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sunnyc: Losing hope


sunnyc

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I had postpartum depression 30 years ago. I experienced full recovery after 6 months without any meds. I do, however, think this experience left me with a fear of it ever coming back, i.e. fear of panic and anxiety.

 

About 10 years ago, I had some anxiety (which I now think was partially hormone related) but anyway, Doc put me on Citalopram, 10 mg/ I took it  for a year with success,  then up to 20mg for 6 years. It worked as I didn't have any panic attacks or severe anxiety during that time. Then it stopped working 3 years ago and I had horrible symptoms. My anxiety was out of control. I felt like I had the flu for months and terrible GI problems. Went to docs to check for other problems and she went back to the anxiety dx. She upped my dose to 40 mg. Again, it worked OK, the worst of the anxiety was gone.

 

Then BOOM. In March 2016 I went into my worst panic ever. I lost myself and became a bag of nerves who couldn't function.I was so bad, and I got mad and blamed the pills for doing a 180 on me  I just stopped taking the meds as soon as I ran out). Cold turkey. Bad decision. I simply spiraled into hell. Symptoms I never had before came to try to kill me. Depersonalization, internal shakes, brain zaps, flu like symptoms, no energy, night sweats, weight loss, burning body, anxiety like never before, etc. I tried to explain it to my husband, and they only thing I could tell him was that i felt like I was poisoned. 

 

Long story but from here to there I have lost myself completely. . After a few months of this, I went back to my doc and she said my withdraw symptoms should be gone and I'm just back to being anxious. (Like never before mind you)  She put me on Prozac and I had a horrible reaction. Almost suicidal. 

 

Not on anything now and feeling like I'll never be well. I'm in hell. My physical and mental symptoms are sometimes, too often, unbearable.

 

I am a happily married 58 year old with awesome kids and a life I love....or would love if I was capable of coping. These horrible symptoms have taken all of my joy away. I have so much to live for and get well for, but i can't find the way out. My future is promising, but looks like just more torture from where I'm standing. 

 

It seems quitting cold turkey screwed me up pretty bad. Wish I never would have taken these drugs. I never, ever felt this bad in my life. About to give up. 

 

So, here I am. I am afraid of reintroducing drugs for fear of them making me worse. I've tried lots of minerals, vitamins, yoga, hypnosis, accupunture, meditation, prayer, healthy eating, exercising, mindfulness, reading, and more. But, while some have kept me from going over the edge, there has been no real relief. Today I resorting to taking a Xanax to make it through an event I had to attend,

 

Sorry for the rant, I would so appreciate any advice or suggestions. 

 

Bless you all

 

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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I'm so sorry you are suffering like this I was on the same drug and also had all the same symptoms and a few extra. We are almost the same age and it feels so cruel that we need to go though these things now. I lost near on 20kg in 3 years that I could not afford to in the first place but I think it's withdrawal related. Cold turkey is very hard but when u don't get told by Drs we don't know these things. It does get better but very very slowly. I did a lot of Epsom salts in a warm bath. And used lavender oil I was to scared to uses any tablets for pain or anxiety. Stay strong you can do this

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It is wonderful to meet you sunnyc! Your story is heart-wrenching. I'm so so sorry you are suffering so badly. I hope that this site and the combined wisdom here can help to find your way back to being able to enjoy your life xxxx

 

When I read "After a few months of this, I went back to my doc and she said my withdraw symptoms should be gone and I'm just back to being anxious" I felt a sudden desire to grab this doctor and give him/her a good shake!!

 

Maybe a good start for help with your symptoms would be reading through this thread: non drug techniques to coping with emotional symptoms

 

xxxmollyn

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Sunnyc, and welcome to SA,

 

You're in the right place for information and being able to talk to people who know what you're going through.  After over a year since your CT it's very unlikely that a reinstatement would work, although in rare cases it does.  Molly has the right idea with learning non-drug coping tools - speaking from experience they really do make a difference.  That, and time. 

 

Can you write a signature so we can see your details easily whenever you post?  Thanks. 

 

Hopefully once you've been here for a while you'll see that even though the path is long and hard, you will get to healing in the end. 

 

Hugs,

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Don't worry about ranting and ventilating withdrawal frustration in here. If that were prohibited there would be like 95 % less posters and readers. I, for one appreciate the authenticity and the will of all people here to stay human in the face of the utter adversity of antidepressant withdrawal.

 

Welcome to the forum, and hopefully you can see some light at the end of the tunnel or at least during the middle of it that gives you resolve and serenity to keep going.

