nz11 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Hang in there Brassmonkey. Hope it passes soon. Sounds like that 2mg barrier is a difficult one too. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
GiantsWSC Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Brass thanks for the response and my appologies for the delay on my part. Yeah I agree, that I think the feelings are there I just ned to get past the symptoms of paxil blocking the way. Sorry to hear you are going through a crappy point of your taper but sounds like things are getting better for you as the dose stabilizes. I wouldn't hesitate to stay on it a bit longer if you feel the waves but I'm sure you knew that. I hope to be as strong as yourself once I get down to your levels. Proud of you man! Taken paxil for over 15 years probably closer to 20. Tapering since Oct 2013 from 10mg Gemini 20 scale thanks to BrassMonkey! Oct 6, 2013 9.2 mg Nov 27 8.6mg Feb 2 2014 7.8mg March 16 7.4mg March 30 7.0mg May 18 6.2mg July 6 5.8mg Sept 7 5.4 Oct 19 4.8 Dec 14 4.6 Feb 8th 2015 4.2mg Mar 22 3.8mg May 10 3.4mg July 19 3.2mg Sept 6 2.8mg Nov 8 2.5 mg Dec 27 2.3 Feb 14 2016 2.0 Mar 19 updosed to 2.5mg May 4 2.4 June 12 2.2mg July 31 2.0 Sept 11 1.7mg Nov 13 1.5mg Jan 22 2017 1.3mg Mar 19 1.0mg April 20 0.8 June 0.7 Aug 0.6 Sept 0.5 Oct 0.4 Nov 0.3 Dec too low to weigh so I'm eyeballing it the rest of the way!! 2018 Feb 10 finally stopped !!!!! Keeping fingers crossed!!!!!! Its' 2022 now and feeling good after 4 years of being off Paxil. Continue to stay active with a positive attitude and getting plenty of sun. Current Supplements: Multi-Vitamin, D with occasional K2, C, Super B Complex, Magnesium, Zinc, Fish OIl, Lecithin, E, and probiotics. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 7, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 7, 2015 Hi nz11-- things have settled a lot as the week has progressed. It seems like everyone I run into is having trouble below 2mg. I remember a lot of talk about it back at Prior Place, some people seemed to do fine but a lot ran into trouble, then they bailed at 1mg and had a rough time of it. Haven't seen you around much lately, hope everything is okay. Hey GWSC-- Don't worry about how quickly you respond we all have some pretty extenuating circumstances to cope with. If they are there the feelings will show themselves. Until then keep the communications open and make a few "spontaneous" PDAs even if you don't feel them. An unexpected hug or kiss, hold hands that sort of thing. Go through the motions, but don't go overboard, if you see a situation where you think it might be called for just go for it, it can help shake things up inside and break those feeling loose for you and can help reassure her. Well the WDs had settled a bit for the week, but man am I tired. Been dragging all week. I have noticed a little "cheerfulness" in some of my interactions at work, which have been uncharacteristic for a long time, so something is shaking loose somewhere. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
nz11 Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Brass glad you are feeling better. Just love your term 'Prior Place' ....or pp for short ...just brilliant. Nope i'm still here....Definitely going to be around to cheer you over the finish line. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
katieb Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Well done Tom.Glad your feelings g better. You always give me hope and make me feel better when I read your comments and responses.I am going to drop next week from 1.55ml to 1.53 .I have had very bad muscle pain for the last 3 months in neck back and shoulders hope this drop changes that. Been taking paroxatine for approx 15 years.Tried a few times yo stop but failed. Am currently on 3.5mg liquid Jan 2016 been slow tapering paroxatine and i am currently at 2.9 mg and last drop was 5 weeks ago. Started to feel awful about 3 weeks ago with brain ???? , shakes, blurred vision and dizzyness. .. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 11, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 11, 2015 Well the life casting workshop was a total success. We had six participants and about a dozen watching. Everyone had a great time and we got six good casts made. It was a great end to a very busy week. Didn't get to relax as much as I wanted on Sunday because the plumbing backed up so I was snaking drains all afternoon. Didn't help much got to call the plumbers today. I did get to catch up on my sleep a bit and am planning on taking things as easy as possible this week. Other than that WDnormal is treating me pretty well. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
DLB Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Nice to hear Brass, too bad you are 2,750 miles from me or I would have been right on the plumbing issue for you!! Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg. 1/01/15 - .75 mg. 1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues... 2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me! 3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad! 4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 12, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 12, 2015 Thanks DLB, Yea, a bit too far to make a service call, but thanks for the offer. We did have one of the local companies come out, and they cleared things right up. The plumbing is over fifty yeas old so some problems are to be expected. If we ever get the lead out on the remodel, then I'm going to have them do a full hydroblast and video inspection while we have things torn apart and there is better access, right now there are only two 1.5" cleanouts and a couple of standpipes to work with. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
mustangwoman Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 How are you doing Tom? I haven't been on in a few days. Hope you are feeling better. You are such an inspiration to me! ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) from Tennessee. zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks) Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg, 1/15 10 mg, 3/15 9 mg, 5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg. 4/16 5 mg, 6/16 4.5 mg, 9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17 3.2 mg, 4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17 1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg, 1/18 0.79 mg Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 18, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 18, 2015 Hi MW--thanks for the hugs. I hope your not being around for a few days is because you're feeling pretty good and doing something you like. I was doing pretty well until the middle of last week, then got hit with a really nice cold. Took some time off of work to wait it out. I've spent most of the last five days curled up on my recliner alternately napping and surfing the web and not doing much else. Was feeling pretty good when I got up this morning, but they have decided that I need to run my *** off at work today. ( I was planning on taking it easy, but nnoooo) lol Oh well,it's important stuff for landing a big new contract. Other than that I am starting my last week at 1.7mg. Things haven't been too bad this slide. I have noticed a distinct increase on the tinnitus the past several days, but I think that has a lot to do with the cold. I'm also having a lot of trouble typing ATM. My left hand just doesn't want to respond to what I'm telling it to do, probably has to do with the fact I wacked a big piece out of my left pinkie a couple of hours ago and the bandage makes it all stiff and awkward. All in all not one of my best Mondays. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
chia1214 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Hi brass! Just stopping by to say hello and send some (((((((( hugs! )))))))) Hope your pinkie and your cold are doing better. And the plumbing too! We have to bleach our well again due to high bacteria count. Second do-over in a month. Seemed to spike with the last snow melt. Otherwise we always have good water, great tasting too. I'm actually on a trip for two weeks, starting it off celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary at a swanky hotel with my love. Then I leave him to his work while I go to spend some time with my mother, helping her with some projects and simply spending some time with her. Can hardly believe I'm living again! Here I am in Boston, even rode the "T" for the first time. Had lunch yesterday with my husband's boss and colleagues. Couldn't have imagined doing anything like this even over a month ago even though I have been feeling progressively better. I just never felt up for this level of interaction. It's really surprising me, pleasantly! Now I just hope my scale and calibration weight don't cause a conundrum at airport security! Can't believe I'm flying too! Thanks for letting me share my excitement, I didn't realize how much I had until I started typing. A healthier week to you. -- Chia Read my intro here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7569-chia1214-tapering-lamotrigine-maybe-clonazapam-later/#entry110043 1975 Hospitalized and first exposure to psych. drugs age 13-15 Haldol, Tofranil, Cogentin, Thorazine. On and off numerous AD’s & AP’s no records until 2000 2000 Celexa, Clonazepam 1mg – never exceeded 1 mg except occasional emergency use 2004 Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Effexor, recall add-on trials of Lexapro, Prozac, Wellbutrin during this time also 2007 Lithium added, switch Effexor to Pristiq, still on Lamictal (Lamotrigine) Clonazepam. Some cold turkey quits of everything over the years. No knowledge of WD 2011 Lithuim Gabapentin Lunestra, Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Clonazepam 2012 Taken off all but Lamictal (Lamotrigine), Clonazepam, began Zyprexa 2013 Abilify replaced Zyprexa (high lipids) added Wellbutrin, Prozac, Adderall 2014 Discontinued Abilify, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Adderall, added Latuda, Quetiapine, then stopped those. December 2014 Found SA Began slow taper of the only remaining two drugs I'm taking Clonazepam 0 mg Benzo free as of May 30, 2017 Lamotrigine 0 mg as of Jan 7, 2018 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 19, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 19, 2015 Wow Chia that is exciting, thanks for sharing. It only gets better from here. Congratulations on the 25 years too, now a days that's quite an accomplishment in its self. Haven't been in Boston in ages, last time we were there we go stuck in the tunnel construction in our motor home. Quite the experience. The cold and plumbing are doing fine. The pinkie is going to hurt for a while but it will be another nice scar to add to the collection. I'll have to wait a while to see how it looks before trying to make up a good story for it. Enjoy the time alone with DH and the time with mom, but be careful not to over do things too much. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 20, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 20, 2015 Well that window was slammed shut very nicely thank you. Was shocked awake from a sound sleep about 3:30 this morning by the sound of Monica crashing to the floor. No she was not hurt, just shaken up a bit, while I was scared s' less seeing her lying on the floor with her head against the brass handle of her nightstand. Once I got her up and settled into bed the fear etc. just started to come flooding out. Took about an hour to calm down, and then just lay there the rest of the night listening to the tinnitus, until I had to get up for work. The ringing has backed off a bit, but I have a nice case of neurodepression, agitation and intrusive thoughts going. With any luck it will burn itself out in a few days. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
mustangwoman Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Wow Tom. That sucks! I hope Monica is okay. Your withdrawal is getting a little mean it sounds like. Mine has too. I think I'm going to sit on this dose a while. I hope you and Monica both feel better! zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks) Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg, 1/15 10 mg, 3/15 9 mg, 5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg. 4/16 5 mg, 6/16 4.5 mg, 9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17 3.2 mg, 4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17 1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg, 1/18 0.79 mg Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 20, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 20, 2015 Thanks MW. We are both okay. Going to make some changes to her sleeping pill schedule which should help. The panic wake up has triggered some neurodepression that I am going to have to wade through for a few days, but I've been through that all before many times. Just pissed because the window was being so nice. This low dose WD does not play nice at all. Hopefully a couple of good nights sleep and it will all fall back into place. Hope yours gives up a break. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Chantingjo Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Hi tom That must have been a shock in the night. No wonder that was a trigger for you. You are so good at observing your mood and not getting carried away by the feelings. With me, every time I have a wave I convince myself that this time it is not a wave but you always seem very level headed about your waves. You are doing well with your taper. You will be off this drug in no time Was on Paxil from about 2001 to 2011. Then started a three year taper of 10% every 4 weeks. Went down to 5% drops between 7mg and 5mg as it got tough. Then back to 10% drops and few withdrawal effects below 5mg. At 2.8mg went to 2mg for 2 weeks with no side effects, then 1mg for 2 weeks with no side effects and then off. Last date was 29 December 2014. Reinstated 1mg on 13th march Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 20, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 20, 2015 Hi Jo-- thanks for dropping in. Yea, the shock is what did it. I do think we all tend to hold a lot in even when we think we are doing well, then something pushes it over the edge and it all breaks out. In a way it is good to get it all out, but painful to do so at the time. The not getting carried away by my feelings comes from being a "wimp" at heart. I learned long ago that it is usually less painful to just let things run their course and not worry than to fight things you have no control over. As Howland Owl once said "we have meant the enemy, and they are us". 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
AmyK Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 What a shock. I hope she is ok now. Tom, you will feel better soon. Just let the fear pass. Many hugs! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
AmyK Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 What a shock. I hope she is ok now. Tom, you will feel better soon. Just let the fear pass. Many hugs! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
aberdeen Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Sorry to hear it Brass...I have lots more of that depression stuff in the last few months on and off too. I think we're actually finally removing the drug from us in substantial amounts. Its a good sign really! Hang in there. It'll pass. 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 21, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 21, 2015 Thanks Amy-- Things have settled quite a bit in two days. The tinnitus is being the big thing right now. It is staying on the loud side which is really bothersome. At least the depression has lifted somewhat. Hi Aberdeen-- yea, according to the occupancy charts we are right in the middle of the most sensitive area, any little change in dose makes a big change physically so there is a lot of adjusting to do. It seems to be uncovering things that have been drugged into submission for a long time too. The stuff that was the first to go when we started the drugs is now being the last stuff to surface and in many cases it has been hidden for so long it is hard to recognize what is going on and realize just what it is you're doing. This will be a growing process clear through past the end. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
