Jump to content
schizor

☼ schizor: can the brain recover from antipsychotics?

Recommended Posts

Petunia

Malf,

Please would you start an introduction topic for yourself in the  Introductions and updates  section so that we can learn more about you and your recovery process.


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
leticiaa

schizor, u gave me hope that i will be ok someday, like u. I had same problems, although i was on antipsihotic more time then you (i was on leponex (klopin, Klozapin, azaleptin) for 3 years)


march -june 2011 - Risperidone 4 mg 0 + 0 + 1; Prozak 20 mg 1 + 0 + 0

june 2011 - Risperidone 3 mg  0 + 0 + 1 ; Zoloft 50 mg 1/2 + 0 + 0

july 2011  - Risperidone 3 mg  0 + 0 + 1;  Zoloft 50 mg 1 + 0 + 0

September 2011  Clozapine 25 mg 0 + 0 + 1/2;  Zoloft 50 mg 1 + 0 + 0

November 2011  - January 2012   Clozapine 25 mg 0 + 0 + 1; Zoloft 50 mg 1 + 0 + 0

February 2012 -   Clozapine 25 mg 1/2 + 0 + 1; Zoloft 50 mg 1/2 + 0 + 0

March 2012 - november 2012;   Clozapine 25 mg 1/2 + 1/2 + 1.5;  Zoloft 50 mg 1 + 0 + 0

December 2012   Clozapine 25 mg 1/2 + 0 + 1 Zoloft 50 mg 1 + 0 + 0

November 2013 Clozapine 25 mg 0 + 0 + 1/2;  Velahibine 50 mg 1/2 + 0 + 0      

November 2014 - October 2015 Citalopram 20 mg  2 + 0 + 0

When i remmeber the rest i will add, i stoped with all medications in august 2016.

Suplements i m using now:  fish oil and magnesium, Vitamin c, selenium, b6, Coq10, full spectrum

Share this post


Link to post
servadei

This thread is amazing!! That one day when you just wrote you feel good and how your tone in posts revolved... amazing.


CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

Share this post


Link to post
Martina23

Schizor, I like your thread very much. Even if I dont know if OCD can also recover, your recovery is giving me hope.


05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Share this post


Link to post
Offeverything27

Hey schizor. Did you have pssd during this process?


Weaned off Effexor XR 75mg after one year of use

 

I'm experiencing the most debilitating symptoms ever imaginable

-pssd

-Emotional Numbness

 

Last dose was in august '15 after  weaning off for 6 months

Share this post


Link to post
Destroyed

I cant take this anymore.My parents are going to force me to go to a psychiatrist if I dont get better in 1 month.More pills? Great! I would rather kill myself.

Im off all drugs but my psych said hes got a form that can enforce more medication.  I told him I will kill myself than go back on that poisonous filth or run away to the seaside.   Im the same as you, I lost my personality.


May 2012 Olanzapine and other anti depressants. Don't know what they were.  Sertraline, Flupentixol, Sodium Valporate, Depixol, Lithium, Piportal, Mirtazapine, Lamotrogine, Venlafaxine, Respirodol ECT x 7. Don't know the dates of any of these medications because I can't remember and I have no idea of the doses either. Am no longer on any meds. Take Cod liver oil, Omega 3, B1, Sepia. Still in rehab under section 3 in the UK.   I have access to my phone and the house phone and email.

 

Symptoms 110bpm, memory loss, severe anhedonia, no motivation, poor sleep, loss of hobbies and interests including music.  Things that have come back are appetite and feeling the cold and my muscles.

 

Nothings gonna hurt me with my eyes shut, I can see through them, I can see through them - Years and Years 2015

Share this post


Link to post
dalsaan

Destroyed,

 

If you take the time to read through all of Schizor's thread you will see that he recovered. He is a success, someone to be inspired by. Quoting an old, outdated post and then saying you are the same is not just untrue, it is actually dismissive of Schizor's experience and disrespectful of his thread as a record of his journey.

 

Dalsaan


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

Share this post


Link to post
LucaDiProspero

hey schizor how are things going for you?


March 2010/ October 2010:

Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day

October 2010/ 1st November 2014:

Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)

Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.

Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.

Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.

Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.

 

 

I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

I know this thread brings hope to some of you but you have to know the truth.

I did feel wonderful for a couple of months and I tought I have recovered but actually it was a begining of a hypomanic episode. After a while I started to act weird, talk fast and was very agitated but I did not realise it at that time. I dont know and Im not sure if this was in fact caused by withdrawal, I might actually have some kind of mood disorder. I am now at stage one, but without the akathisia. Anhedonia came back with full force along with intense fear in the early mornings. Im so confused right now


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
legan

Hey schizor,

 

Your thread gave me hope . In fact i laughed alot when you started feel better as theres hope and i will recover .

 

I got to tell you something . I think its not withdrawal though i cant judge . But me , before used alcohol or psychatrist drugs In age 18 i was like in hypo manic state . Talk fast .act wired and agitated .i think this is my real personallity . May be its affected by smoking ciggaretes since age 12 .

 

Sonce when you felt that ?

 

Please tell us how things are going ?


Alcohol for 10 years then benzo for 6 months to help with alcohol then psychosis , and took esctiolpram 20 mg and sulipride 200 mg . quit date 17 -12 -2015

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

There is hope you will recover. I dont know what happend to me, still trying to figure it out.
I didnt feel something was wrong with me when I was hypomanic. It was only after I came out of the manic state that I have realised it.

Im now very depressed and don't know what to do. I was basically feeling fine last year but after the summer became very agitated and euphoric after which i crushed in depression. I was drug free for a year, can withdrawal cause this big mood changes?


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
lanah

I think so. I also do not believe you can "just have a mood disorder" 
More and more proof is getting that toxins are causing these types of things. If it isn't withdrawal then you could be eating the wrong things, have some sort of neurotoxin in your house, 
your gut could be out of whack (did you do a test for it?) 
If you ask a psychiatrist what causes psychoses they are unsure. You could be in a massive wave. Do you see any change at all? 


Several ssri's, antipsychotics, opiads and benzo's since 2003.

Flurazepam: rapid taper after 6 weeks usage in beginning of march 2015

Trazodone: rapid taper from 50ms to 0mgs end of july 2015

Current medication:12 mgs seroquel (from 25mgs)

Share this post


Link to post
lanah

Also were you still living a clean life? (no alcohol, caffein, sugar,...) ?


Several ssri's, antipsychotics, opiads and benzo's since 2003.

Flurazepam: rapid taper after 6 weeks usage in beginning of march 2015

Trazodone: rapid taper from 50ms to 0mgs end of july 2015

Current medication:12 mgs seroquel (from 25mgs)

Share this post


Link to post
Petunia

Thanks for coming back to update schizor, I'm sorry to hear that you have had a return of symptoms recently. It sounds like you are confused about what may be happening.

 

After someone has recovered from withdrawal, the nervous system can remain vulnerable for several years and waves of symptoms can be triggered by various things like increased stress, over doing things, drugs, alcohol, lack of sleep, poor diet, not taking care of yourself properly.

 

You wrote that you were hypomanic, but that's a diagnostic term, maybe you were just happy to be feeling so well again and had a lot of energy and wanted to make up for lost time, perhaps you were doing things your nervous system wasn't quite ready to handle?

 

I've really overdone things when I've had windows and then have crashed badly. Perhaps if you could tell us a little more about what you have been doing since you recovered, we might be able to help you sort out what's going on.

 

Are you on any medications now?


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

Im not on medication. Yestarday I tried some 5htp and l-tyrosine but it does nothing. No alcohol,no caffein,some sugar, like chocolate.

 

I know that I was manic because the things I did were not normal like talking really really fast, breaking things and being agressive towards friends and family. It was not as severe as my first psychotic episode which I believe was triggered by someone lacing my drink but it was still bad. I dont know what caused it. I wish I knew. I dont want to go to psychiatrist so I can just be trown random pills at. I freaking dont. I have to find what is causing this. Im really scared and confused


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
ang

Thanks for your posts Schizor......................    if you manage ok with the mania, it will pass.

