Knosretep Posted January 30, 2022 Share Posted January 30, 2022 @Onmyway Sorry to hear about apartment and the lost work, that really sucks. That's good that you'll be working with others instead of from home. That helps me a lot to be around people too. Hopefully you'll get along well with your collogues and the friends that you're staying with. Sounds like you're quite experienced and know what to expect from your tapering. Hopefully you stabilize quickly and continue your cuts! 2013 - Jan 4, 2021 - Sertraline 50mg Jan 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (1/4) Feb 2021 : Mar 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg April 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg, Amitriptyline 2mg (4/20), Clonazepam 2mg May 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (5/16 - 0mg), Amitriptyline (5/1 - 1mg, 5/16 - 0mg), Clonazepam 2mg Aug 2021 - Sertraline 25mg (re 8/20), Clonazepam 2mg Sep 2021 - Sertraline 50mg (up 9/3), Clonazepam (9/29 - 1mg), Diazepam (9/29 - 2.5mg) Oct 2021 - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (10/14 - 0.9mg, 10/24 - 1mg), Diazepam (10/6 - 1.25mg, 10/14 - 0mg), Trazodone (10/03 - 50mg, 10/17 - 25mg, 10/21 - 12.5mg), Mirtazapine (10/17 - 15mg) Nov 2021 : Current - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (4/22 - 0.975mg, 5/22 - 0.9125mg, co 6/22 - 0.25mg, co 8/22 - 0.5mg, co 1/23 - 0.25mg), Diazepam (co 6/22 - 12mg, 7/22 - 11mg, co 8/22 - 5mg, 9/22 - 4mg, 10/22 - 3mg, 11/22 - 2mg, 12/22 - 1mg, co 1/23 - 5mg, 2/23 - 4.5mg, 3/23 - 3.5mg, 4/23 - 3mg), Trazodone 12.5mg, Mirtazapine 15mg Supplements: 1/2 Multivitamin, Fish Oil 2000mg, Probiotic, Magnesium Chelate 280mg, Vit C 500mg, . Melatonin 5mg/3mgXR Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted February 25, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted February 25, 2022 (edited) Just a quick update here - the last week has been quite hard figuring out some administrative things as well and had to be on the phone with customer service people for hours every day! I am partly excited about going to be around friends/colleagues but it will be hard work the next 3 months and I am so hoping that I can do it. Symptom wise the last week has been brutal - constant, gripping daytime anxiety, insomnia, terror wakings and numb face. I am super sensitive to sounds again to the point that being in my own place seems to cause torture by the cars on the road, a helicopter, a plane. Never bothered me before. Now even the computer's fan is bothering me. I can feel the sound even over my earplugs - I guess it is vibration sensitivity? The anxiety is very strong and physical as well - it is just brutal with stabbing chest tightness and pains and I feel absolutely frozen - didn't even leave the couch today. This level of anxiety is new for me. My head feels numb and filled with cotton, appetite is gone. Strange thing is my last cut was 3.3% 15 days ago and before that I had cut 4 consecutive weeks 2.5-3% each and then a hold and had done ok until the last one. I hope I get out of this one quickly. I have a friend staying with me next week so hopefully that will help and seeing some other friends over the weekend but not sure how much of this torture I can handle. I have at least a year and a half to go at this rate and if it is going to be like this the whole time, God help me! I almost took some xanax today. Gave the pill a lick (so 1/100 of a 0.5mg) and no relief. Will try an Epsom salt bath. Third day in a row did not remember to eat at all until 9 pm Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
