divalee: 24 months off Zoloft

[divalee]

Thank you Kostas -  I seem to be stuck here yes - but I know that Alto was more than 5 years in WDs -  So you think it is only partially WDs.   What I have now is severe depression, anxiety and panic attacks more than ever.  Like I said I do everything I can to help myself -  and as you said maybe I am stuck and it is WD trauma ....you think?   I am going to mindfulness with one of the doctors I used to work for at a hospital.  Just four of us which I like better.  He, is wife, myself and one other person.  This doctor and I used to sing for the patients on special occasions and I worked for him also.  He is wonderful - we do mind games, meditation, sing, simple exercise with music....so I am getting some help - but still it persists.

 

Thank you for taking the time to answer me Kostas

Lee

xx

 

[RachelSusan]

Hi Lee,

It's been a while since we communicated here however I haven't forgotten you writing out songs for me. You always made me feel so good.  I wish that I could make you feel better now.  Some people here have given you some good suggestions so I won't restate the same things they have said. I too am still riding the Zoloft monster but I'm much further down on dosage than when we last wrote. The one thing I noticed about Zoloft, at least for me, is that it's unpredictable and right when I think I am over the symptoms they come back around and hit me when I am least looking.  Like other have stated though I'm not sure if yours is withdrawal, or perhaps emotional trauma sustained by having been in withdrawal, or perhaps a combination of both, or even something else. Please keep posting, you are obviously an intelligent person and you bring a lot to this group.  I truly believe you will pull out of this and can then serve as role model for others.  I do have one question for you though, is there any way in which I can help you?  Do you want me to try and research anything on the internet for you, any words of kindness or encouragement that you need from me at present?

xo

RS

[Kostas]

6 minutes ago, divalee said:

Thank you Kostas -  I seem to be stuck here yes - but I know that Alto was more than 5 years in WDs -  So you think it is only partially WDs.   What I have now is severe depression, anxiety and panic attacks more than ever.  Like I said I do everything I can to help myself -  and as you said maybe I am stuck and it is WD trauma ....you think?   I am going to mindfulness with one of the doctors I used to work for at a hospital.  Just four of us which I like better.  He, is wife, myself and one other person.  This doctor and I used to sing for the patients on special occasions and I worked for him also.  He is wonderful - we do mind games, meditation, sing, simple exercise with music....so I am getting some help - but still it persists.

 

Thank you for taking the time to answer me Kostas

Lee

xx

 

Very glad to hear that you have taken some action! 

Please try to distruct yourself with pleasant things, and as Alto says, give it time and things will work out in the end! 

I live in Athens, but had been in Essex for 4 years for my doctorate in the University there, and I am always dreaming of the fantastic English countryside! 

All the best. 

[divalee]

Thank you Powerback - how long are you in protracted WDs....it is 5 years with me - I think what is happening now is that I had so much hope of getting better and then day after day no change once in a while a window but so few and far between.  I think I see myself that I wont get better thus stuck where I am - lost hope I think that is what it is......

 

I am sorry you are having a bad day - I can walk solidly in your shoes.

 

Funny that you mention about my finances.  That is why I said maybe I shouldnt say anything about that.  Because I did get really bitten hard by a member that is still a member here but has not posted in years....she is in another Paxil group now......she said she was a highly qualified Therapist and that she could help me.  I was so sick with WDs that I believed her and she took much much money from me  and this was all on messages at FB and emails.  .....so everyone beware -  I knew I could say something about my finances now because no one will ever do that to me again.  She was checked out and she does not exist anywhere as a Therapist nor a Mid wife xx no where at all.   

 

But she is lucky because I do not believe in retaliation because we only dig two graves when we do that and we lose our self respect too - and an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.  Let the Universe and Karma take care of it.  I have no right to judge - no one knows why people do what they do - .....Most important thing here.....I have learned xxxx

 

Just a warning not to get trapped into something like this.....

 

Lee (f)

xxx

 

[divalee]

Thank you Powerback - how long are you in protracted WDs....it is 5 years with me - I think what is happening now is that I had so much hope of getting better and then day after day no change once in a while a window but so few and far between.  I think I see myself that I wont get better thus stuck where I am - lost hope I think that is what it is......

 

I am sorry you are having a bad day - I can walk solidly in your shoes.

 

Funny that you mention about my finances.  That is why I said maybe I shouldnt say anything about that.  Because I did get really bitten hard by a member that is still a member here but has not posted in years....she is in another Paxil group now......she said she was a highly qualified Therapist and that she could help me.  I was so sick with WDs that I believed her and she took much much money from me  and this was all on messages at FB and emails.  .....so everyone beware -  I knew I could say something about my finances now because no one will ever do that to me again.  She was checked out and she does not exist anywhere as a Therapist nor a Mid wife xx no where at all.   

