Cornchowder: sertraline / zoloft 50mg for 8 years

[cornchowder]

Hi all, 

 

I’m Corn, 30 yo woman, located in Austin, TX. 

 

After a few months of just reading, finally joined & taking a tentative step into the world of slow tapering. 

 

I’ve been on sertraline 50mg since 2015, put on it while I was in college and suffering from severe depression made worse by the Chicago winter. It did save my life, and I think it was definitely the best choice in the moment. 

 

Fast forward to June 2023 - after going through a year of intensive therapy where I tackled a lot of my childhood trauma, PTSD from a recent loss, and taking better control of my life, I decided to go off of medication. I decided this because I was feeling overall better & more hopeful about my life, and this meant that I noticed more of the emotional blunting effects of sertraline. 

 

I “tapered” (according to the recommendation of my psychiatrist), from 50-> 25mg per month, and then completely off. 

 

Well, you can probably guess what happened from that. About two months after I was on 0mg of zoloft, I started becoming increasingly anxious, severely restless, waking up with my heart pounding, crying spells, hyperviligence, irritation, and severe lack of focus. This worsened over the weeks following, where I was not able to sleep properly, and could not sit still or do any activity required for life. Of course, my psychiatrist did not believe that I was going through withdrawal. 

 

I’m currently on a medical leave from work, and have reinstated my sertraline, slowly going up from 12.5mg to 25, to 50mg over the span of a few weeks. I’m definitely starting to feel more normal, less anxious, etc. But the emotional blunting is also obvious. 

 

During my period of withdrawal hell, I searched all of the internet for stories like mine, and found SA. I read through the scientific papers, especially of Horowitz, and realized that safe discontinuation of psychiatric medication is a problem that the psychiatric medicine community is currently discussing. 

 

I realized that I’m holding onto a lot of internalized mental health stigma, that I wanted to quit my medication as fast as possible to be rid of a “sign of weakness.” I’m grappling with that as I look down the barrel of a multi-year taper. 

 

My side effects on medication aren’t severe, and so I believe I’ll be able to manage a slow taper, especially since I will be returning to work soon. I’m going to wait to stabilize for a few months, and then start a 10% (of previous dose) taper, and see how that sits with my nervous system. I'm heartened, though, that even Mark Horowitz and members of the psychiatric community are affected by this, in just the same way as us layfolk. 

 

My heart goes out to all of you, and the suffering that you’ve all endured, especially the first few who had to figure this out for themselves. I’m tremendously grateful for all the wisdom & support here. It’s given me hope that I can get through this. 

 

tl;dr: 

 

2015: Start 50mg zoloft for severe depression

2023 June: attempts to get off of zoloft, 50 -> 25 -> 0mg

2023 Sep: Terrible withdrawal at the 2 month point.

2023 Oct: Reinstated 50mg zoloft, working up slowly from 12.5mg. Withdrawal ceases. 

Will wait a few months for brain to stabilize, and will attempt a "10% of previous dose" taper. 

 

Thanks everyone, let's go slow and easy together. 

[Emonda]

Welcome to S.A. @cornchowder, and thanks for attending to your signature.

 

Your experience is very familiar to many here, including me. Like you, I searched the internet and found Dr Horowitz and S.A. I can vouch for the effectiveness of the maximum 10% per month (of the previous dose) taper. 

 

You may like to read about the Brassmonkey micro taper. I find it makes the 10% drop more manageable by breaking the 10% up into 4 weekly instalments of 2.5%, before an additional two-week hold: 

 

 

6 hours ago, cornchowder said:

increasingly anxious, severely restless, waking up with my heart pounding, crying spells, hyperviligence, irritation, and severe lack of focus.

 

All classiC WD symptoms. 

 

6 hours ago, cornchowder said:

I’m currently on a medical leave from work, and have reinstated my sertraline, slowly going up from 12.5mg to 25, to 50mg over the span of a few weeks. I’m definitely starting to feel more normal, less anxious, etc.

 

Stability will come with time and patience.

 

6 hours ago, cornchowder said:

I realized that I’m holding onto a lot of internalized mental health stigma, that I wanted to quit my medication as fast as possible to be rid of a “sign of weakness.” I’m grappling with that as I look down the barrel of a multi-year taper. 

 

I can completely relate to this, but you need to take your time....you've worked that out by referring to a multi-year taper. There is no shortcut. Be patient, and you will succeed. 

 

6 hours ago, cornchowder said:

I’m going to wait to stabilize for a few months, and then start a 10% (of previous dose) taper, and see how that sits with my nervous system.

 

Very good to read this. You sound well-informed about the path ahead. You want to be stable for tapering. From memory, I waited around 5 months after 'up-dosing' following a way too fast taper (before I found this site).

 

Once you start your taper, you should expect good days/weeks and not-so-good days/weeks. We refer to this as the Windows and waves pattern of stabilization. Have a read of these non-drug coping strategies to help you on your journey.

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

Avoid alcohol. It's not helpful during the tapering process.

 

Please post any updates here in your thread. It is helpful to keep everything related to your journey in one spot. You are very welcome to jump onto someone else's page and interact with them. The encouragement members give each other on this site is wonderful to see.

 

Sing out with any questions. 

 

Once again, welcome to S.A.

 

Emonda.

[cornchowder]

@Emonda thank you so much for the affirming words & advice! I’ll look more into BrassMonkey taper - I hadn’t been considering it, but it would be nice to cushion the drops somewhat. 
 

My biggest hope is that the slow taper will make the wd symptoms *very* manageable. I’m pretty sure that even a (slow) drop to 25mg would probably help with the emotional blunting effects. 

[Emonda]

Hi @cornchowder,

 

13 hours ago, cornchowder said:

be nice to cushion the drops somewhat

 

That's a good description of what the Brassmonkey slide tries to achieve...cushion the drops.

 

13 hours ago, cornchowder said:

My biggest hope is that the slow taper will make the wd symptoms *very* manageable.

 

Everyone is different, as is their response to tapering. I still very much notice the 2.5% drop each week...especially on days 2,3.. Days 4, 5 & 6, I am back to 'normal'. 

 

We refer to 'WD normal'. You still have symptoms, but they should allow you to go about your regular life. If they don't, consider smaller weekly drops.

 

14 hours ago, cornchowder said:

I’m pretty sure that even a (slow) drop to 25mg would probably help with the emotional blunting effects. 

 

I am at 2.75mg, down from 15mg. Some side effects that bothered me at 15mg have been significantly reduced at, say, 5mg. We are all different; time will tell where you see a benefit.

 

Wishing you well.

 

Emonda. 

[cornchowder]

• Been a week since I reinstated onto 50mg sertraline after a too-rapid taper. Still holding, and planning on holding for several months. 

 

• I'm feeling much more balanced & able to think more rationally, but emotional blunting is much more obvious. However, I feel much better about the idea of a long taper - honestly, the thing I want the most is to reduce the amount of pain in this process. 
• The only thing I feel anxious about is how much I'm losing from life due to my emotional blunting... It's not too bad right now, but feels like the max amount of joy/sadness is capped. I wonder at what dose I'll start to feel more emotion...  I wonder when other members of SA started to feel relief from emotional blunting?
• Spoke to my psychiatrist, who supported the idea of a very slow taper. She was even receptive to reading articles I suggested. She might support me in getting a liquid version or a compounded version, so that's reassuring. I was surprised by how okay she was with the idea of a slow taper... she was even totally fine with the idea of me crushing up the tablets & weighing it out. 
• STILL waiting to get approved for medical leave - It's been nearly 3 weeks, and I still haven't gotten an answer from my work's insurance... T-T how long will they make me waiittt!!! 

Reading through more posts on here, and wishing everyone luck, and patience. Patience, patience, patience.

[cornchowder]

Hi y’all, Corn here. I hope everyone is having a good start to the year! 
 

I was able to get medical leave and stay with my family for a month - much recovered! I’m back on my original dose of 50mg sertraline (since Oct 7), and have been feeling very stable since late November. 

 

I’m thinking of restarting my taper (correctly, of course) again in the new year. Is it too soon to start in January? I’d love some advice on this. 
 

Bittersweet to hear about Adele stepping back! Excited to see where the org will go.  

[Emonda]

Welcome back. I waited 5 months after dropping too quickly, but we are all different.

 

You're almost at 3 months? If so, you could dip your toe in the water with 2.5%, as per Brassmonkey, and see how you respond. This assumes you are feeling pretty good, but you say that in the previous post. 

 

Make notes of your mood as you drop.

 

Remember, it's not a race.

 

Hope this helps.

[cornchowder]

Ooh, okay. I will try in February and report back. Thank you!!