samanthaelizabeth: How do you manage to keep working while taper off

[samanthaelizabeth]

6 hours ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

So, i'm not sure that I have stabilized on 200MG yet. Why am I even considering a taper?  I don't know that the zoloft is ever going to make me happy again, especially with everything that has happened from the Wellbutrin.  My behavior on the wellbutrin was attrocious!  I can't believe that was me making those horrible decisions, I thought I was anxious and not happy with our move to another state!  Should I just stay on it or risk everything by tapering off of it?

 

Can someone please help me with this question above?  I'm going to my new GP in the morning.  Should I just ask for my regular prescription (200 MG) all in liquid form and then get my 180MG that way?  (10% reduction) I just don't feel right still almost as if I am withdrawing from a benzo, plus this tinnitus in my left ear hasn't stopped.  Thank you

[samanthaelizabeth]

9 hours ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Can someone please help me with this question above?  I'm going to my new GP in the morning.  Should I just ask for my regular prescription (200 MG) all in liquid form and then get my 180MG that way?  (10% reduction) I just don't feel right still almost as if I am withdrawing from a benzo, plus this tinnitus in my left ear hasn't stopped.  Thank you

Please i'm going to a brand new doctor this morning, please someone answer the above question.  My new doctor is going to wonder why i'm not going to my Pdoc for this. How do I approach him about this?

[Shep]

Please see:

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?
 
What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

You may want to ask our doctor for liquid because you want to "reduce Zoloft" rather than "come off of Zoloft". 

 

On 6/10/2013 at 6:08 PM, Lilu said:

Rhi 
There are a few tricks that I've found that sometimes help when dealing with doctors.

 

One is, instead of saying "I want off my meds" say "I want to see how I do at a lower dose." Because all doctors know that the lowest effective dose is what you want to shoot for. So "let's find out my lowest effective dose" doesn't set off their alarms as much as "I want to stop taking the drug."

 

Also, they believe these drugs actually are beneficial, and you can use that. Maybe your doc will continue to give you prescriptions and not rush you so much if you say, “Hm, I want to see how I do staying on this dose for a while. I sure don't want that doggone depression to come back, so I want to just hold here for a while and make sure it doesn't come back because golly gee willikers, maybe this drug is good for me.” (At the lowest possible effective dose.)

 

You know, basically, just kind of speak their language so you can get them to give you what you need to do the taper at a speed that works for you.

 

 

Please work on not coming across as desperate. Your posts are highly anxious and this doesn't always go over well with doctors. 

 

Your could say that you wish to reduce your medication because you are also taking MS medication and you want to get to the lowest effective dose of the Zoloft because your brain and body are having to process more medication now. Or something like that. 

 

Like Rhi said in the above quote, speak in their language. 

 

A couple of relaxation exercises to help:

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen video (3.5 minutes0

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

Stay as calm and collected as possible. If your thoughts start to get agitated, take a deep breath and think of something calming - walking in a park, petting a kitten, looking at a starlit summer sky. 

 

Let us know how you do. 

[samanthaelizabeth]

1 hour ago, Shep said:

Please see:

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?
 
What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

You may want to ask our doctor for liquid because you want to "reduce Zoloft" rather than "come off of Zoloft". 

 

 

Please work on not coming across as desperate. Your posts are highly anxious and this doesn't always go over well with doctors. 

 

Your could say that you wish to reduce your medication because you are also taking MS medication and you want to get to the lowest effective dose of the Zoloft because your brain and body are having to process more medication now. Or something like that. 

 

Like Rhi said in the above quote, speak in their language. 

 

A couple of relaxation exercises to help:

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen video (3.5 minutes0

 

The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn video (4 minutes)

 

Stay as calm and collected as possible. If your thoughts start to get agitated, take a deep breath and think of something calming - walking in a park, petting a kitten, looking at a starlit summer sky. 

 

Let us know how you do. 

Thank you Shep, What if he wants to know why I am coming to him for this one my first visit? I have never seen this doctor before.  What if he tells me to reduce to 150mg?  That will be too much of a drop for me.  Sorry that my posts seem highly anxious, but I am anxious about this.  I don't even know that I slept that well last night.

