BoomSiva: Lexapro

[BoomSiva]

Hi everybody, let me introduce my self im french Canadian (english is my second language)  i been in India for almost a year and decided 4-5 months ago to taper my med(lexapro 20mg) and now i been off for 6 weeks so i dont need to explain how mess up i'am right now. I came to India to a clinic to fix my back and legs, they specialyze in musculoskeletal misaligment. they been encouraging me to stop my med and thats what i did but now i'm very mess up and they dont seem to anderstand what i'm going through. Before i stop completely my pils 6 weeks ago i was working out 2h in the morning and 3 hours at night with a small group but since i stop the med i cant really workout i feel sick and weak i cant barely workout 2-3 times a week very short workout and i feel totaly drain. Since i'm with the clinic my physicals probleme are WAY BETTER so much improvement since i been here but now i feel like i'm falling a part i have so many symptoms from WD i just dont know where to start. i have exreme fatigue even if i sleep much of the afternoon, i have pain everywhere mostly my legs my upper back, neck, headhache, stomach, intestin. I have hypersalivation very annoying ,itchy skin, at night  i feel like i have small bugs craling on me not all the time it come in goes, my memory is gone cant focus, i try to not call people back home that create anxiety. the first few weeks off i had more suicidal thought now way less but its very difficult to control my thoughts and im not to confortable  around people, anyway thats enought complaining for now, i'm glad i found this site now i know must of the symptoms are from WD and im not going insane. 

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, BoomSiva.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.  Please be sure to include the final dose you took of Lexapro before you stopped and the date of that final dose.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

As you've realized, you're experiencing withdrawal from a too-fast taper of Lexapro.  The symptoms you describe are typical withdrawal symptoms.

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

When we take psychiatric medications like Lexapro, the CNS (central nervous system) responds by making changes over the months and years we take the drug(s). When the medication is discontinued, the CNS has to undo all the changes it made. Rebuilding the neurotransmitter production and reactivating the receptor and transporter cells takes time -- during that rebuilding process symptoms occur.  

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

Reinstatement of a very small dose of the original drug is the only known way to help alleviate withdrawal syndrome.  The only other alternative is to try and wait out the symptoms and manage as best you can until your central nervous system returns to homeostasis.  Unfortunately no one can give you an exact timeline as to when you will start feeling better and while some do recover relatively easily, for others it can take many months or longer.  

 

Reinstatement isn't a guarantee of diminished symptoms for everyone but it's the best tactic available.  You're still in the time period where reinstatement predictably works, up to 3 months after last dose.  We usually suggest a much smaller reinstatement dose than your last dose.  These drugs are strong,  your system has become sensitized and If you take too much it may be too much for your brain and can cause you become unstable.  Then, once you've stabilized on the reinstated dosage, which can take several months,  you can begin a 10% per month taper down to zero.  

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Please read:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms. -- at least the first page of the topic

 

Are you interested in trying reinstatement of a very small dose of Lexapro?  If so, I can suggest a dose to reinstate after you've completed your drug signature with the final dose you took 6 weeks ago.  Please do not reinstate without letting us suggest a dosage.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

This is your Introduction topic, where you can complete your drug signature, ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BoomSiva]

Thank you Gridley for the links and infos and welcoming me. As you ask I add my signature, I hope it's good enough? Like I mention i'm struggling with WD and i'm trying to figure out this site there is so much information in here and my memory is giving up on me (its been for a long time) what will be the next move for me; keeping my self off med and tough it up or reinstate a small dose to edge down symptoms? Some days I really considering to reinstate and some days i'm convincing my self to keep my self off. Like i mention in my introduction topic i'm in a clinic in India to fix physical problems (partially paralyze legs and back pain) and we do 2h of extreme stretching class every morning  (a mix of aerobe and martial art stretching) and then at night we do some ligament exercise, muscle exercises some kicking and punching.For 20 years i was in so much pain and now my body slowly coming back to normal but since i stop the pils i can barely finish my stretch class and cant think about working out at night. 

 this morning i was feeling good but since i start writing this some symptoms start showing up; very tired, headache pain everywhere confusion etc...  i guess i will comeback to it later

[Gridley]

On 10/3/2020 at 1:12 AM, BoomSiva said:

i can barely finish my stretch class

It's normal in withdrawal to have less energy and to find strenuous exercise more difficult than before.

