Jadenatalie: Hello! 7 weeks into withdrawal and I'm in hell.

[Cheeky]

Hi @Jadenatalie,

Congrats for being free from these poisons.
   I’ve been reading in your thread as @Greatful was telling me you have a similar problem as I do with issues with the bladder and genitalia, I have the exact same problem. It started with me needing to go to the toilet all the time and I would get slight burning and pain down there . For about a week I felt my clitoris be so sensitive and then it would go with other symptoms. Mine can come and go in a wave pattern . I have gone to see a doctor and they did a test for UTI or bacteria and everything came back normal. I’m getting a pelvis utrasound next week but I know there not going to find anything . I have an appointment in a month to see a Gyno but I know in my heart it’s withdrawal related. I’m going to do all the test to rule out everything and see how it goes. Your explanation of your symptoms sound so much like mine and I know how bothersome it can be. I want to exercise but I don’t want to aggravate it. This withdrawal process can be so distressing and so cruel. 

[Jadenatalie]

@Cheeky

47 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Hi @Jadenatalie,

Congrats for being free from these poisons.
   I’ve been reading in your thread as @Greatful was telling me you have a similar problem as I do with issues with the bladder and genitalia, I have the exact same problem. It started with me needing to go to the toilet all the time and I would get slight burning and pain down there . For about a week I felt my clitoris be so sensitive and then it would go with other symptoms. Mine can come and go in a wave pattern . I have gone to see a doctor and they did a test for UTI or bacteria and everything came back normal. I’m getting a pelvis utrasound next week but I know there not going to find anything . I have an appointment in a month to see a Gyno but I know in my heart it’s withdrawal related. I’m going to do all the test to rule out everything and see how it goes. Your explanation of your symptoms sound so much like mine and I know how bothersome it can be. I want to exercise but I don’t want to aggravate it. This withdrawal process can be so distressing and so cruel. 

Thank you, i'm glad i'm free but its been horrific to be honest. Yes, thats exactly what mine is like. I've been to a uro-gynaecologist who is the best in my city and she cant really find anything wrong, about from some raging redness and bleeding in the genitals due to excessive antibiotic use for the suspected UTI, the bleeding and redness seems to be settling with very strong probiotics but i'm still not right down there. I'm urinating alot, it feels desperate, feels like not much comes when i do go, i have soreness in my urethra after ive urinated, rather than whilst urinating. It feels like a urine infection with an inflamed urethra, but my urine is clear to look at, not cloudy, normal colour etc. I do dip my urine every day or so to make sure i've not got an infection coming and they're always normal too. Its horrible, uncomfortable and embarrassing when im constantly going to the loo. I think anxiety makes me urinate more also. I am admittedly scared of getting another urine infection because of the antibiotics but i've got some d-mannose now which i've read is just as good for infections so id take that instead. 

 

I do hope mine is withdrawal related and nothing else because i've been scared by mentioning of IC and vulvodynia. which are long term conditions and treatment is antidepressants! grrr. 

 

Let me know how your scan goes next week, im sure it will be normal like you said. I had an ultrasound a month or so ago and it was normal, bladder was emptying normally etc. You are right about that, withdrawal has completely ruined me. I dont even know who i am anymore, i just hope i can get back to feeling somewhat normal again one day.... x

[Cheeky]

22 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

@Cheeky

Thank you, i'm glad i'm free but its been horrific to be honest. Yes, thats exactly what mine is like. I've been to a uro-gynaecologist who is the best in my city and she cant really find anything wrong, about from some raging redness and bleeding in the genitals due to excessive antibiotic use for the suspected UTI, the bleeding and redness seems to be settling with very strong probiotics but i'm still not right down there. I'm urinating alot, it feels desperate, feels like not much comes when i do go, i have soreness in my urethra after ive urinated, rather than whilst urinating. It feels like a urine infection with an inflamed urethra, but my urine is clear to look at, not cloudy, normal colour etc. I do dip my urine every day or so to make sure i've not got an infection coming and they're always normal too. Its horrible, uncomfortable and embarrassing when im constantly going to the loo. I think anxiety makes me urinate more also. I am admittedly scared of getting another urine infection because of the antibiotics but i've got some d-mannose now which i've read is just as good for infections so id take that instead. 

