DMV64: reinstate Saphris?

[DMV64]

On 6/1/2019 at 12:12 PM, Shep said:

benzo

@Shep @JanCarol @manymoretodays   I am just wondering. I understand The analogy about pulling out the Benzo.  But it really is causing you to be in this constant state of anxiety. Isn’t Geoden quite sedating and would help cover the taper of the bento?

[Shep]

31 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

@Shep @JanCarol @manymoretodays   I am just wondering. I understand The analogy about pulling out the Benzo.  But it really is causing you to be in this constant state of anxiety. Isn’t Geoden quite sedating and would help cover the taper of the bento?

 

Once you are finished tapering the Saphris and have stabilized, let's revisit this. It's possible that Geoden can help with sleep while you taper the benzo, but please note that the constant state of anxiety may be from a destabilized nervous system as opposed to a side effect of the benzo. 

 

With a long history of polydrug use, it's really hard to sort it out. 

 

Once you are off the Saphris and stablized, you could do a few days of a drug and symptoms journal and we can go through it. It will also be good to get JanCarol and MMT's take on it, as well, as they are more familiar with your taper. 

[DMV64]

1 hour ago, Shep said:

Once you are finished tapering the Saphris and have stabilized, let's revisit this.

Yes, I would like to. I just feel this way about the benzo because the time I accidentally took an extra dose the anxiety went away.

[manymoretodays]

3 hours ago, DMV64 said:

I am just wondering. I understand The analogy about pulling out the Benzo.  But it really is causing you to be in this constant state of anxiety. Isn’t Geoden quite sedating and would help cover the taper of the bento?

 

Hi DMV,

My own experience with Geodon was that it was sedating, to some degree, but ugh, DMV, it's a antipsychotic/neuroleptic/whatever you want to call it........horrible drug.

If it were me, I'd want off it, sooner, rather than later.  Sure, it's somewhat sedating......I found it to be more hypnotic or tranquilizing.  For at least part of the day.  And then it had all kinds of other effects on me as well.  Go take a good look at the side effects of it.  And then there ARE those pesky drug interactions as well, when one is on many.

 

I don't think it's a good choice for covering Benzo WD.  No.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

[Rabe]

Hi DMV...Im sorry about your former sponsor.  My own experience has been that there are lots of wonderful people in AA who are working the program and getting well in all ways.  There are others who are on the dry drunk....they come to meetings, they're not drinking, but they are pointing 'fingers' at others rather than doing what it takes to look at themselves and REALLY get better.  As I often heard...when pointing a finger at others there are 3 pointing back at you.  

 

I agree with Rosetta...I have no clue what her issues are and its irrelevant to me...I just can hear that she is not well....she's there but not well.  Thats all you need to know...shes not well and she's not healthy or good for you.  You dont need to doubt yourself or question you're status because of her....Im sure there are plenty of others who are supportive and kind.  Stick close to those and stay away for her though she may not want it that way and may try to get that dynamic flowing again.  You can politely excuse yourself or just be more blunt and tell her how it has felt to hear the things she has said to you.  I personally would just stay away as it has been my experience that people like that wont hear what you actually say to them anyway and may turn it on you somehow...so to me it wouldn't be worth it as she has shown her true character.

Take care!  Thinking about you!💜

[DMV64]

Thanks Rabe. I am staying away from her. I have been around the rooms of AA long enough to recognize the signs. It was just hurtful and really disappointing. When I think back on asking her to be my temporary sponsor I realize there were signs but I was so desperate to get someone that I chose to ignore them. Anyway thanks for all your kind words and support. I do love my new sponsor, she’s great!!

[DMV64]

I am really wrestling with memory. I keep forgetting things. This has been going on awhile. Hoping it will get better. 

Looked at my signature I realize it’s not right. One of the times I was suicidal ( can’t remember which one) they upped my benzo because I did not want to go to the hospital. To 1.5. It helped for a short while and then stopped. What a waste. I should have known better. All I can attribute it to is the state I was in. 