 

Your signature is fine, thank you.

 

Take your time reading the information on the site. There's a lot of material, and it can seem overwhelming.

 

If you decide to reinstate, please let me suggest a dose before you do it.

[BoomSiva]

Hi Gridley, its been a while since I gave news, things are a bit better I been off meds for over 3 months and I have more energie so i been back to my 2h stretch class in the morning and will restart my workout at night this week will see how it goes. Over a month a go i start omega3, vitaminsE and magnesium mix with D3 and  it was helping but I start having stomach pain and gut problem; borderline constipated and bloated, i thought maybe it was the omega 3 so I stop and after 2 -3weeks there was no change so I stop the mix of magnesium and d3 for 3 weeks no much changes. I was wondering if you heard of people having problem with their guts and stomach when taking those vitamins? or maybe its delay symptoms from withdrawing? My main problems are concentration, memory and anxiousness.When i talk i keep looking for my words and can have a normal conversation its like a handicap, it make me very upset. I often wake up around 4am anxious it take me a while to go back to sleep then wake up around 6-7am anxious also so  i'm thinking to start back omega3 and magnesium again but dont want to get my stomach worst? Any thought?

[ChessieCat]

To find the discussions on the different vitamins etc, use a search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

There is also this topic:

 

digestive-problems-nausea-diarrhoea-bloating-gerd

 

Also see this list.  Stomach issues are in the right hand column.

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

[ChessieCat]

BoomSiva posted this in another topic:

 

On 8/15/2022 at 10:45 PM, BoomSiva said:

Hello guys, I know this post been over a year but I'm hoping I can get a answer from you. I really like to know if things got better for you?? I been reading you both (MarieR and Nevertolate) and you guys took the words out my mouth I couldn't express it better then this. It's been 2 years since I'm off Cipralex and my life is a mess right now,  i also ride a daily emotional  roller-coaster, cry, fear and anxiety.

 

 

[JanCarol]

Hey Boom - 

You sound like a classic case of "why not taper quickly?"  These drugs are not like aspirin, they don't go away when they are gone - they have made changes for you, and those changes take time to repair.

Plus, prior to going on the Lexapro 20 mg, you tapered in one month!, reinstated, and then updosed.  And that doesn't count your time spent with Seroquel, CT.  Yes, that was 2020, 2 years ago - but you'd still be tapering Lexapro if you followed our protocols.

 

Your fast tapers & multiple changes have destabilised you.  Kindled you.  It may take another year or two to stabilise.  If you had only been on the Lexapro, and did an SA protocol taper, you would be on just under 2 mg now, which is still a significant dose.  (and, with a slow taper, you might not be suffering now.  I don't say this as a scolding, but a warning to others who might try fast tapers, cold switches, or cold turkeys (CT).  Sure, maybe 20% of people can get away with it - but the risks of destabilisation (and how awful it is) should motivate anyone to s-l-o-w! d-o-w-n!  I have never heard anyone say "I wish I'd gone faster."  But I have heard many people say, "I wish I'd gone slower!"

 

All of these changes are still under construction!   Alto describes it in post #1 here:  

 

 

So there are still a lot of changes and adjustments - and more dramatic in your case because of all of the on-again, off-again kindling that the antidepressants have done to you.

 

It's hard, I know it's hard.  But look for the windows - those moments of fresh air, and give thanks when you have them.  Be curious - when you are miserable, be curious about it, see what you can learn from it.  Curiosity will keep you alive when nothing else will.  Shep taught me the value of curiosity.

