sunnysideup69: what can I do to stabilise on venlafaxine

[sunnysideup69]

On 12/14/2020 at 7:17 PM, Longroadhome said:

Nice write up Sunny so happy for you !! 
you deserve this you’ve been very patient 

massive well done to you

hope you enjoy your Christmas break X

Thanks @Longroadhome!

I've waited quite a while to settle, for sure. And finally, over the last four months, I'm feeling better. Waves are much milder. Sleep pattern is wobbly but I know this will improve with time.

[sunnysideup69]

Wanted to add some further good news to the healing evidence. (This thread is turning into a book 😂).

 

I'm able to 'relax in bed' in the mornings, lately, and I suddenly realised this is a massive change. Certainly couldn't do this when anxious, before.

Also, walked nine miles at the weekend. Am training for a walking half marathon in February. Am raising money for Epilepsy Action, my sister died from an epileptic seizure back in April and I wanted to do something in her memory.

Walking has been really good for me. I dropped the running back in May, felt too stressful on my system, but walking does me good. I still do a bit of strength training also a couple of times a week.

 

My body and brain like walking, for sure. It's kinder on my joints and lifts my mood.

 

[Nomansland]

Hello Sunny,

 

i want to say sorry for your loss.

 

You seem to be an incredible strong person and iam sure you will settle even more and complete your marathon!

We all have to be strong during this awful process, were getting there...you know.

 

Were getting there...🙂

 

Greetings!

[Erell]

On 12/16/2020 at 6:35 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

Wanted to add some further good news to the healing evidence. (This thread is turning into a book 😂).

Healing books are wonderful to read 😉❤

[Frogie]

@sunnysideup69

 

How wonderful to be able to walk in her honor.

Edited December 17, 2020 by Frogie

[Longroadhome]

Hi Sunny

Glad the training is going well and towards such a good cause.

How lovely to honour your sister in this way.

you're  a great friend on this site to many and you have already accomplished a successful walk.. The walk towards recovery of which you have shown true courage

 

Merry Christmas 🎄 Sunny

And may the new year see you accomplish your goals. I know it will. 👟 🌈

 

[Sonia009]

Hi Sunny,

So pleased to hear you're feeling good. I enjoy reading your posts because I can see the progress you have made and it's very encouraging. Good luck with your training, it's very commendable.👍

 

[sunnysideup69]

@Nomansland@Erell @Frogie @Longroadhome @Sonia001

 

Thanks all so much for your good wishes, means a lot xxx sending healing, positive vibes out to you.

[sunnysideup69]

Stressed out today, feel like crying. London has suddenly been plunged into Tier 4 restrictions, which means Xmas plans may be scuppered ie may not be able to spend it with family. I am getting a Covid test today and am still gonna see if I can get on a train on Wednesday if it comes back negative - my family are my 'support bubble' so technically I should be able to travel out to see them. Let's see what happens.

However, lots of people turned away from railway station yesterday.

Honestly, what a crap ending to a pants year. Sorry, this post is a downer. 

[Longroadhome]

On 12/21/2020 at 9:50 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

Stressed out today, feel like crying. London has suddenly been plunged into Tier 4 restrictions, which means Xmas plans may be scuppered ie may not be able to spend it with family. I am getting a Covid test today and am still gonna see if I can get on a train on Wednesday if it comes back negative - my family are my 'support bubble' so technically I should be able to travel out to see them. Let's see what happens.

However, lots of people turned away from railway station yesterday.

Honestly, what a crap ending to a pants year. Sorry, this post is a downer. 

Chin up Sunny 

let us know how covid test goes and train ticket home 

ive got my fingers crossed 🤞 for you xx

[sunnysideup69]

18 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

Chin up Sunny 

let us know how covid test goes and train ticket home 

ive got my fingers crossed 🤞 for you xx

Thanks hun, decided with parents that I will go for new year instead.

I took the lateral flow test and it was negative, but the woman tells me they are only fifty per cent accurate. So, am taking swab test today, won't get that back in time to go tomorrow, so am postponing until 30th. 

Have gradually started to relax a bit.

