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Erell: struggling with paroxetine

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Erell

@Rhiannon : you would be amazed by all  the  different colloquials and words you can find in French, depending on the  region ;)

 

@sunnysideup69 : yes it is Nice To Feel "normal " feelings instead of brutal WD émotions ;)

Hugs from a very chilly Brittany !

 

Diary Friday 8 Novembre/ day 45 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7.30am: woke up with the alarm, cortisol Spike lower, felt less agitated 😍

Took 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule. 

Internal tremors. 

9am anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

It Will be the same all morning.

12.30 anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 4.

Afternoon went To the bookstore, managed To spend 15min in a shop To do some food shopping. Then went To the seaside To walk.

Symptoms stayed at 5. Quick Spike of anxiety at 6 on the seaside, mostly because of dizziness. 

Lot of aches in my body all Afternoon, like if I had do a lot of sport. But totally bearable.

7pm anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

8.30pm  bedtime.

9.30pm anxiety : 5 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 4. Aches and back pain, totally bearable. 

 

Lights off at 11pm, fall asleep around 11.30pm. Woke up this morning at 6.30am, anxious but the cortisol Spike still Feel lower 😍

 

 

---》 a wave a bit easier To surf Yesterday, only one Spike at 6. Life is shaking me right now, but i'm kind of proud To not plunge in despair (thank you méditation practice ;) ).

I Feel sadness, but it Feels like a "normal" feeling.

--》 one thing that I consider as a positive one is that I started To think about tappering. I know I won't taper any soon, probably not before a year.  But I was utterly unable To imagine tappering Again. Yesterday it Feels like I was able To project myself Again, and happy To imagine a life without this poison 😉

 

 

Still waiting for a beaaaaaaauuuutifull Window 🤗

 

Have a Nice day all ❤

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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sunnysideup69

Wow, this is great! So glad those cortisol spikes are lessening.

Am with you on the body aches, also had those yesterday.

It is a very good sign that you were able to imagine a point in the future when you will taper again. Do you do any visualisation? Eg where you spend just 5 mins imagining how you will feel in, say, a year, when you are stabilised; how situations will be? I actually haven't done that yet, but am gonna try it on my up days. Can't do it on the down ones.

Xxxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Giulietta

Hello Erell,

 

It looks like you had a 'good' day yesterday and were able to bear some of the unpleasant WD better. :) I am really happy for you. You deserve it after the tumult of the past week. (we need an emoji to show someone up and down doing a happy dance!)  Noting that self-care techniques with management of your WD and difficulties in life (like your grand mother and friend) shows growth and self-awareness. We (or at least I) will borrow this from you. ;)

 

5 hours ago, Erell said:

I started To think about tappering.

5 hours ago, Erell said:

esterday it Feels like I was able To project myself Again, and happy To imagine a life without this pois

 

Envisioning a future without drugs - and having the courage to accept and know that  you will taper another drug in the future is a huge step forward. We will be here together to support each o ther as we get off these drugs. I will be here for you.

 

I hope your grandmother is doing OK.

 

@sunnysideup69 brilliantly suggested that you take 5 minutes to see yourself in a future life - living happily off these drugs. This positive thinking moves us forward bit by bit. 

 

Here's to another good day.

Hugs,

Guilietta 🤗

 

 

 

 


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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sunnysideup69

@Erell @Guilietta, yes, I'm going to take my own advice and try to do the 5 mins thing. Haven't tried it yet. But I bet it would help xxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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MissyE
6 hours ago, Erell said:

@Rhiannon : you would be amazed by all  the  different colloquials and words you can find in French, depending on the  region ;)

 

@sunnysideup69 : yes it is Nice To Feel "normal " feelings instead of brutal WD émotions ;)

Hugs from a very chilly Brittany !

 

Diary Friday 8 Novembre/ day 45 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

7.30am: woke up with the alarm, cortisol Spike lower, felt less agitated 😍

Took 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule. 

Internal tremors. 

9am anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

It Will be the same all morning.

