Rosetta Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Hi. I looked at your thread a bit more. Just dropping by to offer support. It's really terrible what these drug do to us. It's like chemical warfare that got out of hand. I'm pretty tired. Thanks for writing on my thread. I hope you sleep well. -Rosetta https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
wantrelief Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 Just now, Kristine said: Hey WR, Just popping by to see how you are travelling since your last taper..must be two weeks? Anyway just know you are in my thoughts. Love and hugs K xo Hello Kristine! Always so nice when you pop by! Thank you so much for thinking about me. Your memory is better than mine - I had to look at the calendar and it will be two weeks on Tuesday that I made my drop. I am happy to report that I did not experience any worsening of symptoms from that drop. I've never done a taper before feeling so unstable so was really unsure what to expect. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of how this is all going to go but am still on board to try another small cut next month. I would love to be able to try a larger percentage but may have to stay with the itty bitty cuts for now. I really, really want this taper to be successful unlike all my other attempts. I'll drop by for a visit on your thread. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
wantrelief Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 9 minutes ago, Rosetta said: Hi. I looked at your thread a bit more. Just dropping by to offer support. It's really terrible what these drug do to us. It's like chemical warfare that got out of hand. I'm pretty tired. Thanks for writing on my thread. I hope you sleep well. -Rosetta Aw, thanks so much for coming by and for your offer of support.....I so appreciate that, Rosetta!! My thread is a bit of a sad read. I hope someday it will have a happy ending. I hope you are having a good night and get some good sleep again! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Kristine Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 6 minutes ago, wantrelief said: Your memory is better than mine - I had to look at the calendar and it will be two weeks on Tuesday that I made my drop. My memory is terrible! I had to check back on your thread! 7 minutes ago, wantrelief said: I am happy to report that I did not experience any worsening of symptoms from that drop. I've never done a taper before feeling so unstable so was really unsure what to expect. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of how this is all going to go but am still on board to try another small cut next month. I would love to be able to try a larger percentage but may have to stay with the itty bitty cuts for now. I really, really want this taper to be successful unlike all my other attempts. I'll drop by for a visit on your thread. Oh WR, I'm so happy for you! Just knowing that a tiny drop hasn't sent you into chaotic wd of worsening symptoms must be so empowing for you! Itty bitty cuts sounds very wise. Love K xo Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
RealMe Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Hi WR, Just checking in on you. You seem to be doing the right thing--slooooow and steady. No worsening of symptoms is a good sign, I think. When I think about it logically, if my symptoms do not worsen after a cut of AD, then obviously that amount wasn't helping either. Why then would I want or need to take it (the amount of the cut)? Not sure if I am making sense, but it seems to help me to think of it this way. If the taper brings a worsening of symptoms, I can always re-up. In my case, I know I will have to deal with WD symptoms as well as symptoms I had before taking the ADs in the first place. Hope you are doing well, dear WR! xo RM Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973, Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres. Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29; 9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present. Link to comment
wantrelief Posted February 26, 2018 Author Share Posted February 26, 2018 5 minutes ago, RealMe said: Hi WR, Just checking in on you. You seem to be doing the right thing--slooooow and steady. No worsening of symptoms is a good sign, I think. When I think about it logically, if my symptoms do not worsen after a cut of AD, then obviously that amount wasn't helping either. Why then would I want or need to take it (the amount of the cut)? Not sure if I am making sense, but it seems to help me to think of it this way. If the taper brings a worsening of symptoms, I can always re-up. In my case, I know I will have to deal with WD symptoms as well as symptoms I had before taking the ADs in the first place. Hope you are doing well, dear WR! xo RM Thanks very much for your message, RM. It does make sense what you are saying about the amount not helping. I am very grateful for your support on this journey. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
