AprilShowers: My Story, My Nightmare, My Hopes For Recovery

[AprilShowers]

Another bad night. My heart rate was up at 136. I think as I can't escape the frequency getting some kind of beta blocker might be my only option now or I think I will have a heart attack. 

[Catina7]

1 hour ago, AprilShowers said:

Another bad night. My heart rate was up at 136. I think as I can't escape the frequency getting some kind of beta blocker might be my only option now or I think I will have a heart attack. 

 

I'm so sorry!  Please proceed cautiously as I see you had a bad reaction to a Beta Blocker back in 2017.  I hope things settle down for you soon.

[AprilShowers]

12 hours ago, Catina7 said:

 

I'm so sorry!  Please proceed cautiously as I see you had a bad reaction to a Beta Blocker back in 2017.  I hope things settle down for you soon.

Yes, I hadn't re-read my notes but I see now it wasn't ideal. However am currently full of adrenaline again because of this low hz frequency that feels like torture.

I have just tried a little inositol as I remember that was quite good against the shakes in the past.. although this particular trigger I have not experienced until recently. I think the sound is low hz, perhaps beneath or just beneath normal hearing range but I've been reading about bone conduction once sound gets below a certain level so I think that's why I can't block it out with earplugs and it's still triggering my adrenaline even in my sleep.

This afternoon when it was not happening I was okay, felt more brave, now I want to escape my body and feel quite desperate. I trusted with the windows and waves of withdrawal that I would get better in time.. this.. I don't know it could just keep happening forever my CNS feels so broken by it. Trying hard not to catastrophize it but I do feel awful and the more hours I endure it the more awful I feel. Getting scant rest, scant food as it's hard to eat and I have dry mouth and slight nausea and finding it hard to control my urine which I assume is another adrenaline response. 

[AprilShowers]

I'm just going to leave this link here to show it is a real thing that the adrenals can be fired off by a frequency.. maybe withdrawal made me more succepible to this as it feels very like the withdrawal shakes I went through. 

 

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0154167 

 

 

[Catina7]

11 minutes ago, AprilShowers said:

I'm just going to leave this link here to show it is a real thing that the adrenals can be fired off by a frequency.. maybe withdrawal made me more succepible to this as it feels very like the withdrawal shakes I went through. 

 

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0154167 

 

 

 

I'm glad you found this!  Aren't there devices you can buy and steps you can take to block EMF exposure?  You might want to Google this.  

[AprilShowers]

I saw the GP today after the mental health team referred me, they're worried about my blood pressure, blood glucose and especially extended periods of my heart rate spiking from these adrenaline rushes. It's been really hard to contemplate taking a medication again and if it was just a wave that would pass I wouldn't but with my nervous system overreacting to an outside trigger there's no end in sight and I'm in the third week and getting sicker. 

The GP was more understanding than I had anticipated about my reluctance to take pills that might make me worse and went through my options with me. She has given me a 25mg dose of atenolol which is a water soluable beta blocker that shouldn't cross the blood/brain barrier as much. 

I've tried to cut the first one in half, one half kind of crumbled so I might try a very small amount first and try and work out how much is enough. I'll update my signature once I know. 

 

[AprilShowers]

Half an atenolol is not quite enough to stop the shaking after I've been exposed to this frequency/vibration from next door for long hours/overnight and am still producing adrenaline surges but it does seem to help lessen my shaking and has brought my heart rate down to less dangerous levels. I've had some side effects like blurry vision and feeling cold that I hope will be temporary.  

 

Am pondering whether to increase to the whole 25mg dose. It's really difficult to split the pills and maybe the full dose will help eliminate the remainder of the shakes.

 

Environmental health are going to visit the property next door but not for another three weeks and may still not be able to help me with a low frequency issue. I could be facing years of torment. The weekends are particularly bad. 

 

Feeling like I will never be free of WD symptoms because my system is so oversensitized. 

 

 

[Catina7]

2 hours ago, AprilShowers said:

Half an atenolol is not quite enough to stop the shaking after I've been exposed to this frequency/vibration from next door for long hours/overnight and am still producing adrenaline surges but it does seem to help lessen my shaking and has brought my heart rate down to less dangerous levels. I've had some side effects like blurry vision and feeling cold that I hope will be temporary.  

 

Am pondering whether to increase to the whole 25mg dose. It's really difficult to split the pills and maybe the full dose will help eliminate the remainder of the shakes.

 

Environmental health are going to visit the property next door but not for another three weeks and may still not be able to help me with a low frequency issue. I could be facing years of torment. The weekends are particularly bad. 

 

Feeling like I will never be free of WD symptoms because my system is so oversensitized. 

 

 

 

It's so hard to know what to do sometimes and how our bodies will react to a new drug when our systems are already sensitized.  You were smart in starting with a small dose.  I hope you can get to a place where life is bearable again.  It's a tough spot to be in, and I'm so sorry that you're suffering the way that you are.  Sending you big hugs! 

[AprilShowers]

I'm sticking with the half tablet of atenolol for now but I'm still getting some morning shaking.. not sure if that's because of the frequency having slept with it all night or because of the half life of the atenolol and it's wearing off too quick. As I'm shaking way less than before I started taking it I'm going to call it the frequency's fault for now. 

 

I'm feeling very run down despite the atenolol easing the symptoms and I'm really struggling to eat because my body is still producing so much adrenaline and I can't swallow and while sleeping a bit more not sleeping enough so am physically very weak right now. 

 

 

[Catina7]

1 hour ago, AprilShowers said:

I'm shaking way less than before I started taking it

 

1 hour ago, AprilShowers said:

while sleeping a bit more

 

I'm glad to hear this, even though I know overall you're still struggling.  Celebrate the tiny little victories that you do get, no matter how small they seem.  You are continuing to find ways to make things better for yourself so be proud of that and keep going the best you can.  I'm rooting for you!  😊

[AprilShowers]

Thank you, that means a lot. 

 

[AprilShowers]

So, I had a lot of appointments this week. The mental health team asked me to be interviewed by an early diagnosis psychosis team who have thankfully ruled out any psychosis with me being affected by this freqency that nobody else seems to be affected by or able to hear. So I suppose that's good. I also saw my doctor who has said I can take more beta blocker if I need to take a dose twice a day to prevent any 'wearing off' of the relief I'm getting from the adrenaline surges. Blood tests came back mostly normal, I'm a bit borderline on iron and she's changed my metformin dose to twice a day instead of three times so that I'm not missing out as much when I can't eat. 

I'm still getting used to the atenolol, I think being very cautious and only taking half a pill was meaning it was wearing off by morning and I still had some shakes probably co-inciding with morning cortisol, or maybe it's just from sleeping with that frequency happening.. hard to tell because my system has been in total overdrive for weeks.

Yesterday I decided (reluctantly) to up the atenolol dose to a full 25g tablet (the smallest prescription dose) which I'm taking at 8pm ish and I wasn't shuddering this morning but it's early days yet so we'll see how that goes and I'll keep my fingers crossed. I do feel a bit trembly in general from them, I have quite low mood with all this going on, and I'm extremely exhausted and getting cold at times but beta blockers have side effects that wear off as you get more used to them so I don't know I guess it's a case of just persevering and hoping I made the right decision. My heart rate and blood pressure are at less alarming levels at least, it's eased the worst of the shaking and helped me finally eat and sleep a little so I'm prepared to stay on the drug for quite some time while I'm trying to cope with this frequency issue. Things still seem bleak and I'm still suffering and feeling hopeless. I don't know what to do so I'm just pausing for now and will work on getting through one day at a time. 
 

[Catina7]

14 hours ago, AprilShowers said:

I'm just pausing for now and will work on getting through one day at a time

 

Thanks for the update.  Sometimes that's all we can do...just tackle one day at a time.   At least you've had a slight improvement in the shaking and can eat and sleep a little, so those are all great things!  Hang in there @AprilShowers!  Sending you hugs. ❤️

[AprilShowers]

Thank you so much. It's the most bizarre kind of nightmare, I have no idea what to do next. 

[AprilShowers]

Just an update. Environmental health visited the house next door and can't fathom what is making the low frequency vibration and can't do anything about it mostly because under the current legislation there's not much they can do, so while they're going to hopefully visit the property next door more often, for now I'm stuck with the low frequency. I don't know why I'm having such and exaggerated physical reaction, I can only assume that since the cold turkey antidepressant withdrawal my autonomic nervous system is perhaps permanently in overdrive and will always be oversensitive. While I've never been sensitive to sound before, the adrenaline surges were intense and unbearable. 

 

Fortunately now I'm up to full dose the atenolol beta blockers are working to stop those shakes from too much adrenaline, I don't know if this would work for a wave, but for oversensitive adrenal response it seems to have helped for now at least and I'm no loger shaking at all. I'm able to eat again pretty normally (slightly less appetite) and sleep for a while and am feeling less desperate and my happiness is slowly coming back. The noise is still very annoying and I can't switch it off but minimising the physical response has helped a lot. I think I will just have to stay on the beta blockers long term and hope they don't turn paradoxical on me in future. I know if I have to come off them I will likely experience withdrawal waves again so if I do need to I'll have to taper very very slowly. 

As things stand for now I can sort of start living normaly again. Grateful for all the support and information from this forum, it really helped me to make informed decisions. 

 

 

[Catina7]

3 hours ago, AprilShowers said:

Just an update. Environmental health visited the house next door and can't fathom what is making the low frequency vibration and can't do anything about it mostly because under the current legislation there's not much they can do, so while they're going to hopefully visit the property next door more often, for now I'm stuck with the low frequency. I don't know why I'm having such and exaggerated physical reaction, I can only assume that since the cold turkey antidepressant withdrawal my autonomic nervous system is perhaps permanently in overdrive and will always be oversensitive. While I've never been sensitive to sound before, the adrenaline surges were intense and unbearable. 

 

Fortunately now I'm up to full dose the atenolol beta blockers are working to stop those shakes from too much adrenaline, I don't know if this would work for a wave, but for oversensitive adrenal response it seems to have helped for now at least and I'm no loger shaking at all. I'm able to eat again pretty normally (slightly less appetite) and sleep for a while and am feeling less desperate and my happiness is slowly coming back. The noise is still very annoying and I can't switch it off but minimising the physical response has helped a lot. I think I will just have to stay on the beta blockers long term and hope they don't turn paradoxical on me in future. I know if I have to come off them I will likely experience withdrawal waves again so if I do need to I'll have to taper very very slowly. 

As things stand for now I can sort of start living normaly again. Grateful for all the support and information from this forum, it really helped me to make informed decisions. 

 

 

 

Thanks for the update.  It's nice to hear that you are having some improvements in some areas and are able to move forward a bit with your life...that's HUGE!  I hope you continue to make progress with your recovery and find ways to make things bearable.  We're all here for each other!  😊 ❤️ 

[AprilShowers]

Having been on the atenolol a while now I think I've adjusted to it although my heart rate is still going up at times in response to the noise. I can eat and sleep now though which is bliss, but not as much as I was before the noise and I can still hear/feel it which is still affecting me to some extent. I've had some pain in my lower back each side so I wonder if my adrenal glands are still troubled even though I'm not feeling the effects as much. 

 

I have found some ways other than breathing to stimulate the vagus nerve (on TikTok of all places) things like butterfly tapping, eye movements and EFT but the thing that really works for me is stroking down the side of my neck until I feel like I want to yawn. For some reason this works better on my right side than the left but I want to learn more ways because having an easilly triggered dysregulated nervous system is not fun and if I can heal it or reset it some way I'm very into the idea of that. 

 

[Catina7]

Hi @AprilShowers, it's nice to get an update from you!  I'm glad you're finding more ways to make your symptoms more endurable.  I've found that doing a vagus nerve "reset" exercise gives me a little relief.  That's interesting about stroking the side of your neck, I might have to try that one.

 

Yes, having a dysregulated nervous system stinks.  We feel broken and it's not fun!  May you and I both continue to find ways to cope the best we can.

 

Sending you a hug!

 

Catina ❤️