Sadie Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 Hi Ali, Perhaps I didn't give it long enough - I'm just so wary of making my circumstances even worse having read the guidelines here on reinstatement - in that the longer you have left it, the less chance there is of it helping/the increased chance of aggravating your system further. My heart seemed to get worse the two days I did take it. This is a symptom that fluctuates in intensity anyway, but it really put me off. At nearly 8 months off I'm concerned it's too much of a risk. Caught between a rock & a hard place ???? Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 I'd wait it out honestly. It's been quite some time and that was exactly why I didn't reinstate. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
AliG Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Sadie. I totally understand. It is a very individual decision, that ultimately you have to make based on what you think is best for you . You know your body better than anyone else, and it was an informed decision to stop the reinstatement process, based on your symptoms at the time. I have also had the heart palpitations, and it can be quite a scary symptom . I also , unknowingly did a cold turkey and while it's not ideal, I do feel the slow healing process taking place. We do heal in our own time. I hope it goes well , from here. Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Sadie Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Sadie. I totally understand. It is a very individual decision, that ultimately you have to make based on what you think is best for you . You know your body better than anyone else, and it was an informed decision to stop the reinstatement process, based on your symptoms at the time. I have also had the heart palpitations, and it can be quite a scary symptom . I also , unknowingly did a cold turkey and while it's not ideal, I do feel the slow healing process taking place. We do heal in our own time. I hope it goes well , from here. Ali Dear Ali, Many thanks for your kind words. Pleased to hear that healing is happening for you I'm lurking on the site a lot, reading and re-reading the recovery stories, scanning all the posts for any mention of progression. I can't read enough that "it" does end. My instinct is telling me not to reinstate after the heart symptoms and the prolonged amount of time it's been since I stopped. I know it's just going to take TIME and patience. CTMama's reassurances (and yours) that the horror of early Cold Turkey alleviates is a massive help. Sadie. Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Time is the key. There are good moments in between, definitely. I've had some very good days lately. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
Sadie Posted May 13, 2016 Author Share Posted May 13, 2016 Yay ???? pleased to hear you're having good days... I hope they continue. Roll on the good days lol Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Me too! With WD it's two step's forward, 3 back, repeat! But someday we'll get there! Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
Sadie Posted May 20, 2016 Author Share Posted May 20, 2016 Hello everyone, having a particularly difficult day, feeling like a baby bird fallen out of the nest - so I decided to come and share here and have another re-read of the recovery stories. I hate the cognitive/memory impairment so much, I went to log on to my computer and couldn't remember the password I've used for the last four years I keep losing track of which threads I have/haven't read on the site and just generally keeping track of what's scheduled/needs to be done day-to-day is a struggle. Remembering what I did yesterday, even how to spell is a task. I want my first class honours mind back, so much. I feel like each day goes by in an uncomfortable haze, every minute/hour is accompanied by my own internal narration of how I feel, when it will end, will it ever end!? Will I ever be me again? I find myself looking at others and envying their presence; that uninhibited ability to just live. The rumination regarding the position I'm in, how it could have been avoided and how nobody around me understands is unrelenting. Prior to stopping the medication, I was noticing I couldn't recall things from my childhood/teenage years like my friends and family could...I put it down to stressful life circumstances taking precedence...but I'm beginning to realise the medication is probably responsible I feel like a half-formed person that will never be whole. And so more rumination unfolds, trying to remember names and events. Symptoms continue, I'm not really sure if it's in a windows and waves fashion as there hasn't been one moment so far, where my attention has been entirely on anything else. Just half an hour in which I read something or watch a programme and forget would be bliss. I have to take note of the things that have lessened (for now anyway) such as the intrusive thoughts, twitching and frequency at which I need the toilet. The weird, sporadic physical sensation of dread isn't as powerful. I'm not as thrown by violent scenes/images and I'm not jumping at every little noise. But the DP/DR is intense, as is the feeling of cotton wool in my head, constant angst about my circumstances, the future, feeling detached from my loved ones, confusion...blah. Trying to act normal and 'okay' gets draining. Apologies for the 'woe is me' rant, I feel reluctant to keep offloading on my family and partner. My mum is disabled and my dad cares for her, and my partner incurred a traumatic brain injury a few years ago so I'm trying not to put any more on them than I already have. I had been my partner's main source of support and helped my mum as much as I could and hate that I can't be relied on by them so much now. I'm hoping just the act of writing it out will lessen the feeling of despair. It's out of character for me to feel so sorry for myself but everything I've ever endured prior to this just pales in comparison. Thinking of everyone here fighting the fight. Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
Sadie Posted April 30, 2018 Author Share Posted April 30, 2018 Hi all, I am writing in the hope someone can offer me some advice. I am coming up to three years of cold turkey withdrawal from Paxil. I have generally followed the windows and waves pattern after an awful first year, with particular symptoms fluctuating in intensity. For me exercise proved to be helpful. Six weeks ago I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. My pregnancy wasn't planned and I was plagued with anxiety about the prospect of motherhood and withdrawal for a myriad of reasons; but I tried to adopt an 'I can and will do this' attitude and continue to do so. So my labour was everything I dreaded, I ended up needing intervention, resulting in a third degree tear and required surgery afterwards. I was sorely disappointed to have managed labour with a little gas and air, only to need a spinal block afterwards - followed by a two week course of two different antibiotics to prevent infection. I suffered some disturbing intrusive thoughts while taking the antibiotics,/in the aftermath of the spinal block but aside from that I only noticed an increase in brain fog, loss of appetite and the ability to cry at any given moment. A symptom that could just be pregnancy regardless. So I was still suffering with a lot of pain from my tear and some abdominal pain that I wasn't sure about ( I am breastfeeding and was told the pains associated with things going back where they were so to speak would be short lived). I had a swab and it has come back positive with strep -milleri present in my...well...lady parts. I also have a sore throat. The GP urged me to take antibiotics (apparently my son doesn't need treatment) but I am so reluctant to take them. I have no idea if this bacteria would clear on its own were I to give it a chance. I took so much caution keeping my wound clean, taking probiotics, eating probiotic/prebiotic foods etc. I thought it might be in my interest to query here, as it's one place I know people may offer an alternative insight as well as understand my hesitancy/bind fear! If anyone has any thoughts I would be most grateful. Sadie. Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 30, 2018 Administrator Share Posted April 30, 2018 Hello, Sadie. I am sorry pregnancy has been so difficult for you. Do you have help with the baby? If I were you, I'd ask the doctors if oral antibiotics are absolutely necessary, or if the wound might heal on its own with antibiotic dressings. I'd let them know you have bad reactions to antibiotics and don't want to overuse them. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Sadie Posted April 30, 2018 Author Share Posted April 30, 2018 Thanks for your response alto. I tried unsuccessfully to explain I am sensitive to antibiotics. My wound has been looked at and is apparently healed on the outside (not on the inside) hence the continuing pain. Either that or I have nerve damage from the tear. The GP called the gynaecology department at our hospital and queried whether the virus needs to be treated when I didn't drop the reluctance. But I know very little about whether my body can fight this virus unaided and couldn't find an answer when I researched online. My partner is home with me and the baby, but he doesn't like to be far from the boob lol 😂 Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
Sadie Posted April 30, 2018 Author Share Posted April 30, 2018 The baby... Not my partner 😂 Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted April 30, 2018 Share Posted April 30, 2018 14 minutes ago, Sadie said: The baby... Not my partner 😂 Lol yeah yeah 😆 Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
