Kernol: was doing well on my sertraline taper but now in hell and doc reinstated

[Kernol]

Thanks @Katy398 that’s really kind of you. Will look at it now 

[Kernol]

21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Please remind yourself to forgive yourself for any mistakes you've made. When these thoughts of guilt and shame come up, say to yourself, "I forgive myself."

 

It will take a while for that diazepam reduction to fully take effect. I hope to see your mid-day symptoms gradually get less intense.

 

With the reductions in the 2 drugs, the drug balance in your body is shifting. Hang in there.

 

thanks @Altostrata I will remind myself of that.

 

I hope there will be some relief soon. I am unsure if the afternoon/eve peak in symptoms is a paradoxical reaction to diazepam build up in the day as I do get some anxiolytic effect from the Evening dose and also it seems to be kicking up before the middle dose? It seems like I am getting a window of 2-3 hours of slightly reduced anxiety from the morning diazepam and usually a small reduction after the evening dose but in between that it is overwhelming and feels purely chemical. I know diazepam has a long half life but I have never got more than 2-3 hours mild anxiolytic effect from each dose except maybe when I was taking higher doses like 15mg-20mg a day earlier in my taper. Maybe the morning and evening diazepam doses are just masking the intensity of the AD withdrawals a bit. Or maybe for some reason the vortioxetine withdrawal is just not as bad in the morning. I don’t know. 

 

16/11

 

9.00am got up felt some chemical feeling anxiety on waking took 2mg diazepam

10.00am had breakfast and did crossword feel a bit calmer

11.30am walk to corner shop, find this hard. Feel a little bit peculiar and everything around me feels depressing. Random memory comes of a dream I had months ago - try and let it pass
12.30pm chemical anxiety feeling rising, try and do some housework. Head vice feeling getting stronger and tingling 

1.00pm view of the world starts to change everything feels threatening not in a paranoid way just discomforting and a definite chemical feel to it

1.30pm try and watch Big Bang theory but the discomforting feeling is still there and I feel peculiar 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam

3.00pm go to lay down as feel too strange and do some deep breathing. Take 0.85mg vortioxetine 

4.00pm try and do an online quiz. Even adverts on there i am having a bizarre reaction to. I feel like I’ve taken a hallucinogenic drug or something I just feel peculiar and getting bizarre intense reactions to things. They feel different than a few days ago in terms of the feeling itself. Brain feels like it’s burning and back is burning 
5.30pm manage to have dinner

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam. 
7.45pm world feels a bit less distorted I feel a bit more normal albeit still with anxiety.  
9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.30pm restless legs are back so finding it hard to get to sleep

12.00am sleep fitfully in and out til 4am night sweats too

4.00am - 6.00am waking repeatedly with cortisol rushes and a deeper intense feeling of fear. Back is burning. 

6.00am - 7.00am waking with a couple of strong  Teeth clenches. Same as last night not until the morning. Head feels electric tingling. 
 

 

[Altostrata]

Please clarify, Kernol, do you feel better or worse 2 p.m.-3 p.m. after you take diazepam? This would be before you take vortioxetine.

[Kernol]

Hi @Altostrata it’s hard to say Definitively but I think things just seem to get progressively worse from about midday onwards certainly in the last few days. 

[Altostrata]

Please pay special attention to what happens 2 p.m.-5 p.m.

 

It looks like the jaw clenching is somewhat better at night?

[Kernol]

Ok thanks @Altostrata I will do that. Yes the teeth clenching the last few nights has only occurred much later into the morning before rising  at 6-7am approx. 

[Altostrata]

Hmmm, maybe that's an overlap between morning cortisol stimulation and vortioxetine.

 

I know it's rough, but my guess is you'll feel more settled when you're free of vortioxetine. Please continue to let us know how you're doing.

[Kernol]

I will do of course @Altostrata I hope so too I do feel that Vortioxetine is a very potent and nasty drug. My appetite has generally been  better in the last week or so which is also positive

[Altostrata]

9 minutes ago, Kernol said:

My appetite has generally been  better in the last week or so which is also positive

 

!!!!!!!!!!! [Insert happy dance here]

[Shep]

22 hours ago, Kernol said:

9.00am got up felt some chemical feeling anxiety on waking took 2mg diazepam

10.00am had breakfast and did crossword feel a bit calmer

 

Kernol, do you usually feel better after eating breakfast? Do you always eat breakfast after taking diazepam? Can you tell if it was breakfast that led to feeling better or was it diazepam?
 