 

We are all different................ yes, we think we are well, then dives are harder, but shorter! ...............  They get less, and less,    so glad you recognise you dont want a psychiatrist!!!!!!    Ride the waves................... ignore the psychs........

 

 

Seems like the time you are well enough to stop judging your moods,  we all have these sorts of days, pre med...........................  I never took a med of any sort until age 35,      what a mistake that was!  Your reactions, are normal....  you have no idea what was in the food, the drink, anything............  could be damn MSG, or anything.................?


1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

Share this post


Link to post
lanah

Chocolate triggers awful waves for me. I used to eat one tiny piece of chocolate every night because it calmed me down and made me sleep until one day I was in hell again. Then I understood that the fact that the chocolate made me sleep was not a good sign. So I'm avoiding all sugar now. It's not worth it. 


Several ssri's, antipsychotics, opiads and benzo's since 2003.

Flurazepam: rapid taper after 6 weeks usage in beginning of march 2015

Trazodone: rapid taper from 50ms to 0mgs end of july 2015

Current medication:12 mgs seroquel (from 25mgs)

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

I am feeling terrible. Depression is getting worse and every night I have this overwhelming fear in my stomach that only lets me sleep for a couple of hours. I'm currently seeing a traditional Chinese medicine doctor and doing acupuncture but so far no effect. I don't know what to do. I went to see a psychiatrist and she proposed I go inpatient but I refused. I'm currently on no meds and have been med free since approximate two years. Are there any alternatives out there?


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
Petunia

Its hard to know what's going on, and I'm so sorry you're feeling bad again, my guess is if you give yourself more time, you will eventually get back to your normal self again, like you did before.

 

I did feel wonderful for a couple of months and I tought I have recovered ....

 

This may have been a window rather than full recovery your nervous system may still have been quite sensitive.

 

Besides chocolate, can you think of anything else you were doing which may have increased stress and caused your nervous system to become destabilized again? What was your lifestyle like? Did you have a regular routine, good sleep hygiene, regular exercise?

 

During my last window I was sure I was fully recovered and did too much. I also started having a little caffeine, less sleep and was doing too much activity and I ended up back in a bad wave. Just like you, at the time, I didn't realize anything was wrong, but looking back I can see I was acting a bit manic, although I don't see it in that medical kind of way, to me it was that I suddenly had more energy and enthusiasm and wanted to make the most of it, which is natural after not feeling well for so long.

 

Your first episode was most likely caused by the laced drink, and you probably would have recovered just fine without medication, but 6 months of psyche meds, followed by a CT has most likely caused some changes in your brain and nervous system which may take a little more time to bounce back fully from. You felt good for 2 months, so that's proof that you can experience normal, perhaps this is like a pendulum swinging from side to side a few times before it finally comes to rest in the middle at a balanced place.

 

Its your decision if you want to go the psychiatry route again, knowing that all they really have to offer is drugs, for me, that would be the last resort, I'd give it more time and go back to the basics of extreme self care, including improving diet and cutting out sugar and chocolate.

 

Have a look through the sleep topics for some ideas for getting your sleep back on track:  Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Fresh

Hi schizor ,  can you tell us a bit more about how long the episode of hypomanic behaviors went for?

 

It's very common after an upswing in symptoms , whatever they were triggered by , to have a corresponding downswing.

Instead of feeling upbeat , chatty , enthusiastic etc , the feelings of depression , fear and hopelessness take over.

Using the analogy of a wave , the hypomanic feeling is like the peak , the depression the trough.

 

As you sit it out , the depression will lift and homeostasis will return.  

 

Are you taking any supplements from the Chinese doctor?   If your symptoms changed after starting any new supplement

or remedy , I'd stop taking it.  It may have triggered this episode.

 

The other standards are magnesium and melatonin - are you taking either of them?