 

But she is lucky because I do not believe in retaliation because we only dig two graves when we do that and we lose our self respect too - and an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.  Let the Universe and Karma take care of it.  I have no right to judge - no one knows why people do what they do - .....Most important thing here.....I have learned xxxx

 

Just a warning not to get trapped into something like this.....

 

Lee (f)

xxx

 

[divalee]

20 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Hi Lee,

It's been a while since we communicated here however I haven't forgotten you writing out songs for me. You always made me feel so good.  I wish that I could now make you feel better now.  Some people here have given you some good suggestions so I won't restate the same things they have said. I too am still riding the Zoloft monster but I'm much further down on dosage than when we last wrote. The one thing I noticed about Zoloft, at least for me, is that it's unpredictable and right when I think I am over the symptoms they come back around and hit me when I am least looking.  Like other have stated though I'm not sure if yours is withdrawal, or perhaps emotional trauma sustained by having been in withdrawal, or perhaps a combination of both, or even something else. Please keep posting, you are obviously an intelligent person and you bring a lot to this group.  I truly believe you will pull out of this and can then serve as role model for others.  I do have one question for you though, is there any way in which I can help you?  Do you want me to try and research anything on the internet for you, any words of kindness or encouragement that you need from me at present?

xo

RS

Thank yu for Replying Rachel -  Yes I remember you.   But some others have been with protracted WDs for 5 years or more.  I can understand that it might be worse because i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel - and lost all hope so everything does seem worse.  Yes I can see that -  when you suffer day after day the anxiety and panic just gets worse - because you have lost all hope and find it harder to face the day.  But these are withdrawals.

 

Pins and needles in face, head, pressure across bridge of nose

feeling pressure in my ears (just been to ENT everything perfect

night sweats 

morning terrible anxiety and crying

visual disturbances

Cold then hot

burning skin

and more

these are all withdrawals I have had all of these for 5 years.....but I know what you mean - because severe anxiety can cause these symptoms to escalate to the moon.   I think I am stuck because of fear of not getting better and lost hope.   

 

Stay strong Rachel, I see you are still on the Zoloft - well take your time getting off...real slow....you will be okay, we will all be okay we just have to believe that and have all the hope and courage we can muster.

 

If happy little bluebird fly

beyond the rainbow

so can........you........and.........I....

 

much love

Lee (f)

[powerback]

6 minutes ago, divalee said:

Thank you Powerback - how long are you in protracted WDs....it is 5 years with me - I think what is happening now is that I had so much hope of getting better and then day after day no change once in a while a window but so few and far between.  I think I see myself that I wont get better thus stuck where I am - lost hope I think that is what it is......

 

I am sorry you are having a bad day - I can walk solidly in your shoes.

 

Funny that you mention about my finances.  That is why I said maybe I shouldnt say anything about that.  Because I did get really bitten hard by a member that is still a member here but has not posted in years....she is in another Paxil group now......she said she was a highly qualified Therapist and that she could help me.  I was so sick with WDs that I believed her and she took much much money from me  and this was all on messages at FB and emails.  .....so everyone beware -  I knew I could say something about my finances now because no one will ever do that to me again.  She was checked out and she does not exist anywhere as a Therapist nor a Mid wife xx no where at all.   

 

But she is lucky because I do not believe in retaliation because we only dig two graves when we do that and we lose our self respect too - and an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.  Let the Universe and Karma take care of it.  I have no right to judge - no one knows why people do what they do - .....Most important thing here.....I have learned xxxx

 

Just a warning not to get trapped into something like this.....

 

Lee (f)

xxx

 

I'm not at zero but going on more than 18 months and the last 6 a nightmare the hardest , but external factors are making things impossible and I'm my own worst critic ,which is very cruel .

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind ,this is a very good saying .I just posted about Karma on my own thread ,I was wondering what I must of been in a past life to deserve this cruelty .

Yep you wont be burnt again that's for sure .even though we are going through trauma ,I'm not sure how helpful serious therapy is in withdrawl ,I personally am leaning on not for myself ,its a mind F*ck is withdrawl  ,maybe give journaling your thoughts and feelings ago everyday and see how you get on. 

this lady is lucky not to be prosecuted with claiming to be a therapist .