Hope you're ok, @Longroadhome xxx

[sunnysideup69]

Well, you can do one, 2020, you really can. Got a toothache yesterday, it was excruciating. Has calmed a bit now. Hoping it's nothing too serious as a root canal would be a real pain in the you-know-what. Took a couple of paracetamol for the pain and this morning felt a bit extra anxious...although I'm coming off sugar at the moment after an appalling diet this holiday, and coming off sugar also makes me feel wobbly.

 

Hopefully dental check on Monday will be okay. 

 

 2021 is going to be an entirely refined-sugar-free year.

 

It's been an odd Christmas break as I've been stuck in London alone, owing to lockdown restrictions. However, I'm travelling back to Wiltshire tomorrow to see my parents. Need some people contact! I'm still doing ok. Any wobbles are still relatively minor, despite the sugar and the stress of lockdown/isolation. I've felt happier, but I'm not sinking, if you get what I mean. Feeling hopeful that by Springtime, we can all start to emerge again.

[Sonia009]

Hi Sunny,

It can't be easy spending Christmas alone so I hope you manage to get away to see your parents tomorrow.

Sorry about toothache, I found Peroxyl mouthwash good when I had mine, I still use it daily to keep it at bay, makes my mouth dry though.

I too have over indulged in sweet things this Christmas and I seem to be paying for it now.

Safe journey tomorrow, sending good wishes for the New Year!

[Humanist56]

Hi Sunny, I read much of your thread and just wanted to wish you happiness. I’m in a dark place right now and have to go back to work in 5 days in the midst of a bad drug interaction and a rapid lexapro taper after only 14 days of use. I can say I’ve had dark times before and they’ve eventually passed.

 

I wanted to mention a YouTube channel which is Micheal Sealy, his guided meditations and hypnosis vids have really help me get to sleep or calm heart palpitations when nothing else would. 
 

I’m just reaching out to try and form some connection to support as I’m completely alone in this with no family connection or spouse. 
 

my ex wife ( we were together over 20 yrs ) has recently been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I could relate to that part of your story as well as the trying to get back to work stuff. I wish in America we had all of the options for time off work and partial work return programs you seem to have there in the uk. 
 

Again, best of luck and hang in there with your self care techniques. 
 

-Humanist 

[sunnysideup69]

Thanks @Sonia001for the good wishes. Happy New Year to you. Finally I got home and am resting in Wiltshire. Thanks for the toothache tips, too. Good wishes your way xx

[mstimc]

Good Morning, Sunny.  And Happy New Year from Portugal!  I think 2021 will be much better and more joyous than 2020--although the bar is set pretty low! 😆

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Humanist56,

Thanks for the good wishes. It's good to reach out, this is a supportive place and boy do we need that in WD.

Sorry you have that pressure to get back to work whilst feeling bad but as you say, the feelings will pass. So sorry to hear about your ex wife's illness, too. Life can be very testing at times.

I'm really hoping 2021 brings better times and continued healing.😊

[sunnysideup69]

Good morning @mstimc, haha, yes, the bar has been set incredibly low! That made me chuckle. 

Wishing you a very Happy New Year 🎉💞

[sunnysideup69]

Ok, seem to be in a wave this last week, quite a lot of heightened anxiety this morning. Am in Wilts, with my parents, which was nice for the first day. I love them dearly, but it's not easy at times.

 

Plus, new year was challenging, as it brought up the grief we've all been through.

 

The next day was really hard, my elderly dad is in a very agitated mood - his nervous system is very dysregulated after being knocked over, and he is quite overbearing at times. His anxiety spills out everywhere and he tries to control it by controlling everything around him. He tries to micro manage everything, which I find infuriating.

 

Had to tell him straight that he was being really ratty and to wind it in a bit. Not easy. Actually, I told him if he really couldn't contain his feelings then he should take an 'emergency valium' and stop taking things out on everyone else 😯😂

 

Problem is, he has always relied on psychiatric drugs in the past and for my mum to manage his feelings.

 

Really seeing clearly how important it is to develop a more resilient nervous system through developing self help skills. Relying on drugs alone just doesn't help, and weakens your nervous system long term.

 

This in turn has impacted upon me, it wasn't ever going to be an easy visit anyway after losing my siblings, first Christmas and New Year post bereavement. Dealing with my own grief at this time. Am getting the train home later today and I have to say, I feel relieved as I'm a bit drained.

 

Clearly, I need to work more on not letting other people's moods impact upon me.....it's tricky in family, cos it gets under your skin.