OldDodgy Posted February 25, 2022 Share Posted February 25, 2022 (edited) @Onmyway Gosh!! Considering all the changes in your life no wonder you felt a bit vulnerable!! Anxiety is a real grrrr. You have always been able to relax other folk so I know you have the skills. !!! Your shout, but you might want to hold for a tad longer. I would if it were me. Chin up and good wishes OldDodgy. Edited February 25, 2022 by OldDodgy mispell My Intro topic. Was Dickie in FB gabapentinoids 2020 January Stopped Quetiapine 150 at night in a fairly chaotic fashion with holds, jumping at 6mg 2020 June Stopped Pregabalin 150 at night using Ashton Method Some holds. 2021 December Stopped Mirtazipine 15 using Ashton Method. (Slower at end). Nov 21 - Given Quetiapine 12.5 for sleep. Reduced mid March 2022 to 6mg - Off 30/5/22 Feb 2022 Ongoing Diazepam 17.5, Blip at Christmas when took 22.5mg for a few days, now 24 FEB Stable 17.5 as advised. Had long covid. Now going to 16.25 from 8/7/22. 7% drop Oxazepam 10mg.STOPPED 10th FEB 2022 “Rescue dose x 2 in 2 months. Buccastem 3mg less than 1 a month for nausea. Past meds since 1969 -Approx dates only available. Tranxene 15, Clomipramine 150 for about 25 years. 1993 Paroxetine 20 AD change. Diazepam 20mg swap from Tranxene. Oxazepam 10mg Prn since 1990's 1995 Trial of MAOIS. 2000 Escitaopram 10mg. 2015 trial of Trazadone. 2004 Pregabalin 150 at night. 2015 Started on Quetiapine 150 note, Mirtazipine 15 note. Diazepam increased to 30mg split dosing. Link to comment
Knosretep Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Hi @Onmyway That stabbing chest tightening anxiety is the worst. Sounds like you're going too fast and need a hold like OD suggests. Hopefully your friend visiting and then the move will be good for you. Sending you healing vibes! 2013 - Jan 4, 2021 - Sertraline 50mg Jan 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (1/4) Feb 2021 : Mar 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg April 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg, Amitriptyline 2mg (4/20), Clonazepam 2mg May 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (5/16 - 0mg), Amitriptyline (5/1 - 1mg, 5/16 - 0mg), Clonazepam 2mg Aug 2021 - Sertraline 25mg (re 8/20), Clonazepam 2mg Sep 2021 - Sertraline 50mg (up 9/3), Clonazepam (9/29 - 1mg), Diazepam (9/29 - 2.5mg) Oct 2021 - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (10/14 - 0.9mg, 10/24 - 1mg), Diazepam (10/6 - 1.25mg, 10/14 - 0mg), Trazodone (10/03 - 50mg, 10/17 - 25mg, 10/21 - 12.5mg), Mirtazapine (10/17 - 15mg) Nov 2021 : Current - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (4/22 - 0.975mg, 5/22 - 0.9125mg, co 6/22 - 0.25mg, co 8/22 - 0.5mg, co 1/23 - 0.25mg), Diazepam (co 6/22 - 12mg, 7/22 - 11mg, co 8/22 - 5mg, 9/22 - 4mg, 10/22 - 3mg, 11/22 - 2mg, 12/22 - 1mg, co 1/23 - 5mg, 2/23 - 4.5mg, 3/23 - 3.5mg, 4/23 - 3mg), Trazodone 12.5mg, Mirtazapine 15mg Supplements: 1/2 Multivitamin, Fish Oil 2000mg, Probiotic, Magnesium Chelate 280mg, Vit C 500mg, . Melatonin 5mg/3mgXR Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted February 26, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 26, 2022 Oh @Onmyway--You're having to go through so many changes right now. Take good care of yourself. I send you hugs and warm wishes. Arbor💜 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted February 28, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted February 28, 2022 (edited) On 2/25/2022 at 9:59 PM, OldDodgy said: @Onmyway Gosh!! Considering all the changes in your life no wonder you felt a bit vulnerable!! Anxiety is a real grrrr. You have always been able to relax other folk so I know you have the skills. !!! Your shout, but you might want to hold for a tad longer. I would if it were me. Chin up and good wishes OldDodgy. @OldDodgy it's been always amazing for me how much I can feel compassion for others but it is much harder to do it for myself. And when the anxiety grips, it really doesn't let go. The last few days it has been more low mood and the 'yuck' feeling where everything seems a bit pointless/grim/gloomy. It's not even proper sadness. But luckily the evenings are better so I can get at least a couple of hours relief. I am holding for the next week at least and then will re-evaluate. Thanks for the support OD On 2/26/2022 at 6:09 AM, Knosretep said: That stabbing chest tightening anxiety is the worst. It absolutely is, I never had it until WD. I was prescribed ADs for anxiety but it was never this bad. I was staying with a friend who's known me for at least 15 years now and I was telling him about how much I feel like I obsess about things and I