RandyJames: need support

[Leo1983]

Keep it up! Keep going! Its going to get better i promise. 

 

You have alot going on around you. Try to focus on that and try to get it put behind you so ypu can relax and focus on your withdrawal. 

 

I can assure you slowly is your best way off this drug. I Cold Turkeyed and i can only say the first 7 month i DO NOT know how i did it. I really dont! It is not a place to venture.

 

Just keep the faith and take your time. Have self compassion, its not your fault what these drugs do.

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

10 minutes ago, RandyJames said:

Well, I'll try my best.  There was 0 connection to anything and anyone including myself.  I could only feel scared and frustrated to the max.  My wife, kids, parents and everyone were like strangers to me which is horrifying.  Everything I looked at seemed like a bad dream.  Always weighing down on me was the thought of my identity being lost forever.  Also I was having much more intense WD symptoms at the time so the overall experience was extremely hard.  The worst experience of my life.  I was in that WD for two years and made the mistake of reinstating an SSRI as I was so frustrated and felt I couldn't make it through.  I must say that over that 2 years I had improved and I even think some of the DP was improving but I was still extremely anxious and agitated and very weak.  During the whole 2 years I was so wrecked that I never left the bed or couch.  Looking back I should have forced myself to move more as I think the complete lack of activity was worsening things.  I gave up at 2 years and reinstated with Lexapro which slowly eased things up for me but has kept me in this cycle and put me into my current dilemma. 

 

I really need to stress the following to everyone when I point out that I reinstated at 2 years into CT WD.  I believe it was a BIG mistake.  As I said I had seen improvement along the way, but not having found this site I had no stories of how people made it through long protracted WD with time.  Having had some improvement I truly believe I would have made it through with a little more time and not be facing WD again.  I did get to a better place for some time but now my symptoms are coming back even while on the Lexapro because of tolerance.  Now what do I do?  The only way forward is to come off the meds entirely an stay off and heal.  If I could go back I would have remained off and waited it out.  

 

 

Thank you very much for that. That's how bad I am and you make me feel better. You made it 2 years not many would've done that.

 

what symptons do you have now?

[Altostrata]

Psychiatric drug adverse effects are difficult for everyone who experiences them. It's too bad doctors know so little about them.

 

We're not going to be able to predict what will happen for you. All I can see right now is that 30mg was too high a dose. You'll have to assess how you feel on 20mg. It could be that's too high, as well.

[RandyJames]

1 minute ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Thank you very much for that. That's how bad I am and you make me feel better. You made it 2 years not many would've done that.

 

what symptons do you have now?

I have bad anxiety, especially in the morning.  Bad depression. Cognitive problems and brain fog; really hate those.  I am having some nerve twitching in arms legs and trunk and even lips at times.  My chest and throat are really tight and I feel queasy.  The DP and anhedonia are pretty bad.  My sleep isn't great; I wake up to much and to early.  I can't watch TV anymore as it really agitates me for some reason; I think it's a combo of frustration for not being able to get into it and also it's hard to watch people who are operating outside of what I'm going through, if that makes sense.  I've had these kick in slowly since early February or late January while remaining at my dose of 20mg Lexapro.  It makes me scared to think what tapering is going to be like but I have to do it.  

 

The WD from benzos and CT Cymbalta was much more intense, all the same things and more.   There were much more physical symptoms as well as much more intense psychological symptoms as well.  

 

Are you still off all meds? 

 

Did you CT in June of 2017?  

 

Have you had any improvement over the course of your WD?

 

I hope you feel better.

 

 

[RandyJames]

20 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 All I can see right now is that 30mg was too high a dose. You'll have to assess how you feel on 20mg. It could be that's too high, as well.

I agree.  I am really thinking about beginning my taper on April 1st though I'm apprehensive.  I have so much coming up I'm worried about exacerbating things by decreasing, but I am also wanting to see if lowering at this point would help.  

[jonnypeters1234567]

Yes I can relate to all that.

