Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 6, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 6, 2015 I remember you talking about that house you went into several years ago, it sounded like a wonderful adventure and with your descriptions I could really visualize the place. Doing it again is really something to look forward to. In a couple of weeks we are taking a road trip along the coast and will be passing trough the giant redwood forests. We drove through them many years ago and it was magical, can't wait to do it again. The size and age of the trees is amazing to the point of over powering. Even the small places can do it though, I had my lunch at the cemetery yesterday and sitting below the old oaks is such a treat. I got to share it with 10 of the squirrels that live there. They are getting friendlier and come to play nearby as I eat. There are too many other things to think about and do, so WD is taking a backseat to life, it is no longer the focus, just another project that needs to be finished and set aside. I am sitting here with tears running down my face, smiling as I watch some beautiful yellow birds in the trees out front as I realize the enormity of what I just typed. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS TO ALL)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 8, 2015 Administrator Share Posted June 8, 2015 Thank you for writing those words, Brass. You're on your way. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
LostInTheWoods Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I'm green with envy at your description of such magnificent sights. Congrats on your advance. Name LostInTheWoods evokes both the feeling of getting stranded, forsaken and alone in an alien, hostile environment and the chance to experience awareness, tranquility and self-discovery during the experience. Just call me Lost in the posts. February 2012. After a crisis, a crippling anxiety that culminated in a panic attack. Started 20 mg Paxil and Clonazepam. Clonazepam left quickly in the 2nd attempt. About about a year on 20 mg, begin tapering. June 2014, after several weeks on 5 mg and trying to dose down, went CT. May 2015.Anxiety came back again, went to psychiatrist back. Fluoxetine was tried and left because of bad reaction, returned to paroxetine. Start tapering in mid 2016. December 2016. After like 2 months of going 2,5 mg, stopped paroxetine. Truth to be told, descended into a downward spiral of caffeine, alcohol and masturbation. January 26, 2017. Wave with some tinnitus that was fixed by a visit to the ENT. April 21, 2017. Acid reflux at night was a stressor that triggered another wave.Vices have been put into check and only a drink or two a week remain. By May 7 stabilized with a little anxiety left and some pains. Link to comment
btdt Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I love the analogy of catharsis and doing the dishes, I'm going to steal that. I think once you have started down the path of personal growth (enlightenment) it is almost impossible to stop moving. No matter what you run into you go through it, over it or around it, and each change in direction adds another layer of development. The only problem with enlightenment is that you can't undo it. Working with energy is fascinating too, and so useful. Have you worked with chakra tuning? No strange cloths, no died hair, I'm a pretty ordinary looking guy. I see a big difference between the "lifestyle goths" and "goth sensibility". Lifestyle goths are the black cloths, hair, music etc. while goth sensibilities are more of an appreciation for the themes, images and sensations. It tends to be a darker side of art, stark, moody, creepy and beautiful at the same time. Currently I am planting a "black garden", all the plants have very dark reddish green foliage that looks black in the shade. Planted together they create a dark but strikingly beautiful scene. I enjoy lunch in the cemetery because it is so quiet and peaceful with lots of interesting shapes in the landscape. Thunderstorms are the ultimate in wild nature. To me it is all about the dark beauty in the world. Too many goths are in it to make a statement of "I'm really different, better watch out for me". For me that is crossing the line from true eccentricity to contrived weirdness. If you want to look it up I would suggest the facebook group "Darker Homes and Gardens". Hope you get a chance to get out pretty soon. I am trying to visualize red green... http://www.livescience.com/17948-red-green-blue-yellow-stunning-colors.html ooo it is a forbidden colour your bad Truth I am bit too tired to take a good look at it sleep is not what it could be. I think graveyards have always had a negative connotation for me... my entire life. Not the monster type negative but the loss type negative... reminder everything I love goes there sooner or later that in itself should be reason to make peace with it all but I haven't. I think I can't go there really people think me mad at times.. for sure .. it took me forever to get back to my mothers gave and when I did .. after a few tears and some heartfelt chatter with my sisters who were with me.. I did the hokey pokey.. yep that is