Ali: Too late to stop meds?

[KarenB]

I get lightheaded when I make a reduction, or on days when I over-do it physically.  I haven't found a remedy except to take things really easy. 

 

Hmm, just got the following from the Drug Interactions Checker (I've highlighted part in red):

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interactions between your selected drugs

Moderate lamotrigine escitalopram

Applies to: Lamictal (lamotrigine), escitalopram

Using lamoTRIgine together with escitalopram may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

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[Ali]

I get lightheaded when I make a reduction, or on days when I over-do it physically.  I haven't found a remedy except to take things really easy. 

 

Hmm, just got the following from the Drug Interactions Checker (I've highlighted part in red):

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Interactions between your selected drugs

Moderate

 

lamotrigine escitalopram

Applies to: Lamictal (lamotrigine), escitalopram

 

Using lamoTRIgine together with escitalopram may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and difficulty concentrating. Some people, especially the elderly, may also experience impairment in thinking, judgment, and motor coordination. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Also avoid activities requiring mental alertness such as driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was aware of the interactions, not sure the doc was.... Maybe I'm feeling it more strongly now. Who knows?

 

I get so frustrated with all of this, the depression, the meds. I've had one of those days ruminating, trying to make sense of it all. How is it possible to wake up feeling low when the day hasn't even begun? Did I dream something? Did I interrupt my sleep cycle in the wrong place? Was it a good night, a bad night?

 

I thought today of a mood tracker I used when I was really depressed. I thought, why don't I design my own using graph paper and I might find the elusive answer to this "problem". Then I thought of all the variables I'd want to add and which could possibly affect my mood (and wondered if there was a piece of graph paper big enough). And then I reminded myself of past experience, that whenever I've tried to spot links, they're not there. In fact, the only thing that links it all is the fact I breathe

 

I went to my child's parents evening. Now and then I would lose track of what the teacher was saying, and I'd be looking at them wondering if they ever got depressed, or being thankful that I wasn't a teacher because just sitting there with a mask on for 3 hours would be soooo exhausting for me.

 

Finally, and I'm just going on now, I started reading Critical Psychiatry and thought, I must send this to my pdoc. And then I thought, why should I pay to educate him? But more than that, what would he do even if he hadn't read it? what do any of them do if they read this literature? They're either going to be too indoctrinated for it to make a blind bit of difference, or, even if they do opt for the truth (and how many psychiatrists have I ever met who admitted they were wrong.....tick....tock...), would they give up a career over it? For the majority, I think not.

[KarenB]

The reason we often wake up feeling bad in w/d is because that's when our cortisol is running strong and so it ramps up our symptoms, including emotional ones.  Then it eases over the course of the day. 

[AliG]

Ali.  Please don't worry , too much . This is all " normal " withdrawal  symptoms. This might take a while . Breathe and be patient !  We all get " wacky symptoms" .

[Ali]

Thanks Karen and Ali.

 

I'm not entirely convinced it's withdrawal. It's difficult to see how such small changes to drugs can have this impact, although I guess from reading what's on here, it can and does. Always at the back of my mind I'm fearing it's relapse. I've had another rather ropey day and I certainly feel more reactive at work, getting riled more easily. I wonder if people notice. It's easier when an event triggers your mood. It's when it seems to come from nowhere that I get more worries. I'm trying not to analyse it.

 

I felt so stable a couple of days ago. I thought, great, I'm fine, I'll be able to reduce soon. Ho Ho ho!!

 

I just want to laugh and cry. Sorry this isn't very positive, it feels hopeless.

[AliG]

Not hopeless, Ali. Just windows and waves . Of course , it's withdrawal . As you read around , you will realize small changes can have a huge impact .  It's not relapse.  It sounds like " neuro - emotions " !   Perfectly " normal " ! ( in withdrawal ) .

Ali

[leahy]

I've been feeling pretty good lately. So I went to Costco. More than one time someone would invariably stop their  cart at a diagnol so I couldn't pass. Or tale gate me. I wanted to yell at them using curse words. I did not do that but I was very aware of my impatient 'mood'. 

 

It is absolutely wd related. I read this every day here and other places. I've leaned to pay attention to my breathing. In and out, slowly. That's as close as I've gotten to meditation. I do think the breathing thing helps.

