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Needofwisdom: Cold turkey, escitalopram withdrawal


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Needofwisdom

Hello everyone, i am in need of dire help, my life is on a razor's edge at the moment. I have had depression for the majority of my life but as of today im on the cusp of my depression leading me to the worst situation i have ever been in. I am 34 years old and this post is about my most recent experience on the ssri escitalopram.

 

I had suffered from a delibating traumatic experience which lead me from one hellish experience to another. It started with me experiencing a concussion march 2019 which spiraled me into post concussion syndrome and consequently worstening depression poor concdntration etc i avoided ssris and fast forward 8 months later nov 2019 i lost my 5 month old puppy who was my support dog for my post concussion syndrome to a deadly virus called parvo.

 

I was in a strong depression afterward and my mother who is a psychiatrist prescribed me escitalopram 2.5 and ativan.5 . After my puppy died i could not even leave my room i was crying everyday. I could not function and i felt at that point that even though i was against any ssris i would take the escitalopram. Against my better judgement i took it the first couple weeks i had increased anxiety but slowly i began to function better and my crying spells and s thoughts diminished.

 

I had began to regain my confidence a month in and met new friends. I had upped the doseage to 10mg and was on 10 mg until sept 2020 where i began to wean off until Nov 2020 because i felt like the escitalopram was just making me feel nothing and i was becomimg more arrogant and egotistical almost maniacal which wasnt myself  I weaned off completely by Nov 2020 with little to no withdrawal symptoms. I felt like i wasnt very happy but i also wasnt very sad more like in the middle with slight ups and downs.

 

Fast forward to March 2021 i was in a rocky relationship which was making my moods and emotions unstable i began to feel more irritable i wasnt enjoying life as much i was when on the escitalopram. I started having more insomnia, began to feel a little more depressed by april 2021 i had contemplated reinstating escitalopram this was the worst decision of my life i looked down at the bottle and instead of contacting my mom i simply decided to take 10 mg from the beginning for 5 days then upped the dose to 20mg what followed is a nightmare im still living in today.

 

When i felt the escitalopram was making me feel sad uneasy i contacted my mother she told me i could not start from 10 then go to 20mg and that i should stop now. After i stopped cold turkey i began having the withdrawals within 2 days of stopping everyday for 4 months. Started with the flu like symptoms for 2 days then the massive headaches, short term memory loss, dizziness,inability to concentrate, massive insomnia,rage anger, derealization, for 2 months after the headaches,dizziness went away came the massive emotional instability,crying everyday,s thoughts and attempts, waking up with complete terror, very deep dark thoughts in the random times of the day, body aches felt like my body was itching for a drug burning like fire ants all over it.

 

Fast forward now its been 4 + months my previous withdrawals like headaches,dizziness,rage,insomnia have went away now i have extreme depression s thoughts everyday, ocd, dysphoria,dont want to do anything but stay in my room, im like a child who needs babysitting just to keep me from doing something stupid like the s thoughts and urges. 

 

I have read on here that reinstating can be an option. I feel like my brain chemistry has been altered to a point where im now dependent on psychiatric drugs. Before this i never had such strong urges and thoughts for self harm. I had depression but i wasnt this unstable now i feel like im very close to the end. I read that reinstating at >1mg of the original ssri taken can provide relief i have done this before during the withdrawal symptom stage at 2.5mg and it made my brain feel "numb" and my symptoms even worst so i quit about 4 days in. 

 

Im now trying 1mg this has been my second day trying. I believe im now in the stage where im post withdrawal and depression has returned to worst levels than before due to stopping cold turkey. Im taking daily video diaries to see how im doing.

 

1st day i took it at night and noticed a slight improvement in mood, dreams were extremely vivid and strange woke up in the middle of the night went back to sleep hour later after taking unisom sleep pills. Woke up with body anxiety took 750mg of gaba was relieved of anxiety. Then first half of the day i noticed colors were brighter and mood was slightly increased. Then a couple hours i had a hard crash bad deep dark thoughts, traumatic memories, s thoughts and urges same sadness. Took another >1mg followed by .5 klonopin fell asleep 2 hours woke up heavy drowsy still feeling sad. Then hour in i noticed improvement most likely klonopin its the only thing i used before that helps but i never take a half pill a week because im terrified of benzo dependence/withdrawal. Today is my second day on >1mg of escitalopram i woke up with diminished s thoughts. 

 

My question is this me restarting the escitalopram a good idea and how long should i stay on it lets say if this does actually work and will my s thoughts be there forever because they are so strong i want to admit myself to the psych ward but am afraid they will put me on more drugs. I feel so hopeless at this point. Ive been taking every supplement i could find throughout the withdrawals. If i had just known to retake the the 10mg of escitalopram during the first few days of withdrawals i believe i would have never gotten to this point.

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
shortened title

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

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@Needofwisdom If you want to take 1 mg escitalopram per day, you can follow the same procedure as described in my last post.    - The only difference is that you crush a whole pill of 10mg a

We cannot fix inconsistent dosing from measurement variation. You will have to figure out how to do that yourself. Using the prescribed liquid will be more reliable.

@Needofwisdom It appears that to some extent, you are creating conditions that cause you to be anxious. You are the only person who can stop this. Working with a coach or psychotherapist can help.

  • Moderator
Posted (edited)

Hi Needofwisdom,

 

Welcome to this support site. Before we can answer your questions, please give us more information first. Good that you came here. There is a lot of knowledge to be found and shared here. Also the members can support each other here.

 

Can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  I see you already made a signature, but please update it with all other drugs you take like Klonopin (including frequency and dosages) and also the latest reinstatements you did.

 

So sorry to read what you are going through! What you describe are very well known and often seen withdrawal symptoms from stopping Lexapro too fast. Very often WD symptoms start not before 2-4 months after stopping or after a too big drop in dosage.

 

All symptoms you describe are very well known as WD symptoms. I do not think that the mistake you made with the reinstatement caused this. It may have made it a bit worse maybe. But just stopping Lexapro this fast is enough to create these heavy WD symptoms several months after stopping. 

 

It is however a fact, that the more we go up and down in dosage, the more often we stop and reinstate and the more often we change meds, the more sensitized our nervous system gets. 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/?tab=comments#comment-525233

 

 

An other important thing to know is that withdrawal can cause extreme heavy emotions and negative thought. This is not who we are! This is withdrawal and it will go away over time.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14397-neuro-emotions/

 

Healing goes most often in patterns of waves and windows.  This means that we sometimes feel better suddenly and then bad again. This is normal and it is a sign that we are healing.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

You describe that you have been depressed for a long time. It might be good to find other ways to cope with this. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

Then for the reinstatement. Normally we do not advise reinstatement when one stopped more than 1-2 months ago. Reinstatement is not without risks. But healing from (nearly) cold turkey can also be very heavy. If you want to continue with reinstatement I would not take more than 0,5mg. That seems little, but our experience is that smaller reinstatements are more effective than bigger ones. These drugs are extremely potent 0,5 mg Lexapro still blocks around 30% or the serotonin receptors whereas a full pill of 10mg block around 78%. To give an idea of the power of these drugs....