me... bit mad. Crying at her grave did not seem to do my mother justice she had plenty of sorrow in her life but was all about living when she was with us... so I had to commune with her in way fitting to her disposition. Oddly enough my brother who is blind came just at that time with a driver ..first it was guilt in not asking him to come with us but that passed quickly .. he plays the accordion by ear and brought it to play out mother a song... he played amazing grace and snow bird... two songs she liked best. Seems I get stuck on a theme.. here the grave yard theme... I wonder how many days you have to eat lunch there before you see ladies doing the hokey pokey and a blind man playing an accordion while the ladies sing... if you do see it let me know.. perhaps none of use are mad after all Oddly enough this has just changed how I see grave yards... I have never given the memory of it any thought passed living it never thought of it again.. was likely lost in my wd brain till now. Just like that in minute things can change with a bit of awareness. I will come back and read the read green again another time.. bed time... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz glad your doing better. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
chia1214 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Hi brass! Thanks for the hugs on my thread. I caught up on yours. One thing in particular popped out to me: "There are too many other things to think about and do, so WD is taking a backseat to life, it is no longer the focus, just another project that needs to be finished and set aside." That describes where I'm at now. I'm engaged in life, not merely survival of my mind. I'm not even on this site much. though I plan to document my dose drops and maybe make an occasional entry. Feeling a tad bit guilty for not being around, but my time is totally occupied with "other things" and people in my life. I'm even re-connecting with long-dormant relationships. Really, really nice. If you haven't taken your road trip yet, hope it's wonderful. Sometime in the near future, DH and I plan to visit some out west (everywhere's out west for us!) sites. (((((((((((((((((((( Hugs back to you! )))))))))))))))))))) Read my intro here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7569-chia1214-tapering-lamotrigine-maybe-clonazapam-later/#entry110043 1975 Hospitalized and first exposure to psych. drugs age 13-15 Haldol, Tofranil, Cogentin, Thorazine. On and off numerous AD’s & AP’s no records until 2000 2000 Celexa, Clonazepam 1mg – never exceeded 1 mg except occasional emergency use 2004 Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Effexor, recall add-on trials of Lexapro, Prozac, Wellbutrin during this time also 2007 Lithium added, switch Effexor to Pristiq, still on Lamictal (Lamotrigine) Clonazepam. Some cold turkey quits of everything over the years. No knowledge of WD 2011 Lithuim Gabapentin Lunestra, Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Clonazepam 2012 Taken off all but Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Clonazepam, began Zyprexa 2013 Abilify replaced Zyprexa (high lipids) added Wellbutrin, Prozac, Adderall 2014 Discontinued Abilify, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Adderall, added Latuda, Quetiapine, then stopped those. December 2014 Found SA Began slow taper of the only remaining two drugs I'm taking Clonazepam 0 mg Benzo free as of May 30, 2017 Lamotrigine 0 mg as of Jan 7, 2018 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 8, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 8, 2015 You're welcome Alto-- you and this site have been a big part of getting to this point. LITW-- maybe one day you'll get a chance to see them, it is well worth the effort. Chia-- several years ago Monica and I drove the motorhome to Maine and back taking just the scenic back roads, one of the most amazing trips we've ever taken. There s so much beautiful country to see, I hope you enjoy it. BTDT-- google "black Plants" or black garden" and you'll see some of the stuff we have planted. I would love the see a group like that at the cemetery, it sounds like a wonderful celebration of life. It also appeals to my Fellinisque sensibilities. I am glad for your epiphany. It is strange how an off chance or small remark can bring insight. Started the next part of my slide today by dropping to 21mgpw. Rather tired and a bit agro today, but woke up that way so it's not the drop. I really am not a morning person and having to get up early and go to work and put up with chaos and noise really bothers me some days, especially after a nice weekend. Ah well not too much longer. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
