MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

[doggiemama]

I know u feel very bad now but it will get better stay strong

[maizeNblue81]

I tried to watch the videos but nothing came up. Just sent me to a blank screen.

 

I'm trying to hold on but over the last week my symptoms have gotten more and more severe and the last two day have been unbearable to the point all I can do is lay here in bed and cry and I'm telling you the truth when I say that they have doubled if not tripled in the last few days and this is the worst it's been since the hospital back in October if not worse.

 

The head pressure burning numbness and physical symptoms in my head are so bad I can't hardly move or stand up or open my eyes and the numbness and pressure and burning above my eyes in my forehead in my temples and the back right side of my head are so severe I can't hardly think and it feels like my head is gonna explode.

 

The severe confusion DP/DR, horrible evil intrusive thoughts and all these emotional symptoms are so severe too and have increased tremendously. If I didn't know any better I would think I was dying and if I thought they could help I would go to the hospital right now it's so bad.

 

I did ok ups and downs since starting work 6 weeks ago but the last week and especially the last few days has brought me to my knees and I just don't know how much more I can take?

[maizeNblue81]

Is any of this normal? Is this benzodiazepine WD, Zoloft or a combination of both I don't know but this is miserable.

[ChessieCat]

Go to YouTube, and enter claire weekes bewilderment in the search bar at the top of the webpage.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I will do that but still doesn't answer any of my questions about my symptoms or the severity of them and you know it's bad when my family is wanting to take me to the hospital and again this is as bad as it's ever been and it's scaring me.

[Madeleine]

It could be both the benzo withdrawal and Zoloft. Also, when we are frightened and worried our fear anxiety excites or revs upour nervous system. That is why chessiecat is telling you to look up Claire weekes video. You can also read her book hope and help for your nerves. The book explains how to calm down your nervous system. She says you have to face/accept and float (ie have attitude as if you are detached from your symptoms) and let time pass. It will not get 'rid of all your symptoms but will help calm your nervous system down

[ChessieCat]

.

Thank you for explaining Madeleine.  It's much appreciated.

 

Ok I will do that but still doesn't answer any of my questions about my symptoms or the severity of them and you know it's bad when my family is wanting to take me to the hospital and again this is as bad as it's ever been and it's scaring me.

 

You are asking the same questions you have asked previously and they have been answered previously by both myself and other moderators.

 

Since you have been a member here we have also been providing you with suggestions of techniques which may help you to cope better than you are.

 

Here is something that I would like you to read and consider.  It has been taken from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-leahy-phd/dwelling-on-the-negative-_b_799103.html?.  I have condensed it to make it applicable to you.

 

 

You keep reviewing what has happened to you — your health. You dwell on it. You are stuck.

What is Rumination?

A lot of people dwell on the negative. They repeat negative thoughts over and over, dwelling on something.

Examples of rumination include repeating in your mind negative experiences in the past, dwelling on the “injuries” and “injustices” that you have suffered, or asking questions that don’t have answers, such as “Why me?,” “What is the meaning of all of this?” You may ruminate about your physical maladies, your aches and pains, your emotions, your sensations or just about anything. The key thing is that you are stuck.

The Cost of Rumination

You are over-thinking, trying to make sense, trying to get the answer.

You think you are “doing something,” but you are not, you are stuck.

How Does Rumination Make Sense To You?

Many people who ruminate actually don’t realize that they have a choice. For example, you are ruminating and the phone rings. You stop ruminating and talk on the phone. You temporarily set it aside.

You also think that thinking about it will give you clarity, give you the final insight, and that everything will make sense. Research indicates that ruminators often believe that they have a responsibility to figure it out, that their rumination will lead to solving a problem and that their rumination will motivate them. But many times rumination simply leads to getting stuck in the negative, and trapping you in an endless loop of questions without sufficient answers.

Is Your Rumination Helping or Hurting You?

It’s helping if you actually get answers. It’s hurting if you continue repeating the questions and get nowhere.

“I need to know for sure.” You won’t get certainty in an uncertain world. Another roadblock is your unwillingness to accept that unfair things do happen — and that rumination won’t change that.

 

As I said previously, I would love to hear what you think of Claire Weekes.

[maizeNblue81]

I'm sorry forgive me I'm in the middle of reading all this and I'm gonna watch those videos then I'll post back but I'm really scared and these symptoms are really severe and have brought me too my knees to the point I feel like giving up and healing just isn't gonna happen for me.