12.30 anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 4.

Afternoon went To the bookstore, managed To spend 15min in a shop To do some food shopping. Then went To the seaside To walk.

Symptoms stayed at 5. Quick Spike of anxiety at 6 on the seaside, mostly because of dizziness. 

Lot of aches in my body all Afternoon, like if I had do a lot of sport. But totally bearable.

7pm anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

8.30pm  bedtime.

9.30pm anxiety : 5 / restlessness: 4 / despair: 4. Aches and back pain, totally bearable. 

 

Lights off at 11pm, fall asleep around 11.30pm. Woke up this morning at 6.30am, anxious but the cortisol Spike still Feel lower 😍

 

 

---》 a wave a bit easier To surf Yesterday, only one Spike at 6. Life is shaking me right now, but i'm kind of proud To not plunge in despair (thank you méditation practice ;) ).

I Feel sadness, but it Feels like a "normal" feeling.

--》 one thing that I consider as a positive one is that I started To think about tappering. I know I won't taper any soon, probably not before a year.  But I was utterly unable To imagine tappering Again. Yesterday it Feels like I was able To project myself Again, and happy To imagine a life without this poison 😉

 

 

Still waiting for a beaaaaaaauuuutifull Window 🤗

 

Have a Nice day all ❤

 

Hi Erell

 

I'm sorry to read about your current situation; it's hard enough going through WD.  I'm glad to you're starting to pick up though and even feeling a bit proud of yourself!  Right there with you wishing for a window.    Trying to accept this wave as temporary.

 

I want to remind you, you are strong, kind and capable.  When l was feeling desperate, your kind words of support were  incredibly helpful, reminding me I'm not alone and that you care.

 

I've been reading but haven't commented sooner because it takes a while for me to find the courage. I overthink too and am battling intrusive thoughts. 

 

Wishing you peace

Love Missy x


MissyE

2008 Dec-Feb 2009 GP diazipam; Dec-Jun 2009 fluoxetine. 2010 Jan citalopram approx 4 weeks, Jan- Aug fluox, Oct-Jun 2011 paroxetine; Aug - Dec venlafaxine 37.5mg - 75mg. 2012 Mar-Jul reinstate ven 150mg; Aug swap to fluox 40mg (preg) - Mar 2013  reinstate ven 150mg. 2015 Nov swap to fluox 40mg (preg) Dec suicidal reinstated ven 300mg

2018 Jan ven "pooped" buspirone added/stopped; pentagablin added; March pent stopped & ven taper - 0 June; August betablockers started/ stopped; September mirtazapine 15mg and diazepam 2mg started/stopped; October ven 300mg reinstated. 

2019 Jan psychiatrist added mirt 15mg (aiming for "California rocket fuel" therapeutic dose).  No more meds: gradual taper mirt Feb-April (taken for < 3 weeks).

Commenced ven taper 5-10% 6-10 weekly 2019 April - Nov: 225mg.  Tapering 8 weekly in alignment with menstrual cycle 2020 Jan 212.5mg; Mar 200mg; Jun 187.5mg

Daily: 4g Omega 3 (3g epa & dha) 400IU vitamin E

2 puffs pulmicort inhaler.

This too shall pass.

 

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Giulietta
3 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I'm going to take my own advice and try to do the 5 mins thing.

 

Good idea. I have a book that I document (when I am following my own advice 😉) worries (at the end), and gratitude and at the front. I will add the envisioning life in the future off cymbalta and more recovered. :)

 

Time to count beads.


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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Sassenach

Hi Erell

 

You  sound so much calmer which is good to see.

I know you want a window but the underlying baseline improvement is actually much better in terms of ongoing recovery.

It means your brain is slowly sorting everything out and does not want to stop for a window.

Usual weekend, got to go.

Have a lovely evening.

 

Sass


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Rhiannon
11 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Hey @Erell, I'm glad you had less WD despair. And of course, totally natural to feel sadness at the events going on in your life at the moment. I think it's really good that you can *feel* ordinary feelings..... so often, the ADs cover those over. 

