Justin332: Paxil withdrawal - scared and need advice

[ihpsdm]

47 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

My family and my best friends want me to go to an inpatient wellness center and spend about a mo th recovering from what it is going on. Since I’ve been having such dark thoughts, and after running into a fence yesterday, they think i need to be supervised. 

 

I know that that i won’t kill myself. I know my alcohol binge brought a lot more problems and i haven’t had a drink in six days. Never been a big drinker before this anyways. It just made me feel better. 

 

Does anyone have any any thoughts on the inpatient? What if i get a psych who says I’m bipolar or doesn’t understand withdrawal?

 

i feel like I’m running out of options and patience from my family. 

 

The moderators might give you better advice here but I don't know if an inpatient wellness center can help you that much. 

 

These wellness centers generally don't understand SSRI or Benzo withdrawal. This isn't like withdrawing from opiates or alcohol. Once these drugs are out of your system then your Central Nervous System still needs to heal. This takes a long time which is why these withdrawals last for so long. The medical community generally does not acknowledge withdrawals from SSRIs and Benzos since it's not just about getting these drugs out of your system. It's not that they don't want to help you, it's just that they don't know how. A lot of times their answer for you is simply to give you more drugs.

 

The same probably applies to your family and friends. They want you to get better but don't know how to help you. At this point, emotional support is what your friends and family can provide.

 

Are there any friends who can stay with you? I live alone so I know how hard it is to deal with this on your own. Do you think you need 24/7 care? Is work a stressor for you or is it something that can distract you from these other issues? As long as you are not suicidal, I think you are better off riding this out at home. The incident that you had yesterday is concerning so you may want to take some time off work to stabilize, but an inpatient center may not be the best place for you. The goal right now is to stabilize and the best way to do this is to keep things simple. Let your brain and central nervous adapt to the current medications, relax and let yourself heal.

 

Once you stabilize, then you can reevaluate how to get off these drugs by tapering in a slow way in order to minimize these withdrawal symptoms. That is something that should not even be thought about until you have stabilized for at least a month, however.

[RachelSusan]

Hi Justin,

 

I wanted to stop by and give you support.  It sounds like you are really suffering. It's brutal right now and I know you want relief as quickly as possible.  At one point I was in the depths of h*ll myself, but I did stabilize. There are many people here wanting to see you get well, and you will.

 

It sounds like you have family and friends that love you. It also sounds like they want to help you but probably don't know how. They may never understand it because they aren't going through it, but they seem to really care. As time goes by you may find a way that you can use them to help you. Perhaps they can pick up things for you at the store if you can't get out?  Perhaps someone can give you a head massage? By the way, a head massage with firm pressure really helps with the headaches and even with nausea. I used to also massage my own head.  It wasn't much but sometimes even thirty seconds of relief is an oasis in a desert.

 

Hang in there.  We are rooting for you.

 

Warm wishes,

RS

 

 

 

[Rosetta]

Justin,

 

Hey.  I am so sorry about the fence!  That is really unfortunate, but please don't blow it out of proportion!  You need to heal from the past week of disruption to the CNS.  You have been through a trauma, Justin.  You need to see that.  The conference and your speech and the trip were very, very traumatic to your sensitive CNS system.  Of course, you wrecked your car.  I'm not surprised, and there is no reason to panic.  However, you are sensitive to stress -- good or bad -- this conference was stressful, very stressful, plus you traveled.   It was more likely you would make a mistake.  Thank God it was only a fence.  (My mom did the same thing, but the car hit a little old lady, and the woman fell and broke her wrist!)

 

The fence -- Let it go.  It's done.  It can't be changed.  It's just money.  You have money.  No one got hurt.  Now, remember this and slow down!!!  These things like the fence problem happen to everyone.  (I ran over a water back flow valve on a Friday night about a year after the doctor switched my meds.  Water was shooting 50 feet in the air, and the neighborhood lost water for hours.  This was before I knew that I was in WD.  That cost me a lot.  All I had done was go to a simple play date at someone's house.) 

 

You need to decompress.  No one can do that for you.  I agree with ihpsdm, "let your brain and CNS adapt."  

 

I completely understand why your family is upset, but you have remember that they don't understand the true problem.  They are assuming, as we all did, that doctors only help, not hurt.  They assume doctors know what they are doing -- not a safe assumption.  You don't have a doctor who is knowledgable, and you are not to going to stumble onto one at a wellness center.   You need to protect yourself from the deliberate ignorance that is out there in the medical profession or you are going to get worse, and you are going to lose your job.