 

im in real bad shape scared of every sound movement person etc. derealisation unbelievable amount, parents are aliens. Feel really wide awake all the time but fatigued at the same time. Bedridden.

 

Yes off off all meds.

 

stopped in 2017, first ct was fine, then bam this has sent me to another dimension.

Edited March 19, 2019 by jonnypeters1234567

[Altostrata]

Don't worry about changing your dosage on April 1. If it seems you're stabilizing, you won't want to make any changes until your living situation is settled.

[RandyJames]

13 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Yes I can relate to all that.

 

im in real bad shape scared of every sound movement person etc. derealisation unbelievable amount, parents are aliens. Feel really wide awake all the time but fatigued at the same time. Bedridden.

 

Yes off off all meds.

 

stopped in 2017, first ct was fine, then bam this has sent me to another dimension.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  It's the worst and most unfair thing imaginable.  You've made it almost to two years already and a lot of people seem to reach a turnaround point around then or shortly after so just keep positive.

 

I'd like to offer one piece of advise, if I may, that may not help at all and may just be unachievable right now with how badly you feel.  I am not preaching at all either, just sharing something that in retrospect I had wished I had done myself.   I was bedridden as well for the whole two years only getting up for little things and to go to doctors appointments.  In retrospect I truly believe it would have been beneficial on some level if I could have forced myself up for walks.  Even before I ever touched a pill in my life I remember that too much downtime would make me feel bad and uneasy so I wonder if I  could have at least slightly improved if I had forced myself to move more.   I do realize that it's WAY easier said than done, especially as I didn't do it myself,  but I just thought I'd throw that out there.  

 

I know you'll get through this.  The nervous system will adjust but the process sucks!

[jonnypeters1234567]

I hope this sorts out for you randy I really do

 

With a very slow taper your cns will slowly stabilise

[RandyJames]

OMG I'm having a bad night.  Feel so out of it and so much anxiety.  I am really feeling agitated and hopeless right now.   So many negative hopeless thoughts.  Sorry to be a downer but I need to vent I guess.

[Dejavu]

@RandyJames, I'm there too tonight. This is no kind of life. Everything you said is what I'm feeling right now. All this pain and no gain in sight. I'm sorry also for being so negative, but no where else to turn. Even with family and friends who are supportive, they can never understand what's it like to live in these damaged bodies, and I'm glad they can't. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

 

I hope we all have a better tomorrow.

[RandyJames]

@Dejavu.  Sorry to here you're feeling bad.   It really is frustrating that people have no clue what this is like.  It's like having invisible beartraps clamped onto you.  The worst thing is not knowing if it will be ok eventually.  If there were just a date to count down to, even a far off one, it would be a lot easier.  

 

I hope we all have a better tomorrow as well

[RandyJames]

I had maybe 4 hours of sleep last night.  No limb jerking at all but sleep is worse and woke up with even worse spinning thoughts.  I feel so bad. I don't know how to cope with it.  So much anxiety and so tired. I'm having so much trouble even typing this out right now.  I'm going to call my psychiatrist today but I know there's nothing he can do.  He's a great guy but the only thing he can really do is offer different med choices.  He does realize I'm in tolerance WD but also thinks I'm having sleep apnea and tonsil problems which he thinks might be causing the anxiety and insomnia but I know for a fact it's the meds as I know this feeling exactly from WD before so I feel like there is nowhere to turn. 

 

[Frogie]

22 minutes ago, RandyJames said:

I had maybe 4 hours of sleep last night.  No limb jerking at all but sleep is worse and woke up with even worse spinning thoughts.  I feel so bad. I don't know how to cope with it.  So much anxiety and so tired. I'm having so much trouble even typing this out right now.  I'm going to call my psychiatrist today but I know there's nothing he can do.  He's a great guy but the only thing he can really do is offer different med choices.  He does realize I'm in tolerance WD but also thinks I'm having sleep apnea and tonsil problems which he thinks might be causing the anxiety and insomnia but I know for a fact it's the meds as I know this feeling exactly from WD before so I feel like there is nowhere to turn. 