 

Are you getting any sun and exercise, Ali? That makes a bigger difference than one could imagine.

 

Please don't think your depression is coming back. These drugs are the problem. Get out there in the sun, exercise, eat well, sleep well and enjoy whatever relationships you can nurture right now. And breathe.

[AliG]

Leahy.   You're a star !     Ali . That is such good advice.  Sun & exercise  is paramount , in this process of weaning off drugs to something real  ( non - drug ) that is sustainable in the long term . Also , meditation / yoga   etc.  Walking in the sun , is ideal . Two for one . Win /win  !

Ali

[Ali]

Everyone on here just seems to know how to give good advice. Thank you!!! You don't know what a difference it makes to feel understood, without really having to explain.

 

Leah, I had to laugh at the supermarket story, it was brilliant. it just makes me laugh that we probably look so serene on the outside and yet we're cursing under our breath and trying to keep it together long enough until we can crawl back to the safety of home.

I saw friends earlier and just couldn't be bothered to make small talk. I thought, I should ask about that, and then I thought, nah, too much effort. What was the quote from Inside Out? "Why does life have to be so interactive?"

 

Sun you say??? Yes, I have heard of its existence!! I'm sure I've seen it in pictures too...

 

I do need to get out more. And get out of feeling sorry for myself. I can think of lots of excuses but I know you know them all - heavy limbs, wanting to hide etc etc. I know I need to do it regardless of how I feel. I think I've wasted the day ruminating on "depression" and what is happening to me, rather than taking the mindful approach. At least that awareness is progress, right?

 

I've started taking Well Woman - just in case I have a Well Woman deficiency in my brain . Tomorrow I'll aim to go for a walk in the afternoon, rather than crawl under the covers. And, there's every possibility I'll wake up feeling super duper.

 

Quote of the day from my mindfulness cd, "As long as you're breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you".

(Not sure whoever came up with that has ever felt depressed!!!

 

Thanks again, you're stars✨⭐.

[leahy]

Mmmm hmmm. No sun = bad depression. You can go out for short periods -5 minutes, then 10 minutes. Tell yourself that's all. You can work up to 15 or 20 minutes. Take the first step. Baby steps.

 

You sure got the scenario in my head at the supermarket right! I'm laughing myself.

 

L

[Ali]

LEahy, you haven't spent time in the UK, have you? Sunshine is almost a myth!!

 

The following is just my notes, not asking for, or expecting words from anyone. I just need a record of where I'm at:

 

Not sure what I'm expecting to feel anymore. I am sure my mood is more stable, but in a low state. When was the last day I felt great???

 

Am I damned? The drug doesn't work since reinstating, so my only options are a return to the doctor for more drugs (over my dead body, and that will throw me into a depression in itself), or to stick this out. But "sticking it out" suggests it is going to get better and now I'm not so sure. I would say I've entered a state of a generally depressed mood.

 

I remember when I was in a bad way a few years ago, and I would wake up and either feel so bad, or dread the feeling descending upon me and getting worse as the day wore on. It's happening again. My heart sinks when I wake on some days and I feel that horrible feeling, and the day stretches out ahead of me, and I think, "How on earth will I get through the next hour, let alone the day".

 

Feeling depressed is so physical. I once saw it described as "lying at the bottom of the ocean with a gorilla on your chest".

 

Anyway, at least I managed to get outdoors for a couple of hours! and for a short run. I did feel a bit better after that.

[leahy]

Oh Ali! I am so proud of you that you got out! Yes, I have heard from my friends that the UK tends to be cloudy. But the sun is still giving you light during the day and light helps.

 

If we are going to make it we need to have other solutions to surviving depression. If you are feeling low keep trying whatever you can to climb out of that. For example, I have a sunlamp just in case it helps. People swear by it. I have experimented with all kinds of supplements - just in case they help. I'm not suggesting any of those things for you but the point is I keep reading and learning and trying. Or I know I will not make it. I want to make it. But it's not easy.

 

God knows. It's not easy. Not at all.

 

Leahy

[Hibari]

As my dear friend Leahy says above "If we are going to make it we need to have other solutions to surviving depression. If you are feeling low keep trying whatever you can to climb out of that".

