RhondaF: my introduction (hope i am doing this right)

[RhondaF]

How are you not "going good" today?

Meaning, Are You feeling different since You cut the Zoloft or just not good in the way You normally feel?

 

i am feeling the same way as i always feel.   mind racing with negative thoughts.  

 

the big trigger for me is health fears.  so every time i read about side effects on this website  i think i am having them. 

 

nothing has changed. still not taking showers.  i was like this when i was at 150 of zoloft.

 

the main reason i want to get off all drugs is if i am depressed and anxious on them why am i on them?

 

i know i am not making sense...that is how my brain feels.

 

[Colonial]

 

The fact that You don't "seem" to feel worse from the dose drops, other than the brain zaps is good!

But the zaps are a sign that Your brain IS dealing with the 16% med drop, so we want to give it plenty of time to make changes before dropping again.

 

I agree that if meds aren't helping, it's good to come off them, but if You rush them "just because" I don't want to be on them...

Then You will do more harm to Yourself than the regular side effects.

 

The good  new is, You don't have to be completely off a drug for the side effects to lessen.

Some people notice the side effect or thing about a drug that bothers them starts to ease up once they have lowered their dose in half, etc.

 

Each person, med, and dose is different, but if Your NOT having a reaction, it's best to taper 1 med at a time slowly.

Good Old Gridley can help get Your dosages correct when the time comes.

I only suggested waiting 6 weeks because Your first drop was 16% instead of 10%, and Your brain might need 2 more weeks to settle.

 

 

[RhondaF]

dont feel you all have to answer my emails.  i am know this is just my anxiety getting the best of me.

 

Colonial thank you for answering my crazy emails.  i am planning on waiting 6 wks to cut back my paxil...i will get with gridley to help me with the dosage.

 

i forgot to mention i have been taking benzo's for years.....not every day but at least a few times a month.  i think i am in constant withdrawals of my ativan.

ativan really makes me feel normal and it helps me get out of the house.....i have never taken it daily..but last week we had company come in and to get me out of the house and socialize i took it almost everyday last week..  it's wed and i have not taken any this week....but this morning i woke up with all this anxiety and i think i am in withdrawals.  i feel the urge to take it but i have not....

 

what do i do with my ativan dependency?  i know it is recommended to only do one pill at a time. but i never took it daily and dont want to take a little bit everyday to help with withdrawals.  and to cut back the ad first......then the abilify and then the benzo's.  i dont have patience.  i want to stop them all! but that is my depression and anxiety talking.

 

hope i am making sense...my mind is mush right now.

 

 

[Colonial]

 

You making perfect sense.

It's hard to know if it's a WD symptom from the Ativan since the Mods would have to know how many You took, how often, for how long...

To decide if You became dependent on them or if it's just anxiety from the recent med drop of 16%

 

1 hour ago, RhondaF said:

but this morning i woke up with all this anxiety and i think i am in withdrawals.  i feel the urge to take it but i have not....

 

See, this could just be the WD from the 25 mg drop just starting to kick in as well.

Since Your medication signature line disappeared I can't tell when You made the drop but I know it was recent.

 

Posted Monday at 03:27 Pm

i still take my ativan. not everyday but the past 4 days i have used it because we had guest."

 

So, that was the 2nd You posted that, if you had taken a Beno every day for 4 days from Feb 27th thru March 1st, I don't know if it's related or not...

It would really depend on how often You were taking before that.

 

Make sure you write that down, what 4 days and what times you took them, and keep a record if You take more...❤️

 

 

[RhondaF]

feel better right now.  got through a stressful situation earlier that usually i take my ativan but didnt.

 

i have never done a signature line...how do i do that ? and what do i write in the signature line?

 

rhonda

[Colonial]

 

Great!

At the top right by your name you'll find the arrow drop down, that allows you to click on your SETTINGS

When you do, over to Your left, under your settings, you'll see an option for SIGNATURE, It will have a pencil next to it.

Click on that, and that is where you put your drug history in chronological order, the best you can remember

up until what you currently on and all of the drug changes you have made.

 

If You look at my signature line, it shows what dosages I was and still am at during my WD.

 

[RhondaF]

Colonial, and anyone else,

 

 i just added my signature line. is it too wordy?  do you understand it?

I ran out of room...do you thhink i should add to it?

[Colonial]

That's very well done, I'm proud of You! 🥰

Well done! ❤️

 

If the mods think it needs more info, they will be able to tell You!