 

I didn't post on here for almost a month with work and everything else going on it was bad but I managed trying to keep myself busy staying positive and just focusing on one day at a time but that's how bad and how severe this wave of symptoms are to the point of being dibilitating and I can't even function or hardly breath they are so bad.

 

I just don't understand how after almost 7 months they can still be this bad and I still get hit this hard? I was going to remeasure my Zoloft today to get a better idea of what I needed to do with that but I can't thank it's like my mind is crying help and I haven't experienced this level of suffering since before I went into the hospital and I'm sorry I'm just scared and these symptoms are really that bad and most people doctors and my family just look at you like your crazy and your not going through what your going through because they don't understand it or just because the majority of people don't experience this level of suffering that means I'm not and that's just not true.

 

I just feel so alone in this and my worst fear after almost a year of suffering with these drugs is now y'all are gonna give up on me too and then I'll have nobody and I want survive this.

[Happy2Heal]

you are not alone, and we are not going to give up on you

 

I am sorry things are so bad right now, but they will get better.
Remember, they were better before, right?

so they will get better again, and in fact, there's a good chance that when they DO get better, things will be the best they have been so far.

 

Your brain is healing right now. What feels awful to us, is actually our brains doing what they need to do, to be healed and get back to our pre-drugged normal state.

it feels awful, I know!!! but it's not dangerous and it's not going to last forever.

 

you are much stronger than you think you are.

I know you are scared but there's nothing to be afraid of. It's the changes (the healing) of your brain that is sending out signals of fear- when there's no real threat.
I know, I've been where you are, and it feels so real, like there really must be something terribly wrong, but trust me on this- there's nothing wrong

 

You are getting better. In a few days or so, you are going to feel at least a little bit better. pay attention and watch for the good feeling to come, it will, I promise you, but you need to be paying attention or you might miss it

 

 

when it comes, embrace it and think about how good it is, and it will grow and get bigger. and the fear will get smaller and smaller until it is gone.

 

this is going to happen for you! you are already making a lot of progress.

You can do this.

 

It's hard when family and friends don't understand but WE understand and we know its hard.

but you're strong enough to make it thru this

 

just keep holding on

keep breathing!!

 

keep finding good things to focus on, and know that good things are going to come for you soon.

[maizeNblue81]

Thank you Ms H2H and my symptoms have been consistent and pretty bad but up until the last week I got through and managed the best I could. I haven't had windows and waves like everyone talks about I've only had constant and severe symptoms since I came off but the last week has brought me to my knees and the last two days especially has been the worst I think since coming off in October of last year.

 

I'm trying to hold on and everyone keeps telling me it's gonna get better but so far it hasn't and this wave has been the worst by far.

 

I was told acute symptoms would only last 4-6 weeks, then I was told 2-4 months and here I am at almost 7 months and still no relief and to have things get this bad and be this severe this far out is heartbreaking and very discouraging.

 

I'm trying to hold onto hope and I know I still have to deal with the Zoloft that's probably msking this worse and the WD to that so I'm really overwhelmed and very scared to say the least and it's hard not to feel alone when no one believes you or understands when you try and explain the symptoms and the level of suffering your going through and that it was caused by the drugs that were saposed to help you. All they do is look at you like your crazy or making it up and think you need to be on more drugs.

 

So I don't really know if I could truly or accurately explain all my symptoms and I don't guess you would understand if you hadn't been through it for yourself but this is the worst most miserable thing I have ever gone through and I wouldn't wish this on even my worst enemy that's a fact.

 

The worst symptoms continue to be the head pressure burning numbness and physical symptoms and pain in my brain which no one can explain to me what causes it or why mine is so severe.

 

The confusion, disorientation, severe DP/DR, dark cloud, intrusive thoughts and extreme fatigue are all apart of it too and again this is the worst wave I've ever had or experienced since I came off and to have it this far out is just more than I can handle.

 

I mean how much suffering can one person endure or take?

 

I don't know but I can tell you this wave is testing the limits of that for me

 

Edited March 30, 2022 by ChessieCat
changed member name

[maizeNblue81]

Ok no response to that last one but I just sent a message to my mom and the last 3 days have been a whole new level of symptoms and I'm at work wandering if this is normal or if I should go straight to the ER cause I have never felt this bad and the symptoms have not been this severe since even before the hospital. Am I in trouble do I need to go to the hospital?

 

Momma this is really scaring me! This wave of symptoms it's a whole new level and the head pressure burning numbness and physical symptoms in my head have tripled over the last 3 days and I feel extremely nauseous light headed and dizzy like I'm gonna fall over and pass out and I feel very disoriented and I'm really scared!

[mammaP]

MB you are exhausted, working long hours and worrying about your health means you are getting very little sleep. You are describing exhaustion on top of withdrawal. Benzo withdrawal can last longer than a few months but doctors generally don't accept that because they are taught by the drug companies who don't want to own up to the fact that their drugs cause problems. You are doing an amazing job going to work every day but you really do need to find some ways to relax when you are home.  Right now I have a fireplace on youtube playing on my tv. It helps me to relax, just the sound of it and the flickering light of the fire. It feels real and makes the room feel warm and comforting without the actual heat. I highly recommend it. I also have on a campfire by the river sometimes and love them. The tension ebbs away. I am not saying that they will cure all your symptoms but might help you to get through them. 

 

This is the fireplace 

 

 

Campfire 

 

[maizeNblue81]

Well mammaP I have been pushing myself with all the hours and work and I surprised I have held up as good as I have and I know I don't get enough sleep but this is major over the top benzo WD or symptoms cause they are the same since the beginning except the worst I've ever experienced by far and much more intensified.

 

This is my 7th week of work and today is the first day I can honestly I didn't know if I was gonna make it or survive it. This wave is like nothing I have experienced before and the symptoms are just extreme severe head pressure burning numbness and severe pain in my head so bad I can't even hardly open my eyes, or my mouth, and it honestly feels like my head is gonna explode and is on fire.

 

It's hit me really hard to and over the last 3 days especially with severe increased nausea, light headed, dizzy, severe anxiety to the point of not being able to breath and feeling like I'm gonna have an actual panic attack severe increased confusion, DP/DR, extremely disoriented my mind just shuts down I have to constantly focus really hard to stay in the moment and some since of reality I forget what I'm doing and if I stop and let my brain rest for any period of time horrible dark cloud and intrusive thoughts or racing thoughts hit me hard.

 

When I walk I feel like I'm gonna pass out and fall over on the ground it's so scary and horrible.

 

I just got back home and now that I can set down and rest a min it's hitting me even harder.

 

I just don't understand this started to hit me and increase about a week ago and the last 3 days it's brought me to my knees and I can't breath or think and it's was so bad today I almost left work and went to the ER.

 

I don't understand how after 7 months it can be this bad and the benzo symptoms have always been so consistent and severe I can't tell what part the Zoloft is playing in this madness?

 

I haven't changed anything with the Zoloft except that one night I tried to switch over to the more accurate measure but that was a few nights ago and these symptoms have been so severe I thought better if it so for the better part of over 2 months nothing has changed with that so I don't know but this wave and these symptoms take the cake the worst I've had to date since all this started and I'm really scared and don't know what to do?

[maizeNblue81]

Well to update you after last night and today I honestly feel like I'm dying and I can honestly say this is the worst wave of symptoms I have ever experienced in the now almost 7 months off xanex and it has literally brought me to my knees and I just got home from work and all I can do is lay in my bed in complete agony and suffering I wouldn't wish on any human being friend or not!

 

On the 20th of this month I will have been off 7 months and this is the worst it's been and the last two days at work I honestly did not think I would survive it.

 

I've been working now this is my 7th week and the first time that's happened and it's been so severe that I've almost left the last two days and went to the hospital but I know all they are gonna do is look at me like I'm crazy and try and put me on more drugs.

 

This wave started to hit me about a week ago and the last 3-4 days have been unbearable to the point of laying in the floor in pain, panic attacks, can't breath it's been horrible.

 

The head pressure burning numbness and physical pain in my brain has tripled and it feels like my head is gonna burst wide open and like it's on fire!

 

I've had extreme nausea, dizziness, feeling like I was gonna pas out and faint, sever DP/DR, confusion, extremely disoriented, severe intrusive thoughts and dark moods it's all literally tripled in intensity and I have never had it this bad and for it to hit me after 7 months now has got me extremely worried and I dot understand?

 

Is any of this normal? Has my brain been permanently damaged, if this is a wave how long will it last? I haven't changed anything with the Zoloft for 2 1/2 months now so what might that be doing idk but this is insane scary and I just don't know how much more of this or how many more days like this I can take?

[LostInTheWoods]

I wouldn't worry too much on the 7th month mark. More like working like a bomb with a timer, AD withdrawal is probably better described as a fuse  left on our heads. It can keep dry and quiet for indefinite time, then you walk by a fire of stress and anxiety, and ember sets right on it and boom! All neurochemicals suddenly run amok with full intensity as if the explosive had been just set.

 

Can't give much more advice but to look for someone in the real flesh to you can trust and share both your woes and your progress. We here can do our best efforts but at the end of day we are some .jpg avatars that fade away when the computer is turned off. A human in the flesh, in its physical proximity can give you courage and hope in the bad times and you can share joy with him / her on the good times.

 

It looks like you have been on a roller coaster of variety of meds through a relatively low time interval. Is it normal to be prescribed such high dosage of sertraline. By reading members' testimonies seems to be one of the nastier and long lasting withdrawals effects, so I would not only ask you but beg you to keep tapering slowly on it and not cold turkey it under any circumstance.

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah I'm not gonna cold turkey the Zoloft and I've been holding at the same dose for over two months because the symptoms have been so severe and I was actually thinking of dropping a little before this monster wave hit a week ago now it looks like I'm stuck holding for awhile longer.

 

The thing is I think most of this is still benzo related because they are the same symptoms as when I was CT back in October just much much more intensified than ever before so I'm not even doing anything different with the Zoloft right now but this wave of symptoms and the severity has brought me to my knees and it's very scary and I can say if not for my momma I would be in trouble.

 

I just don't understand I haven't had any windows in 7 months it just goes from bad to worse but the last 3-4 days takes the cake the worst I have ever experienced with all the symptoms listed above and I'm telling you I did not think I was gonna make it the last few days at work and it's so bad my family wants me to go to the hospital.

 

Of this is a wave how long will it last cause I can't keep going like this? Before it was bad but manageable but now it's unbearable I want make it long like this.

[Altostrata]

Are you still taking Zoloft at 10 p.m.?

 

What is keeping you from going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time each morning?

[maizeNblue81]

Yes I still try and take the Zoloft at 10pm before bed but I can say that their have been nights that it's been later than that and it hasn't been as consistent on my time with it or my bed time with work lately but I'm up at the same time regardless

[maizeNblue81]

Woke up this morning and for the 4th day in a row and my symptoms are worse and have increased from the day before. This can't be normal and I'm really scared what am I doing wrong? Why is this happening and how long will this last? On my way to work and I just sent you this to my mom.

 

Momma I'm bout to give up! I can't handle this. The pressure and pain in my head is so bad I can't hardly open my eyes and I can't breath! Then the confusion and all these other emotional symptoms are so horrible momma it's like having the worst migraine you could possibly imagine mixed with a severe concussion mixed with a panic attack it's horrible and very scary

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I'm really sorry to bother everyone and I know I've said it before but I really am sacred my symptoms have turned and changed or they have increased 10x over the past four days and I'm really worried having a hard time writing this had to step away from work and this is what I just sent my mother and I can't explain it any better.

 

Momma I literally had to leave the store for a min cause I felt like I was gonna pass out. These symptoms I would never want you to have to endure what I'm going through but if you could for one second walk in my shoes you would understand. The pressure burning numbness and and physical symptoms in my head are so severe I can't hardly stand up or focus on anything else and it literally feels like my head is on fire and gonna burst and it feels like there is so much pressure in my head my brain is just gonna stop working and it feels like something like gravity is forcing me to the ground with all this pressure it's in my forehead above my eyes and my temples goes up to the middle part of my head down into the right side witch are the same symptoms I've had just 10x more severe over the last 4 days.

 

Then it's like I'm fighting my brain to even stay in touch with reality with the severe confusion DP/DR, and the horrible intrusive thoughts are horrible and very scary it's like when I was detoxed in the hospital just so much worse I don't understand it?

 

Emotionally if I stop for a min my brain just goes numb and to a dark place and if I try and push myself the pressure and physical in my head are driving me to the ground!

 

Momma that drug severely damaged my brain and I just wander if this is not permanently damaged?

 

The Zoloft was a really bad idea and after over 6 moths their is no telling what it's doing to me? All it's done is delay my healing and prolong my suffering!

 

I'm so scared momma this is the most horrible thing I've ever been through and I don't know if I'll survive?

[bubble]

What jumps at me is how much you have pushed yourself with your job. Even working till late at night. Our brains are very delicate in withdrawal and any pushing is too much to handle for them. The way they tell us it's too much is through increased symptoms.

 

It seems you still haven't accepted that for a while you shouldn't expect from yourself to endure what an average person could (and you even went beyond that with job that would deplete anyone).

 

How much louder should your brain shout to slow down (through increased symptoms)?

 

You also don't seem to believe in relaxation techniques and other ideas posted for you. It might not be your cup of tea under normal circumstances but in your state some deep breathing, a short body scan, an epsom salt bath, a Claire Weekes video...could have a great soothing effect (instead of posting about your symptoms which might intensify them).

 

You keep repeating that you don't understand why you are STILL feeling unwell. That's because you are starting with a very wrong assumption that you were on Xanax only shortly, on a small dose 0.75 is 3 times the 'minimum therapeutic dose' and that you would bounce back within few weeks. If that was the case we wouldn't advise people to reinstate.

 

You changed it seems 7 drugs and the brain keeps the score. You are not damaged and you will recover. You are actually doing very well. Some people are house bound or even bed ridden and you are out there doing a very strenuous job.

 

You need to respect the process and provide your brain with healing environment and be patient.

 

You will be fine.

[maizeNblue81]

Well I don't know what to do and I really don't understand cause I made it through 6 weeks of work without things at the very least not getting any worse than they were before but over the past week and especially since last Sunday I have been hit with this massive wave of symptoms that I honestly think are worse than they were right after detox in October and it's literally 10x worse than last week.

 

The physical pain and pressure in my head is worse than ever before and mix that with the severe emotional symptoms and a uptick in all that and I have never had it this bad in the whole 7 months I've been out of the hospital it's literally brought me too my knees and is so very scary to the point it's even effecting my cognitive ability, my vision, and my motor functions it's crazy to be hit this hard this far out and off of xanex.

 

As far as work I was trapped in this house for 10 months until April of this year when I went back to work and it was bad then and staying inside with nothing to do but smoke and think about my symptoms wasn't helping and I have 3 kids to support and I'd already been out of work for a year so what I'm I saposed to do quit my job? I'm so scared this is gonna get so bad I'm not gonna be able to work or do my job and the last 3 days at work has pushed the limit for sure as far as the pain and suffering I'm able to bear it is so bad I fell like I'm dying and having a complete psych breakdown at the same time.

 

So I don't know what to do hear obviously my brain is no where near healed not even a window of improvement in 7 months off benzodiazepines and as far as the Zoloft I can't get off even the current dose I'm on because my symptoms are so bad so I feel stick and I really don't know what to do?

 

The last 3 days and even tonight coming home from work I've not been able to do anything but fall on my bed and cry out on complete agony and suffering and to still feel this way and be hit this hard after all this time is scary and discouraging to say the least.

 

So what do I do?

[ChessieCat]

"So what do I do?"

 

Many people, both mods and members, have taken the time and effort to respond to you with suggestions of non-drug ways that might help you to cope with the symptoms.  Your response every time has been to re-tell, in great detail, your history.

 

It's up to you to try out the suggestions and find what helps.  Continually writing about your symptoms here isn't helping and may in fact be making things worse.  Which is why I posted about ruminating.  So why not try something else?  You might be surprised.

 

We've given you plenty of suggestions so I'm not going to bother posting any more.

 

Instead of posting about your symptoms and how long you have been suffering, it would make a nice change if you tried some things which have been suggested and then post back here about what you have tried and whether it helped or not.  This has also been suggested previously.

[maizeNblue81]

Yes ma'am but it's never been this severe before and this is the worst wave I have ever experienced by far so I don't take anyone's advice here for granted and I'm very thankful for all the support but the last 3-4 days have been horrendous and forgive me if you think I'm not taking what you say to heart because I am but this really is that severe and this wave has just about killed me and it's getting worse everyday since Sunday so I'm just trying to understand and being hit this hard had knocked me for a loop after fighting for 7 months just to get this far. Please don't give up on me y'all are the only people I have to talk too that somewhat understands what I'm going through.