[manymoretodays]

Hi Sam,

Hope you don't mind.......saw the above and had some thoughts to share.  Consider just focusing on.........that you just need to get the scripts, that you need to do this reduction.  Just that.  For this visit today.  I don't know that you need to worry about every possible scenario right now.  And do try........some of the relaxation exercises that Shep linked you on up to.  Now.......and before you go into your appointment.  4-7-8.  4-7-8.

Of course you are anxious.  Understood.

Best, and Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

......and edited here.......my apologies Sam.......I should have said........if I were you, this is how I would address the current anxiety around my upcoming appointment.  Ultimately......it IS your decision and best effort.  I can respect that.

Edited February 14, 2018 by manymoretodays

[samanthaelizabeth]

Score!  I got my prescription for liquid Zoloft!  He gave me my regular dose 200MG = 10 ml per day! Covert Mission accomplished!  Of course he said that zoloft wasn't addictive-Anyway to get to 190mg (I'm too scared to reduce 10% right now) So I think 5% will be good.  I guess I would measure 9.5ml?  I hope this isn't a mistake.  I don't want to be on this stuff forever, but I'm afraid to even reduce.

[degen12]

Congratulations! That is a great feeling, for sure.

[samanthaelizabeth]

2 hours ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Score!  I got my prescription for liquid Zoloft!  He gave me my regular dose 200MG = 10 ml per day! Covert Mission accomplished!  Of course he said that zoloft wasn't addictive-Anyway to get to 190mg (I'm too scared to reduce 10% right now) So I think 5% will be good.  I guess I would measure 9.5ml?  I hope this isn't a mistake.  I don't want to be on this stuff forever, but I'm afraid to even reduce.

Can someone please assist me with the above?  

[degen12]

38 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Can someone please assist me with the above?  

 

You are correct.

200 mg / 10 mL = 20 mg per mL

desired dose in mg / 20 mg per mL = required mL

190 mg / 20 mg per mL = 9.5 mL

 

[samanthaelizabeth]

23 minutes ago, degen12 said:

 

You are correct.

200 mg / 10 mL = 20 mg per mL

desired dose in mg / 20 mg per mL = required mL

190 mg / 20 mg per mL = 9.5 mL

 

@degen12Thank you for responding.  I really appreciate it,  I don't mean to sound so frantic, I was very calm at the doctor!  I am afraid to do a 10% taper, so I'm only going to start out with 5% taper.  I don't know that I will ever get completely off Fu this stuff, but I want to see how low I can go without problems.  I was only of Zoloft for one full day after a very quick taper but I think going back on the full dose messed me up. I've never had tinnitus before,now my left ear hasn't stopped ringing for a month.  I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to take the Ativan, Ativan is what caused all this mess.  Thank you for your help, very kind of you!  Hope you are doing well!

 

[samanthaelizabeth]

I just wanted to journal my day so far.

 

I went to a brand new GP today, he was very nice and spent about 45 minutes with me, which is very rare these days!  I was able to get him to prescribe liquid zoloft for me which I will start day after tomorrow.  It was actually very easy, I just told him that I am having trouble swallowing the tablets now because of my MS.  One thing that made me feel good is that he put in my chart that although I take Zoloft the reason I was put on it was due to my "Adverse Reaction" to Ativan back in '99.  I am  I'm very happy with my new doctor and don't think I will be going back to my PDOC.   It just feels good to not have to go to a psychiatrist.  Is there anything I should know about taking the liquid form of Zoloft?  Maybe I should start with part tablet part liquid to get to 190mg?  I don't pick it up until tomorrow afternoon, So I will stick with my 200MG at 6am until then.  Thanks!

[ChessieCat]

Some people experience problems changing from tablet to liquid.  Also SA recommends only making 1 change at a time so changing to liquid and also making a reduction is not recommended.  You might want to consider doing a switch over by 3/4 (150mg) tablet + 1/4 (=50mg) liquid for 3 days, 1/2 (100mg) tablet + 1/2 (=100mg) liquid for 3 days, 1/4 (50mg) tablet + 3/4 (150mg) liquid for 3 days then =200mg liquid for a more days before making a reduction.