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/?tab=comments#comment-33809

 

 

Edited by Go2zero

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

Link to post
  • Go2zero changed the title to Needofwisdom: cold turkeyed after reinstating escitalopram 4 months of terrible withdrawals followed by deepest depression i have ever experienced
Needofwisdom
7 hours ago, Go2zero said:

Hi Needofwisdom,

 

Welcome to this support site. Before we can answer your questions, please give us more information first. Good that you came here. There is a lot of knowledge to be found and shared here. Also the members can support each other here.

 

Can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  I see you already made a signature, but please update it with all other drugs you take like Klonopin (including frequency and dosages) and also the latest reinstatements you did.

 

So sorry to read what you are going through! What you describe are very well known and often seen withdrawal symptoms from stopping Lexapro too fast. Very often WD symptoms start not before 2-4 months after stopping or after a too big drop in dosage.

 

All symptoms you describe are very well known as WD symptoms. I do not think that the mistake you made with the reinstatement caused this. It may have made it a bit worse maybe. But just stopping Lexapro this fast is enough to create these heavy WD symptoms several months after stopping. 

 

It is however a fact, that the more we go up and down in dosage, the more often we stop and reinstate and the more often we change meds, the more sensitized our nervous system gets. 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/?tab=comments#comment-525233

 

 

An other important thing to know is that withdrawal can cause extreme heavy emotions and negative thought. This is not who we are! This is withdrawal and it will go away over time.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14397-neuro-emotions/

 

Healing goes most often in patterns of waves and windows.  This means that we sometimes feel better suddenly and then bad again. This is normal and it is a sign that we are healing.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

You describe that you have been depressed for a long time. It might be good to find other ways to cope with this. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

Then for the reinstatement. Normally we do not advise reinstatement when one stopped more than 1-2 months ago. Reinstatement is not without risks. But healing from (nearly) cold turkey can also be very heavy. If you want to continue with reinstatement I would not take more than 0,5mg. That seems little, but our experience is that smaller reinstatements are more effective than bigger ones. These drugs are extremely potent 0,5 mg Lexapro still blocks around 30% or the serotonin receptors whereas a full pill of 10mg block around 78%. To give an idea of the power of these drugs....

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/?tab=comments#comment-33809

 

 

 

Thank you for your reply Go2zero I appreciate it so much you taking the time to reply. My past 18 -24 month history of drugs are the Escitalopram 10 mg from jan 2020 to nov 2020 a short reinstatement for 5 or 6 days of 10 then 20mg of Escitalopram which i stopped cold turkey in april 2021 as well as klonopin and ativan as needed. 

 

I am keeping a daily video journal to reference too because my memory has become very poor since this WD hell happened to me.

 

This is my 4th day of reinstatement  i have purchased a mg scale on the 2nd day it arrived on the 3rd and first and second day i took a guess of the dosage by breaking a 10mg pill into 4 pieces then breaking off a tiny bit of that quarter pill. First day  after taking the dose. I had vivid intense dreams woke up to a bit of body anxiety.

 

2nd day I took gaba 750mg eased the anxiety went back to sleep.  Had a slight increase in mood and color brightness for about 4 to 5 hours through the day  then a hard crash with extremely worrisome depressing  s thoughts and urges came back i took .5mg of klonopin calmed me dowm and I  fell asleep for 2 hours around 7pm i measured and took .7 mg and urges and s thoughts became lowered in 30 to 60 mins. 

 

3rd day woke up with minimal body anxiety probably because of klonopin. I added 200 mg of l tryptophan 5 to 6 hours apart from my 3rd dose. During the morning i felt slightly better then around 12 to 1pm I experienced strong relief felt almost normal no s thoughts or urges was very glad to feel such a relief then around 5 or 6pm another crash this time slightly less harder than previous crashes. Waited til 8pm to take another measured dose of .6mg. Sleepy effect with decrease of low mood, diminished s thoughts. 

 

4th day (today august 24th) i decided to take my dose earlier in the day instead of later in the evening. Early morning body anxiety can feel the lexapro in my bodys nerves goes away in 30 to 60 mins. Supplemented lions mane 500mg, N-Acetylene, deep sea fish oil, l theanine 100mg, and 200mg of l tryptophan 5 hours from dose of .7 mg of ecitilapram. Mood through waking up to 4th dose at 2pm  about the same as previous days before previous daily crashes crash.(diminshed s thoughts, depression still evident but not so overwhelming as s urges depression, motivation still low, fatigue but overall much better position than when not on the dose because the s thoughts and urges are so so strong, the crying the breakdowns very strong when not on the low dose struggle very much) 

 

2pm took .6mg of 4th dose to avoid crash which i noticed was happening later in the afternoon. Slightly better boost of energy, slightly more motivation to leave the hpuse, less impulse to smoke cigarattes which i restarted after this hellish experience. Had one emotional crying spell around 5 pm about something that happened to a friend. It is now 8:48 pm august 24 2021.

 

How do you think this is going so far Go2zero. What are my options from here i am very scared of the s urges and thoughts the depression is crippling and the dissociation is also very unpleasant when the crashes occur its literal hell. It takes all my will and life away. It is such a difficult time for me everyday i have to make sure i take my dose of .5 to .7 or i fear the crash and the s urges trauma and horrendous breakdowns/ sadness. 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator

What do you feel? Do you have the feeling that the latest reinstatement makes you feel better (even a bit)?

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

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Needofwisdom
4 hours ago, Go2zero said:

What do you feel? Do you have the feeling that the latest reinstatement makes you feel better (even a bit)?

 

Thank you for the reply Go2zero

 

Yes it make me feel better lowers/diminishes my suicidal thoughts. Its like it blocks those extremely negative emotions and s thoughts at least for half the day then a crash with negative emotions and s thoughts for the first 3 days until i take the next dose for the day then again shortly after taking it blocks the negative emotions s thoughts and noticeably lifts my mood from s thoughts and breakdowns. I believe this was due to me taking the dose too late in the day. This last 4th day i took the doseage earlier in the day (2pm) and the mood increase diminished s thoughts lasted throughout the entire day until i fell asleep.  Then i awoke at 4am and felt anxiety and once again felt some negative thoughts and s thoughts but not as strong as previously. I took  .5 klonopin because i thought i was going to give myself an anxiety attack. Now it is 9am still feel body anxiety nervousness but am not feeling strong s thoughts and urges. I believe this having a positive effect so far although not completely lifting my mood its doing enough to keep me from going into mental and emotional breakdowns throughout the entire day. The most im trying to avoid are the strong s thoughts and urges which really pull me in when they happen.

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator

That is a very good sign that you feel somewhat better and have less negative thoughts! 

 

Understand that these thoughts come mainly from withdrawal. This is not who you are. And anyhow we are not our thoughts! Never.

 

Do you know how to do mindfulness meditation? This can help you to become the Observer of your thoughts instead of identifying with them.

 

The anxiety you feel in the night and early in the morning are most probably cortisol spikes. A very common WD symptom. Lots of members here suffer from that often in combination with insomnia (another very common symptom).

 

Mindfulness, Yoga Nidra, breathing techniques (for example Heart Math breathing) can all help with insomnia and cortisol spikes.

I have also good results from taking ORGANIC essential lavender oil drops. Put 2-4 drops in a glass of water. It may work within 30 minutes. Several members get good results from it. It relaxes and helps with anxiety. Only use when needed. Most people do not feel any side effects.

