Longroadhome: think I may be tapering Seroxat / Paxil too fast

[Longroadhome]

5 hours ago, Arti said:

hi @Longroadhome

I just want to say Hello and congratulate you !!!

You are free of paroxetin now. Its a weird but liberating feeling.

The doubts will fade with time.

You no longer have to count backward, now you can count forward. 

 

Arti 

Arti I sooooo needed this message today. Thank you. It’s my second day free and after 18 years I do have doubts. I think it’s natural and you confirming this brought a sigh of relief. 
It does feel weird the last two morning’s when 8:30am has come  and I’m not reaching for  the Paxil … after all these years. 

I look forward to counting forward. 

 

[wantrelief]

Congratulations, LRH - well done getting off of Paxil!  It has taken a lot of grit and determination and you've done it!

 

I am wishing you the very best going forward.

[Longroadhome]

8 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Congratulations, LRH - well done getting off of Paxil!  It has taken a lot of grit and determination and you've done it!

 

I am wishing you the very best going forward.

Thank you so much 😊 

I’ve had symptoms all the way down and always felt the only way to recovery was getting off the drug. 
 

You are doing well too. One day soon I will be congratulating you ! Keep going 

[Sottana]

Congrats LRH. I’m really excited to see how you progress over the coming months. What relief you must feel

[Longroadhome]

2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Congrats LRH. I’m really excited to see how you progress over the coming months. What relief you must feel

Thank you Adili ! At the minute it feels a bit like walking a tightrope as opposed to relief I’m afraid!! Lol 

 

I still have a small amount of Pregabalin to taper. I’ve altered my signature to accommodate the up and coming event.  
I will be shouting from the hilltops the day I can record “last dose, completely drug free!!”, something I thought at times would be impossible to achieve. 
 

“A difficult time can be more readily endured  if we retain the conviction, there is a goal to achieve”.
 

Keep going, it’s the only way. 

[Longroadhome]

Update; 

Although I’m apprehensive about finishing my Paxil taper, a tiny seed of hope tells me “now your body can really start to heal”. I’ve been so sensitive to even the smallest of dose changes, that if nothing else my brain can at last have everyday continuity. Paxil is finally out of the equation. 
Yes I still have Pregabalin to taper but I know that Paxil has been the cause of the main bulk of damage to my system. From years of tolerance,  then to the dose changes that have provoked symptom intensity all the way down. 
 

Another plus is that I no longer have to worry about missing a dose, late dose, double dosing, making sure umpteen times it’s in my handbag if I’m going away for a few days as well as making sure I have taken the syringe for measuring my dose ( I would take 3 or 4 just in case I lost one as they are special ones for tiny measures), and waiting around at airport security for my medication to be checked and that it is in its original correctly labelled package, as well as the worry of dropping the bottle. All now in the past. 
 

It was odd putting the contents of the bottle down the sink after my last dose on Wednesday. A thought crossed my mind “ I shouldn’t be doing this”. But I also took pleasure in watching it wash away..

 

Time for a new chapter, one of hope and recovery.   

[Arti]

13 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

Another plus is that I no longer have to worry about missing a dose, late dose, double dosing, making sure umpteen times it’s in my handbag if I’m going away for a few days as well as making sure I have taken the syringe for measuring my dose ( I would take 3 or 4 just in case I lost one as they are special ones for tiny measures), and waiting around at airport security for my medication to be checked and that it is in its original correctly labelled package, as well as the worry of dropping the bottle. All now in the past. 

Oh yes i hated it allways lugging this stuff around with me. If i forgot Panic. When my GP went on vacation and i had no more Pills. Go to the Substitution and explain.

Feeling like a Dealer at the Airport. What a Big BS for years 

 

13 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

It was odd putting the contents of the bottle down the sink after my last dose on Wednesday. A thought crossed my mind “ I shouldn’t be doing this”. But I also took pleasure in watching it wash away..

 

Yes a strange feeling. But a huge burden Fall off. I remember that time i was driving in the city to an Public trash can to throw away the Rest. 

 

13 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

Time for a new chapter, one of hope and recovery

Yes the time has come.  

 

Wish you a good week !!!

 

Arti 

[Longroadhome]

@Arti 

Thank you for making me laugh !!

 
“Feeling like a dealer at the airport “

 

This is me with the Pregabalin as I have to break open a  capsule, drop the white powder into a glass, dilute and use syringe to take my dose. 
 

Wishing you a good week too! 

[Hanna72]

Dear @Longroadhome

I can’t express how damn proud I am of you. 💕

What a milestone and accomplishment you have reached. How much I envy you.