 

I do hope mine is withdrawal related and nothing else because i've been scared by mentioning of IC and vulvodynia. which are long term conditions and treatment is antidepressants! grrr. 

 

Let me know how your scan goes next week, im sure it will be normal like you said. I had an ultrasound a month or so ago and it was normal, bladder was emptying normally etc. You are right about that, withdrawal has completely ruined me. I dont even know who i am anymore, i just hope i can get back to feeling somewhat normal again one day.... x

@Jadenatalie I feel your pain . I just feel so uncomfortable and the urgency to pee all the time drives me crazy. I get it more when I’m in a wave then it seems to settle when

Im having a window . I will keep you posted on my results and remember you have come this far and you will eventually make it out of this awful state. This will one day just be a bad memory. I hope we both find answers.

Hang in there 🦋

[Jadenatalie]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-59383722 

 

Just seen this on BBC news today. I'm hoping they will take antidepressants more seriously in the UK, as it's a serious issue at the moment! But it's a step in the right direction hopefully! 

[Cheeky]

Hi Jade,

I thought I’d let you know all my blood work  came back clear , I thought that would be the case and there going to do a pelvis ultrasound next week. I’m happy as there is nothing sinister going on but I was hoping there was something so I could resolve it. How have you ?

[Jadenatalie]

1 hour ago, Cheeky said:

Hi Jade,

I thought I’d let you know all my blood work  came back clear , I thought that would be the case and there going to do a pelvis ultrasound next week. I’m happy as there is nothing sinister going on but I was hoping there was something so I could resolve it. How have you ?

Hey @Cheeky  Well, I guess that's good news your bloods are normal?! Basically, I went to my new GP on Tuesday and she did a internal examination and said I'm coated with thrush inside!  Which she said is most likely causing my weeing issues because she said it was all-over my urethra and will probably be inside now. I did have swabs done a few weeks ago and it said no thrush but from what she said, they aren't very reliable tests and they normally diagnose based on sight. I have had a gut feeling for weeks that it was thrush, but anyway, I'm on fluconazole now to try clear it but she said it might take a while seeing as I've had it for weeks now. It started the week after I stopped antibiotics 9 weeks ago and hasn't gone! Bloody fed up to be honest! I had a bladder emptying scan the other day as i ended up in A&E with a back issue, my bladder is emptying normally and my urine is clear too. x

[Cheeky]

20 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

Hey @Cheeky  Well, I guess that's good news your bloods are normal?! Basically, I went to my new GP on Tuesday and she did a internal examination and said I'm coated with thrush inside!  Which she said is most likely causing my weeing issues because she said it was all-over my urethra and will probably be inside now. I did have swabs done a few weeks ago and it said no thrush but from what she said, they aren't very reliable tests and they normally diagnose based on sight. I have had a gut feeling for weeks that it was thrush, but anyway, I'm on fluconazole now to try clear it but she said it might take a while seeing as I've had it for weeks now. It started the week after I stopped antibiotics 9 weeks ago and hasn't gone! Bloody fed up to be honest! I had a bladder emptying scan the other day as i ended up in A&E with a back issue, my bladder is emptying normally and my urine is clear too. x

Hey Jade, 

Im so happy they found the cause for your problem, you don’t need another thing in top of your withdrawals.