JS11 Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Hey WR, You said your thread was a sad read, but I think it is a courageous and honest one. I mean, after all that you have gone through, you are still here and tapering too despite your fear. You have great strength my friend. take care, JS 26 years of Anti-depressants (probably 32, lost track, alone and/in combination Vyvanse 30mg Discontinued Feb. 22, 2013 Topamax 25-75mg Feb 23, 2013--Feb 2016 0.0 mg Discontinued Lamotrigine 25-50mg Jan 15, 2016-Adverse Reaction Discontinued Feb 2, 2016 T3 25-50mcg Feb.11, 2016 Discontinued April 23, 2016 Escitalopram 20mg-omg fast taper Nov. 2015-Jan.7, 2016 Crash! Reinstated 20mg Taper Jan 14, 2016 0.0mg Sept 2016 Reinstated Feb.21, 2017 Escitalopram 5mg Dosage Adjustments Escitalopram to 2.5mg June 28-30; Increased to 3.75mg July 1-28, 2017 July 29-Aug 4 10mg, alternated between 5 and 10mg next couple days. Aug 9, 7.25mg; Aug 10-14 10mg; Aug 15-25 7.25mg, August 25-29, 10mg. Levofloxacin (January 2017 2 doses) (Adverse Reaction: Neurotoxcity; 3 daysE.R.$30k+tests) Adderall 25mgXR (start April 23, 2013) (Nov.2016 20mg) (Dec.2016 15mg) (Feb. 5, 2016 10mg) (June 15, 2017) 5mg XR Crossover July 7 to Adderall I.M 5mg Discontinued Reinstated Adderall 5mgXR July 28th Minipress 1mg began July 20-23, 2mg July 24 last dose Discontinued (Prescribed to assist with side-effects of updose of Escitalopram) WellbutrinXR 150 mg July 24, 2017 Discontinued; Hydroxyline 25-200 mg daily, began July 20, Discontnued; (Prescribed for side-effects-sensitized; W/D)Gababentin 100mg August 28, 8/29: 00mg, 8/30/17 100mg discontinued (Prescribed for side-effects of sensitized, W//D)Zolipidem PRN (2.5mg.) Reinstated May 15, 2017 after18m+ discontinuation Between May and Aug18-Aug 30, 2017 Discontinued Aug. 30. 2017 Escitalopram 8.2mg, Sept. 6 Ecitalopram (7.25 tablet) September 28 Escitalopram (7 mg tablet) Omega 3's , October 1 Escitalopram (6.25...I think) November 1, Escitalopram (approx. 5.75mg) December 1 (5mg) Missed .75 for few days, lowered dose. W/D ramped up Dec.23; Escitalopram 4mg tab. .75ml liquid March 5. Adderall XR 5mg, Synthroid 112mcg March 23 Escitalopram 4mg tab .50ml liquid.April 23 Escotalopram 4mgtab .25ml liquid Escitalopram dropping .25 every 30 days; July 23, 2018 Escitalopram 3.50mg, Adderall XR 5mg, Synthroid 112mcg July 2021: Took last dose of Escitalopram .02mg. Do dah! Current: Synthroid/Generic 100mcg decreased November, 2018 (TSH has changed 5 times since August 30, 2018 resulting in both Hyper and hypothyroid symptoms.) November 1, 2018, increased Adderall XR to 10mg to combat brain fog after decrease in Synthroid. Link to comment
Madeleine Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Hi Want Relief: Just wanted to stop by and say "hi" on your thread. I responded to your question on my thread -- i.e. you asked what I found helpful: cognitive behavioural therapy -- controlling thoughts and not thinking the worse scenario -- as well as a faith in God. Those two things together are what have helped me most. 200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021; Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg ------- Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18; May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg Link to comment
bheb Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Hey wantrelief, how'd you feel this week? Glad to hear the most recent drop didn't worsen symptoms (if I read that right). Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 2, 2018 Author Share Posted March 2, 2018 13 minutes ago, bheb said: Hey wantrelief, how'd you feel this week? Glad to hear the most recent drop didn't worsen symptoms (if I read that right). Hi there bheb - Thanks for stopping by! Yes, the good news is that the symptoms did not worsen after my small drop and for that I am very grateful. I am planning another small cut next week. I am having a hard time with the level of anhedonia/apathy and lack of motivation that I experience daily....doing anything takes an enormous amount of effort....I just feel so unlike myself, like a large part of me is missing and I am just existing, not living. I can only hope this will change at some point down the road. How have you been? -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted March 2, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 2, 2018 wantrelief, I deal with anhedonia and apathy too. This post by one of the mods (sorry, don't remember which) was encouraging and helpful to me: "You can't fight against it. This is a drug induced sensation that we have no control over. Trying to fight it or over come it just burns a lot of energy and causes a huge amount of frustration and anxiety because it doesn't help anything. The emotions, feelings of joy, happiness, love and excitement as well as creativity, ambition and a whole lot more are being chemically suppressed and for the time being are just not accessible. Acceptance of the situation is the best path to follow. As you reduce your dose further and your body has a chance to heal your emotions and all will slowly start to come back, but it does take a lot of time. As I mentioned in the post you quoted, at the time I was off all drugs for five months I was still having some trouble with lack of feelings. I am now rapidly approaching 10 months off and still am having the occasional bout with it. But things are so much better than they were when I was still tapering. One thing I did learn was to look for and cherish all the little moments of joy. They actually are popping up all the time, but are very fleeting and easily overlooked. When you look at a flower, instead of thinking "darn, I can't enjoy this flower", watch for the momentary little flash of joy that that flower brings when you first see it, and acknowledge it when it happens. Stop and try to see the beauty in things, even if you don't feel it. "Wow, the sun on those clouds is really pretty, one day soon I will feel it again". Stop and recognize the joy/wonder in the scene, but let your body react in it's own manner. This exercise will help reestablish the neural pathways and little by little dig out and strengthen the feelings. Like the rest of ADWD it is a tortuously long slow process that can be very frustrating, but in the end is so worth all the effort." Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 2, 2018 Author Share Posted March 2, 2018 Thank you for sharing this with me, Gridley....it is helpful! It is also helpful to know I am not alone with these symptoms but I am sorry you are dealing with them too. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Kristine Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 5 hours ago, wantrelief said: Yes, the good news is that the symptoms did not worsen after my small drop and for that I am very grateful. I am planning another small cut next week. I am having a hard time with the level of anhedonia/apathy and lack of motivation that I experience daily....doing anything takes an enormous amount of effort....I just feel so unlike myself, like a large part of me is missing and I am just existing, not living. I can only hope this will change at some point down the road. Hello my friend, I'm so pleased your symptoms haven't worsened since your last drop. However, I'm so sorry the apathy anhedonia continue. I can completely relate to this. I often feel dead inside and that "missing" feeling you describe...I really feel that I'm going to have to rediscover myself once the drugs are gone. I'm not sure I know who I am anymore. I really liked what Gridley said also. You have amazing inner strength and I really have faith that your future will be bright. Much Love. K xo Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 2 minutes ago, Kristine said: Hello my friend, I'm so pleased your symptoms haven't worsened since your last drop. However, I'm so sorry the apathy anhedonia continue. I can completely relate to this. I often feel dead inside and that "missing" feeling you describe...I really feel that I'm going to have to rediscover myself once the drugs are gone. I'm not sure I know who I am anymore. I really liked what Gridley said also. You have amazing inner strength and I really have faith that your future will be bright. Much Love. K xo This is the sweetest message, Kristine, thank you so very much. I am really sorry you are feeling the same in terms of something missing....it does feel like being dead inside, just an awful feeling that only we can get how it feels. It feels like a part of my brain has shut down. I really appreciated your words about me....that is so kind of you to say and so uplifting. I will re-read this message when the doubts creep in (everyday). -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Rosetta Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Aww, Wantrelief. I'm so sorry to hear that. The lack of motivation and anhedonia hit me like a tons of bricks sometimes. Other times they are just there at a low but constant level and only let up for short periods of a day. In 2016, my last year on Zoloft, I starting learning to play violin in the hopes that my daughter would practice hers more. I found that I really enjoyed it. I made it through most of the first Suzuki book, and I was making progress on the last three pieces. I quit ADs in Feb 2017. I used to play after that when I felt anxious. It distracted me. By August of 2017, I didn't want to play anymore. My worst anxiety was Sept through November. I have never been able to pick the violin back up. I just can't bear the thought. I can't imagine it feeling good. There are many, many things that are like this for me -- gardening, for one. I really think my interest in life and activities will slowly come back just as I can now look at the clouds and see them as very beautiful. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
RealMe Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 6 hours ago, wantrelief said: the good news is that the symptoms did not worsen after my small drop and for that I am very grateful. I am planning another small cut next week. I am having a hard time with the level of anhedonia/apathy and lack of motivation that I experience daily....doing anything takes an enormous amount of effort....I just feel so unlike myself, like a large part of me is missing and I am just existing, not living. Hi Wantrelief, Good for you that you are managing your recent taper! I applaud your success! I also want to tell you that I have difficulty with anhedonia. I think back with longing to things I used to enjoy, especially the simple things--even household chores, nothing big. In fact, being happy with simple things is probably even better for me than something exciting is for other people who do not depress. I have been forcing myself to do things that I might do if I weren't depressed, and it does distract me somewhat or at least makes the day go by. But then I find myself exhausted afterward. Well, we will just plug away together on this healing journey. xo RM Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973, Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres. Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29; 9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present. Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 11 minutes ago, RealMe said: Hi Wantrelief, Good for you that you are managing your recent taper! I applaud your success! I also want to tell you that I have difficulty with anhedonia. I think back with longing to things I used to enjoy, especially the simple things--even household chores, nothing big. In fact, being happy with simple things is probably even better for me than something exciting is for other people who do not depress. I have been forcing myself to do things that I might do if I weren't depressed, and it does distract me somewhat or at least makes the day go by. But then I find myself exhausted afterward. Well, we will just plug away together on this healing journey. xo RM It’s quite a problem. wonder why. Is it the lazy neurotransmitters? Or the ones that aren’t there? People rebuild their brains after a stroke or a tbi. Maybe there are methods out there to do this? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 1 hour ago, RealMe said: Hi Wantrelief, Good for you that you are managing your recent taper! I applaud your success! I also want to tell you that I have difficulty with anhedonia. I think back with longing to things I used to enjoy, especially the simple things--even household chores, nothing big. In fact, being happy with simple things is probably even better for me than something exciting is for other people who do not depress. I have been forcing myself to do things that I might do if I weren't depressed, and it does distract me somewhat or at least makes the day go by. But then I find myself exhausted afterward. Well, we will just plug away together on this healing journey. xo RM Thanks for your message, RM. I am sorry you are dealing with anhedonia as well. I too am forcing myself to do some things I would do if I wasn't feeling this way and it does help. I like what you said about plugging away together on this healing journey....so grateful to have you along! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
bheb Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 On 3/2/2018 at 3:30 PM, wantrelief said: I just feel so unlike myself, like a large part of me is missing and I am just existing, not living. I can only hope this will change at some point down the road. How have you been? I understand this. I thought I would be rejoicing for all my improvement with akathisia, but many days I stay curled up in bed unable to muster any kind of positive energy. I am sure it will clear up though it seems to take forever. About me, as I've hinted, akathisia is much improved. Feels like a miracle some days. But I still have my setbacks and when they happen they feel like the end of the world -- I think it's kind of like I've let my guard down and gotten my expectations up too high sometimes? I've also been less careful. I started drinking coffee to battle the anhedonia/fatigue and I think it's been slowly increasing my agitation. And allowing myself into stressful situations has triggered some terror/fear. I just have to remember that even though I'm better, I'm not invincible. Gridley is right about cherishing small moments. I've already noticed some improvements with the anhedonia, which I think is due in part to "accepting" the feeling as they say. Acknowledging that it's totally normal to feel this drained after this messed up battle we've been thrown into. That way you avoid the meta-dread, dread of your sad condition which only multiplies the feeling. Has anything besides anhedonia been bothering you lately? Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 8 minutes ago, bheb said: I understand this. I thought I would be rejoicing for all my improvement with akathisia, but many days I stay curled up in bed unable to muster any kind of positive energy. I am sure it will clear up though it seems to take forever. About me, as I've hinted, akathisia is much improved. Feels like a miracle some days. But I still have my setbacks and when they happen they feel like the end of the world -- I think it's kind of like I've let my guard down and gotten my expectations up too high sometimes? I've also been less careful. I started drinking coffee to battle the anhedonia/fatigue and I think it's been slowly increasing my agitation. And allowing myself into stressful situations has triggered some terror/fear. I just have to remember that even though I'm better, I'm not invincible. Gridley is right about cherishing small moments. I've already noticed some improvements with the anhedonia, which I think is due in part to "accepting" the feeling as they say. Acknowledging that it's totally normal to feel this drained after this messed up battle we've been thrown into. That way you avoid the meta-dread, dread of your sad condition which only multiplies the feeling. Has anything besides anhedonia been bothering you lately? That is wonderful news about the akathisia improving, bheb!! I am so happy for you! I am sorry, however, you are dealing with anhedonia and fatigue. It makes sense, as you wrote, that your body is reacting this way after being so drained from all its been through. It sounds like you are doing well in acknowledging and accepting how you are feeling. This is a positive update and I am really happy for you, bheb. Please keep me posted how are doing. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