Take care D 

 

[RachelSusan]

Lee,

You brought tears to me eyes with the song.  Thank you so much.  Yes indeed those symptoms you listed are withdrawal.  Sadly we both know them too well.

xo

RS

[divalee]

16 minutes ago, powerback said:

I'm not at zero but going on more than 18 months and the last 6 a nightmare the hardest , but external factors are making things impossible and I'm my own worst critic ,which is very cruel .

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind ,this is a very good saying .I just posted about Karma on my own thread ,I was wondering what I must of been in a past life to deserve this cruelty .

Yep you wont be burnt again that's for sure .even though we are going through trauma ,I'm not sure how helpful serious therapy is in withdrawl ,I personally am leaning on not for myself ,its a mind F*ck is withdrawl  ,maybe give journaling your thoughts and feelings ago everyday and see how you get on. 

this lady is lucky not to be prosecuted with claiming to be a therapist .

Take care D 

 

Im with you on the journaling - I worked in a Psychiatric hospital as a medical secretary and saw plenty.  Some of these doctors made so many mistakes and going to therapy didnt work for so many.    I think mindfulness is great.     Oh yes beware of this fake therapist - she is in the building.  Never ever posted for a few years now and is in another group.   

[divalee]

19 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Lee,

You brought tears to me eyes with the song.  Thank you so much.  Yes indeed those symptoms you listed are withdrawal.  Sadly we both know them too well.

xo

RS

Well that song was just for you - I have not been doing it lately and it felt good to do it again.   Yes they are WDs but as you said i could be stuck with fear that it will never end thus making things worse for myself.  Others have said the same thing and it something to think about.

 

Just call my name.......and I'll be there

Much love

Lee

[apace41]

5 hours ago, divalee said:

I am taking Andy's advice and am posting again - He told me never to think I cannot post for fear everyone will get fed up with me.

 

Hi, Lee.  I hope all the answers you received give you the comfort of knowing you are not alone in all of this.

 

I can say that for myself I started tapering Clonzapam in November of 2012 and 5.5 years later I'm not yet off Sertraline/Zoloft and I feel pretty crappy most of the time.  The range of bizarre symptoms I get is unending to be honest with jaw tightness just arriving on the scene last night as a nice little unwelcome addition.  We are the victims of nervous systems that have been overstimulated from the drugs and withdrawal and the release of hormones on a continuous basis causes a raft of strange, uncomfortable, threatening and generally unpleasant symptoms.

 

All I can do for you is what I do for myself -- provide a reminder that people heal.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Dalalea]

Hi Divalee,

I'm so sorry you're going through this for so long. I'm in month 9 of 25mg of Zoloft for about 7 years. I didn't realize the difficulty of going of and went with a 2 month taper last summer. Severe withdrawal symptoms started showing up 3 months later and it took me 2 more months to make the connection.

I'm a widow, both parents gone, and my kids are all out of the house so I totally understand the scariness of going through this alone. No one around to see that I was sitting day after day on the couch, unable to eat more than a few crackers, and transferring to bed from the couch every night; only to do it again the next day. I have health anxiety that has gotten much worse since withdrawal; pair that with withdrawal anxiety and I was beside myself! The depression was worse than anything I'd experienced before.

For months I woke with the most horribly depressing thoughts as my first thoughts of the day. Thankfully, that has subsided. That had to be one of the worst things! What a terrible way to start each day!

I'm still having fatigue, tinnitus (loud every day), and numbness on my feet. My vision and hearing aren't as good as a year ago. I'm more sensitive to most medication. I get sick easier.

-Do you keep daily notes on symptoms and what you're doing for them?

OK, I'm a retired teacher and love working with data. Naturally, I developed a spreadsheet plan for myself with a checklist 2 months ago, and I work with it every day. That and a tally of symptoms and the notes I write have helped me find things I was doing that made things worse. Sometimes, it feels a little silly to carry around 4 pieces of paper, but the information has helped bring me out of many waves.

Last month, I threw myself into a bad wave because I sat in a friend's hot tub. The next full week I payed for it! I realized, while analyzing my data, that I had put myself into detox. I've heard Zoloft stays in certain cells in the body long after going off. I want to detox my body sometime, but obviously that wasn't gentle enough.

A summary of my plan is in my signature, if you're curious, along with a link to my Excel file.

I'm so glad you've reached out again. We all need to stick together and help each other through this! This forum and a Zoloft withdrawal page on facebook give me the feeling of not being alone.

I'm praying you find some relief soon!

Dalalea

[divalee]

15 hours ago, apace41 said:

 

Hi, Lee.  I hope all the answers you received give you the comfort of knowing you are not alone in all of this.