 

Randy-James:

 

I don’t want to tell you what to do in any little way. They mods on here are very knowledgeable and helpful. You are lucky to have Alto helping you. She’s awesome. Like you already answered yourself, your psychiatrist can’t do anything for you other than to offer different meds. Unfortunately, they don’t know what to do when people are in this predicament. The only thing I can say is hold until you are stable. That’s what I had to do many times. I just noticed you went down on your dosage. You are going to feel effects for a week or maybe a little longer.  Have you tried magnesium? A lot of people have great success with that calming them down. I didn’t unfortunately. But just take a small dose and see if it will help you. All I can say is hold on and you will stabilize. This is no fun at all.

 

 I wish you the best. Hang in there.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[RandyJames]

@FrogieThanks Frogie.  I did just lower my dose but I had only just raised it 5 days before hand because I had started feeling WD symptoms while on my normal dose of 20mg for a couple of months now.  When I went up to 30 I started having more limb jerking in the night so I dropped back down.  I have been feeling steadily worse since like late January without altering my dose at all so it's hard to say if the brief increase and then drop made me feel worse or if it's just progressing as it was.  It's so frustrating.  That's not even the word for it.   Sorry to be such a downer.  I hope better days are coming.

 

You take care too

RJ

[Frogie]

32 minutes ago, RandyJames said:

@FrogieThanks Frogie.  I did just lower my dose but I had only just raised it 5 days before hand because I had started feeling WD symptoms while on my normal dose of 20mg for a couple of months now.  When I went up to 30 I started having more limb jerking in the night so I dropped back down.  I have been feeling steadily worse since like late January without altering my dose at all so it's hard to say if the brief increase and then drop made me feel worse or if it's just progressing as it was.  It's so frustrating.  That's not even the word for it.   Sorry to be such a downer.  I hope better days are coming.

 

You take care too

RJ

The mods have a lot of knowledge and experience and can help you a great deal with all of this.

 

 I just know go slow and steady. You’ll have symptoms but not as bad as your CT by any means, I hope.

 

I hope this works out for you, but you’re in the right place.

 

Keep me informed on how you’re doing.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[RandyJames]

@Frogie  Thanks for the encouragement.  I truly need it and it's much appreciated.

 

 

[Frogie]

5 minutes ago, RandyJames said:

@Frogie  Thanks for the encouragement.  I truly need it and it's much appreciated.

 

 

No problem. I think we can all use encouragement.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[RandyJames]

My brain fog and anxiety are so bad I can't stand it.   I tried taking a magnesium tablet to see if it helps at all.  This is the worst day I've had yet.  I hope so much to get more sleep tonight.  

 

 

[Dejavu]

Well, I was just posting to see if your day had improved, but question answered. Im so sorry. I'm feeling the same; been lying in bed all day with cortisol surges shooting through me every few minutes. 

 

External stressors play such a huge role in all this, and it seems you've got plenty of those. I know you are handling pressing real estate issues and taking care of family matters. I'm not sure I could handle those things right now, so my hat is off to you, my friend. You are very strong. Moving to a new place? Hell, I can barely get out of bed! I understand you've had the recent deaths of your parents as well. I am very sorry for your losses. Losing your parents changes who you are forever. 

 

 I'm in the same boat - my dear sweet mother was critically ill for 2 years, requiring round the clock care, which I and my brothers were privileged to provide, but combined with operating a full time business in the very demanding legal industry at the same time was taxing to say the very least. In late 2016, a good friend passed away. Then in December of 2017, my only sister died suddenly. My mom finally followed this past June, and it was not peaceful - she suffered tremendously. A few months later, one of my only two remaining siblings had to have a heart valve replacement - he almost died. While he was in the hospital, my other brother collapsed and had to have a quadruple bypass! I couldn't believe it. I'm still grieving and triggered and trying to run a business while navigating this wd at the same time. I'm stuck in anxiety and depression, which I'm afraid is compromising my ability to stabilize. Well, that and moving my doses up and down. I've got to cut that %^&$ out. I updosed 2 weeks ago for 5 days, then changed my mind and went back down. Day 6 of the reduction now, so I guess that's one reason why I feel so rotten.

