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divalee

divalee: 24 months off Zoloft

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divalee

AmyK, thank you so much - and any suffering or loss you may have had - I am sorry for your suffering too.

xxxxx

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divalee

PugKnows

 

Wow that is a lot of weight.  I hope you feel much better though after that.

 

Thank you for your encouraging words that I might just be on my way to healing towards the 3 year mark.  Makes me want to cry the suffering is beyond comprehension. xxxxx

 

I wish you healing the rest of your journey through this dark and miserable road we are on.

 

Thank you

xxxxx

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Pugknows

Lee,

 

I have tears in my eyes after reading your kind words on my thread. You are so close to healing, my sweet friend. This is your year. 2015. Next year you will be going through the "refining" stage of your healing, tidying up the "loose ends" of your symptoms, gluing together the last of the delicate broken vases of your brain until the cracks are all dissolved and you have a brand new brain to cherish with which you will see the world in a whole new light.

 

I like to "justify" why God is putting me through this by telling myself that most of His children don't get the opportunity to appreciate His glory in their lifetime because they move too fast, scurrying from one unimportant point to the next, never pausing to soak in the wonder of God's grace and His compassion and His mercy all around them.

 

He hand-picked us for this journey to give us the gift of real sight. Seeing and experiencing God in everything with a beautiful new brain, rebuilt by Him. If you weren't spiritual before all this happened, this journey through hell has to make you a believer!

 

Keep telling yourself this during the toughest most despairing of times, Lee. Everything and everyone has a purpose. The more you suffer, the greater the reward will be.

 

I love you dearly. You are truly my friend in this. I will not leave you behind. I will stay right here next to you until we, and all our fellow warriors, are on the other side.

 

Love, Pug

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divalee

Aww Pug what a beautiful post to me  -  I knew you were special - I felt it.  I am a very spiritual person - and I understand exactly what you are saying.  But geez Pug - the suffering is so much sometimes -  that is why we need the love of you, the encouragement of you, the hope of you - that you bring to this board.

 

Yes please do not leave me, nor I you and the members here....

 

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

So can      you........and.......I

 

Love Lee

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Pugknows

Over the rainbow .... my favorite song.

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Pugknows

Love you Lee.

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AliG

 Stay strong & be patient & positive, Lee. 

 

I already know that you are. You & Pug K are a  "force". !!

 

Be kind & gentle , to yourself & keep going !!

 

You will make it.  :)   Ali.

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divalee

PugKnows    Love you too Pug.

xxx

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divalee

AliG    Yes trying very hard to be positive -  being here with all of you helps a great deal

 

I hope you are doing well..

 

xxx

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AliG

 Struggling, tonight.  Thank you .

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divalee

Hello everyone

 

Today was the worst day I have had concerning anxiety .  It just hit the roof.  What I am worried about is this.   This anxiety has made my blood pressure go sky high.  It fluctuates -  and even can go down to normal.  Mostly though it systolic is high but never the diastolic. 

 

I have so many side effects from withdrawal from Zoloft even though off 2.3, almost 2.4 years.   Now I am petrified of taking any sort of medication.  Doctor prescribed a high blood pressure pill Candesartan 16mgs. but I just take half that.  I have been taking it for four days and I am so afraid of side effects from that.

 

I suffer with distorted vision and blurred vision due to withdrawals.  I am so afraid this medication will make it worse....

 

I want to stop taking it because I think my anxiety is worse because I am worrying too much about this stuff....

 

I don't have high blood pressure, never did...but now it is high due to very severe anxiety.  I am rambling today....cause I am so frightened I don't know what to do...

 

I see my doctor on the 10th and I was thinking maybe stop this until I see him then.  It is only four days I am taking it.

 

My God these side effects from withdrawal seem to be getting worse, not better...there doesn't seem to be much hope for me...

 

Love

Lee

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divalee

I forgot to mention the pharmacist did not help she doesn't believe in protracted (long term) side effects from SSRIs    my endocrinologist does.....but when you here a pharmacist or doctor say they don't believe it .....it makes you feel that you will be like this for the rest of your life - because what can it be then....

 

 

xxxx

 

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LoveandLight

Approaching year three divalee..think a lot of healing will happen :)

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Pugknows

Lee, most of us are so paranoid about taking ANY meds after what we've been going through.

 

Do you take your blood pressure throughout the day at home? Blood pressure spikes are very common during withdrawal, probably due to anxiety. If your BP is dangerously high and stays high, I would take the BP med. If it fluctuates between normal and a little above normal, you could wait until your next doctor visit.

 

My BP has always been on the low normal side my whole life, like 117/72. During this withdrawal, it's higher. Usually 135/80+. I was just at the doctor yesterday, and my BP was 145/85 and my heart rate was 107. The doctor wasn't the least bit concerned. I was, but then who am I to question the doctor? Ha!