bheb Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Yes yes it's very good news. I know I'll be hearing some from you soon too...hang on! Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
Flowers Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Hi Want Relief Just wanted to say how pleased I am that your first drop is going well. I know you were in a dilema whether to taper or not while being unstable. I think you have shown great courage to start tapering and I wish you all the very best for a good outcome. Well done! Love from Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 8 minutes ago, Flowers said: Hi Want Relief Just wanted to say how pleased I am that your first drop is going well. I know you were in a dilema whether to taper or not while being unstable. I think you have shown great courage to start tapering and I wish you all the very best for a good outcome. Well done! Love from Flowers xxx Thank you so much for your lovely supportive message, Flowers....I really appreciate your stopping by and for your well wishes! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Kristine Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Hey WR, thank you for dropping by my thread. How are you travelling? Please don't feel pressured to answer if you aren't up to it. Love K xo Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 Hi Kristine - Thanks for stopping by! Nothing new to report, unfortunately. While it is positive not to notice any worsening symptoms after a drop, it is also difficult for me to deal with the symptoms I have on a day-to-day basis. I can only hope that as I drop down in dose, at some point this depression will lift and I'll gain back some of myself. I am still terrified of how this is all going to go. I am gearing up to do another small drop next week. In the meantime, I am trying to take it day by day and accept this situation as much as I can. I am so very grateful to have such amazing support, such as yourself, on this journey. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Kristine Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 59 minutes ago, wantrelief said: Hi Kristine - Thanks for stopping by! Nothing new to report, unfortunately. While it is positive not to notice any worsening symptoms after a drop, it is also difficult for me to deal with the symptoms I have on a day-to-day basis. I can only hope that as I drop down in dose, at some point this depression will lift and I'll gain back some of myself. I am still terrified of how this is all going to go. I am gearing up to do another small drop next week. In the meantime, I am trying to take it day by day and accept this situation as much as I can. I am so very grateful to have such amazing support, such as yourself, on this journey. You are doing so well! It can be disheartening to not notice many changes and be stuck in the day to day grind of dealing with these horrible symptoms. I'm so sorry you are dealing with depression...it's exhausting and soul destroying. Like wading through mud with a giant lead weight on ones head. However, as you said the best and sometimes the only way to deal with this, is acceptance...."this is the way it is now"..."and that's okay"...it saves sooo much energy and I feel diminishes its power. I remember when I was a kid, I'd get scared that there was a monster under my bed or in the closet. Sometimes I'd lie in bed for hours with the covers pulled over my head, fear would take over. If I got up right away, turned on the light and saw there were no monsters, the fear would subside before it took hold. Not that imaginary monsters should be compared with withdrawal! Withdrawal is not imaginary! However, I find if I fear "what is to come" it is futile because it sucks up the little energy I have, which I need to reserve for what "might" be around the next corner. Biggest of ((((hugs))) K xo Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week) Parnate 20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017 Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017 Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016 Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016 Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased) Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week) Nortriptyline (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased) Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks) Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks) Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week) Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread) 28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg, 10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg, 8th April 1.48mg, 15th April 1.47mg, 22nd April 1.46mg, 29th April 1.45mg Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets) Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) "Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome" Unknown Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 45 minutes ago, Kristine said: You are doing so well! It can be disheartening to not notice many changes and be stuck in the day to day