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

Link to post
Needofwisdom
51 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

That is a very good sign that you feel somewhat better and have less negative thoughts! 

 

Understand that these thoughts come mainly from withdrawal. This is not who you are. And anyhow we are not our thoughts! Never.

 

Do you know how to do mindfulness meditation? This can help you to become the Observer of your thoughts instead of identifying with them.

 

The anxiety you feel in the night and early in the morning are most probably cortisol spikes. A very common WD symptom. Lots of members here suffer from that often in combination with insomnia (another very common symptom).

 

Mindfulness, Yoga Nidra, breathing techniques (for example Heart Math breathing) can all help with insomnia and cortisol spikes.

I have also good results from taking ORGANIC essential lavender oil drops. Put 2-4 drops in a glass of water. It may work within 30 minutes. Several members get good results from it. It relaxes and helps with anxiety. Only use when needed. Most people do not feel any side effects.

 

Thank you Go2zero i really appreciate your help. One of my most disturbing symptoms is my memory and recall it really brings me down not being able to remember short term memories or recall things that i should recall because i tried to memorize them many times. I understand these are part of the withdrawal process but i also worry this is permenant neurological damage.

 

I have been trying to calm myself down and obseve those s thoughts but when they happen they are so overwhelmingly strong and i really have only my dog and my girlfriend helping me get through this. I also pray to God for help.

 

One of the most traumatic things about this whole experience is that my mother advised me to quit them cold turkey for no real apparent reason except the initial side effects. Then shortly afterwards she had no idea that reinstatement was the option. She completely ruined my life ay this point. The level of unxompetence makes me rage and gives me traumatic thoughts that im surw many people have felt towards their so called "professional" psychiatrists. This has become one of thw other traumatic things i trusted my mother and she didnt even havw the knowledge or care to figure out what discontinuation syndrome was. She blamed my dizziness and headaches on a tooth infection. It was only aftwr about 3 weeks of stopping i found out about ssri discontinuation. I was also taking 6 collegw courses and did not research it enough to understand what the proper steps were. I now regret not focusing 100% of my time on these initial withdrawals. I feel if i would havw reinstated close to the original dose i could have slowly weaned myself and avoided all this damage.

 

Do you believe that If i continue with this doseage with positive improvements and stabilize that i should move up in doseage to see if i continue to improve then slowly begin to wean off  or should i remain on this .5 .6 doseage stabilize and remain ?

 

 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Welcome, @Needofwisdom

 

It is not unusual for a psychiatrist not to know much about tapering, withdrawal syndrome, or reinstatement. Please be patient with your mother, you may be able to teach her something.

 

Over the last 2 weeks, how often have you taken Klonopin or Ativan? Have you taken a benzo almost every day since you went off escitalopram?

 

How much escitalopram are you taking now? At these very low doses, it's important to be accurate with the measurement, and to take the same dose at the same time each day.

 

It takes escitalopram about 4 days to ramp up to steady-state. Please let us know how you're doing as escitalopram gets to full effect.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Needofwisdom
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @Needofwisdom

 

It is not unusual for a psychiatrist not to know much about tapering, withdrawal syndrome, or reinstatement. Please be patient with your mother, you may be able to teach her something.

 

Over the last 2 weeks, how often have you taken Klonopin or Ativan? Have you taken a benzo almost every day since you went off escitalopram?

 

How much escitalopram are you taking now? At these very low doses, it's important to be accurate with the measurement, and to take the same dose at the same time each day.

 

It takes escitalopram about 4 days to ramp up to steady-state. Please let us know how you're doing as escitalopram gets to full effect.

 

Hello Altostrata thank you for replying.  I try to avoid taking benzos as much as possible through out the 4 month withdrawal process ive probably taken a half of a klonopin a total of 6 or 7 times and this is when i feel the worst depressive s states and urges witb breaking down in tears on the floor not being able to handle the suffering of the strength of these doom feelings of imminent terror with s thoughts and urges combined.

 

I took ativan half a mg .5 and .25 during the beginning of my withdrawals where i had major insomnia probably for 4 or 5 days then i stopped because they werent really working. I had experienced major insomnia every night for weeks and weeks only being able to sleep 2 or 3 hours a night. I then switched to diphenhydramine and unisom sleep pills which worked better.  I try my best to avoid using benzos as ive read countless stories of dependence and horrific withdrawal stories.

 

After the 4 months i experienced of the dizziness,headaches,rage,traumatic flashbacks of past experiences,derealization,memory loss, major insomnia,massive depression,waking up with the most terrifying feeling of doom in my chest, my body aching and burning with nerves firing up. The main symptoms im having now is the worst depression ive ever felt in my life, daily crying spells, s ideation, urges and even attempts. Memory loss, poor recall ability, dysphoria, fatigue,no motivation, loss of interest in daily life. In your opinion is this still solely part of the withdrawals or is this the part where the depression has returned to worst levels than before ? It feels like this is all my previous years of depression rolled up into one massive one. Like ive rewinded my brain all the way back and took the worst of all my life times and put them all together when i experience it. I could be feeling one way tolerable depression then bam hits me like a train worst depression ive ever felt super hard.

 

I am currently taking .6 mg of escitalopram a day at around 2pm measuring it with a digital mg scale. It has been "muting"/numbing that terrible doom depression breakdowns. It allows me to buy some time and evaluate the situation without breaking down from terror of what has been happening. Supplements Lions mane mushroom, fish oil, l theanine, vitamin d3, and 200mg of l theanine. 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata
43 minutes ago, Needofwisdom said:

After the 4 months i experienced of the dizziness,headaches,rage,traumatic flashbacks of past experiences,derealization,memory loss, major insomnia,massive depression,waking up with the most terrifying feeling of doom in my chest, my body aching and burning with nerves firing up. The main symptoms im having now is the worst depression ive ever felt in my life, daily crying spells, s ideation, urges and even attempts. Memory loss, poor recall ability, dysphoria, fatigue,no motivation, loss of interest in daily life.

 

These are classic withdrawal syndrome symptoms.

 

Why are you now taking 0.6mg escitalopram? By the way, if you can get a prescription for liquid escitalopram, that makes titration easier.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Needofwisdom
32 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

These are classic withdrawal syndrome symptoms.

 

Why are you now taking 0.6mg escitalopram? 

 

Because it mutes the deep feelings of dread, s thoughts and s urges, controls my breakdowns and im able to function better with it then without it. If i dont take it i feel absolutely miserable lay in bed all day obsess about negative past go into deep s ideation,crying spells with absolute feelings of doom. Its lifted my mood from s ideation all day and allowed me to continue through the day without breaking down multiple times. 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Yes, we know low-dose reinstatement mutes withdrawal symptoms. Why did you change from 1mg to 0.6mg escitalopram? When did you make this change?

 

It takes a change in escitalopram about 4 days for full effect. It's important to track how your symptoms change for the week after a drug change. Since you introduced 1mg (when?) and then decreased to 0.6mg (why? and when?), how has your symptom pattern changed each day?

 

I ask this because 0.6mg might be fine for your reinstatement, or you might do better with a different amount. You'd stabilize on this for some months, then taper off by tiny amounts later. We've had hundreds of people do this over the 10 years this site has been in existence.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
Foxclover6

Eesh I'm right there with you.  

