success ☼ Purplestars22: celexa withdrawal

[Purplestars22]

Ladybug, thanks for you input I agree that I will get better and never loose hope. Its great that you are having windows and tapering the rights way all things that are working for you. You are on your way to healing....

[ladybug]

Unfortunately, despite my crazy slow taper I still deal with a of symptoms but I have to believe that my body and brain are doing the best they can to try and rebalance. As are yours. We have to have faith in that, especially in the difficult times.

[Purplestars22]

Ladybug, thanks for your encouragement it means lot. I think that when its the wave the brain is working really hard rebalancing and then causes symptoms.

[Purplestars22]

Today has been so tough for me it feels like I am having a nervous breakdown. I am completely terrified what I have are irrational thoughts, anxiety, hearing loud thoughts, disorientation, and feel like I am going to loose it control/ reality. I am 13 months off I don't know what to do? Any suggestions.....

[Petunia]

It sounds like a wave purplestars, have you read our windows and waves topic?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery

Hang in there, it will pass, in the mean time maybe you could find some ideas here:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

For me, the only way I can get through the difficult times is by using distraction.  Any activity which will keep my mind gently occupied and away from frightening thoughts.

[ten0275]

22starspurple (kind of cool backwards too, right?), hello.

 

I just had some time to read your profile. I like to try and read everyone's. You've been through it fairly hardcore of late. How are you holding up? How are the irrational thoughts, ideation, etc.? The irrational thoughts and ideation were a big part of early withdrawal for me. They thankfully have gone as I've healed.

 

Anyway, just wanted to stop by and wish you well.

 

Hang in there - even when it is harrowing.

 

Dave

[Purplestars22]

22starspurple (kind of cool backwards too, right?), hello.

I just had some time to read your profile. I like to try and read everyone's. You've been through it fairly hardcore of late. How are you holding up? How are the irrational thoughts, ideation, etc.? The irrational thoughts and ideation were a big part of early withdrawal for me. They thankfully have gone as I've healed.

Anyway, just wanted to stop by and wish you well.

Hang in there - even when it is harrowing.

Dave

Hello ten0275, I am just trying to take it easy and slow without any stressors so that my symptoms don't get worse or amplified. I still have the irrational thoughts and they have slightly subsided. How were you able to deal with them? They are very hard to deal with. Good to hear you have healed and thanks for your response.

[ten0275]

ps22, hey.

 

i guess it really depends on what the irrational thoughts are. mine ran the spectrum. i had intrusive thoughts - ideation of hurting myself and others. i also had extreme paranoia in the earlier days. i had catastrophizing thoughts - where i turned every small thing into basically the end of the world.

 

i think the problem with irrational thoughts, not matter what they are, is that they are just that - irrational. so when trying to find a rational solution to an irrational barrage of uncontrollable mental fireworks - it's really tough going. personally, i found it most helpful to simply use my rational mind (which you obviously possess as well, knowing some of your thoughts are irrational) to label the thoughts as "irrational." i'd have a thought come into my mind and i would literally pause what i was doing and say, "that is a totally useless and dumb thought." it helped me separate it from the rest of my thoughts.

 

we all have irrational thoughts - even when things are going well and we are not in withdrawal. it's just something that happens with the human brain - a quirk - some leftover primal instinctual echo. irrational thoughts probably served a purpose at one point. the difference however is in withdrawal, the thoughts get stuck in there and really make us uncomfortable - their volume is amplified. these thoughts subside with time. it just has to be a day or, perhaps more apropos, a thought at a time.

 

i'm glad you are taking it easy and limiting stressors. very, very solid...

 

hang in there.

 

dave

[Wildflower0214]

Hey there. checking in. Hope you are coping. Like they say, if we must struggle, let us struggle well.

 

Prayers for endurance and peace for you.

[Purplestars22]

JDM, thanks for stopping by my thread it means a lot. I am just hanging there I had a couple semi good days this month and the rest just waves. The brain fog has been debilitating lately and the psychological syptoms been tough plus new ones. But I have to look at the positive that I am able to sleep well and today I am 14 months off Celexa ( but I reinstated in December for 5 days so I don't know if I should technically say 14 months).

 

Prayers for you as well and to see better days.

[jen84]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your brain fog and the irrational thoughts. It's crazy that you are 14 months off and still experiencing this. I hope things improve for you, and I hope they improve soon. But in the mean time, try to enjoy the good days as much as you can, I find it gives me something to look forward to when I am having a bad day. 