 

I can say that for myself I started tapering Clonzapam in November of 2012 and 5.5 years later I'm not yet off Sertraline/Zoloft and I feel pretty crappy most of the time.  The range of bizarre symptoms I get is unending to be honest with jaw tightness just arriving on the scene last night as a nice little unwelcome addition.  We are the victims of nervous systems that have been overstimulated from the drugs and withdrawal and the release of hormones on a continuous basis causes a raft of strange, uncomfortable, threatening and generally unpleasant symptoms.

 

All I can do for you is what I do for myself -- provide a reminder that people heal.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Hello Andy

Yes I know how you are suffering as well and I am so sorry.....I know what you mean bizarre symptoms unending.  Yes we all must remember that people do heal.

 

Stay well and you are always in my prayers.

Love

Lee

 

[divalee]

14 hours ago, Dalalea said:

Hi Divalee,

I'm so sorry you're going through this for so long. I'm in month 9 of 25mg of Zoloft for about 7 years. I didn't realize the difficulty of going of and went with a 2 month taper last summer. Severe withdrawal symptoms started showing up 3 months later and it took me 2 more months to make the connection.

I'm a widow, both parents gone, and my kids are all out of the house so I totally understand the scariness of going through this alone. No one around to see that I was sitting day after day on the couch, unable to eat more than a few crackers, and transferring to bed from the couch every night; only to do it again the next day. I have health anxiety that has gotten much worse since withdrawal; pair that with withdrawal anxiety and I was beside myself! The depression was worse than anything I'd experienced before.

For months I woke with the most horribly depressing thoughts as my first thoughts of the day. Thankfully, that has subsided. That had to be one of the worst things! What a terrible way to start each day!

I'm still having fatigue, tinnitus (loud every day), and numbness on my feet. My vision and hearing aren't as good as a year ago. I'm more sensitive to most medication. I get sick easier.

-Do you keep daily notes on symptoms and what you're doing for them?

OK, I'm a retired teacher and love working with data. Naturally, I developed a spreadsheet plan for myself with a checklist 2 months ago, and I work with it every day. That and a tally of symptoms and the notes I write have helped me find things I was doing that made things worse. Sometimes, it feels a little silly to carry around 4 pieces of paper, but the information has helped bring me out of many waves.

Last month, I threw myself into a bad wave because I sat in a friend's hot tub. The next full week I payed for it! I realized, while analyzing my data, that I had put myself into detox. I've heard Zoloft stays in certain cells in the body long after going off. I want to detox my body sometime, but obviously that wasn't gentle enough.

A summary of my plan is in my signature, if you're curious, along with a link to my Excel file.

I'm so glad you've reached out again. We all need to stick together and help each other through this! This forum and a Zoloft withdrawal page on facebook give me the feeling of not being alone.

I'm praying you find some relief soon!

Dalalea

Hello Dalalea

I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible time.  I can walk solidly in your shoes.  Yes we wake up every morning to the same suffering all day long.  Just know that you are not alone - you have us - this group is wonderful and gives us hope and encourages us to keep on going.   We will heal....we will.

 

I used to keep notes but dont any more - maybe i should again.....

 

Know that you are not alone Dalalea - you have us - always.......and I pray also for you to find some relief soon. 

Love

Lee (f(

[Dalalea]

2 hours ago, divalee said:

Hello Dalalea

I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible time.  I can walk solidly in your shoes.  Yes we wake up every morning to the same suffering all day long.  Just know that you are not alone - you have us - this group is wonderful and gives us hope and encourages us to keep on going.   We will heal....we will.

 

I used to keep notes but dont any more - maybe i should again.....

 

Know that you are not alone Dalalea - you have us - always.......and I pray also for you to find some relief soon. 

Love

Lee (f(

Lee,

Thanks for the encouragement! The good thing about having a forum like this is that we don't have to do a lot of explaining. We can jump right in to the issues and encourage each other!

Yes! We WILL heal! I totally believe that!

Dalalea xx

[divalee]

Hello again everyone

 

Well now because of WDs I don't know if I have the stomach bug.  The reason why I feel that I do is that I am never nauseous .  I have been nauseous with some dizziness now for over a week.  My friends all tell me that this is going around.  The thing is I feel better from the nausea later on in the day and night only for it to return again the next morning.  I do not have diarrhea nor do I vomit,  I Googled that and it said that you can have the stomach bug without throwing up or diarrhea,  

 

I have the feeling of blocked ears and pins and needles all over my face and head and pressure bridge of nose but I know that is from the Anxiety  I have with these WDs.  