 

- 10 mg lexparo 1.5 years

- ativan for panic 0.5 , never more than once daily and not everyday 

Incorrectly tapered and now taking nothing since 6-10-21. 

Took buspar a few days and had severe muscle pain. July 26, 27, then 30.

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Needofwisdom
30 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, we know low-dose reinstatement mutes withdrawal symptoms. Why did you change from 1mg to 0.6mg escitalopram? When did you make this change?

 

It takes a change in escitalopram about 4 days for full effect. It's important to track how your symptoms change for the week after a drug change. Since you introduced 1mg (when?) and then decreased to 0.6mg (why? and when?), how has your symptom pattern changed each day?

 

I ask this because 0.6mg might be fine for your reinstatement, or you might do better with a different amount. You'd stabilize on this for some months, then taper off by tiny amounts later. We've had hundreds of people do this over the 10 years this site has been in existence.

 

Thank you for the reply Altostrata, i really can only guess it was 1mg i simply dont know those first couple days i did not have a mg scale. I took the smallest dose i could guess. It was probably not even 1mg it was a tiny chip off the 10mg pill and when i measured the 10mg pill as a whole on the scale it actually reads out to be 13.6 mg. I dont know whats more accurate the scale which from reviews is supposed to be highly accurate or if the pill is 10mg with added 3+mg  fillers. Or if the pharmaceutical company isn't accurately measuring pills.

 

All i know is when I measure .6mg on the mg scale and take it i feel actual relief from my s urges and symptoms and that relief means so so much to me because without that relief im really close to the end. I wish i had found this website from the beginning this site is literally the only information that has brought me any relief. I am so thankful for any help because this entire time i have been so scared to listen to any psychiatrist or anything my mom said. She wanted me to try a new medication or reinstate at 5mg 1 month after withdrawals. Do you think that would have been a good idea ?

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • manymoretodays changed the title to Needofwisdom: Cold turkey, escitalopram withdrawal
  • Moderator

What kind of scales do you use? How many digits is shows after the comma? Can it weigh 1/1000 grams (1mg)?  This is most important. 

If your scales have 3 digits behind the comma it can weigh 1/1000 grams? What shows your scale exactly when you weigh 1 pill. Very often a pill has around 10% active ingredient and around 90% filling material. If that would be the case with your escitalopram pills a pill would not weigh 13,6 mg but most probably 136 mg.

 

We need to get this clear asap. It might be the case that you would be taking 0,06 mg instead of 0,6 mg...

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

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Needofwisdom
2 hours ago, Go2zero said:

What kind of scales do you use? How many digits is shows after the comma? Can it weigh 1/1000 grams (1mg)?  This is most important. 

If your scales have 3 digits behind the comma it can weigh 1/1000 grams? What shows your scale exactly when you weigh 1 pill. Very often a pill has around 10% active ingredient and around 90% filling material. If that would be the case with your escitalopram pills a pill would not weigh 13,6 mg but most probably 136 mg.

 

We need to get this clear asap. It might be the case that you would be taking 0,06 mg instead of 0,6 mg...

https://www.amazon.com/Milligram-Reloading-Calibration-Pennyweigh-MAXUS/dp/B07ZQZ962K/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=mg+scale&qid=1629942531&sprefix=mg+sca&sr=8-5

 

Thats the scale im using 

 

Here is a picture of .007 

 

So i guess im taking 7mg ? How is that possible when its nowhere near the size of the 10mg pill ?

20210825_191316_25.jpg

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
Needofwisdom
5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, we know low-dose reinstatement mutes withdrawal symptoms. Why did you change from 1mg to 0.6mg escitalopram? When did you make this change?

 

It takes a change in escitalopram about 4 days for full effect. It's important to track how your symptoms change for the week after a drug change. Since you introduced 1mg (when?) and then decreased to 0.6mg (why? and when?), how has your symptom pattern changed each day?

 

I ask this because 0.6mg might be fine for your reinstatement, or you might do better with a different amount. You'd stabilize on this for some months, then taper off by tiny amounts later. We've had hundreds of people do this over the 10 years this site has been in existence.

 

Im sorry i forgot to answer how my symptom pattern changed each day i have a post above on how my symptom pattern changed day to day. 1st night strange intense dreams and following day slight mood increase first 4 hours then a hard crash with s thoughts deep dark thoughts traumatic flashbacks foggy head dissociative perception gloomy disconnected took then took again lexapro dose at night symptom easement sleepy.2nd day same pattern 4 hours of slight relief then another crash later in the afternoon around 5pm took .5 of klonopin fell asleep for 2 hours. Took dose of lexapro 8pm symptom easement sleepy supplementing with lions mane, fish oil, l tryptophan, l theanine as well.

 

3rd day easement of symptoms slightly better then another crash half way through the day this time crash wasnt as bad as previous days. Took dose later at night again 8pm essement of symptoms easier to sleep. 4th day i decided to take the lexapro dose earlier around 2pm took l tryptophan lions mane and NAC N-Acetylene powder in the morning no crash that day went entire day without crashing and feeling those deep s urges and thoughts. 

 

5th day woke up 4 am increased anxiety guessing the timing of the previous dose caused this delayed slight crash felt like i could have an an anxiety attack decided to take .5 klonopin. These last few 5 days ive taken klonopin twice and thats the most ive taken them in a single week so far.

 

Today 5th day went through crying spells not because of s thoughts urges or doom but because i felt some emotions from my past but the memories were just past memories that werent negative depressing or doom like they were crying spells of feeling like a human. Mood was improved probably from klonopin for half the day 2pm took dose of lexapro. Mood was enough to do stuff outside depression still there wasnt enjoying much  just felt depressed but nowhere near how i was feeling when i would get these strong s thoughts and urges. Took another l tryptophan with fish oil l theanine slight mood increase in the evening. Now it is 9:30pm its the 5th day i havent had a strong crash today s thoughts present here and there throughout the day but not overwelmingly strong.. 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata
50 minutes ago, Needofwisdom said:

Mood was improved probably from klonopin for half the day 2pm took dose of lexapro.

 

How often do you take Klonopin?

 

It's important to take a consistent escitalopram dose at the same time each day. Are you able to get the prescription liquid? How about making a liquid from tablets yourself? That is described here Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays
Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, Needofwisdom said:

Thats the scale im using 

 

Here is a picture of .007 

 

So i guess im taking 7mg ? How is that possible when its nowhere near the size of the 10mg pill ?

 

Hi Needofwisdom and welcome, 

And yes, as Alto says, you need to get consistent now with dosing.

Best I can tell, I think you might be on day 3, 4, or 5 with your reinstatement trial, and you do feel like it is helping.

 

It's unlikely that you are taking a 7 mg dose now, from what I can glean from your picture.  It looks like less than a quarter of a pill fragment, so rest assured, that it is not nearly a 7 mg dose.  Apparently the fillers that make up the pills, along with the active ingredient(escitalopram) are fairly evenly distributed, but it's sure a lot of guesswork trying to determine just what dose you are taking.

And it is time to figure that, out, or get that straight and consistent.

I realize that you are doing the best you can.

 

Are you sticking with the same pill fragment weight each day now? 

The pill weight, by the way, is not the same as the dose strength.

Your scale measures in grams or that g symbol.