asked him if he remembered if I was like that before but he said I absolutely wasn't. I mean in my life, there were big decisions where I have obsessed about things (one of them when I got prescribed the ADs - I was stressed about choosing a major but now it is constant. On 2/26/2022 at 7:58 PM, arbor said: Oh @Onmyway--You're having to go through so many changes right now. Take good care of yourself. I send you hugs and warm wishes. Thanks @arbor, just you saying this has given me so much calm, I often fail to recognize the importance of external circumstances because I am so in my head. Thank you for always managing to calm me I am a bit upset with myself that I chose these changes. But I worry that if I am left to my own devices, working from home most of the time I just end up ruminating. Let's see how this will evolve. Big hugs back! ❤️ Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 7, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted March 7, 2022 A quick update again. The mental anguish from the last time I posted has subsided a bit - I have accepted some difficult situations. My friend visiting was good - he dragged me out to do things and the distraction was nice. However, I now feel behind on packing and start panicking a bit. In the meantime, I got a horrible cold. Not only that but I also ended up not taking care of myself and went out with my friend despite being sick mostly because I needed to get out of my own head and be distracted. Today have stayed in bed and rested and it has felt good. Still have tons of work to do but can do most tasks from the computer. Packing will have to wait! 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Knosretep Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 8 hours ago, Onmyway said: A quick update again. The mental anguish from the last time I posted has subsided a bit - I have accepted some difficult situations. My friend visiting was good - he dragged me out to do things and the distraction was nice. However, I now feel behind on packing and start panicking a bit. In the meantime, I got a horrible cold. Not only that but I also ended up not taking care of myself and went out with my friend despite being sick mostly because I needed to get out of my own head and be distracted. Today have stayed in bed and rested and it has felt good. Still have tons of work to do but can do most tasks from the computer. Packing will have to wait! Hi @Onmyway Good to hear the mental anguish has subsided, and that your friend visiting was an overall positive experience. ❤️ Has the chest tightness anxiety lightened up any? That's tough about getting sick during the visit. Hopefully resting in bed and getting back to taking care of yourself will get you over it quickly! I've found that packing can go really quickly using big rubbermaid or plastic containers and dumping everything in a room into them without too much concern for wrapping items. I've been doing this way for years and amazingly almost nothing ever breaks, despite less than gentle handling of the containers. It costs a bit more than cardboard boxes, but you only have to buy them once and you can keep using them over and over, and use them for storage too after the move. I ended up drilling holes in 1 of mine to use as a dog washing station, something I couldn't do with a cardboard box. Sending healing vibes your way! 2013 - Jan 4, 2021 - Sertraline 50mg Jan 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (1/4) Feb 2021 : Mar 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg April 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg, Amitriptyline 2mg (4/20), Clonazepam 2mg May 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (5/16 - 0mg), Amitriptyline (5/1 - 1mg, 5/16 - 0mg), Clonazepam 2mg Aug 2021 - Sertraline 25mg (re 8/20), Clonazepam 2mg Sep 2021 - Sertraline 50mg (up 9/3), Clonazepam (9/29 - 1mg), Diazepam (9/29 - 2.5mg) Oct 2021 - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (10/14 - 0.9mg, 10/24 - 1mg), Diazepam (10/6 - 1.25mg, 10/14 - 0mg), Trazodone (10/03 - 50mg, 10/17 - 25mg, 10/21 - 12.5mg), Mirtazapine (10/17 - 15mg) Nov 2021 : Current - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (4/22 - 0.975mg, 5/22 - 0.9125mg, co 6/22 - 0.25mg, co 8/22 - 0.5mg, co 1/23 - 0.25mg), Diazepam (co 6/22 - 12mg, 7/22 - 11mg, co 8/22 - 5mg, 9/22 - 4mg, 10/22 - 3mg, 11/22 - 2mg, 12/22 - 1mg, co 1/23 - 5mg, 2/23 - 4.5mg, 3/23 - 3.5mg, 4/23 - 3mg), Trazodone 12.5mg, Mirtazapine 15mg Supplements: 1/2 Multivitamin, Fish Oil 2000mg, Probiotic, Magnesium Chelate 280mg, Vit C 500mg, . Melatonin 5mg/3mgXR Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted March 8, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 8, 2022 Good luck with the moving @Onmyway🍀🙏💗 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 10, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted March 10, 2022 A quick update - two things: my temporary improvement was short lived and I am back now into anxiety, nostalgia, face numbness and cotton brain and back to rumination spirals and a couple of nights had an uncomfortable high feeling in the evening. Part of it is due to not sleeping very well due to this annoying sinus infection (worse than my usual 4-5 hrs of sleep). Oh, also managed to get a rash from the antibiotics I was taking, but it's not uncomfortable so all good. Just need to know for the future that I may be allergic to one more antibiotic of the few that I was able to tolerate. I hope I don't need any though. The other thing is that I got an official letter from my GP for adjustments to work due to withdrawal. He offered 25% reduction in duties as well but I don't need that right now so didn't take that. He wrote withdrawal from antidepressants as the cause for the letter. He mentioned that this has been going on for 3 years now and has caused both physical and emotional difficulties. I am not planning on showing that to my employer as they don't need to know at this point. But it is good to have this letter for the future in case I need some adjustments. I have been able to do my duties to mostly decent standards (except for the first 4 months) but they are not my usual standards so it will be good to have this when considered for promotions etc. in the future. But the significance to me is more the fact that it says withdrawal from antidepressants on an official note, so there is some recognition and he deems it qualifying for statutory sick leave/amendments of sorts. And this is the GP who thought it was all in my head. So progress. We have to count small wins here. OMW "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Knosretep Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 8 hours ago, Onmyway said: A quick update - two things: my temporary improvement was short lived and I am back now into anxiety, nostalgia, face numbness and cotton brain and back to rumination spirals and a couple of nights had an uncomfortable high feeling in the evening. Part of it is due to not sleeping very well due to this annoying sinus infection (worse than my usual 4-5 hrs of sleep). Oh, also managed to get a rash from the antibiotics I was taking, but it's not uncomfortable so all good. Just need to know for the future that I may be allergic to one more antibiotic of the few that I was able to tolerate. I hope I don't need any though. @Onmyway Sorry to read you're also back in the muck. Is the high feeling in the evening part of the evening windows and just the contrast to how bad you feel during the rest of the day, or something more? 8 hours ago, Onmyway said: The other thing is that I got an official letter from my GP for adjustments to work due to withdrawal. He offered 25% reduction in duties as well but I don't need that right now so didn't take that. He wrote withdrawal from antidepressants as the cause for the letter. He mentioned that this has been going on for 3 years now and has caused both physical and emotional difficulties. This is great! Hopefully you never come anywhere close to feeling like you need to use it! Wishing you get better soon! ❤️ 2013 - Jan 4, 2021 - Sertraline 50mg Jan 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (1/4) Feb 2021 : Mar 