 

Please do not raise your dose unless a Mod says that makes sense.  More is not better when the CNS is dysregulated.  It could make everything worse.  The same goes for entering a hospital or wellness center.  There is no risk-free "treatment" in the form of a pill for this condition. There should be, but there isn't.  There are a lot of reasons for this.  There are no treatment centers for us or we would be in them.

 

The most frustrating thing is that no one who matters -- doctors -- will admit that the drugs are the problem.  Doctors don't act on the problem as if it's a dependency because they can't admit that Paxil causes dependency.  However, even if they did, it's a dependency that requires a different solution than street drug addiction.  The mainstream isn't ready to accept that.  They think more drugs, new drugs, and higher doses are risk-free experiments on people like us who have taken and quit ADs.  It can be downright dangerous for us to trust a doctor or end up in a hospital.  

 

I'm sorry you had to attend that conference.  It's very unfortunate.  The alcohol didn't help matters, but the entire experience was definitely not what you needed right now.  You are going to have to heal from that.  The only way to do so is to keep a regular routine, keep stress low, and avoid new medicines.  I think I would want to change nothing right now if I were you.  I would want to settle back into my routine at home and try to get some sleep.

 

Pay for the fence, Justin, and then forget about it.  Please do not let your well-meaning friends and family push you into the hands of a well meaning but ignorant doctor.

 

I hope you feel better very soon.

 

Rosetta

 

PS I have no idea about what you should do with the Valium.  I was very, very careful with the Xanax I was prescribed, but I can't say whether I was dependent or not.  I CT'd it right along with Zoloft and Trazodone.  It was not pretty, but there is no way for me to know how much of a role the benzo played in the ensuing pain.  I think you should find out what the half life of Valium is and look into the possibility of rebound anxiety.  Then decide what to do.  Hopefully, one of the Mods can point you to a thread about how to handle that issue.  I'll try to find one, too.

[ChessieCat]

6 hours ago, ihpsdm said:

These wellness centers generally don't understand SSRI or Benzo withdrawal.

 

Psychiatric drugs change the brain - it is a physiological dependence - not physical dependence like nicotine and caffeine.  This is why tapering is recommended.  This way you reduce the drug gradually which gives the brain time to adapt to not getting as much of the drug.  There is no quick fix.  It is going to take time.  I suggested you check out these topics so you can get a better understanding of what is happening:

 

Brain Remodelling
Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

What is Happening in Your Brain

[Justin332]

45 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Psychiatric drugs change the brain - it is a physiological dependence - not physical dependence like nicotine and caffeine.  This is why tapering is recommended.  This way you reduce the drug gradually which gives the brain time to adapt to not getting as much of the drug.  There is no quick fix.  It is going to take time.  I suggested you check out these topics so you can get a better understanding of what is happening:

 

Brain Remodelling
Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

What is Happening in Your Brain

I understand. Would it be right to take it as an encouraging sign that I’m able to sleep?

 

injust went to my GP doctor and he stated that he thinks it’s time to up the Paxil or start another drug. That makes a GP and two docs that have stated this. 

 

The knoy thing keeping me from doing it is the It is the support of this board.  But whatnot he said affected me. Is the Paxil now useless? Is reinstatement a lost cause at five weeks?  

[Justin332]

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Justin,

 

Hey.  I am so sorry about the fence!  That is really unfortunate, but please don't blow it out of proportion!  You need to heal from the past week of disruption to the CNS.  You have been through a trauma, Justin.  You need to see that.  The conference and your speech and the trip were very, very traumatic to your sensitive CNS system.  Of course, you wrecked your car.  I'm not surprised, and there is no reason to panic.  However, you are sensitive to stress -- good or bad -- this conference was stressful, very stressful, plus you traveled.   It was more likely you would make a mistake.  Thank God it was only a fence.  (My mom did the same thing, but the car hit a little old lady, and the woman fell and broke her wrist!)

 

The fence -- Let it go.  It's done.  It can't be changed.  It's just money.  You have money.  No one got hurt.  Now, remember this and slow down!!!  These things like the fence problem happen to everyone.  (I ran over a water back flow valve on a Friday night about a year after the doctor switched my meds.  Water was shooting 50 feet in the air, and the neighborhood lost water for hours.  This was before I knew that I was in WD.  That cost me a lot.  All I had done was go to a simple play date at someone's house.) 