Can you show us the readout of a 10 mg tablet.  You mentioned 13.6 mgpw(in pill weight, again that's not the dose, it's the weight).

19 hours ago, Needofwisdom said:

It was probably not even 1mg it was a tiny chip off the 10mg pill and when i measured the 10mg pill as a whole on the scale it actually reads out to be 13.6 mg. I dont know whats more accurate the scale which from reviews is supposed to be highly accurate or if the pill is 10mg with added 3+mg  fillers. Or if the pharmaceutical company isn't accurately measuring pills.

The scale does not read out in mg, so I'm wondering what your scale showed exactly with your 10 mg dose strength pill weight.

The pills are always going to weigh more than the dose strength, it's not a pharmaceutical company error.  It's the addition of other materials, evenly distributed, along with the active ingredient of escitalopram,  like Go2zero said.

 

If you can, or would, share another picture of one of your 10 mg escitalopram tablets on the scale.  Make sure that you've followed instructions given with that scale too, as far as zero ing it goes, before you weigh.  That will help. 

And then from there, we can get a better idea of what that 0.007 g reading or 7 mg of strictly weight(again not the dose strength) is.

(0.007 g = 7 mg)

 

And for right now, the next couple of days, my best suggestion would be to stick with taking the escitalopram, with the given weight of 0.007 g on your scale, taken at the same time each day.   I think that's at 2 pm. 

When did you start your reinstatement with a tiny piece of a 10 mg pill?  Give us the date, rather than the day of the week, to help sort this out.

And then just note the date's again, and your successive doses.

I'm just trying to get some clarity here.

 

Seriously too, do take a look at the link above, that Alto gave, and consider your options now too, as for how you might choose to get some of the doses needed to continue with reinstatement.  Unfortunately drugs are not manufactured in all the strengths needed for re-instatements, and/or tapering.

 

And enough for this post, as it's getting lengthy.  I will post another though, addressing a couple other concerns shortly.  Hopefully within the next hour.

 

Best, Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)


Using a scale to weigh and measure doses

Here's the link to the scale topic ^, warning too, as it's long, and I'd skip on down to the first post by Alto, to get started there, as you are not working with beads, just a solid escitalopram tablet pill.

Edited by manymoretodays
of to or and in parenthesis addition, scale topic link

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • Moderator
manymoretodays

If you would go on through your narratives, that are posted, and in addition to the dates, and doses(or approximate doses or pill fragment weights) of escitaloprm, go ahead and note your clonazepam/klonopin. 

 

Go simple-  note the date(again, not the day of the week), then do the time on left, escitalopram by name and dose(or best approximation you can give, be it the weight readout or whatever) and then if you took clonazepam that day too, note it's name, and dose taken.

Ultimately, my hope is, that you can do some notes too, for when you share information with us here.  But I'd like you to just back track on the last 5 days, and do this with just the escitalopram and clonazepam, first.

 

This is what ultimately Notes will look like:

Click on the arrow, in the upper right hand corner, to see the whole post, and sample post.

I don't want to stress you out further right now though, so just putting that here, now, for reference.

We need to get your dosing clear first.

 

You can still do narratives too, and back and forths with us, and other members, for support, but separate those out from "just the facts" kind of posts.

Otherwise it's really hard to know what is what, and you can see how many members are here, and in need too, so.........trust me, it just helps us all out a lot.

 

On your supplements:

I'm seeing basketfuls mentioned in your narratives.......well, I exaggerate, but quite a few are listed.

Important topics abouts tests, supplements, treatments, diet

^ here's the link that then has all kinds of posts indexed into topics

And during this trial period of reinstatement, you certainly do not want to take anything that might mess with any of your neurotransmitters and receptors.

In fact the only 2 supplements we endorse are magnesium and the omega 3's.......you'll see them listed in the indexed list.

With any of the supplements you have mentioned, are any of those something you've been using regularly, since before you arrived here?  Or are most of them just randomly taken?  I mean if it was me, I'd do my best, to avoid the random taking of anything right now. 

And then, the general rule would be to just try one new thing at a time, starting out low, and going slow.  Again the Rule of 3KI's, that I think Go2zero linked you to already, but here it is again.......for review.  Important stuff Needofwisdom.

The rule of 3KIS;Keep it simple, slow, and stable

 

It's going to be really hard to know exactly what might be doing what, if there are too many new substances involved or added right now, for you, for us, for everyone.

 

I think that's probably plenty for now.  And just begin to take it piece by piece.  Sometimes an hour at a time.  Definitely a day at a time.  Now is probably not a great time, to reflect on everything.  Just take best care of you.  You are worth it.  And start to imagine the stability coming very soon.

 

Oh Needofwisdom, hugs.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Do consider some completely non-drug coping.  And I know you are having some difficult symptoms now too, and it's not easy. 
Non-drug techniques to cope

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. 

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

Link to post
Needofwisdom
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

How often do you take Klonopin?

 

It's important to take a consistent escitalopram dose at the same time each day. Are you able to get the prescription liquid? How about making a liquid from tablets yourself? That is described here Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

Hello Altostrata thank you for your reply.

 

In the last 6 days i have taken .5 Clonazepam twice thats the most ive taken it in a single week. This is due to the body anxiety i felt one morning i thought i would get an anxiety attack. Also earlier in the week I was feeling so so low and s ideation with s urges all day so i took a half to calm down. In the last 4+ months of withdrawals i have taken a half a pill maybe a total of 6 to 7 times during my worst breakdowns. I have been using Gaba and L theanine as a subsitute to the anxiety/panic mostly because i recognise the dangers of benzo use.

 

I am not sure if i am able to get the peescription liquid. My mom was the one who prescribed these pills to me i dont even have a psychiatrist i go to. She is now out of the country for the next 4 weeks. I made the mistake of thinking my mom would warn me of the heavy consequences of messing with these drugs. Instead she gives them out like candy and disregards the consequences or just doesnt know or understand just how much my life and other people's lives  have been affected by this. I made many mistakes in my life but this has got to be the worst one so far.

 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

 

Hi Needofwisdom and welcome, 

And yes, as Alto says, you need to get consistent now with dosing.

Best I can tell, I think you might be on day 3, 4, or 5 with your reinstatement trial, and you do feel like it is helping.

 

It's unlikely that you are taking a 7 mg dose now, from what I can glean from your picture.  It looks like less than a quarter of a pill fragment, so rest assured, that it is not nearly a 7 mg dose.  Apparently the fillers that make up the pills, along with the active ingredient(escitalopram) are fairly evenly distributed, but it's sure a lot of guesswork trying to determine just what dose you are taking.

And it is time to figure that, out, or get that straight and consistent.

I realize that you are doing the best you can.

 

Are you sticking with the same pill fragment weight each day now? 

The pill weight, by the way, is not the same as the dose strength.

Your scale measures in grams or that g symbol.

Can you show us the readout of a 10 mg tablet.  You mentioned 13.6 mgpw(in pill weight, again that's not the dose, it's the weight).

The scale does not read out in mg, so I'm wondering what your scale showed exactly with your 10 mg dose strength pill weight.

The pills are always going to weigh more than the dose strength, it's not a pharmaceutical company error.  It's the addition of other materials, evenly distributed, along with the active ingredient of escitalopram,  like Go2zero said.