btdt Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 I have not watched his movies never heard the word till now.. 2001, Bernard A. Cook, Europe Since 1945: An Encyclopedia [2] "Felliniesque" has come to mean a certain Italian sophistication yet earthiness, a fascination with the bizarre yet a love of simplicity all wrapped in a flamboyant Mediterranean approach to life and art. These films also contain magic moments that transcended realism, and they introduced the world to a certain flamboyant lyricism we now label Felliniesque. 2004, Paco Underhill, Call of the Mall: The Geography of Shopping by the Author of Why We Buy [3] We stop walking a second and look around at the spectacle before us. There's something Felliniesque about a department store cosmetics section. You stand here on a Saturday morning, dressed in the standard mall-casual suburban wardrobe, gazing at a chamber glittering with chandeliers, populated by saleswomen wearing makeup and hair dramatic enough for opening night at La Scala. We do kinda of pride ourselves in doing what is right for us rather than the world around us at some points.. or maybe that is mostly me and I talked them into it with zest by starting first. Saying our mother would not like us here crying... they came with me. My mother once said to me when I was crying ... she cried for wks when my father died and it did not change one thing... so may as well stopped crying. We are different... maybe I don't know and I don't care I just honour what I love. It is interesting how tho I did the acts of the day I never really put the information into the memory bank in any way that would change how gave yards were in my mind... only in memory and reflection did it change. I was on drugs then I feel I was missing some cognitive not so much abilities.. but depth whole areas were missing to me ... reflection was for sure flawed. Before drugs I would go over my day in my bed at night and plan the next day... think thru complex problems I needed to deal with.. all that stopped on drugs... I can recall trying to process as I use to and getting confused like trying to catch a fish I could not hold the information or the entire process was missing... one of the odd things I noticed while drugged... actually after drugged as I knew it was happening while drugged but could not think it thru till I was off drugs a good while... I just did not have the ability to do it. Life can get messy fast when one problem piles on top of the other with no refection or problem solving just forging ahead without direction or mine life got messy I will speak for myself. I don't fancy black plants.. I don't hate them but if I were to choose my garden would never be black. Is that the idea behind green red... really red black? Maybe I am missing the certain cones in my eyes I would not doubt it I can't see pictures that others can those 3 D one forget about it if it is hidden leave it hidden is my idea... too much work I can never see them. Especially when there is better not hidden... that I like. Guess I like easy tired of struggle in anything I want the easy road but it is never around lol. My sister who passed last year had a wall paper that was so very beautiful I named it "celebration of life" same words you used. Seems like it was not even me... none of it seems like it was not my life at all. nothing more to say peace to you WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 10, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 10, 2015 Back when I was in film school we had to watch a lot of movies from all over the world from the beginning of the film industry in the 1890s up to present day. It lead to seeing a lot of very "interesting" films. Fellini is not one of my favorite directors, but he was very influential in the industry and had a very unique style. If you're interested Amarcord and Satyricon are two of his most well know and very good examples of his work. They may not be to everyone's taste, but they are brilliant works. Red/green or red/black very similar in look. In plants there is no such thing as a true black only very dark shades of green, red and purple, that in most light look fairly black. Being a painter I just love looking at the subtleties of the colors and the light. I also happen to love all flowers, any color any type and have a ton of them around the yard, but it is all personal taste. It took several readings of your last post to figure out where your quote left off and you personal comments started. I'm pretty sure it was after La Scala. Any way, that is an AMAZING bit of writing, and I don't want to detract from it by making any analysis, or comments. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
btdt Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Well I could not recall what I wrote and had to read it found lots of mistakes of course as is typical when I get on a roll about something I forget to check myself or it just goes I can't do all the things I use to do my brain does what it can and if I feel like something is important to convey I lose the other bits in my quest .. things are lost.. just like real life eh? Like this experience of taking drugs and losing self.. bits get lost. I look at people sometimes and wonder what it is like to not have a broken consciousness I have vague idea of what it use to feel like ... I miss it. Tho I may find it boring now I am sure if it had not been broken I would be living a completely different life. I do the run on sentences a lot when I get into something on another site I had a favorite heckler I forget his name.. think it was David he was surely well educated and talked in smart talk... what I use to call my scholar friend when he got cornered in a conversation he would pull out the smart talk... I think only those who went to private English schools do it well with the proper accent.. lol... He- my friend called it dancing tho in reality he lost few arguments it was often not a matter of win lose with me but with other men.. I would see it come out. a lot... with me he would called it dancing.. side step here fox trot over there... all in all a lot of things are like dancing. I don't like smart talk but it was mostly with others I did not like it then either but have to admit I did not like most of his men friends either and sometimes it was nice to see them put in their place.. Especially when most of them thought the world was ruled by money and class and I had neither. I am doing it again I get transported and can't get out tho it is a paper box I get stuck there.. rambling and taking you with me. Just peaked out to say that.. David my heckler on the other site would berate me for my mistakes with his smart talk... lol odd thing is my friend died a tragic death 8 months into my wd... I was there for it and it broke my heart completely... broken to bits... So when David comes along loving his Effexor and high as kite talking smart talk... doing his utter best to destroy me.. I found a soft spot for him cause of the smart talk... my heart said this is a creature you know in some way and he is injured.. the universe says lend a hand.. so I did I protected him and kept talking.. lol some days he was almost kind to me ... almost. The site was shut down and I lost him I hope he is well and I hope effexor did not kill him. Telling me you paint... well cmm in the old days that was an aphrodisiac according to my friends if there was an artist in a park of a 1000 men I would find him but you safe and sound I am passed all that now. Truth be told I don't think I ever knew ahead of time.. it was just something that happened a lot.. I seemed to like that sort.. all that changed with drugs too. So there you go so many changes not knowing who you are and aging more everyday.. life is interesting and rambling on about completely unconnected things to strangers on the internet... what has life become.. a strange and utter farce perhaps .. sounds like it.. on the other hand there is some things still alive in me.. tho I may not be sure what they are they want to leap about and connect to things... curious things... new things. For some reason there is a life besides the life most would notice... I find it a bit interesting even as I feel I slip further and further from what "normal" is losing the ability to even care to fake it except in the most dire circumstances... door bell must go... WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 I think I am writing you a book.. of bits of my life Brass yep a book I always said I was going to write about the seedy part of my life as a stripper cause we know sex sell just wish I had had more sex to write about.. guess I will have to make it up. Really I think I am doing therapy... sorry for dumping stuff where it does not belong.. I can't recall what started the conversation my memory is so bad... I think I need to take my fractured self to rest.. before I put my entire life on the internet. wishing you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 12, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 12, 2015 I think there are quite a few good books and "movie of the week" plots scattered through out these threads. I have several friends who are screenwriters, I have been tempted to tell them some of the stuff that has been said here because I really think they could really do something with it. But I don't want to betray the trust we have to maintain to make the site work, sorta like AA. I haven't done any serious painting in many years. Most people think it is a blissful pastime, and it may be for weekend flower painters, but I find it a very wrenching and traumatic experience. I did really like to go sketching in the park, and it never failed to draw at least one young lady who was curious. But that was back when I was single. Darn, work is paging me, got to go. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
btdt Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 We had one artist who use to sketch the dancers in the strip bar. Yes I am sure there are few good plots here and on other wd sites too I can think of a few some are very tragic. Of course the movies always seem to miss the bit about the shooter taking Ads. I use to sketch people at auctions as there are generally some interesting looking people at an auction. passed the time while I was waiting to bid. Odd how I use to love auctions and it would never cross my mind to go to one now... money and no place to put what I bought .. common sense rules.. lol It is very odd how drugs can take away creativity. Motivations may be a big part of that.. I am not quite sure. There are different types of artists.... many some take it very personally others are all style and form... with a hint of personality it takes all kinds to make a wonderful world. I hope you can one day revive your artistic urge. I actually found clay zen like.. with just a hint of struggle I like clay best. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
AliG Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Just wanted to say "hi". I hope you're doing well. I have learned a lot - "black gardens" , and a new word - "Felliniesque". Love to learn new words ! Keep up the good work . It sounds like you're on your way. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Brassmonkey, I am a bit worried that you said I might have hypomania. When does normally depression end? When did your depression end? Why is it so bad with this hypomania? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
btdt Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I think there are quite a few good books and "movie of the week" plots scattered through out these threads. I have several friends who are screenwriters, I have been tempted to tell them some of the stuff that has been said here because I really t"hink they could really do something with it. But I don't want to betray the trust we have to maintain to make the site work, sorta like AA. I haven't done any serious painting in many years. Most people think it is a blissful pastime, and it may be for weekend flower painters, but I find it a very wrenching and traumatic experience. I did really like to go sketching in the park, and it never failed to draw at least one young lady who was curious. But that was back when I was single. Darn, work is paging me, got to go. " I find it a very wrenching and traumatic experience" Birthing is like that messy wrenching and traumatic. How do you feel when it is done? Is it like holding your new baby and cooing? Do you mourn the loss of creating once it is done if your selling I have seen it happen. If I were an artist I doubt I would sell anything unless the buyer loved it more then I did. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Martina23 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Brassmonkey, I had a few more questions on my thread, please could you answer me them, you have quite a lot of experiences, please please ... 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 15, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 15, 2015 I'll take a look Martina. I usually felt drained, exhausted, and depressed for the first few days then it would slowly morph into "Dang, that's pretty good". Artistic expression is often likened to giving birth as it can be a painful, not so pretty business for the artist. I very rarely sell a piece, because everyone is so blatant about trying to lowball the price. I don't ask a lot for a piece, but I'm sure not going to give it away. Starting my third week at 21mgpw. So far it is treating me really well. Had an incredibly stressful weekend. Started out great but ended up with my being cyberbullied by several hundred posts on a Facebook group that I thought was fairly friendly. I am very pleased with how I handled the situation, I've come out only a bit shaken and not particularly angry. the group moderators weren't much help, but I managed to get the situation resolved. Well it's in the past now and will stay there. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
btdt Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Don't ever sell anything if it does not feel right! I know you need storage for this to work. Bullies suck.. sometimes I like a good fight.. truth be told especially if there is some decent outcome often there is but sometimes it is just stupid. I use to be very good at debate before drugs.. I loved it actually. Often I would pick the opposite side of what I believed just to try it on and see how it felt I know I use to get bored.. now I can't find words half the time so tend to stay out of such things. Nice you held your own builds confidence to do such things. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
aberdeen Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Thats a terrible feeling Brass, with the bullying. Sorry you had to go through it. I always have trouble pricing artwork too. I usually feel short changed. Yet i never feel comfortable pricing higher. I once sold a watercolour of a Victorian estate to its owner, He had seen a painting I did of its sister house at an art show and commissoned me to do his. When I delivered the painting he said he would have paid double, and hoped I'd learned a lesson, lol. I was like what? Well pay me more then! It was really weird. Its so subjective, and not really the point. I hate selling for that reason. 