 

You need to decompress.  No one can do that for you.  I agree with ihpsdm, "let your brain and CNS adapt."  

 

I completely understand why your family is upset, but you have remember that they don't understand the true problem.  They are assuming, as we all did, that doctors only help, not hurt.  They assume doctors know what they are doing -- not a safe assumption.  You don't have a doctor who is knowledgable, and you are not to going to stumble onto one at a wellness center.   You need to protect yourself from the deliberate ignorance that is out there in the medical profession or you are going to get worse, and you are going to lose your job.

 

Please do not raise your dose unless a Mod says that makes sense.  More is not better when the CNS is dysregulated.  It could make everything worse.  The same goes for entering a hospital or wellness center.  There is no risk-free "treatment" in the form of a pill for this condition. There should be, but there isn't.  There are a lot of reasons for this.  There are no treatment centers for us or we would be in them.

 

The most frustrating thing is that no one who matters -- doctors -- will admit that the drugs are the problem.  Doctors don't act on the problem as if it's a dependency because they can't admit that Paxil causes dependency.  However, even if they did, it's a dependency that requires a different solution than street drug addiction.  The mainstream isn't ready to accept that.  They think more drugs, new drugs, and higher doses are risk-free experiments on people like us who have taken and quit ADs.  It can be downright dangerous for us to trust a doctor or end up in a hospital.  

 

I'm sorry you had to attend that conference.  It's very unfortunate.  The alcohol didn't help matters, but the entire experience was definitely not what you needed right now.  You are going to have to heal from that.  The only way to do so is to keep a regular routine, keep stress low, and avoid new medicines.  I think I would want to change nothing right now if I were you.  I would want to settle back into my routine at home and try to get some sleep.

 

Pay for the fence, Justin, and then forget about it.  Please do not let your well-meaning friends and family push you into the hands of a well meaning but ignorant doctor.

 

I hope you feel better very soon.

 

Rosetta

 

PS I have no idea about what you should do with the Valium.  I was very, very careful with the Xanax I was prescribed, but I can't say whether I was dependent or not.  I CT'd it right along with Zoloft and Trazodone.  It was not pretty, but there is no way for me to know how much of a role the benzo played in the ensuing pain.  I think you should find out what the half life of Valium is and look into the possibility of rebound anxiety.  Then decide what to do.  Hopefully, one of the Mods can point you to a thread about how to handle that issue.  I'll try to find one, too.

Your message was amazing and brought me to tears. I am so thankful for people like you on here. 

 

I  Felt awful about the fence. My friend made me feel awful about the fence, and rightfully so. I force my dog on her because I couldn’t go home from having psychotic thoughts in Miami and on top of that I pick up the dog two days later and mess her fence up. 

 

She has a right to be upset. 

 

With that said, you are correct it is just money and I will pay for it. I’ve assured her of that. As for the meeting, it was a perfect storm and I handled it the best way I could. Luckily, I won’t be giving a speech anytime soon.

 

 I guess I’m still in denial and show that this is happening today. I can’t believe I still don’t feel well. I can’t believe I have any Zaidi every day, I can’t believe I’m so far from the person I hear yeah. It is scary. Thank you for your kind note, I am trying every day to move past this. Speaking of support, my family my parents are coming in this weekend and I can’t wait. I have very little optimism in the last two weeks, but this will be great 

[Justin332]

6 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

Hi Justin,

 

I wanted to stop by and give you support.  It sounds like you are really suffering. It's brutal right now and I know you want relief as quickly as possible.  At one point I was in the depths of h*ll myself, but I did stabilize. There are many people here wanting to see you get well, and you will.

 

It sounds like you have family and friends that love you. It also sounds like they want to help you but probably don't know how. They may never understand it because they aren't going through it, but they seem to really care. As time goes by you may find a way that you can use them to help you. Perhaps they can pick up things for you at the store if you can't get out?  Perhaps someone can give you a head massage? By the way, a head massage with firm pressure really helps with the headaches and even with nausea. I used to also massage my own head.  It wasn't much but sometimes even thirty seconds of relief is an oasis in a desert.

 

Hang in there.  We are rooting for you.

 

Warm wishes,

RS

 

 

 

Thank you so much RS

[Justin332]

On 1/29/2018 at 6:51 PM, Altostrata said:

What exactly have you been taking for the last week?

