Longroadhome: think I may be tapering Seroxat / Paxil too fast

[Erell]

On 12/20/2020 at 6:40 PM, Longroadhome said:

Forgot to mention my sleep is generally good 😊 

 

So happy to read that you managed to stabilise after this hard summer 😊

Seems like you will beat this Paxil !

 

Sending my support ❤

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, Erell said:

 

So happy to read that you managed to stabilise after this hard summer 😊

Seems like you will beat this Paxil !

 

Sending my support ❤

Thank you Erell! 
I am 100% committed to getting off this drug whatever it takes . 
I am not without symptoms but I take one day at a time and I’m coping. 
I have never been free of symptoms either because I started off in tolerance and for a number of years I have had different things wrong with me  that I now know was Paxil related . 
I am continuing my taper this year and  have just decreased to 4mg. x
 

 

[Erell]

On 1/8/2021 at 10:11 AM, Longroadhome said:

Thank you Erell! 
I am 100% committed to getting off this drug whatever it takes . 
I am not without symptoms but I take one day at a time and I’m coping. 
I have never been free of symptoms either because I started off in tolerance and for a number of years I have had different things wrong with me  that I now know was Paxil related . 
I am continuing my taper this year and  have just decreased to 4mg. x

 

I'm glad to read your strenght : you really sound like you'll beat this Paxil beast !

And yes I understand, it's not always easy to navigate this process without real-cut windows : I never have big windows either, and sometimes it feels like we just feel bad all time. But when we look closer, we often notice that the bad is less bad, and that's definitely progress !

 

Sorry if I'm a bit kill-joy : I just realised that you went from 4.5mg to 4mg, and I know that you are being carefull, but I wanted to say it anyway : please don't rush things and take extra care of yourself ❤️

You've gone so far, I don't want to see you suffering because of too big drops.

You'll be an inspiration for a lot of people in the future.

 

Take care ☀️

[Longroadhome]

3 minutes ago, Erell said:

 

I'm glad to read your strenght : you really sound like you'll beat this Paxil beast !

And yes I understand, it's not always easy to navigate this process without real-cut windows : I never have big windows either, and sometimes it feels like we just feel bad all time. But when we look closer, we often notice that the bad is less bad, and that's definitely progress !

 

Sorry if I'm a bit kill-joy : I just realised that you went from 4.5mg to 4mg, and I know that you are being carefull, but I wanted to say it anyway : please don't rush things and take extra care of yourself ❤️

You've gone so far, I don't want to see you suffering because of too big drops.

You'll be an inspiration for a lot of people in the future.

 

Take care ☀️

Thank you Erell

and you’re not a kill joy  

although i have dropped to 4mg I do take a toothpick of Paxil on the evening and as it’s double the strength it’s prob not far off .1mg so you could say I’m down to 4.1mg but I will continue to take the teeny weeny dose of an evening all the way down as I feel 1 dose of a morning with 23 hours before the next is a bit long considering it’s short half life. 
I’m also trying out the 10% drop in one go and then giving my body four weeks at the same dose . I was doing brass monkey slide but not sure about different dose change every week on my system. Just trying to see what works best. 
I have weekly phone appointments with Baylissa and this helps tremendously can’t recommend her enough.

don’t have any other counselling sessions. I have tried in the past but never found anyone who deals with WD from these meds and really understands the process . Not one. 

And for anyone out there who is reading this and is from the UK i call The Bristol tranquilliser Helpline on days when  symptoms are intense and I just need to offload and get some reassurance. They are fantastic. It’s a voluntary organisation set up to help people who are experiencing involuntary addiction . 
 

I think when you have been a long term Paxil user it’s not going to be an easy ride coming down and off. Not for anyone . But what I can say is over time I have got use to living with certain symptoms that I work with and have become less afraid of and it helps. It lessens the anxiety which in tern lessens the intensity of the symptoms. Doesn’t always work I’m only human but it does work most times. 