 

It's really true and there have been so many times I have had to fake my way into doing something, walking, taking a bath, meeting a friend who is not draining and doing all sorts of body work to help my nervous system stabilize.   Are there any resources like that for you where you live?  Acupuncture, massage, pedicure, reflexology, hands on healing?  I mention these because I have found that receiving energy is just as important as expending it on things that make us feel better.

 

You will get through this Ali. 

[leahy]

Hey Ali,

 

You may have already seen this, but I get such a kick out of this video. I'm posting it here for you.

 

http://www.outsideonline.com/2010526/we-wish-more-doctors-prescribed

[KarenB]

Hey Ali,

 

Just read right through your thread, and I see that you're really miserable in all this and therefore understandably keen to make a change to bring relief. 

 

The hardest thing to have to tell people on here is that there's no fast relief.  I think, from your sig., that your last dose change was in November?  So three months ago.  That's not actually very long after such a lot of dose changes, to allow for stabilisation. 

 

I know that 'keep waiting' is crappy to hear, but it's what your CNS needs. 

 

Do you have something you are doing to help manage the depression? 

[Ali]

Oh Ali! I am so proud of you that you got out! Yes, I have heard from my friends that the UK tends to be cloudy. But the sun is still giving you light during the day and light helps.

 

If we are going to make it we need to have other solutions to surviving depression. If you are feeling low keep trying whatever you can to climb out of that. For example, I have a sunlamp just in case it helps. People swear by it. I have experimented with all kinds of supplements - just in case they help. I'm not suggesting any of those things for you but the point is I keep reading and learning and trying. Or I know I will not make it. I want to make it. But it's not easy.

 

God knows. It's not easy. Not at all.

 

Leahy

Thank you Leahy & Ali.  I do have a sun lamp which I use during the deep winter.  I did come to the conclusion fixing it to my head and having it shine in my eyes the whole day would be needed in an ideal world! 

 

I love getting outdoors. Usually.  The woods is a tranquil and rejuvenating place for me.  Exercise used to be my staple and made me feel so much better, but I can't do much of that as I get terrible neck/back problems which have ruled out almost everything I've tried.  Even pilates and yoga.  It's very frustrating and I sometimes get upset about it, especially when friends start to harp on about their active lifestyles.  I take pregabalin for the pain.  I reduced the dose last year so it's not as effective, but I just don't like taking all these medications. And prolonged use of pregabalin can cause depression. Maybe that's a factor too, who can tell?!  Anyway, I've just ordered some magnesium to try and help with my pain, so that might be a way forward. I'm also trying to do short bursts around the house, like running up and down the stairs and dancing around to music (not when the kids are about!!).

 

I'm doing mindfulness about 2-3/ week and want to build up to everyday eventually. I think a turning point will be when I can rest with the feeling and not try to escape or analyse it, react to it with negative thoughts.  The depressed feelings trigger off all my thoughts about the illness, how to get better, what's wrong with me, the meds, the doctors.  I don't think any of it helps. What annoys me too, is that all these years with being indoctrinated by doctors means that one medicalises everything.  I know people who have down days and they just accept it as a down day and move on.  For me, a down day is immediately associated with "illness", and I blame the doctors for that, "you're relapsing...you're very fragile...you need the medication...you have a lifelong illness...they make you feel better, so why don't you just take them...". I really like my psychiatrist, and he was really helpful when I was very ill, but I am NEVER going back to see him, unless I can't convince the GP to give me what I need.

 

So I feel like I'm trying to help myself.  Today I don't feel so bad.  Not great, flat, but that's better than it has been.  This is all a bit 50 shades of sh*t, I find.  

 

Sorry if my posts have seemed all doom and gloom.  I really don't sit around unless it's a bad day and my whole body is heavy, and even then, I still have to work and make tea for the family etc.So I think I am fairly active.

 

Anyway, onwards and upwards, time to jump around for a bit.

 

Thanks for all your support.

[Ali]

Hey Ali,

 

Just read right through your thread, and I see that you're really miserable in all this and therefore understandably keen to make a change to bring relief. 

 

The hardest thing to have to tell people on here is that there's no fast relief.  I think, from your sig., that your last dose change was in November?  So three months ago.  That's not actually very long after such a lot of dose changes, to allow for stabilisation. 

 

I know that 'keep waiting' is crappy to hear, but it's what your CNS needs. 