I had a really good cry last Saturday out of sadness, and it felt SO GOOD to get in touch with some genuine feeling again.

Wishing you a good day today. Big hugs from very chilly London.

xxxxx

 

I was unable to weep for so many years due to the ADs and withdrawal and feeling too unsafe to let myself go. Now whenever I find myself crying in therapy or at home I say "I'm crying, yay!" and I really feel that way.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhiannon
9 minutes ago, Sassenach said:

Hi Erell

 

You  sound so much calmer which is good to see.

I know you want a window but the underlying baseline improvement is actually much better in terms of ongoing recovery.

It means your brain is slowly sorting everything out and does not want to stop for a window.

Usual weekend, got to go.

Have a lovely evening.

 

Sass

 

I agree with this 100%. I know that steady, gradually improving misery is not much fun, but I think it's a more stable milieu for our brain to do its healing work, than the big swings of windows and waves. This is more like gentle rocking waves and waves that are just soft improvements.  I am amazed you are already stabilizing so well since less than two months ago and I think this is very encouraging. Courage cherie, just continue walking through each day and doing the things that are good for you.

 

Also I think you may find that you are ready to begin a slow taper sooner than a full year from now, at the rate you are improving. I can't promise, of course, we shall have to wait and see, but you are really settling down fast.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Erell

@sunnysideup69 : yes I do visualisation ;) not really about living without médication (I know I'll have To taper during years,  so it seems too far To project myself), but more about stabilisation ;)

I  do it mostly before falling asleep, To fall asleep with a smile and, perhaps, make sweet dreams 😉

 

@Guilietta : i'm sorry I didn't  answer your later, i'll try To do this evening 😘

 

@MissyE :please, don't be sorry 😚 we all do exactly what we can ;) in fact, I totally understand  : this week it is difficult for me To read or write on others threads. 

thank you for your sweet words ❤

 

@Sassenach :busyman😉😙 it is great To know that your weekends are busy!

 

As Sass said, I have To be grateful for this underlying improvment. 

My grandma left us this morning. And I really struggle To accept my limitations, not being able To be away from my flat. 

I'm obsessed by the idea of an incredible Window To be able To run To my family and hold my mum's hand.

But I have To accept : WD really is a brutal acceptance lesson. 

I try hard To be better at this !

 

 

Take good care of yourselves, thinking of all  dear survivors ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Erell

@Rhiannon : I missed your post !

Thank you for sharing your thoughts : I have trouble To not thinking there is a problèm because I don't see any Window since 3weeks.

You and Sass believe its better like this  :thank you for telling me, it helps me !!!

Thank you for your great support!  ❤

 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Sassenach

I am sorry to hear about your gran.

Please ensure you do all the right things tonight to help you stay calm and sleep as well as can.

 

Sass🤗


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Markolo1980

Dear @Erell my deepest sorry for you loosing your grandma. Be strong and belive me, window is coming. I had one for almost a week!! Now im back in wave but still know that another Window is coming and im sure this one is going to be even longer...

 

 


2007-2015  10mg Lexapro ( escitalopram )

2015 november stopped cold turkey

2016 june - 2017 avgust 20mg Lexapro

cause it didn’t work for me anymore, psychiatrist  switched me to paxil

2017 avgust-  2019 february  40mg Paxil

2019 february lowered dose to 35 mg Paxil

2019 march lowered dose to 30 mg Paxil

2019 15.june lowered dose to 20mg Paxil

 

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Vegalia

Salut Erell,

 

Toutes mes pensées t'accompagnent.