 

 

Name LostInTheWoods evokes both the feeling of getting stranded, forsaken and alone in an alien, hostile environment and the chance to experience awareness, tranquility and self-discovery during the experience. Just call me Lost in the posts.

 

February 2012. After a crisis, a crippling anxiety that culminated in a panic attack. Started 20 mg Paxil and Clonazepam.

Clonazepam left quickly in the 2nd attempt.

About about a year on 20 mg, begin tapering.

June 2014, after several weeks on 5 mg and trying to dose down, went CT.

May 2015.Anxiety came back again, went to psychiatrist back. Fluoxetine was tried and left because of bad reaction, returned to paroxetine. Start tapering in mid 2016.

December 2016. After like 2 months of going 2,5 mg, stopped paroxetine.

Truth to be told, descended into a downward spiral of caffeine, alcohol and masturbation.

January  26, 2017. Wave with some tinnitus that was fixed by a visit to the ENT.

April 21, 2017. Acid reflux at night was a stressor that triggered another wave.Vices have been put into check and only a drink or two a week remain.

By May 7 stabilized with a little anxiety left and some pains.

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  • Administrator

Welcome, sunnyc.

 

Do your symptoms have any daily pattern? How's your sleep?

 

Have your symptoms gradually changed and become less severe since you went off 40mg citalopram a year ago?

 

Are you taking any other drugs? Any supplements now?

 

Two supplements that tend to help are:

 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

How did you do with these? Magnesium can be relaxing and calming.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you everyone. I really appreciate you. To answer some of your questions:

I am somewhat better than I was a year ago. That is, I haven't had the major heat flash (use to emcompass my whole body) or complete panic for about 6 months. I even have some normal feeling days. Yesterday, for some unknown reason (that I wish I could bottle), I felt completely normal for several hours. I was ME again. I didn't get too excited about it, but just enjoyed it. I had calm, energy, an appetite, hope, etc. Then, when I went to bed, just as I was falling asleep. the inner shakes happened. I woke up the sick, crazy me. Today was horrible. Rapid heartbeat, dizzy, depersonalization, exhaustion, overwhelmed, despair, and more. I still go to work feeling like this and just fake it. Dang it. I sure liked yesterday a lot and wish with all of my heart I could return to that ME.

 

I am taking fish oil, magensium, and Vitamin D. I resort to taking OTC Benadryl when it gets too much. I take Melatonin at night.

 

I do panic with any physical symptom and am sure I have a disease or affliction of some sort that will kill me soon. So health anxiety has been thrown in here. Today a chest cold is coming on, so that threw me for a loop. Ridiculous how I overreact. Everything is such a big deal!

 

Question: Could my antidepressant stop working suddenly like it felt it did? And, could withdraw really torture me this long? Geez! I think my last pill was August 2016

And this is my health anxiety talking here, but is there a disease or illness that mimics this anxiety, crazy stuff?

 

Again, thank you and bless you and I hope you all find full recovery from this torment.

 

CS

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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Your nervous system is all shaken up after all that, taking a Xanex could do more harm than good.

I'd get a high quality fish oil and some magnesium as those have been known to help the brain heal. Unfortunately, time is one of the best healers.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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Time? I wonder if I could have some assurance of the time frame I would feel more hope.

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Quote

Question: Could my antidepressant stop working suddenly like it felt it did?

Yes, we call it poop out, or tachyphylaxis

 

And, could withdraw really torture me this long?

Sadly yes


And this is my health anxiety talking here, but is there a disease or illness that mimics this anxiety, crazy stuff?

Some illnesses mimic some of the symptoms but this is a nervous system that has been shook up by psychiatric drugs and all the changes that go along with them. 

 

Time? I wonder if I could have some assurance of the time frame I would feel more hope.

 

Everyone is different, each person heals in their own time. Some take years and others months. 

 

You are doing great Sunny, you are having windows of normality which is a really good sign that you are healing and on the mend. 

You will get better, I wish I could tell you when that will be but I can't. It could be so gradual that you barely notice then suddenly remember how bad you were, like you said in your post that you are better than a year ago. You could have some time where you feel great, then go back to feeling rotten for a while. That is how recovery happens for most people. The windows can get longer and the waves shorter. How often do you take xanax? They can cause rebound anxiety and interdose withdrawal if taken more than once a week or so. They are highly addictive and might help withdrawal in the short term but then become a bigger problem than the problem they treating, if that makes sense. 