 

There are many things you can do to soothe your system beside tweaking supplements (which, I've found, never really address emotional or nervous concerns.  Really.).

 

Breathing.  Meditating.  Dancing.  Singing.  Colouring (or other artistic endeavors).  Cooking.  Gardening.  Serving - volunteer work, serving others, makes you appreciate what you do have.  I'm glad you've got your stretch class - do you ever go out for coffee or tea with your classmates?  That might be a challenge to consider.  Because relationships - community - are also vital to your well-being.

 

It's gonna be awhile, so you need to focus on what you can do NOW.  Hedonic rehabilitation.  What does give you pleasure?  Follow that.  These are the glimpses of light, of who you can be, that you can aspire to.  There are TONS of pages on site about non-drug self-care.  I strongly recommend these:

Breathing for Well Being

Change the Channel

http://www.brainline.org/content/2008/07/how-clean-stinking-thinking-and-cope-better.html

Dealing with Emotional Spirals

Brain Chemicals and Walking

Mindfulness and Acceptance

Meditation While Moving

 

These are just the beginning!  I haven't been as active in the past 5 years, so I'm sure there are even more resources than I have quick links to.

 

Once you have survived, you will be grateful that you have been through this.  Withdrawal University makes us better people - more self-sufficient, less victimised, more empowered, and stronger, oh-so-much stronger because we are Survivors!

 

I hope you see the Sun today!

[BoomSiva]

Thanks for the support guys. Just for the record I discover this site after my quick taper if not i would of definitely fallow the rules of 10%. I still did good for the last 2 years considering how many times I try to quiet CT since the last 5 years. Now this is a other level of crisis I don't remember feeling as bad emotionally and mentally...  I been reading what you guys suggest me and more stuff in the last couple days and it give me a good idea why this wave is out of control. So maybe it will be a good idea to write what happen since the last 2 years and help me understand the situation i am now. First of all I did see my GP on Monday for the first time in over 3 years. I told her i cameback form India a month ago after living there 3 years and i was off med for 2 years but since I'm back my mental health went downhill and i explain her i don't want to go back on med and she agreed that I should stay off also. I still try to explain her my symptoms; crying spells, anxiety and suicidal ideation that take more and more place in my mind and getting out of control  and she stop me saying "we just agree not puting me back on meds please stop" . She want to know what else she could do to help me, I ask something for anxiety so she give me some clamazapan 0.25. I used half pils 3 day ago and other half today to come me down  but i really don't want to use this but my stress level is so high since I been back in Canada and i'm losing control of my mind, it's very scary.

Hopefully is not to late to stabilize. I don't see my self starting meds again after 2 years off, I will try to learn more about non drug selfcare. 

[ChessieCat]

Acceptance

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

Best of SA - Favourite advice and insights

[BoomSiva]

Hi, I been through rollercoaster since last time we talk and had a couple descent short window and very bad waves and still feel desperate and hopelessness and extreme anxiety and strong suicidal thought, I keep reading what Jancarol wrote and she said "maybe 20% of people can get away with a quick taper" and i was wondering what happen to the 80% who don't succeed?

I'm thinking to a reinstatement, I know there is no guarantee it will work but I feel like I'm in the 80% who won't succeed. I been reading about reinstatement topic, so the best way to do it will be a to start with a very low dose of 0.5 to 1mg of the same med I was taking( escitalopram) or a substitute like citalopram. due to my sensitize nervous system I'm very scare to adverse reaction. I wonder how long it will take to comedown from adverse reaction?

[BoomSiva]

Hi, I was hoping to get tips to reinstate at a low dose of my meds before I go see my GP anyway I will take a appointement for this week and hopefully i hear from the forum tlll then. My GP is in a private clinic so its expensive and the visit are quite short like 10-15min that don't leave much time to have a good discussion about my situation and what I like to do.