 

You are a true warrior, the resilient and strength you have shown is something you should be so proud of. 
Congratulations my dear friend of being free of Paxil😍

 

 

[Longroadhome]

Thank you @Hanna72 

Though trust me, there’s nothing to envy at the moment !! 
No new symptoms as such, but all others intensified. 
One month off on Thursday. 
 

Good luck with your taper!! 

[Finnishgirl]

8 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

Thank you @Hanna72 

Though trust me, there’s nothing to envy at the moment !! 
No new symptoms as such, but all others intensified. 
One month off on Thursday. 
 

Good luck with your taper!! 

I send you healing vibes, what a journey you have been through and already got rid of the Lexapro!

I will follow your steps , I hope   

[Hanna72]

Dear @Longroadhome

I hear you, and I am sorry you are suffering with intense symptoms. 
On the other hand I do believe you will heal in time. You have done so good. Let your body catch up with being drug free, it is not used to be without the drug. 
I believe in you💕

Take it easy my dear and know I will always root for you 💪

[getofflex]

@LongroadhomeI'm sorry to hear that your symptoms have intensified.  Congratulations for getting completely off Paxil!  That is a huge accomplishment.  I know that Paxil is a tough one.  But, I'm confident that you will get better someday.  

 

There is always the possibility of reinstating to a tiny dose, such as 0.1 mg, to help with the symptoms.  

[Longroadhome]

@getofflex and @Hanna72

Thank you for your kind messages of support, it means so much. 
I’m going to let things settle down. Time is the healer.
Take care both and congratulations Getofflex for being psych drug free 🎈 🎈 

[getofflex]

9 hours ago, Longroadhome said:

I’m going to let things settle down. Time is the healer.

Yes you are correct, time is the healer.  Good for you for your strength and perseverance.  

[Arti]

Hi @Longroadhome

The weather in south germany is slowly getting ugly 

Christmas is just around the corner. And i hope that i can enjoy it at least a little bit 

With my Famile!

How are things any changes in sympthoms ?

[Longroadhome]

42 minutes ago, Arti said:

Hi @Longroadhome

The weather in south germany is slowly getting ugly 

Christmas is just around the corner. And i hope that i can enjoy it at least a little bit 

With my Famile!

How are things any changes in sympthoms ?

Morning Arti!

 

Lovely to hear from you! 
Please don’t mention Christmas 🎄 I am so behind with family presents, home decs , and sorting Christmas activities at my nursery.  Need to get organised, and quick!

 

The weather is changing here too, many more days of rain, overcast and cold spells . I quite like it as I find summer a little overbearing while being in WD. 
 

it’s nice hearing you say you will be spending time with family. I will look forward to you letting me know how it goes. 
 

I’m into my 7th week Paxil free, and I’m feeling it. As well as my usual list of symptoms I have new ones. Two weeks ago I thought I had cystitis and went to the doctors dreading  antibiotics as I am very sensitive to them since WD. The last lot I had I developed hives which lasted 2 long years. Anyway test came back negative and since then I now know it isn’t cystitis as it cycles between bladder pain and needing to go constantly, bowel pain and pressure and pain in lower and upper part of tummy and PGAD ( detest talking about  this one as it’s so embarrassing but needs to be mentioned and not hidden). These symptoms cycle, some days worse than others. Of course I will get everything tested to rule anything out if it continues but feel it’s happening now Paxil has left my body. ADs affect the gut, so no coincidence. At times it’s beyond uncomfortable. 
 I try to distract and keep myself occupied. 
 

Next month I will be off Pregabalin and start 2023 completely drug free. 
 

How are things with you? And signs of more progress? 
 

Please excuse  my writing as I’m rushing this morning. 

[Arti]

On 11/21/2022 at 7:24 AM, Longroadhome said:

Lovely to hear from you! 
Please don’t mention Christmas 🎄 I am so behind with family presents, home decs , and sorting Christmas activities at my nursery.  Need to get organised, and quick!

 

Dont Stress yourself to much with Christmass. Making  your mind free of drugs is enough present for you and your Family. You cannot Buy it anywhere. 

 

On 11/21/2022 at 7:24 AM, Longroadhome said:

The weather is changing here too, many more days of rain, overcast and cold spells . I quite like it as I find summer a little overbearing while being in WD. 
 

Yes i like it also, the summer was to hot. But i still have to do things outside i will see if i can Manage it until the first snow. Its all so difficult if you are not well enough 

 

On 11/21/2022 at 7:24 AM, Longroadhome said:

Anyway test came back negative and since then I now know it isn’t cystitis as it cycles between bladder pain and needing to go constantly, bowel pain and pressure and pain in lower and upper part of tummy and PGAD ( detest talking about  this one as it’s so embarrassing but needs to be mentioned and not hidden).

Oh Yeah thats awfull. You know that i also suffer from it. Sometimes i have also the Impression that the people here dont write about it. Or i am one of the few who suffers from it. 

For me it is a form of akhatisi in the genitals in the gut an in the bladder.  Somehow everything is connected. At night i allways have the feeling that i have to go to the toilet. And wehen i pee i somehow can't empty my bladder completely. So on my way back to Bed again i have the feel that in have to pee again. In addition i allways have a slight errection during the night. This is all so demaning. i often only have hate and got angry because of that. And i think what wrong with you 

But i know it is from the drugs. 

All this is sometimes milder and sometimes worse. Sometimes i have constipation or gas. 

If i eat to much bread and then it is definitely worse. 

So enough with this stupid topic. It is a huge BS 

The worst Part is that it is impossible sometimes to calm during the night because of this. 

On top to the insomnia.

On 11/21/2022 at 7:24 AM, Longroadhome said:

Next month I will be off Pregabalin and start 2023 completely drug free. 
 

You want to finish the drug Chapter i can understand this so much. 

 

On 11/21/2022 at 7:24 AM, Longroadhome said:

How are things with you? And signs of more progress? 

Puh i could write a Lot about sympthoms at the moment in addition to my permanent things insomnia, pgad etc. my right arm Hurts i think it is Muscle pain since 3 weeks. I think it is related to WD because before the arm it was in my whole Hand for weeks Now its gone. 

In generell without looking on sympthoms i think i can say the better days are better than before 

The Bad days are as bad as ever. What i have to say is that i push myself over the Limits and work too much at most days. Sometimes i think the cns need this, sometimes i recognize that it hurts. 

I still have problems with noise and light so listen to music or watching a movie is not possible. Its sad because i Love music. I hope this whole madness stops someday! 

 

Arti 

 

 

[DutchMaddy]

Hello @Arti and @Longroadhome I  had PGAD too and terrible bladder problems for two month. Month 11 and 12. I am now in  month 28 drugfree. Not healed. But those symptoms are long gone!! Take care

[Longroadhome]

1 hour ago, DutchMaddy said:

Hello @Arti and @Longroadhome I  had PGAD too and terrible bladder problems for two month. Month 11 and 12. I am now in  month 28 drugfree. Not healed. But those symptoms are long gone!! Take care

Thank you for posting this ! It’s a problem no one should have to deal with. I think it must happen to more people than we think but too embarrassing to mention. I have had it here and there through WD but more uncomfortable at the moment than previous bouts. 
take care. 

[Longroadhome]

23 hours ago, Arti said:

Oh Yeah thats awfull. You know that i also suffer from it. Sometimes i have also the Impression that the people here dont write about it. Or i am one of the few who suffers from it

I think you are right Arti, people just don’t talk about it, but there are more out there. Check out Boris on here, he describes “sensations” along with painful urination. Also an ex Paxil user. No coincidence.. 

Years ago while on Paxil I had PGAD, didn’t associate it with the drug, why would I, it came on out of the blue.  Ended up going the doctors for the most embarrassing conversation of my life, because I was at my wits end. The doctor looked at me like I’d “gone out” . Can’t remember the outcome of this visit, too traumatised,  only that I came out the surgery with no answers and distraught. Weirdly it disappeared after a few months as fast as it came on, and never came back until WD started. It wasn’t until reading about it on this site, and putting a name to it that the connection was made. 
We shouldn’t hide a  symptom like this. It’s inhumane both physically and mentally to endure, without having to hide the fact and keep it a “secret”.

 

23 hours ago, Arti said:

Puh i could write a Lot about sympthoms at the moment in addition to my permanent things insomnia, pgad etc. my right arm Hurts i think it is Muscle pain since 3 weeks. I think it is related to WD because before the arm it was in my whole Hand for weeks Now its gone.

I can identify with this as I have been plagued with “injury” type pains throughout my WD that last for weeks and then just like that, disappear, only to be replaced with another. And the cycle goes on.

While on Paxil over the years I also had many injuries occur from basic training at the gym. I have read of others the same on this site. I now put this down to a side affect of the drug. 

 

The suffering is unbelievable. The compensation after recovery… well, now thats gonna be something else ..

 

Keep going Arti, I’m right there with you.   

[Arti]

@Longroadhome

Was Not sure if i should answer again. I only want to say  you are right with everything.

I attribute a lot what was happened over the years to paroxetine. Small things, bigger things, physically and mentally. Its hard not to get angry, these are not lost years. but they could have been so different, more beatiful. But there is no bebefit to wine about the past, as difficult as it is we have to look forwards. And the doctors. No words about the doctors. They are snooty and arrogant. 