 

Make sure you Keep Notes on Paper

[samanthaelizabeth]

Okay great! Thank you @ChessieCat!

[samanthaelizabeth]

Just some random thoughts for today;  I'm sitting here watching the news of the horrific tragedy that occurred today at a Florida high school.  It strikes me as ironic, because Right before I started taking Zoloft was the Columbine tragedy in 99.  Also, My whole life I was determined to never end up like my mother as she was an alcoholic and died from it when I was ten,  This is why I hardly ever drank alcohol, because I never wanted to get addicted to it.  And now i'm addicted to Zoloft and have been for 19 years! I just never thought of it as an "addiction".  Even my new doctor that I saw today said "Oh, i'm not worried about the Zoloft, it's not addictive"  I almost laughed in his face, but kept my composure so I could complete my covert mission of tapering.  Day after tomorrow I will begin my taper of 5% to start.

[ChessieCat]

Just in case you didn't see this in my last post:

 

3 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Also SA recommends only making 1 change at a time so changing to liquid and also making a reduction is not recommended.

 

See Post #1 of this topic:  the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

[samanthaelizabeth]

1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

Just in case you didn't see this in my last post:

 

 

See Post #1 of this topic:  the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

Yes, thank you CC. I'm going to take your adivise and -

Some people experience problems changing from tablet to liquid.  Also SA recommends only making 1 change at a time so changing to liquid and also making a reduction is not recommended.  You might want to consider doing a switch over by 3/4 (150mg) tablet + 1/4 (=50mg) liquid for 3 days, 1/2 (100mg) tablet + 1/2 (=100mg) liquid for 3 days, 1/4 (50mg) tablet + 3/4 (150mg) liquid for 3 days then =200mg liquid for a more days before making a reduction. (3 more days)

[samanthaelizabeth]

I'm not even sure if I took my Zoloft this morning.  I think I did at 6am and went back to bed.  I think I did because I woke up again drenched in sweat, blankets and everything.  I am questioning what I'm doing, Why am I wanting to taper?  I already feel depressed over all the bad choices I have made in the last few years.  Especially when/after I took Wellbutrin-I quit so many jobs which is not like me at all. I just attributed it to the anxiety of moving out of state and not wanting to be here (in new state).  My husband said it's okay if I don't want to work, but I feel so guilty about it.  I start counseling next week to try and find some non-drug techniques to cope.  I have been a VERY strong person my whole life, I dealt with my mother's death at age 10, My father who I suspected was molesting my sister from a you age (this was confirmed by her later) and my fathers having a stroke at a young age and being in the hospital for two years.  I never needed an antidepressant for any of this.  I'm sitting here crying because I don't know what I'm doing,  Should I just switch to another AD, or do I taper off?  Will I become more depressed, because I can tell you that I am not happy right now.  I read the stories of people who have switched AD's, which it seems to me the reason they are trying to come off AD's to begin with.  They were doing okay, then switched and all hell broke lose.  God, I wish I would have known everything that I know know.  Especially with the Ativan-I would have known to reinstate and then taper slowly, and then I would never have needed to go on Zoloft.  And the fear of ever feeling that way again (after the Ativan CT) had scared me to the point of being on this for almost 20 years.  I can't talk to my husband, he wants to enjoy the rest of his life, not deal with extreme moods.