[ChessieCat]

Because you were taking escitalopram, a better option to "reinstate" would be citalopram.

 

You said you have been reading the reinstatement topic.  From Post #1 of About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

On 10/9/2012 at 10:17 AM, Altostrata said:

Reinstating at a low dose reduces the risk of severe adverse reactions, such as kindling.

 

If you are feeling nervous about taking a drug again, you could try a tester dose of even less than 0.5mg citalopram.  You could try 0.1mg if you wanted.  The idea is to see how you react to the drug after being off it for a long time.  And because 0.1mg is such a tiny dose you would hopefully be less anxious about trying it.  Being anxious can cause symptoms which are not caused the drug but can be confused with adverse effects.  You would need to try and be calm and patient.

[ChessieCat]

how-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-tapering-and-withdrawal-what-to-expect

 

Something that I suggest to members before talking to a medical professional is to write down what you want to say and rehearse it.  Be calm, gentle but assertive.  Saying something like I would like to try this or I'd prefer to do it this way.  If they suggest something different (eg adding or changing a drug) you can say something like I would like to think about that before I make a decision.

 

If a doctor wants you to taper faster you can say something like I realise that many people can probably get off their drug quickly but I'd prefer to be cautious and do it slowly because I don't want to risk getting withdrawal symptoms.

 

In Post #1 of this topic there is a link to the DSM-5 - Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome DSM-5 995.29 (T43.205A) and one to the leaflet - Guidance on stopping antidepressants by Royal College which you could take note of the details and give to the doctor.

 

We need to advocate for ourselves.  We are the customer and it is our body and lives which are being affected, not theirs.  Doctors are human and, just like the rest of us, they do not know everything.

[BoomSiva]

Hi, i saw my GP and the meeting went considerably good, she don't really belive in WS and she think i need meds for the rest of my life, since she know me I been a extreme anxious case so she think I need med to be fonctional but at lease she prescribe me what I ask for "citalopram". She really worry about me and want me back on med as soon as possible and she was even suggesting to go the the hospital but at the end she said to go back on med get stable and if I really want we can try to taper 10-15% in December. It was a 10 min apointement so everything was very fast.  Anyway now I need to make a Liquide to taper, is it possible to send me the link to make my own? I can't find it. 

Thank you

[ChessieCat]

Post #1 of this topic explains how to get non standard doses:

 

Tips for tapering off citalopram (Celexa)

[BoomSiva]

The drugstore gave me 10mg citalopram but when I got home I realise they cut all pils in half and the cuts are not all equal. Is it safe to use half pil to make the solution liquide? If yes i'm planing to put half pil in 50ml of water so it will be more easy to use 0.1mg. Is it the right way to do it or I should use less water? 

[ChessieCat]

If it was me I would be returning them to the pharmacy and asking for whole tablets, or getting a prescription for the smallest dose available.  It is important to get your dose as accurate and consistent as possible.

[BoomSiva]

Hi Chessie, I exchange half of the pils for full one and I did dissolve one tablet in 50ml regular tap water, even after waiting one day I still can see very little tinny particle inside, is it how its suppose to be?

[BoomSiva]

its been about a year since I give news and it's been a very difficult third year.

I had a nerve breakdown a year ago, I lost control of my mind and body, I developed akathisia with full tremor walking back in forth with my harms and hands twitching and my neck also, I keep turning my head to the left and shouting no no over and over, (I still do if I get stress, the way it seem to work  the intrusive and impulsive thoughts get worst and that trigger emotions and my body react with my head turning and shouting no, even with people around I can't control it). i was crying out load over and over without stoping (I think its call crying spells) and was extremely suicidal with many attempts I couldn't say how many times I lost count as I was so disconnected in that time I just want to stop this hopelessness suffering.

it's been a year and I'm still thinking about it every day. I'm very sorry if I trigger anybody with this information. 