 

Bisous.❤️

 

Vega


 

2018 : 29 July xanax 0,125x 2 12 Aug 0,25 x 2  28 Aug clotiazépam 5x2 4 Oct Prazepam : 5-5-7,5 to 3,5-3,5-6,5 25 oct 10x3 21 nov 9,5 x3/ Now Taper 2% / 21days = 19 may 2019 7,32x3/ Now 5%/8 days =10 july 5,145 x3 /Now 2% / 21 days = 27 sept 4,75x3/ Now 1%/21 days = nov 4,70 x3 dec 4,65x3 jan 2020 4,60x3 feb 4,50x3 march 4,45x3 april 4,385x3 may 4,32x3 

 

2018 : 29 Aug Venlafaxine 75mg XR 19 sept 37,5mg 4 oct 75mg18 oct bridge sertraline 1 nov Sertraline 50mg slow taper until mi April 2019= 25mg

15 July Escitalopram 5mg 20 Ju 4mg 22 Ju 3,25mg 23 ju 2,5mg  25 ju 2,25mg 8 Aug 2 mg 16 Aug 1,75mg 20 Aug 1,50mg 12 sept 1,25mg 24 sept 1,38mg 28 sept 1,50mg 8 Jan 1, 60mg

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brassmonkey

Erell-- I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  It's even harder when something like this happens when one is in a bad wave. 

 

I know that you are in a very bad way at the moment, but if it is at all possible to get out of the house and be with you mother, even for an hour. I think it will do both of you a lot of good.  Down the road the recriminations that you could feel for not having made the effort cold be staggering.  If you truly can't get there, that's understandable, but I hope you can try.

 

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

Brass


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Cocopuffz17
4 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

 

I was unable to weep for so many years due to the ADs and withdrawal and feeling too unsafe to let myself go. Now whenever I find myself crying in therapy or at home I say "I'm crying, yay!" and I really feel that way.


This is exactly what I went through. Being able to cry is a sign of healing! It is great! 


I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

 

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

 

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
 

2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

 

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Giulietta
3 hours ago, Erell said:

i'm sorry I didn't  answer your later, i'll try To do this evening

 

Whenever I get a message from you I am very happy! I try not to keep you waiting though since you are 6 hours ahead of me. :)

 

3 hours ago, Erell said:

My grandma left us this morning. And I really struggle To accept my limitations, not being able To be away from my flat. 

 

Sweet Erell,  I am sorry you lost your grandma. She is now a star in the sky - a guardian angel - watching over you. Please don't treat yourself poorly if you can't get out of your flat.  That being said, as @brassmonkey said - if you can get out of the flat even for a small window - that may be good for your family and for you. You mentioned you donot have anxiet about driving. Maybe I can help walk you through some anxiety you have about leaving your flat?

 

I hve to run. Thinking of you. Sending love.

 

Giulietta


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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sunnysideup69
14 hours ago, Rhiannon said:

 

I was unable to weep for so many years due to the ADs and withdrawal and feeling too unsafe to let myself go. Now whenever I find myself crying in therapy or at home I say "I'm crying, yay!" and I really feel that way.

 

Totally @Rhiannon, I'm so relieved when I have a cry. I often feel tearful, but they won't come....Last weekend, I was really stressed about work, and a friend sent me a youtube link to some 'tapping' (emotional freedom technique, don't know if you're familiar....) I did the routine and within about 15 minutes after, I was sobbing. It felt really god and releasing.

 

Good morning @Erell, dropping by to say hello and am sending you big waves of love and support across the channel. To lose your grandmother at any time is really tough, let alone in the midst of withdrawal. You're doing amazingly. Sending my love to you and your family xxxxx

PS I love that you do the 'visualising stability.' I'm gonna copy.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Sassenach

Hi Erell

 

How are ou feeling this morning.

 

Sass🤗


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Erell

Hi everybody,

 

I don't find the words To thank you enough for all your kind and supportive words. Just know that I strongly appreciate ❤

 

I know how it can sound silly and hard To understand, but I really struggle with the idea of being 1hour away from my flat.

My mum is a strong woman and she kindly told me To not worry if I Feel like I can't come today, or To the funerals next Tuesday.

Yet I Feel like a failure and cry this morning.

 

Diary Saturday 9 Novembre/ day 46 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

6.30am woke up anxious. Cortisol Spike still lower.