[jen84]

the whole brain fog thing is so weird, its like im in a cloud, and can't focus on anything, no matter how hard I try... Is that what you are experiencing?

[Purplestars22]

Hey Jen84, it has been intense withdrawal I believe I am still suffering because of how I got off the drugs by skipping doses. I read that it is the worst possible way to taper off the drugs because it destabilizes the nervous system but at the time I did not know. When I get good days I will try to make the most out of them. When I get brain fog I feel like I am mentally slow my cognitive abilities decline; slowed thinking, reaction and decline in problem solving. When i get this symptom I do feel like I cant focus on anything. Overall I feel like I lost immense points of my IQ. Thanks for stopping on my thread, wish you well.

[Purplestars22]

I am so proud of myself today because I went bowling and went out for dinner even though I still had wd symptoms. I might say I somewhat enjoyed being out. I would not have gone out to a place like that a month or two ago so that is a improvement.

 

But unfortunately lately every day I have been having intense almost acute brain fog that is debilitating. I just want my brain to be functioning and healthy.

[Purplestars22]

Lately I have been feeling isolated and disconnected from the world because of this whole wd ordeal. I am not living just existing in this world. I have limited my stressors due to a crash two months ago and it did help because some of my symptoms has subsided. It has left me put my life on hold and have insane boredom. I just wish patience because I don't know what do being stuck at home all the time. I have always had a hard time making friends because I have social anxiety and it resulted being at home watching tv. I just wonder if my cognition and development was impaired because of it and now add wd I have immense cognition problems. I have been reading a sociology book recently and read something about how others perceive an individual is how the individuals self image is based on it called the looking glass self and it reasonated with me because i always care and think how others perceive me. But i have to remind myself that what others think about like there has to be something wrong with me or being ill is not my reality.

 

I just wish that one day sooner than later that I could turn my life around be Independant, social, have a career and be in a relationship. One of the things I plan to do is learn how to drive again I haven't driven since 2013. I will drive again on the days that I can will make me feel better about myself and not rely on others.

[AliG]

Hi Purplestars, I just wanted to say hello, and thankyou for your comment on my thread. I'm glad you liked the quote.  I can identify with you feeling isolated and disconnected from the world as that is how I feel as well.  I tend to isolate myself when depressed, as I don't want to inflict myself on anyone in that mood.  My life feels on hold as well. At first it upset me a lot, but now I'm looking on it as a healing period, that is not permanent, but necessary for now.  As you said , if you limit the stress, some symptoms subside, and maybe some healing takes place.  You talked about mindfulness, and I try to do that as well - accepting this moment as it is, at this time. However, it's not forever.  In the meantime, because I'm home a lot, I try to make it a lovely  space to be in by having flowers , scented oil burners or candles, and beautiful music playing. That way, it doesn't seem like a punishment, but more of a reward to stay home, in my tranquil environment, away from the hustle and bustle.  Just a different way of thinking about it that has helped me.   It might help you too, to re- frame your thinking.

[Purplestars22]

Hi Purplestars, I just wanted to say hello, and thankyou for your comment on my thread. I'm glad you liked the quote.  I can identify with you feeling isolated and disconnected from the world as that is how I feel as well.  I tend to isolate myself when depressed, as I don't want to inflict myself on anyone in that mood.  My life feels on hold as well. At first it upset me a lot, but now I'm looking on it as a healing period, that is not permanent, but necessary for now.  As you said , if you limit the stress, some symptoms subside, and maybe some healing takes place.  You talked about mindfulness, and I try to do that as well - accepting this moment as it is, at this time. However, it's not forever.  In the meantime, because I'm home a lot, I try to make it a lovely  space to be in by having flowers , scented oil burners or candles, and beautiful music playing. That way, it doesn't seem like a punishment, but more of a reward to stay home, in my tranquil environment, away from the hustle and bustle.  Just a different way of thinking about it that has helped me.   It might help you too, to re- frame your thinking.

 

 

Hey AliG, I like your perspective on that this is a healing period and its not permanent. I can't believe that it's 2 yrs with tapering and wd the time I feel I have wasted but like you said it not forever. After this i will have my whole life ahead of me and be able to live. I should not resist that I limited my stressors because if I hadn't I would not be in a good place right know and be worse with awful symptoms. I should be glad that I took a step back from life so that the healing can take over. I am going to make my environment more peaceful with the things you mentioned how you like to have in your home. I have a himalayan salt lamp that I use and it kind of relaxes me. Thank you so much for your reply you helped me think about my situation in a different way much more positive. I hope you are doing good

[Purplestars22]

In a deep depression wondering what has my life turned to and how wd has affected me. I am extremely mentally and cognitively slow plus irrational thoughts. Wondering if I make any changes will it impede my progress and hold me back. I pray to get through this and be mentally, body and spirit healthy.