We have to keep going Erell. We have to get to the other side and peace x

[Carmie]

Hi Longroadhome, 

 

Thanks for popping over to my thread. I’m glad to see that you’re getting the support you need to keep moving forward. I’m at baseline at the moment, as I haven’t tapered for many months, but I have managed to get from 5.60mg to 4.80mg since I was last on this site, which was about a year ago. Still have many years to go as I can only taper by around 4% or so every couple of months or so. Every taper is different as regards how long I hold. I could taper now, but I’ve been dealing with other health issues and might leave it a bit longer. I seem to make decisions from day to day. We will get there eventually.

 

Hope you have a good day, sending hugs🤗

[Longroadhome]

2 minutes ago, Carmie said:

Hi Longroadhome, 

 

Thanks for popping over to my thread. I’m glad to see that you’re getting the support you need to keep moving forward. I’m at baseline at the moment, as I haven’t tapered for many months, but I have managed to get from 5.60mg to 4.80mg since I was last on this site, which was about a year ago. Still have many years to go as I can only taper by around 4% or so every couple of months or so. Every taper is different as regards how long I hold. I could taper now, but I’ve been dealing with other health issues and might leave it a bit longer. I seem to make decisions from day to day. We will get there eventually.

 

Hope you have a good day, sending hugs🤗

Hi Carmie so good to hear from you ! 
you were the first person to help me when I landed on this site in 2019. Thank you.
4.8mg is great. We have to look at our starting point. 
you are also the same as me and never without symptoms . Yes it makes tapering difficult but you are determined I can see that ! 
 

im the same about making decisions. 
 

we will get there ive no doubt .. it just takes longer than we would like and a whole heap of patience. 
 

keep chipping away Carmie your system is re regulating itself each cut whatever percentage. Fact. X

[sunnysideup69]

Happy New Year @Longroadhome! Dropping by to see how you are and to say hello  I was very glad to read in your previous post that your sleep is good xxx

[Longroadhome]

16 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

Happy New Year @Longroadhome! Dropping by to see how you are and to say hello  I was very glad to read in your previous post that your sleep is good xxx

Happy New Year to you too Sunny 😊!

im doing ok thank you for asking.

Yes my sleep is good according to my fit bit so I can’t complain. I’m averaging 7 hours a night snd more sometimes.  

Have started my taper again from Paxil as of last month and just seeing how it goes really with no expectations either way. 
You seem to be doing well and that’s great I’m really pleased for you. 
we’ve  had to learn to be patient ( something I’ve never been blessed with ..) haven’t we and it’s not an easy ask but we learn from our mistakes. 
New year new beginning ; I’m putting my house up for sale this month and changing my car. 
 

How are you coping with lockdown? 

[sunnysideup69]

Wow! Selling your house! That's a big change...and a bold one! Good for you!

 

I'm glad you're doing ok. Overall, I'm alright, last three weeks or so have been mildly wavey but it's mostly circumstantial...Christmas stress, then lockdown. Also, not much other human contact since school broke up for the holidays, except for my parents for 2-3 days.

Mmm, lockdown is tricky for me, I feel a bit isolated, to be honest. Working from home via computer and stuck inside. Gonna try to start organising some walks with friends, whom I'm hardly seeing....times are just very odd. I'm definitely better when I can get up and out and go to work.

However, am just muddling through, telling myself these circumstances won't be forever. Spring is just around the corner.

How are you coping with lockdown?

[Longroadhome]

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

 

8 hours ago, sunnysideup69 said:

I think you’d probably feel better if you organised a walk with a friend every day. I do this and it helps. 
Its good exercise  you’re out socialising and being in the fresh air. Three positives!

I’ve been at my ex husbands since beginning of December were isolating together. It’s worked out well we’re into watching TV series Schitts Creek, Ozark and Queens Gambit etc ive never watched so much television for years !!

I pop into my nursery three times a week . I can only go into the office but check on areas via CCTV . 
Boris has kept us open but I think it’s got more to do with elements of the grant payment more than anything else as it doesn’t make sense . 
 

I think we’ll start to see a change in the right direction now the vaccines are being rolled out . Will you be having a vaccine ? I’m a bit worried  in case I react to it. You know how our system is during WD. 

[Hanna72]

My dear @Longroadhome

Just dropping by to cheer you on. You are doing so good and I have so much faith that you will be Paxil free one day.