grind of dealing with these horrible symptoms. I'm so sorry you are dealing with depression...it's exhausting and soul destroying. Like wading through mud with a giant lead weight on ones head. However, as you said the best and sometimes the only way to deal with this, is acceptance...."this is the way it is now"..."and that's okay"...it saves sooo much energy and I feel diminishes its power. I remember when I was a kid, I'd get scared that there was a monster under my bed or in the closet. Sometimes I'd lie in bed for hours with the covers pulled over my head, fear would take over. If I got up right away, turned on the light and saw there were no monsters, the fear would subside before it took hold. Not that imaginary monsters should be compared with withdrawal! Withdrawal is not imaginary! However, I find if I fear "what is to come" it is futile because it sucks up the little energy I have, which I need to reserve for what "might" be around the next corner. Biggest of ((((hugs))) K xo Thank you so much for this, Kristine. You describe so well how I am feeling and the effects of dealing with this deep depression everyday. I like your analogy - that is a great way to think about fear and how to try not to think ahead too much about what is to come. You are so very wise!! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Rosetta Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Thinking of you, Wantrelief. So sorry you are struggling. -- Rosetta. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 1 minute ago, Rosetta said: Thinking of you, Wantrelief. So sorry you are struggling. -- Rosetta. Thanks so much for your message, Rosetta. I really appreciate your message and for thinking about me, very sweet. I am thinking about you and hope you are doing ok in this world of withdrawal. It feels like we all live on some alternate planet or something but at least we are together! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I read through your thread. I can relate to all your symptoms. I’m experiencing the exact same things. You had pointed that one out. It’s not fun. I hope you feel some relief soon. It seems like you have had periods where you felt better. You certainly have a tremendous amount of patience. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Rosetta Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Alternate universe, indeed. Thanks for your post on my thread. You are in my thoughts. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
DMV64 Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 On 3/8/2018 at 8:37 PM, wantrelief said: I am still terrified of how this is all going to go. Hello there! I feel this way ALOT! Like I am scared to go to bed and face the morning. That Claire Weekes book has helped alot-floating through symptoms. For me alternating anxiety and depression. But there are windows. I try to note these so I can look back when I am feeling bad. Lots of love to you! 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
Rosetta Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hi. Checking in on you. How is it going? https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
wantrelief Posted March 11, 2018 Author Share Posted March 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Rosetta said: Hi. Checking in on you. How is it going? Hi Rosetta - Thanks for checking in on me, that is very sweet of you. I am ok, no changes in my symptoms so I am going to do another small drop this week. The last couple of days have been beautiful here - it has been nice to feel warmer, see the sun, beautiful blue sky and flowers blooming. At the same time it makes me that much more aware of how I feel as everyone is out and about a lot more this time of year through the summer I know, however, it is not helpful at all to compare myself to others. I think I read on your thread that you were dreading daylight savings....me too. For some reason it takes me awhile to adjust to the time change even when I am feeling well. Let me know how you are doing when you get a chance. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted March 12, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 12, 2018 1 hour ago, wantrelief said: dreading daylight savings....me too. For some reason it takes me awhile to adjust to the time change even when I am feeling well. It's always taken me a couple of weeks to adjust whenever the clocks are changed. I would have a difficult time travelling and changing time zones! * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Rosetta Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 3 hours ago, wantrelief said: I think I read on your thread that you were dreading daylight savings....me too. For some reason it takes me awhile to adjust to the time change even when I am feeling well. Let me know how you are doing when you get a chance. Yes, my daughter is trying to get over a cold. She missed two mornings last week - her reading classes. I cannot BELIEVE I have to drag her out of bed an hour earlier tomorrow. Fingers crossed that I will feel ok when I wake up. I'm hanging in there, Wantrelief. It's been a crazy week with two bad nights and my moods changing quickly within hours. I'm trying to "accept" and I'm very, very bad at it, lol. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
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