 

There is a reason for this immense suffering I may not know it now but will know it later. Wishing healing to all.

[LoveandLight]

Sorry your feeling like this xx

[Purplestars22]

One of the symptoms I have been experiencing is hairloss and hair thining. I have been searching the net and found a DIY spray to apply to the hair.( http://wellnessmama.com/3593/hair-growth-serum-recipe/). The ingredients include: Nettle, Horsetail, aloe vera gel, essential oils( lavender, rosemary). I hope the spray works and I am wondering if the herbs in the spray will cause an adverse reaction?

Any recommendations to hair loss?

[clearday]

In a deep depression wondering what has my life turned to and how wd has affected me. I am extremely mentally and cognitively slow plus irrational thoughts. Wondering if I make any changes will it impede my progress and hold me back. 

 

Yes, I think we all wind up in that spot a few times during protracted SSRI withdrawal -

 

Since you are only a little over a year out, you still have much healing to go through.

 

I had a couple years at the bottom during protracted WD from Prozac, no hope on the horizon, but eventually I got better.

 

The main ingredients are time and patience. Hard to have patience for two or three years of healing. Very discouraging.

 

The little windows show us that we can feel better. Eventually the windows get longer and the waves less intense.

 

I keep telling myself that as I struggle through this all over again, this time with Lexapro.

 

I love this quote from someone who recovered after a few years of withdrawal:

 

“The recovery was slow and painful, but I became conscious of every little improvement as it happened. I got used to the pattern: something would get better for a while, then suddenly everything would swing right back and all that recovery would vanish. But I learnt the trick - once something had recovered temporarily, it was only a matter of time before it recovered permanently. It made no difference if it came back for a while... it had already revealed its weakness, and sooner or later it was going to be gone for good. That was true in every single case.”

 

 http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3523-success-recovery-from-protracted-zoloft-withdrawal-and-pssd/

[Purplestars22]

Hey clearday, I am still in the early days of wd and my nervous system just needs more time to heal and stabilize. Like you said time and patience what is needed but is not always easy. I hope you are doing good in your wd from Lexapro and we have around the same time frame of being off. Thanks for writting the quote I loved it hopefully all symptoms disappear when this is all over.

[AliG]

  Hey Purplestar, I've heard Castor oil is good for hair loss. Check out you tube. It might be worth a go - who knows. 

[Purplestars22]

Hey AliG, ok I will check out castor oil and yt thanks for the reply.

[LoveandLight]

Hi Purplestar..how are you today? Do you have ideas of what you'd like to do when you have recovered? X

[Purplestars22]

Hey L&L I am doing okayish definitely better than earlier this week. What I would like to do when I am recovered would be go back to school to became a nurse hopefully and i would to travel. When this is all and done with it will be my second chance to life I better make it worthwhile. What about you what would you like to do when you are recovered?

[LoveandLight]

Lovely..where would you like to travel? I have no idea really..in my few windows I've had I'm content with very little but I also have the feeling that a lot is possible..I'm capable of a lot but at the moment everything feels scary and impossible x

[Purplestars22]

I would love tro travel to Mexico and see their beautiful culture. I know what you mean by the terror and feel one can't accomplish it. We will just take one day after the other.

[Tilly]

Hello Purplestars,

 

Thank you for stopping by my thread. I hope that you are doing well?

 

Enjoy the remainder of your weekend.

 

Tilly x

[Purplestars22]

Hello Tilly, I am ok but with bothersome symptoms that prevent me to function properly but I just am learning to accept it. I hope you had a pleasant weekend.

[Purplestars22]

I have been feeling horrible with intrusive, irrational thoughts and urges. I am afraid that I will believe them and act on it. I feel so unstable I am so sick of it. I hope I get through this.

[LoveandLight]

You willxxx

[Martina23]

Purplestars, which kind of intrusive thoughts do you have? I have thoughts of be violent to others, but more like obsessing about it. Terrible. And also fear of lose control and be violent to others and such. Do you also have these kind of thougts or yours are milder in the content?

[Purplestars22]

Hey Martina23 I have a milder form of those thoughts. The thoughts that I have are strange about the past, or about what may happen in the future.

[Purplestars22]

L&L thanks I just I have to keep reminding myself 'I will get through this'.

[AliG]

 Hi P.S.    You will get through this.   Just saying hi .