AliG Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Brassmonkey, I'm just saying Hi. I read your thread and just wanted to acknowledge what you have gone through. I think you're doing awesomely well. Keep up the "fight". Stay strong. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 26, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 26, 2015 Thanks Ali, We are all sharing similar experiences, but in a deeply personal way. Having people drop in and acknowledge that is so helpful, as it is so difficult to talk to outsiders about it. Well the long weekend took me by surprise, I was expecting it next week. Ended up having a great time thought. Things started rough on Friday because I had a dentist apt. for a deep cleaning. Not fun!!! At least he gave me enough pain killers that the entire side of my head went numb. Things are still sore three days later. Anyway, Monica and I are both fans of "black gardens" and have been threatening for years to plant one. So that's what we did. Unexpectedly the local home centers had a bunch of different black plants, either foliage or flowers. We had a great time picking out what to buy and then headed home to plant them under one of our corner trees. Spent most of the weekend playing with it. There are a few pots and such that we need to get but it is really looking very Goth and fabulous. The WDs petty well left me alone the whole time, but I did notice I was sleeping a lot more and deeper all three days. We also started to make plans for a road trip later in the summer, which we haven't done in years. Should be a lot of fun. Started my next slide today. I have to recalculate where I am because I think some "rounding error" has creped into the equations after all these years. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
AmyK Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Tom, your way of writing and bescribing things is so calming. I love that you have plans for the garden, for road trip an such! Keep up the spirit! Hugs!! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
DLB Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Hey brass, just stopping by to say hello and glad to see things are well. Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg. 1/01/15 - .75 mg. 1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues... 2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me! 3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad! 4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. Link to comment
nz11 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Brass all the best for the new drop. Was just wondering this week if you were due for your next drop. That 1mg barrier sure is creeping up. Exciting stuff. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 29, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted May 29, 2015 Totally stoked NZ11. I am looking to take the plunge sometime in late fall. Get the Halloween stuff out of the way and give myself a nice Christmas gift. Big fat bummer!!!!! I just ran some numbers to correct for the rounding error that has crept in over the years and I am not as far along as I thought I was. This latest drop brings me to where I thought I was last time 1.8mg. Also now that I am dropping by 2mgpw (milligram pill weight) total per slide it is going to make the numbers for the active ingredient really strange. It is also mains it so I am gong by a little more than the recommended 10%. I am planning to do this for a couple of more slides then cut back to 1mgpw for the endgame. Just for reference 1mgpw = 0.8mgai as I am still using 40mg tablets. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
aberdeen Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 That sucks alittle Brass. But it will all even out. Im using 10mg tablets, and weigh in grams (no idea why, must have been the default setting and i never paid attention) so my scale weighs out .017g for me at the moment. next dose will be .015g ( I round my drops up.) That will be a "dosage" of 1mg (presumably). I tend to drop every 4- 5 weeks. I think that will put me at coming off at a similar time frame to you! 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 3, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 3, 2015 Well something is going on inside my head (besides the wind blowing through an empty space) Nightmares every night for the past week, some times two or three a night. Not horrible ones, but bad enough to be upsetting. Then today, totally weepy. I know I can be a mush pot at times but this is just silly. I really have to watch what I am thinking about, especially here at work. I have been having intrusive thoughts in the form of a story I start writing and it really sets me off. I even start to well up just thinking about writing the story and not even working on it. It defiantly has something to do with emotions coming back on line so I am not going to fight it, just try and keep it under control. Maybe I'll even make some notes for the story when I'm in a safe place. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
nz11 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 yep those nightmares sure were scary ...they did pass though thank goodness. yep i remember often weeping over nothing people thought i was a nutter i had trouble hiding this at times when in the public arena.....wow ...what a potent poison we have been taking. Do ya reckon 10% may be too fast hereon in?? Gee what a bummer alright about the rounding ...rounding sucks!! Hey i think this insomnia has put me into Brass time. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 3, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 3, 2015 That's quite the time slip 'cause I'm yesterdays news for you. No matter what you'll always be ahead of me, and I'm making no sense. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
btdt Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Well something is going on inside my head (besides the wind blowing through an empty space) Nightmares every night for the past week, some times two or three a night. Not horrible ones, but bad enough to be upsetting. Then today, totally weepy. I know I can be a mush pot at times but this is just silly. I really have to watch what I am thinking about, especially here at work. I have been having intrusive thoughts in the form of a story I start writing and it really sets me off. I even start to well up just thinking about writing the story and not even working on it. It defiantly has something to do with emotions coming back on line so I am not going to fight it, just try and keep it under control. Maybe I'll even make some notes for the story when I'm in a safe place. I am not sure if you generally write stories or if there is something inside that needs to come out or both... I use to write things out too sometimes it was like I said above something needed to be sorted... When I got in over my head once in awhile it is trauma loss or something personal I can't get a handle on... other times it is the drugs or wd process... rather than write at these time I found it helpful to spend a couple of hours in nature with my thoughts. There is something about walking and the movement of trees wind birds whatever the universe offers up as a helper that eases my sad bits out to a more clear picture where it can be soothed by the written word... no matter the cause be it drug induced or not nature really helps me to find ease inside myself. Just an idea maybe it would work for you too... the clue that something other than writing was needed came from this..." find a safe place and write" if whatever you need to write needs a safe place distance from it may be what is needed and some time in nature helps me to process my thoughts to make them page ready ... and no it does not feel like anything is happening that is the beauty of it... it just happens all on its own... later the intensity is gone and I can write and sort things out. If this speaks to you I hope you can find the space for yourself in nature.. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 4, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 4, 2015 Thanks btdt-- Mother Nature has been one of my biggest supporters during this whole ordeal. Although we live in a large suburb of Los Angeles we have a very large wooded hill behind the house which I can just sit and stare at for hours. There is also the bird feeder and garden that provide even close contact. Fridays I only work a half day so I frequently stop for lunch at a small local cemetery (I'm a goth deep inside) it is a super pretty park with tons of oak trees, birds and butterflies. Lately five or six squirrels have been joining me, it is a very pleasant way to end the week. Being at one with nature is when I can truly be in the moment and at peace, at work I have to be "in the moment" but with focus which is totally different. Getting out in the open air, and frequently when watching the night sky, shows me just how unimportant most of the issue are. The perspective is quite calming. "Finding a Safe Place to write" was probably a little melodramatic, I was trying to indicate that the weepiness that is surfacing makes it impossible to steal a bit of time at work to write down thoughts and outlines. Possibly even the living room at home will be too public, may have to retreat to my studio for a while. I've never been comfortable with overt displays of emotion around other people. The past few years I have been writing for the fun of it, I spent many years writing professionally and really enjoy the process when there is no pressure. I have a couple of stories that I think people would like and when the mood strikes I try to add them. It is a spare time thing so progress is very slow. This particular story just seems to be hitting a chord with me (dang, I'm misting up even at the mention of it, there has got to be something there I need to dig into) thinking about lost innocence, keeping dreams alive, maturing without growing up. Hum, that sounds a lot like what we go through with this WD c***. I've never gotten the hang of writing cathartically, that is better left to drawing ad painting for me. I glad you can get out and be at one with nature, it is such a wonderful thing. ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