Slow and steady my friend will get you over the finish line.

Sending hugs your way❤️

[Longroadhome]

6 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

My dear @Longroadhome

Just dropping by to cheer you on. You are doing so good and I have so much faith that you will be Paxil free one day.

Slow and steady my friend will get you over the finish line.

Sending hugs your way❤️

Hello Hanna I have replied to you on your thread x

[Dejavu]

Hi @Longroadhome, I've been away a while, licking my wounds. Just caught up on your thread and wondering how you're doing?

[Longroadhome]

Hello there @Dejavu

i was just updating my signature snd making it neat and tidy easier to read. 
I’m  doing ok thank you plodding along with the tapering. In a bit of a wave due to personal circumstances. It’s awful how emotions get so exadurated and hard to think around in WD isn’t it? My brain just can’t think outside of the upset it’s so all consuming. Trying to distract myself but it’s not working at the moment . Think Brassmonkey has a topic on spiralling thoughts 💭 and think I need to find it  
pretty quick!!   
 

How are you  have you been in a wave? 
 

[Dejavu]

It's really good to hear from you @Longroadhome. I'm sorry you're in a wave at present. You've always had such a wonderful attitude about it all, and you've always inspired me. I can't see your sig right now as I'm on my phone, but where are you now in your taper? Have the symptoms been manageable? What would you say your overall quality of life whilst tapering has been? I know you don't often speak of these things, and if you don't feel comfortable doing so now, I completely understand. It's just I'm in a very bad way at the moment and I could use a little encouragement, if you've got a bit to spare.

 

Yes, I stabilized at the end of 2019, then started tapering. Made 3 cuts (too large/too soon/ too erratically probably). I also got cocky and was having a glass of wine or two once a week. Then Covid hit, and I was stuck at home, unable to work, and watching the world as I knew it burn. Use of a steroid nasal spray was the last nail in my coffin. I crashed again in July 2020 and have been fighting this wave ever since. It's been a rough one, and so disheartening. I was actually starting to come around in December and January, but then came down with a sinus infection on New Year's. Now I'm almost back at the beginning again. Morning anxiety, fearfulness, insomnia, visual distortions, palpitations, tremors, panic attacks - it's all back. I am feeling hopeless that I will ever stabilize again. And if I do, will I even want to taper ever again? The idea of suffering like this all throughout a several-years-long taper and beyond is not something I feel I have the fight left in me to do at this point. I. Am. So. Very. Tired.

 

When I was stable and before I started to cut, I was pretty much 100% myself. It was such a relief, but then I ran it back off into the ditch. I'm 60 years old - I want to play with my grandkids and enjoy my friends and family, not fight this invisible and unfamiliar enemy anymore! On the other hand, I've dreamed of snatching back my life from the jaws of Big Pharma for almost 5 years now. Do I have to give that up? 

 

I know you have your own issues right now. I'm sorry to pester you like this. But I haven't felt this hopeless and stuck in a long time - maybe ever. If you could spare a kind word or two, I'd be so grateful. Thanks!

[Longroadhome]

I can spare more than a kind word @Dejavu. 
please don’t beat yourself up for things you think have helped to put you in a wave because it could just be it would have happened anyway . It’s true such is the nature of WD that bad waves can come out of the blue snd last a long time and we can spend so much time wondering if it was because we did this or did that when in truth  it was our body needing to make new adjustments .

And let’s look at the large cuts snd nasal spray .  Even if they did contribute they aren’t “big things”  you will settle . It just means your WD is not done . You are still in WD and these waves can happen. 
Example; I decided to taper my two meds at the same time last summer and ended up in what felt like acute WD. This lasted until December when the symptoms started to decrease in severity . They have not gone but are more manageable . And I’m not being bombarded with new symptoms constantly. Like you I kept regretting foolishly tapering two meds when I knew this was not a good idea. 
but I decided to hold on the doses I had reduced to and not make any changes until I started to stabilise . Once I stopped  pouring guilt on myself and accepted my fate it took the anxiety away and allowed my body to start making the changes towards stability. And this is what you need to do. Don’t guilt trip yourself into further anxiety what’s done is done and as stated you  could have been walking  into a wave anyway. 
you will get to play with your grandchildren and socialise with zest snd vigour once you start to stabilise and continue your journey home. Don’t worry this will happen for you. 
short term you have to decide a course of action and stick to it. 
for me this action is to taper slowly off even with symptoms present because mentally this puts my head in the right place. And  is just as important as waiting to stabilise completely . I’ve reached my WD normal I know my limits I’ve learned from mistakes which give me the upper hand and I’m not afraid of the symptoms. Well not all of the time !!!  just a little sometimes.. 