I try to reinstate but I the end I never done it, in that time I just keep looking at the bottle on the table for weeks but the fear of getting worst stop me.

 

I'm not been the same since the nerve breakdown and I been struggling with my heart and I will like some help figuring this out.

Since then I can't do much exercise. every time I do a little exercise if I push my heart rate a little to much the next day I'm stuck in bed sometime for many days. I been reading a lot on the website about it and it seem I developed exercise intolerance but there is something else happening physically, usually the next day after exercise my heart beat get load and I feel it every where in my body and i feel out of breath and this normally last many days up to a week. so I went to hospital to do some tests and all the test are normal but I know something up with my heart.  I thought maybe I have atrial flutter,  anybody have this kind of symptoms?

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @BoomSiva

 

You went off Seroquel in July 2020, correct? What happened since then? Please update your signature.

 

16 hours ago, BoomSiva said:

I thought maybe I have atrial flutter,  anybody have this kind of symptoms?

 

Please be sure to have this checked by a cardiologist specialist.

[BoomSiva]

Hi Alto, I went off Seroquel on 1/feb 2020 and start a quick taper with Cipralex June/2020 and went off on august 2020.

my signature is a little confusing so I changed of few things so I hope it's more understandable.

 

For my heart situation: last February I manage to comeback to India to the clinic where I volunteer and started feeling not well after  exercising, putting me back in a big wave and bedridden for days in the mean time I realize my heart and my breathing were off with weakness and dizziness. I tough it up for a month and half repeating the same pattern( exercise and feeling not well for a week)  till I decide to go see a doctor to do a ECG and the results were fine so i decide to go to see a cardiologist next town and we did the treadmill test and the results cameback good.

I thought coming back volunteering to the clinic in India and exercising full-time will make me feel better but it just make me realize I can't take much heat and exercise  like I was doing before my nerve breakdown.

its almost been a year and still having the same issue. The last fews days my heart and breathing are off, its not something extreme but enough to get me concern so i went to see the same doctor again and he took my pulse and pressure and  look through the test result from the cardiologist of last time and said everything is good. So now I wonder if I should go see the cardiologist again for more test, maybe try the heart monitor for 24h or it's just a waste of time, stress and money and its all part of the PAWS?

[Altostrata]

It seems this symptom might be from protracted withdrawal. Daily gentle exercise should help your system re-regulate itself.

[BoomSiva]

Hi there,

its been 2 months from my last update and there is been some changes in my symptoms since a month ago. 

The inner Restlessness or fight and flight mode I been dealing since last 3 years who got insanely worse over a year ago did diminish. It didn't happen gradually it kind of happen instantly. One morning I woke up with all the same symptoms with panic, dread, hopelessness despair, depression and racing intrusive thoughts(typical morning) and after being up for a short time I become unusually exhausted and went back to bed and I remember laying down on my back with my heart beating hard but not fast and then something happen inside of me, I experience my heart slowing down and then realize the calmness taking place also with a come mind for the first time in a VERY long time. I didn't move from this same position on my back all day, it feel like I was in trance between awake and asleep, I was just enjoying this new state I was experiencing and didn't want it to stop. This calmness last over a week, it feel like my nervous system just shut down. I was feeling brain dead with not much reaction no feeling or emotion and that was amazing, eventually most of the symptoms start to reappear slowly and gradually over the last month but a little less extreme then before and I Started to experiencing some other symptoms and others strange feeling my thinking also seem a bit different. Anybody experience something similar? Anyway I'm a bit confuse with all this changes and I will try to update again soon.

 

 

[getofflex]

I'm very happy to hear that your nervous system activation has diminished, and that you had that relaxing window!  It's very interesting how our brains heal in these uneven patterns, because they are so complex.  Yes, symptoms do tend to morph and change.  If you read this analogy, it will help you understand what is going on in your brain, and why these symptoms change around like this.  It certainly can be confusing, and even scary.  Remind yourself that this is typical of recovery from psych drugs.  