 

Even my high readings are not high enough to put me on BP meds. How high is your blood pressure? Is it consistently high or normal with high spikes?

 

I totally get how this is just adding to your anxiety. Try not to let it worry you. I know. Easier said than done.

 

Hang in there, sweetheart. Love, Pug

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divalee

LoveandLight

 

Thank you  just those few words is all I needed.....luv, Lee

 

xxxx

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divalee

Hello Pug

 

the systolic higher reading would go up as far as 175 but the diastolic would be either in the 80s or 70s....always okay  But the Systolic was pretty much high...but then it would go back to normal, but not as much as it should have.

 

I will see what he says on the 10th.   Lately my anxiety seems to be worse than ever, and my vision is blurred and distorted from WDs I sure hope that goes away.

 

Thank you Pug you are a precious shining gem in the darkness.

Love

Lee

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Pugknows

Love you, Lee.

 

The anxiety is the worst of all the symptoms. It's the cause of the other ones too!

 

We're going to get beyond this, Lee, and when we do, let's treat ourselves to a week's vacation somewhere peaceful where we can walk to local restaurants, have a glass of wine and toast our new healthy selves!

 

You're going to accelerate like a healing rocket in the next few months. This will all be behind you. You'll never even remember the suffering, just that it was some kind of weird hell you went through for awhile.

 

I have faith, Lee. I feel the healing in you and in me. We are stronger than any of the pills we took. That's over now. We are taking back the steering wheel of our lives. Just a little more time.

 

Pug hugs.

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KarenB

Hi Divalee,

 

Just reading through your thread and noticing the anxiety that affects you, so wanted to quickly share because I get horrid anxiety too.

 

My best remedy is to have a hot bath with epsom salts.  Hot as you can, it is so soothing.  Plus the epsom salts actually decrease blood pressure a little, so another good reason for a nice soak.

 

Also, listening to music is a good way to try to get out of an anxious cycle of thoughts.  I use music during the night if I wake up with anxiety.

 

You are not alone in this,

Hugs

Karen

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AliG

 Lee,

 

I agree with Karen. I think  the epsom salt bath is "the best".  I also think music is so good for the "soul", but it can also be very relaxing. I know you love music, so  I hope you already use  it as an aid in your recovery.   I don't know if you've tried "meditation" or "qi gong" . There are many here, who find it helpful. However , if you can't commit to that, simple "deep breathing" helps.

 

Another thought is Magnesium Citrate, dissolved in water.  Drink , during the day or whenever needed.   I have been using it at night , as a "sleep aid", and it is helping. Magnesium  rocks !!  LOL .

 

I hope you find an answer. I understand about not wanting to go on the drugs ( blood pressure). I haven't researched those , as I've never had the problem, but I'm sure they're just like the rest, with their "inherant"  side effects, &  associated problems. 

 

Ali. :)

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divalee

Dear Pug

What strength you send and give me...and hope.   Yes we will do this together, we will help each other, all of us.  I only took this blood pressure pill for 5 days, I think I will stop taking it til I see my doctor on the 10th .

 

Love

Lee

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AliG

Just another thought. Yoga would be great for you , too.

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divalee

Karen

 

Yes I will take your advice and try the Epsom Salt bath.  I heard that it is very good for you.

 

Karen I am a musician -  I sing at weddings, and parties -  I cant do it now though, cant do anything much now....I play piano and guitar....listen to Andre Rieu, he inspires me.

 

My soul is music and music is my soul.   When one is artistic - it seems it is even harder - 

 

Thank you so much - I hope you are doing okay.....

 

Love

Lee

 

When the dog bites

When he Bee Stings

When Im feeling sad

 

I simply remember my favourite things

And then I don't .....feel....so......bad

 

xxx

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divalee

AliG

 

Yes I will do the Epsom Salts.  I have stopped taking the blood pressure pill til I see my doctor on the 10th September...

 

Thank you for your support and hope....Where else do people understand what we are going through but here.....

 

Stay well and I wish you...enough

 

Love

Lee

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AliG

 Thanks Lee. :)

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divalee

Hello Everyone

 

It has been so hot here 40C  around 106F  for the past few days.  We had a reprieve from it for a week but now it is back.  It is suppose to start getting cooler end of week.  I sure hope so.

 

I think I read somewhere that some of us feel worse when it is very hot .  I know I do. 

 

I just wanted to ask if any one has  night sweats.  Mine or so bad.  The sheets are soaking and so am I  it is horrible...at least 3 times during the night and early morning.  I read that it is the withdrawal from Zoloft that is doing this.  But it has been going on for months now and I am starting to worry it could be something else although all my tests came back all normal.

 

Also this visual distortion and blurriness ....and a feeling of  >not being here<  is that DP.....day after day after day  with my head pressure and pins and needles -  blocked ears.....light headedness.

 

It is so strange because when I was  tapering I felt fine - no depression, no anxiety. I did have the symptoms I do now but very minimal. 

 

I went off Zoloft May 17, 2013  and for a good 4- 5 months again I had symptoms but not severe.  Then after that they started to get worse and worse.  I had very few windows.....Now starting around the 17th month off they really got bad, no windows, just suffering day after day.

 

I am off now on September 17, 2015  2 years and 4 months and no let up.  I am starting to wonder if it will ever go away.

 

So getting back to the Sweating and Visual distortion and blurriness....has someone here gone through this. 

 

Just losing a bit of hope is all.

 

Thank you for listening  xxxx love this place

Love

Lee (f)

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Skyler

It has been so hot here 40C  around 106F  for the past few days.  We had a reprieve from it for a week but now it is back.  It is suppose to start getting cooler end of week.  I sure hope so.

 

Hey Lee... how did it come you guys are so hot.  It got to 95 here (Burlington) yesterday, but no hotter... I always figure you folks are 5 to 10 degrees cooler than we are here... Not!   :blink:

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divalee

Skylar  it isn't usually this hot....usually about the same as you..but this year it has been terrible

 

xxx

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Skylarblue75

Hi diva, to answer your questions about the horrible drenching night sweats, I have had them since jan 2013, they eased up slightly for awhile, now their back with a vengeance. I'll be turning 40 in November so I think hormones are playing some what into this. I have everything you describe, and more and it's been nonstop for 3 years now, the only a/d I was on for 10 years was celexa and was c/t off in November of 2011. A lot of my hard core symptoms didn't show up until 9 months off celexa and it was down hill from there. I had a lot of drugs thrown at me between August of 2012 up until May of 2014. I'm soon to be 16 months off my last med in a few days and I'm getting dressed sicker by the day. I don't know what to think anymore either. Just wanted to say your not alone with what your experiencing.

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divalee

aww Skylarblue  I am so sorry for you =  but I am so happy I know someone who has gone and is going through the same thing I am going through because it makes me have hope again..

 

We will get through it Sky - just you wait and see - we will....Pug will help us she is the gem of light in the darkest of nights.

 

Much love

Lee

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Pugknows

(((Diva)))

 

Hold on, sweetheart. You are going through the "turning point" wave. You are going to come out on the other side of this tsunami healed! You watch and see. It is time for you to start seeing remarkable improvements. You may even have the "light switch" recovery where everything comes back online all at once. It will happen. I just know it.

 

Love, Pug

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divalee

Love you Pug

You are my inspiration and everyone elses too.

 

We stick together and you just watch us    all of us......

 

Love

Lee

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laineyk

Lee, Hi I am Lainey and I am being slammed with the same symptoms you describe and it is getting worse. I have only been off almost 14 weeks

 

I walk around all day trying to find ways to relieve the head weirdness...but nothing helps

 

I just wanted to say that I am here with you and I need friends on this board desperately right now

 

because no one believes its the Zoloft..most ppl say its the lorazepam and I am not sure what is what

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AliG

 Hi Lee,

 

Thanks for the words of  encouragement , on my thread.

 

Did you try the "dissolved" Magnesium ? 

 

I love Pug's comparison , with a " tsunami".  So cool,  but so true !!

 

Hang on.   Ali.

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divalee

Just came back from my Endocrinologist and he said it doesn't believe I have WDs they should have been gone a long time ago......I am so upset   well what it is that I have then.....

 

Also my thyroid is normal due to the synthroid I take....

 

Please tell me it is withdrawals  else what is it......

 

Night Sweats, distorted vision, anxiety, crying, lightheadnedness,  pins and needles face, head, pressure bridge of nose...head pressure =  depression somewhat....blocked ears -  blood pressure goes from very high to normal...depends on how my anxiety is.....

 

What else can it be.  I know my GP said it could possible be...he sort of believes it.  Why do doctors not believe what we are going through....

 

I need some encouragement, please.

 

thank you

Love

Lee (f)

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apace41

What else can it be.  I know my GP said it could possible be...he sort of believes it.  Why do doctors not believe what we are going through....

 

 

Lee,

 

Reread what you wrote.  That says it all.  If you've had all this other testing and nothing else fits, then withdrawal is what is at the core.  Whether the endocrinologist believes it or not is pretty much irrelevant.  You see enough examples of others on S/A in the same boat as you -- I wouldn't spend a ton more time and money looking for other answers.

 

Just be as good to yourself as you can and keep coming here for support.

 

Thoughts with you,

 

Andy

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divalee

Bless you Space....Just needed to hear it again.  I know our hopes rise so quickly when we receive so much hope from this group.  It just makes me feel embarrassed  when I need to be reminded again and again...Still it helps so, so much.  One day I wont be so frightened and ask less and less.....xxx

 

Thank you so Much

Love

Lee

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