btdt Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 " thinking about lost innocence, keeping dreams alive, maturing without growing up. Hum, that sounds a lot like what we go through with this WD c***. I've never gotten the hang of writing cathartically, that is better left to drawing ad painting for me." maybe your developing a new verbal expression as a form catharsis I use to be able to reach it not so much now.. I don't dare go there some days... but there are times it needs to be done like the dishes they just pile up otherwise... and stop the progress of maintenance. I read this one time when I was seeking when you cannot grow any further in your situation you will develop vertically ..yes it was one of those metaphysical books.. eastern origin I imagine... can't recall the title.. I went thru that entire section at the library when I was seeking ... enter the power of now and a few others...but that particular book was on energy developing your own energy to heal yourself and using the earth as a grounding source. we develop differently in wd than we would have otherwise stretched and bent in all sorts of ways... is any of it of any serious use I can't say if it is beyond surviving wd .. but doubt that matters is it a different path than what we expected is all I think wd has taught me I am not in control not in the least oddly as soon as I think I am something else slips in there and pulls the ground from under my feet... if there is such a thing as a life lesson perhaps mine will be to release control... and make my way on floating legs.. some how .. or to fly lol maybe I am suppose to learn to fly so I can make my way without ground.. Goth you say I really don't think I know what that is... not really... was busy raising my son and working when it hit .. there are a lot of things a person misses by having a child at 17 but I would never change it.. of course. It seems to me there were some goth type clothing and make up... going on when he was little .. I am not sure of the serious side of "goth" what is your definition? Do you dye your hair and wear eyeliner... if you do your wearing more make up than me and I think I am jealous. Seriously I could look it up but am more interested in what a person who think of themselves as goth has to say about it. As I am a firm believer in if you have not lived it you can't know it no matter what the books says... yes psychiatry taught me a solid lesson. I glad you can get out and be at one with nature, it is such a wonderful thing." I have not been getting out near as much as I did... no car to get to the woods these days or the beach .. I am in a slump when i come out of it I will go walk more I hope as I know I need it. Good luck with the writing. Peace and Hugs back... tears don't always mean pain sometimes they mean the tear level is too high and some need to be siphoned off WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted June 5, 2015 Author Moderator Share Posted June 5, 2015 I love the analogy of catharsis and doing the dishes, I'm going to steal that. I think once you have started down the path of personal growth (enlightenment) it is almost impossible to stop moving. No matter what you run into you go through it, over it or around it, and each change in direction adds another layer of development. The only problem with enlightenment is that you can't undo it. Working with energy is fascinating too, and so useful. Have you worked with chakra tuning? No strange cloths, no died hair, I'm a pretty ordinary looking guy. I see a big difference between the "lifestyle goths" and "goth sensibility". Lifestyle goths are the black cloths, hair, music etc. while goth sensibilities are more of an appreciation for the themes, images and sensations. It tends to be a darker side of art, stark, moody, creepy and beautiful at the same time. Currently I am planting a "black garden", all the plants have very dark reddish green foliage that looks black in the shade. Planted together they create a dark but strikingly beautiful scene. I enjoy lunch in the cemetery because it is so quiet and peaceful with lots of interesting shapes in the landscape. Thunderstorms are the ultimate in wild nature. To me it is all about the dark beauty in the world. Too many goths are in it to make a statement of "I'm really different, better watch out for me". For me that is crossing the line from true eccentricity to contrived weirdness. If you want to look it up I would suggest the facebook group "Darker Homes and Gardens". Hope you get a chance to get out pretty soon. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
aberdeen Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Brass, agree with you about nature. I find it best in an older forest, where these huge trees have stood through just about everything imaginable, and around here that can mean ice storms and 2 feet of snow and terrible cold, but also drought and high heat, lightening, wind storms...its a place of extremes. When Im around things like this I sense that if these old things have survived over 100 years I can somehow survive this test too. Truly it does give you perspective! As for goth, I myself love gothic architecture. Around my regions, we have a farmhouse style called "Ontario Gothic revival cottage", and they are old settler homes that are deceptively large inside yet simple and elegant on the outside. I have always wanted to live in one! Even more fun are the many abandoned ones you can find on back roads. When the anhedonia backs off a bit the urge to sneak inside (empty house of course,lol)with a camera is huge, though the one time I tried I got caught and yelled at,lol. Still, one day when my painting abilities and desire return I know where I'll be starting off. 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
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