 

I felt somewhat empowered yesterday, getting my Zoloft in liquid form.  I even had a  appetite yesterday.  I'm not sure but I think the morning is when I feel the worst, after I take my Zoloft and throughout the day, I think until some of it wears off.  I'm not sure.  I never felt like this before on Zoloft (with the heavy sweating and so forth)  Is it possible that the quick taper (in a week) and the fast reinstatement made me not be able to tolerate the high dose?  Should I start tapering? I'm also scared of the liquid but I was given advise on how to switch over.  I want to be happy again.  I'm not sure what I'm doing.  Do I trust the doctors?  Or do I trust SA?  I know that I don't want to be a guinea pig with these doctors, or end up in the hospital.  But I also don't want to make my husbands life miserable.  I do not trust doctors at all anymore, it's so sad that this is happening to so many people.  How could they get away with this?  People don't want to believe it because they automatically think that if you are on a prescribed AD that you are already mentally ill, so they just think it's you and not the drug.  Sorry for my writing, I guess I can't write anymore either.  How do I speak to my counselor, they work with the hospitals and if I cry will she think I need to be admitted?  How much do I tell her?  My work has always been my self esteem and now I don't even have that.   Thanks for listening. 

 

Sam

[samanthaelizabeth]

I don't feel like anyone reads my posts, I know there are others that are suffering more.  But, I still need some support/advice.  It seems like everyone has support from their spouses or loved ones My husband doesn't tolerate this and doesn't understand.  This could very well lead to the end of my marriage, if I don't fake it.  How do others (anyone feel free to answer) cope /act around their spouses? Do you fake it? Act as if?  I just feel so sad about this whole situation and I feel weak, like I can't believe i'm not handling this well.  I am very disappointed in myself, mad that I even let this happen. I know, I know emotional spiral right?  Sometimes, I feel like my life is over and I don't want it to be. I used to love life and I want to be a happy again. Will tapering actually make me happy again? It doesn't seem like my regular dose is doing anything, although it's only been a month since I reinstated.  But then again I was only fully off of it for one day, with a 1 week taper.  Maybe I need more time to stablize before I taper?  But what about this awful sweating?  I'm going to end up in the hospital for dehydration.  Sorry to bother you all, I guess I really do need counseling to figure this out.  What in Gods name to I tell the counselor? Sometimes I think about moving out and just living by myself where there are no expectations.  I have company coming this weekend and don't really feel like being a hostess.

[ChessieCat]

Changing to another AD can open up a whole different can of worms.  You might end up suffering withdrawal from the old drug and/or start up issues from the new drug, and possibly even side effects or a bad reaction from the new drug.  Because of the change from the old to a new drug you will not know what is causing the issues.

 

It would seem from what you have been describing that you are on too high a dose of Zoloft.  I have experienced mild serotonin toxicity (Altostrata, this site's founder,  has also had serotonin toxicity).  Once my dose got a little bit lower, I started feeling a bit better.  At that time, looking back, I realised that I had been feeling constantly unsettled within myself (sort of feeling agitated and on edge) and had a lot of trouble concentrating.

 

You have received a lot of new information recently.  It's a lot to take in and can be overwhelming.

 

As far as what happened in the past with the Ativan, this happened in the past and you cannot go back and change it.  You did what you thought was the right thing at the time.  Yes, you know differently now, but that's typical of life, we make decisions based on the knowledge we have at that time.  Now it's time to accept.  It's much easier said than done, but once you can learn to accept that things are what they are at this time, then you can move forward.  Acceptance

 

One thing at a time.  You have a plan in place to do the switch over from tablet to liquid.  Then you can start your taper of Zoloft.  You can start with a 5% reduction.  Keep Notes on Paper.  If things are going well after 2-3 weeks you could then do another 5% reduction.

 

With life we go through different stages.  Part of our identity is linked to the stage that we are in.  When that stage changes we have to change too.  A therapist can help with this.

[samanthaelizabeth]

35 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Changing to another AD can open up a whole different can of worms.  You might end up suffering withdrawal from the old drug and/or start up issues from the new drug, and possibly even side effects or a bad reaction from the new drug.  Because of the change from the old to a new drug you will not know what is causing the issues.

 

It would seem from what you have been describing that you are on too high a dose of Zoloft.  I have experienced mild serotonin toxicity (Altostrata, this site's founder,  has also had serotonin toxicity).  Once my dose got a little bit lower, I started feeling a bit better.  At that time, looking back, I realised that I had been feeling constantly unsettled within myself (sort of feeling agitated and on edge) and had a lot of trouble concentrating.