You can only hope that if it really matters, you catch someone who is competent and uninitated.

 

Ok Longroadhome lets try not to fall in Christmas stress!

 

Arti 

 

 

[Longroadhome]

2 hours ago, Arti said:

@Longroadhome

Was Not sure if i should answer again. I only want to say  you are right with everything.

I attribute a lot what was happened over the years to paroxetine. Small things, bigger things, physically and mentally. Its hard not to get angry, these are not lost years. but they could have been so different, more beatiful. But there is no bebefit to wine about the past, as difficult as it is we have to look forwards. And the doctors. No words about the doctors. They are snooty and arrogant. 

You can only hope that if it really matters, you catch someone who is competent and uninitated.

 

Ok Longroadhome lets try not to fall in Christmas stress!

 

Arti 

 

 

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Keep going Arti. Just keep going. That’s all we have to do. 

[Hanna72]

My dear friend @Longroadhome

Just wanted to drop by your thread and tell you how extremely proud I am off you.

You have always been such a great support towards me and I appreciate all your help in the past.

What a strong and incredible woman you are, wish I could hug you, but instead I send you all my love and support. You are a warrior 💕

Keep up the good fight, and remember it’s a reason why you are doing this🙏

[Longroadhome]

On 12/14/2022 at 8:23 PM, Hanna72 said:

My dear friend @Longroadhome

Just wanted to drop by your thread and tell you how extremely proud I am off you.

You have always been such a great support towards me and I appreciate all your help in the past.

What a strong and incredible woman you are, wish I could hug you, but instead I send you all my love and support. You are a warrior 💕

Keep up the good fight, and remember it’s a reason why you are doing this🙏

@Hanna72 thank you my lovely friend. 

[Ambs9]

@Longroadhome I’m fairly new here but wanted to post a Congratulations to you! I also wanted to THANK YOU (and so many others) for sharing your story.   I’m only 4 months in on my journey off of Paxil but being able to seeing you finally hit zero helps to keep me motivated.   

[Longroadhome]

Update:

As from tomorrow, Sunday 25th December 2022, I will be completely drug free for the first time in 18 years. 
Im updating today as I won’t get chance tomorrow. 
im proud I got there in the end. Although I’m a long way from recovered I feel, only now, being completely off all drugs am I giving myself the best opportunity to completely heal. 
it’s been a long journey to get here. A milestone. something I wouldn’t care to repeat. But I’m here, and the taper from both drugs is over. 
 

Here’s to a New Year. May 2023 bring peace to all going through this incredibly hard process xx

My thoughts are with you. 
 

 

[mstimc]

Congratulations, @Longroadhome!  Coming off the meds is a huge step toward full recovery.  Hope you have a great 2023!

[Erell]

Sending much love and my sweetest thoughts in this new phase  of life 🍃

[wantrelief]

It really is a milestone, @Longroadhome, and quite a symbolic way to start the New Year.  I am wishing you all the best in 2023 sans psych drugs! 

[Heath]

@Longroadhome Congratulations!!

[Arti]

god morning @Longroadhome a short break from my break. 

Today is your first day completely free. You no longer have to carry the burden around with you  

Congratluations a new era begins. 

I think Your going to be pretty busy today. But take a moment to reflect in what you have accomplished, its over.

Happy Christmas !

See you next year 

 

Arti 

 

[Hanna72]

Bravo 👏👏👏@Longroadhome

So happy for you💕

[brassmonkey]

Such a wonderful Christmas present to yourself. Congratulations on making the jump.

[Longroadhome]

On 12/22/2022 at 2:04 PM, Ambs9 said:

@Longroadhome I’m fairly new here but wanted to post a Congratulations to you! I also wanted to THANK YOU (and so many others) for sharing your story.   I’m only 4 months in on my journey off of Paxil but being able to seeing you finally hit zero helps to keep me motivated.   

Thank you for your post, and congratulations, I really appreciate. I think getting off these drugs has to be something you are committed to 100%, 100% of the time, no matter what.  It’s by no means the end of my story, but now, I rather feel I’m half way through, and that feels good. 
 

Good luck for the rest of your taper. 

[Longroadhome]

@mstimc, @Erell, @brassmonkey, @Arti, @wantrelief, @Heath, @Hanna72

 

Thank you for all your good wishes, it means so much. SA is a place where I can come and communicate how I feel to people that understand. 
It’s so scary having something so wrong with you, that you can neither communicate to others, or go to anyone for help with. 
It’s an isolating illness that only one in the know can understand. 
 

It is my ambition one day to help others going through the same. 
But first, I need to recover myself. 

Hope 2023 is a good year for you. Take care.