 

Topic on windows and waves

 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

You will recover, there are many success stories that will give you hope here. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-withdrawal/

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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I rarely take the Xanax. It just adds to the problem. It makes me feel so numb and off. When it wears off I'm more anxious. So, the doc, who gave me 60 per month-yikes, is an idiot. They do not help me. I did take two one time when I thought I was going off the edge for sure. It knocked me out for a while, but no problems were solved. I resort to OTC Benadryl if I'm having a bad day, but I can only have good days when I'm on nothing at all I've noticed.

 

You guys rock. Give yourselves a hug. Pretty happy I found this site. 

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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Welcome to SA. Sunny, are you on any other sites? I feel like I have met you before in my travels.

 

Please be careful with the Benadryl and limit it's use as it can complicate matters.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi Sunnyc,

it is both so comforting as well as heartbreaking to know that there are soooo many people out there suffering the same horrendous s***.

Sometimes I think that if i could be sure that any AD would just work 4-ever I'd leave this withdrawal hell behind me and be done with it. That's the real frustrating part I guess...to feel stuck. You don't want to go back to the meds as well as you feel like you can't go on like this any longer.

 

There is nothing left to do than to get through this and to do all the best things for ourselves, so recovery may come rather soomer than later. Though all we can do is not to drive ourselves insane and not to put pressure on us. Well. So easy and sooo impossible as well;)

 

as for your question "can it torture me this long"... I ask myself the same one occasionally although I know by now that that's possible:( I'm off 1.5 years and I had a few months where I was already convinced that I am over the worst and BAM, having a really hard window for quite a few weeks now. And then I am sometimes convinced that I am just nuts and that I will never ever get better - as almost everybody does when being in a bad wave. But there's soooo many success stories out there!!! they are proof that no matter how much some people suffered- they DID recover! And you say that you are "somewhat better" than a year ago. Well, there you have it:) you are slowly improving! You've been through a lot! high dosage and then cold turkey, wow! considering this, you are recovering fast I'd say:)

 

I hope you'll get a good window soon so that you can see all the good that has happened again! and may your recovery come as quickly as possible!

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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What a fantastic post Pepita - and I second all of that! xxx

 

Drug history

  • 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use  
  • 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 
  • 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous

Withdrawal history:

  • March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper
  • Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster
  • Sept 2015 -  10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief
  • Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper 
  • Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended)

 

I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Thanks, Pepita and everyone else. Yes, some days I don't think I can do it and think I will just go back on some AD or meds. Haven't resorted to that yet and keep plugging away. It's **** for sure. I lost me in the process. The glimpses I get are comforting and so great. The setbacks are sometimes almost unbearable. I am so tired, weak, anxious, unmotivated, and worst of all, don't have the capacity to love anything like I used to.

 

It was so strange to have a normal day pop up out of nowhere last Monday. It was such an easy, breezy, beautiful day. I was just me again, Sadly, by the next morning I was back into hell and it hasn't left me yet.

 

AliG: I am on a FB DARE site, so did you meet me there? 

 

Hope you're all having a beautiful, brave day.

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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9 months off of Citolapram and feel horrible. I've had very few windows, but they sure are nice when they show up. My brain zaps, night sweats, panic attacks, and depersonalization are mostly gone. Now I'm left with sadness, anxiety, flu-like feelings, exhaustion, anger, back pain, stabbing muscle pain sometimes, congestion, allergies I've never had before, and just plan yucky feeling.

 

Yes, I went off cold turkey and my doc thought nothing of it. I knew I could handle 8 weeks of hell, but now this is getting ridiculous. Geez!

 

My life is pretty much hell everyday (despite my having a dream life of awesome kids, husband, house, friends, etc). 

 

Doc wants to start me on Prozac to ease the symptoms. YIKES, YIKES, YIKES.

 

I am simply terrified of taking anything in fear of getting worse. I am also terrified of being this sick forever or dying of these symptoms.

 

I'm not strong enough to keep this up forever.

 

Thanks for you advice. I really need help today.

 

Scared and freaking out,

 

CS

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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Hi SunnyC -

 

How are you doing today? I just discovered your intro thread and thought I would add my support and prayers.

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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Thank SJ: Struggling through. No energy, back ache, depression, and I think I have a sinus infection now so that's not helping. Your prayers mean the world to me. Thank you so much. 

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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Sorry you are struggling, especially with secondary illnesses like the sinus infection.