 

How can our nervous systems be expected to settle and stabilize when we're under such constant pressure? I hope the magnesium works for you. Sending you healing energy! 

[RandyJames]

@DejavuThanks so much for checking up on me.  I'm sorry you are having a bad day too and so very sorry to hear about your losses.  That's so much to go through in so short an amount of time. It hurts so bad to loose family.  I hope you're brothers are doing well.  

 

While I was typing this my psychiatrist called me back finally.  He actually wants me to start tapering the Lexapro and he ordered me the liquid version.  I'm going to go and see him tomorrow and he'll show me how to work the syringe.   I don't think he's getting what I'm saying about the 10 percent taper I want to do.  He is talking about having me drop 1 drop out of it tonight and then if I feel ok to do two drops tomorrow.  He didn't say what his plans are from there but I can tell you it's NOT the way I want to do it.  I want to follow the 10% then hold for 28 days and so on but I am having trouble understanding the Liquid Lex taper instruction on this site.  I get the time frame but I'm not understanding the measuring.  I've never been great at math and my brain is just not working well at all right now.  I need to get it figured out though.  

 

The magnesium so far hasn't helped anything unfortunately.  Anxiety and unreal feeling are really bad today. 

 

I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

 

[Dejavu]

RJ, please read this before you see your doctor - 

 

I'm going to beg you not to try your doctor's taper. This is not a good plan. You will suffer. He is going to try to rush you off. This is not good. Can you tell him that you've reconsidered and would like instead to try an updose to 30 or 40mgs? That way you will be sure to get all the pills you need to do a correct taper. Psychiatrists will usually not support a 10% taper, and if they know you're tapering at all they will micro-manage it and control how much medication you have access to. The end result is usually suffering (yours, not theirs, of course!).  My former doctor almost derailed my klonopin taper due to her ego - she thought my taper was "ridiculous" and threatened to cut me off if I didn't "get things moving." Fortunately I had a stockpile to hold me until I found another doctor, or I would have been forced to CT. 

 

Lesson learned. Here's how I've handled my current zoloft taper: I'm currently on 26.25mg. I told my doctor that I feel wonderful on 37.5mgs to make sure she gives me enough pills. She doesn't even know I'm tapering - she thinks I've given up and "finally understand that I need to be medicated for life." She considers me a nice, compliant patient and she's thrilled that I'm taking more than the "lowest therapeutic dose." Since she thinks I've abandoned the idea of tapering, she won't rx the liquid (which is fine - I had trouble finding a pharmacy who carried it and it wasn't covered by my insurance anyway). So I use homemade liquid (I'm reallyreallyreally horrible at math too, but I got the hang of it; my husband mixes my dose only because my hands shake so badly right now, but it does help to have two sets of eyes on it, so maybe your wife could help). There are many people here who can talk you through the measurements at any time - this can be done, I promise. You need a millimeter syringe (I got an 8 pack on Amazon for about 6 bucks) and a pill cutter (Amazon or any drug store). We dissolve one 25mg tablet in room temp bottled water - don't know how much, because thats hubby's department, and in a separate bottle we dissolve another 1/2 pill. With the syringe, we pull out 1.25 mg of liquid from the bottle that has the dissolved half pill and empty it into the bottle with the full 25mg pill dissolved in it (25+1.25= 26.25 mg). I drink it, then rinse the bottle and drink the rinse. We keep the leftover liquid in the fridge for 3 days, then throw it out and use another half pill.It's doable, and the best way to control your own destiny.

 

I'm tagging @Altostrata and @ChessieCat in this post because I want the mods to weigh in as to my suggestions. I don't feel qualified to make suggestions to others that the mods don't "bless." I'm hoping they will weigh in, and that you read this before your appointment.

 

Let me know how it all goes. Sending healing energy! 

[Altostrata]

That taper does seem fast, especially since it accelerates the lower you go.

