☼ Skybert: needs help - delayed onset Lexapro withdrawal

[skybert]

Sigh where did my auto-save go? Oh well. the short version goes like this:

I'm okay now:) Turns out that vaccination. 1mg cut and heavy flu is not the best recipe for a good time. Indeed.

 

-Skybert

[skybert]

Correction 0.1mg not 1mg:P

 

Small update. In a wave again after a few days of feeling better. Gi issues, neuro emotions and depression seems to be the major issues. Frustration about the situation. Just want my life back. Trapped. Bored. 

Nothing to do but wait. 

-Skybert

[skybert]

Hi:)

Anyone got any experience with leaky gut and gut flora repair? I have a suspicion my GI issues might be just that, and trying to remedy that might not be the worst idea ever. I find a lot of info on it all over the place, but it's kind of vague and hard to grasp. I just need kind of a list of foods that is smart to eat right now and recommended supplements like probiotics. I am, and have been gluten free for over a year now. And mostly low carb in general. That helps a lot, but GI issues is still a issue and I want to at least try to fix it or make it better in some way. I do realize that I might not be able to fix anything until the meds are out of my system which might take a couple of years, but I figured it's worth a shot:P

 

Seems like a bad idea to walk around with all of these problems for so long not really not knowing if it could trigger something else later on. Autoimmune disease etc. Or it's just good old WD frightening me and gets me all worked up, and it's all WD related and my stomach is awesome without meds. 

 

Oh and yeah I just had an awesome window:) Today not so much, but that's okay. (sigh)

 

-Skybert

[mammaP]

Hi Skybert, good to see you have a window, hope it stays open for a while for you    There are some excellent topics on diet and probiotics etc in symptoms and self care. The GAPS  diet is good and I think would be great for you if you are already gluten free. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-treatments-diet/

[Pugknows]

Hi Skybert! I have ulcers and recently had my gallbladder removed so I'm the gut expert in the family. I've combed the internet for foods that are good for the gut in WD: organic eggs, broccoli, bananas, almonds, kale, cabbage, oatmeal, whole grains, chicken, fish, butter, all green vegetables, beans, peas, squash, yams, cauliflower, carrots, cucumbers, beets, potatoes, kiwis.

[Pugknows]

Dairy, beef, pork, apples and citrus can be tough on your belly. Everybody I'd different. Steer clear of sugar, caffeine and alcohol if you can.

[skybert]

Thank you mammaP and Pugknows:) I have started trying some changes and see how it plays out. Probably takes a little while before I can tell if there is any improvement.

 

I'm still in a wave I think. Can't really separate waves and windows the same way anymore. I mostly just roll with whatever it is and try to get on with my day. It changes back and forth throughout the day. It's very confusing and weird a lot of the time. I think I'm slowly turning into myself again, but it's really confusing. I experience a lot of low mood and feel really bored at times. Kind of to sick to get my life back on track, but at the same time to healthy to be satisfied with the limited activities I've been doing since I got sick. Feels like I'm kind of trapped in a way and the way I shift back and forth really makes it hard to do much of anything. It's impossible to commit to anything, being robbed of my health all the time. Why oh why can't this crap just be over? It is so freaking hard and insane on so many levels!

 

I actually feel a little better now. It helped to write a little about it. Oh and I did another cut down to 2.55mg

 

-Skybert 

[skybert]

Hi guys:) Doing much better. Working 2 full days a week and handle it pretty good. Starting 3 in august. Emotional flareups happens but not as severe as they used to be. Anxiety pretty much gone. Depression comes and goes but much milder. Feels like a mild form of being on medication, which it is:P Physical pain almost gone. Some minor issues mostly related to IBS, which is much better as well. Occasional "brain hijack" where everything is just out of order and feels like I'm not getting better but it's all bullsh*t! I just try to ignore and keep going like always, like we all do:) The primary withdrawal crash symptoms is probably pretty much done at this point, and I'm now looking at 2.5mg of esctialopram that keeps me the way I am now. I'm microtapering of the 2.5mg and I'm in no rush.

 

Hang in there guys it truly gets better. It all melts away eventually. You are not as powerless as you feel.

All my sympathy to whomever reads this and is struggling right now. I've felt the truly insanely hard depths and hopelessness of WD. Remember it's not you with a fully functional rational brain. It's a brain on it's way to recovery from "medication" use, and whatever nightmare this entails it all leads to getting better eventually even though it does not feel that way all the time (most of the time). Just keep going it's all worth it.

I know you know this, but it can never be said enough! 

 

-Skybert

[skybert]

Hi guys:)

Just a small update. I'm currently in the Philippines for my brothers wedding. I was the best man and had to do everything that comes with that.

Happy to report I did great and handled it all with ease. My stomach is in shockingly good shape and I think it might be the supplement I'm taking to aid it while here.

It probably works somewhat like a probiotic  something called "idoform travel" that seems to do wonders for me. I eat everything I want and feel pretty much okay.

 

Hardly any anxiety, depression, neuro emotions etc. There is something that feels off though. I feel somewhat detached from my emotions. I probably seem fine on the outside but I'm flat on the inside.

I would not go so far as to call it anhedonia. But it's the closest description I can think of. It's been there for quite some time now. I don't swing much. It's just a general mood that's always there now.

Not very happy, but not very sad either. It's just kind of flat all the time. Like a silence after the roller coaster. I'm very happy with my progress but I don't really get that window feeling of content and joy that I used

to during recovery. Like a post WD emptiness or something. Bleh! I dont even know what I'm trying to say here, but I'll post it anyway.

 

-Skybert

[LexAnger]

Hi Skyber,

 

Thanks for updating! Very happy for you for the great achievement!

I see you have been holding long in the past year. Did you find it very helpful?  

 

Lex

[skybert]

Hi LexAnger

I don't even know if I should have reinstated in the first place back in 2013. I was just desperate and threw 3mg at the problem when it was really really bad.

I haven't really touched much since then. I will start tapering when I get home from my vacation. But I'm going really slow. I don't know if it helped to go slow or not.

Probably no way to really know for sure. I just seem to recover more and more either way so I'm not really focusing so much on the the 2.5mg I'm still on.

I could speculate about it all day but there really is no way of knowing. I just figure if I want my body to heal it needs stability and time and that's it.

So I don't mess with my meds much until I feel like my body is ready and/or stagnating.

 

-Skybert

[skybert]

Hi guys just an update. Go ahead and give me a success sticker thing. I am mostly fully recovered. I still got 2mg lex to taper of but i don't really think about it. I will micro taper of it over a long period.

I just bought an apartment and I am working 4 days a week (80%). Life is good for the most part:)

Issues right now is rebuilding my confidence and I easily get stressed out in certain situations. I get anxiety and adrenaline running whenever I need to perform and there is no way to leave the situation. Example: meetings, presentations, parents meeting (I am a preschool teacher) and the likes. I have no fear of "panic attacks" or bodily sensations mimicking that but it makes it really hard to talk and focus. And its hard to hide twitching and stuff so I mostly try to avoid this kind of stuff but I will have to get back to it eventually which worries me somewhat. I hope it will pass with time..oh well.

Neuro-emotions and "hangups" still popup from time to time and still mess with me, but I just go with it and it passes without fail every time and its never long lasting.

Food intolerance is mostly gone and I can eat most things but I am so much more aware of how food plays a big role in how I feel so I mostly eat healthy food just because it just feels so much better. But its nice to be able to indulge some pizza and whatever else I'm craving on a Friday evening without suffering on a floor for 3 days after:P

I am hesitant to workout to much cause of the stress it puts on the body but i got a fairly active job already so I don't worry to much about it. Still won't join people on long skitrips and bikerides though cause I don't really know how I would respond. Dizzy from time to time also happens and sensitive to certain sounds and sights, but much much better.  

 

Whenever I get my nerves in check over these certain situations that trigger the "adrenaline pump" I will be so happy, It is so silly and weird but I just can't help it. Needs a rewire asap:P 

Anyways, so grateful for this site. I ditched my doctor, my therapist and used only this site to get back to myself. It's been hell and then some! But happy to report that we do in fact recover from this madness. And at least for me, a more compassionate, smarter, more grateful and happier me. 

 

Always remember this:

 

"Your brain have been hijacked, don't listen to it.

It will pass.

If you're going through hell, keep going."

 

Distract, distract, distract whenever possible! Personally I used a lot of podcasts and games. Could not always handle it but if not I used to read.

 

-Skybert

[bubble]

It's been so long Sky!

 

It would be wonderful to hear from you!

 

Also, there is this very important survey that may give validation to what we have been through. Every voice matters.

 

In case you missed it here is the link. They are closing it tomorrow: 

 

https://roehamptonpsych.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6gSHZN88sOmHDlr

 

[bubble]

Very happy to hear you're doing better. I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol☼to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[skybert]

Hi there:)

I did the survey. I will come back soon with some updates on my condition, taper etc.

[bubble]

On 9/6/2017 at 1:56 PM, skybert said:

Hi there:)

I did the survey. I will come back soon with some updates on my condition, taper etc.

 

I've been thinking about you for a while and then realised I couldn't remember your nick! But after a while I managed  Hope everything is going well.  Would be great to hear from you!