 

Anyway, I'm gonna pat myself on the back for making the effort to be here. Chalk it up to experience and a reminder that things can really grate on my nerves when I visit close family. Got plenty of material for therapy on Monday.

 

[mstimc]

Hi Sunny

Later in his life, my father really became anxious and short-tempered as well.  His doctor had him on two benzos that barely had any effect.  I think there's a shared component to anxiety; when one person exhibits anxious behavior, it triggers the same in others who are susceptible to it as well.  I often found myself in the same situation you're in; reacting anxiously to my father's anxious behavior.  A couple of times, I tried to make him see the effect he was having on others and me, but just like any other anxious person, he had trouble seeing past his own behavior. 

 

Its not easy to manage our own feelings in these situations, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing; taking a step back and recognizing your father's triggering behavior for what it is.  Dealing with family is always tricky, but you're handling it great--a well-deserved pat on the back!

[Erell]

Hello dear Sunny,

 

I wanted to stop by here to send hugs in this new year.

2020 has definitely been a challenging one for you, and to be honest I'm quite amazed by your resilience : you sure are a strong woman !

 

I know that there may be some harder times,  but I'm glad that you can start this year in a more stable state. Let's see all the healing that 2021 might bring!

 

Hugs ❤

[sunnysideup69]

Dearest @mstimcand @Erell,

Thanks so much for your kind words, they mean a lot. Have been having quite and 'up and down' ride since 21st December. Some of it is stabilisation issues, and some of it is the situation we've plunged into, in the UK.

'Lockdown' is quite tough as I'm at home alone. I'm realising how important it is for me to get out into the world at least for some of the week..I'm feeling a bit lonely.

Over all, though, still doing okay. Even though this is a 'tough patch,' it's relatively mild and hasn't really set me off into a bad wave. I just feel.....wierd, if that makes any sense.

Still functioning though, which is good. 

Sending you both HUGE HUGE hugs and wishing you a very happy New Year 2021, may this year bring continued healing and health for us all ❤️

 

 

[mstimc]

On 1/11/2021 at 12:02 AM, sunnysideup69 said:

'Lockdown' is quite tough as I'm at home alone. I'm realising how important it is for me to get out into the world at least for some of the week..I'm feeling a bit lonely.

Over all, though, still doing okay. Even though this is a 'tough patch,' it's relatively mild and hasn't really set me off into a bad wave. I just feel.....wierd, if that makes any sense.

 

Portugal may be headed into full lockdown again, too.  Not looking forward to that at all. 

Yes, weird is a good word.  That feeling that something just isn't right.  I think its a mild combination of a window and normal anxiety caused by the current situation.  At times like these, only someone with no feelings at all would be unaffected.

[sunnysideup69]

4 hours ago, mstimc said:

 

At times like these, only someone with no feelings at all would be unaffected.

Yes- we just have the added bonus of psychiatric amendment 😂 Aren't we lucky??

[mstimc]

Just now, sunnysideup69 said:

Yes- we just have the added bonus of psychiatric amendment 😂 Aren't we lucky??

😅

[sunnysideup69]

Time for an update.

 

Well, since around 21st December, my mood has been a bit more unstable. However, there have been a few stressors, so it's not entirely surprising.

21st December - Bojo (Boris Johnson, PM)  introduced stronger 'lockdown' measures, really stressed me out as it put Xmas plans up in the air.. I also got really concerned about rising 'plague' numbers here in London. Decided to get Covid test, results hadn't come back by 24th December, so didn't go home for Christmas. That was tough.

 

24th to 29th December, alone in London over festive period. Mood a bit wobbly. Mixture of grief, 'depression', 'anxiety.'

 

30th December, travelled home. Lovely to see parents but it was also tough, as dad is struggling with his own nervous system at the moment- unfortunately, he doesn't have the awareness that he is being agitated and irritable and it tends to spill out onto me and mum. Found this very triggering of my own anxiety. NYE was intense and emotional.

 

2nd January, travelled back to London. Had a good couple of days, felt quite calm and then Bojo announced on 4/5th that we were going into full lockdown, school closed, working from home etc. I've had to learn how to use Zoom to teach, all in the space of a weekend, which stressed me out more than it ordinarily would.