 

Do you have something you are doing to help manage the depression? 

Hi Karen

 

Thanks for your post.  My last dose change was actually in January, so maybe it was too much for my system, reinstating one drug in November and then reducing another in January (my lamactil).  I think because coming off the antid backfired, I just thought I'd try lamactil again in my desperation to be drug free.  That was before I found this site.  I know now that it was too soon, but I'm still glad I did it. I suppose I was just hoping to have more days of feeling a bit better by now.  And even if I don't feel better, I hope I'm not waiting until I do, in order to move on.

 

I'm hoping that my feelings are normal for withdrawal.  I keep wondering if everyone else on here is in withdrawal because they appear to be following a pattern of feeling crap and then ok again, whereas I am not in withdrawal but returning to a depressive state.

 

Anyway, in my post above, I am trying my best to be proactive around the depression, but any more suggestions are welcome.

Ali

[leahy]

When you go outside Ali you don't have to be active if you don't feel up to it. A gentle walk would or or rocking in a rocking chair on the porch or just sitting on the porch or standing or walking around your yard.  We need the light to stimulate the pineal gland.

[Ali]

As my dear friend Leahy says above "If we are going to make it we need to have other solutions to surviving depression. If you are feeling low keep trying whatever you can to climb out of that".

 

It's really true and there have been so many times I have had to fake my way into doing something, walking, taking a bath, meeting a friend who is not draining and doing all sorts of body work to help my nervous system stabilize.   Are there any resources like that for you where you live?  Acupuncture, massage, pedicure, reflexology, hands on healing?  I mention these because I have found that receiving energy is just as important as expending it on things that make us feel better.

 

You will get through this Ali.

 

Sorry Hibari, I didn't thank you for this. LOL- I like the friend caveat (who is not draining!!!). I have tried acupuncture before. That was for my neck. Do you think it works for depression? I am a Christian, so I do go up for prayer and recently someone did pray for healing of memories. I am going to keep asking for prayer but it's a tricky one to tell people you want to be off your meds, particularly if you feel low, because as we all know, the knee jerk reaction is, "Go back on your meds, listen to the doc". Having said that, you get some christians who totally get it and believe in total healing and the lack of need for meds. I'll have to conduct interviews by the door until I find the right person! I appreciate not everyone will get the God thing, which is why I haven't mentioned it to date, but I do have hope.

 

I am having week off next week, so I'm going on retreat on Tuesday. I'm hoping it'll be a time to reflect and rejuvenate. I think I'll book a decent massage too. I'm sure hands on stroking has some healing effect. I remember being really ill and asking this masseuse to just stroke my face. She probably thought I was really weird, but I didn't really care back then.

 

I love that bit you wrote about receiving energy being as important as expending it. Everyone on here puts things so much more eloquently than me...

 

Thank you for telling me I'll get through.

 

Today has continued on a level. Phew. A little shelter from the storm.

 

jUst to finish off, I was talking to a nurse at work re people reducing a/d's. it was so annoying. He said to switch to every other day of 50mg sertraline, and I asked if that was in the clinical guidelines, her every other day business. No response to that. He then went on to say it was such a small dose that it wouldn't matter if the drug was just stopped, and that if symptoms returned... Well you can guess the rest. Of course, I had to keep calm and play a little ignorant, but inside I was screaming at him. No clue at all. None of them.

[Ali]

When you go outside Ali you don't have to be active if you don't feel up to it. A gentle walk would or or rocking in a rocking chair on the porch or just sitting on the porch or standing or walking around your yard.  We need the light to stimulate the pineal gland.

ROFL. Leahy, I'm going to invite you over here. No-one has a porch with a rocking chair. it's something from films for us. Let me tell you, there are about 30 days/year (and that might be being a bit generous) when we can sit out and enjoy the sun. I kid you not. It sounds SOOOO idyllic though, especially the rocking chair.

 

You're definitely right about the light. I think that's why people suffer from SAD in the winter. The lack of light affects a lot of people here.

 

[leahy]

 

When you go outside Ali you don't have to be active if you don't feel up to it. A gentle walk would or or rocking in a rocking chair on the porch or just sitting on the porch or standing or walking around your yard.  We need the light to stimulate the pineal gland.