Please start magnesium , your organs need it even if you don't notice any relaxing effect.

 

bw , Fresh


1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Share this post


Link to post
KarenB

Hey Schizor,

 

How many nights have you been having this new trouble sleeping? 

 

It may in fact be another wave as your CNS does some more stabilising and healing.  I can only imagine how distressing this is for you.  I agree with Petunia and Fresh that it will probably pass given some time.

 

Hooking back into some very focused self-care would seem a much better option than the drug-path again. 

 

Do you have a counselor with whom you can talk some of this over with?  See if you can find a way to settle those fearful feelings? 

 

So many things can cause us difficulties that we may not even think of.  For instance, it has been documented that some people experience trauma responses each year at the same time of year that they had the original trauma.  Not saying this is what's happening with you, but just wanting to point out the complexities of people as they heal.

 

I think with time and care you will continue to heal; it's just a matter of getting past these difficult spots along the way. 

 

Please keep letting us know how you're doing,

Karen


2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Share this post


Link to post
Altostrata

Very good suggestion, KarenB.

 

schizor, can you work on your sleep? Some people are very sensitive to lack of sleep, it can trigger all kinds of symptoms.

 

Can you turn off all the lights at nightfall and go to bed at 10 p.m. every night?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

Petunia, when I felt recovered I did have a healthy livestyle and cant remember anything that might have triggered it. Unfortunately I did not realise at that time that I was acting manic and I was very very confrontational with friends and family and I had these grandiose delusions that I was going to become rich and famous. After all this settled down, I now feel worthless and guilty, Im afraid to leave the house, I dont any good emotions and spend a lot of time in bed.

 

Fresh, the hypomanic episode went for seven months and its worst point was in May when I broke stuff and yeld at my friends for nothing.In my "normal" state, I would of never did anything like that. Im taking melatonin but not magnesium.

 

KarenB, these nights started in December and countinie to get worse. The absolute terror I go every night is unbearable. Yestarday I even took half of bromazepam because I could not stand it. I dont think that a counselor will be of any help.

 

 

Alto, I will try that. Strange but around the time when the sun goes down usually my anxiety also decreases only to increase again in 3 in the morning.

 

 

I want to believe that all this was caused by the drugs but I dont know anymore. I cant stand this.
 The psychiatrist I went to said I have bipolar 1.Is there anyone here labeled bipolar? Please, I need to talk to them on how are coping


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
KarenB

Hey Schizor,

 

Sorry to hear things are continuing to be so hard for you.  Is there anyone in your life you trust who you can be in contact with during this time?  Any on-the-ground support?  The most reliable way to find healing is through connections and relationships, but of course you are the one who knows how things are in your life, and you'll have the best instincts about what you need to do. 

 

Something for you to take into consideration is that there is now a pattern of people being being (mis)diagnosed bipolar once their systems are destabilised by SSRIs.  In particular the withdrawal symptoms of depression and high/manic feelings seem to confuse doctors.  This is documented in the book Anatomy of an Epidemic.   You might like to read some discussion about it in http://survivinganti...r-drug-effects/

 

It is also documented in that book that in all cases, those who were never medicated, or least medicated, had the best long-term outcomes and quality of life.  I recommend you read the book.  Drugs are offered like some magical wand, and I do know how tempting it is to reach for them (that's why I'm here too!) but if you look to other ways of healing you'll eventually be better off.

 

Have you considered Fresh's idea of starting magnesium?  Right now it's worth giving yourself all the goodness you can.

 

Hugs,

Karen


2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Share this post


Link to post
InvisibleUnless

hey schizor.  i havent been around on here much, but i caught up on the second half of your thread right now and i wanted to specifically mention that you are describing a lot of symptoms i have had from antipsychotic withdrawal.

 

i never had any diagnosis including mania, but i was always an energetic sort of person and my primary issue earning my medications was anxiety.  i feel that those preceding architectural traits probably had some influence over my withdrawal experience.