Sorry for the questions, but I'm trying to tell if it's the drug that's helping or if it's eating, since blood sugar drops overnight and can lead to symptoms of anxiety, fatigue, nausea, etc. which are also withdrawal symptoms. You rarely mention eating breakfast, so it may be helpful to add in when you eat meals to your daily journal so we can track any patterns. 

[Kernol]

Hi @Shep I will add in my meals. I rarely eat breakfast so I think it is certainly the diazepam as this has been the case for some time. 

[Kernol]

17/11

 

9.00am got up. Golf on tv made me feel peculiar, it didn’t look real on the screen and made me feel anxious. took 2mg diazepam

felt bit calmer after about 30 minutes 

10.15am had breakfast

11.30am did some housework, had random memory.

11.45am notice anxiety is feeling a bit stronger 

12.30pm had lunch 

1.00pm Places on TV still making me feel a bit strange like an intense chemical anxiety/ de ja vu feeling 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam and do some online quiz games

3.00pm take 0.8mg vortioxetine 

4.00pm lie down as feeling anxious

4.30pm watch football match on TV 

6.00pm have dinner but in my bedroom 

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam

8.00pm feeling calmer but could be because I am ready to sleep

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.30pm restless legs have returned a bit so hard to get off to sleep. 

12.00pm - 4.00am couple of nightmares and night sweats 
5am - strong cortisol rushes and teeth clenching. No disorientation on waking though

 

18/11

 

8.00am got up had shower, feel some anxious Intrusive thoughts creeping in but continue with getting ready 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam

10.00am have a smoothie

10.15am do some online quizzes 

11.00am Put laundry on

11.45am have a random memory of girl I used to know at school 

12.30pm have lunch. Anxiety a little stronger 

1.00pm more quizzes as not much work emails 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam. 

3.00pm not noticed much change in anxiety levels either up /down since 2pm dose. 
3.15pm take 0.75mg vortioxetine

4.00pm play more quizzes. Not noticing any change in anxiety up/down 

5.00pm start to prepare dinner for husband.

6.00pm have dinner 

6.30pm read a sad story on news and feels like a knife through my heart. Emotions really exaggerated and takes me a while to calm down

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam

8.00pm lying down in bed. Not noticed much of a change in anxiety after diazepam dose tonight

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline

10.30pm wake up with nightmare and cold night sweat 

11.30pm wake up with another nightmare and strong teeth clenching 

12.00am -4.00am in and out of sleep with more teeth clenching and my hands and arms feeling numb. Also fingers are sometimes moving when I wake up. Not had this for a couple of weeks at least.

 

[Kernol]

19/11

 

8.00am get up have shower,  feel some burning and anxious feelings in stomach 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam

10.00am feel slightly calmer, do some house work and online quiz 

11.00 have some toast

11.30am do some work emails 

12.00pm have psychologist visit - goes okay. 
1.20pm start to feel anxiety rising a bit 

1.30pm have some light lunch

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam

2.30pm do online quizzes

3.00pm put laundry on, take 0.7mg vortioxetine

4.00pm electric anxiety feeling a bit higher 

4.30pm electric anxiety chemical feeling gets stronger and back starts to burn 

5.00pm head vice feeling and tingling in head starts, start to get strong emotional reactions to   Innocuous places I’ve been in the past

6.00pm manage to eat small meal

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam, feel bit calmer so try and watch TV programme - have a very intense chemical anxiety reaction to it a feeling I can’t even describe so strong. I have to stop watching 

8.00pm lay down to try and calm down from the TV reaction but still very high chemical feeling. Feel scared that an innocent TV programme can cause this and also scared by this new alien feeling emotion. It was like my brain misfiring as it was intense anxiety mixed up with random memories and de ja vu feelings can’t even describe. 

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.00pm some restless legs but not too strong 

10.30pm - teeth clenching starts

11.00pm - 4.00am - strong chemical anxiety and teeth clenching waking me 

5.00am wake with strong cortisol rush and intense nerve burning feeling in back

6.00am - attempts to go back to sleep are just like instant nightmares and teeth clenching so get up with intense headache

 

hi @Altostrata unfortunately the teeth clenching has returned the last couple of nights and also Having some Very strong chemical anxiety that seems to be changing how it feels physically and mentally on a daily basis. I hope this is just still the vortioxetine withdrawal? 