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted June 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 21, 2015 brass, hey man.thanks a bunch for stopping over on my thread and reading my update, i appreciate it. and the bonus man-hugs are always appreciated. i'm glad your current cut and subsequent hold is treating you solidly.i hope this is holding true. i'm glad the cyberbullying situation you faced was resolved, and that it was resolved with your maintaining your inner strength. bullying, cyber or otherwise, is horrifying and takes much grace to withstand. good on you, brother.hang in there and thanks again for your words - i like what you write.dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 22, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 22, 2015 Man, it's been a full week since I updated. I think that is a good thing, because there really isn't much to talk about. I am starting the third week of my latest slide and it is treating me pretty well. I am planning on stretching it out an extra week as we will be on the road when I should start the next slide and I don't want to be bothered with making up a bunch of different pills and having keep them all straight. ATM all my symptoms are in the very manageable range. I do have to watch that I don't over extend myself and get too worn down, which is taking some doing as work has really picked up the pace and there are a ton of things to do around the house. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
aberdeen Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 How are things? Hopefully the break means they\ve been going well!! 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
AliG Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 You sound like you're doing so well. I wish I had known to "taper". Just didn't know. Keep up the good work. you sound like you're really getting "there'. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
KittyQ Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Thats a terrible feeling Brass, with the bullying. Sorry you had to go through it. I always have trouble pricing artwork too. I usually feel short changed. Yet i never feel comfortable pricing higher. I once sold a watercolour of a Victorian estate to its owner, He had seen a painting I did of its sister house at an art show and commissoned me to do his. When I delivered the painting he said he would have paid double, and hoped I'd learned a lesson, lol. I was like what? Well pay me more then! It was really weird. Its so subjective, and not really the point. I hate selling for that reason. Just wanted to jump in here and say I HATE SELLING MY ARTWORK, TOO!!!! I've had to...in order to survive and keep my kid fed, but, I always hated it. People always thinking it's okay to get a "deal" out of you. I've lost so many creations that I wish I could have kept. They were all self-portraits in some way...no matter what the subject. And YES, Brass, it's totally gut wrenching at times...to extract some piece of art out of yourself. You/We "know" what we went through and yet....are expected to just hand it over....for any price. Gee, I don't sound bitter or anything....do I? Glad things are going better for you, Brass. It sounds like things are simmering down. KittyQ CT off paxil-April 2009 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 12, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted July 12, 2015 2765 miles, three states, 7 friends visited and 1800 pictures (I'll post some soon) later I am just getting home from a fantastic road trip with Monica. Have to get unpacked and settled back in then I'll get caught up with everyone. We had little to no internet access the whole time so I'm totally out of touch. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
aberdeen Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Nice to have you back Brass and glad you had a good trip! Getting away was probably good for you. 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
AliG Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Curious , as to where you went. My husband and I did a trip, last year , over there, from Australia. I hope you had fun. I'm sure it did you good. You'll have to tell us all about it. I hope for your continued recovery. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 12, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted July 12, 2015 We had a total blast. We started from home in a small suburb east of Los Angeles and drove highway 1 along the coast to visit friends who live in Oregon and Washington, and then back down the coast road again. When ever we travel we try to avoid the big freeways and stick to the "scenic" back roads. Highway 1 stays right on the beach most of the way, except when it is high up on the cliffs looking down on the beach. We went through places you probably have heard of like Carmel, Big Sur, Monterey Bay. Then at times it turns inland to visit the Giant Redwood Trees. Avenue of the Giants is a magical 35 mile drive through trees so big they take your breath away. Along the coast there was amazing surf crashing on the rocks herds of Elephant Seal, Pods of Whales and Dolphins while inland we saw deer, elk and thousands of hawks and eagles. We stopped at Multnomah Falls, at 611 feet the second highest waterfall in Oregon. Then spent several days visiting friends near Portland and other friends on their new horse ranch in Washington. After that we turned around and drove the coast road the other direction which makes it look totally different. We added in a stop at Hearst Castle, stopped to visit more friends in Santa Barbra and finally got home last night. To our delight the "Black Garden" we planted several weeks ago managed to survive the drought conditions with out us there to carefully water it and now we face a mountain of laundry. All in all a wonderful time. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 16, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted July 16, 2015 Started my next slide yesterday by dropping to 1.6mg (20mgpw). Got a little situational anxiety/depression going on hopefully it will resolve itself pretty soon. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