7.30am 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

9am anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

12 anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5. Same all Afternoon.

Lot of body aches, but bearable.

On the Afternoon, I went outside.

7pm anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 4.

8pm bedtime.

10pm anxiety: 4 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 3.

Lights off at 10.30pm. Felt suddenly very agitated mentally and very anxious.

Managed To fall asleep around 11.30 pm or midnight. 

Woke up anxious this morning at 6.30am. Cortisol Spike was higher than previous days. 

 

 

--》 Yesterday, despite the sadness, was a decent day. 

No big Spike, except before falling asleep.


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Sassenach

Hopefully this morning cortisol spike increase is due to the additional stress and will settle again.

35 minutes ago, Erell said:

Yet I Feel like a failure and cry this morning.

You are not a failure and at least you can cry and grieve.

Your gran is looking down and the best gift for her is to see you getting better.

Stay strong.

 

Sass🤗


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Erell
5 hours ago, Sassenach said:

Hopefully this morning cortisol spike increase is due to the additional stress and will settle again.

You are not a failure and at least you can cry and grieve.

Your gran is looking down and the best gift for her is to see you getting better.

Stay strong.

 

Sass🤗

Days and weeks are hard, and I often Feel like a failure or hopeless. 

But : I don't wanna let pharma industry win this battle. No way. 

So i'll continue To meditate, To try everyday to go outside and to fight to not let despair drawn myself. 

 

It is a hard battle, you know that. I Will never thank you enough for your support ! 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Rhiannon
21 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Erell-- I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  It's even harder when something like this happens when one is in a bad wave. 

 

I know that you are in a very bad way at the moment, but if it is at all possible to get out of the house and be with you mother, even for an hour. I think it will do both of you a lot of good.  Down the road the recriminations that you could feel for not having made the effort cold be staggering.  If you truly can't get there, that's understandable, but I hope you can try.

 

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

Brass

 

I agree with this. As an old person who missed so many things due to drugs and withdrawal I am an expert on regret. This is one of those lifetime opportunities that will never come again.

 

Stuart Shipko says of people in withdrawal that we can often actually do more than we think we can, and I have found this to be true. 

 

I think our brains are telling us to be self protective because they know they are injured. That is, overall, the right message. But it's okay to fight back against that message from time to time. I have found that it doesn't make me worse. It's hard to do and I sometimes need recovery time afterwards but sometimes it is worth it.

 

If ever there was going to be a time to push yourself and do more than you really believe you can do, this is that time. I don't think you will be sorry that you did.

 

I am so sorry for your loss, and for your grief in not being able to be there for your mother and family. And of course if you can't get out, I understand, I think everyone here truly understands. Hugs to you cher Erell.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Sassenach

Hey You

 

How have you coped today?

 

Sass


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Erell

Hi !

Today was not easy, symptoms oscillated between 5 and 6. It Feels more chemical induced than due To life events.

I spent a lot of time in my bed,  meditate a bit, and spent 1hour on the seaside To walk.

Usual day in usual WD 🙃

And now i'm cleaning my flat To change the Channel. 

 

Rhiannon : I often read on SA that we can do more that we think, thank you for reminding me. This agoraphobia is really annoying me. I go To the seaside because it is near  To my flat. Since around 2 weeks I add some kilometers every day To prouve To my brain that I can increase the distance, and that I can do more than I think. I force myself To go regularly in shops and To be around people, To remodel my brain.

But be 70kilometers away from my flat terrifies me.

I know I may regret later, but I really Feel like i'm already pushing myself as much as I can for now 😓

 

Thank you for your support. 


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Sassenach

We all have our own way of dealing with these situations.

You are already pushing yourself, my opinion do not overdo it.

Your parents are beginning to understand which is good.

Your anxiety needs to settle again.

38 minutes ago, Erell said:

Feels more chemical induced than due To life events

Probably a bit of both but the trend is still good.