 

 

 

[Kernol]

Also today has been extreme Chemical feeling  anxiety all day with no respite and the morning diazepam didn’t touch it. I could feel it rising yesterday evening and during night and it hasn’t gone down all day. It’s definitely the worst day for a couple of weeks in terms of anxiety. I had been at least having some pockets in the day where I wasn’t overwhelmed but today It’s very intense and all my usual techniques are not easing it at all. I also have a very bad headache all day and feel extremely tired. Is this just a catch up of the vortioxetine drops do you think??

[Altostrata]

It could be the reduction in vortioxetine, Kernol. It looks to me like you're still having an adverse reaction after taking it, though that's not consistent, so perhaps the overall lower level of it is reducing that part of the reaction. I would continue to reduce vortioxetine.

 

The diazepam reduction may be now taking effect.

 

I am truly sorry this is so difficult. You're doing brilliantly, coping with it.

[Kernol]

20/11

 

8.00am get up and have shower. Strong chemical anxiety feeling and bad headache and pain behind my eyes with fatigue

9.00am take 2mg diazepam, eat breakfast 

10.00am chemical anxiety feeling v strong, no reduction really as I would normally get a small lessening after morning dose

11.00am do crossword

12.00pm watching horse racing with husband and have some bizarre Anxiety reaction to a field. Feel like I’m going mad but tell myself it is just chemical and will pass. 
1.00pm anxiety is so strong I have to lay down I don’t know what else to do with myself 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam

3.00pm no relief still very strong all I can do is breathe and try not to even think about anything. Take 0.65mg vortioxetine

4.00pm headache and fatigue very strong but I can’t sleep as anxiety wakes me as soon as I close my eyes

5.30pm have small dinner 

6.30pm still laying down just breathing and telling myself it will pass

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam

7.45pm seems to have reduced a small amount 

8.30pm play online quiz

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.00pm some restless legs but manage to get to sleep.

11.30pm -2.00am fitful sleep with nightmares 

3.00am wake with teeth clenching 

4.00am wake with nightmare and back Nerve burning feeling and teeth clenching 

5.00am wake again with anxiety and feel depressed and fatigued with headache still there and pain behind eyes  ( could be possibly pre-menstrual? had uptick in withdrawal symptoms during year with sertraline taper and similar fatigue and headaches before period which I never had before withdrawal) 

 

[Kernol]

Hi @Altostrata thank you I will continue reducing the vortioxetine. There is possibly a hormonal element I mention above - don’t know but it may be having an impact as well? 

[Altostrata]

Yes, you could get worse symptoms at points in your cycle. Ibuprofen can be helpful for pre-menstrual symptoms.

[Faure]

Hello Kernol, I am very new to this forum and am ok at the moment. I have read through many of your posts (and the replies from the mods) and just wanted to say I am so sorry to see everything you have been going through. You are amazingly strong.

[Kernol]

Thanks @Faure that’s nice of you to stop by and say so. 

[Kernol]

21/10

 

8.00am got up had shower, felt a bit of depression and chemical anxiety in stomach

9.00am took 2mg diazepam

10.00am feel a tiny bit calmer

10.40am have breakfast 

11.00am do some work emails

12.30pm start getting some peculiar feelings just watching the golf on TV - strong chemical feeling about the sunny surroundings of the golf course start to panic as this is so random

1.00pm have small lunch and do crossword with husband. Starting to get a lot of memories of the past rapid fire 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam 

2.30pm hear what sounds like a lawnmower outside although it’s a sander machine or something and gives me a memory of summers in my childhood with lawnmowers going and makes me feel nauseated with anxiety - again start to get upset by this - seems like anything in my past causes this reaction at the moment. It’s frightening but tell myself it won’t be like this 

3.00pm take 0.6mg vortioxetine 

4.00pm fatigue and headache is strong 

5.00pm have dinner 

6.00pm go and lie down as anxiety is strong. Try and do some deep breathing 

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam 

8.00pm very tired but tiny bit calmer

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.30pm - 12.00am waking with lots of cold night sweats and anxious dreams 

12.00am - 4.00am fitful sleep 

4.00am -  cortisol rushes and tingling head

5.00am -6.00am some teeth clenching waking me

 

22/11

 

8.00am get up have shower, feel some chemical anxiety but not as strong as previous morning 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam

10.00am feel calmer and decide to go with husband to big supermarket (not been able to contemplate this for months)

10.30am go around supermarket lots of feelings of dread and doom and anxiety but manage it and quite pleased with myself

11.30am return home - as soon as walk through door feel strange. Things feel unfamiliar and I have a strong memory of going to a supermarket 11 years ago when I struggled to do this and it feels like I’m there. 
12.30pm feeling still there and house feels unfamiliar. 
1.00pm have strong chemical anxiety reaction to a man on the horse racing on TV for no apparent reason and then some random memories come. Starting to feel a bit depressed, like my mood is really lowering 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam, have to lie down as depression is getting stronger. try and sleep but feel worse on waking 

3.00pm take 0.55mg vortioxetine, feel a bit scared of my mood I have lost all interest in doing anything even my online quizzes 

4.00pm still in bed I feel like I can’t think a positive thought all I can think is random memories with feelings of fear for no reason. I hear the sanding machine again outside and I get the lawnmower memory again from yesterday and it gives same reaction of old summers in my childhood with a shot of uncomfortable fear for no reason. I start to panic what this means. Tell myself to stop try and working it out as there is no logic.

5.00pm manage some dinner 

6.00pm I can feel the world around me seeming more distant I feel disconnected 

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam

8.00pm not sure I notice much difference tonight from diazepam, very marginal 

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline

10.00pm - 2.00am - very strong depression in my dreams and when waking the depression is really strong. 
2.00am I get up as can’t bear the feelings whilst asleep but I feel like a black cloud has descended. I’m scared of this and How it could have happened overnight

3.00am - 6.00am lay mostly awake with depression wondering how I am going to get through the day. When I fall asleep it is the same intense dreams with anxiety and depression feelings and then I wake with the burning back feeling, some teeth clenching from around 5am.

7.00am get up and feel so down, like a light has been switched off and also anxious. 

 

hi @Altostrata I seem to have fallen into a depression very quickly that got worse overnight. I had hoped it was a premenstrual drop in hormones but no sign of my monthly period yet so now I fear it is the vortioxetine. I haven’t felt this deep depression for sometime. I  am scared and I hope it is just temporary but hard to see it when it comes over you so strong. 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Kernol, I believe you are feeling ups and downs of chemicals in your body. The vortioxetine has been stimulating. You are almost down to 0.5mg vortioxetine. The "brake" effect of the diazepam may be stronger now. Diazepam has a side effect of "depression." Please put up with it temporarily, while you go off vortioxetine.

 

Maybe staying with 0.75mg midday diazepam would be best.

 

Think of yourself as a chemistry experiment. Once you get off vortioxetine, which will be soon, I hope we'll see this settle. Then we can address the other drugs.

 

Your menstrual cycle may be bringing other factors in as well.

 

Please remind yourself all things pass, this is a rough patch caused by drugs, you'll get through it.

[Kernol]

23/11

 

8.00am get up with strong feeling of depression and my mind keeps going to past memories all the time. Terrible headache and tingling in head 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam
10.00am feel a tiny bit calmer. Eat breakfast 

11.00am do crossword with husband. Still feel depression and head and eyes are hurting. 
12.00pm starting to get some strong chemical anxiety and bizarre reactions to things like birds singing and church bells ringing makes me feel anxious and depressed

1.00pm do some tidying to try and distract myself 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam 

3.00pm take 0.50mg vortioxetine. Watch football match with husband on tv 

4.00pm depression seems to be lifting a bit but the strange chemical anxiety reactions are there even with tv adverts 

5.30pm have dinner

6.30pm play some online quiz games

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam 

8.00pm watch football on tv with husband 

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.30pm - 3.00am - slept ok not feeling as depressed when waking 

5.00am - some teeth clenching wakes me 

6.00am - waking with lots of old memories and old dream snippets and cortisol rushes 

 

24/11

 

8.00am get up, feel depressed but not as strong as yesterday morning. headache very bad so take ibuprofen

9.00am take 2mg diazepam, have shower

10.00am have breakfast. Headache is a little better 

11.00am play online quiz games, don’t feel too bad surroundings seem more familiar it feels like home

12.30pm random memories start to come with some chemical feeling anxiety

1.30pm do some housework 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam. Depression has lifted and I start doing online shopping and have some lunch 
3.00pm take 0.45mg vortioxetine 

4.00pm have a good clear out in the house, intermittent random memories and chemical anxiety but able to carry on what I am doing 

5.00pm do some online quizzes, put a new picture up in the living room

6.00pm have dinner

6.30pm still having chemical anxiety and lots of memories all the time but find myself able to think about normal stuff like buying things we need for the house 

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam 

7.30pm still chemical anxiety feelings but able to carry on browsing the internet. My vision is quite blurry.

8.00pm monthly period starts 

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.30pm can’t sleep so start looking at houses for sale on internet, then get strong chemical anxiety reaction to looking at one of them so turn it off.

11.30pm still can’t sleep but not due to anxiety just awake

12.30am fall asleep

2.30am wake up and go to the bathroom and notice my vision in the dark is flickering continually like a strobe light. This really freaks me out. I can’t see because of it. I’ve had it a couple of times in the past but not for a few months and not this bad. Go into the light and it’s okay but as soon as I return to the bedroom in the dark it’s flickering and flashing so strong. 
3.00am takes me a while to get back to sleep after the vision thing

5.00am wake with teeth clenching and some depression. Lots of Old memories coming to mind

7.00am get up - feel strange like all these past memories are so prevalent I feel like I’m living in the past. Feel strong anxiety from this and just feel peculiar 

 

[Kernol]

25/11

 

8.00am got up felt a bit more panicky than usual but not as depressed as previous days. Notice my vision is quite blurred and can’t read on my phone 

9.00am take 2mg diazepam

10.00am walk to corner shop, feel anxious but that’s normal. Teeth feel quite tight today

11.00am do some work emails 

12.20pm very strong chemical anxiety comes on. I have to go and pace and breathe the feeling is very strong 

1.00pm Start looking at photos for work project online and outdoor scenes are setting off the Chemical anxiety. I feel so upset. Back and head start burning. I can’t even look at a photo of a field - it’s so random and so overwhelming when it comes. 
1.30pm notice the stripes on the rug in the living room are really dancing around - vision is even activated 

2.00pm take 0.75mg diazepam 

3.00pm go and lie down as feel scared and start to get negative thoughts that I am Going to always have this chemical anxiety. I tell myself to accept it for now and it will ease in time 

take 0.4mg vortioxetine 

4.00pm constantly having  old memories but not sure if I am unconsciously thinking them to check if they still make me anxious 

5.00pm feel anxious generally - Stomach is churning over 

6.00pm I try some more deep breathing and do my best to accept the anxiety

7.00pm take 2mg diazepam 

7.30pm can manage some dinner now 

8.00pm starting to look online at clothes so must have calmed down. This was unthinkable 2 hours ago 

9.00pm take 16mg sertraline 

10.30pm - 4.00am - anxious restless sleep.  No nightmares that I recall. 
4.00am onwards notice teeth clenching 

6.00am wake up more anxious In a restless Way I have to get up 

 

hi @Altostrata  still getting the strong kick up of chemical anxiety reactions at lunchtime. Then rest of afternoon was pretty bad until you can see I had some relief after the evening dose of diazepam. 
 

I am guessing this is all fairly normal and I can’t expect this chemical anxiety / random memories etc to lessen perhaps for some weeks yet  (if indeed it is the vortioxetine that has been the cause of it) ? 

 

[Altostrata]

Something is happening in the morning. Do you have caffeine with breakfast? Are you taking anything other than diazepam in the morning?

[Kernol]

Hi @Altostrata no I haven’t drunk caffeine for a year since this all started so I just take my diazepam which takes the edge off for 2-2.5 hours usually. I don’t take any supplements or anything else. If 

[Altostrata]

5 hours ago, Kernol said:

still getting the strong kick up of chemical anxiety reactions at lunchtime. Then rest of afternoon was pretty bad until you can see I had some relief after the evening dose of diazepam. 

 

Requesting @Shep 's opinion -- your morning diazepam could be too high a dose. Perhaps you could move 0.25mg to the 2 p.m. dose, so you're taking 1.75mg in the morning and 1mg at 2 p.m.?

 

Have you noticed any symptom pattern change after you take vortioxetine at 3 p.m.

[Kernol]

Hi @Altostrata I have not noticed any difference that I can tell when I have taken the vortioxetine. 
 

 

[Altostrata]

Your anxiety increases after vortioxetine? Even more than what happens around lunchtime?

[Kernol]

Hi @Altostrata I don’t notice it increasing after vortioxetine no. It is really hard to see a pattern in the mid afternoon and evening, sometimes it is bad until I take my evening diazepam dose and other days it is not so unbearable and other evenings even after my evening diazepam it could spike. The only pattern that is daily is this increase at lunchtime which I just assumed to be the effect of the morning diazepam wearing off and revealing the chemical anxiety that I have been attributing to the vortioxetine withdrawal. 

[Altostrata]

No, diazepam is not wearing off, it has a very long half-llfe. The morning dose is peaking, not decreasing, around lunchtime.

 

You used to have a spike in symptoms after taking vortioxetine -- please look back at your symptom pattern.

[Kernol]

Hi @Altostrata Thanks that’s interesting I know diazepam has a long half life but this makes me confused as to why I would only feel positive effects for such a short time after taking it. Could i be getting immune to it / tolerant to it as I definitely only get 2-3 hours max taking the edge off in the morning which usually kicks in about 30/40 minutes after taking it I can feel it slightly dampening down the anxiety only a notch or two and that lasts for a couple of hours then by lunchtime it is back up again and this weird chemical anxiety and strange distorted reactions to stimuli like TV or photos or whatever It might be starts. Of course there have been some mornings where the diazepam doesn’t seem to make any difference but in the main it usually has some effect.
 

Thinking back I switched across to diazepam in February and have been tapering ever since and i seem to always recall its effects wearing off between doses and not lasting that long. 
 

i have no idea what all of this means for me!? 

[Altostrata]

That might be what's called a paradoxical reaction to too much diazepam at once. Asking @Shep's opinion,

[Kernol]

Ok thanks @Altostrata it’s all so confusing and I am concerned about it as I had hoped it was vortioxetine withdrawal not a diazepam reaction. Are you not of the opinion now that the chemical anxiety / random memories is vortioxetine withdrawal?  I suppose it is an impossible question I am asking. I am still having teeth clenching at night - now I am questioning whether any of these symptoms are related to vortioxetine?! It’s so hard to know what causes what. 
 

It is just coming up to 9.30pm I took 2mg diazepam 2 and a half hours ago and I don’t have any of the chemical anxiety stuff I get at lunchtime so I don’t know why I would only get a paradoxical reaction to the morning dose but maybe it has to do with the fact it’s nearing bed time as opposed to morning. Also why some mornings the diazepam dose doesn’t seem to do anything is also strange. 
 

thanks for asking @Shep to look at this for me

[Kernol]

2 minutes ago, Kernol said:

Ok thanks @Altostrata it’s all so confusing and I am concerned about it as I had hoped it was vortioxetine withdrawal not a diazepam reaction. Are you not of the opinion now that the chemical anxiety / random memories is vortioxetine withdrawal?  I suppose it is an impossible question I am asking. I am still having teeth clenching at night although not as strong as it has been some weeks ago - now I am questioning whether any of these symptoms are related to vortioxetine?! It’s so hard to know what causes what. 
 

I am also disturbed about the strobe light effect of my vision in the dark the other night - continuous flickering until I went back into the light. I also have blurred vision I have noticed when trying to read on my phone. I have totally normal vision so this Is completely new to me and with the strange movement when I look at the pattern on the rug in my living room / I am wondering what normally causes this type of symptom? 
 

It is just coming up to 9.30pm I took 2mg diazepam 2 and a half hours ago and I don’t have any of the chemical anxiety stuff I get at lunchtime so I don’t know why I would only get a paradoxical reaction to the morning dose but maybe it has to do with the fact it’s nearing bed time as opposed to morning. Also why some mornings the diazepam dose doesn’t seem to do anything is also strange. 
 

thanks for asking @Shep to look at this for me

 

[Shep]

16 hours ago, Kernol said:

Thanks that’s interesting I know diazepam has a long half life but this makes me confused as to why I would only feel positive effects for such a short time after taking it. Could i be getting immune to it / tolerant to it as I definitely only get 2-3 hours max taking the edge off in the morning which usually kicks in about 30/40 minutes after taking it I can feel it slightly dampening down the anxiety only a notch or two and that lasts for a couple of hours then by lunchtime it is back up again and this weird chemical anxiety and strange distorted reactions to stimuli like TV or photos or whatever It might be starts. Of course there have been some mornings where the diazepam doesn’t seem to make any difference but in the main it usually has some effect.

 

We previously discussed whether some of your symptoms might be related to eating breakfast and other meals. 

 

Are you including all your meals in your notes now? It looks like some days you eat breakfast and some days you don't eat anything until dinner. Please post in your notes when you eat throughout the day. Please note this information from the FDA site for Valium:

 

Quote

Absorption is delayed and decreased when administered with a moderate fat meal. In the presence of food mean lag times are approximately 45 minutes as compared with 15 minutes when fasting. There is also an increase in the average time to achieve peak concentrations to about 2.5 hours in the presence of food as compared with 1.25 hours when fasting.

 

So some of the fluctuations in symptom patterns could be coming from whether or not you've eaten.

 

If you can, try to eat consistently when you take your drugs. This will help parse through your symptoms and see what patterns there are. 

 

Protein and complex carbs while avoiding sugar and caffeine are best.