I looked back and see I didn’t write anything about it. I wrote my journal entries without even fixing it.  I feel like a failure at keeping my sh*t straight. The cog fog is so bad with the confusion and memory. I just want to get off all these drugs. I feel stupid now. I am sorry. Maybe I need to get my husband to review my work. God I am trying so hard. I am sorry again to all my helpers for mistakes here.  : (   I fixed my signature. 

[DMV64]

I am trying really hard to let go of the resentment against my old sponsor. Like we do in program I have been praying for her every night or at least every night that I remember to help the resentment go away. But it  keeps lingering around. I do not wish to have it. I just want to accept that she is who she is. I don’t know I guess this whole thing really hit a sore spot in me.

On another note, I have had a really good day yesterday. It gives me a lot of hope.

[DMV64]

Any day that I have that I don’t have anxiety the entire day is a good day. I have been trying to write them down so that I don’t forget them. My husband and my therapist suggested that I do this so I can look back and see that it’s not always terrible anxiety all day

[DMV64]

On 6/12/2019 at 10:20 AM, manymoretodays said:

I don't think it's a good choice for covering Benzo WD.  No

@manymoretodaysI was really hoping it would be because I want off them so much. I also think my morning anxiery is causes by a combination of Geoden and benzos. What do you think?

[DMV64]

On 6/12/2019 at 6:52 AM, Shep said:

With a long history of polydrug use, it's really hard to sort it out.

@Shep It is really hard to sort out. I can't wait to get off Saphris. I would like to do a journal after I am stable and have you and the others look at it and tell me what is next.

[DMV64]

On 5/30/2019 at 9:40 AM, JanCarol said:

'm not really keen on the idea of cutting the tablet

@JanCarol I stopped doing this and am just using teh whole tablet.

[DMV64]

On 6/1/2019 at 12:12 PM, Shep said:

What is happening in your brain?

I know I read this before but now reading it on a good day, well it is an amazing resource!

[Rosetta]

I'm so glad you had good day. -R

[DMV64]

Thank Rosetta.  I almost feel like maybe I could clean out my file cabinet. I guess I’ll just have to see how today goes.

[DMV64]

I have had to let a lot go. Like doing my finances each month. Keeping good records. You know. 

[DMV64]

@JanCarol Hi...I am wondering what you think about the Geoden vs. Benzo for next taper? I know Shep said to wait to hear from you and MMT. MMT thinks it is definitely not a good idea to do benzos first. I am thinking you will agree. I am not there yet but just wondering as I am in a window now and can think and process better.

[Carmie]

Hi DMV, 

 

Thanks for popping around to say hi. Yes, I do love to look at the positives despite all we are going through. I think gratitude lists are great as they still help us to see the good despite withdrawals. 

 

One day, although still far away, I will write: “ No more withdrawals. Yay!🎉” 😁

 

Sending hugs🤗

[DMV64]

12 minutes ago, Carmie said:

One day, although still far away, I will write: “ No more withdrawals. Yay!🎉” 😁

Carmie I await this day. We will celebrate!

[Carmie]

2 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

Carmie I await this day. We will celebrate!

 

We sure will DMV🎉🎉🎉💚

[Rabe]

Hi DMV....hoping your weekend is going ok?  Just thinking about you and wanted you to know.  How is Zelda?  How are you doing with your meds and all? Hows worK and life?  Hope things are going ok!!  Hugs to you DMV!💜

[DMV64]

I keep dropping things. What is that about? Also my memory is scaring me. I am putting things in weird wrong places. 

[DMV64]

@manymoretodays I have been put on Macrobid for a UTI. It is making it hard to sleep. Ideas?

[Rabe]

Hi DMV...I think the dropping things and the memory are ok...hope so cause I do it...especially the memory.  I think is less memory and more just that my mind is somewhere else.  Non the less it is disturbing and im sorry you are dealing with these. 

I dont do well with antibiotics in general...hoping the mods can help you with if it is an issue with you and your meds though Im sure you have checked for interactions.  Hope you feel better soon!!  Take care DMV!!💜

[Rosetta]

I drop things.  It's worse sometimes.  I think it's a Windows and waves thing for me.