[HealthHopeHappiness]

20 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

Hey @Cheeky  Well, I guess that's good news your bloods are normal?! Basically, I went to my new GP on Tuesday and she did a internal examination and said I'm coated with thrush inside!  Which she said is most likely causing my weeing issues because she said it was all-over my urethra and will probably be inside now. I did have swabs done a few weeks ago and it said no thrush but from what she said, they aren't very reliable tests and they normally diagnose based on sight. I have had a gut feeling for weeks that it was thrush, but anyway, I'm on fluconazole now to try clear it but she said it might take a while seeing as I've had it for weeks now. It started the week after I stopped antibiotics 9 weeks ago and hasn't gone! Bloody fed up to be honest! I had a bladder emptying scan the other day as i ended up in A&E with a back issue, my bladder is emptying normally and my urine is clear too. x

Hi Jade, glad they found the cause of your discomfort. I had a course of fluconazole a couple of months ago for the same reason and it put me into a wave. I’m not saying this to worry you, more to reassure you if any of your WD symptoms ramp up. When I opened the leaflet inside the medication I realised why that would be the case as some of the (many) side effects are neurological. Hope this isn’t the case for you, but if it is, know it will pass. 💕

[Jadenatalie]

10 minutes ago, HealthHopeHappiness said:

Hi Jade, glad they found the cause of your discomfort. I had a course of fluconazole a couple of months ago for the same reason and it put me into a wave. I’m not saying this to worry you, more to reassure you if any of your WD symptoms ramp up. When I opened the leaflet inside the medication I realised why that would be the case as some of the (many) side effects are neurological. Hope this isn’t the case for you, but if it is, know it will pass. 💕

Hey @HealthHopeHappiness I took the fluconazole 2 days ago and haven't seen any improvement in my symptoms yet, still very red and sore. she did say I might need a longer course to treat the issue. I've found the main side effect being nausea, other than that I haven't had any other side effects I don't think. but, I was already in a wave anyway, so I don't really think it could get any worse! Just hope it works and it settles my issue down as it's driving me crackers. x

[Jadenatalie]

WEEK 38 (almost 9 months off meds): I thought I'd do an update today as a few things have been going on. So basically I've been having genital issues since the antibiotics and hot tub usage on my birthday weekend in October. It's still ongoing, I'm on a longer course of Fluconazole now to see if it can shift it fully and I'm going to see another specialist next week as my doctor doesn't agree with the HRT I've been given. I had a blood test Monday as I'm feeling pretty run down, the doctor rang me the next day to say I'm anemic, but also, that there's something wrong with my red & white blood cells, they are low. So I've had to do a bowel cancer screening, and I'm having a repeat blood test with another blood test included which checks the shape of my blood cells for blood and bone marrow diseases. So, a bit scary to be honest, but I'm trying to keep occupied and meditate etc. to calm my thoughts around it all. I speak to the doctor for all my results on 16th. Hopefully everything comes back okay. 

 

Regardless of all this going on with physical health issues, the last week or so mentally I've been having better days, better moments. The last 3 or 4 days I've also slept better, not back to normal but I've been getting 6-7 hours per night the last few days. I do feel generally a bit lethargic and groggy, but the doctor says my blood test is showing there's a reason for that. She just needs to find out the reason. I feel like I'm hopefully starting to get windows again after the awful time after the antibiotics, which lasted weeks on end. I haven't felt as tearful this last week or so either or suicidal. which is obviously a massive relief because I was considering meds again, but my partner convinced me to stick with the process. 

 

x

[siderale]

Hey Jadenatalie! I'm always glad to see your updates - even if they're not 100% positive, it shows that things are moving. I'm glad you share your journey with us.

I really believe that once these genial issues clear out you'll feel much more assured, one less thing gnawing at the back of your mind for sure (and your body deserves the relief as well!!). Hope the results will come in fast & be reassuring.

 

It is good to hear that you have finally seen a couple of better days, as well as better sleep. Everything has been rough on your body and I have no doubts you will recover from all of these issues taking a toll on you, physical and withdrawal both. Thinking of you!

[Jadenatalie]

On 12/3/2021 at 10:45 PM, siderale said:

Hey Jadenatalie! I'm always glad to see your updates - even if they're not 100% positive, it shows that things are moving. I'm glad you share your journey with us.

I really believe that once these genial issues clear out you'll feel much more assured, one less thing gnawing at the back of your mind for sure (and your body deserves the relief as well!!). Hope the results will come in fast & be reassuring.

