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Hellbutrin: Wellbutrin nightmare - advice welcome

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Hellbutrin

Topic title:  This numb feeling is getting exhausting

 

I know the typical coping mechanism of distraction, distraction, distraction works in most cases. But lately I've been feeling so hopeless that I'll ever get back to feeling "normal". This utterly numb feeling is so exhausting. Anybody having luck with their feelings coming back after a C/T? I'm encroaching on the 2 year mark and still no deviation with this symptom. 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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ChessieCat

I've moved the new topic to your Introduction.  Posting your progress is best done in your Intro topic so that it keeps your history in one place.  It also becomes a case study for any medical professionals reading SA:

 

On 5/15/2011 at 5:22 AM, Altostrata said:

MISSION OF SURVIVINGANTIDEPRESSANTS.ORG

 

Surviving Antidepressants is a site for peer support, documentation, and education of withdrawal symptoms and withdrawal syndrome caused by psychiatric drugs, specifically antidepressants.

The participants on this site have all experienced or are experiencing difficulty in withdrawal from psychiatric medications. We offer peer support to those who are similarly suffering, drawing from our personal experiences.

(No posting on this site should be construed as medical advice. For medical advice, consult a trusted medical caregiver.)

The personal stories on this site are documentation of an iatrogenic condition -- suffering caused by medical treatment -- that is almost always ignored, misdiagnosed, or denied by the medical establishment. Given the widespread prescription of antidepressants to tens of millions of people worldwide, withdrawal syndrome probably affects hundreds of thousands if not millions -- including newborns and children.

Antidepressant withdrawal syndrome can last weeks, months, or years. It can be distressing, debilitating, or even disabling. It may be adding to an increase in what is termed disabling mental illness.

With our documentation of antidepressant withdrawal syndrome, we hope to educate the medical establishment about this problem. Case studies are essential; they are evidence understood by doctors, the psychiatric industry, and government regulatory agencies.

Our hope is, eventually, antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs will be prescribed rarely, and only in cases of extremely severe mental illness after less invasive treatments have been tried.

Please join Surviving Antidepressants in its mission to support, document, and educate about psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome.

 

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Altostrata
On 4/11/2019 at 5:01 PM, Hellbutrin said:

Topic title:  This numb feeling is getting exhausting

 

I know the typical coping mechanism of distraction, distraction, distraction works in most cases. But lately I've been feeling so hopeless that I'll ever get back to feeling "normal". This utterly numb feeling is so exhausting. Anybody having luck with their feelings coming back after a C/T? I'm encroaching on the 2 year mark and still no deviation with this symptom. 

 

 

Okay, I think we've answered this before. What was the answer, do you remember?

 

If I were you, I'd take up some relaxation techniques, also a bite guard and self-massage or something for the TMJ. I'm sorry this seems so much work, but that's self-care for you.

 

Read these topics:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)

 

Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement

 

Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

and other topics in

 

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glasspitcher

I too have the emotional numbness, I wish I tapered properly. I was on SSRI though. Is it possible to reinstate after 8 months actually? I just want my feelings back........ I could deal with any withdrawal symptom except this one because life is so pointless without emotions.

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Hellbutrin

I'm at 25 months since my C/T and still experience constant depression and DP/DR. I'm going into see a TMJ specialist tomorrow to have a surgeon reassess my dislocated TMJ. It's been three years in August since I woke up and it was dislocated, and I've started experience neck, shoulder and back pain that I feel might be related. I haven't seen any change in my DP/DR in two years so this is probably a battle that I'll continue to fight. I feel like my life is on hold. 

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Altostrata
On 2/16/2019 at 11:49 AM, Altostrata said:

Medical doctors will leap to surgery for a lot of conditions that can be corrected by physical therapy, because they are not well-informed about it.

 

No more discussion of TMJ in Hellbutrin's topic until she reports trying self-care, including stretching and self-massage, or seeks physical therapy for TMJ.

 

No more complaining instead of self-care.

 

What came of your seeking physical therapy or self-care for the TMJ? Sorry about symptoms that might be related to PAWS -- or they may be related to whatever postural and circulation issues brought on TMJ.

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Hellbutrin
18 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

What came of your seeking physical therapy or self-care for the TMJ? Sorry about symptoms that might be related to PAWS -- or they may be related to whatever postural and circulation issues brought on TMJ.

I had the appointment and my doctor is scheduling me for a minimally invasive surgical procedure at the beginning of September. He said that the pressure placed on my joints from the left side dislocation has displaced the disc in my right side joint. So now both sides are dislocated. 

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glasspitcher
23 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

I'm at 25 months since my C/T and still experience constant depression and DP/DR. I'm going into see a TMJ specialist tomorrow to have a surgeon reassess my dislocated TMJ. It's been three years in August since I woke up and it was dislocated, and I've started experience neck, shoulder and back pain that I feel might be related. I haven't seen any change in my DP/DR in two years so this is probably a battle that I'll continue to fight. I feel like my life is on hold. 

how is ur life like though, can the depression and DPDR be caused by something other than the drug? how is your sexual function?

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Altostrata

Hellbutrin, we don't deal with dental issues here. We were interested in your learning self-care.

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Kronos18

Hi Hellbutrin.How are you feeling?

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Hellbutrin
On 7/26/2019 at 1:29 PM, Kronos18 said:

Hi Hellbutrin.How are you feeling?

The same, like hell. Thanks for checking in though.

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Hellbutrin

Can anyone tell me whether they have had to go under general anesthesia while being in withdrawal and what was the impact on memory? I have to have a procedure tomorrow to repair a bilateral TMJ dislocation and I'm having anxiety about the effect that the anesthesia will have on me post operation. Any feedback or personal experience is appreciated, thanks! (Please no horrible experience stories)

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Altostrata

Please use search in the Symptoms and Self-Care forum to see our discussions about anesthesia.

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Leo1983

I just had 1 last month.

 

Apart from waking feeling like Ozzy Osborne i was ok. I would say i may have suffered slightly for a week or so.

 

I too was super anxious before surgery. 

 

Aslong as your physically well you should also be ok. Please dont hold me to that but im sure you will be.

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Hellbutrin
On 10/4/2019 at 4:36 AM, Leo1983 said:

I just had 1 last month.

 

Apart from waking feeling like Ozzy Osborne i was ok. I would say i may have suffered slightly for a week or so.

 

I too was super anxious before surgery. 

 

Aslong as your physically well you should also be ok. Please dont hold me to that but im sure you will be.

It did not go well. 

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Hellbutrin

Can someone tell me what I can take for pain that isn’t psychoactive? I’m having extreme fatigue, depression and brain fog on top of the crippling pain of going through recovery with no pain medication. 

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Hellbutrin

Can someone please talk to me. I was doing better, and this surgery seems to have sent me back to day one of withdrawal. I’m in SO much pain without medication and I’m starting to have my dark thoughts return that haven’t been there in almost 10 months. Will I likely have to start withdrawal all over with the medications they gave me following surgery? Also, I have a significant amount of swelling on my face. Could that be contributing to this wave that I’m having??

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Hellbutrin

Is this a side effect of the anesthesia or my nervous system reacting to the suppressant? They also gave me a dose of Fentanyl and Hydrocodone shortly after the surgery. 

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Hellbutrin

Is it possible that the surgery reversed progress that I’ve made over the last 28 months? 

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Hellbutrin
On 10/4/2019 at 4:32 AM, Altostrata said:

Please use search in the Symptoms and Self-Care forum to see our discussions about anesthesia.

Alto,

I’m having the old familiar feelings of desperation and not being able to sleep since my surgery on Friday morning. I had gotten so much better at redirecting over the last two years, and now it feels like I can’t focus on any one thing for long enough to self soothe. I’m terrified that I brought myself back into acute and I’ll have to fight another uphill battle.

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Leo1983

Sorry you feel it did not go well. 

 

I too was in huge pain gollowing surgery, mind i had 2 groing hernias and a lump removed. I could not walk for 2 weeks. 

 

For the pain i used heat, Paracetamol and at its worst for 5 days i used morpheine. You just have to do what you have to do for pain. 

 

I would honestly say i was recovered from the meds after 2 weeks. I also had to mentally train mys3lf to forget i had surgery or meds and moved on from it.

 

Like everything IT TOOK TIME. 

 

Get well soon.

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Leo1983

groin hernias

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Hellbutrin
On 10/7/2019 at 12:57 AM, Leo1983 said:

Sorry you feel it did not go well. 

 

I too was in huge pain gollowing surgery, mind i had 2 groing hernias and a lump removed. I could not walk for 2 weeks. 

 

For the pain i used heat, Paracetamol and at its worst for 5 days i used morpheine. You just have to do what you have to do for pain. 

 

I would honestly say i was recovered from the meds after 2 weeks. I also had to mentally train mys3lf to forget i had surgery or meds and moved on from it.

 

Like everything IT TOOK TIME. 

 

Get well soon.

Did you have any psych symptoms with the meds that they gave you for surgery during your wave? 

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Altostrata

If you're in pain from the surgery, you need to speak to the surgeon. Anyone might hurt from surgery.

 

It's possible you're experiencing rebound insomnia from the anesthesia. I would just try to rest as much as possible. But you need to talk to your treating physicians about pain from the surgery.

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Hellbutrin
3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

If you're in pain from the surgery, you need to speak to the surgeon. Anyone might hurt from surgery.

 

It's possible you're experiencing rebound insomnia from the anesthesia. I would just try to rest as much as possible. But you need to talk to your treating physicians about pain from the surgery.

Hi Alto, 

 

I am still in pain from the surgery but I would take the pain any day over how that wave felt yesterday. I went back to the surgeon and they gave me a detailed list of all the medications they gave me during the surgery on Friday. There were THIRTEEN of them. I would take just generic Tylenol but I’m too concerned about the effect that would have on my gut that is still in disarray. 

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Altostrata

I'm sorry, Hellbutrin, we can't help you with post-surgical pain support. You need to talk to your doctor. 

 

You may note I urged you repeatedly to have surgery only as a very last resort.

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glasspitcher

Hey Hellbutrin,

 

I think maybe you might have had a set back, a bump on the road, but that doesn't mean all your progress is reset. A similar thing happened to me where I took Rhodiola and I thought I messed myself up again, but I came back to my current progress quickly. Just focus on healing... eat anti-inflammatory, take probiotics, exercise etc.

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Hellbutrin

I found some information about prism glasses being helpful to reduce eye strain, but my double vision is present with both eyes open and when I close one eye, and binocular double vision is typically as a result of neurological damage. I went to an opthamologist and it was confirmed that I have a 20 degree misalignment in my eyes. I also have chronic dry eye (definitely a withdrawal symptom). Is there a particular specialist that I can go to assess my double vision in order to get help with my visual align emend, I’ve noticed it getting progressively worse over the last year since being in withdrawal. Any feedback is appreciated as usual! 

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Altostrata

See an opthalmologist and ask the doctor if there are other specialists for this particular vision issue.

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Hellbutrin

I found some information about prism glasses being helpful to reduce eye strain, but my double vision is present with both eyes open and when I close one eye, and binocular double vision is typically as a result of neurological damage. I went to an opthamologist and it was confirmed that I have a 20 degree misalignment in my eyes. I also have chronic dry eye (definitely a withdrawal symptom). Is there a particular specialist that I can go to assess my double vision in order to get help with my visual align emend, I’ve noticed it getting progressively worse over the last year since being in withdrawal. Any feedback is appreciated as usual! 

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Altostrata

Hellbutrin, I moved your posts here. It's unlikely anyone could answer your question, your situation is unusual. As before, you need to see an ophthalmologist.

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Hellbutrin
7 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Hellbutrin, I moved your posts here. It's unlikely anyone could answer your question, your situation is unusual. As before, you need to see an ophthalmologist.

Hi Alto, 

 

Thanks for your response. I agree, the double vision is strange, especially since it started when I was 27 yrs old (I’m 30 now)and hardly anyone else in withdrawal seems to have a similar problem. I got double vision around the same time that I woke up with both sides of my Tmj Dislocated, I would say it was less than three months before. I know withdrawal can do some mysterious things to the body. But I’m wondering if I might have something else going on. Does anyone in withdrawal develop other central nervous system problems?

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Altostrata

Not all ailments are due to withdrawal syndrome.

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succubus76

Hellbutrin, at this point i think you have PAWS. I develop PAWS years ago and i share some of your symptoms despite i used a SSRI.

 

Did you have anhedonia before Bupropion? How you manage to sleep whit tinnitus at night? What you mean by no tolerance for coffee?

 

Im sorry that your brain didnt seem to tolerate Bupropion

 

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Hellbutrin
On 10/27/2019 at 12:13 AM, SlaughterOfinnocents said:

Hellbutrin, at this point i think you have PAWS. I develop PAWS years ago and i share some of your symptoms despite i used a SSRI.

 

Did you have anhedonia before Bupropion? How you manage to sleep whit tinnitus at night? What you mean by no tolerance for coffee?

 

Im sorry that your brain didnt seem to tolerate Bupropion

 

Hi Slaughter,

 

I agree, although some of the symptoms that I have I haven't been able to find in anyone else on SA. Such as the spontaneous dislocation of both my TMJ joints around the same time that I developed double vision.

 

Did you have anhedonia before Bupropion? How you manage to sleep whit tinnitus at night? What you mean by no tolerance for coffee?

 

 

No, I actually started taking Wellbutrin when I was in graduate school for very minor anxiety (side note: At the time I was very ignorant about psych meds and their effect on the brain and I was interested in Wellbutrin because my doctor said it could help with weight loss, this idea was attractive to me in my 24 year old infinite wisdom, *eye roll). Prior to medication use I had never had any experiences related to DP/DR, anhedonia or depression at all. I took the medication for around a year and a half, not realizing what the medication was doing to me. I actually ended up C/T because I woke up one morning and both sides of my jaw were dislocated and I had double vision and I had been noticing that my emotions were blunted. And again, in my infinite wisdom, I C/T without consulting with my doctor because I had no idea of what the risks were. Two days later I was suicidal and couldn't get out of bed. Today, I have chronic short term memory loss, I've had double vision since before my C/T, I recently had TMJ arthroscopy surgery and it actually made my TMJ pain worse and now I also have even more limited joint mobility than I did presurgery, I still have constant depression/anxiety/Dp/Dr/anhedonia and fatigue. The only thing that has lessened slightly over the last 2.5 years is the insomnia. I'm now able to get around 5-6 hours of broken sleep per night. I've had a really hard time since my C/T. I developed some pretty severe PTSD and I was too terrified to reinstate totally once I realized the true impact of the medication I was taking when I C/T the first time, and by the time I found SA I was already tapering the medication incorrectly per my doctor's guidance. My main concern is the double vision, and Alto mentioned in a post before that my double vision situation is unusual, so that was particularly stressful. I've seen an optometrist, and two ophthalmologists, and I have an appointment to see a strabismus specialist and a neuro opthamologist in December. When I saw the first Opthamologist I was extremely distressed because his nurse told me she hadn't seen a case like mine in the 10 years that she had been working in the field. Typically, someone with double vision either has double vision in one eye (monocular) or double vision in both eyes (binocular), and the double vision should resolve when you cover either eye. But in my situation I have double vision in each eye separately, so they didn't have an explanation for it, and said that there is nothing structurally wrong with my eye. Like Alto said, these symptoms are unusual in relation to PAWS, so there might be some other underlying issue that I haven't been able to figure out yet. So far, I've been tested for PCOS, a pituitary tumor, multiple sclerosis, hyper/hypothyroidism, hormonal imbalances, and various other blood tests to test for autoimmune disease and according to the tests and MRIs, I'm healthy. I'm not giving up, but I'm running out of options for alternatives that might be contributing to my symptoms, and doctors really aren't any help. They all want to put me on more psych meds, and I know that in the long run I'd likely get stuck on them for the rest of my life because i don't think I could go through acute again. For a while I thought about trying another medication with a different mechanism of action like an SSRI, but from all of the stories I've read on this site I'd just be injuring myself further. 

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Hellbutrin
On 11/8/2018 at 5:46 AM, Wellbutrinsucks said:

To me it seems like some of the symptoms I’ve experienced most other people haven’t, but maybe I just need to look further. But @Hellbutrin I completely understand what you’re going through. Wellbutrin sucks.

 

it also seems like you’ve developed health anxiety because of this. I can say I have too and sometimes it can be pretty severe, but know that you’re not alone in this, at all.

Hi Wellbutrin,

 

How are you doing? I'm still struggling with all my eye issues. Have you seen improvement?

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