 

[RhondaF]

i need some words of encouragement...i am feeling hopeless like i will never ever get off all these dern medications. and i am a very impatient person.

i get waves of anxiety everyday...and i have twitching in my muscles.  is that withdrawals?

[RhondaF]

so if i never can stop the AD and other drugs, i would think its good to be on lower doses than higher doses right?

 

i am still freaking out over all this...afraid my anxiety will come back and i get suicidal again.  i am not planning  any suicide  but i do think i would be better off not living but haven't planned anything.

 

[Colonial]

To tell You the truth?  I don't see any point in my life either. Being bedridden 14-18 hours a day of it being so sick from all of this.

But You either have to "Make" meaning out of it when life throws You a curve ball, or You fall into despair. And then Your more Your own worst enemy than the WD or the Depression or the Anxiety.

 

But does that mean I'M better off not living?

I guess that would all depend on where I think I'm gonna be after I take my last breath...

 

We all "hold out" because we want to enjoy life again, to some extent, but the fear of the unknown of what comes next keeps just as many of us holding out.

 

Only You can come to terms, for Yourself, of where You would be if You decided to die of Your own accord.

And if that's not a risk You want to take, then You have to push forward and make the best of each day, and You will EVENTUALLY FIND...

That the life You make for Yourself, can be as just as rewarding as the one you THOUGHT You left behind before the meds made You sick...

[RhondaF]

it's coming to the time i can cut back on my AD zoloft....i am on 125 right now.  i have been on that dose for a month now.  how do i reduce it anymore.  I do have a scale but nothing else to measure my drugs.

Quote

 

 

[Colonial]

 

 Regardless how long you have been on that dose, you need to stable and stop actively having symptoms for awhile before You drop the med again.

You were still having anxiety and muscle twitching only a 6 days ago, its too soon, your only going to make yourself worse.

 

The mods can suggest how long you need to wait AFTER your symptoms has stopped before you cut again.

The one month rule is for people properly beginning a taper, they can drop that fast IF they are doing well and not in distress.

Sometimes longer hold periods are required, especially when we make a bigger drop than 10% like Your first one was.

 

Are your symptoms getting any better than they were after the first drop?

 

[RhondaF]

YOU ARE SO CORRECT..even though i am feeling better i need to give it longer time.  i will hold for now.

 

thanks

[Colonial]

Glad their getting a little better! 

I made the mistake of ignoring that advise myself because I didn't realize just HOW MUCH WORSE I could get...

It really wasn't that I was thinking the mods were wrong or I was special, I just had NO IDEA just how bad it could be or how long it would last!

 

 

 

[RhondaF]

for those of us who the AD's did help us a long time ago, how do we now we are feeling withdrawls and not our mental health issues getting worse.

 

i will probably never get off these medicines because i always have depression and anxiety...

 

it's all confusing.

[Gridley]

27 minutes ago, RhondaF said:

how do we now we are feeling withdrawls and not our mental health issues getting worse.

 

These two links may help you.

 

Is it withdrawal or relapse?  Or something else?

 

How do I know it's withdrawal and not relapse?

 

 

[Colonial]

 

You were just asking the other day if You could drop Your dose again.

You have to decide if You really want off the meds or not...

Because if Your just going to go back on them later, and constantly go on and off, You can be worse with the kindling effects.

Which is probably already why Your having such a hard time considering all the times You have gone on and off.

Your brain can only take so many times of You going on and off before you have serious WD.

 

You really need to stop and make a firm commitment or decision about continuing to do this.

Because if you honestly DON'T believe you will ever get off them, You won't have the inner strength to get through this...

Or You will continue to just reinstate and make your situation worse.

 

I realize no one likes side effects or being on something if they don't "think" they need it right then.

But there is alot of wisdom in knowing it might just be better to stay on them for good, if I'm just going to make myself sicker by Yo-Yoing on and off.

 

Please seriously think about why you are trying to go off.

[RhondaF]

an update:  i am still on just 2.5 mg of abilify.  my question to everyone:  my cholesterol numbers came back very high...total cholesterol 264 and triglycerides are 247!  it has never ever been this high.  i read on the side affects from abilify it can cause you lipids to increase.  does anyone have that problem?  i asked my gp if abilify could increase my numbers and she said yes. but still prescribed me Zetia which one of the side affects is 'low mood'.

 

has anyone else's cholesterol and triglycerides went up after starting abilify..?

 

I am going to stop taking the 2.5 mg of abilify starting tonight....i cant cut the pill any smaller than it is now.  I see my gp in three months to do another blood test. but i am not going to get on zetia....i want to see if the abilify was the cause to my high numbers...does this make sense?