 

You could accept the Lexapro liquid and taper according to your own preference. As Dejavu says, you can report you're doing okay without any specifics.

 

Do you have sleep apnea? That could be a serious complication of your situation.

 

How much Prozac were you taking when you quit cold turkey in 2017? What dosage of Lexapro did you switch to? Please update your signature with drug dosages.

 

What time of day do you take 20mg Lexapro? What is your symptom pattern for the next 6 hours?

 

I'm wondering if your anxiety might not be poop-out or withdrawal but an adverse effect of Lexapro. it's possible a switch to Celexa might help. It's a close relative of Lexapro but not as strong.

 

[Dejavu]

Thank you for stepping in @Altostrata. Much appreciated.

[RandyJames]

12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

That taper does seem fast, especially since it accelerates the lower you go.

 

You could accept the Lexapro liquid and taper according to your own preference. As Dejavu says, you can report you're doing okay without any specifics.

 

Do you have sleep apnea? That could be a serious complication of your situation.

 

How much Prozac were you taking when you quit cold turkey in 2017? What dosage of Lexapro did you switch to? Please update your signature with drug dosages.

 

What time of day do you take 20mg Lexapro? What is your symptom pattern for the next 6 hours?

 

I'm wondering if your anxiety might not be poop-out or withdrawal but an adverse effect of Lexapro. it's possible a switch to Celexa might help. It's a close relative of Lexapro but not as strong.

 

@Altostrata@DejavuThanks so much for your guys help.  It means a lot!

 

Don't worry, I am not planning on following his taper. His plan was definitely too fast for me.  I want to do the 10% taper.   I also don't think there will be a problem with him filling the liquid for me if I do it differently than his way. He is very open minded so I think it will be ok.   I am seeing him at noon today and I'll talk to him about all of this.   I'll update after I get back.  My big concern is doing the liquid measurement properly.  Chessiecat kindly sent me a link to a taper calculator so I can use that to calculate decreases but I am concerned with understanding the syringe measures.  I'll have the syringes today so maybe when it's in front of me I'll begin understanding.  

 

@Altostrata

I do have sleep apnea.  I'm not diagnosed but in addition to my wife saying I've stopped breathing and snore I have woken up while just falling to sleep with my throat sucked into itself and felt I was suffocating.  I need to get that sorted out.

 

I think I was on 40 mg Prozac when I switched to Lexapro, I can't quite remember anymore.  I went onto 10mg Lexapro and it didn't help so around a month later I went up to 20mgs and that's when I started getting relief which lasted until about a month and a half ago when symptoms began returning at same dose.  Also I was on 20mgs Lexapro for 4.5 or 5 years before I switched over to Prozac.  

 

I take my Lexapro at bedtime, usually 9:00pm.   My nightly symptom pattern fluctuates.  Some nights I get more sleep than others but I always wake up a couple of times a night for varying lengths of time.  The most relief I have all day is during the night as the anxiety seems dulled some.  I have random limb jerking which has been a bit better.   Come early morning, like 4:30 or 5:30 I awake with the anxiety rush and dread.  Hopeless thoughts and agitation start up right away.   Every morning I try and lay there to go back to sleep but It's useless.  To much anxiety and my mind just races.  Brain fog is also there immediately upon waking and it raises my anxiety even more.  Right now I am having nerve twitching in my left leg and backs of my arms.  

 

The reason I doubt I'm having an adverse reaction to the Lexapro is that I was on it for so long even before the Prozac without these issues.  Also when I was in WD from Cymbalta and again from Prozac both times is when I felt this way, but worse as I had CT'd.  Up until Late January I was sleeping well and waking up feeling ok and even drinking coffee.  I have quit coffee now for two months about.  I don't know what to make of all of this.  

 

Thanks for helping.

RJ

 

 

[Altostrata]

We are very familiar with Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing cortisol spikes

 

Please read Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Your sleep apnea complicates the question of withdrawal insomnia.