 

You have received a lot of new information recently.  It's a lot to take in and can be overwhelming.

 

As far as what happened in the past with the Ativan, this happened in the past and you cannot go back and change it.  You did what you thought was the right thing at the time.  Yes, you know differently now, but that's typical of life, we make decisions based on the knowledge we have at that time.  Now it's time to accept.  It's much easier said than done, but once you can learn to accept that things are what they are at this time, then you can move forward.  Acceptance

 

One thing at a time.  You have a plan in place to do the switch over from tablet to liquid.  Then you can start your taper of Zoloft.  You can start with a 5% reduction.  Keep Notes on Paper.  If things are going well after 2-3 weeks you could then do another 5% reduction.

 

With life we go through different stages.  Part of our identity is linked to the stage that we are in.  When that stage changes we have to change too.  A therapist can help with this.

Thank you @ChessieCat, I really appreciate the response. I'm crying right now, while typing this..  You are right, I guess I need to learn acceptance.  I'm going to tell my therapist everything.  She probably won't want to see me, she will probably say that I need to switch AD'S, what then?  I will do as you say.  But right now I feel depressed, will lowering my dose make me  happy?  I guess I have to learn to be happy regardless of drugs, I used to be able to do this..Thank you again, you have been so kind and supportive.  I have a lot of work to do on myself, I guess i have just pushed everything away because I had the crutch of Zoloft.

[ChessieCat]

3 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

she will probably say that I need to switch AD'S, what then?

 

You could ask her why she thinks that you should change and after listening say firmly "no, I would prefer to stay on the AD I am on."

 

4 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

But right now I feel depressed, will lowering my dose make me  happy? 

 

If you are suffering serotonin toxicity, which is a strong possibility due to the high dose of Zoloft and also taking Remeron, some of what you are experiencing is quite possibly due to it.  Confusion and agitation/restlessness are symptoms of it.

 

Just keep reminding yourself - one step at a time.

[samanthaelizabeth]

Thank you!  I hope I am doing the right thing.  It seems easier to get off of Anti-Psychotics to be honest with you, after reading everyone's stories.

[ChessieCat]

8 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

It seems easier to get off of Anti-Psychotics to be honest with you, after reading everyone's stories.

 

There are so many variables, type of drug, dose of drug, number of drugs, length of use, going on and off etc and then individual genetics, lifestyles and life issues, that you can't compare experiences.

 

Altostrata uses the expression that we are all an experiment where N=1.

[ChessieCat]

And some members have found that a drug that they had no problems getting off years ago, that same drug they have difficulties with now.

[samanthaelizabeth]

I have made the decision that I'm not going to try to totally taper off of Zoloft ( not yet) I'm going to reduce as much as I can.  I don't know that this is going to make me feel better mentally but maybe it will make the sweats go away.  I can't see anyone on this site that has been on such a high dose for as long as I have and have gotten off without serious lingering problems.  Why did I beg the doctor to increase my dose to such a high amount?  Because I needed my life back and it wasn't happening fast enough!

 

 

[samanthaelizabeth]

My genetics are awful.  My mother drank herself to death, her mother killed herself when she was young and my half-sister killed herself (after being taken off of a drug abruptly that she was clearly addicted to).  What am I in for? I guess we'll see!

[ChessieCat]

1 minute ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Why did I beg the doctor to increase my dose to such a high amount?  Because I needed my life back and it wasn't happening fast enough!

 

Patience is much needed when it comes to getting off/reducing these drugs.

 

2 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

I have made the decision that I'm not going to try to totally taper off of Zoloft ( not yet) I'm going to reduce as much as I can.

 

When I first started reducing my dose, my goal was to get to 50mg Pristiq.  In Australia Pristiq is only available in 50mg & 100mg.  That was when I still believed the chemical imbalance myth.  Once I learned about the drugs, reading Anatomy of an Epidemic and Your Drug May Be Your Problem and also watching/listening to things on the internet and learning a lot from SA, I realised that getting off Pristiq was possible, but my thought too was that I would get as low as I could.  And I'm now down to 12mg.  As I said, one step at a time.