 

i cannot say whether or not you have a 'mood disorder' or are just dealing with more withdrawal shite.  but, frankly, a psychiatrist or other doctor could probably not sort that out very objectively or helpfully, either.  perhaps someone with clinical psychiatric and psychological training with extensive experience in withdrawal patients would be able to contribute more meaningfully...but unless you see someone like that, i would be very wary of labels being slapped on you, much less by people who cannot know the full extent of withdrawal possibilities.

 

i did a lot of embarrassing stuff when i was feeling hypomanic and delusional during the first 1-2+ years of my antipsychotic withdrawal.  i felt kind of ashamed or weird afterwards, but i came to accept that i was just dealing with something other people would either understand or not.  seeing a therapist might not make the symptoms any better, but it can be nice to have an ally that sits with you through it all, and perhaps helps you feel more sane in how you deal with things.  they may or may not offer a grounding perspective, but having the opportunity to share with someone in a constructive and intimate environment might give you more strength.

 

one of the most important things i have found for my own recovery is a positivity of mind.  i dont have to feel great or have great impulses to treat myself well, or imagine good things.  sometimes it is a rage attack, and i want to just throw things all over and give up on everything in life.  sometimes i want to hate myself and all of existence.  it is all sudden, irrational, overwhelming.  it can saturate everything you perceive.  but if you make a commitment to yourself, to irrationally consider yourself in a positive manner instead, it can be a pretty powerful way to cope and to progress in a way that does not depend on withdrawal symptoms being intense or diminished to get you someplace better.

 

i dont know what what work best for you, but i do hope you find some peace.


from 2005-2012, i spent 7 years taking 17 different psychotropic medications covering several classes.  i would be taking 3-7 medications at a time, and 6 out of the 17 medications listed below were maxed or overmaxed in clinical dosage before i moved on to trying the next unhelpful cocktail.
 
antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, tetracyclics): zoloft, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro, prozac, cymbalta, remeron
antipsychotics (atypical): abilify, zyprexa, risperdal, geodon
sleep aids (benzos, off-label antidepressants & antipsychotics, hypnotics): seroquel, temazepam, trazodone, ambien
anxiolytics: buspar
anticonvulsants: topamax
 
i tapered off all psychotropics from late 2011 through early 2013, one by one.  since quitting, ive been cycling through severe, disabling withdrawal symptoms spanning the gamut of the serious, less serious, and rather worrisome side effects of these assorted medications.  previous cross-tapering and medication or dosage changes had also caused undiagnosed withdrawal symptoms.
 
brainpan addlepation

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

This is too much for me


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
KarenB

What's happening for you today Schizor? 


2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

I voluntary comitted myself to a psych ward because I had severe suicidal ideation. Im on depakote now


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
Martina23

Schizor, I am sorry that you suffer so much. Before you were such an inspiration for me. I thought already that you were healed. If I were on your place now, I would just wait now how the things will develop. It is ok if you take medicaments, if you feel that they might help you. You will see how you will feel and then you can decide what you will do further. I had in my life already so many times when I thought this is for me too much, this I cant make, but always there was a way afterwards and sooner or later the problem solved itself, let us hope that this time it will solve itself also. Keep us posted.


05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Share this post


Link to post
KarenB

Schizor, I don't know the details of your situation there, but I'm really glad that you did what you needed to do to keep safe.  Are you back home now? 


2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

Im back home with a mild depression taking depakote.


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
ChessieCat

Hi schizor,

 

Thanks for posting and letting us know that you are home.  I hope you are managing all right.  Take care.

 

PS when you feel up to it could you please update your signature so it remains current.  Thanks.


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 17 Oct 2020:  Pristiq 0.56 mg (compounded + liquid)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Share this post


Link to post
consciousre

I'm glad and sad that this thread is still going. I'm new here. 

Where's Jim24?

His story sounds very similar to mine.

I got put on 6mg of risperidal for less than a year but for longer than six months then got switched to abilify because I couldn't ejaculate and I was getting sore nipples. 