 

You're not going to be able to get around keeping daily notes.

So, i really, really need your help. You and the other mods are the only opinions i respect at this point. 

 

It has been one one week since my last drop of alcohol. I have kept daily notes. Consistently over the past week i have taken the following:

 

10mg Paxil around 10am

7.5-10mg Valium as the day becomes more and more unbearable. 

50mg trazodone to sleep

 

every day i have woken up with strong anxiety. A burning in my limbs that is a generally new feeling. My thoughts are dark and scary. I don’t have positive thoughts.  I obsess all day about what’s happening.  I am living in total fear. My parents are coming in today and I’m hoping their presence gives me some comfort. 

 

My sister wants to send me to inpatient rehab. I don’t know what good that would do. I am seeing tw psychiatrists on Monday just to go over all options. Something has to change bc i don’t feel i can survive like this much longer. I feel trapped. 

 

I was a very successful person just two months ago. 

 

I beg you to answer these questions:

 

1) i took 300mgx3 of gabapentin when i was admitted to the hospital, i wasn’t super compliant bc the psychiatrist told me i don’t need it. I took 21 pills of 300mg total through January 18th. Could i be having withdrawal from that on top of Paxil withdrawal? The docs say no bc it’s such a short time but i feel my nerves have gotten worse the past two weeks. Of course, there’s the factor of drinking and i fully accept responsibility for that. 

 

2) at 35 days of Paxil at 10mg, is reinststement still possible? My thoughts are negative and i understand that drinking as much as i did three things into chaos, but should i be feeling better by now?  Every doc wants me to go UP on the dose and i can’t imagine being able to handle it. 

 

3) i am sleeping better, but should i try to cut out the trazodone? I know it’s an interaction with Paxil but the docs said it was safe. 

 

4). What would you do if you were me? Every day is excruciating? I can’t live like this much longer. 

 

Please please help me

[DaveB]

37 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

4). What would you do if you were me? Every day is excruciating? I can’t live like this much longer. 

 

Please please help me

 

I don't have any answers, but you need to know you CAN live like this for as long as it takes for your body to stabilize. I know it is hard, I am REALLY bad at it myself, but we need to remember we CAN deal with it. We CAN and WILL deal with whatever is thrown at us and go through it in order to heal. The thoughts and feelings are scary, believe me I know, but they WON'T hurt you, and the less you pay attention and fear them, the more you give your nervous system time to heal itself. I am in the thick of a wave now, but it has been better, and will be again.

 

Also, with the valium, quit taking it "as needed". Take a scheduled dose of it at the same times throughout the day to avoid "rebound" anxiety. If you need a 10mgs on a bad day, then take the 10mgs every day and be stable with it.  

[Rosetta]

Hi Justin,

 

I want you to know that I understand exactly what you are feeling.  I am so sad that there is no easy, quick fix.

I could have written this in the Fall of last year:.

 

1 hour ago, Justin332 said:

every day i have woken up with strong anxiety. . . . My thoughts are dark and scary. I don’t have positive thoughts.  I obsess all day about what’s happening.  I am living in total fear.

[Justin332]

On 1/14/2018 at 10:30 PM, ChessieCat said:

Hi Justin,

 

I've asked the other mods for their thoughts on your Paxil dose.

 

Are you keeping a daily diary of your symptoms?  Is there any pattern that you can see with when you get symptoms and times you take your drugs?

Hey there, i hope you’ve had a great day. Do you have a second to look above and see what you think about my post?

[Altostrata]

13 hours ago, Justin332 said:

7.5-10mg Valium as the day becomes more and more unbearable. 

 

Justin, when I say exactly, I mean exactly. We need to know exactly how much Valium you're taking in each dose, and we need to know what times of day you take those doses. "7.5-10mg Valium" is not detailed enough to be helpful.

 

13 hours ago, Justin332 said:

at 35 days of Paxil at 10mg, is reinststement still possible? My thoughts are negative and i understand that drinking as much as i did three things into chaos, but should i be feeling better by now?

 

Drinking did throw a spanner into the works. There is no definite time period for stabilization. Do you feel better or worse than you did before you went drinking?

 

What do you mean by negative thoughts?

 

13 hours ago, Justin332 said:

i am sleeping better, but should i try to cut out the trazodone?

 

When did you start sleeping better? How has your sleeping pattern changed?