[DMV64]

Oh good well at least I am not alone.

This UTI is killing me. They switched me to Augmentin because it did not seem like Macrobid was resolving it. And it was making me feel like pounding heart even though pulse was 72.

[JanCarol]

Hey D - 

 

Sorry to hear about your UTI.  I went through a period of about 3 years where I got UTI's at the drop of a hat.  If I travelled it was about 50% more likely to happen (because I guess my routine is disrupted, you tend to "hold" a little longer when you're away from home - and you don't always get good clean water and sometimes make choices that go against the grain).  But I have kidney damage from lithium, so this is sadly, perfectly normal for me.

UTI's are common in "normal" women, too.  So - it may not have anything to do with withdrawal.

Macrobid is not one of the super dangerous ones. It's similar to what they give me when I get UTI's.   It is metabolised in the liver - I did a quick check and didn't see any conflicts, but it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!! a good idea when you get a new drug to go to:
Drugs.com Drug Interaction checker 

And put in all of your drugs.  We know that some of your drugs already have conflicts, but please check to see if Macrobid interacts with any of them, and how.

 

Things to watch for with Macrobid are diarrhea, chest pain, fever,  weakness, patchy skin or rashes, dark urine, breathlessness, or burping bile.  It can also contribute to yeast infections, so be sure to eat your yogurt in between doses!  And - don't get pregnant while on it!  😉

I think you'll be okay, as long as it's a short course.  UTI's are nasty, it's better to get rid of them, than not.

To prevent them, you can add cranberry juice to your diet, and I've heard that d-Mannose helps keep the bacteria from sticking to your urinary tract (but I haven't trialled it on myself yet - I seem to be on hiatus from UTI's right now, knock wood!)

But once you have them, I don't know of any way to get rid of them except for antibiotics.  I have heard of people using colloidal silver with mixed results.  And again, you don't want to use it too often, or for too long.

So - if you tolerate the Macrobid, just put up with it for the 10 day course, but if you get symptoms (or find a major conflict on your Drugs.com chart) - you may have to switch to another antibiotic.  Just be sure and avoid the ciprofloxacin and other "flox" antibiotics.  They're too risky, and there are alternatives.
 

Hope this helps,

And I hope you see the sun today!

Edited June 21, 2019 by JanCarol

[DMV64]

Yes thank you very helpful. It looks like the Macrobid is not working so they switched me to Augmentin. The culture is still not back so we really don’t know if I’m on the right antibiotic, which is a little upsetting. I just hope my client hold that baby in for a few more days until I feel better.

[DMV64]

@Carmie @Rosetta @Rabe Today I feel hopeless. This UTI is not resolving, antibiotic number two. I need to get better. Plus my anxiety and depression are both up. I woke up today just feeling like I am so tired of this. I watched my neighbors last night packing up to go to the beach for the weekend, surfboards and all. I just felt so sad. I could not do all that no matter how much I want to. I  just want to be normal. NORMAL. Be able to do things. Today I have no idea how I will manage my son's wedding in September. All I want to do is cry. Or sleep. But neither are happening. And I want to move to the city out of the lonely suburbs but I can't mange that either.

Things I am grateful for:

My husband

The sun

Flowers

All of you

That it is not worse

Chocolate

[Rosetta]

Yes, it's really hard to see other people doing what we can't do.  I didn't do much yesterday.  It's Summer, and I want to enjoy it, but I know there will be days when I can.  There will be days when you can, too.  

 

The Uti is very unfortunate.  The suggestion from JanCarol is a good one -- cranberry juice and the substance in cranberry juice that you can buy at health food stores.  I've never tried that pill form, cranberry juice - without any sugar -- works.  It would be a good idea to drink that for weeks and weeks after you feel it's gone.

 

I want to be normal, too!!!  I try to remind myself that no one is normal and some people are much sicker than I am even those who never took ADs.  That helps a little ~ right, DMV ~ it's not worse!!  I'm grateful for that!