 

as you have said there has been a time when you have felt 100% and this will happen again . It is a very good sign ! Don’t let your WD brain tell you any different. 
 

you will take back ownership of your life you can do that now by accepting and working alongside the symptoms you have . Normalise the way you feel and have deep faith in your recovery. 
 

Remember each and everyone of us have our own unique path to recovery . And even though we all heal in a different manner and timescale the symptoms we experience are because of down regulation of receptors . This is the same for everyone . And all of the success stories are from people that have healed because receptors have up regulated and  in this way we are all the same.  
 

hope this has helped x

[Dejavu]

@Longroadhome, I am so grateful for your kindness! At this point, between withdrawal, COVID, grief over losing so many people close to me in so short a span of time, and the crazy domestic terrorist lunatics who tried to overthrow our government last month, if by some miracle I ever stabilize again, I'm not sure I have any strength left in me to complete my taper. I know I run the risk down the road of reaching tolerance, but I'm just utterly exhausted from the fight right now. I don't have enough words to explain just how tired I am!  And I'm wondering: until I get my grief issues a bit more sorted out (I'm currently in therapy and she is helping me quite a bit), and Covid is more controlled, would it be so wrong to take a break from tapering? It breaks my heart to even write those words, but I want - and need! - so badly to not feel sick. To feel normal for a while. To not have my 4 year old grandson ask why I'm in bed all the time. My hub says I don't have to make a decision on when to resume my taper yet; that stabilization is Job 1 right now (and I'm very, very afraid that I never will restabilize!). But I hate not having a plan of action in place. That is what people with anxiety disorders do to feel better. We plan for every contingency. And only then can we relax. I'm having to learn a whole new ball game here. I'll say one thing for sure: this is definitely not the way I'd intended to spend my twighlight years. To quote John Lennon: "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." I just feel like my strength and resiliency is being tested like never before, and I'm failing. And worst of all, my two best friends, my mom and sister, are both gone. I no longer know where my true north is. I'm too old to be this scared or this weak. But the support system I've depended on all my life - and would have been propping me up and supporting me through this ADWD hell - is gone just when I needed it the most. That makes it doubly hard.

 

Honestly, I don't know how you keep tapering while you're symptomatic. You mention "normalizing" it and I get that, but how do I normalize waking up in a panic? Or my eyes not focusing? Or the intense fear that courses through my body every few minutes with no cause? If I have to live the next several years of my life in this much misery, well...I'm not sure I can. I'm really afraid I just won't make it. 

 

Maybe I'm imagining things worse than they will be. I do have a tendency toward that. Would you say you have a decent quality of life, or is it just pure misery every day? Do your symptoms keep you from functioning normally? Is there ever a time when you're without symptoms? Are you ever able to forget about withdrawal, or is it always on your mind like it is mine? 

 

I'm sending healing energy for you tonight, dear Long. You're amazing and I wish I were half as strong as you!💜

Edited February 8, 2021 by Dejavu

[Longroadhome]

@Dejavu let me just say you are taking action if you decide to discontinue your taper and hold. That is taking action. Please don’t see this as giving in because it’s not.

I completely understand the battle fatigue. 

im so sorry for your loss . Did your mum and sister pass away recently ? 
it sounds like it may be a good idea for you to stop the tapering and wait to stabilise from what you are saying. 
this will be a good thing to do and remember it doesn’t have to be forever . Once you stabilise and gather strength you can resume. 
 