 

 

 

[Colonial]

 

I think it's smarter to taper the Abilify correctly than cold Turkey off it...

I think You will find the Cholesterol was the least of Your worries than what Your possibly setting Your system up for in the realm of WD.

 

Please don't be like the man who just died because He took medication for His fish tank to prevent Himself from getting Corona Virus.

Of course You want to get Your cholesterol down, but not at the expense of throwing Your entire system in chaos.

 

This forum is filled with people who panicked over something that in retrospect, TO THEM, was nothing compared to the hell they entered because they Cold Turkey'd

Whether Over gaining a few pounds or this or that, or "maybe" this could happen some day in the future...

 

If You want to taper the Abilify next because Your worried about the Cholesterol, the mods can help with a good way to do that...

But High Cholesterol in and of itself is no reason to panic and do something that we KNOW has such a high fail rate..

 

 

 

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Hi RhondaF,

 

When did you taper your Abilify last?  I noticed that you were on 5 mg of Abilify, back when you did your first post.

And then, it looks like you've done a taper of Zoloft recently too?

Are you taking both clonazepam and ativan at present?

 

If you go to AccountSettings/signature you can update your signature, for clarity.  I'm not sure when or if you did a 50% taper off Abilify.  You could also note when you started Abilify, at what dose, and then when you changed it, and to what dose.

 

Then I saw a mention of Paxil, in your narratives too.  So now, am really confused as to what a day looks like, even with your current medications.  Or what your current medications are.

 

Try a day of daily notes please.  You'll see a sample note in that link.  And do your best to get a 24 hour period in, with the times on the left, then each drug by name, and then dose.  Continue with the times on the left, and please also note any symptoms throughout the day, when they occur, on the right. 

 

Here's our topic on:  Tips for tapering off Abilify(aripiprazole)

2.5 mg is not really such a small dose, as far as aripiprazole goes.  There is more in the link, as well, on how to get smaller doses, without just essentially CT(coldturkeying off).   And it has a really long half life too, meaning that changes made today, may not register for awhile.  And then......WD(withdrawal) may come back and hit you really hard much later

 

When was your cholesterol and triglycerides last checked?  And is this then a recent upswing in their levels.

 

For right now, if I were you, I wouldn't just jump off your Abilify.  Try to give us a bit more information, via updating your signature, getting some more dates in there, and then doing a daily notes, and posting it here, as well.

 

Thanks RhondaF.

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

On 2/13/2020 at 1:08 PM, Gridley said:

We recommend tapering, as I think you already know, by no more than 10% of your current dose every four weeks.  The reasons for this are explained in the following link:

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Just going to quote this one too, for you. 

And in general, how are you doing right now?  Symptoms of WD?  Other symptoms?   Thanks.  Try not to get too impatient with this whole process.

 

Edited April 4, 2020 by manymoretodays

[RhondaF]

Just going to quote this one too, for you. 

And in general, how are you doing right now?  Symptoms of WD?  Other symptoms?   Thanks.  Try not to get too impatient with this whole process.

 

 

 

i cant cut the pill any less than 2.5 mg....i dont see how i can cut it any smaller.  That's why i said i would just stop now and see what happens.  I have not had any WD and my anxiety is not bad right now.

[RhondaF]

If You want to taper the Abilify next because Your worried about the Cholesterol, the mods can help with a good way to do that...

But High Cholesterol in and of itself is no reason to panic and do something that we KNOW has such a high fail rate..

 

Can someone tell me how to cut a 2.5mg abilify in half?  when i try it crushes....i dont have a way to cut this pill any lower than 2.5...

 

i really would cut back slower but I cant cut my pill anymore!!  

 

If someone can tell me how to do this i will..

[Gridley]

21 minutes ago, RhondaF said:

 

Can someone tell me how to cut a 2.5mg abilify in half?  when i try it crushes....i dont have a way to cut this pill any lower than 2.5...

You need to order an AWS Gemini 20 scale from Amazon.  It has a new name--smart weigh digital jewelry scale GEM20.  It is not expensive. 

 

Do not make any changes in your abilify until it arrives.

 

When it arrives, weigh one tablet.  That is what 2.5mg weighs.  Now, crush the tablet between two spoons until you have a a powder. I know you have a difficulty with math, but what you will need is to multiply that weight by .9.  That is what you want to take to decease by 10%.  Once you get the scale, weigh the tablet and let us know how much it weights.  We can calculate your next dose.  