megb Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Hi Sadie, I just came upon this thread, how are you doing now with everything? Did you end up taking antibiotics? How is your withdrawal? Meg Sep '18 - became pregnant in late August, then on 9/5 insomnia/anxiety went THROUGH the roof. I tried a lot of things but here is what is current: Paroxetine: 6.2mg (began 9/5/18, and there was a new manufacturer of which I just found out 2 days ago) during the day Olanzapine : 7.5mg at night Ambien: 5-10mg at night Xanex: 5-10mg at night Fish Oil: for prenatal things Aug '18: Paroxetine 6.6mg, (30mg thyroid hormone, fish oil, vit D3, SBI protect, probiotic. Following AIP diet) Mar '16: began taper from 20mg. Decreasing .75mg or less each month or more. Sporadically used Ambien &/or Trazodone for insomnia. Sep'15: tried to come off slower. Used fish oil, vit D3, and regular exercise/healthy diet to assist. (Taper sched= 18mg for 60days, 15mg for 60d, 10mg for 30d, 8mg for 30d) At my 3rd week of 8mg in Nov '15, insomnia and panic attacks began. Back up to 20mg after a month of horrible withdrawal. Oct'12-Sep'15: 20mg Paxil Sep'12: 1st attempt to get off, naively tried cold turkey per Dr. suggestion. Couldn't work for 2 months. Another Doc upped dose to 20mg. Jun '09-Aug '12: 10mg Paxil for severe insomnia due to anxiety. Also took Ambien/Trazodone for sleep. Other meds taken sporadically: Ativan, Abilify, Xyrem My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness. Link to comment
Sadie Posted June 22, 2018 Author Share Posted June 22, 2018 1 hour ago, megb said: 1 hour ago, megb said: Hi Sadie, I just came upon this thread, how are you doing now with everything? Did you end up taking antibiotics? How is your withdrawal? Meg Hey Meg, I did take the antibiotics in the end. The GP I originally saw for the swab called and urged me to take them to prevent a nastier infection developing. It was a week long course and they didn't seem to affect me as much as the others I had to take after surgery - just lots of crying, increased brain fog and a wobbly tummy 🙁 My stomach issues have continued since taking them 😟 despite taking probiotics and chugging kefir and eating lots of sauerkraut etc. I think perhaps the breastfeeding is hindering my ability to bounce back. But stomach issues were a wd problem for me so who knows what's what. I am healing okay, I had physio this week and was told things are heading in the right direction, it can just take awfully long time. Withdrawal wise, anxiety and rumination have made it harder to deal with how my son's labour went. I have felt a bit sorry for myself! I feel like my recovery very may be delayed because of what's happened. Pregnancy and labour are such massive things for mind and body anyway - but my son is healthy and friggin adorable and totally worth it! Looking back I can see improvement overall, even though I still struggle with symptoms. A couple of weeks ago I had a return of strange brain sensations (I have never had zaps just a pins and needles type feeling in my head and face). I still have random jolts in my legs but they're not really noticeable, heart palps are fewer and I haven't had a rushing heart beat since I had my baby. I'm mindful that hormones could be keeping some symptoms at bay though and things may come back as they return to where they were. Brain fog is probably my worst symptom, it's laughable and 'baby brain' has made it even worse! My long term memory is still totally shot, which sometimes makes my sense of self a bit muddy. Neuro emotions are an issue still. There's other things but I have nearly written an essay already! I feel like I deal with it all much better though, accepting the circumstances of wd is extremely difficult but it's the only way through. Of course in the beginning we're indignant and angry and don't want it to be true because it's horrific - I am not recovered but I am not in that awful place of non stop suffering. Meg - you doing okay? You're sweet to ask after me 😉 Paxil for 18 months, eventually reaching the max dose of 60mg. Stopped c/t in September 2015. Pregabalin for 3-4 months, 150mg twice a day. Weaned off over a period of 2-3 weeks. Stopped in conjunction with the Paxil. Mid October 2015, prescribed Diazepam, 5mg up to three times a day & Fluoxetine, 20mg. After three weeks, weaned off the Diazepam over a period of twelve or so days. Stayed on the Fluoxetine for about five weeks, tapered off over a fortnight. End of November 2015, started on Citalopram, reaching 30mg. Also reinstated Pregabalin (150mg twice a day). February 2016 weaned off the Citalopram over a fortnight and started Effexor (reaching 150mg). March 2016 weaned off the Effexor over a period of three weeks. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted January 26, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 26, 2019 Hi Sadie, How are you doing?💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg. 2020➡️5.60 to 4.80. 2021➡️4.60 to 4.0. 2022➡️3.95 to 3.55. 2023➡️ From 3.50 to 3.25. 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️May1=3.0✔️ June7=3mg✔️ July 15= 2.95✔️ This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
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