 

Prior to "poop out," did you accidentally forget to take a dose of Lexapro, or take it at a different time? What do you mean "WD feelings are back"? What are those feelings? Is that what you mean by "poop out"?

 

Can you gradually move your Lexapro dose one earlier in the day each day until you are taking it at noon? Please keep notes of symptom changes.

[ChessieCat]

45 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Can you gradually move your Lexapro dose one earlier in the day each day until you are taking it at noon? Please keep notes of symptom changes.

 

Alto meant to say 1 hour earlier each day.

[RandyJames]

30 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Your sleep apnea complicates the question of withdrawal insomnia.

 

Prior to "poop out," did you accidentally forget to take a dose of Lexapro, or take it at a different time? What do you mean "WD feelings are back"? What are those feelings? Is that what you mean by "poop out"?

 

Can you gradually move your Lexapro dose one earlier in the day each day until you are taking it at noon? Please keep notes of symptom changes.

The feelings I've been dealing with are anxiety; especially first thing in the morning, brain fog, really dark depression, nerve twitching all over, limbs jerk while I'm sleeping not awake,  poor sleep and weird lightheadedness.  I had all of these things happen to me when I had quit SSRI's both times as well as extra things like brain zaps and crying bouts, and the symptoms were all much worse at those times than now.  

 

I believe I did miss a dose a couple of different times but not for at least a couple of months.  I probably did miss a dose around the time that things started to go downhill a couple of months back, though I have missed doses before without any ill effect.  Maybe a month ago I did try taking the Lexapro in the morning for like a week or so then switched back.  When I tried this I had already been feeling off but maybe that did mess with things.  I hadn't really thought of that.

 

I can try moving my dose back an hour until I reach noon.  Is this to see if it is amping me up during the night and causing the anxiety?  

 

Thanks Alto.  I really appreciate your help!

[Altostrata]

6 minutes ago, RandyJames said:

Is this to see if it is amping me up during the night and causing the anxiety?

 

Yes.

 

When you go on and off drugs, experience adverse reactions and withdrawal symptoms, and maybe skip a dose here and there, your nervous system can become hypersensitive to the drug. You can start reacting oddly to it. It could be that 20mg Lexapro hasn't pooped out, you're reacting badly to it now.

 

The twitches are a side effect of the Lexapro, you've already demonstrated that.

[RandyJames]

@Altostrata@ChessieCat

 

I was hoping you could tell me if I am correct with these conversions. I'm sorry I am so dense.

 

I have my liquid Lexapro and it says to take 20 ml.  I am currently taking the 20mg tablets.  I thought 1 gram equals 1ml.  If I'm taking 20mgs how is that equal to 20ml if 1 gram equals 1 ml? 

The bottle says its a 5mg/5ml solution.  Is the solution just made in a way to equal out? To equal my current dose of 20mg would I take 4 full 5ml syringes of the liquid?

 

I'm not going to even try a taper tonight so I will be taking my tablet.  I was going to wait until after we move out but I'm thinking that maybe you are right that I've become sensitive to Lexapro and maybe it's worth dropping a little bit to see if less helps.  So I'd like to try tomorrow night but I am worried I have the measures wrong.  

 

Thanks so much

[ChessieCat]

We suggest that members do a cross over when changing the form of their drug.  The gives your system a chance to adapt to the change in delivery.  Each combination 3/4 + 1/4, 1/2 + 1/2, 1/4 + 3/4 for 3 to 7 days.

 

A suggestion:  instead of changing to all liquid it might be better if you can get the doctor to prescribe 10mg and 5mg tablets and you can take the balance in liquid.

 

Also, please note that we recommend only making one change at a time, eg you wouldn't change the time of your dose and introduce liquid, or introduce liquid and make a reduction.  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

[RandyJames]

8 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

We suggest that members do a cross over when changing the form of their drug.  The gives your system a chance to adapt to the change in delivery.  Each combination 3/4 + 1/4, 1/2 + 1/2, 1/4 + 3/4 for 3 to 7 days.