 

It is very important that you do not jump to zero from 2.5mg abilify.  That is essentially a cold turkey and could cause severe problems.

 

So, please order the scale and check in with us when it arrives.

[Colonial]

On 2/15/2020 at 2:27 PM, RhondaF said:

had brain zaps yesterday but not today

 

I know you don't "think" Your having WD symptoms right now, but You did "manifest" a classic symptom right out of the bat when You dropped the Zoloft 16% all at once.

Most doctors wouldn't even think to bat an eye at what they would consider such a "small" percentage drop, but it shows You will be sensitive to an Abilify Cold Turkey.

The scale sounds like a great plan, it sounds difficult first time reading it but mostly everyone gets the hang of it pretty quickly. 🙂

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Hi RhondaF,

How are you doing today?

And okay, I got some of the following from your narratives here:

  

On 2/13/2020 at 11:58 AM, RhondaF said:

the other medicines i am taking is Abilify 5mg and clonazepam .5 mg i take at n

 

this morning i cut my antidepressant down to 125 from 150..thought i would do that for one week.  i am not sure how to taper my 150 mg of zoloft 10%...

 

  

On 2/20/2020 at 5:44 PM, RhondaF said:

Is it best to taper off one drug at a time?  I take .5mg of clonazepam before bedtime.  Have been doing this for at least one year.  was thinking about stopping this or tapering off of this at the same time i do my Zoloft.

 

  

On 2/28/2020 at 5:05 PM, RhondaF said:

NEED TO VENT:

so i just feel like giving up and quitting cold turkey on all my drugs.  i have gained so much weight on zoloft and ablify.  sure i am not trying to take it off ..i cant even leave my house to workout at my gym.....soooooooooooooooo frustrating.

 

3/5/2019 I weighed 162.8 pounds and now i weigh 186.4,,,,ALMOST 24 plus  pounds!

 

i also read in my journal from 3/5/19 and my depression and anxiety was the same......as it is  now....i am no better off being on the drugs....but i am soooooooooo scared to stop them ....afraid my depression and anxiety will come back really bad!!!

 

anyway if anyone has any uplifting messages....send them my weigh...

 

oh i am on 125 zoloft tapered from 150...

 

i am thinking in halfiing my abilify from 5 to 2.5mg to see if i can lose some weight.

 

think i am having a little panic attack right now.

 

  

On 3/1/2020 at 8:02 AM, RhondaF said:

 

What is your daily drug schedule? How long have you been taking Abilify and clonazepam? They have side effects that are a lot like "depression."

 

Right now i am on:

zoloft 125         i have been on this ad for the last 3 years. i have been on many ad since 1990

abilify   5mg           2*3 years

ativan  5mg           2-3 years

clonopezam .5      2-3 years

 

my memory sucks...cant really remember when i started the last 3 but i think its close.

 

i have gained 26 pounds since i switched to zoloft and added abilify

  

On 3/2/2020 at 1:27 PM, RhondaF said:

i still take my ativan. not everyday but the past 4 days i have used it because we had guest.

  

On 3/12/2020 at 12:50 PM, RhondaF said:

it's coming to the time i can cut back on my AD zoloft....i am on 125 right now.  i have been on that dose for a month now.  how do i reduce it anymore.  I do have a scale but nothing else to measure my drugs.

 

RhonaF,  I know it's tough.  But honestly, if you have just cut your Abilify/aripiprazole by 50%, at the end of February or early March.  The absolute best thing that you can do right now is to HOLD steady.  And great that you have a scale.  Is it the Gemini 20?  We can walk you through using that, for further tapers.

 

What we really, really need now is to get a grip on your situation.  Piecing together your narratives has helped me to see what's what now.

 

I'm going to end this post now.  And will go on to another, with further information and questions.

 

Thanks.  mmt

[manymoretodays]

Hi again RhondaF,

And here is a relatively easy assignment for you now.

I took the liberty of plugging in your drugs for you, in the interaction checker at Drugs.com.

Drug Interaction Report- Drugs.com

please take a look at ^

And then copy and paste right here in your introduction

 

No wonder you are having a tough time.

It's also possible to check your drugs, and side effects there......just go to the top box where it says Search and plug in the name of any drug.

It sure sounds like you are having the metabolic syndrome effect from your Abilify, with the weight gain, as well as high cholesterol and triglycerides.  This happens with this type of drug.  Perhaps the Abilify taper should take precedence over the Zoloft taper now.  We usually have members save the benzo taper for last.  As the benzo may actually be helpful to you now.