 

If you can, or would, share another picture of one of your 10 mg escitalopram tablets on the scale.  Make sure that you've followed instructions given with that scale too, as far as zero ing it goes, before you weigh.  That will help. 

And then from there, we can get a better idea of what that 0.007 g reading or 7 mg of strictly weight(again not the dose strength) is.

(0.007 g = 7 mg)

 

And for right now, the next couple of days, my best suggestion would be to stick with taking the escitalopram, with the given weight of 0.007 g on your scale, taken at the same time each day.   I think that's at 2 pm. 

When did you start your reinstatement with a tiny piece of a 10 mg pill?  Give us the date, rather than the day of the week, to help sort this out.

And then just note the date's again, and your successive doses.

I'm just trying to get some clarity here.

 

Seriously too, do take a look at the link above, that Alto gave, and consider your options now too, as for how you might choose to get some of the doses needed to continue with reinstatement.  Unfortunately drugs are not manufactured in all the strengths needed for re-instatements, and/or tapering.

 

And enough for this post, as it's getting lengthy.  I will post another though, addressing a couple other concerns shortly.  Hopefully within the next hour.

 

Best, Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

 

 

 

Hello manymoretodays thank you for your reply. I appreciate all the information im getting on this forum so very much. Its amazing to see such a community. Here below is a photo of a complete pill of escitalpram.

 

I started my first guess doseage reinstatement on the night of August 21st. I continued a tiny chip off the pill the next night august 22nd on august 23rd 2 days from my first dose my mg scale arrived. I continued to dose daily from .006 to .007 from that day on. 

 

This is an extremely stressful situation for me. I feel like im juggling my life around and one mistake can cost me my entire life. Today is August 26th i woke up at 4am after 4 and half hours of sleep. Then couldnt fall back asleep for 2 hours. Woke up 3 hours later at 9am with body anxiety that you get when you are beginning lexapro. It is now 11am i am still feeling the body anxiety mood is slightly more stable. S thoughts and urges not so prevelant. Depression still remains but much better than before i began this dosing.  Supplementing with NAC powder N-Acetylene 1200mg, L tryptophan 200mg, l theanine 100mg,deep sea fish oil 4000mg.

 

I would also like to add that this is not my first reinstatement during the withdrawal process. I had previously tried to reinstate 2.5mg one month previously on July 20th while it did mute crying spells and emotions i felt like a zombie with no real relief just felt the side effects the masking of the emotions but made a lot of my symptoms more agitated like the dissociation the depression the irritibility ocd like symptoms. Like a flat effect with no benefits except the muting of crying spells and the drops. It made me a complete A - HOLE  to be around so i stopped after 4 days i did pickup smoking cigaretes after that. In hindsight it made things worst. What i noticed is now after the 4th or 5th day being on this dosage i know longer have the urge to smoke cigarettes whereas previous to this i would smoke cigarettes every 10 to 20 mins.

 

I have also tried using marijuana at different points of the withdrawal and it made things much worst so i quit that all together. I believe this is all due to my nervous system being in complete disarray and anything that stimulates it in an excitatory way creates a negative effect. I tried using cbd only no thc at with a vape pen earlier in the withdrawals did not notice too much benefit but did make me slightly calmer. 

 

 

 

 

 

20210826_102348_19.jpg

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator

Thank for showing the full pill weight. So let's do some math...

 

- A full pill weighs 136mg.  This pill has 10mg active ingredient. (so 126mg filling material)

- This means that 1mg active ingredient weighs 136/10= 13,6 mg pillweight

- 0,1 mg active ingredient  would weigh 136/100= 1,36 mg pillweight

 

When you want to take 0,6mg active ingredient this would be 6 x 1,36 mg = 8,16 mg  pillweight

8mg would be the best you could weigh with these scales since they do not show more than 3 digits behind the comma

 

But, these scales are not 100% accurate. They have to be calibrated regularly. And even then there are quite some differences possible in weighing very low weights.

 

Therefor we suggest to use liquids for low dosages. If you cannot get a prescription for liquid escitalopram, you can easily make your own liquid from tablets. This is much more accurate than dry weighing and cutting.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/

 

Next to the scales that you have, you only need a 10 ml syringe for measuring the right amount of water, a bottle of 10ml and an oral syringe for measuring your daily dose.

 

For a daily dose of 0,6 ml you could work as follows:

 

1) Weigh 80 mg pillweight and crush this to powder

2) Put ALL the crushed powder in the 10 ml bottle

3) Add 10 ml water with a 10 ml syringe

4) Close the bottle and shake very well

 

You can keep this solution for 5 days if refrigerated (in dark which is a fridge normally)

This bottle contains now 10 ml water and 80/136 x 10mg = 5,9 mg active ingredient.  So 0,59 active ingredient per ml

 

5) When you buy an oral syringe of 1ml at the pharmacy, you will be able to dose very carefully every day. You take exactly 1 ml with the oral syringe from the bottle ( after shaking it very well each time).

 

In theory you could put less then 80 mg pillweight in the bottle and use less than 10 ml. In my description you will throw away 5 ml solution every time after 5 days of use. But there is a good reason for this;

 

First is that weighing higher numbers is more accurate than lower weights on these scales. Second, you get a more stable daily dose when you take only 5ml (in 5 days) from a 10 ml bottle than if you were making exactly 5 ml. There would most probably stay rests of the active ingredient in the bottle then.

 

Hope you understand it what I mean to say...

 

When this all works out fine, you could start tapering the 0,6 (0,59) ml after getting stable. You could then continue the above, but measure a bit less in the oral syringe with every taper. In that way you could taper extremely accurate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

Link to post
Needofwisdom
1 hour ago, Go2zero said:

Thank for showing the full pill weight. So let's do some math...

 

- A full pill weighs 136mg.  This pill has 10mg active ingredient. (so 126mg filling material)

- This means that 1mg active ingredient weighs 136/10= 13,6 mg pillweight

- 0,1 mg active ingredient  would weigh 136/100= 1,36 mg pillweight

 

When you want to take 0,6mg active ingredient this would be 6 x 1,36 mg = 8,16 mg  pillweight

8mg would be the best you could weigh with these scales since they do not show more than 3 digits behind the comma

 

But, these scales are not 100% accurate. They have to be calibrated regularly. And even then there are quite some differences possible in weighing very low weights.

 

Therefor we suggest to use liquids for low dosages. If you cannot get a prescription for liquid escitalopram, you can easily make your own liquid from tablets. This is much more accurate than dry weighing and cutting.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/

 

Next to the scales that you have, you only need a 10 ml syringe for measuring the right amount of water, a bottle of 10ml and an oral syringe for measuring your daily dose.

 

For a daily dose of 0,6 ml you could work as follows:

 

1) Weigh 80 mg pillweight and crush this to powder

2) Put ALL the crushed powder in the 10 ml bottle

3) Add 10 ml water with a 10 ml syringe

4) Close the bottle and shake very well

 

You can keep this solution for 5 days if refrigerated (in dark which is a fridge normally)

This bottle contains now 10 ml water and 80/136 x 10mg = 5,9 mg active ingredient.  So 0,59 active ingredient per ml

 

5) When you buy an oral syringe of 1ml at the pharmacy, you will be able to dose very carefully every day. You take exactly 1 ml with the oral syringe from the bottle ( after shaking it very well each time).