ROFL. Leahy, I'm going to invite you over here. No-one has a porch with a rocking chair. it's something from films for us. Let me tell you, there are about 30 days/year (and that might be being a bit generous) when we can sit out and enjoy the sun. I kid you not. It sounds SOOOO idyllic though, especially the rocking chair.

 

You're definitely right about the light. I think that's why people suffer from SAD in the winter. The lack of light affects a lot of people here.

 

Whether or not you have a porch or a rocking chair does not matter. There is nothing idyllic about my thinking. I do not have any preconceived notions about how other people live. I was merely making a point. I'm sure you get the idea. 

[Ali]

hI Leahy

 

I think you may have misunderstood the tone of my message. I've PM'd you.

 

[leahy]

Thank you, Ali. I'm tired and cranky today. Weary, listless and fat.

[Ali]

Sending you big (((((((((((hugs))))))))))).

[leahy]

Hi Ali,

 

Just stopping by to say Hi! I hope you are having a good day.

 

Leahy

[Ali]

Hi Leahy

 

thank you for enquiring. I've not been too bad on the whole. I feel a lot more stable. That doesn't mean happy necessarily, but as it's all relative... Put it like this, no black days of late.

 

I seem to be more angry lately, or getting worked up at things, really worked up, as I did before I went on the drugs. There was me thinking I'd mellowed with age, but all along it was the escitalopram affecting my ability to get stirred up about anything at all, it was just "yeah, whatever" to almost everything. My mood can be flat, but as I said to a friend, I'd rather live with some flat/ low days, than be on this stuff.

 

I feel low today, and someone asked how I was, and I just couldn't answer, because I knew I would cry, and if I did that I knew I wouldn't stop. But I know that's all the stuff I'm worried about I find a plastic smile is SO much easier.

Anyway, I'm now doing some light exercise, although my arm has gone numb so i reckon that's nerve damage - so typical - so I'll have to rest again . I'm also gearing up towards cutting my lamactil next weekend, which is SO exciting. I feel it's time now that I feel more stable and on an even keel.

 

I also have an appt with a doctor in a couple of weeks to ask for liquid escitalopram. I reckon it might be one of two conversations:

" I feel better so want to come off" A: "If they make you feel better then why would you want to come off? Best to stay on them"

OR

" my drug has pooped out and I have a low mood so there's no point in being on them". A: "Let's get you on sertraline".

I'll start shaving the tablets if I have to. And if he so much as mentions serotonin the red mist will descend for sure. Note to self: take a deep breath and end the conversation nicely.

 

Anyway, how have you been?

 

[leahy]

I've had some similar experiences, Ali. I had to practice being nice before I went to see my pdoc because she really angers me. Before she could tell me I'm going to slow. I explained my symptoms and finished with "I'm not happy I have not been able to cut more."

 

Then she took the opposite approach telling me I should slow down and continue my taper my way. Okay. Score one for me - that worked. The trouble is appearing to "being nice" when I feel terrible is NOT easy.

 

My son's girlfriend who is studying nursing asked if I felt better now that I am at a lower dose. I wanted to scream and yell NO I feel TERRIBLE almost ALL the time. I can get so irritated when someone doesn't "get it" - a futile endeavor. Pretty much NO ONE in the real world gets it. Sigh.

 

My answer was I feel like I am getting some memory back which is true so in effect I did not answer the question. But I doubt anyone noticed it was not an answer.

 

It makes no sense to people that we continue to suffer for months and years trying to get off these drugs. I do believe we WILL feel better when we are done. That will take work though. We have to learn to take care of ourselves in different ways than the past.

[AliG]

Stay strong with your doctor , Ali. Just tell him what you want , calmly and precisely .  

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

 

 

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

Just remember that you are the one in control , of the appointment.  He works for you ! 

[Alexander]

Hi Ali,  I relate to you about lack of sun, living here in Yorkshire we have had what seems like constant rain for months.   On Boxing Day, the village and  the valley where I live was flooded.  Thankfully my home escaped, but I spent the day watching water rising round my home.  A few months before  this, my recovery from seroxat was stuck in a severe wave of misery and this added to more stress and insomnia for weeks.    