[ChessieCat]

Maize, we know!!!  You keep telling us.

 

And we keep telling you - TRY THE NON-DRUG TECHNIQUES

[ChessieCat]

We are suggesting these because other people have found them helpful and you might too.

[maizeNblue81]

Well I know everyone is getting frustrated with me and wants to give up on me but I can not begin to explain the severe symptoms I'm facing right now and over the past week. I'm setting out in my car had to leave work because it just got so bad I started crying and couldn't hardly stand up or function.

 

The pressure, pain, numbness and burning in my brain is so severe I can't think, walk, talk or even swallow my food it's so bad and the emotional symptoms have taking a turn for the worse just severe confusion, DP/DR horrible racing thoughts and just feel really nauseous light headed dizzy and like I'm gonna throw up and pas out.

 

I'm sorry but this is the worst wave of symptoms I have ever faced and to have it get this bad after 7 months is heartbreaking and I'm really scared I'm gonna lose my job and not even be able to function.

 

I've tried so hard to hold onto hope but the last week has really taking it all out of me and I'm on the verge of giving up.

[Madeleine]

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so bad right now. People here won't give up. We all know it's a very difficult thing to go through. So many people have gotten better. Have faith that you will too. It will take a bit of time but you will. Try to focus on something to pass the time and to give your mind a break from your worries. Watch a light sitcom or something like that or do a crossword... something easy you enjoy

[Lakelander82]

Maize, sometimes you just have to suck it up, it's what I tell myself when I feel extremely bad, which I have done these last few days. The worse it is, the more I come out swinging and batter on through it. Sometimes it's all about stoicism and saying "insert whatever word you want to use here" you withdrawal, you'll not get the better of me you "insert whatever word you want to use here". Pardon the coarse Northern Irish vernacular (please see edit note), buts it's how I choose to articulate my views.

Edited May 20, 2017 by ChessieCat
changed obscenities/"insert whatever ..."

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I finished my work week today and I have to say this has been the hardest and most difficult week of my life and the most severe symptoms I have had to face in the 7 months I've been off benzodiazepines or xanex.

 

My symptoms have gradually gotten worse and more severe since last Sunday and yesterday and today especially I honestly thought I wasn't gonna make it and right now I'm at home in bed feeling like I'm going crazy and gonna have a nervous breakdown.

 

I have described my symptoms the changes and the severity as the week has went on but last night I came home and honestly the head pressure numbness burning and physical pain in my head was so bad I almost went to the hospital last night and needed up taking 4/200mg ibuprofen and went straight to bed I was so physically sick and that doesn't cover the severe emotional symptoms I have faced all week.

 

Today I woke up for work and the headache was better but still had the pressure burning numbness in my head and just woke up feeling really fatigued light headed dizzy nauseous and extremely disoriented but I made it into work.

 

As the day wore on the crushing fatigue, head pressure and extreme confusion gradually got worse and by the end of the day it's hard to explain but it was almost like being in a zombie like state kinda like an out of body experience where I wasn't even in reality anymore emotionally and my mind was just shutting down. I had no cognitive ability and it was almost severe fear worry and panic took over and the old me was crying out that little piece of me still left in their somewhere but couldn't get my brain to respond to what I was telling it to do. I don't know if that makes any since but that's the best way to describe it.

 

So between the physical symptoms in my head the extreme fatigue confusion I guess what you would call DP/DR, that dark cloud and racing thoughts just feeling of not being able to think or get my mind to work, feeling like I was gonna pass out and like I'm going crazy losing my mind and having a nervous breakdown I'm really scared lost confused and losing hope and I don't know what to do. Just an overwhelming since of something bad happening to me this continues to get worse and I don't even know if I'm actually describing everything on how severe it really is and all this just hit me over the past week culminating with today.

 

Is any of this normal? What am I doing wrong? Is this benzo WD, Zoloft or a combo of both I don't know?

 

Is the feeling I had today benzo Wad and severe DP/DR?

 

I was trying to take a shower earlier and I felt completely detached from my mind and body and didn't even know what I was doing or feel like I was in reality anymore. This is really scary.

 

Is staying on the Zoloft really doing more damage or is this my brain still in recovery from benzos?