 

In theory you could put less then 80 mg pillweight in the bottle and use less than 10 ml. In my description you will throw away 5 ml solution every time after 5 days of use. But there is a good reason for this;

 

First is that weighing higher numbers is more accurate than lower weights on these scales. Second, you get a more stable daily dose when you take only 5ml (in 5 days) from a 10 ml bottle than if you were making exactly 5 ml. There would most probably stay rests of the active ingredient in the bottle then.

 

Hope you understand it what I mean to say...

 

When this all works out fine, you could start tapering the 0,6 (0,59) ml after getting stable. You could then continue the above, but measure a bit less in the oral syringe with every taper. In that way you could taper extremely accurate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your vast experience and knowledge Go2zero.

Wow this is getting really complex for me at this point. Im afraid that if i try anything like this at this point and make an error in calculation the results could be disasterous. My mental facilities arent all completely there at this point so I'm sorry if i am being repetetive. 

 

The part that is confusing me is weighing .080 g which would be 80mg dissolving that into a 10 ml syringe then dividing that into 10 individual 1ml oral syringe solutions. How much does the 10ml syringe dissolve 80mg of the pill? 8mg per 1ml solution which is roughly .6mg of the entire pill ?

 

"0,1 mg active ingredient  would weigh 136/100= 1,36 mg pillweight"

 

So this is confusing me as well when i weight .007g of the total weight of the pill that is 7 mg of the entire pill weight of .136 grams which is 136mg and if the active ingredients are evenly distributed. 7mg of 136mg is roughly 5 % of the entire pill which is .5 of 10.

 

So somewhere in between .013g and .014g would be 13 to 14mg range would make it roughly 10% of the 10mg pill or 1mg? 

 

Thank you for so much of this information i don't know where I would be right now without the vast knowledge and experience on this forum. 

Sorry if im not making sense im just weary of messing around unless i know exactly for sure i know what im getting into. My confidence in myself is not so high at this point and i hve a lot of fear of making mistakes.

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator
Posted (edited)
39 minutes ago, Needofwisdom said:

The part that is confusing me is weighing .080 g which would be 80mg dissolving that into a 10 ml syringe then dividing that into 10 individual 1ml oral syringe solutions. How much does the 10ml syringe dissolve 80mg of the pill? 8mg per 1ml solution which is roughly .6mg of the entire pill ?

 

- You would weigh 80mg, crush it and put the powder in a 10ml bottle (not in a syringe).

- Then you measure 10 ml water with a 10ml syringe and put the 10 ml in the bottle as well. So you mix the 10ml water with the 80mg powdered pill.

- Then you shake it and the solution is ready.

 

- Then you take every day 1 ml from this solution, with the 1 ml oral syringe. 

- After 5 days there is 5ml left in the bottle. This 5ml you throw away. 

 

Next day you start the same process again. And so on after every 5 days.

 

Do you understand it better this way?

Edited by Go2zero

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Thank you so much, @Go2zero

 

My guess is it would be better for @Needofwisdom to take 1mg escitalopram consistently for 4 days and see what it does. 

 

@Needofwisdom, it would help if you did not take any clonazepam, marijuana, or new supplements during a drug change. We need to see what the drug change does. Taking other drugs will confuse your symptom pattern.

 

You can get an oral syringe for the liquid drug from a pharmacy or veterinarian.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post
Needofwisdom
25 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

 

- You would weigh 80mg, crush it and put the powder in a 10ml bottle (not in a syringe).

- Then you measure 10 ml water with a 10ml syringe and put the 10 ml in the bottle as well. So you mix the 10ml water with the 80mg powdered pill.

- Then you shake it and the solution is ready.

 

- Then you take every day 1 ml from a this solution with the oral syringe. 

- After 5 days there is 5ml left in the bottle. This 5ml you throw away. 

 

Next day you start the same process again.

 

Do you understand it better this way?

 

Yes thank you Go2zero this clears that up. I don't know where I would be without you and others here. Im here literaly crying because your help and the help from others on  this forum have led me to feel actual relief from those s

thoughts, urges and complete breakdowns. Today is August 26th and I haven't had a breakdown or s thoughts for the entire day. I'm so so grateful for your help. I know its still early and i have a long hard road ahead of me but where I was 6 days ago and where I am today is night and day. I cannot thank you enough. I have so much more to learn. I am taking daily video logs of my day to day symptoms ups and downs.

 

14 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Thank you so much, @Go2zero

 

My guess is it would be better for @Needofwisdom to take 1mg escitalopram consistently for 4 days and see what it does. 

 

@Needofwisdom, it would help if you did not take any clonazepam, marijuana, or new supplements during a drug change. We need to see what the drug change does. Taking other drugs will confuse your symptom pattern.

 

You can get an oral syringe for the liquid drug from a pharmacy or veterinarian.

 

Thank you Altostrata

I will avoid taking clonazepam from now on. Marijuana is out of the question it definitely does not help just makes it worst. The supplements I am taking currently on a daily basis are l theanine, l tryptophan, fish oil, lions mane, and believe they are helping very much to aid the process.

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator

@Needofwisdom If you want to take 1 mg escitalopram per day, you can follow the same procedure as described in my last post. 

 

- The only difference is that you crush a whole pill of 10mg active ingredient (so 136mg pillwieght) escitalopram. So you do not have to weigh the pill now. You just crush a whole pill

 

- You dissolve this whole pill in the 10 ml water in a 10 ml bottle

 

- You take 1 ml of the solution. That will be exact 1mg active ingredient of escitalopram. 

This is a much better and much more accurate way of measuring your daily dosage than weighing a very small part of your pill. It will be nearly impossible to make accurate dosages of 1g or less in dry weighing and cutting.

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

Link to post
Needofwisdom
23 minutes ago, Go2zero said:

@Needofwisdom If you want to take 1 mg escitalopram per day, you can follow the same procedure as described in my last post. 

 

- The only difference is that you crush a whole pill of 10mg active ingredient (so 136mg pillwieght) escitalopram. So you do not have to weigh the pill now. You just crush a whole pill

 

- You dissolve this whole pill in the 10 ml water in a 10 ml bottle

 

- You take 1 ml of the solution. That will be exact 1mg active ingredient of escitalopram. 

This is a much better and much more accurate way of measuring your daily dosage than weighing a very small part of your pill. It will be nearly impossible to make accurate dosages of 1g or less in dry weighing and cutting.

 

Thank you so much Go2zero i am going to the local pharmacy right now to purchase all the required supplies. 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
Needofwisdom

I went to the local pharmacy and found two 5ml and two 10ml oral syringes  they did not have 1ml syringes. Also i could not find a 10 ml bottle at the pharmacy. Will these suffice ?

 

https://www.amazon.com/Refillable-Graduated-Essential-Cosmetics-Container/dp/B01MR5QE5K/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=10ml+bottle+with+dropper&qid=1630023217&sprefix=10+ml+bott&sr=8-4

20210826_170712_25.jpg

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator

You should better buy 10ml (0,34 fl-oz) bottles with a cap, not with a dropper....