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

And do try to look at some of the links, when we give them to you.  If it's difficult right now, which I expect it is, look at what you can, and know that there is some good information, right here, in your Introduction.  From page one to present.

 

Still though.  A indiscriminate taper may result in some pretty fierce WD, up the road, or in time here.  So if at all possible, you can slow down your tapering now, that would be great.  Give us a chance to get to know more too.  We are all about harm reduction here.  Meaning that we don't want to see you get into trouble with WD, by going too, too fast now.

 

One more thing for today too.

18 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Try a day of daily notes please.  You'll see a sample note in that link.  And do your best to get a 24 hour period in, with the times on the left, then each drug by name, and then dose.  Continue with the times on the left, and please also note any symptoms throughout the day, when they occur, on the right. 

More about this ^

Please start a daily drug and symptoms journal that includes:

 

• all drugs you take (please include the dose)
• any supplements you are taking (please include the name and dose)
• how you feel before and after you take each drug and each supplement

the number of hours you sleep each night

 

  

On 9/27/2016 at 12:49 PM, Altostrata said:

In the course of discussion in your Introductions forum topic, you may be asked to keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, including when you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms. We ask this because there may be something we can do to reduce the symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every single day over several days is what symptoms you get before and after you take your drugs. If you're not taking any drugs and have withdrawal symptoms, we still need to see your symptom pattern throughout the day:

 

The time of day, dosage, and severity of symptoms are essential information. Include

 

- Time and dosage for all drugs taken throughout the day, psychiatric and non-psychiatric.

- Following each dose, note any symptoms. If you are having a reaction to the drug, it may take hours for a symptom to show up -- that's why we ask you to keep notes all day long.

- If you're not taking any drugs, your symptoms throughout the day.

- Your sleep pattern. Since so many drugs disturb sleep, if you find you're waking in the middle of the night, it could be from a drug you took earlier in the evening. If you're not taking any drugs, there may be ways you can improve your sleep.

And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, looking something like this:
 

Example:

DATE:

 

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

 

RhondaF, just do your best, and keep it simple.

 

The rule of 3KI's: Keep it simple, slow, and stable

 

All for now, I don't want to overwhelm you.  And Best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited April 5, 2020 by manymoretodays

[Altostrata]

On 4/4/2020 at 10:02 AM, RhondaF said:

an update:  i am still on just 2.5 mg of abilify.  my question to everyone:  my cholesterol numbers came back very high...total cholesterol 264 and triglycerides are 247!  it has never ever been this high.  i read on the side affects from abilify it can cause you lipids to increase.  does anyone have that problem?  i asked my gp if abilify could increase my numbers and she said yes. but still prescribed me Zetia which one of the side affects is 'low mood'.

 

has anyone else's cholesterol and triglycerides went up after starting abilify..?

 

I am going to stop taking the 2.5 mg of abilify starting tonight....i cant cut the pill any smaller than it is now.  I see my gp in three months to do another blood test. but i am not going to get on zetia....i want to see if the abilify was the cause to my high numbers...does this make sense?

 

I am surprised that your GP prescribed a 5th drug for you when it seems you are suffering adverse effects from your current cocktail. Abilify is very well know for adverse metabolic effects. Did this GP prescribe all the drugs you're taking? If so, she is not prescribing psychotropics responsibly.

 

Please post your baseline drug schedule with symptom pattern and seriously consider tapering Abilify next.

[RhondaF]

just wanted to update everyone i have been off my abilify for one month.  i cant tell any difference.  i was depressed when i was on it and i am still depressed off of it.

 

just had a virtual visit with my shrink ...i told her i quit abilify and she said she didnt have any problem with it....but she raised my zoloft from 150 to 200 to "see if it will get me through this rough time".....

 

i am not going up on my zoloft.

 

[Altostrata]

How did you go off Abilify?

 

Not increasing Zoloft is your choice. Did your psychiatrist ever ask you how you experience this "depression"? What does "depression" mean to you?

[Colonial]

Posted April 4

an update:  i am still on just 2.5 mg of abilify.

 

25 days ago you posted you were still on the 2.5. What day did you stop it?

Interested in seeing after all the warnings about stopping would be the same as a cold turkey how this will turn out for you.

Hoping You the best but I'm concerned since you did have WD Symptoms when You dropped the Zoloft 16.5% all at once from 150 to 125.

Which is probably this "rough patch" the Doctor is referring to.

 

Wishing you the best. 🙂