 

Yesterday I had to go out because I committed myself to take this elderly lady, who is 97 years old to do her grocery shopping and we always have to go to McDonalds first because she loves to go there to eat and chat.  I didn't know how I was going to do that but - well here you go......I sat there with not much anxiety was able to control myself.  I had the fear of losing it - but I was okay.  I took her for her groceries - I was okay and for the rest of the day no nausea and just a slight dizziness.

 

Now I know what is going through your mind - It must be WDs - Maybe the nausea is a new WD as it said in the video - Rubiks cube will shut down one part and work on another part of your brain. 

 

I don't know what it is.  I went to my ENT doctor and he said my ears, sinuses and throat are just fine.   Do I have a stomach bug? Or is it another WD symptom.  Seems like many people do have it here.  Maybe worse for me because I have to deal with WDs and severe anxiety every day.  I don't know......It is strange that I always feel better say starting around 5 pm.....only for it to come back full force the next morning.  

 

I have an appointment with a neurologist on Tuesday and I don't know how I can go.  I know I will, but maan so difficult.  I do suffer from migraines that is why I am going.

 

Please can someone help me with this...I am never nauseous - even with the WDs dizziness -  So that is why I think maybe it is the stomach bug.  I know I am rambling - I am just so scared.

 

Thank you for listening to me......once again........please can anyone relate?

 

Love

Lee

Is it true that we are never given more than we can take?  I am beginning to wonder about that Quote

xoxo     I hope this is true

[divalee]

Hello Everyone

 

I feel like I am truly losing it now - and am making a fool of myself here - I want to apologise for doing that.  I am a very strong person, but these withdrawals have gotten me down on my knees.

 

So to not make a fool of myself and post here because of so much fear......I will come back when at least I can give you some good news, but not before

 

Only when I feel better again.   I am so sorry for everyone who is suffering...and pray for all of you

 

I promise I will be back when I can say I am having lots of windows and feeling better.

 

Again please forgive the weakness and fear and all the rest of it.  That is how we get - we are not even the same person anymore

 

We get needy,  and lose our self respect - something I tried so hard not to do.  

 

I will be back when I can at least give you some good news.    

 

Much love to all of you

Lee (f)

 

Tear a star from out the sky

and the sky feels blue

Tear a Petal from a Rose

and the Rose weeps too

xoxo

 

[apace41]

Lee,

 

Slow down and take a couple of deep breaths.  Your brain is running 100 miles a minute.

 

Whether this is withdrawal triggered anxiety or good old fashioned anxiety, you have anxiety and that is the source of many if not all of your symptoms.  (See my posts earlier and the site you checked out.)   Letting it run wild is not going to help calm your system down so you can get it under control.

 

Look for the positives.  You say you feel better around 5 each day?  That's great because it shows a tendency toward improvement that hopefully will slowly move from 5 to 4 to 3 and so on.  You have better moments like in the McDonald's where you did not have the same level of symptoms.  These are small victories but they are victories.

 

And, as I've said before, you never need to apologize for coming here to vent.  You have a lot on your plate.  It's not a bad thing to let it out on paper/computer.

 

Please continue to come here as you want and/or need.  Don't feel you have to post that you are better before you can be here.  If that were the case I'd NEVER post.   LOL.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[divalee]

21 minutes ago, apace41 said:

Lee,

 

Slow down and take a couple of deep breaths.  Your brain is running 100 miles a minute.

 

Whether this is withdrawal triggered anxiety or good old fashioned anxiety, you have anxiety and that is the source of many if not all of your symptoms.  (See my posts earlier and the site you checked out.)   Letting it run wild is not going to help calm your system down so you can get it under control.

 

Look for the positives.  You say you feel better around 5 each day?  That's great because it shows a tendency toward improvement that hopefully will slowly move from 5 to 4 to 3 and so on.  You have better moments like in the McDonald's where you did not have the same level of symptoms.  These are small victories but they are victories.

 

And, as I've said before, you never need to apologize for coming here to vent.  You have a lot on your plate.  It's not a bad thing to let it out on paper/computer.

 

Please continue to come here as you want and/or need.  Don't feel you have to post that you are better before you can be here.  If that were the case I'd NEVER post.   LOL.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Aww Andy, Bless you - just bless you......I am going through a wave i never experienced before.  I dont know what this nausea and dizziness is -  it could be the stomach bug as many have it - but who knows with withdrawals.  and yes it  is true at night I always feel better, but lately I still get relief but not as much as before.

 

Thank you - Thank God for you Andy

I wish for you some very long windows......and someday only windows

 

Love

Lee

 

[apace41]

3 minutes ago, divalee said:

.I am going through a wave i never experienced before.  I dont know what this nausea and dizziness is -  it could be the stomach bug as many have it - but who knows with withdrawals.  and yes it  is true at night I always feel better, but lately I still get relief but not as much as before.

