RichT: coming off Abilify

[RichT]

Thanks Carmie, it was great to read your post.

[RichT]

Hi all,

 

i’ve been back on Abilify for 5 days (2.5mg, 2mg, 0.5mg, 0.5mg, 0.5mg) and I haven’t suffered any immediate adverse reactions. So that’s the first bridge crossed!

 

Still suffering withdrawal symptoms, not quite so badly though. No clonazepam in the last 3 days. It’s tempting to increase the dose of Abilify to counter the withdrawal effects, but i’m going to wait. Patience.....

 

back to the UK next week - not looking forward to it atall. I’ve stocked up on medicine just in case of a no-deal Brexit.

[RichT]

Hi all,

 

I’d like to give you an update on how i’m doing.

 

I’ve  been taking 0.5mg / day of Abilify for 10 days, after taking 2.5 mg 12 days ago and 2mg 11 days ago. This is Abilify in liquid form.

 

I’m feeling quite a lot better. A few days ago, I felt ‘myself’ click in, if that makes any sense, after being kind of absent before. My diarrhoea has stopped and in the past couple of nights my night sweats have reduced. I still feel higher than normal levels of anxiety, but that’s better than it was. I’ve had no suicidal thoughts or full-scale depersonalisation. I still feel high levels of fatigue, and strange kinds of agitation from time to time.

 

I’ve agreed with my psychiatrist to continue the 0.5mg for now. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I hope the improvements continue!

 

thanks to all those who have given me support and advice,  particularly Many more days, Altostrata and Marconyc. 

 

R

[marconyc]

Great to hear @RichT I hope spring is in the air where you are and that you can enjoy some of it this weekend

[RichT]

1 hour ago, marconyc said:

Great to hear @RichT I hope spring is in the air where you are and that you can enjoy some of it this weekend

 

Thanks @marconyc!

 

 

[Rosetta]

Hi Rich, 

Thanks for commenting on my thread.  I'm sorry you have been put on drugs that interact and that has created health problems for you.  Good luck with getting it all sorted out.  You are in good hands here.  

Rosetta

[RichT]

One month in to my reinstatement....

 

Hi all,

 

I’ve been back on Abilify 0.5mg/day for a month now. I’m feeling quite powerful withdrawal symptoms including very tense muscles, hyper vigilance, fatigue, headache, daytime sleepiness, lack of concentration, feelings of grief, general feeling of illness, feelings of stress, irritability.

 

my symptoms are reasonably constant from day to day.

 

On the other hand, i’m not suffering the worst of the symptoms I had before re-instatement - high levels of anxiety, fear, agitation, insomnia, de-realisation, de-personalisation, suicidal ideation. I’m really grateful for that, and on those terms I think the reinstatement has been a success. 

 

I’d be interested in people’s views as to what my next step should be.

 

best wishes,

 

R

[RichT]

Something I have been thinking about... muscle stiffness is a known withdrawal effect of Abilify, but it’s also a side effect of quetiapine, which I increased from 200 to 250mg in March. So it’s not easy to tell which is responsible.

 

R

[marconyc]

@RichT My experience has also been that it takes quite a while to fully feel the effects of a drop in Abilify dosage. I think it's normal for you to be feeling some withdrawal at this point. Give your nervous system time to adapt and don't rush the taper. I stayed at 0.25mg for 2 months and have just reduced to 0.22mg today. 

[RichT]

Thanks Marconyc!

[RichT]

I’m feeling very frustrated! I’m aching and stiff like a 70 year old, feeling intense emotional pain, and fatigued. And there’s nothing I can do about it. How long is this going to last? 

[Dejavu]

Hey, Rich!

 

I'm 9 weeks into holding my dose steady, and I'm just beginning to see gradual improvement. Prior to that, I was messing with my dose which kept me from stabilizing. The glacial pace is frustrating, isn't it?

 

I too have aching muscles as well as slight hand tremor, which are side effects of zoloft that I've always had. My fatigue is really bad when I first wake up, but eases a bit as the day wears on. 

 

And yes, the emotional pain that this experience stirs up is awful. Does it help you to talk about it? Sometimes men aren't as skilled or practiced at talking about their feelings. It can be very cathartic to hash it all out with someone you trust to be understanding and non-judgmental. Do you have such a person? If not, feel free to PM me anytime you like. I'll be happy to listen.

 

2 hours ago, RichT said:

How long is this going to last? 

I don't know, buddy. But I do know how long it won't last. It won't last forever. I'm thinking we will both start to see some positive change over the next few weeks or so. Hang tight!

[Goosie]

Sorry you are having bad symptoms.  It is frustrating how long the symptoms stay but I trust you will stabilize.    Hang in there.   

[marconyc]

Sorry you’re having a tough time @RichT

 

This sucks. It really does. I understand what you’re going through.

 

Is anything going on in your life right now that could be exacerbating withdrawal? 

 

Can you try to recall other waves that you’ve been through? Sometimes it helps me to remember that I’ve been through waves before. 

 

Also, do you have ways of feeling better? Does exercise help? Or talking with a friend? Or meditation? Or crying? All of the above work for me. Now is the time to really work your non-drug coping techniques. It will carry you through the wave. There will be a window. Everything changes in this life. Emotions come and go. Thoughts come and go. Withdrawal too. 

 

I admire your stamina and your honesty. 

 

[Rosetta]

Hi Rich, 

 

So frustrating, I know.  Hot showers help.  Magnesium may help, but be careful not to have too much.  Some people have to mix it  up and sip it all day.  

 

The emotional pain is very difficult.  I'm so sorry you are having that.  Sunshine helps.  Avoiding sugar and caffeine helps.  Journaling may help, too.

 

You are going to get through this.  Try to remember that it will ease up from time to time.  Then, distract yourself until.it does.

 

Hang in there, Rosetta

[RichT]

11 hours ago, Dejavu said:

Hey, Rich!

 

I'm 9 weeks into holding my dose steady, and I'm just beginning to see gradual improvement. Prior to that, I was messing with my dose which kept me from stabilizing. The glacial pace is frustrating, isn't it?

 

I too have aching muscles as well as slight hand tremor, which are side effects of zoloft that I've always had. My fatigue is really bad when I first wake up, but eases a bit as the day wears on. 

 

And yes, the emotional pain that this experience stirs up is awful. Does it help you to talk about it? Sometimes men aren't as skilled or practiced at talking about their feelings. It can be very cathartic to hash it all out with someone you trust to be understanding and non-judgmental. Do you have such a person? If not, feel free to PM me anytime you like. I'll be happy to listen.

 

I don't know, buddy. But I do know how long it won't last. It won't last forever. I'm thinking we will both start to see some positive change over the next few weeks or so. Hang tight!

 

Thank you so much for your kindness Dejavu. 

[RichT]

10 hours ago, Goosie said:

Sorry you are having bad symptoms.  It is frustrating how long the symptoms stay but I trust you will stabilize.    Hang in there.   

 

‘Thank you so much Goosie

[RichT]

9 hours ago, marconyc said:

Sorry you’re having a tough time @RichT

 

This sucks. It really does. I understand what you’re going through.

 

Is anything going on in your life right now that could be exacerbating withdrawal? 

 

Can you try to recall other waves that you’ve been through? Sometimes it helps me to remember that I’ve been through waves before. 

 

Also, do you have ways of feeling better? Does exercise help? Or talking with a friend? Or meditation? Or crying? All of the above work for me. Now is the time to really work your non-drug coping techniques. It will carry you through the wave. There will be a window. Everything changes in this life. Emotions come and go. Thoughts come and go. Withdrawal too. 

 

I admire your stamina and your honesty. 

 

 

Thanks Marconyc,

 

yes, there are things going on! We had some people to stay for a week, which I found stressful, even though they’re very nice people. Then the band I play in had a demanding gig, and then I went to see my stepdad who’s in his early 80s and suffering from unexplained and possibly incurable fainting. It was a shock to see him so frail as he’s always been a strong and physically imposing man. I’m feeling worried about him. So i’m going to take things easier over the next few days.

 

thanks for your kind suggestions and encouragement.  I find exercise very helpful, and I do meditate.

 

R

[RichT]

8 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Hi Rich, 

 

So frustrating, I know.  Hot showers help.  Magnesium may help, but be careful not to have too much.  Some people have to mix it  up and sip it all day.  

 

The emotional pain is very difficult.  I'm so sorry you are having that.  Sunshine helps.  Avoiding sugar and caffeine helps.  Journaling may help, too.

 

You are going to get through this.  Try to remember that it will ease up from time to time.  Then, distract yourself until.it does.

 

Hang in there, Rosetta

 

Thank you Rosetta, I tried journaling this morning and it certainly helped. So i’m Going to try that more often.

 

thanks again for your kind suggestions.

 

R

[marconyc]

3 hours ago, RichT said:

 

Thanks Marconyc,

 

yes, there are things going on! We had some people to stay for a week, which I found stressful, even though they’re very nice people. Then the band I play in had a demanding gig, and then I went to see my stepdad who’s in his early 80s and suffering from unexplained and possibly incurable fainting. It was a shock to see him so frail as he’s always been a strong and physically imposing man. I’m feeling worried about him. So i’m going to take things easier over the next few days.

 

thanks for your kind suggestions and encouragement.  I find exercise very helpful, and I do meditate.

 

R

That's a lot of activity and stressors, @RichT. The one thing withdrawal has caused for me most consistently is stress intolerance. Even minor stressors or fun events can cause my withdrawal to flare up. It has lessened considerably over time, and I hope to see continued improvement. It will happen for you as well if it hasn't already. I think it's awesome that you are living your life and not constricting what you do because of withdrawal. Just make sure that you give yourself time to recuperate. Your nervous system needs that now. 

[Dejavu]

Rich, I'm sorry to hear about your stepdad. I hope they find the cause and he will be okay soon. Excessive worrying about loved ones - even without withdrawal - can really really really wear you down. Keep an eye on that. I speak from experience.

 

I didn't realize you are a musician too! You're a lot farther along on stabilization than I am - I'm not sure I could pull off a gig right now, because of the dizziness and vision issues. I just started going back to rehearsals a couple of months ago. Fortunately for me, we are working in a new bass player right now and he's still learning our original material. I gigged all during my klonopin taper, but I was a lot more stable then. Hopefully, my stability will coincide with my band's resumption of playing out. If not, I guess I'll just have to fake it til I make it. 

 

What do you play? What genre of music? Why was the gig so stressful?

[RichT]

Hi Dejavu,

 

thanks very much! I’m not worrying too much about my stepdad, but I can feel it there in the background.

 

I play keys in a 17-piece big band. We play swing, jazz and funk. What made the gig stressful was the long drive through London to get there plus we had a dep drummer and I couldn’t hear the bass!

 

How about you? What do you play?

 

R

[manymoretodays]

Awesome RichT.  Funk is fun!

 

So what ever happened with you and the Seroquel updose(right before you arrived here) and then possibly going back to where you had been with it?

Weren't you going to go back to 200 mg, at one point?

[RichT]

42 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Awesome RichT.  Funk is fun!

 

So what ever happened with you and the Seroquel updose(right before you arrived here) and then possibly going back to where you had been with it?

Weren't you going to go back to 200 mg, at one point?

 

I was, then I decided not to change so i’ve stuck to 225

 

R

[RichT]

Hi all,

 

my stepdad has been quite ill for a while with fainting and fatigue and went into hospital a few days ago, into the cardiac unit. After monitoring him for a little while, during which he had an extreme dizzy spell, they rushed him into theatre and fitted a pacemaker, after which he has been much better and is now at home. What a relief! Although I didn’t spend a lot of time explicitly worrying about him, underneath at some level I really was very worried, as he’s in his 80s. He still has some other problems for which he sees a specialist on Monday. 

 

So I’m feeling a stress hangover, I think! Whatever the reason, i’m feeling stressed and exhausted, and it’s increased all my withdrawal symptoms so that I feel pretty ill, and frustrated. My muscles ache so much that I feel ancient. My jaw is clenching. I certainly haven’t reached a point of acceptance yet.

 

I can see, though, that I’ve been quite lucky in that I stopped Abilify near enough CT from 5mg and my re-instatement has worked reasonably well. I stopped the Abilify quickly because I was developing tremor, and who knows, maybe stopping quickly was the best option in my case as the tremor has gone - with a slow taper it might have become permanent, who knows.

 

I’ve had a go at composing some music today. I found it exhausting, I must admit, and I feel sad that I can only do a little bit at the moment. I look back at how I was a few months ago when I could work on it for hours and hours at a time. I hope I can get back to that eventually.

 

Love to all,

 

Rich

[Gridley]

12 minutes ago, RichT said:

i’m feeling stressed and exhausted, 

 

Glad your step-dad is doing better.  You've had a shock.  Please be kind to yourself over the next few days.

[BreathofAir]

Hi Rich, 

 

How are you feeling today?  Hope your stepfather is well on the mend. 

 

I was was thinking of starting up piano lessons fairly soon, but not sure how well this will work with my anxiety being so severe.  I was hoping for a focus, a goal and some effective distraction. 

 

I don’t know whether it’s too early days yet.  Do you mind me asking, were you able to apply yourself to music when you felt horrible? 

 

Sorry if it’s a ridiculous question as well.  Hope you are ok. 

 

R xxxxxxx

 

[RichT]

Hi Rachel,

 

my stepfather is fine as far as his heart is concerned. He's much better, thank goodness. They're looking into something else at the moment but I don't believe it's as serious.

 

It's not a silly question. I was able to apply myself to music when I felt very ill. I was even able to learn some new pieces. I think it might work for you as well. It give the brain something to concentrate on, which was very helpful for me.

 

Warmest wishes

 

Rich

[BreathofAir]

Hi Rich, 

 

Just wanted to wish you a good night. Hope you are ok. Sleep well and heal well. 

 

Bless you. 

 

Rachel 

xxxxxx

[RichT]

Thanks Rachel!

[BreathofAir]

Hi Rich, 

 

Hope you’re doing ok and are happy with what you’ve been composing.  I’ve had a couple of good days (for me) so feeling very grateful for those.  Hope you’re cuddled up with your gorgeous furry friend. Mine is poorly today so he’s gone to bed early. 

Wishing you a good night. Hope you sleep well. Sending you lots of positivity, energy and healing waves. 

 

Bless you. 

Night, 

R 

xxxxxxxxxx

🎶🎶🎶🎶

[RichT]

Thanks Rachel,

 

yes, it’s gone quite well. I’m hoping to premiere it at the next rehearsal of the band I play in, on Thursday. Plenty of work to do on it before then. It does tire me out, but I’m sticking with it.

 

I’m glad you’ve had a couple of good days. That’s a really hopeful sign! I hope you have more.

 

our dog is fine and curled up next to the sofa. I hope yours recovers well.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

 

[BreathofAir]

Hi Rich, 

 

Hope you’ve had a productive day. Do you compose for yourself or other instruments too?  

 

I understand your frustration very much, but it will come. At the beginning of last year whilst still on high doses of the Escitalopram and the benzos I started to learn to ring church bells.  I was depressed, antisocial and scared. I’m surprised they let me in the bell tower!  I have no particular technical skill with complex sequences and my ability to take things in was minimal to say the least!  I don’t know if you’ve ever seen church bells being rung, but it’s much more technical and complicated than people appreciate. Slowly over the weeks I surprised myself by persevering and being patient with my sluggish mind.  I was so intent on not giving up.  It had been a long-standing ambition of mine to do this.  An odd time to start I admit, but then again, it turned out to be a really good time too, taking my mind away from the medication and how odd I felt.  My subconscious mind took over many times during the learning process and I was just glad to be making progress even though the pace was slow.  I knew it was helping me greatly out of a really difficult, frightening time.  I am hoping to go back this week, confidence permitting. 

 

I don’t know how you compose.  I’ve always played instruments in my head and sometimes play different basslines along to tunes in my head. I do things by ear because I’m not great at reading music. The piano teacher is going to have to get me to turn over a new leaf! 

 

Be kind to yourself and don’t force yourself like a sausage machine!!! The river will flow when it is replenished and ready 🙂🙂

Work on your left hemisphere with some maths to give the right side of your brain a rest every now and then! 

 

My dog is also feeling much better thank you. 

 

Sleep and heal well. Sending you blessings for peace and calm. 

Night, 

R

xxxxxxxxx

[RichT]

Thanks very much Rachel,

 

I have been very productive! I’ve finished the new piece without getting too stressed.

 

it’s great that you’re thinking of going back to bell ringing. I’m sure that will help you a lot. It’s also a sign that you really are getting better.

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

 

[RichT]

I’ve had a good couple of days, for which I’m very grateful. I’ve been able to work on some music for a few hours a day without getting too stressed.

 

I’ve had symptoms return today, but that’s the way of it I guess. It reminds me how debilitating they are. I realise that my balance has been affected because it has been better in the past couple of days. I hadn’t noticed! 

 

R

[Carmie]

Hi Rich, 

 

Glad to hear you’ve had some good days. Yay! They come and go, don’t they? When they go at least we know we can get some more in the future. 

 

Glad you’re having fun with your music too. I’m off to a concert tonight: Billy Ocean. Good old 1980s music.🎤🎺🎷💃

 

Wishing you lots more good days so you can create more music💚