 

Mood has been a bit of a mixed bag ever since. A bit randomly wavey.

Added to this, I'm wondering if my increasing exercise is destabilising me a bit. I'm training for a half marathon walk in February and I had been increasing my long walk at the weekends.....maybe too quickly. This event has now been postponed until the end of March, so I am slowing down the training a bit.

 

Finally, am a bit concerned about my prescription. My pharmacy have been great at giving me the same brand of Venlafaxine every time. However, I went to refill my prescription last week, and he said he can't get that brand at the moment. I'm hoping it comes through within the next three weeks or else I'm going to be using a different brand.....unfortunately, I can't even do a crossover, as I currently take the hard tablets which are extended release.....no way I can taper across to the new brand. Gah! Fingers crossed my old brand will come in, and I can exchange the new ones I have here before this week is up. @Gridley, am I correct in thinking there's no way to cross taper as I'm taking an extended release tablet? The new brand is a capsule with a few giant 'beads' inside (also extended release.)

 

So, it's all been a bit stressful, to be honest. My sleep and skin have reflected this...I'm having a stress breakout on my face and waking too early. I've upped my magnesium from 100mg to 200mg a day, taken in morning and evening, will see if this calms me a bit.

 

However, despite all of this, I'm still standing! And also doing a lot of lying down on the sofa, to be honest 😂 

 

Finally, I'm getting a kitten in March 🥰 My life needs some joy in it! It's been such a slog since 2018, when this whole tapering/withdrawal/destabilisation started. In the same time period, things have been going awry in my family, with my siblings' health being in decline. I've been holding off on getting a cat because my attention has been on being available for my parents.....but that's no way to live my life. My neighbours have been great and have said they'd be willing to cat sit if I needed to go home suddenly for any reason. I am blessed with LOVELY neighbours. So, am really looking forward to having a feline friend once again....

 

Phew! That was a long update. Despite all of the above, I'm alright. Really praying for a calmer year, this year. 

 

Hope you're all doing okay out there, too, and that we all see big leaps forward in healing this year ❤️ 

 

 

 

 

[mstimc]

Hi Sunny

 

Thank you so much for the realistic--and hopeful--post!  It's wonderful you're still exercising and working toward a half-marathon (I have a mental picture of hundreds of walkers all spaced 2 meters apart from one another 😄).  And getting a pet is so very life-affirming. Being responsible for another being takes the focus off our negative thoughts.  I'm not terribly mystical, but I do think we have a special connection with domesticated animals and pets that links us the larger life outside ourselves (if that makes any sense).  It sounds like you're doing great dealing with a situation that has the whole world under tremendous stress.  One day we'll be able to look back on this and see how much stronger it made us.

 

Peace from Portugal!

 

 

[Gridley]

@sunnysideup69

 

13 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

am I correct in thinking there's no way to cross taper as I'm taking an extended release tablet? The new brand is a capsule with a few giant 'beads' inside (also extended release.)

 

The way I read the following excerpt from Tips for Tapering Venlafaxine,

there are a couple of difficulties in cross tapering: (1) once you start cutting the tablets and giant beads, they become immediate release, so there would be that calculation you'd have to make and (2) calculating dosage between the two forms.

 

I do think it could be done though.  Here's the excerpt:

 

 

 

Extended-release venlafaxine capsules: Open and count out mini-tablets

Some generic types of Effexor XR are gelatin capsules containing smaller tablets. Depending on the manufacturer and dosage, there may be 3-12 tablets in a capsule, for example Vanlalupen XL https://imedi.co.uk/vanlalupen-xl-75mg-prolonged-release-capsulesor  http://www.mhra.gov.uk/home/groups/spcpil/documents/spcpil/con1438318470327.pdf (PDF) or Venlablue http://www.mhra.gov.uk/home/groups/par/documents/websiteresources/con062651.pdf(PDF).

 

In the UK, generic Vensir (similar to extended-release or ER) comes in 75mg, 150mg, and 225mg "modified release" capsules. About the 75mg capsules:

  Quote

Prolonged release capsules, hard. The capsules are peach opaque / peach opaque size '1' hard gelatin capsules having thick and thin radial circular band on the body in red ink and thick and thin radial circular band on the cap in red ink. The capsule is filled with 6 white to off-white round biconvex film coated mini tablets of 12.5mg.