 

Sass


Escitalopram 10mgs from mid 2007 ( can't remember exact date) to 11th Dec 2018

Fentanyl patches ( don't remember dose ) from Nov 2014 to 11 Dec 2018

Quit both cold turkey Dec 2018

Reinstated 3rd March 2019 2.5 mgs.

Updosed  8March to 5mgs and holding

25/11/19 Started taper 4.5mgs and holding

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner

If you are going through Hell, keep going. NCIS series 15, David MaCallum:rolleyes:

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Erell

😚


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Giulietta

Coucou Erell,

 

Thinking of you and sending hugs to you.

 

I felt a wave of relief (no pun intended!) for you when your Mum said she understood that you were not able to move far from your flat - and thus be able to travel to the funeral. This must be a huge weight / pressure lifted from your shoulders. Now if you decide you want to try to go - you can. But there is no pressure on you.

 

I understand @Rhiannon and @brassmonkey about wishing they didn't have to live with regrets. Like Rhiannon I am a bit older than you - and wish I had done things differently. It is now too late for me to have a family (for instance).

 

If you are able - depending on how you are feeling the day of the funeral - you could try to attend. It would help set yourself up for being able to feel safe outside your flat.  Going with others would I think help you feel safe outside your flat. That being said - it seems like your mother does undesrstand that you are not able to leave your flat now and does not want you to be ill, anxious, etc. :)

 

Talk more later. Wanted to see how you are doing today. Make sure that your needs are being met.

 

Maybe do a pro and con list of why to go or not go to the funeral?

 

Hugs,

Giuliietta

 


2014-present  Lamotrigine ER 600 mg (sz)

2000 - present  Clonazepam 1 mg (.25 mg am;.75 mg pm)

2000 - present  Gabapentin 1000 mg (sz)

2014-2019   Lisinopril 2.5 mg

2010-present Lorazepam/Ativan .5 mg prn only  (sz)

 

2005-2018/19   Assorted SSRIs taken intermittently, incl. dulox.

(6/2015-4/2020) Unwitting 20 mg duloxetine CT Dec 2018. Prev. CT from 20 mg  9/2018.

Suplmnts:  omega 3 fatty acid, CoQ10,  Calcium  Citrate with Vit D3/Mages.

I am not a medical professional. My comments are not medical advice.  They  are based on personal experience.

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Erell

Good morning.

 

Diary Sunday  10 Novembre/ day 47 on 10mg Paroxetine 

 

6.30am woke up anxious. Cortisol Spike High.

7.30am: 10mg Paroxetine + 1 fish oil capsule 

8.30am: anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5

Tinnitus. Internal tremors. 

10.30am: anxiety: 5 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5.

Body aches. Feel disconnected. It Will be the same all morning.

3pm went To the seaside for 1 hour.

5pm anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 6 / despair: 6

8pm bedtime. Tinnitus. Anxiety: 6 / restlessness: 5 / despair: 5

10.30pm: anxiety: 5 / despair: 4 / restlessness: 5.

 

Lights off at 11pm. 

Then : hell ! I started To Feel highly anxious and felt a urge To ****** my brain out of my head. It was the most scary feeling I ever Felt! I really thought I was going crazy for good.

And then terror came back. Awfull terror. I tried To calm down, put the lights on. I finnally fall asleep around 1am.

I woke up anxious this morning at 6.30am. 

 

 

I really don't understand  : I didn't do, eat or drink anything different from usual. Usually, the time before falling asleep is a quiet time for me.

I'm so scared : what if I poop out ? What does this mean ?

I know that nobody can answer, and it terrifies me. 

And this morning it Feels like High anxiety came back.

 

😢


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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sunnysideup69
13 minutes ago, Erell said:

I'm so scared : what if I poop out ? What does this mean ?

I know that nobody can answer, and it terrifies me. 

And this morning it Feels like High anxiety came back.

 

😢

 

I'm going to leave the pro answer to the moderators, but an amateur view is that no, you haven't pooped out. You've had BIG emotional stress and some guilt and your nervous system is reacting. I'd be more surprised if it wasn't, to be honest.