For me normalising means carrying on with my day . Things such as going into work (I am retired but own my own business so I still pop in during the week), making plans with my daughter, looking after my granddaughter, seeing friends ( walking our dogs at the moment and keeping our distance )etc etc . 
while engaged in these activities  I have a continuous floaty boat feeling ( been with me 24/7 since August last year). I have the anxiety and moments of intense fear that come out of nowhere, loud tinnitus, depression and on snd on. I allow them their space. I continue my day in their presence. Many times I am overwhelmed but I am learning to let this feeling go. 
And  yes WD is a constant  thought in my head . Though I am never able to forget it I look for the moments in the day that bring me peace . My granddaughters smile, a moment or two of feeling content, time spent with my family, walking Georgie my dog. 
 

im never without symptoms they are always there . Sometimes more intense than others . I do experience windows . I know this because I record my symptoms daily. For a long time I didn’t think I was having windows and if it wasn’t for recording how I feel I would still believe this to be so . 

 

im not strong I just carry this spark inside me that gets me up each morning and points me in the direction of hope peace and recovery. 
 

I wish this for you to x
 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Longroadhome,

Dropping by to see how you're doing...and catching up with your thread. Your posts are so positive and wonderful. I think you have it absolutely right. It's the small moments of contentment that actually bring us happiness, ultimately. Am gonna pm you xxx

[Longroadhome]

Thanks @sunnysideup69!!

Good to hear from you . 
im plodding along think I’m going to do an update because it’s important to record things for others to see during their journey to help and for future reference for myself too. 
 

I see you’re  in another window and I’m so pleased for you. Keep doing what your doing it’s obviously working 😊
 

will go over to  pm now

 

xx

[Erell]

Hello Longroadhome

 

Wow I didn't realise you were now at 3.6mg ! I hope you're proud of yourself, I know how bumpy this ride can be.

 

And I love your strenght and your determination to go on with your day despite symptoms.

 

It sounds like you never forget your goal and hope for peace and recovery, and that's very inspirational. Thank you 🤗

 

How are you doing these days?

 

Hugs!

[Longroadhome]

Hi @Erell

I figured I’d answer your question with an overdue update. Thank you for asking x
it’s long just to warn you ..!! 😊

since tapering two medications the middle of last year and being hit with severe WD symptoms things have slowly snd I mean VERY slowly improved. 
it’s funny how memory takes away just how bad I felt last August. New and old symptoms were severe and it was really scary as new symptoms would start off sporadically go away come back and increase in duration and severity. 
it would have been so easy to increase my meds again to take away the pain but I just couldn’t do it as I’d  made a promise to myself if I decrease I don’t go back up. So I stayed at the dose I’d tapered to. 
things were bumpy and extremely unpredictable for the next few months. I started a symptom chart and diary ( have used a diary on and off during this process). These have really helped as it was then I realised I did have tiny windows in between the waves. 
 

Some symptoms have left while others are constant companions and I guess they will be to the end of my taper .. and until complete recovery. 
 

I don’t believe in saying that symptoms that have gone away will be gone for good because it doesn’t work that way. They have a tendency to return weeks or months later. Maybe not as severe though. 
 

anyway this journey for me has never been symptom free and I don’t think it will be while tapering but I’m still hopeful 😊who knows the wicked ways of WD!! 😉

That said here’s what I deal with at the moment and in no particular order ;

 

Mood swings

Anxiety ( I cope with this better now and I’d just like to add anxiety and depression were the reasons for going on Paxil all those years ago ) 

Edgy

Agitated  

Visual white blobs  in the corners of my eyes that move around . They only last seconds and I’m no longer afraid of them 

Dry irritated eyes ( much better than two years ago ) think allergy related 

Gastro problems 

Floaty boat dizziness ( constant but I’m getting used to it except on the days it’s very severe)

Burning tingling numbness skin issues 

Tinnitus ( another constant companion but it doesn’t bother me now I’ve got used to it )very loud on occasions 

Muscle cramps not every day though

Restless  legs occasionally 

Depression 

Obsessive thinking and ruminating 

Hives much better that 19 months ago 

Hair loss bad condition and breakage

Joint pain 

Ear congestion 

Morning Cortisol on occasions 

Akathesia on occasions 

inner Akathesia on occasions 

Others  too but can’t think of them 

 

And that’s about it ! But don’t think I’m fooled I know new symptoms will/may appear as I continue my journey off Paxil and im

prepared for that. It will not stop me from my goal of being med free in the near future. This is a promise to myself that I’m keeping 😉
 

Yes lots of symptoms but I am managing  

 

I fill each day not only with things to occupy my time so I don’t have to think unnecessarily about WD but with hope and curiosity for a brighter future when recovery finally comes and I can go on to live the rest of my life  x

[Erell]

5 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

 a brighter future when recovery finally comes and I can go on to live the rest of my life  x

 

And you will !

 

Yes you really sound determinate 💪

 

6 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

it’s funny how memory takes away just how bad I felt last August. New and old symptoms were severe and it was really scary as new symptoms would start off sporadically go away come back and increase in duration and severity. 

This is so true ! While never feeling good, we feel like we are in a constant wave and tend to forget to notice that things aren't as bad as they once were.
This is definitely true for me too, I feel bad and tired of these constant symptoms, but if I remember last August, things definitely have improved.

And that's why I think keeping a diary might be very important : it forces us to see that yes it does get better, and yes we have easier times even if it doesn't feel like a real cut window

 

Keep going dear longroadhome, because it really sounds like you're on the right path

 

❤️

 

[Longroadhome]

Thank you @Erell

 

you too! 
 

I am continuing to taper at 10% reduction of my current dose  every 5 weeks. I do a 10% cut straight away and give myself the 5 weeks to stabilise before making another cut. 
I don’t think too far ahead regarding tapering just in case I get hit with severe symptoms again in which case I will hold at the dose I am at until I can re start the taper.  

[sunnysideup69]

Hey @Longroadhome, just dropping by to say hello. You're doing so well on your taper! Did you go back to the gym again, by any chance?

I've stopped doing the super long walks as I think it was ramping up WD symptoms, but am still doing around 5k three times a week. Plus some strength exercises at home.

Been a bit of a wavey week, this last week, but just plodding on.

How are you doing?

 

[Longroadhome]

Hi @sunnysideup69

good to hear from you 

I enjoyed reading your update earlier this week don’t worry about the dip as we know it will pass. You are doing fantastic. 
Great you’ve continued the walking and increased the distance . 
 

I have continued my walking every day and yes I’m finally ready to return to the gym when it opens . 
 

ive just done an update on my thread . Basically still lots of symptoms but I’m managing and today is a good day so far. I am feeling better than I did in August last year 😊
 

After spending the last two years debating holding or tapering and the anxiety that comes with this I now know tapering off the meds despite symptoms is right for me. I feel stronger mentally and focused on my goal because of this decision. The uncertainty was mainly due to being in tolerance at the start. 
 

the sun is shining today and I’m just off out for a walk . 
 

take care of yourself your windows are getting longer read back on your thread and you will see what I see x
 

 

[sunnysideup69]

Enjoy that walk! It's great out there today ☺️☺️

[Erell]

3.2mg ☀️ 

 

How are you doing ? 🙂

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, Erell said:

3.2mg ☀️ 

 

How are you doing ? 🙂

Hi @Erell

thank you for asking but 

more importantly how are you ? 
 

im doing ok . Though I’m not free of symptoms my 2 worst are:,

floaty boat feeling:  like I’m on a boat and it’s bobbing around at sea 🌊  

sometimes severe other times manageable 24/7

Hair loss : very bad condition breaking falling out dry and fly away 

I’m wearing a hair piece . Have no choice. This upsets me as I take pride in my appearance and used to love going to the hairdressers . 
but I’m hopeful at the end of WD it will return . 
I’m luck as I’m able to live some sort of a life while going through this and YES getting down to lower doses is awesome!!!!!! 
so I can’t complain 🥳🥳🥳

 

you’re in my thoughts 💭 take care of yourself and know that recovery is waiting for us . Patience and time x 

 

[Erell]

11 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

I’m luck as I’m able to live some sort of a life while going through this and YES getting down to lower doses is awesome!!!!!! 

Oh how glad I am to read this !

I have no doubt it might not be easy to live "normally" with symptoms, but can you imagine how strong you'll feel when these symptoms will fade away ? 

You're definitely storing strong coping skills ☀️

 

And I'm sorry to hear about the hair loss. Can't predict the future, but people often mention in Success stories that their skin and hair improved while recovering. 

Hopefully your body will regain his strenght gradually 💪

 

Take care sweet longroadhome 

[mstimc]

Hi Longroad

 

Answering your questions from another thread:

 

what I have been meaning to ask you is I seem to remember you were on antidepressants because of depression snd anxiety. Were you worried that these two symptoms would remain with you after WD and if they did were they just as intense and how did you manage ? 
now I  am getting to a low dose I must admit I am wondering if I will still have depression and anxiety ( the reason I went on antidepressants to start with) once WD is over. 

 

You asked a great question and one I think is very important. It took me about three years from starting tapering (including two false starts) to when I considered myself recovered.  About a year in, I realized I needed to address and manage the emotions and behaviors that put me on the meds to begin with.  That's when I started a serious search for a therapist who knew how to handle WD.  I found a great one who used EMDR and CBT to get at the causes of my anxiety and then learn to manage the feelings.  That helped me with tapering and gave me confidence that I could handle the feelings and emotions that would come up after I stopped.

 

Do I still get them sometimes?  Heck yeah, but I know I'll come out okay--they're just thoughts and feeling and have no more power than my mind gives them.  I think, for some people, anxiety, OCD and depression are chronic conditions like diabetes; they may never go away completely but you can manage them and lead a happy life.  It took me a long time to get there but I did get there.  You will too.

[sunnysideup69]

Hello LRH,

How are you?

Sunny xxx

[Longroadhome]

On 4/3/2021 at 7:17 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

Hello LRH,

How are you?

Sunny xxx

Hi @sunnysideup69

good to hear from you!  And really happy that you have finally stabilised and enjoying life again . Do you have the cat with you now ? I know you were going to get one. 
also good you have the trainers 👟 back on and starting daily exercise. 
you’ve come a long way and should be proud of yourself. 
Im waiting for the gym to open this month snd will return. 
 

all ok with me. continuing my journey off meds. Drop to 2.8mg Paxil this month so that’s exciting !! And managing with the symptoms.
 

onward and upward for all !!!  

[Longroadhome]

A little update...

I'm decreasing Paxil every 5 to 6 weeks usually by 10%. 
symptoms persist but I am managing a day to day life with them present. I have noticed an uptick in symptoms two weeks after each drop and this seems to be forming a pattern . All symptoms become more intense and this drop has seen the depression increase in particular. However the last two days have been more manageable. It’s hard not to get too worried when a symptom gets very intense but I am learning to ride through these times. Usually they will start to abate between the 3 and 4 week mark. 
I have had some personal things going on so I can definitely identify why the depression has increased. 
I have also sold my house and have bought another and am waiting to move. 
 

So a few stressful things that aggravate symptoms but I’m managing. 
 

I stopped all alcohol months ago. I drink decaf tea and coffee but not too much. I eat a healthy diet with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. I take vitamin D and Zinc tablets for my hair loss. It has stopped coming out now it just needs to re grow . 
I stopped the diet Coca-Cola too and drink fresh orange or apple juice topped up with sparkling spring water. It’s very refreshing. 
 

I monitor my symptoms traffic light method which is very helpful and I can see I’m getting more amber snd green days overall each month. Long may  this continue. If I didn’t do this I would not be able to detect my “window” days.  
 

I return to the gym this month but I’m going to take it easy. 

[sunnysideup69]

That sounds like progress to me @Longroadhome, excellent.

I'm also in the process of kicking the caffeine. Down to one mug in the morning as of 12 April, then off.

I'm gonna miss my morning tea, but I also like herbal.

I think you're gonna be glad to get back to the gym? Went for a long country walk at my parents' yesterday, it was blissful. Fresh country air. Open fields.

Will send you a pm soon, hope the moving process and all the emotional upheaval that entails is going okay.

 

[Longroadhome]

Thank you @sunnysideup69 😊