 

It is good to hear that you have finally seen a couple of better days, as well as better sleep. Everything has been rough on your body and I have no doubts you will recover from all of these issues taking a toll on you, physical and withdrawal both. Thinking of you!

Hey @siderale thanks for your comment! yes things are definitely moving, sometimes very slowly! Yeah, I get the results next week so not too long to wait really and i'm trying to keep myself distracted in the meantime. Yes the better days have been cherished! And the better sleep! I've been looking at your updates and i do believe you're probably in a wave rather than relapse! plus, i think even if you were in a relapse, i think you can do this without the meds. You've handled withdrawal so well! 🥰xx

[Jadenatalie]

Just wanted to do a random update. A positive one, thankfully! So my last update i said that i was feeling less down, less suicidal etc etc. Well, The last 3 days have been SO GOOD. I've still had my physical health problems that are ongoing, BUT, my mood and motivation and sleep has been so much better! I feel like I've been in a semi-window for approx. 10 days now but the last 3 days were DEFINITE windows. My windows don't tend to last long so I'm anticipating a wave coming now, but, it's given me the boost i needed. I was very close to going back on meds a few weeks ago but my partner convinced me not to and I'm glad i didn't. I'm still relatively early in the withdrawal process, I'm almost 9 months off cold turkey. I've told myself that my withdrawal is probably going to last at least 18 months -2 years based on the success stories I've read. I'm finding that i'm having less physical withdrawal symptoms now and they're mostly mental issues, which again, seems like the usual pattern from reading on here. 

 

I did have a wobble a couple of weeks ago as all my friends have now been put on SSRI's, and then a celebrity UK doctor i follow on instagram posted his antidepressant tablet, basically telling people not be ashamed, talking about the chemical imbalance etc etc!! i unfollowed him after that. But that made me think, god if all my friends are on them and this doctor is also on them and telling everyone how GREAT antidepressants are, then maybe i need them?!?!?! But i spoke to my partner and he reassured me and told me to remember the reasons i were coming off these meds. 

 

x

[Melissa03]

It makes me mad too. My aunt was perscribed antidepressants for neck pain without Dr telling her what was it. She thought it was nsaid but luckily she googled it. Also there was a huge humatarian action in my country for young girl suffering a stroke. One of her medicines is my beast drug-paroxetine. Drs are perscribing it for every single issue. Why are your friends on it ?

[HealthHopeHappiness]

On 12/6/2021 at 9:29 AM, Jadenatalie said:

Just wanted to do a random update. A positive one, thankfully! So my last update i said that i was feeling less down, less suicidal etc etc. Well, The last 3 days have been SO GOOD. I've still had my physical health problems that are ongoing, BUT, my mood and motivation and sleep has been so much better! I feel like I've been in a semi-window for approx. 10 days now but the last 3 days were DEFINITE windows. My windows don't tend to last long so I'm anticipating a wave coming now, but, it's given me the boost i needed. I was very close to going back on meds a few weeks ago but my partner convinced me not to and I'm glad i didn't. I'm still relatively early in the withdrawal process, I'm almost 9 months off cold turkey. I've told myself that my withdrawal is probably going to last at least 18 months -2 years based on the success stories I've read. I'm finding that i'm having less physical withdrawal symptoms now and they're mostly mental issues, which again, seems like the usual pattern from reading on here. 

 

I did have a wobble a couple of weeks ago as all my friends have now been put on SSRI's, and then a celebrity UK doctor i follow on instagram posted his antidepressant tablet, basically telling people not be ashamed, talking about the chemical imbalance etc etc!! i unfollowed him after that. But that made me think, god if all my friends are on them and this doctor is also on them and telling everyone how GREAT antidepressants are, then maybe i need them?!?!?! But i spoke to my partner and he reassured me and told me to remember the reasons i were coming off these meds. 

 

x

Hi @Jadenatalieso great to hear you have had a window! And good you have documented it here so you can look back and remember the feeling. Long May it last! 
 

I know exactly which UK celebrity doctor you are talking about and I felt very similar when I saw his post. I see it has kickstarted a hashtag trend of #postmypill. I think this is extremely reckless and worrying. It also brought up lots of questions for me, similar to yourself. X

[JesusSavemefromWD]

3 hours ago, HealthHopeHappiness said:

Hi @Jadenatalieso great to hear you have had a window! And good you have documented it here so you can look back and remember the feeling. Long May it last! 
 

I know exactly which UK celebrity doctor you are talking about and I felt very similar when I saw his post. I see it has kickstarted a hashtag trend of #postmypill. I think this is extremely reckless and worrying. It also brought up lots of questions for me, similar to yourself. X

No wonder this “doctor” is famous and rich….. putting people on AD poisons, getting  them addicted and so they ll need these miracle drugs and his services long term….. I wonder if he is really taking ADs himself or if he lies about it to just convince more people of the “benefits” of ADs. If I wasn’t so sick I would confront him in his Instagram explaining how 3.5 weeks of Zoloft destroyed my life with no signs of recovery yet 13 months later. Idiot! @Jadenatalie great job saving urself from these poisons…..

[Jadenatalie]

12 hours ago, HealthHopeHappiness said:

Hi @Jadenatalieso great to hear you have had a window! And good you have documented it here so you can look back and remember the feeling. Long May it last! 
 

I know exactly which UK celebrity doctor you are talking about and I felt very similar when I saw his post. I see it has kickstarted a hashtag trend of #postmypill. I think this is extremely reckless and worrying. It also brought up lots of questions for me, similar to yourself. X

@HealthHopeHappiness hey! Well, it didnt last long, i fell back into a wave yesterday. I think its stress due to my vaginal/bladder issues. i'm going to the gynae again tonight. I'm not sure whether its a lingering infection or something more mechanical like tight pelvic floor muscles, which i hear are common in withdrawal so i'm going to ask about that. Yes, it made me very mad and i had to hold back commenting something really negative but i just stopped and deleted him! very worrying times we are living in! x

[Jadenatalie]

9 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

No wonder this “doctor” is famous and rich….. putting people on AD poisons, getting  them addicted and so they ll need these miracle drugs and his services long term….. I wonder if he is really taking ADs himself or if he lies about it to just convince more people of the “benefits” of ADs. If I wasn’t so sick I would confront him in his Instagram explaining how 3.5 weeks of Zoloft destroyed my life with no signs of recovery yet 13 months later. Idiot! @Jadenatalie great job saving urself from these poisons…..

@JesusSavemefromWD hey! well, he's a UK A&E doctor, so i do believe he will genuinely be on the drugs because he wont be the person giving them out generally in A&E. But, he is becoming the new NHS lead for young peoples mental health services, which is VERY worrying. I'm guessing, like most doctors, he doesn't know the extent of withdrawal and I'm guessing he hasn't tried coming off his meds yet either. But i thought it was very reckless to put such a post on a platform where he has millions of followers and he's a doctor. It was only the week before on the UK news that NHS have been told to prescribe antidepressants less now! x

[DinaDina]

7 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

I'm guessing, like most doctors, he doesn't know the extent of withdrawal and I'm guessing he hasn't tried coming off his meds yet either.

I always think the same way when I'm listening to positive words about AD. What will say these people when they will try to come off their AD?

[Jadenatalie]

9 months med free! (as of 2 days ago) my mood and anxiety has been up and down but I'm actually feeling better than I have been since the antibiotics and I'm sleeping abit better thankfully. I'm hoping after the 12 month mark I'll see much better improvements. I saw another gynae the other day about my issues I've had recently and he was lovely and basically said the other gynaecologist had done all the wrong things by putting me on HRT when I'm only 30 and have no hormone issues etc! 

[Jadenatalie]

So, just another small update. My mood at the moment isn't too bad actually, the anxiety isn't bad and I'm no longer feeling severely suicidal like I was a few weeks ago. My mood is still slightly low because I've got some urinary/gynae issues that I cant seem to get a break from! (which may infact be withdrawal related as I do see a lot of people having urinary issues to do with the nerves/muscles/anxiety) but I'd rather get it fully checked out. I'm seeing a pelvic floor therapist today, gynae on Friday and urology Wednesday! Thank god for private healthcare. My therapy is going well and we're working on my thought patterns and self esteem at the moment. It's hard work but I'm hoping it's going to be worth it eventually, especially to be med free. 

 

I've had another blood test this morning following on from my abnormal blood test a couple of weeks ago, i get the results Thursday from my GP. Hopefully it's nothing too sinister to worry about. My bowel cancer screen came back normal thankfully. So i have got a few things up in the air at the moment but hopefully as time goes on and these physical issues resolve, the stress will lessen too. I'm just looking forward to finishing work now for the festive period for 9 days.  

[siderale]

Glad to see that things are slowly settling back into place! Congrats for pushing through despite all the setdowns from the past months. One foot in front of the other, slowly but surely.

I hope therapy can help with everything, I'm positive that it's a really good thing on many aspects. I've only come to learn recently how self-esteem can be the root for so many problems (and way beyond WD). We're all worth it!

Crossing fingers that your blood test comes back all good and that the issues continue to clear off 😊

[lex1989]

9 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

So, just another small update. My mood at the moment isn't too bad actually, the anxiety isn't bad and I'm no longer feeling severely suicidal like I was a few weeks ago. My mood is still slightly low because I've got some urinary/gynae issues that I cant seem to get a break from! (which may infact be withdrawal related as I do see a lot of people having urinary issues to do with the nerves/muscles/anxiety) but I'd rather get it fully checked out. I'm seeing a pelvic floor therapist today, gynae on Friday and urology Wednesday! Thank god for private healthcare. My therapy is going well and we're working on my thought patterns and self esteem at the moment. It's hard work but I'm hoping it's going to be worth it eventually, especially to be med free. 

 

Hello Jadenatalie, just stopping by to wish you to let you know and maybe give you some kind of relief that the urinary problems you have, I have it as well and I've seen many people in A/D or benzo withdrawal have them. I also did every urinary test possible, there is no infection, no cold, no anything, at that point the urologist said it is definitely from the A/D.

 

I hope everything will be fine for you, keep positive, things will settle !

[Jadenatalie]

14 hours ago, lex1989 said:

 

Hello Jadenatalie, just stopping by to wish you to let you know and maybe give you some kind of relief that the urinary problems you have, I have it as well and I've seen many people in A/D or benzo withdrawal have them. I also did every urinary test possible, there is no infection, no cold, no anything, at that point the urologist said it is definitely from the A/D.

 

I hope everything will be fine for you, keep positive, things will settle !

Hi @lex1989 thats good to know that you had the checks and they were normal. I hope mine settles soon its driving me crackers. i just have a weird urethral pressure, urethral soreness/burning/pain/throbbing and more frequent need to urinate. I also have white fluff or chunks in my urine too. I see the urologist wednesday so i'll see what he says but again it's probably withdrawal! x

[lex1989]

1 hour ago, Jadenatalie said:

Hi @lex1989 thats good to know that you had the checks and they were normal. I hope mine settles soon its driving me crackers. i just have a weird urethral pressure, urethral soreness/burning/pain/throbbing and more frequent need to urinate. I also have white fluff or chunks in my urine too. I see the urologist wednesday so i'll see what he says but again it's probably withdrawal! x

Definatelly it’s withdrawal, for me during the day evrything it’s normal, but at night a need to urinate frequently, like between 4-8 times, depending if I am in a wave or not.