aberdeen Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 So glad you had a nice time. It sounds amazing! I visited Monterey once (for work, so didnt get to see much) and knew that highway looked like a beautiful one to travel some day. I saw Carmel too. I love the ocean. Not something I see much. Hopefully the situational anxiety passes soon. Lots to catch up on at home and work probably isnt helping. Good luck on the slide! 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 17, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted July 17, 2015 Hi Aberdeen-- If you ever get the chance to drive the coast do it. Especially from San Francisco north. Carmel and Big Sur are nice but can't compare to the northern coast and Oregon coast. The situational stuff is easing a bit as we have a plan on how to handle things, now just to ride it out. Work hit right between the eyes on Monday. Nothing I had scheduled for them to do over the break was done which threw my schedule out the window and stuck me with a ton of dirty physical stuff to try and jam out. I'm still sore from it. We were really worried about some of the plants at home drying out, but I had rigged up a small greenhouse on the back patio in the shade and they all survived just fine. This drought thing is being a real pain, everything is turning brown and dying. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
nz11 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Brass just cheering you on with the next drop hopefully it will all be plain sailing from here down Glad you are sticking around too cos i would like to compare notes when you get to 6 months on the other side. Only If thats ok. of course. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 17, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted July 17, 2015 Not a lot of people talk about "life after 0" so I want to try and post some information. Timinjapan use to talk about it a bit, but he's been in the clear for about a year now and doesn't say much. I think it's kinda uncharted territory that we all need to explore and shed some light on. There are plenty of success stories but we need more information on the day to day stuff. There are several of us, Aberdeen and three or four others who will be jumping off at about the same time, it should be interesting. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
AliG Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Hi Brass, congratulations on your "promotion", to Moderator. Your trip sounds great. We started in L.A , and went out to Grand Canyon, up to Mammoth lakes , Yosemite, up to Napa and Sonoma valleys, San Francisco, and then down the coast including Carmel and Monterey, and Santa Barbara. We also went to Hearst Castle. So , it looks like we were in a few of the same places. We loved it. Good luck, with your continued taper. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 18, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted July 18, 2015 Ali -- You hit some beautiful country side, I really love the Grand Canyon, haven't been there in years, need to go again soon. Hearst Castle was amazing, took a ton of pictures. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
chia1214 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Thanks for visiting my thread brass, I made a real mangle of trying to multi-quote over there! So I ran over here to hide, ha ha! I am way over my bed-time, but wanted to say hi before I disappear into my busy and good life again for a while. Multi-hugs back to you! -- Chia Read my intro here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7569-chia1214-tapering-lamotrigine-maybe-clonazapam-later/#entry110043 1975 Hospitalized and first exposure to psych. drugs age 13-15 Haldol, Tofranil, Cogentin, Thorazine. On and off numerous AD’s & AP’s no records until 2000 2000 Celexa, Clonazepam 1mg – never exceeded 1 mg except occasional emergency use 2004 Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Effexor, recall add-on trials of Lexapro, Prozac, Wellbutrin during this time also 2007 Lithium added, switch Effexor to Pristiq, still on Lamictal (Lamotrigine) Clonazepam. Some cold turkey quits of everything over the years. No knowledge of WD 2011 Lithuim Gabapentin Lunestra, Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Clonazepam 2012 Taken off all but Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Clonazepam, began Zyprexa 2013 Abilify replaced Zyprexa (high lipids) added Wellbutrin, Prozac, Adderall 2014 Discontinued Abilify, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Adderall, added Latuda, Quetiapine, then stopped those. December 2014 Found SA Began slow taper of the only remaining two drugs I'm taking Clonazepam 0 mg Benzo free as of May 30, 2017 Lamotrigine 0 mg as of Jan 7, 2018 Link to comment
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