 

Lee,

 

These are CLASSIC signs of anxiety.  Withdrawal has triggered anxiety in you and it is translating into a stressed CNS which is bombarding you with symptoms.  These are two of them.

 

Try to do your best not to overreact to these symptoms.  Trust me, I feel that "off-balanced, on a rocking boat feeling" pretty much 24/7.  It sucks but if you allow it to upset you to the core it only gets worse.

 

Your afternoon "mini-window" is a good sign overall.  The fact that it's not as good is indicative of heightened stress -- likely from your reaction to the dizziness and nausea.

 

Love to you.

 

Andy

[divalee]

3 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

Lee,

 

These are CLASSIC signs of anxiety.  Withdrawal has triggered anxiety in you and it is translating into a stressed CNS which is bombarding you with symptoms.  These are two of them.

 

Try to do your best not to overreact to these symptoms.  Trust me, I feel that "off-balanced, on a rocking boat feeling" pretty much 24/7.  It sucks but if you allow it to upset you to the core it only gets worse.

 

Your afternoon "mini-window" is a good sign overall.  The fact that it's not as good is indicative of heightened stress -- likely from your reaction to the dizziness and nausea.

 

Love to you.

 

Andy

Yes you are right it is worse since the nausea and dizziness -  I will try very hard you make so much sense. 

I don't know how to thank you - you keep my head above water Andy.....

Love

Lee

 

[RachelSusan]

Lee,

This is a support group.  It means we give you support.  When you are feeling better you will give others support. Support is necessary when you feel your lowest. We are here for you, we want to be here for you.

 

I know you like music.   Here is one song that reflects how I am feeling when I am in a wave. Perhaps you might identify with it. I deliberately left of the artist and the name but you can probably guess it.

 

Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone
Help!

(When) When I was younger (When I was young) so much younger than today
(I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way
(Now) But now these days are gone (These days are gone) and I'm not so self assured
(And now I find) Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me?

[divalee]

9 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Lee,

This is a support group.  It means we give you support.  When you are feeling better you will give others support. Support is necessary when you feel your lowest. We are here for you, we want to be here for you.

 

I know you like music.   Here is one song that reflects how I am feeling when I am in a wave. Perhaps you might identify with it. I deliberately left of the artist and the name but you can probably guess it.

 

Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone
Help!

(When) When I was younger (When I was young) so much younger than today
(I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way
(Now) But now these days are gone (These days are gone) and I'm not so self assured
(And now I find) Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me?

Aww Rachel yes, thank you so much.   Music is my soul and my soul is music.  Thank you. 

I hope you are doing well - all in this group are in my prayers.

Love

Lee (f)

 

[divalee]

39 minutes ago, divalee said:

Yes you are right it is worse since the nausea and dizziness -  I will try very hard you make so much sense. 

I don't know how to thank you - you keep my head above water Andy.....

Love

Lee

 

Andy I was just thinking.  I know my major problem is severe anxiety.  But I am going along with the WDs and accepting them, when suddenly a new withdrawal comes along - thus more anxiety because of it.  It is said in the Video we have that each wave is different and can be worse than the last one...So I think this is what is happening -  So the waves and anxiety sort of go together is that right?  Yes I have to read that article you wrote - I just have to sit here long enough to read and absorb it.

 

Just wondering your thoughts.

Love

Lee

 

[divalee]

Hello Everyone

 

I had an appointment with a neurologist today for my silent migraines that I have been having every three weeks for months.  But since February 27th I have not had any.  Neurological exam was perfect - but she wants me to have an EEG to check out any activities there to detect Migraines. 

 

I am not as nauseous but still have waves of dizziness.  This is not the same dizziness I get from WDs...or are they, who knows any more .  We all know that we get different symptoms popping up.

 

Try to do what Andy suggested - to try and stay calm and not be so frightened with these withdrawals.  It is so hard to believe that they are withdrawals they are so real.  Hopeless feeling that this will never end.  The struggles each day to do any task at all. That list of symptoms of anxiety is unreal...and I have most of them too.  I was doing so much better a few months ago when I look back and I don't know why I got worse.  I mean I didn't do anything for me to get worse - so why did that happen.

 

Stay well everyone and take good care of yourselves.

 

Much love

Lee

 

[coldturkmama]

4 hours ago, divalee said:

Hello Everyone

 

I had an appointment with a neurologist today for my silent migraines that I have been having every three weeks for months.  But since February 27th I have not had any.  Neurological exam was perfect - but she wants me to have an EEG to check out any activities there to detect Migraines. 

 

I am not as nauseous but still have waves of dizziness.  This is not the same dizziness I get from WDs...or are they, who knows any more .  We all know that we get different symptoms popping up.

 

Try to do what Andy suggested - to try and stay calm and not be so frightened with these withdrawals.  It is so hard to believe that they are withdrawals they are so real.  Hopeless feeling that this will never end.  The struggles each day to do any task at all. That list of symptoms of anxiety is unreal...and I have most of them too.  I was doing so much better a few months ago when I look back and I don't know why I got worse.  I mean I didn't do anything for me to get worse - so why did that happen.

 

Stay well everyone and take good care of yourselves.

 

Much love

Lee

 

 

 

How is many months are to you free now Lee? My symptoms at worse at times too, and I didn’t do anything to make it different. 

[divalee]

11 hours ago, coldturkmama said:

 

 

How is many months are to you free now Lee? My symptoms at worse at times too, and I didn’t do anything to make it different. 

Hello Coldturkeymama

 

do you meant how long have I been off Zoloft.  It is almost 5 years - I was doing so much better then suddenly in the past couple of months have gone down hill horribly.  Now I have this dizziness and nausea and I dont know if it is another form of WDs or a bug I have.  When In WDs we just dont know.    I seem to be getting worse for no apparent reason so therefore my anxiety has hit the roof.

 

Thank you for answering me and I hope this finds you doing well.....

 

I must try to keep a song in my heart -  right now it is but a whisper.

 

Love

Lee

 

[RachelSusan]

16 hours ago, divalee said:

Neurological exam was perfect - but she wants me to have an EEG to check out any activities there to detect Migraines. 

Hello Lee,

When do you get that EEG? I ask because I am concerned about you. It's crazy how these symptoms come and go.  I wish they came with a label,  "this is WD" or "this is something else".  I hate waves.

RS

[divalee]

6 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

Hello Lee,

When do you get that EEG? I ask because I am concerned about you. It's crazy how these symptoms come and go.  I wish they came with a label,  "this is WD" or "this is something else".  I hate waves.

RS

I have to wait for them to call me Rachel......this last wave is really horrible.  As i said i was coping at least but now, me who never gives up, and would go out and do stuff no matter what - am now finding it almost impossible.  I have to go out today, no choice.  Need groceries and Bank and Pet shop.  I dont know how I am going to do it...but I must.....

 

Thank you for answering me Rachel.  I hope you are doing well.

 

Love

Lee

 

[coldturkmama]

4 hours ago, divalee said:

Hello Coldturkeymama

 

do you meant how long have I been off Zoloft.  It is almost 5 years - I was doing so much better then suddenly in the past couple of months have gone down hill horribly.  Now I have this dizziness and nausea and I dont know if it is another form of WDs or a bug I have.  When In WDs we just dont know.    I seem to be getting worse for no apparent reason so therefore my anxiety has hit the roof.

 

Thank you for answering me and I hope this finds you doing well.....

 

I must try to keep a song in my heart -  right now it is but a whisper.

 

Love

Lee

 

 

 

Yes, I thought you and I were almost the same time frame. I’ll be 5 years in October. This is a rough process but I try to stay positive as well.  

[divalee]

52 minutes ago, coldturkmama said:

 

 

Yes, I thought you and I were almost the same time frame. I’ll be 5 years in October. This is a rough process but I try to stay positive as well.  

 

52 minutes ago, coldturkmama said:

 

 

Yes, I thought you and I were almost the same time frame. I’ll be 5 years in October. This is a rough process but I try to stay positive as well.  

What are you symptoms Coldturkmama if you dont mind me asking.  I am going through the worse time ever and I thought I would not be able to do my shopping today but I did it anyway with great difficulty.  Bank, Pet Shop, Fruit and veg. shop and grocery store.  I did it all -  I cant believe I did....but I must . I cant let this horrible wave get me....Thank you so much for replying it means to much to me.

 

They say maybe after the 5 year mark that things will get easier - God, I hope so.   Do you mind telling me your symptoms?  

 

Much love to all

Lee

 

 

[coldturkmama]

7 minutes ago, divalee said:

 

What are you symptoms Coldturkmama if you dont mind me asking.  I am going through the worse time ever and I thought I would not be able to do my shopping today but I did it anyway with great difficulty.  Bank, Pet Shop, Fruit and veg. shop and grocery store.  I did it all -  I cant believe I did....but I must . I cant let this horrible wave get me....Thank you so much for replying it means to much to me.