[Jadenatalie]

Just a little update. 41 weeks off SSRI's today. I've had a very up and down past few weeks, i've definitely been having some better times over the last few weeks which has been great. i'm still nowhere near normal mood wise, i sometimes still feel very sad or anxious and feel lost and trapped. I still have my physical symptoms going on and i was referred to the cancer team to check why my blood tests were abnormal and why i'm having symptoms of weight loss, aching, hair loss etc (these symptoms all started as soon as i stopped the meds btw!) but i cant explain why my blood tests are coming back abnormal. I feel that it may be because for the last couple of months ive had an ongoing candida infection that i cant seem to shake off, so obviously my blood tests will probably be abnormal if ive had an infection for so long. I'm back on more thrush meds now hopefully it can sort it out. I do feel very run down at the moment and my sleep the last 3-4 nights has been terrible again. I had some more blood tests yesterday so just hoping they all come back normal. I obviously have these stresses at the moment of the unknown so i think they are causing me anxiety and sadness but i'm hoping when this blows over, my mood will be much better. Wishing everyone a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year. xxx

[Jadenatalie]

10 MONTHS off SSRI's today.  I am so proud of myself for making it this far. It's still hard, i'm still in withdrawal, i still have weird low moods, crying spells, on and off insomnia, muscle aches and pains. I still have tons of withdrawal symptoms but they are lessening as time goes on, very slowly getting better. I think i'll still be having withdrawal symptoms for a while longer yet, but they arent unbearable anymore. The waves seem to be less intense too which is a welcome break. I have to say, i haven't had many moments yet where I've felt fantastic or normal etc BUT the bad times seem slightly easier and i seem to be leveling out a bit more now, i think! 

 

When i was on SSRI's, i also took propranolol alongside for extra anxiety help. sometimes i'd take 40mg at once whilst i was on SSRI's. Since coming off SSRI's me and my partner have noticed that i barely ever take propranolol anymore, and if i do i only take 10mg or 20mg at the most, once a day. There were times when i was on SSRI's that i was taking 120mg propranolol daily. So for the 5 years i was taking SSRI's, they were probably making my anxiety worse, or thats what it seems anyway! x

[Memphisto]

Hello Jadenatalie,

 

your last update sounds to me like it's getting really easier for you. I am very happy to see that the bad phases are no longer absolutely unbearable for you. you describe it very well how I experience it too. I am also still far from normal, but I can participate more and more in life. there are still bad days when I am near despair. but often a very bad day is followed by a pretty good day. and so hopefully we will continue towards our healing, our freedom and our lives. we will arrive!

 

Thank you for your update today, I wish you continued strength and endurance.

 

warmest greetings

memphisto

[Jadenatalie]

On 1/12/2022 at 1:25 PM, Memphisto said:

Hello Jadenatalie,

 

your last update sounds to me like it's getting really easier for you. I am very happy to see that the bad phases are no longer absolutely unbearable for you. you describe it very well how I experience it too. I am also still far from normal, but I can participate more and more in life. there are still bad days when I am near despair. but often a very bad day is followed by a pretty good day. and so hopefully we will continue towards our healing, our freedom and our lives. we will arrive!

 

Thank you for your update today, I wish you continued strength and endurance.

 

warmest greetings

memphisto

Hey @Memphisto thanks for dropping by. It's overall is getting easier i think, but i do still have harder days, days when i feel particularly low/tearful. But, i try not to let this discourage me too much as i realise since being in withdrawal that nothing lasts forever, no feeling or thought lasts forever, life is constantly changing and evolving and the next day might be a good day like you said! As you say, i hope the healing continues until we are all fully healed and happy with ourselves. I can't say i feel anywhere near being fully healed yet, but i still realise it's quite early days for me. 

 

Sending hugs to you.  

[ChessieCat]

6 hours ago, Jadenatalie said:

But, i try not to let this discourage me too much as i realise since being in withdrawal that nothing lasts forever, no feeling or thought lasts forever, life is constantly changing and evolving and the next day might be a good day like you said!

 

That is called "acceptance".  And it is good that you are handling it like this.  It causes a lot less stress.

[Jadenatalie]

27 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

That is called "acceptance".  And it is good that you are handling it like this.  It causes a lot less stress.