 

Please help me cause I'm really losing hope and I know everyone thinks I'm not trying but I am and it really has gotten and is that severe over the last week and keeps getting worse

[bubble]

Do you read stories of other people here?

 

If you did, you would see that we are all in the same boat and that what you are going through is 'normal'.

 

The severity of the symptoms and the time it takes to recover is the reason we implore people not to CT and taper fast and to reinstate if that happens.

 

If you broke your leg in several places would you be surprised that it hurt when you kept running? You are running and your brain is screaming please stop and give me space to rest and heal.

 

As you noticed earlier it is frustrating to write to you in the same way it is talking to a brick wall. Everything is just like water off duck's back. Many times over. I believe this is your coping mechanism: letting it all out here gives you a sense of control and it is like you feel we have the answer but just don't want to give it so you just have to keep asking for it. Everyone does what helps them.

 

What would the answer that this is Xanax WD do for you? I tapered xanax at one point a bit more aggressively and it took me a year to recover. You reduced Zoloft at one point and it clearly made you worse. So that is your answer: it's best not to touch Zoloft now.

 

Only time heals (and lot more time than you were initially misinformed to expect). It seems it will take some time for you to accept this. People do heal but it's not a matter of weeks, not even months but more years. And it's not equally bad all that time.

 

Even you admit that for a month you felt better. But long and stressful hours took their toll.

 

There is usually a middle ground between not working, staying at home and focusing on your symptoms and doing a highly demanding and stressful job. I would look into something less demanding. It seems you even work at the weekends What you need now is rest and a good ratio between rest and distraction through slow paced work.

[Altostrata]

Great posts, bubble!

 

maize, you keep asking "What should I do?" To the extent we can -- we don't have any sure-fire quick fixes -- we give you suggestions. There is no evidence you take any of these suggestions.

 

We are running out of suggestions. That's all we can do to help you.

 

There's no point in continuing this cycle of complaining-> suggestions-> ignoring the suggestions-> complaining ->suggestions -> ignoring the suggestions. The mods have better things to do, and it's not good for community members to get caught up in this frustrating type of exchange.

[maizeNblue81]

Well I'm not trying to frustrate anyone and I'm sorry if I am but I have no help with doctors they don't understand and just look at me like I'm crazy and want to put me on more drugs. My family doesn't understand so I feel very alone in this and this has been the worst week since I came off in October and it is very scary and the suffering is very real.

 

I feel like my brain is shutting down I'm losing it mentally and it's been a very hard week but I'm gonna hold on the Zoloft as suggested and start looking for lighter work as suggested as well.

 

Please don't give up on me I don't have anyone else.

[maizeNblue81]

I do have a question with another bothersome symptom on top of the burning numbness pressure and physical symptoms in my brain and the emotional symptoms I have this dark evil cloud of racing thoughts and intrusive thoughts Including SU/HM ideation especially with this major wave and uptick in symptoms is this benzo related or the Zoloft turning on me or a combo of both because that's another symptom that has increased tremendously over the past week along with the physical symptoms and I'm just wandering where the root is? And Is this normal given my situation?

[bubble]

This sounds very much like you went to your doctor after you broke your leg and said: I've been running. My leg hurt but I pushed myself. Is it normal that I'm in an excrutiating pain right now?

 

This might well be the last time any of us is answering this type of questions from you. Before you post you could go through your thread and you will find out that it has been answered many times over.

 

It may come as a surprise to you but there are a lot of people who don't post their individual stories but read stories of others and get all the info they need for their journeys.

 

Sometimes we see the error of our ways when we see it in others.

 

Also there are no symptoms that would be specific to a benzo or a particular ADs. If you open any thread you will see that everybody has more or less the same symptoms.

 

I already answered your question on is it Xanax or Zoloft so just go a few posts back. You were doing a lot better before you started this very demanding job which would be very taxing on a perfectly healthy nervous system.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok well again I'm holding on the Zoloft for now and I'm trying to take it one day at a time and I've been told these kinda of waves extreme ones are not uncommon during benzo WD and I'm sure the Zoloft isn't helping but I don't think it's a good idea and as you suggest I'm gonna hold for now.

 

As far as my job it is very stressful and very demanding I've already started to look for other options but I'll have to continue it till I can find something else.

 

This is just extremely hard and the symptoms have been so severe over the past 2 weeks I'm just trying to make it through hoping this wave lets up soon.