That was when I was 15. I'm 18 now and I don't get proper pleasure from things. Am I just remembering back to when I was a kid and thinking I enjoyed music and other pleasurable activities more back then or am I suffering from anhedonia?

Would you put this down to being on APs or a I suffering from depression? Would you reccomend I go and get prescribed antidepressants? Which ones?

 

 

Love to all. 

Don't know if it's a trigger warning. Very very sorry if this post upsets anyone. I don't mean to. 

Edited by consciousre

Share this post


Link to post
schizor

Why did you get put on risperidal?


9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

Share this post


Link to post
KarenB

Hello Consciousre,

 

Would you like to start a thread for yourself in the Introduction forum, so we can help with your situation there?  I think everyone on this site would encourage you to stay well away from anti-depressants.  The damage they can cause is huge. 

 

What we find is that people heal much better when they work on learning really good self-care.  There's a lot of ideas about that on this thread:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

Welcome to SA - hope to meet you in your own thread soon,

Karen


2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Share this post


Link to post
well

hi there guys,I have the same problem but I think worse,the thing is that I was put on this antipsychotics because I was arguing with my mother,after 3-4 months I feelt the same like schizor,the difference is that I can't think at all,do you think guys this can because of the antipsychotics as well? I don't know what to think because many people say that the pills I was taking it's not so powerfull as the other typical neoroleptics,first I was on haloperidol but everything was okey,outside the thing that I wasn;t able to get angry,but the other things like personality and reaction was still here,I was on it 3 weeks,then when going home they said I need already to take ketilept(seroquel or quetiapine) so I did because was afraid to be again in the that horible place,but things didn't go so good after it,after taking the first pill of ketilept I was feeling somehow depressed,after some more days after the pill I wasn't able to feel the music anymore and after 2 weeks I wake up like I didn't know who I'm,my personality was like gone,I wasn't able to remeber anything from the last year or something from the past,I wasn't able to feel the nature anymore,I was like on some ireal place somehow,and my head was empty,I tried to left them off but after some hours I started to feel a very very big fear and maybe a little agresion after that I wasn't able to left them off,I taked them like a mounth and half after one day when I wasn't able to speak,I went to the personal psychiatric and she gave me instead triftazin,she told me that my emotions will come back from this one,so I left ketilept and taked trifrazin,in the beggining 10 mg but then 5mg because I started to cry all the time so she though because of the dose,after 2-3 weeks I started to feel like my thinking is coming back,so in the beggining I started to feel some euphoria and some thoughts,but didn't feel like old me,this thing was just for 2 days,then I got back on the same **** like I was before,I told that to the her and I don't know why she gave me some more pills,but others,so after that I started to take eglonyl(sulpiride) 300 mg at day and also 5mg of triftazin,and started to feel more stupid  then I was,after 2 and half weeks of sulpiride I left it and also after some more 3 weeks I left triftazin as well,all the taked antipsychotics in total was like 4 mounths,I was on 200 mg of ketilept,just only like 3 days I taked the 400 mg dosage because of the fear,then I get back on the 200mg dosage of it,300mg of eglonyl and 5 of triftazin,also was on haloperidol in the begging but it was there on hospital so I don't know the dosage there,do you guys think that it can be posible to have depersonalization because of ketilept?everything has started after it,many people say that ketilept it's not a strong antipsyhotic as others so I don't know what to think,it's possible to return to my old self? I'm off the pills already one month and a half but no improvements at all,just that now I only can hear the music in my head after listening one,but I don't feel anything and the major problem is that I can't think,I also had a stress situation,do you think it's because of that?its possible it to come back?the thing is that I can't remeber anything,so I don't remeber if I was able to think after the stress or it was after the pills,thanks and sorry for my english


3 weeks on haloperidol

1.5 months on seroquel

1.5 months on triftazin or so I cant rember very good.That was the medication last year in the beggining of 2016 then I left cols turkey then after a year again on risperdal 1 month on 4 mg then 2 months on 2 mg at the day and wanna quit cold turkey

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy