Northcoastboy: Stopping benzo withdrawal and starting Seroquel withdrawal

[Northcoastboy]

Thanks Bubble

I know now by how much I'm suffering that I will wait however long it takes to settle down.

I am finding it very difficult to stop the thoughts that I'm never going to get better. I am going mad. I need to go and get meds to calm me down blah blah etc etc

How much of this am I creating by my thoughts. Mindfullness is so hard when I feel so ill as well. I know it's the only way to stop them.

Anxiety is now accompanied by whole body shaking hands down to feet, very scary, difficult not to think about it.

 

Sorry to be posting so much!

I am just so damned scared today.

[bubble]

just post as much as you need.

 

I think these are some of the most horrible experiences a human being can go through. But you are enduring it and you will make it. Usually after the worst of the storm, there comes calm. I hope this wave is near its end. Have you been reading about neuroemotions? Are you taking any supplements?some magnesium could be good.

 

You will make it.

[mammaP]

Hi NCB, sorry that you are riding such an awful wave but hang on and it will pass. 

I just read back through your thread and want to echo Rhi....please please please

don't play around with your dose! Do not give in to that temptation to updose or find

a med to help. This wave is most likely worse because you changed your dose a

few times in a short space of time.  You really do need to stabilise for a while before

cutting again. I would advise waiting until you have been reasonably stable for a few

months before another cut.  Listen to your body but don't throw the drug out of that

open window! 

[Pokeshaw]

Hi NCB - i have been reading your posts and just wanted to chime in. i am not a moderator. i just identify so much with you and your process

 

- i too am 56 yr young (well not yet but tomorrow i will be!) and I also am a member of AA/Alanon for many yrs. 

- i too played around with dosing for a long time and it wasnt until the last few months that it finally 'sunk in' that i needed to hold for a long time after each cut. 

i now have experienced one 3 month hold and just did a 3% cut - even with that small cut i was out of whack for a couple of weeks and the panic set it but i just stayed thru it.

i plan to hold at this dose for at least 3 months before next cut. i really enjoy the stabilization i feel on the long hold.

 

i used to feel very anxious about getting off the medication but i no longer see it that way. i am more interested in the healing balance so i can live my life. at the rate i'm going, it may take me a couple yrs to be done with this but i dont care about that anymore. one day at a time i am healing and that is the most important thing.   it's like a light went on - and it took Rhi and Bubble and RU and others reminding me and re-minding me over and over and over to HOLD!  Now i can say i have experienced the great relief of a long hold. my cns thanks me!  Yours will too!!

 

good luck ~

 

Pokeshaw in Bklyn

[Northcoastboy]

Thanks Bubble

Read neuro emotions. Good stuff. Just said to wife when I had shakes, "look Im healing" and we laughed. I am trying to see bad thoughts a clouds passing and just thoughts.

 

MammaP

I am honestly. This wave as been so damn high Im not going to forget it. 

 

Pokeshaw

yes it makes so much sense to me when I see it written so clearly and concisely. I'm going nowhere fast! Happy birthday for tomorrow. Its my NA AA 2 year birthday tomorrow. Coincidence or what!

 

Thank you everyone who has helped me in the last few days. I am going to try hard to see these  neuro emotions as healing and let go of the scary thoughts.

[bubble]

Thanks Bubble

Read neuro emotions. Good stuff. Just said to wife when I had shakes, "look Im healing" and we laughed. I am trying to see bad thoughts a clouds passing and just thoughts.

 

 

 

your humour hasn't left you it made me laugh too

 

I really believe you are healing 'cause you are and also think you will not "adjust" meds any time soon. 

[Northcoastboy]

Got some sleep Sunday nights but felt like zero last night.

Constantly falling asleep last night reading to be woken by adrenalin/anxiety.

I think I urinated 15 times in the night. Totally dehydrated by morning. I think is the cortisol.

Feeling sick with fatigue today. Appetite gone. Lost 8lb in 7days. Plenty spare left due to weight gain on this stuff.

 

I get the odd window and feel ok. Can garden and feel ok (I will make it etc)

It doesn't last more than an hour usually and bang another wave.

can't go on etc I might as well die.

Had nasty suicide thought today. I never usually get them, that had me in tears.

 

It's crazy how one minute I think, great I'm ok.

An hour later I'm beaten again.

[Northcoastboy]

Wow that was written in wave.

In window again. Just lay down and deep breathed and slept for 10 minutes :-)

[dalsaan]

Hi NCB

 

You once asked 'why can I sleep when I don't try'. I think this is the key. I don't try to sleep anymore. I challenge myself to relax as much as possible with slow deep breathing, guided meditation where I slowly tense and release each muscle and mindfulness to let go of my thoughts. This, along with magnesium at night and my sleep hypnosis app has reestablished my sleep.

 

At the very least I know that when I am sleepless but focussed on relaxing I feel better in the morning than if I spend all night trying to sleep-that's stressful and exhausting.

 

Dalsaan

[Northcoastboy]

Thank Dalsaan

I understand your advice and thank you.

Coming to the end of another sleepless night and I have tried to let go and relax

I awoke once from sleep with terrible panic attack and lost plot completely. Mind racing etc.

I even get fearful before bed now!

I know what your saying is bang on but fear is winning at the moment:-(

I'm ok if I keep eyes open and deep breath and relax. It's as I'm nodding off I get zaps.

ie, can't stay asleep

[Northcoastboy]

Just did Jon Kabat Zin full body lying scan 30 mins

Felt wired

Breathing ok

Maybe had 6 zaps in the 30 mins of adrenalin maybe as I fell asleep. Wasn't trying to sleep just doing scan.

This mimics what I try to explain above.

I can read and fall asleep within a page.

But wake up with this surge of adrenalin

Sorry for repeating myself!

[Rhiannon]

NCB, I have heard others describe this same pattern with hyperalerting when they begin to fall asleep. I think Gia had a lot of that at some point in her recovery. I've had a few bouts of it over the years but not as frequent or intense as what you're going through right now.

 

It's just autonomic nervous system dysfunction and it will gradually resolve as long as you support your nervous system (keep stimulation and stress to a minimum, stick with gentle exercise only, keep a regular daily schedule, eat a good diet, avoid sugar and caffeine and refined carbs like white flour, avoid computer and TV screens for several hours before bedtime, and get hugs and gentle soothing social support).

[Northcoastboy]

Thanks for help thru this guys.

I think I may have got a name for it.

 

HYPNAGOGIC JERKS or Hypnic jerks for short

it's the same sensation I'm sure most people have felt when falling or tripping as you fall asleep. It's is not known wht this occurs in normal sleepers. Consult google for theories if you like.

 

It can become chronic and constant if person is sleep deprived. Stressed anxious etc. insomnia.......which am/was

 

It's relieved by things Dalsaan and Rhi say above.

 

I did a sleep hypnosis app by Glenn Harrold last night. It's free!

 

Earlier in the evening I had continuously fallen asleep on the sofa again and constantly jerked awake for maybe 3 hours.

 

I did the sleep hypnosis and got eight hours without waking once.

 

Dalsaan Rhi

Maybe you could put this in sleep section so it doesn't get buried. It will be there for those who follow.

Maybe it could be pinned.

 

Thanks again.

[bubble]

I'm so glad you found something that helped you.

 

Maybe you could just copy your experience with this method in a thread we have in the symptoms and self-care section: tips to help sleep: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/

[dalsaan]

8 hrs. That's great!! Keep going with the hypnosis and let us now how you get on

 

Dalsaan

[Northcoastboy]

thanks Bubble will do

Thanks Dalsaan

Yep Actually not feeling 100% headache and very dehydrated. Drinking plenty of water.

A wave of anxiety this morning. Feeling better now. Deep breathing and doing some mindfullness.

Trying to stop the "it worked once it won't work again story in my head!" Re hypnosis.

 

In AA they say' "if you talked to me, like I talk to me, I'd punch you":-)

[dalsaan]

In AA they say' "if you talked to me, like I talk to me, I'd punch you":-).

 

Ha. I love that Thanks for sharing

 

D

[Northcoastboy]

So do I. And it's so damned true.

Why do we do it?

[Northcoastboy]

This a great book to read.

 

Recovery and Renewal

by Baylissa Frederich

Your essential guide to overcoming dependence and withdrawal from sleeping spills benzo tranquillisers and anti depressants.

She is in recovery herself from a benzo

 

There is a great video clip of her on Cep.org website

[Northcoastboy]

Hi all.

I was on here in 2014 and got very ill from CT from Citalopram

I spent the next year slowly recovering

My question is this;

Tapered down to 3.5 mgs Diazepam from 20mgs, see sig below.

 

Plan to hold at 2 mgs when I finally get there at Christmas time this year?

 

Hold for a couple of months (or longer if suggested) and start taper off Seroquel.

I am pre diabetic despite eating a good fresh food diet, no sugar or bread (can be caused by Seroquel)

Large distended belly, maybe caused by benzo, Mirtazapine or Seroquel

 

Finish benzo taper after Seroquel withdrawal.

 

I hate being on Seroquel and don't mind being on 2 mgs diazepam until off Seroquel

Seroquel is a fairly toxic drug.

It served its purpose and I now hate being on it.

 

Does this sound like a good plan?

[ChessieCat]

Hi Northcoastboy,

 

Each member has one Intro/Update topic so I have merged your newer topic with the original.  This keeps your history in one place for both you and other members.

 

Anyway, welcome back.  I'm not able to answer your question or offer suggestions but I'll let the other mods know that you are back and would like some assistance.

[Northcoastboy]

Thanks Chessie.

 

Wow shocking to read where I was back then.

Thankfully recovered but polydrugged.

 

I have learnt my lesson. Slow and steady wins the race.

[Northcoastboy]

Posted this in my intro but got no replies.

 

Any advice gladly welcome

 

Hi all.

I was on here in 2014 and got very ill from CT from Citalopram

I spent the next year slowly recovering

My question is this;

Tapered down to 3.5 mgs Diazepam from 20mgs, see sig below.

 

Plan to hold at 2 mgs when I finally get there at Christmas time this year?

 

Hold for a couple of months (or longer if suggested) and start taper off Seroquel.

I am pre diabetic despite eating a good fresh food diet, no sugar or bread (can be caused by Seroquel)

Large distended belly, maybe caused by benzo, Mirtazapine or Seroquel

 

Finish benzo taper after Seroquel withdrawal.

 

I hate being on Seroquel and don't mind being on 2 mgs diazepam until off Seroquel

Seroquel is a fairly toxic drug.

It served its purpose and I now hate being on it.

 

Does this sound like a good plan?

[Altostrata]

Northcoastboy, I moved your post here. Responding to it would go off-topic in the Tapering forum.

 

When did you go off citalopram? Did you have any withdrawal symptoms from that? Are you having any withdrawal symptoms tapering Valium?

 

Are you taking Seroquel for sleep? How long have you been taking it?

 

Why do you choose to taper Valium before Seroquel, given that you're pre-diabetic?

[Northcoastboy]

Hi Alto

Thanks for answering. Very much appreciated.

 

Exact dates are a bit blurred.

Last dose of Citalopram about May 2014.

Withdrawal symptoms were chronic.

Insomnia, suicidal ideation, couldn't eat, couldn't sit still due to anxiety, cried daily for about a year. Offered psyche bed but stayed at home.

 

Seroquel was given for resistant depression. Not responding to AD.

 

Valium withdrawal was tough doing cut and hold. Since switching to liquid diazepam I have been ok.

Some weird nerve tingling, tinnitus, back spasms. Some dr and dp but gone now.

Fingers crossed the lower I go the better I feel.

Practice mindfulness daily and eat really well trying to keep blood glucose levels under control.

 

Started Valium switch from Ativan due to interdose anxiety.

 

Crying stopped as soon as Ativan stopped. Anxiety also stopped.

 

Dr did not mention stopping Seroquel first.

Having trouble controlling my body temp on any exertion.

Seroquel side effect!

 

I am self diagnosed pre diabetic.

Controlled with diet.

[Altostrata]

When you say "resistant depression," you mean the withdrawal syndrome from going off citalopram?

 

Given the adverse effects from Seroquel, if I were you, I'd consider holding on tapering the Valium and start tapering Seroquel instead.

 

See Tips for tapering off Seroquel (quetiapine)

 

What times of day do you take your drugs?

[Northcoastboy]

Yes I agree. No longer see psyche dr who made diagnosis.

I did go to a dark place though. Couldn't function at all.

But have discussed the fact that I was not clinically depressed but suffering from Post Acute Withdrawal syndrome with my GP.

Dr who didn't warn me about quitting Citalopram has retired.

Any way, water under the bridge.

Can't be undone.

Has made me far more caring and compassionate, particularly for those suffering mental health issues.

I have learnt my lesson and slowly tapering Valium.

 

Mirtazapine and Seroquel at bedtime.

Currently 2 mgs Valium am and 1.3 mgs pm.

Sertraline 50 mgs am

 

I am on 150mgs XL. Seroquel

 

I have read the instructions on Seroquel withdrawal.

 

Just a bit worried about how to switch.

 

I presume 100 mgs XL and 50 immediate release and then 10% withdrawal.

Would I take 25 mgs immediate release am and 25 mgs pm for a week or so.

Concerned it may knock me out.

 

One thing I forgot was;

Twice I was rushed to hospital during withdrawal from Citalopram with heart rate of 220 bpm.

Happened five times in total.

On beta blocker. Touch wood, not happened in over a year.

Hence my slow taper.

[brassmonkey]

Hi Northcoastboy-- Would you please update your signature so we can have an accurate view of what you're currently taking.

 

The Brassmonkey Slide is not a micro-taper as such, it's more a method of spreading a taper over several weeks to minimize the symptoms caused by a single 10% drop.  The 10% isn't hard and fast some people are using it to do 5% drops and some as low at 1%.  So it can be adjusted to fit a lot of situations.

[Northcoastboy]

Thank you. A bit of a delay in posting I know!!

 

I have successfully tapered off 20 mgs valium.

The beginning of taper dropping 2mgs at a time cut and hold was rough to say the least.

I switched to daily liquid micro taper at 15mgs and things became easier.

I was warned that at lower doses things would become difficult again.

That never happened and as I got lower my symptoms melted away.

 

At about 3 weeks post jump I feel ok.

Some stomach problems.

A bit moody and quick to anger. Better today with mindfulness and stress reduction.

Odd headache.

 

I plan to post my Seroquel taper here as I have found a lack of Seroquel tapers online.

I did my benzo taper over on benzo buddies.

Any body can point me to a seroquel taper here, I would be grateful.

I have read Sheps!

 

How long do people think I should wait before I start my Seroquel taper

[Northcoastboy]

Bump!

 

Any advice as to above post please!!!!

[ChessieCat]

Here is the link:  Tips for tapering off Seroquel (quetiapine)

 

I've added Seroquel as a tag, and quetiapine was there already.  If you click on them (top left just under the topic title) it will bring up members' topics which have the same tag.

 

My thought is that it might be worthwhile holding for between 2-3 months and give yourself a good chance to stabilise before starting your next taper.  It is better to hold for a bit longer than to try and drop too soon.  Also you might consider dropping by a smaller amount than 10%, eg 5% to see how you go.

 

BTW congratulations on getting of the valium!

[Northcoastboy]

Thank you.

[Northcoastboy]

I have spent many, many hours searching for stories of anti psychotic withdraw/tapers with little or no success.

There are few on this site and mentions of AS tapers on Benzo buddies.

Compared to the many thousands of stories of Antidepressant and Benzo post acute withdrawal stories including my own.

 

My conclusion is either people don't get off anti psychotics or the withdraw is not as acute as mentioned above.

Insomnia being the symptom most complained of, this usually occurs at low doses.

 

Is this a fair summary.

[Northcoastboy]

Bump!

[Madeleine]

I'm tapering zyprexa, an anti psychotic, an others on this toronto are too. Do a search on this site using keywords such as seroquel, zyprexa and anti psychotics and you will find others here in same boat and I know there is at least 1 success story I read in that section

 

My taper is going okay. It can be done.

[Shep]

Hi, Northcoastboy.

 

Yes, as Madeleine posted, there are others.

 

If you go through the success stories, you may find quite a number of people who were on antipsychotics not only after being labeled with a psychotic disorder, but also as adjunct drugs prescribed for sleep, anxiety, etc. Here's one and I'm sure you can find others who have antipsychotics listed in their signatures:

 

Alex Turning the corner at 4 and a half years

 

GiaK survived every type of psych drug out there:

 

GiaK Radical, Transformative Healing of Body/Mind/Spirit

 

I wouldn't get too overwhelmed by the concept of the antipsychotic being the worst psych drug out there. That really depends on your symptoms. For some people, coming off benzos can be harder. For others, the SSRI and benzo combination is the hardest. 

 

And don't forget the Personal Stories  on the Mad in America site. Here's a good one:

 

Surviving and Thriving After a Diagnosis of Schizophrenia

 

And there are many, many people who come off these drugs that we never hear from because they are out living their lives. 

 

And one day, you can add your own story to the success stories.