 

A gelatin capsule has no time-release effects. To make the drug extended-release, the modified-release ingredients such as povidone and microcrystalline cellulose are integrated into the core of each mini-tablet (not the tablet coatings).

 

(There are many such generic versions from many manufacturers in Europe, Asia, other parts of the world. Check with the manufacturer of your generic extended-release venlafaxine that the capsule is made of gelatin. If it is, the time-release quality is in the mini-tablets.)

 

You can taper by removing these mini-tablets:

• Ascertain how many mini-tablets are in each of your capsules. Open a few and count the mini-tablets.
• Divide the dosage of each capsule by the number of mini-tablets in each capsule. That is the dosage of the mini-tablet.

(For example, every dosage of Venlablue contains some number of 12.5mg mini-tablets; 37.5mg contains 3 12.5mg mini-tablets while 150mg contains 12 12.5mg mini-tablets.)

 

Calculate the amount of your decrease, such as 10%, on your current daily dosage.

 

If necessary, you may split a mini-tablet into smaller doses. For more precise dosing when splitting mini-tablets, see Using a digital scale to measure doses

 

The venlafaxine in a mini-tablet fragment may become immediate-release venlafaxine as it can be absorbed easier. Remember that doses in immediate-release tablet form have much shorter half-lives than those made from extended-release venlafaxine.

 

[sunnysideup69]

Ok, thanks very much @Gridley- I have somehow missed this info previously, it's very helpful.

Hopefully, I won't have to do a brand switch just now and I can continue along as I am a while longer. But it's really good to know that the extended release Venlafaxine can be tapered.

 

It's the Vensir that I've been given for next month....maybe it would be preferable to take this brand rather than the current single big tablet XR that I'm taking....the Vensir seems like it might be easier to taper, as it's already divided up into smaller doses ....hmm.....something to think on. Thank you  

[sunnysideup69]

Also want to drop a note here about exercise.

I had signed up for a walking 'half marathon' in February, which has now been postponed until March 27th.

 

I've been building up my walking distances over the last few weeks. I currently walk 5k twice a week and then do a 'long walk' at the weekends.

Two other days in the week, I do some callisthencs.

It's hard to tell, because Christmas and NY were also a bit stressful, but I think I may have to pull out of walking a half marathon.

 

Over the last month, as my mileage has built up, I seem to have increased symptoms again. Notably, anxiousness and some anhedonia. Bit more twitchy and jerky. Symptoms typically are worse in the morning and lift as the day goes on and the evenings are okay again.

 

I think this is pointing to increased cortisol, maybe from over exercise, but also maybe from added stress this month. I'm disappointed but I think maybe a half marathon is just too much at the moment. What with the added stress on my body plus the emotional stress of the last year, it's too much.

 

Wow, this last two years has really taught me about accepting limitations

[Carmie]

4 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Also want to drop a note here about exercise.

I had signed up for a walking 'half marathon' in February, which has now been postponed until March 27th.

 

I've been building up my walking distances over the last few weeks. I currently walk 5k twice a week and then do a 'long walk' at the weekends.

Two other days in the week, I do some callisthencs.

It's hard to tell, because Christmas and NY were also a bit stressful, but I think I may have to pull out of walking a half marathon.

 

Over the last month, as my mileage has built up, I seem to have increased symptoms again. Notably, anxiousness and some anhedonia. Bit more twitchy and jerky. Symptoms typically are worse in the morning and lift as the day goes on and the evenings are okay again.

 

I think this is pointing to increased cortisol, maybe from over exercise, but also maybe from added stress this month. I'm disappointed but I think maybe a half marathon is just too much at the moment. What with the added stress on my body plus the emotional stress of the last year, it's too much.

 

Wow, this last two years has really taught me about accepting limitations

Hi Sunnysideup, 

 

Good on you for recognising your limitations. Our CNS is certainly destabilised when going through withdrawals, and overdoing things can ramp up symptoms. Even before I went through withdrawals I had to stick to a baseline of doing things as I have CFS. If I overdid did I would be stuck in bed for ages, not being able to move, and other symptoms would ramp up as well. 
 