 

4 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

My genetics are awful.  My mother drank herself to death, her mother killed herself when she was young and my half-sister killed herself (after being taken off of a drug abruptly that she was clearly addicted to).  What am I in for? I guess we'll see!

 

This is catastrophic thinking.  This is something you could ask your therapist to help you with.  After my initial experience trying to reduce my dose I was both excited and scared about commencing my taper.  And there is a reason for this.  We don't know what is going to happen.  It's normal to be scared of the unknown.  Many members here have commented on being scared about when they get off their drug completely.  Again it is an unknown.  No, you don't know what is going to happen and it is okay to make that statement, but after making that statement you don't dwell on it and start imagining all the possibilities of what might happen.  If you do this then the next stage is trying to makes plans for if those things happen.  That is very stressful and saps your energy.  It is also trying to live in the (unknown) future.  You can only live today, making reasonable plans for the future, but not creating things which may never eventuate.

[samanthaelizabeth]

Okay, thank you Chessie!

[samanthaelizabeth]

You see, i'm feeling better now.  The mornings are really tough for me.  I hope the switch to liquid doesn't give me a problem, and given that fact that it's the Actual brand name Zoloft.  What do you think?

[ChessieCat]

12 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

What do you think?

 

You're starting to think catastrophically again.

 

[Altostrata]

Please read back over the responses to all your posts in this topic, many of your questions have been answered more than once.

[samanthaelizabeth]

26 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Please read back over the responses to all your posts in this topic, many of your questions have been answered more than once.

Sorry, will do.

[samanthaelizabeth]

I apologize, You all have been so helpful.  I am not a critical case right now and I know there are people who are suffering more than myself.  We all appreciate your time and don't want to waste it on redundant questions.  I will keep you posted on my progress.  Thank you again, you are doing the world a great service.  

 

Sam

 

[samanthaelizabeth]

On 1/17/2018 at 11:55 AM, nz11 said:

Be patient SE you will stabilize and feel better I'm sure. But it will take a little bit of time. 

If I were you I would do all I could to keep that job.

You can do it.

 

I can't find one story where someone went off of these drugs without ending up in the hospital.  I'm not even sure why I am considering tapering?  I've been on this for 19 years and have been fine, just recently I thought it wasn't helping me anymore ( maybe that is because of the Klonopin)?  I still don't feel like it's doing anything right now, as Alto says it's just keeping me from going into withdrawal.  If I start to taper (which I know will take 5* years)  What happens when I finally jump?  Am i going to end up in the hospital?  I just need one story that can convince me to even attempt this taper.  I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I still have a lot of life left in me, at least (hopefully) 20 years but am I supposed to stay on this drug until I die?

[Rosetta]

I didn't go in the hospital (thank God, they may have killed me.). It was rough, Sam, very rough.  I would not recommended it!  I'm still surprised I survived.  I practically CT'd -- fast taper of Zoloft and CT of Trazodone.  Not sure about the Xanax.  I don't know if I was hooked or not.  Probably not, but with the other cessation of the two drugs there's no way to know.  If I was it's too bad I didn't know about the brake action.  At one point I was much more ill than you are now Kesh.  I hope you aren't thinking about a CT of the benzo.  Tapering will ill be a much easier way to go.  I think you are suffering the way I was at 150 mg.  I'm so sorry you are in this position.  -- Rosetta

[cogitoergonumb]

Hey SE,

 

The topic heading really spiked my interest as I'm at the start of my Effexor :-/ tapering journey and am wondering how I'm going to continue working. Joined AD on Tuesday so I'm a real newbie.

My job involves driving (and giving technical lectures to customers... Talk about anxiety inducing when you're going through partial WDs) I'm just going to play it by ear and stabilize on the dose I take currently though at the moment I'm feeling pretty rough.

 

I'll continue to troll with great interest through the posts here. Somehow reassuring how many others have struggled with Psychiatry. I'm in a bit of a mini window ATM :-) Feeling better after a pretty horrid afternoon.