 

I understand your feelings of anger.   I had these really bad, and still now I get such strong waves of anger and sadness welling up inside me.   I really struggle with everyday life and it must be really bad for my partner to put up with me.  It's hard to make people who have not come off AD's just how frightening it is.  I sometimes have felt as though I am losing my mind.   I am 2 years off Seroxat, but after 12 years of taking it, my body and mind still feel the effects.   I thought I was over the worst, but the last 6 months or so I have really struggled and feel so tired of myself, my body and my life.   

 

Just try and stay strong Ali, and talk to people here and believe that you will be well.

[Ali]

Thank you all for your support. I intend to be strong about it, but I really don't care if I feel weak in it all, I'm just not staying on these bloody drugs. I think I'd rather be depressed. i'm tired of doctors who don't know their a*se from their elbow, and of feeling like this.

 

It's galling that when he started me on this stuff against my protestations, my p/doc told me I would be able to come off them. Yet a few months ago, the story had changed to, "you've always had depression and you'll always need something". As for GPs, what is the point of even opening your mouth about anything unless it's a common cold. I have so many ailments I can't be bothered to talk to them about as they'll probably think it's all symptoms of depression. Sorry if anyone reading this is a GP, it's just been my experience for a long while.

 

Leahy, I can't be bothered to tell anyone how I feel anymore. There's absolutely no point because like you say, they just don't get it, and I get bored of being the depressed one quite frankly. I just say I'm doing ok. My husband no longer asks because he doesn't know what to say when I say "cr*p, if you're asking". And then the conversation withers and dies before my eyes.

 

I always think I'd love to live up North. Somewhere rural. Yorkshire is beautiful. But I can see that nowhere brings escape from pain, it must be a romantic idea of mine that I'll feel OK elsewhere...

 

Anyway, as all can see I'm in a rather angry mood. But within that is a lot of sadness. I don't even know why. I can't cry. I need a punchbag, that would really help.

 

Still, in all of that, I still feel better than a few weeks ago. I will continue on this road, however long it takes,and whatever pain it brings. There are other ways. My pain is telling me things aren't right and that I need to deal with stuff, not pop a pill.

 

Aaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhh.

[Ali]

Why am I so flippin angry again today? I start the day fine, but then something will happen (today it's problems with my manager) and then I find myself getting so angry about the situation, unable to let go, and becoming bloody minded. My daughter said that yesterday I seemed bad tempered and I didn't even think anything showed. I was a bit snappy with one of my friends too. I almost don't trust myself to have a positive interaction with anyone, and that's not like me. Or is it? Which one is the "real" me?

[Skyler]

You might want to take a look at this thread. If you drink coffee, or anything else with caffeine, I'd suggest d/cing for awhile.

[Alexander]

Really relate to your GP experiences.   They prescribed me more anti depressants recently for insomnia  and strong codeine that is addictive, for my leg pain--here's 100 of them, come back when you need more.   No thanks.   I got no help at all from them during all this time of WD, yet they handed it out so easily for 12 years.

[Ali]

You might want to take a look at this thread. If you drink coffee, or anything else with caffeine, I'd suggest d/cing for awhile.

Thanks Skyler. I don't usually drink too much caffeine, but seem to have been drinking more coffee lately. I find it comforting. Back on the decaf then. Is there any joy in this?!!

[Ali]

Really relate to your GP experiences.   They prescribed me more anti depressants recently for insomnia  and strong codeine that is addictive, for my leg pain--here's 100 of them, come back when you need more.   No thanks.   I got no help at all from them during all this time of WD, yet they handed it out so easily for 12 years.

That's all they've got ultimately. I don' think they concern themselves with anything other than relieving the immediate presenting symptoms. They're so stuck on the medical model of mental illness. Maybe they assume everyone wants a quick fix. I'm guessing you were offered amitriptyline? I had the same for pain, plus codeine, and some pregabalin thrown in on top. Do you think they've heard of polypharmacy? I wonder how many of them check for drug interactions? I give up when it comes to the medical profession.

[leahy]

I so wanted a coffee today out with my cousin. But I knew if I did it could mean trouble for me. I am thinking of you right now, Ali as I am cursing at the TV telling Ted Cruz to shut the F*** up. It's not even political. I hate his voice!

 

Yes, I am cranky as hell. This situation we are facing is exhausting. It's no wonder we are irritable and cranky. I try to catch myself when I get snappy but it doesn't always work.