 

 

[DMV64]

Yes Rosetta. That helps. : ) I do have that stuff called d-mannose. Are used to use it all the time back when I used to get UTIs. I just got the results of the sensitivity test and they told me that I am now on the right antibiotic so I hope that it will get better. Especially because I have a client who was due yesterday to have her baby!

I get envious pretty easily. I just feel like I want to go ahead and be able to do things, especially little mini vacations. But it’s actually just too much for me. I hope that will change.

[JanCarol]

Hey D - 

 

On 6/21/2019 at 10:22 PM, DMV64 said:

They switched me to Augmentin because it did not seem like Macrobid was resolving it.

 

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.  It does sound like they are being cautious in their prescribing, and now that the tests are back, you will get better.

 

Sounds like it is time to drink cranberry juice too.  I found that 3 glasses of water, then one of cranberry - and NOTHING else.  No OJ, no coffee, tea, nothing else.

And REST.  A UTI can knock your whole system for a loop.  I find them to be very draining, and the antibiotics fighting the infection to be tiring too.

I remember when hubby had his prostate surgery, he had a period of about 3 months where he was prone to UTI's, and he began to understand what women (me!) go through!  He said,  "OMG, is this what it's like for you?"  I'm like, "Yup."  and "Poor darling!"

 

 

9 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I've never tried that pill form, cranberry juice - without any sugar -- works.  

 

Consumer Labs cannot find any indicators that the pill form does any good.  The juice does, and personally I prefer the sugar version to the "diet version" but I think I'm allergic (or hate) most "sweeteners."  That's why drink tons of water in between glasses.

You really cannot drink too much water!  

14 hours ago, DMV64 said:

Things I am grateful for:

My husband

The sun

Flowers

All of you

That it is not worse

Chocolate

 

Well done!  I'd like to move out of the "lonely" suburbs to the bush, but with my conditions it would be more challenge than I am willing to handle.  At least where I am now, I am 10 minutes from tai chi class, 15 minutes from yoga, 10 minutes from grocery, chemist and coffee shop, and 10 minutes from karate and massage.  If I lived further out, it would be quiet, I wouldn't be having the chainsaw on Sunday Morning that I'm having today. . . or the barking dogs (or at least they'd be further away) - but - I also wouldn't be able to get to community as quickly as I can now.

I hope you see the sun today!  (sitting in the sun when you have an infection is a good idea, too!)

[DMV64]

Hey there I’m just about to jump into bed and caught this. So what I found out today is that I actually have two bacteria and one of them was sensitive to the antibiotic they gave me and the other one wasn’t. Don’t ask me how they read those results wrong. Apparently now I’m on my first dose of the right antibiotic. Which is a sulfa drug, not my favorite but it’s the one that’s going to knock out both of the bacteria. I’m going to read over your post to me tomorrow, I have to try to go to sleep now. I’m still waiting on this baby and I hope the mama keeps it in because I need to get better for us

[DMV64]

It’s funny you want to live in the bush and I want to move into the city! I actually can’t drink cranberry juice because it’s pretty acidic and it aggravates my chronic bladder condition which is interstitial cystitis. I’m supposed to stay away from things that are acidic. I know it sounds counterintuitive

[neroli]

Hi DMV

 

Popping in to day hello and hope that UTI goes soon and you can have one of your good days like you did just before this kicked off.

 

On 6/22/2019 at 11:42 PM, DMV64 said:

I watched my neighbors last night packing up to go to the beach for the weekend, surfboards and all. I just felt so sad. I could not do all that no matter how much I want to. I  just want to be normal. NORMAL. Be able to do things.

 

I'm right there with you on this.  Aside from the anxiety, fatigue etc. from the WDs, this is one of my most grief-inducing thoughts.

 

One day..................we will be able to do these things

 

love and best wishes 

 

Neroli 💜

[DMV64]

7 hours ago, neroli said:

UTI

Thank you. I think I’m finally on the right antibiotic. It has taken three. I don’t know why they put me on Augmentin when I apparently have two different kinds of bacteria and one of them is not sensitive to Augmentin. It’s crazy. Anyway yes I think one of the biggest grief things is not being able to really participate in life the way I want to. I just want to get up and go and I know it’s not possible for me right now