 

If you were keeping daily notes on paper, you would be able to answer our questions. As long as you do not show enough commitment to do that, we can't answer your questions. Keep daily notes on paper. If poor sleep is one of your symptoms, it should appear in your notes.

[ChessieCat]

Please see this topic which explains the best format:  Keep Notes on Paper

[Justin332]

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Justin, when I say exactly, I mean exactly. We need to know exactly how much Valium you're taking in each dose, and we need to know what times of day you take those doses. "7.5-10mg Valium" is not detailed enough to be helpful.

 

 

Drinking did throw a spanner into the works. There is no definite time period for stabilization. Do you feel better or worse than you did before you went drinking?

 

What do you mean by negative thoughts?

 

 

When did you start sleeping better? How has your sleeping pattern changed?

 

If you were keeping daily notes on paper, you would be able to answer our questions. As long as you do not show enough commitment to do that, we can't answer your questions. Keep daily notes on paper. If poor sleep is one of your symptoms, it should appear in your notes.

I have to say this is extremely discouraging. I’ve spent the last several days trying to provide necessary detail. Now i learn it’s not enough. It’s been five days I’ve been begging you to help me and you won’t respond because my notes aren’t up to the level of detail you want. I’ve been really trying, i thought i was doing a good job with the notes. It seems like the requirements keep getting harder to get some answers. I still don’t know what to do except that i need to take better notes. 

 

I will I’ll try harder but yesterday resulted in a huge breakdown with this burning sensation in my body that wouldn’t go away. This is new. It started when i woke up and continued, it is like a new manifestation of anxiety. 

 

When i i say dark thoughts, i mean that i am having thoughts of complete hopelessness. Sometimes suicidal. I don’t feel like i will get better and i feel i am messed up for life. There is no joy. 

 

I take the valium when things feel unbearable. It is usually in the mid afternoon around 3-4pm. I wake up with negative,  thoughts and they continue throughout the day. 

 

Things definitely got way worse after the drinking at the meeting. I haven’t had a drop in the week since. 

 

I started sleeping better around january 25th. 

 

I’ll try to keep better notes. I just feel like the past week I’ve been shouting at myself on here while having a complete breakdown. Other members have sent great notes of encouragment, but i feel I’ve gotten very little in terms of actual guidance. I know you’re all super busy and stretched thin, and i am sorry i haven’t kept great notes, but there’s been so little guidance the past week on here, and it has been the WORST week of my life. 

[Justin332]

5 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Please see this topic which explains the best format:  Keep Notes on Paper

Ok. I will try to provide better notes. Thanks. 

[Rosetta]

Hey, Justin,

 

I hope that a Mod will chime in about whether this is a good suggestion, but here's is what I think might help you:

 

It seems that you are hooked on the Valium by now.  You have taken it every day for at least two weeks?  Maybe 4? If so, I suspect that you need to choose a dose that you never waver from and a time of day that you never change.  

 

I think it might be easier for you to get stable and to take notes if 1) you decide on a time or times to take the Valium and take the same dose everyday at the same time(s).  Pick a time when you are not rushing -- a time when you can write notes at the time you take the Valium.  For instance choose the time you get home from work or choose the time you get to work.  (So you don't drive after taking it.) You could choose to take 1/2 when you get to work and 1/2 when you get home.  Choose 5 mg total, perhaps.  Never take extra.  It seems that it's impossible to figure out which of your symptoms are caused by Paxil and which are caused by Valium and which are caused simply by your destabilization as long as you take Valium at different times of day every day.  Then take notes when you go to bed, too.  

 

If you can't take notes well enough right now at least change the Valium issue.  Baby steps. Then, you may find that you can start taking notes adequately.  

[Altostrata]

Rosetta, you are absolutely correct -- thank you very much --- but first we need to know exactly how Justin has been taking his drugs and how that has affected him before we can figure out a schedule.

 

Twice-daily Valium dosing is one possibility.

 

[Justin332]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Rosetta, you are absolutely correct -- thank you very much --- but first we need to know exactly how Justin has been taking his drugs and how that has affected him before we can figure out a schedule.

 

Twice-daily Valium dosing is one possibility.

 

I believe i have completely stabilized. I am going to wait until a few more days pass but it’s been a week since I’ve used valium and a week since any akathisia, anxiety, or depression. Not manically happy. Just feel like myself. 