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg April 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg, Amitriptyline 2mg (4/20), Clonazepam 2mg May 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (5/16 - 0mg), Amitriptyline (5/1 - 1mg, 5/16 - 0mg), Clonazepam 2mg Aug 2021 - Sertraline 25mg (re 8/20), Clonazepam 2mg Sep 2021 - Sertraline 50mg (up 9/3), Clonazepam (9/29 - 1mg), Diazepam (9/29 - 2.5mg) Oct 2021 - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (10/14 - 0.9mg, 10/24 - 1mg), Diazepam (10/6 - 1.25mg, 10/14 - 0mg), Trazodone (10/03 - 50mg, 10/17 - 25mg, 10/21 - 12.5mg), Mirtazapine (10/17 - 15mg) Nov 2021 : Current - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (4/22 - 0.975mg, 5/22 - 0.9125mg, co 6/22 - 0.25mg, co 8/22 - 0.5mg, co 1/23 - 0.25mg), Diazepam (co 6/22 - 12mg, 7/22 - 11mg, co 8/22 - 5mg, 9/22 - 4mg, 10/22 - 3mg, 11/22 - 2mg, 12/22 - 1mg, co 1/23 - 5mg, 2/23 - 4.5mg, 3/23 - 3.5mg, 4/23 - 3mg), Trazodone 12.5mg, Mirtazapine 15mg Supplements: 1/2 Multivitamin, Fish Oil 2000mg, Probiotic, Magnesium Chelate 280mg, Vit C 500mg, . Melatonin 5mg/3mgXR Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted April 21, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted April 21, 2022 (edited) Just noticed that today is the three year anniversary of my post to SA. Wow. I am generally feeling better but tapering is still very hard. Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted April 21, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 21, 2022 Oh, I'm so sorry @Onmywayto hear what you're going through. No wonder you're numb-- all of this on top of w/d. This is really not good for you. I hope you can find a place of safety. I'm regularly struck by your strength and vitality, your kindness, intelligence, and dependability. You bring such help and generosity to this site. You deserve to be appreciated and supported. I hope you can establish a work situation that feels stable. Trust in our work as well as private relationships strikes me as a big deal for our peace of mind. Peace helps us heal. (A gatha for OMW) May you be safe. May you have peace. May you feel supported. Sending you hugs🕊️ Arbor 2 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted April 22, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted April 22, 2022 (edited) Dear @arbor, how do you always find these wonderful and uplifting words and manage to lift me up every time? Thank you for being here and giving of yourself so generously. You make this world such a beautiful place just by being you! Thank you. Something shifted after your post @arbor and I was so calm. Thank you for using your magical powers for good Thank you for this. Big hugs, OMW Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 2 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted April 22, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 22, 2022 Wheeoo @Onmyway--You sure handled the situation well. I'm so happy to hear that it has straightened out💗 Warm hugs🌻 Arbor 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted April 24, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted April 24, 2022 (edited) A quick update. The events of this week seem to have set off a wave with more morning anxiety and rumination (all related to trauma) and partly situational. I suspect part of it is that I have been sitting at home all day so the rumination 'sticks.' I am hoping that with the start of the work week I will feel a bit better. Have made two 3.35% drops in the last 25 days. Thinking of making one more this week and then I will take at least 2-3 week break. Things usually catch up to me after 4 weeks. Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator hayduke Posted April 24, 2022 Moderator Share Posted April 24, 2022 That all sounds like real healing, @Onmyway! WD sensitised nervous system can definitely make it easier to go off in those situations. I occasionally apologise if I overcook those moments, but don't feel ashamed of it. I found therapy helped me express anger, displeasure and objections in a way I couldn't before, so it might just be that you're breaking in some of that too. I know what you mean about the shakes, and I reckon you're right. Sometimes when I feel a bit too volatile to be professional, or fair to friends, I will hold and do extra self care. Good on you 🙂 I am not a health professional - your actions are your own. Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one" My taper visualised as a graph | My intro thread Backdrop: 2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole 2015: olanzapine 10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg by crude pill cutter 2018: Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214 -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂 Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^ Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you" -- KMFDM Link to comment
OldDodgy Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 @Onmyway Sorry you’ve had a wobble this last few days. Luckily you have insight into the rubbish days and get through them. As you know, dogs in particular will shake at times of stress. My dog expresses pleasure by rolling around on the grass. Perhaps that releases endorphins? I might try it!! I hope you pick up really soon. OD My Intro topic. Was Dickie in FB gabapentinoids 2020 January Stopped Quetiapine 150 at night in a fairly chaotic fashion with holds, jumping at 6mg 2020 June Stopped Pregabalin 150 at night using Ashton Method Some holds. 2021 December Stopped Mirtazipine 15 using Ashton Method. (Slower at end). Nov 21 - Given Quetiapine 12.5 for sleep. Reduced mid March 2022 to 6mg - Off 30/5/22 Feb 2022 Ongoing Diazepam 17.5, Blip at Christmas when took 22.5mg for a few days, now 24 FEB Stable 17.5 as advised. Had long covid. Now going to 16.25 from 8/7/22. 7% drop Oxazepam 10mg.STOPPED 10th FEB 2022 “Rescue dose x 2 in 2 months. Buccastem 3mg less than 1 a month for nausea. Past meds since 1969 -Approx dates only available. Tranxene 15, Clomipramine 150 for about 25 years. 1993 Paroxetine 20 AD change. Diazepam 20mg swap from Tranxene. Oxazepam 10mg Prn since 1990's 1995 Trial of MAOIS. 2000 Escitaopram 10mg. 2015 trial of Trazadone. 2004 Pregabalin 150 at night. 2015 Started on Quetiapine 150 note, Mirtazipine 15 note. Diazepam increased to 30mg split dosing. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted April 25, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted April 25, 2022 (edited) On 4/24/2022 at 8:00 AM, hayduke said: That all sounds like real healing, @Onmyway! WD sensitised nervous system can definitely make it easier to go off in those situations. I occasionally apologise if I overcook those moments, but don't feel ashamed of it. I found therapy helped me express anger, displeasure and objections in a way I couldn't before, so it might just be that you're breaking in some of that too. I know what you mean about the shakes, and I reckon you're right. Sometimes when I feel a bit too volatile to be professional, or fair to friends, I will hold and do extra self care. Good on you 🙂 Thanks @hayduke, in the middle of it things seem so intense and all important that I really don't see myself as over-reacting emotionally (not necessarily externally), only in hindsight does it clarify. I was thinking I'd lower my dose yesterday but I don't think it is a good idea. I am just all over the place right now. Have you recovered from Covid-19? Please take care of yourself. It is a sneaky one! And thanks for stopping by, it helps a lot Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