 

As for the backache - it could actually be related to the withdrawal. These drugs we used cause adrenal fatigue; we are pushing out so much cortisol that our adrenals are exhausted and over-taxed.

 

Use a very low heat heating pad on your back. Do not overdo it. 20-30 minutes at a time is enough. Also, do VERY gentle stretching. VERY GENTLE.

 

You also need to cut out refined carbs like white pasta, white rice, and sugar.

 

I also drink what is referred to as The Adrenal Cocktail. Mix 4 oz of orange juice with 1/2-teaspoon of Cream of Tartar and 1/2-teaspoon of Sea Salt.

 

It's an acquired taste! But the vitamin c and balance of potassium and sodium, plus the micronutrients in the sea salt are supposed to strengthen the adrenals.

 

You can use other 100% juices, but citrus they say is best.

 

DO NOT use regular table salt. It lacks the micronutrients.

 

I see from your signature that you are using a cortisol reducer. May I ask the name? I am extremely supplement sensitive right now, but it might be helpful to me in the future.

 

Most of all, know that you will heal. Positivity is very helpful in our circumstances.

 

Be well.

 

SJ

 

MODERATOR'S NOTE: IMPORTANT!!  PLEASE CLICK ON BELOW LINK REGARDING THE "ADRENAL COCKTAIL" FOR THOSE WITH HEALTH ISSUES:

 

Edited by Skeeter
Moderator's note added

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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  • 3 weeks later...

As per my intro, I was on Citalopram for over 10 years at 20 mg then upped for 3 years to 40 ( I think). My life become beyond stressful with very ill parents, a really mean boss, kids moving to another state, husband's major surgery, etc March 2016.  I felt like my SSRI just wasn't working at all and being in a super anxious and freaked out state, I just stopped them after my doc wouldn't refill without an appointment. I was very ignorant about SSRI withdraw and so went cold turkey. During the stupid cold turkey decision, I lost my mother in law and step dad and started to have to care for my mother. So stress on top of withdraw.

 

I then had the brain zaps and the other myriad anxiety symptoms that were complete and total hell. I mean hell.

 

10 months after stopping cold turkey I am still suffering horribly. My life (not being dramatic) is over. I am sick 24/7 with anxiety and panic and feeling like I have the flu some days and deep depressions other days.  I am so mean and angry (not like me) and consistently bite my husband's head off. I don't have any motivation to do anything. I shake and barely get through each day. I am so weak and down in the dumps.

 

I have a great life with an amazing family and loads of fun stuff I should be looking forward to. I've always been a go getter with an anxious undertone, but never so anxious I couldn't function. 

 

********I really want to reinstate and have it take the edge off. I'm not able to do this any longer. Oh, I wish I could hear from anyone who reinstated after this time and was successful, I so need a buddy. LOL.

 

I've done all the natural stuff to try and help, And I mean ALL. But, while some help a bit, nothing has put me back on track

 

The only windows I had were two days of being totally and completely normal. It was as though someone injected me with the "normal human" serum and it lasted about 12 hours/ Then boom, I was re-injected with the serum that was full of every bad mental and physical symptom known to man. My last window was May 16th.

1987 March, two weeks on something when I suffered from postpartum depression, Symptoms were anxiety and depersonalization. No one really knew about PPD at the time, so I did my own research (old school at the library) and found a doctor, Katrina Dalton, who wrote one of the books on PPD. She helped me find natural progesterone and it was a huge help.
2005: Put on Citalopram. 20 mg 

2010: Upped the dose to 40 mg.

2014: Big crash, upped the dose to 60 mg. Seemed to do the trick. 

March 2016: I hit bottom. Quit meds cold turkey. Blamed it on too many drugs in my systems with stressful events too.

2017: Taking magnesium, Vitamin D, Fish Oil, a cortisol reducer from Whole Foods, and drinking loads of water. Suffering terribly from anxiety, racing thoughts, internal shakes, depression (never had that before quitting), lethargy, angry brain, loss of appetite, frequent colds, and flu like symptoms off and on. Health anxiety from all the symptoms.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

We've got a one introduction topic per "customer" rule so that all your information, questions and answers are in one place.  I've merged the new topic you started with your introduction topic.

 

It can take many months, sadly too often more than 10 or 12, to recover after a cold-turkey stop. Windows and waves is a pattern that starts at different times for people. You seem to be in the unlucky group that experiences a prolonged wave of difficult symptoms without windows.

