct 15mg, 2014 nov 10mg 2014 dec 7.5mg, 2014 dec 23rd crashed. Dec 24th 10mg - trying to stabilize 2015 Jan Stabilized as much as thought I would, 2015 Jan 9mg, 2015 Late Feb, 8mg, 2015 late Mar 7mg. 22nd May 6.3mg 2015 small "slide" down to 6mg. 19th June 5mg. 15th Aug 4.5mg - slid down to 4mg. Sept 20th 3.8mg. 2015 gradual decrease between Oct and Nov 10th to 3mg: Dec between 3-2mg. 2016 Jan15th 2mg Feb: 1.8mg, somewhere got to 1.6mg. 2016 Feb 25th crashed! Not sure if sick or WD, back to 2mg. 2016 During March - gradual decrease to 1.8mg, then 1.5mg. April 19th 1mg 2016 June 8th 0.8mg July 1st 0.6mg: Sept 0.4mg (long hold) 2017 Jan 0.2mg 2017 May 0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mort81 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Thanks Rocksie!! I think Ive gotten back to my pre massage form. Doing better ! Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus Dan998 Posted May 1, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 1, 2016 I notice that hope returns when I'm in a window. I can image a future again. I have a belief that my life will get better and I can start to make plans about how I'm going to get there. I get more motivation to do things that I've been putting off for ages. I almost get a sense of enjoyment, almost, but not quite. Another noticeable thing about windows is that my eyesight usually becomes clearer, colours seem much more vivid and I can see more fine details than usual. 2001: 20mg paroxetine2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg; Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg; 05Mar-0.9mg; 15Mar-0.8mg; 22Mar-0.7mg; 02Apr-0.6; 09Apr-0.5mg; 16Apr-0.4mg; 23Apr-0.3; 03May-0.2mg; 10May-0.1mg Finished taper 17 May 2017. Read my success story I am not a medical professional. The information I provide is not medical advice. If in doubt please consult with a qualified healthcare provider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjau Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 This is a great thread topic! My last window was yesterday a couple of hours. I had been really tired that day, zombie like. After resting and after having something to eat I suddenly felt better. The fog literally lifted from my head. It is such a wonderful feeling when that happens! It was truly joyful - like being back in life as an active participant. Today hasn't been as good a day and especially the last two hours I have been quite depressed. I am glad I found this thread right now in the middle of a wave. I'm feeling a little bit more hopeful again that the window will come back :-) 1997-1999 Citalopram 20 mg 1999-2014 Sertraline 50 mg 2012 Sertraline very quick taper due to side effects. Switched to Wellbutrin 150 mg-300 mg. Reinstated Sertraline 25 mg-50 mg. 2013 Exhaustion. Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sertraline 75 mg-100 mg. Sept 2014 Found this site. Started tapering. Sertraline 87,5 mg + Wellbutrin 150 mg Aug 2015 No more Wellbutrin!! Sertraline 50 mg 2016 Sertraline 35 mg (January) - 33 mg (March 21st) - 32,5 mg (July 11) - 32 mg (July 27) 2017 March 28,2 mg and holding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottly9999 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I'm also feeling like I'm just coming into a window. Had a rotten wave for last few weeks. This window feels a bit different too - as I'm stabilizing on a much lower dose, I can feel my mind is much clearer and more "connected". Feeling more contented as opposed to MEH - or nothing. Had a good sleep last night too - which has obviously helped. It feels like when you're almost drowning in a wave that it's going to be forever - you can't remember what a normal feeling should feel like. You also seem to remember ONLY the times you've felt lousy. It's so hard to remember the good times, but you just need to TRUST it will be ok. 2008 (approx) Lexapro 10mg. 2009 attempted cold turkey 5mg for 2 weeks - crash and burn. 2009 back on 10mg. 2012 - pooped out - but didn't know. 2014 - poop-out got worse. 2014 sept 20mg, 2014 oct 15mg, 2014 nov 10mg 2014 dec 7.5mg, 2014 dec 23rd crashed. Dec 24th 10mg - trying to stabilize 2015 Jan Stabilized as much as thought I would, 2015 Jan 9mg, 2015 Late Feb, 8mg, 2015 late Mar 7mg. 22nd May 6.3mg 2015 small "slide" down to 6mg. 19th June 5mg. 15th Aug 4.5mg - slid down to 4mg. Sept 20th 3.8mg. 2015 gradual decrease between Oct and Nov 10th to 3mg: Dec between 3-2mg. 2016 Jan15th 2mg Feb: 1.8mg, somewhere got to 1.6mg. 2016 Feb 25th crashed! Not sure if sick or WD, back to 2mg. 2016 During March - gradual decrease to 1.8mg, then 1.5mg. April 19th 1mg 2016 June 8th 0.8mg July 1st 0.6mg: Sept 0.4mg (long hold) 2017 Jan 0.2mg 2017 May 0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottly9999 Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 Hi Guys Currently in a window now - much needed after horrible wave recently. But each new window I get, I feel even less medicated. It's only in those windows that I can see how NUMBED I have been for so long on the SSRI's. Little glimpses of caring about my surroundings and feeling more connected to my body and environment. and even little bits of feeling CONTENTED! It's lovely. HOpe it lasts! 