 

A suggestion:  instead of changing to all liquid it might be better if you can get the doctor to prescribe 10mg and 5mg tablets and you can take the balance in liquid.

 

Also, please note that we recommend only making one change at a time, eg you wouldn't change the time of your dose and introduce liquid, or introduce liquid and make a reduction.  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

Thanks ChessieCat

 

I'm sure he will prescribe the tablets if I ask him.  I saw him yesterday and he was open to doing it how ever I decided but was suggesting a different route.  He's cooperative but clueless.  He even suggested shock therapy if I have a bad reaction while tapering which really made it clear he doesn't get the situation.  It's really frustrating.  There's no way I would ever consent to that.  

 

Could you help me with the conversions for ml please?  I just want to make sure I understand so I don't take to much or to little when I start this.  I really need to understand this. 

 

The bottle says its a 5mg/5ml solution.  The syringe is a 5ml syringe.  If I were to try and match my 20mg tablet dose with liquid, would that be 4 of the 5mg syringes?  Would that be correct?  

 

Thanks so much

 

 

[Frogie]

Hi:

 

Just wondered how you are doing?

 

I noticed that you went to liquid. ChessieCat is very knowledgeable at this,  but that’s what I am on. Yes, to get your 20mg you would use 4 of the 5ml syringes. I would ask the pharmacy for a 10ml syringe if they have them.  She will explain in detail how to switch over though. 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[RandyJames]

1 hour ago, Frogie said:

Hi:

 

Just wondered how you are doing?

 

I noticed that you went to liquid. ChessieCat is very knowledgeable at this,  but that’s what I am on. Yes, to get your 20mg you would use 4 of the 5ml syringes. I would ask the pharmacy for a 10ml syringe if they have them.  She will explain in detail how to switch over though. 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Hi Frogie.  Thanks so much for checking up on me.   I appreciate it very much!   I'm not doing good.  I'm going to do a symptom log after this that will sum it up. Thanks for the info on mg/ml.  I was confused because as 1 gram equals 1ml how could 1mg equal 5ml.  I was worried something was way wrong and I was going to take to much.  

 

How are you feeling?  Any improvements?  

 

I haven't started the liquid yet.  I took my normal 20mg dose last night.  ChessieCat recommends that I take both tablets and liquid at first to cross over slowly and then switch to liquid.  Did you do it this way or switch straight to liquid?  I'm really afraid of starting my taper.  I just don't know what to expect.  I don't want to feel any worse but I have to do something as staying on my 20mgs is not working out at all.  I've been worse while in cold turkey but how I'm feeling now is just not ok either.  I'm so mad at medicine.  It's bad enough what I've been through but for my wife and kids to have me in this shape, in the past and now, is really making me angry.  They deserve way better than this.  My doctor actually suggested shock therapy as a possibility yesterday.  Heck no to that.  I don not need a seizure on top of everything else and how in the heck could that fix what the pills have done to me?  It can't.  I always feel bad getting angry at him though because he is a very approachable guy and always returns calls etc.  He and other doctors just need to have the personal experience of what these meds do because without that they'll just never get it.  

[RandyJames]

Symptoms list from last night until today at noon.

 

9:00pm Took my 20mg Lexapro and went to bed. Fell asleep at 10:00.

 

I don't keep a clock by me at night.  I woke up probably around 3:00 am and never fully fell asleep again.  Sort of in and out of shallow sleep with long wide awake periods.  Head full of random racing thoughts.

 

5:30ish anxiety started to spike.  Stayed in bed hoping for more sleep but nothing.

 

8:00 got up finally. 

 

8:00am to present 12:00pm  Lots of anxiety.  My brain fog continues and I am feeling extra lightheaded today.  It's a swimming feeling.  Lots of nerve twitches and inner tension.  My muscles are very stiff but have been for awhile.  

 

 

 

 

 

[Dejavu]

Hi RJ, I transitioned over 3 days to liquid using Chessie's advice. It was a non-event for me. I felt no better or worse for it. You might want to take longer though. Just wanted to set your mind at ease a little. Hope that helps.