 

I went to a new psychiatrist who who has done case studies on ssri withdrawal. I’m going to wait a few more days and if I’m still symptom free I’ll post what he said and how this happened. 

 

There is hope. And it doesn’t have to take years. 

[RachelSusan]

Hi Justin,

 

This sounds like great news. Please let us know as soon as you can any new information you have.  Hope is always welcome.

 

RS

 

 

 

 

[wantrelief]

I am so glad you are feeling better, Justin.  As RS stated, please let us know about your experience when you are able.

[Rosetta]

Yes, please be sure to tell us what the doctor said.  I'm really glad to hear you have been without Valium for a week with no ill affects!! -- Rosetta

[Downbutnotout]

5 hours ago, Justin332 said:

I believe i have completely stabilized. I am going to wait until a few more days pass but it’s been a week since I’ve used valium and a week since any akathisia, anxiety, or depression. Not manically happy. Just feel like myself. 

 

I went to a new psychiatrist who who has done case studies on ssri withdrawal. I’m going to wait a few more days and if I’m still symptom free I’ll post what he said and how this happened. 

 

There is hope. And it doesn’t have to take years. 

I am happy for you. 

[ihpsdm]

19 hours ago, Justin332 said:

I believe i have completely stabilized. I am going to wait until a few more days pass but it’s been a week since I’ve used valium and a week since any akathisia, anxiety, or depression. Not manically happy. Just feel like myself. 

 

I went to a new psychiatrist who who has done case studies on ssri withdrawal. I’m going to wait a few more days and if I’m still symptom free I’ll post what he said and how this happened. 

 

There is hope. And it doesn’t have to take years. 

 

This is great news. Please let us know what you did to get better. Is this Psychiatrist located in Dallas?

[wildchild93]

On 12/26/2017 at 5:15 PM, Justin332 said:

I’m a 37 year old, successful salesman, an extrovert, generally positive individual.

.

[DaveB]

23 hours ago, Justin332 said:

I believe i have completely stabilized. I am going to wait until a few more days pass but it’s been a week since I’ve used valium and a week since any akathisia, anxiety, or depression. Not manically happy. Just feel like myself. 

 

I went to a new psychiatrist who who has done case studies on ssri withdrawal. I’m going to wait a few more days and if I’m still symptom free I’ll post what he said and how this happened. 

 

There is hope. And it doesn’t have to take years. 

 

Wow, add me to the list of people who REALLY want to hear how you made such a dramatic change so quickly!

[samanthaelizabeth]

How are you doing Justin?

 

[Justin332]

2 hours ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

How are you doing Justin?

 

I’m doing really amazing. Going to see the psychiatrist tomorrow and do a write up for y’all 

[samanthaelizabeth]

5 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

I’m doing really amazing. Going to see the psychiatrist tomorrow and do a write up for y’all 

Awesome!  Look forward to your write up.  We are all looking for answers!  Have a great day!

[DaveB]

On 2/15/2018 at 3:35 PM, Justin332 said:

I’m doing really amazing. Going to see the psychiatrist tomorrow and do a write up for y’all 

 

How are you doing Justin? Really interested in your write up!

[Justin332]

So it has been about 17 days since I’ve had sort of wave, or anxiety symptoms. Sleep has been easy to attain again, and I’ve comoletely stabilized and gotten back to work. My last day of symptoms was February 3rd. It was a pretty awful day but when i woke up the next day, all the burning, chest akathisia, depressive thoughts, al of it just left. It was like a switch went back on. I thought it might be only a window but i wasn’t manic like i was in previous windows. I thought it was different. I was right. 

 

I saw a new, cash only psychiatrist who has done some case studies on ssri withdrawal. He does believe that our brains do become very dependent on ssri, and after use of more than ten years you probably can’t come off without a massive withdrawal syndrome. He believes reinstatement always works, and that the fight or flight symptoms are more from a lack of serotonin that causes neurotransmitters to misfire than anything. 

 

He explained the following reason that we/i had such a meltdown. It isn’t much different from what altostrata says. 

 

1) nervous system is destabilized by withdrawal, making everything hypersensitive. 

2) reinstatement will make it worse, further destabilizing nervous system and making anxiety and physical symptoms worse

3) getting off gabapentin was a big mistake in mid January. 

4) drinking and Valium caused rebound anxiety. 

 

 

I bought into everything he said, and reinstated gabapentin at 200mg x 3 daily and 10mg Paxil. Now up to 20mg temporarily before i ween down after three mo this of panic free behavior. 

 

I stabilized exactly 40 days after reinstatement of Paxil. Nervous system settled down, and life is completely back to normal. 

 

Please keep in mind i no longer take Valium, trazodone, or ambien. 

 

I will be weening off gabapentin and going back down to 10mg Paxil over the next six months with his help, and will stay there for life. I am okay with that, and so thankful this period of my life is over. 

 

I hope this gives some of you hope, and i wanted to thank the many people on this board who were positive support through this ordeal. 

[Justin332]

On 2/10/2018 at 12:43 PM, Altostrata said:

Rosetta, you are absolutely correct -- thank you very much --- but first we need to know exactly how Justin has been taking his drugs and how that has affected him before we can figure out a schedule.

 

Twice-daily Valium dosing is one possibility.

 

Thank you for all your help through this, and for your website. 

[samanthaelizabeth]

19 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

I will be weening off gabapentin and going back down to 10mg Paxil over the next six months with his help, and will stay there for life. I am okay with that, and so thankful this period of my life is over. 

 

 

Good for you, I have decided that I will be on Zoloft for life as well.  I, like you just want my life back!   So glad you let us know how you are doing.

[DaveB]

24 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

So it has been about 17 days since I’ve had sort of wave, or anxiety symptoms. Sleep has been easy to attain again, and I’ve comoletely stabilized and gotten back to work. My last day of symptoms was February 3rd. It was a pretty awful day but when i woke up the next day, all the burning, chest akathisia, depressive thoughts, al of it just left. It was like a switch went back on. I thought it might be only a window but i wasn’t manic like i was in previous windows. I thought it was different. I was right. 

 

I saw a new, cash only psychiatrist who has done some case studies on ssri withdrawal. He does believe that our brains do become very dependent on ssri, and after use of more than ten years you probably can’t come off without a massive withdrawal syndrome. He believes reinstatement always works, and that the fight or flight symptoms are more from a lack of serotonin that causes neurotransmitters to misfire than anything. 

 

He explained the following reason that we/i had such a meltdown. It isn’t much different from what altostrata says. 

 

1) nervous system is destabilized by withdrawal, making everything hypersensitive. 

2) reinstatement will make it worse, further destabilizing nervous system and making anxiety and physical symptoms worse

3) getting off gabapentin was a big mistake in mid January. 

4) drinking and Valium caused rebound anxiety. 

 

 

I bought into everything he said, and reinstated gabapentin at 200mg x 3 daily and 10mg Paxil. Now up to 20mg temporarily before i ween down after three mo this of panic free behavior. 

 

I stabilized exactly 40 days after reinstatement of Paxil. Nervous system settled down, and life is completely back to normal. 

 

Please keep in mind i no longer take Valium, trazodone, or ambien. 

 

I will be weening off gabapentin and going back down to 10mg Paxil over the next six months with his help, and will stay there for life. I am okay with that, and so thankful this period of my life is over. 

 

I hope this gives some of you hope, and i wanted to thank the many people on this board who were positive support through this ordeal. 

 

Great update Justin! Gives us all great hope I think. So good you found a doctor that understands and knows how to help you work through it. Also good to hear your doctor believes reinstatement will always work eventually, gives me hope though I wish like you I would have reinstated on the same med. Hopefully Zoloft and Paxil are similar enough that my brain will eventually figure it out. 

[RachelSusan]

Justin,

You went through h*ll. I'm am so glad that you are feeling good now.  Thank you for coming back to share with us. May all your days be bright from now on.

RS

[DaveB]

50 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

Thank you for all your help through this, and for your website. 

Not going to lie, I am very jealous. Can't imagine what it would be like to have my reinstatement just click and feel like myself tomorrow...and to have it continue for 3 weeks after. Must be amazing! Good luck to you in the future!

[Justin332]

11 hours ago, DaveB said:

Not going to lie, I am very jealous. Can't imagine what it would be like to have my reinstatement just click and feel like myself tomorrow...and to have it continue for 3 weeks after. Must be amazing! Good luck to you in the future!

The best thing Dr.Tankersley  said to me was:

 

”none of this is permanent, there is only one drug that caused irreparable damage to your brain and emotions, and that’s crystal meth. Nothing with SSRIs is permanent.”

Edited February 23, 2018 by ChessieCat
reinstated doctor's name