2008 (approx) Lexapro 10mg. 2009 attempted cold turkey 5mg for 2 weeks - crash and burn. 2009 back on 10mg. 2012 - pooped out - but didn't know. 2014 - poop-out got worse. 2014 sept 20mg, 2014 oct 15mg, 2014 nov 10mg 2014 dec 7.5mg, 2014 dec 23rd crashed. Dec 24th 10mg - trying to stabilize 2015 Jan Stabilized as much as thought I would, 2015 Jan 9mg, 2015 Late Feb, 8mg, 2015 late Mar 7mg. 22nd May 6.3mg 2015 small "slide" down to 6mg. 19th June 5mg. 15th Aug 4.5mg - slid down to 4mg. Sept 20th 3.8mg. 2015 gradual decrease between Oct and Nov 10th to 3mg: Dec between 3-2mg. 2016 Jan15th 2mg Feb: 1.8mg, somewhere got to 1.6mg. 2016 Feb 25th crashed! Not sure if sick or WD, back to 2mg. 2016 During March - gradual decrease to 1.8mg, then 1.5mg. April 19th 1mg 2016 June 8th 0.8mg July 1st 0.6mg: Sept 0.4mg (long hold) 2017 Jan 0.2mg 2017 May 0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntd Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 I had a wonderful three day window. I actually wanted to do things and found myself randomly cleaning things, and I don't like to clean!! My mind felt so clear which was nice since I have felt like my memory has been about two seconds long recently. I enjoyed spending time outside with my dog. We played with the water hose wich is her favorite thing to do. She was happy and soaking wet. I was even laughing and completly absorbed in the moment. It was wonderful. I was able to get out of the house and not feel overstimulated which is a first for me. Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage. Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady 11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x 01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able; 09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day. 1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg. 5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waiting12 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Bumping a good positive thread. I haven't had any symptom free windows yet but I enjoy reading about them for hope. 2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.Drug free 12-16-2016Month 1-20: +5% healing every monthMonth 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 11, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2017 Hi everyone, tntd that sounds awesome! I want to share about some improvements I've seen, in the hopes that it will inspire people: During my windows, which are getting better and better (so if you're out there reading this and feeling despair, hold on!!!!!) - I feel clearer than I have in years - I am way more able to focus - I am much more able to remember things and "hold" things in my brain, which is very exciting because I didn't even realize it was a problem on SSRIs. I think for a long time I had a low-level "confusion," which I wouldn't even say was confusion-- just a feeling like, for example, at Christmas, not really being 100% clear about who I had bought gifts for, what remained to be done, even looking at a list, I would kind of have this "???" feeling. I wouldn't have called it confusion; I wouldn't have even called it anything because it was just the way I felt. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntd Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Skyblue, I'm so happy to hear that your windows are getting better and better. I'm so excited for you. I also have that low level confusion you speak of. Mine comes and goes though so I'm aware of it when I have it, well I think I am anyway I had one window in December. It was only part of the day but it was long enough that I was able to get out, I have agoraphobia and am housebound except during windows, and buy a massage for my husband for Christmas. It was so nice to be out with people and not have any anxiety about it. It felt so good to feel like me. Wishing wonderful windows to everyone. Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage. Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady 11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x 01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able; 09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day. 1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg. 5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 14, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 14, 2017 Thank you, and hope you continue to get better too! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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