 

On 12/26/2015 at 1:37 PM, Altostrata said:

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 
And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the building is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/Smileys/standard/smiley.gif
(Now look at the new Tower that stands at Ground Zero!  It's taller, [...], and a symbol of freedom.  JUST like you will be!  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/Smileys/standard/thumbsup.gif)

 

Here is the link that explains why it takes so long to heal.  

 

What is Happening in Your Brain? (Explains why recovery takes so long)

 

 

[BoomSiva]

Hello everyone, I regret not having updated regularly since the start of my journey (almost 3 1/2 years ago) to be able to follow my progress more closely because I feel a bit lost with all the changes recently and Several times I wrote large paragraphs and decided not to send them. i guess a was scared to write something not appropriate. I have always had difficulty expressing my emotions. After all those years I lost all confidence in myself and my cognitive abilities dropped greatly. I think the hardest thing is being honest with myself, and I slowly realize that my brain plays tricks on me and tells me all kinds of stories that keep me far from reality and that prevents me from seeing things clearly. . There is also the fact that my English vocabulary is very limited and as I said I also find it difficult to express myself in my native language (French). I really believe that it's a huge handicap not to be able to express oneself properly in depth, it's like being mentally imprisoned. You might say my writing dont seem that bad but i'm cheating and using some kind of translator, it's the first time I'm using it and I admit that I really like it, it takes away a huge amount of stress from me and it will surely encourage me to write more often.

 

 

[BoomSiva]

its been over 3 months since my symptoms start changing and diminish a lot like my akathisia, suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, despair hopelessness etc. 4 weeks ago things changed even more I thought I harm my self taking valtrex for 4-5 days suddenly I felt very weak and confuse and could barely move, its difficult to get up of the bed as my legs and harm are so much in pain and weak I need so much will power to get up or to do anything and my mind his blank and emotionless I can't think much anymore of the pass or future I don't feel to talk or interact with people much. I'm so tired all the time I can fonction I little in the morning till lunch then after eating I feel very heavy and my mind get even more foggy I have no choice but to go for a nap, after I wake up from the nap its really difficult to get up or even seating my muscle in mind or so weak I can lay or seat there for hours staring at the wall before I do anything. I thought maybe I catch covid as the first week was so bad I couldn't barely move my muscle and I couldn't even think as my mind was blank I felt like i was dying it's like my all system was giving up on me it was very scary I never felt something like that before, I been having a lot of pain mostly in my leg and harm. it's been 4 weeks now and I don't know what's happening to me is it the valtrex, covid or a new chapter of the PAWS with all new symptoms? 

[getofflex]

I'm very sorry to hear that you are doing worse after taking Valtrex.  Perhaps what happened is that the valtrex destabilized your nervous system.  While we are recovering from getting off psych drugs, our nervous systems tend to be very sensitive, and drugs, supplements, and other things can have unpredictable effects on us.  It sounds like you had an adverse reaction to Valtrex.  I don't know if you have COVID - the only way to know is to get tested for it. The best advice I can give you, is to do natural self care, and be very gentle with your nervous system. Tiredness, sadness, confusion, depression, and dizziness are some of the side effects of this drug, but since it's been going on for 4 weeks, my guess is that you are having a wave of symptoms from the drug that is related to PAWS.  In time, this should gradually subside, as long as you avoid alcohol, excess stress, mind altering substances, etc.  Have you seen a doctor about these symptoms?  I would suggest you do that, but if he prescribes any drugs, be careful about using them, and research them first.  If it were me, I would eat a healthy diet, get gentle exercise like walking outside each day for 30 minutes, plenty of water, extra rest, ect.  It sounds like there has been some improvement since the first week.  

Edited February 1 by getofflex

[getofflex]

Here is a link that will help you to deal with your symptoms: 

 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems