DustyMoon13: citalopram

[DustyMoon13]

Hi 

I am currently withdrawing from Citalopram (40mg) but I've been stuck on 10mg for 3 months with withdrawl symptoms and fear to taper lower.

 

I now know I tapered wayyyy too fast, 30mg drop over 5 weeks. 

I had no withdrawl until I hit 10mg and I was withdrawing hard for 6 weeks after.

It's now been about 3 months and I think I am in withdrawal again. 

 

Is that possible? 

My current symptoms are - 

No engery

Waking up achey 

Headaches 

On going menstrual cycle (23 days of bleeding, intermittent bleeding, horrible periods) 

So moody and sensitive 

 

I have been having my hormones checked thinking something is wrong but now it has been suggested to me that I might still be withdrawing. 

 

Does citalopram/withdrawl effect people's menstrual cycle? 

 

I welcome all advice going forward. 

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @DustyMoon13

 

Yes, one withdrawal syndrome gets going, it can last a long time. Many women find the symptoms are worse at times in their menstrual cycles.

 

You might find your withdrawal symptoms are reduced if you increase your dosage a little, from 10mg to 12mg, for example. Citalopram comes in a prescription liquid so you can add 2mg to your 10mg tablet, or you can make your own liquid, as described here Tips for tapering off citalopram (Celexa)

 

After you stabilize for a good while, you can taper by our gradual 10% method using the liquid.

 

[DustyMoon13]

I am a little bit in shock... 

I have come back today because I finally tapered off Citalopram as of mid November so it's been nearly 8 weeks Citalopram free. 

I am having a shocking day of anxiety and sensory sensitivity.

Also so many intrusive thoughts. 

I came back here to take in the advice and take comfort in knowing I'm not alone.

But yes I'm very shocked reading my own profile... 

I now see it has taken me 12 months to taper 10mg of citalopram. 

And I was on 2.5mg before I stopped completely 8 weeks ago.

And still 2.5mg is having this much of a withdrawal effect... Sigh. 

I wish the liquid form was available in our country so I could of tapered that last bit differently but it is what it is.

Even though it's not a great feeling, I am super proud of myself and so excited that I don't have to take it anymore.

I wonder how I will feel a year from now.

 

[DustyMoon13]

13 weeks Citalopram free... Don't know if my husband is a horrible match for me or I'm in withdrawls 

[DustyMoon13]

Annnnnd it's now 16 weeks at 0mg.

I took a whole lot diazapam last week and oh my goodness it was such a relief.

 

I know it isn't great because it's just a bandaid but just having a few days of actually feeling love for the world was nice.

 

It reminded me of what how I used to feel about every day things. 

I am usually a person who looks to the bright side and I wonder over small every day beauty's.

For the last 16 weeks I have had absolutely zero moments of feeling like that and it is heartwrenching for me.

 

I have been coming back to the site to read the success story's to try and remind myself of what I'm actually doing. 

 

But of course I get mad and sad that this is even having to happen to me.

I get mad at the GP who gave me citalopram in the first place.

I don't even know who he is or what his name was it was so long ago.

 

I've had so many life changes lately and I haven't experienced these changes in my own right mind.

We have moved into our dreamhouse and my brain won't let me feel happy. 

 

When will those little receptors open their doors and let me feel happiness like I know I can.

 

It's so strange actually feeling a single moment of real happiness for 10 seconds.

 But it's not when I'm suppose to be feeling it.

It's like when I'm randomly driving the car or making myself some lunch.

And then it's gone again. 

 

But of course the crushing feeling of despair seems to have made itself its own little cubby house with furniture and working lights and probably its own mailbox where it gets eviction letters that never get opened. 

*******.

 

I see my post above about thinking my husband hates me.... Oh wow yep that was the start of that thought train and I can confirm that is now a regular theme that comes along when I'm feeling like ****.

It's my brains favourite chew toy at the moment. 

Oh my poor husband. 

 

[OffPills]

5 hours ago, DustyMoon13 said:

Annnnnd it's now 16 weeks at 0mg.

I took a whole lot diazapam last week and oh my goodness it was such a relief.

 

I know it isn't great because it's just a bandaid but just having a few days of actually feeling love for the world was nice.

 

It reminded me of what how I used to feel about every day things. 

I am usually a person who looks to the bright side and I wonder over small every day beauty's.

For the last 16 weeks I have had absolutely zero moments of feeling like that and it is heartwrenching for me.

 

I have been coming back to the site to read the success story's to try and remind myself of what I'm actually doing. 

 

But of course I get mad and sad that this is even having to happen to me.

I get mad at the GP who gave me citalopram in the first place.

I don't even know who he is or what his name was it was so long ago.

 

I've had so many life changes lately and I haven't experienced these changes in my own right mind.

We have moved into our dreamhouse and my brain won't let me feel happy. 

 

When will those little receptors open their doors and let me feel happiness like I know I can.

 

It's so strange actually feeling a single moment of real happiness for 10 seconds.

 But it's not when I'm suppose to be feeling it.

It's like when I'm randomly driving the car or making myself some lunch.

And then it's gone again. 

 

But of course the crushing feeling of despair seems to have made itself its own little cubby house with furniture and working lights and probably its own mailbox where it gets eviction letters that never get opened. 

*******.

 

I see my post above about thinking my husband hates me.... Oh wow yep that was the start of that thought train and I can confirm that is now a regular theme that comes along when I'm feeling like ****.

It's my brains favourite chew toy at the moment. 

Oh my poor husband. 

 

So recognizable! 
 

What an achievement that you’re completely off the citalopram now! I wish I was that far, but story’s like yours do help. I think you will only start to feel better from now on, your body is still healing. Good thing that you realize that thoughts about your husband are negative ‘thought trains’ fueled by the withdrawal.

 

Stay strong!

[DustyMoon13]

I am reading my last post and I'm thinking... How could that of been written less that 3 weeks ago? 

It freaks me out how I can't measure time properly at the moment.

 

I feel like that was written months ago.

Right now the days are happier and I feel stronger. 

 

I also feel like I can easily fall.

It's like the moment I notice I am feeling good is the same moment I realise I'm just balancing and there's a 70ft drop behind me and I just have to put one foot out of place to fall back into it.

 

It's okay, I'm okay, things are going okay. 

 

Oh and hormones... Please for the love of God leave me alone.

It's enough to go through withdrawl but then you also have a uterus.

I'm lucky my husband is trying to understand me.

We both know he doesn't understand but the attempt to understand and the comfort he trys to provide is helpful.

 

I say attempt because i cannot physically be comforted and I cannot be emotionally comforted but having somebody stay with me and attempt to comfort me while I momentarily freak out is appreciated after the fact.

After I've calmed down a bit I see the love he is giving me and I am so lucky.