 

They say maybe after the 5 year mark that things will get easier - God, I hope so.   Do you mind telling me your symptoms?  

 

Much love to all

Lee

 

 

 

They’ve changed off and on of course and come in windows/waves but the main ones are:

 

body pains

lower back pain

fatigue 

brain zaps

insomnia (much improved!)

Foot pain

tight band around head

anxiety 

lack of motivation 

Worry 

restlessness

panic attacks (not often but feel like I could have one, so on the verge at times)

Strange sensations in my head, hard to describe unless you have it but I often tell my husband my brain feels weird or broken. 

Sometimes nausea 

ive always had food sensitivities and stomach problems and in fact that is why I was put on Paxil in the first place, so it makes me wonder if since serotonin is made in the gut, if once I can get my gut healed, a lot of issues would goooo away. 

 

Im sure I’m forgetting some lol 

 

what are yours?

[divalee]

1 hour ago, coldturkmama said:

 

They’ve changed off and on of course and come in windows/waves but the main ones are:

 

body pains

lower back pain

fatigue 

brain zaps

insomnia (much improved!)

Foot pain

tight band around head

anxiety 

lack of motivation 

Worry 

restlessness

panic attacks (not often but feel like I could have one, so on the verge at times)

Strange sensations in my head, hard to describe unless you have it but I often tell my husband my brain feels weird or broken. 

Sometimes nausea 

ive always had food sensitivities and stomach problems and in fact that is why I was put on Paxil in the first place, so it makes me wonder if since serotonin is made in the gut, if once I can get my gut healed, a lot of issues would goooo away. 

 

Im sure I’m forgetting some lol 

 

what are yours?

I have some of yours

Fatigue

tight band around head

severe anxiety

panic attacks

pins and needles face, head and pressure across bridge of my nose

night sweats 

morning anxiety with crying

ear pressure ( just went to ENT nothing wrong with my ears)

migraines

 

I never had nausea but since 12 days I have had nausea and dizziness.  It seems to be better now

 

My GP thinks that the nausea and dizziness are from my silent migraines.  He is sending me to another neurologist, and audiologist because you can have these symptoms with no headache and can last postdrome for a long time.  

 

I am sorry you are suffering so much too -   I am so happy for this place -  Andy and so many have helped me so much.  Even a sending one line of encouragement helps.

 

Thank you - we will get better that is what we have to believe

 

Love

Lee

 

[coldturkmama]

38 minutes ago, divalee said:

I have some of yours

Fatigue

tight band around head

severe anxiety

panic attacks

pins and needles face, head and pressure across bridge of my nose

night sweats 

morning anxiety with crying

ear pressure ( just went to ENT nothing wrong with my ears)

migraines

 

I never had nausea but since 12 days I have had nausea and dizziness.  It seems to be better now

 

My GP thinks that the nausea and dizziness are from my silent migraines.  He is sending me to another neurologist, and audiologist because you can have these symptoms with no headache and can last postdrome for a long time.  

 

I am sorry you are suffering so much too -   I am so happy for this place -  Andy and so many have helped me so much.  Even a sending one line of encouragement helps.

 

Thank you - we will get better that is what we have to believe

 

Love

Lee

 

 

I definitely believe we will heal in time  

[divalee]

Andy I remember you saying that you take B12 supplements and I was worried that it would make my anxiety worse.  Although it is said it is suppose to help your anxiety.  I am willing to try it again as I have Hypothyroidism and it is said people with that should take B12.  My B12 is at the low normal range of 237 pmol/l (Canadian)  I was reading up on B12 where many countries find this range low and the lab tests could be wrong even if it comes up normal.

 

I am going to try to take it again.  Trouble with me I think that all my symptoms after that is caused by the B12 and I don't give it a chance  - so will start at the lowest possible and then gradually take more.

 

Nothing is different for me so I wont go on about it.  I will give a detailed report on May 17th when I am 5 years free of Zoloft the only medication I ever ever took.

 

I  hope you are doing well Andy -  When I feel light headed or waves of dizziness I think of you that has it almost 24/7 - saying how brave you are.....and I must be too.

 

Once there was a little old Ant

Thought he could move a rubber tree plant

Everyone knows an.....ant...cant....move a rubber tree plant

 

But he had .....high hopes....he had ....high hopes.....he had High apple pie in the sky hopes,

So anytime your feeling low, stead of feeling low, just remember that ant.....

 OOOPS THERE GOES ANOTHER RUBBER TREE PLANT... 

 

Love

Lee

 

[direstraits]

@divaleethinking of you...

goodluck with the B12,hope it helps.

looking forward to your update.

big hugs

love,ds

xxx