 

You may want to browse the topics in the Success Stories forum. There are stories of people who have discontinued cold-turkey, gone through difficult withdrawals and FINALLY come through to feeling recovered.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Also, those two days are a nice little package of proof that your brain is sorting things out.  Bloody hard though to keep going through months of hard slog.  My husband is in a similar state in terms of months of sheer awfulness.  No windows yet.  But they will come, I keep telling him.  And you will get more too. 

 

The conversations in these threads might be useful:

Did reinstatement work for you? and of course Reinstating and Stabilising to Stabilise

 

You could even post in the threads of the members who wrote in those reinstatement threads more recently, and discuss with them further. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Cherish the memory of those blissful days of normal function, so in dark times you can remember them as evidence of future bright days to come.

 

Also, I would suggest you to ask a moderator to change your intro title. "Losing hope" is a total downer, like setting you to feel bad whenever you turn off the laptop, open the browser and get ready to report any progress. "Sunnyc: keeping with hope" or "on the road back" will be far more pleasing to update.

 

(admitedly, I could be accused of the same, In my defense, forests are amazing!).

Name LostInTheWoods evokes both the feeling of getting stranded, forsaken and alone in an alien, hostile environment and the chance to experience awareness, tranquility and self-discovery during the experience. Just call me Lost in the posts.

 

February 2012. After a crisis, a crippling anxiety that culminated in a panic attack. Started 20 mg Paxil and Clonazepam.

Clonazepam left quickly in the 2nd attempt.

About about a year on 20 mg, begin tapering.

June 2014, after several weeks on 5 mg and trying to dose down, went CT.

May 2015.Anxiety came back again, went to psychiatrist back. Fluoxetine was tried and left because of bad reaction, returned to paroxetine. Start tapering in mid 2016.

December 2016. After like 2 months of going 2,5 mg, stopped paroxetine.

Truth to be told, descended into a downward spiral of caffeine, alcohol and masturbation.

January  26, 2017. Wave with some tinnitus that was fixed by a visit to the ENT.

April 21, 2017. Acid reflux at night was a stressor that triggered another wave.Vices have been put into check and only a drink or two a week remain.

By May 7 stabilized with a little anxiety left and some pains.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Nice ideas.  LostintheWoods - you could be Healinginthewoods.

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator Emeritus
On ‎5‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 2:25 PM, ShakeyJerr said:

 

I also drink what is referred to as The Adrenal Cocktail. Mix 4 oz of orange juice with 1/2-teaspoon of Cream of Tartar and 1/2-teaspoon of Sea Salt.

 

It's an acquired taste! But the vitamin c and balance of potassium and sodium, plus the micronutrients in the sea salt are supposed to strengthen the adrenals.

 

You can use other 100% juices, but citrus they say is best.

 

DO NOT use regular table salt. It lacks the micronutrients.

 

Most of all, know that you will heal. Positivity is very helpful in our circumstances.

 

Be well.

 

SJ

 

 

MODERATOR’S NOTE REGARDING THE “ADRENAL COCKTAIL” FOR THOSE WITH HEALTH ISSUES:

If you are healthy, cream of tartar (aka potassium tartarate) at 1 tsp/day total = 500mg (1/2 tsp 2x/day) with OJ should provide no harm at all. Daily amount needed 3400mg.
Those suffering from Addison’s disease, diabetes, acute renal failure, are on dialysis, or for those undergoing treatments that prevent the excretion of potassium from the body through urine should not use cream of tartar.  If you suffer from any cardiac, kidney, or electrolyte issues, or suffer from severe low blood pressure, or multiple health conditions you are medicated for, you should consult with your doctor/HCP before adding extra potassium bitartrate to your daily diet. When speaking to your HCP, please give both names: cream of tartar, & potassium bitartrate.

Current meds: Lexapro 20mg, Valium 6.25mg
Current status: September 2018 forced to go down to 10mg of Valium/Diazepam from around 15mg, with the plan to have me totally of in 2 more months. I was not given a chance to give input at tapering at this speed, please go much, much slower. Luckily I found a new doctor, but was thrown off course by my rapid taper, as of 2/19 am down to 6.25mg, and am stable. Will update with dates of taper ASAP.
Read my history here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12819-skeeters-journey/

   
I am NOT a doctor. My opinions are just that- MY opinions, based on my personal experiences and research, but your experience and reactions may differ greatly, we are all different! I maintain that a doctor educated in withdrawal is the best place to get info or to get the "go ahead" before changing your medications in any way!

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