Thanks @ChessieCat  I've been practicing acceptance alot since being in withdrawal and with certain anxiety methods, 'DARE' and 'The anxious truth'. I believe these have helped me deal with withdrawal so far. 💪x

[Sunnylight]

Hello, just stopping by to say that am I happy to read that things are getting better for you! I have followed your story a bit and it is inspiring to see how far you have come and also to read how you are coping (or rather accepting) what is still happening to you. Thank you for this update and I wish you further heeling 🙏❤️

[Jadenatalie]

2 hours ago, Sunnylight said:

Hello, just stopping by to say that am I happy to read that things are getting better for you! I have followed your story a bit and it is inspiring to see how far you have come and also to read how you are coping (or rather accepting) what is still happening to you. Thank you for this update and I wish you further heeling 🙏❤️

Hey @Sunnylight thanks for dropping by! Aw thank you, it's lovely when i see people are following my story because i hope one day it will give many hope!! 

 

I hope you're healing too.  x

[Jadenatalie]

WEEK 45: I still cant believe I've made it to 45 weeks off SSRI's. Thought i'd do an update like I used to do and just make sure i'm keeping track of things for future purposes. Anyway, at the moment, I'm still having waves and windows, the waves don't seem as severe as before but they are still quite unsettling, the main wave symptoms I get at the moment are low mood, crying, anxiety, low energy, feeling meh, aching. So now the withdrawal symptoms seem more mental rather than physical, which kinda seems to be the normal pattern from what I've read on here. I wake some mornings with a really weird heavy chest and a feeling of impending doom, it's pretty horrid but it doesnt last long and it doesnt happen daily either.

 

My hair doesnt seem to be falling out as severely as it once was which is good. My sleep seems to be settling down (for now!). My aches and pains don't seem as severe when i'm in a wave now which i'm grateful for, i do believe that when i took the cipro in september 21 that i was 'floxed' to some degree, my joints still crack excessively now and i'll get days of really bad muscle and joint pain but it does seem to be getting less as the time goes by. At the moment, I feel like I dont look forward to anything, I feel pretty 'meh', low energy etc. This is definitely withdrawal related because before meds and w/d I've never had this feeling. 

 

What I have found massively helpful during this is watching 'the lovely grind' on youtube. His videos are amazing and describe withdrawal perfectly. he is someone who went through withdrawal for years but now hes living his best life, hes my inspiration. 

 

x

[siderale]

Hey @Jadenatalie! It's funny because today I logged in here thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. I truly feel like we have some sort of bond with our close "stopping the meds" date despite going through different WD lol.

 

Time sure flies. Reading your latest updates, it really seems like the intensity of your waves is slowly but surely becoming more bearable. The fact that it is not daily is reassuring as well, as opposed to early WD. I remember the terrible physical symptoms you had to deal with this summer, yet you soldierded on and even graced us with a photo from a hike you did despite all of this!

 

Thanks for keeping us updated and take care, I hope you feel lighter very soon. These past months, as I've noticed the improvement on my side, feeling "meh" and dull was the most present symptom if I may say. It's frustrating at times but can't rush healing, can we! Joy outbursts now make their appearance little by little and get more frequent. Better days are ahead!

[Jadenatalie]

On 1/20/2022 at 1:53 PM, siderale said:

Hey @Jadenatalie! It's funny because today I logged in here thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. I truly feel like we have some sort of bond with our close "stopping the meds" date despite going through different WD lol.

 

Time sure flies. Reading your latest updates, it really seems like the intensity of your waves is slowly but surely becoming more bearable. The fact that it is not daily is reassuring as well, as opposed to early WD. I remember the terrible physical symptoms you had to deal with this summer, yet you soldierded on and even graced us with a photo from a hike you did despite all of this!

 

Thanks for keeping us updated and take care, I hope you feel lighter very soon. These past months, as I've noticed the improvement on my side, feeling "meh" and dull was the most present symptom if I may say. It's frustrating at times but can't rush healing, can we! Joy outbursts now make their appearance little by little and get more frequent. Better days are ahead!

@siderale hey! Yeah I feel the same regarding our bond 😊 I'm so glad to see you're doing good now and I'm excited to read your success story once you hit that year mark!! Time does really fly, I can't believe my next month will be 11 months off. Its crazy!

 

You're right healing can't be rushed and it will come in its own time ❤️