I hope your symptoms settle a little, sending hugs🤗

[sunnysideup69]

Aaw @Carmie, hugs back atcha! It's so good to know that people understand...I've been feeling a bit crappy about pulling out, but I just can't push myself beyond my means. Yes, CFS must have taught you similar things. You're an absolute trooper for coping with CFS on top of all the WD stuff - UGH! Cannot even imagine.

 

I feel more peace in myself now, having decided. I think subtly, it was putting pressure on me to 'perform' and 'increase', which might be totally against what my body happens to be telling me that day.

 

For any future goals and dreams, I'm going to pick things which don't really have a time limit or any kind of physical exertion attached.

[Sonia009]

Hi Sunny,

Sorry to hear you're visit to your parents didn't work out as hoped. I think the stress of our current situation is having a profound affect on us all making us all a bit edgy. I can understand you pulling back from the walk. I know that there are things I want to do but the realisation is I just cannot do them at the moment. The time will come though when you will be able to do what you feel you want to do, we just have to be a little more patient. I think your idea of getting a kitten is good. They bring so much joy and help us relax apparently, although you may have to put up with furniture scratches at first lol. I have one cat who is old and not active at all, lost one sadly before Christmas. I want another but my husband is not ready yet. We feed about six others in any case, all have their own homes but they like to come to us for the extra meal. As soon as this month is out we can start thinking about spring, lighter mornings and hopefully kinder weather and more healing. Good luck with your online teaching. Best wishes x

[sunnysideup69]

Thanks so much @Sonia001,

Going to pop over to your thread to see how you are doing .....xxx

[sunnysideup69]

Feeling horrible and miserable, this morning. Was feeling better yesterday and had a few pieces of shortbread, very sugary. Am really jittery this morning 🤔 Back on it now, duh! 2021 is refined - sugar-free.

 

Feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning so any hugs appreciated.

 

Definitely feeling like I have set myself back a bit with excessive exercise over November/ December....took a while to catch up with me. Did get some warning signs, looking back at my notes.

Have been falling asleep VERY early in the evenings over those months and waking at 4am, wide awake. Also, after walking 3miles last Friday and another seven miles last Saturday, my face broke out the next day. Pretty sure that's a stress signal. And yet still, part of me doesn't accept/ doesn't want to accept it's that.

 

Oh well, am reigning back now. Have officially pulled out of half marathon. It's just not a great idea for me at the moment, stresses my body too much. Has set me back over the last month, have been very wavy with an increase in symptoms. After walking ten miles last weekend, I spent Sunday just lying on the couch. Was in a good mood but just knackered. Then the next day, heightened anxiety and wavy all week. Also, I realised that having to keep up with a training programme is the opposite to listening to my body and nervous system. Lesson learned.

 

Have to keep letting go of the 'old me.' The 'new me' just can't cope with exertion.

 

Would be really interested to hear anyone else's experiences with exercise and finding the 'sweet spot.'

Am going out for a walk now, in the sleet, with a friend. I think I'm missing human company because of lockdown. I'm Zooming people, but it's just not the same....

[Longroadhome]

Morning Sunny 

when I fist went into WD in 2019 I was able to carry on going to the gym 4 times plus a week. Cardio and weightlifting 🏋️‍♀️ classes . 
Then covid came snd gym was closed on snd off until last October .
Inbetween this time my symptoms ramped up because of trying to taper from two drugs and I found my symptoms intensified during exercise fir the first time  so I had to stop.  
I have always done lots of pace walking for many years every day but struggled with this too. but I kept going each morning doing what I could though no where near my usual standard . I even found walking with my friend and our dogs uncomfortable but still went. 
 

over the last couple of months I’m back walking more and will be returning to the gym when it opens though I will be careful because I injure muscles and bones  very easily since WD started.  
my sweet spot was resigning myself to doing what I could which kept me motivated. As we say here  slow and steady wins the race. So it not only applies to meds but other areas of our life too. 
 

What I would say is don’t feel despondent your body wasn’t quite ready for a big task. Don’t think this will always be so things can change fast in WD world 🌎. 
keep the walking going don’t set yourself goals just go and enjoy and see what happens .

 

it’s not about the “old me” and  the “new me” it’s about the “here and now me” . What we lose for a while in WD we make up for in other areas ; resilience determination the will to succeed 

and these my friend you have in abundance . 
 

so don’t worry about what you think you’ve lost because when you are healed,  with your new skills you’ll be running a marathon xx