Your nervous system, on top of already working hard to level, has taken an emotional hit, and things are not following the normal pattern. Try not to overthink it, it's a temporary abnormality in the pattern.

I've had loads of those abnormalities over this last week since work stress.

Sending a London hug xxxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Erell

Thank Sunny for your morning support!

I try To not drown in the loop, its really hard with this hard change. ❤


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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sunnysideup69
1 minute ago, Erell said:

Thank Sunny for your morning support!

I try To not drown in the loop, its really hard with this hard change. ❤

You're welcome my lovely, it is hard. Hope you have a good day. It's really disconcerting when new symptoms appear, but they will go again. Everything fluctuates and changes xxxxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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rola

 

hi erell

you did not fail it's just your body and your brain that react to the events that happen to you try to evacuate your mind even if it's hard and try to ask someone to bring you back for your grandma's burial, even if it will be difficult that would do you good I think I sent you an MP I do not know if you saw it I'm kissing my beautiful and I'm with you

 

salut erell
tu n as pas échoué 
c 'est juste ton corps et ton cerveau qui réagissent aux événements qui t arrive 
essaye d'évacuer ton esprit meme si c est dure 
et essaye de demander à quelqu'un qui te raméne pour l 'enterrement de ta grand mére meme si cela va étre difficile 
cela te ferais du bien je pense 
je t ai envoyé un Mp je sais pas si tu l as vu 
je t embrasse ma belle et je suis de tout coeur avec toi 


Deroxat (paxil) 20 mg pour 10 ml

12/14 18 mg réduction de 5% tous les mois 13/01/15 14.4mg 15/08 9,6 mg 16.01 reduction3% 8 mg par mois 16/02 7,8 mg 18.02 3 mg

18.03 2,92 à 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg 3% 5 mai 2018 2,74 mg

 18/06 2,66 mg

26/06/18 2,58 mg en 26 jours

19/03 1,78 mg 15 jours

19/04 1, 64 mg 21 jours

19/05 1,58 mg

24/07/19 1,44 mg

14/08/19 1,4 mg

27/09/19 1,48 mg

10/09/19 retour à 1,58 mg  27/12/19 retour à 1,65mg direct transition to fluoxetine the 11/01/2020 1,65mg

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Markolo1980

Don’t be scared @Erell, I experienced same feelings. The do diminish...


2007-2015  10mg Lexapro ( escitalopram )

2015 november stopped cold turkey

2016 june - 2017 avgust 20mg Lexapro

cause it didn’t work for me anymore, psychiatrist  switched me to paxil

2017 avgust-  2019 february  40mg Paxil

2019 february lowered dose to 35 mg Paxil

2019 march lowered dose to 30 mg Paxil

2019 15.june lowered dose to 20mg Paxil

 

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Erell

Markolo, thank you.

I'm so scared  : its  now been almost a month  wave, and I Feel like i'm back To early days with terror.

This is so hard, I thought I had lived the worse.


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Erell

@Sassenach and @Rhiannon :

 

if you stop by here, I would really appreciate your external point of view. 

 

Since almost one month i'm in a wave with 5/6 rate of symptoms. Days after days, it felt like if this wave was very slowly lowering in intensity.  You both told me that I had a lot of good signs, and I agree. 

 

Since Yesterday, I Feel like i'm back To worse days, anxiety has increased and terror came back. Can't even imagine going out of my bed today. 

 

Is it possible that I poop out ?

Was I in a Window without noticing it and now back in a wave ?

Is it just my wave going harder ? What could this mean ?

 

I don't know if you can help me To answer these questions, I'm so scared of going crazy. 

It really doesnt Feel like it is due To life events, it Feels chemical.

I'm scared of my own brain, last night feeling of needing To extract my brain from my head was terrifying. 

Scared of trying To sleep tonight and Feel terror Again. Or becoming crazy for good.

 

I'm sorry To bother you, I'm frightened like a hell with no end. I Feel hopefull.


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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