 

Like these: https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Botellas-onzas-líquidas-color-ámbar/dp/B010JH19EY/ref=sr_1_13?crid=1DUBLT6PTJW1A&dchild=1&ie=UTF8&keywords=10 ml bottle with cap&language=en_US&qid=1630074205&sprefix=10ml bottle %2Caps%2C270&sr=8-13

 

Here are the right oral syringes (1ml), also in Amazon

 

https://www.amazon.com/-/es/exactamed-medicamentos-transparente-dispensador-exacta-med/dp/B01628CDEE/ref=sr_1_4?__mk_es_US=ÅMÅŽÕÑ&dchild=1&keywords=oral+syringe+baxa+1+ml&qid=1630074058&sr=8-4

 

The syringes of 5ml and 10ml are only meant for measuring the right amount of water. The 1ml oral syringe is for taking your daily dose. The last one is much more accurate for daily dosing.

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

Link to post
Needofwisdom
7 hours ago, Go2zero said:

You should better buy 10ml (0,34 fl-oz) bottles with a cap, not with a dropper....

 

Like these: https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Botellas-onzas-líquidas-color-ámbar/dp/B010JH19EY/ref=sr_1_13?crid=1DUBLT6PTJW1A&dchild=1&ie=UTF8&keywords=10 ml bottle with cap&language=en_US&qid=1630074205&sprefix=10ml bottle %2Caps%2C270&sr=8-13

 

Here are the right oral syringes (1ml), also in Amazon

 

https://www.amazon.com/-/es/exactamed-medicamentos-transparente-dispensador-exacta-med/dp/B01628CDEE/ref=sr_1_4?__mk_es_US=ÅMÅŽÕÑ&dchild=1&keywords=oral+syringe+baxa+1+ml&qid=1630074058&sr=8-4

 

The syringes of 5ml and 10ml are only meant for measuring the right amount of water. The 1ml oral syringe is for taking your daily dose. The last one is much more accurate for daily dosing.

 

Thank you Go2zero i ordered 100 pack of 1ml oral syringes and those 1 ml bottle caps you suggested thank you. Today was a rough day last night i fell asleep woke up 2 hours later couldnt go back to sleep for another 3 hours only after taking doxylamine succinate *unisom sleep pills*. Heavy drowsy sleep. Woke with body anxiety again dealing with the side effects. Today had some more emotional crying spells and irregular moods although no real off the cliff crashes so im thankful for that.  took another dose of .007g at 2 pm. Currently feeling a bit sleepy and drowsy. 

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Mentor
Greatful

@Needofwisdom  Hi wanted to touch base with you.  Welcome to SA, I am sorry you are struggling so much.  I know this  is a scary time for you.  Remember you are not alone.  It looks like you are getting really good help. 

I hope you feel better soon.❤️

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg   5/16  5mg

 5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg

 

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Needofwisdom
1 hour ago, Greatful said:

@Needofwisdom  Hi wanted to touch base with you.  Welcome to SA, I am sorry you are struggling so much.  I know this  is a scary time for you.  Remember you are not alone.  It looks like you are getting really good help. 

I hope you feel better soon.❤️

 

 

 

Thank you Greatful, I appreciate your encouragement. I'm struggling day to day but I am trying my best to one day get off this drug and be able to function day to day without any drugs. I want to be able to one day be strong enough to be myself without withdrawals. This has been a painful tiring difficult journey so far. As i know so many of you know first hand having this community to share information and be apart of is so very helpful.

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

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  • Moderator
9 hours ago, Needofwisdom said:

Thank you Go2zero i ordered 100 pack of 1ml oral syringes and those 1 ml bottle caps you suggested thank you.

If you want you can re-use the oral syringes. I wash and dry them after every use. That works fine.

 

I hope/guess you  bought 10ml bottles not 1ml...

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

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Needofwisdom
10 hours ago, Go2zero said:

If you want you can re-use the oral syringes. I wash and dry them after every use. That works fine.

 

I hope/guess you  bought 10ml bottles not 1ml...

 

Yes thank you Go2zero im sorry that was a typo, I ordered 10ml bottles off of amazon. I want to update how im currently doing, so today is saturday August 28th 9:28am yesterday night my sleep pattern was irregular 2 hours sleep vivid dreams awoke then fell asleep again for 2 hours, more vivid dreams awoke then fell asleep for an hour more vivid dreams. I wonder if this is some way the brain is trying to find a way to reset itself and cant find its previous timing. 

 

So right now i can honestly say my main scariest symptoms( s thoughts and s urges) have improved not just a little bit but a whole lot. My mood has also improved much throughout many times of the day. I don't want to speak too soon but I feel that I am pretty much almost stable at many points of the day. This was the case for previous days at certain times of the day as well until symptoms returned at different times of the day and night. However the steady improvement of symptoms has been clearly evident this is the 8th day and i have been taking daily video logs of my symptoms. I have looked back at my face on the first few days and today i can clearly see a dramatic positive change in my face and the way im speaking.

 

Another thing is I have been reading on hyponatremia or low sodium levels in the blood which many ssri's including lexapro cause. So I went out yesterday afternoon and bought some gatorade powder because of the electrolytes and sodium contents. Ever since i have been drinking gatorade I have had positive results in memory, cognition and other symptoms like fatigue. While this evidence is anecdotal I can honestly say it has been a benefit all around. 

 

Currently supplementing with 200mg L tryptophan, 500mg lions mane, l theanine 100 -500mg range, fish oil 4000-7000mg,N-Acetylene NAC powder 1200mg, magnesium 250mg. 

 

At .007g or 7mg of the 136mg total weight of the 10mg pill of escitalapram otherwise around .5mg of 10mg active ingredient of escitalapram im getting these positive results so far.  Is updosing to lets say .75mg or 1mg a good idea at this point or should I hold at this doseage and if so for how long ? 

 

 

 

 

20210828_092315_26.jpg

Zoloft Jan 2005 - July 2005 weaned off

Zoloft June 2008 - Jan 2009 weaned off

Escitalopram Jan 2019 - Nov 2020 weaned off

Escitalopram April 2021 6 days 10 and 20mg ct stopped

Escitalopram July 20th 2021 to July 30th reinstated 2.5mg discontinued ct after feeling no benefit worsening

Escitalopram August 21st 2021 .5mg reinstatement

Klonopin as needed 

Ativan as needed

Link to post
  • Moderator
56 minutes ago, Needofwisdom said:

So right now i can honestly say my main scariest symptoms( s thoughts and s urges) have improved not just a little bit but a whole lot. My mood has also improved much throughout many times of the day. I don't want to speak too soon but I feel that I am pretty much almost stable at many points of the day. This was the case for previous days at certain times of the day as well until symptoms returned at different times of the day and night. However the steady improvement of symptoms has been clearly evident this is the 8th day and i have been taking daily video logs of my symptoms. I have looked back at my face on the first few days and today i can clearly see a dramatic positive change in my face and the way im speaking.

 

So great to read this. This is definitely a healing sign. Ok, be aware that it may go up and down. Healing comes in waves and windows. But what you tell are very good signs.

 

58 minutes ago, Needofwisdom said:

Is updosing to lets say .75mg or 1mg a good idea at this point or should I hold at this doseage and if so for how long ? 

 

Reinstating is not exact science. Listening to your body tells you a lot. If not the most. If you feel OK with this low dosage, it might be better to stay on this. The lower the reinstatement the better (when it is working).

 

You can be proud of yourself! You are doing great!

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

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