OldDodgy Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 Thanks @Onmyway Even after 30 days the Covid still causes tiredness and anxiety but I feel a slight improvement over the last 48 hours. My lungs are holding up thank goodness after the dip. I am sorry you are facing a wave, it’s just SO tiring. - Especially the anxiety. Do take care not to empty your tank helping others at the moment. I hope you can just rest for a bit and nurture yourself. Yours OD My Intro topic. Was Dickie in FB gabapentinoids 2020 January Stopped Quetiapine 150 at night in a fairly chaotic fashion with holds, jumping at 6mg 2020 June Stopped Pregabalin 150 at night using Ashton Method Some holds. 2021 December Stopped Mirtazipine 15 using Ashton Method. (Slower at end). Nov 21 - Given Quetiapine 12.5 for sleep. Reduced mid March 2022 to 6mg - Off 30/5/22 Feb 2022 Ongoing Diazepam 17.5, Blip at Christmas when took 22.5mg for a few days, now 24 FEB Stable 17.5 as advised. Had long covid. Now going to 16.25 from 8/7/22. 7% drop Oxazepam 10mg.STOPPED 10th FEB 2022 “Rescue dose x 2 in 2 months. Buccastem 3mg less than 1 a month for nausea. Past meds since 1969 -Approx dates only available. Tranxene 15, Clomipramine 150 for about 25 years. 1993 Paroxetine 20 AD change. Diazepam 20mg swap from Tranxene. Oxazepam 10mg Prn since 1990's 1995 Trial of MAOIS. 2000 Escitaopram 10mg. 2015 trial of Trazadone. 2004 Pregabalin 150 at night. 2015 Started on Quetiapine 150 note, Mirtazipine 15 note. Diazepam increased to 30mg split dosing. Link to comment
Knosretep Posted April 25, 2022 Share Posted April 25, 2022 (edited) @Onmyway Really sorry to hear about the upset over the job and your friend, but I'm glad that both came through for you. From here, it doesn't seem like your reaction was out of proportion at all given what you're going through and been through. Trauma work sounds like lifting a heavy burden you didn't realize was draped over you for so long, and then finally being free of having to carry it anymore, almost as if it was a bunch of layers of wet clothing you never noticed you were wearing. They are cold, uncomfortable, and weighing you down, and stick to your skin while you try to peel them off, but the reward of removing them finally lets you feel warmth and weightless, and you can fly again, unbounded. At least, that is what I imagine and hope for you. Wishing you well! Edited April 25, 2022 by Knosretep spacing 1 2013 - Jan 4, 2021 - Sertraline 50mg Jan 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (1/4) Feb 2021 : Mar 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg April 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg, Amitriptyline 2mg (4/20), Clonazepam 2mg May 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (5/16 - 0mg), Amitriptyline (5/1 - 1mg, 5/16 - 0mg), Clonazepam 2mg Aug 2021 - Sertraline 25mg (re 8/20), Clonazepam 2mg Sep 2021 - Sertraline 50mg (up 9/3), Clonazepam (9/29 - 1mg), Diazepam (9/29 - 2.5mg) Oct 2021 - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (10/14 - 0.9mg, 10/24 - 1mg), Diazepam (10/6 - 1.25mg, 10/14 - 0mg), Trazodone (10/03 - 50mg, 10/17 - 25mg, 10/21 - 12.5mg), Mirtazapine (10/17 - 15mg) Nov 2021 : Current - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (4/22 - 0.975mg, 5/22 - 0.9125mg, co 6/22 - 0.25mg, co 8/22 - 0.5mg, co 1/23 - 0.25mg), Diazepam (co 6/22 - 12mg, 7/22 - 11mg, co 8/22 - 5mg, 9/22 - 4mg, 10/22 - 3mg, 11/22 - 2mg, 12/22 - 1mg, co 1/23 - 5mg, 2/23 - 4.5mg, 3/23 - 3.5mg, 4/23 - 3mg), Trazodone 12.5mg, Mirtazapine 15mg Supplements: 1/2 Multivitamin, Fish Oil 2000mg, Probiotic, Magnesium Chelate 280mg, Vit C 500mg, . Melatonin 5mg/3mgXR Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted May 4, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted May 4, 2022 (edited) On 4/25/2022 at 4:13 PM, Knosretep said: @Onmyway Really sorry to hear about the upset over the job and your friend, but I'm glad that both came through for you. From here, it doesn't seem like your reaction was out of proportion at all given what you're going through and been through. Trauma work sounds like lifting a heavy burden you didn't realize was draped over you for so long, and then finally being free of having to carry it anymore, almost as if it was a bunch of layers of wet clothing you never noticed you were wearing. They are cold, uncomfortable, and weighing you down, and stick to your skin while you try to peel them off, but the reward of removing them finally lets you feel warmth and weightless, and you can fly again, unbounded. At least, that is what I imagine and hope for you. Wishing you well! So sorry I missed answering this one. Thank you for the nice post. I love your description of trauma as wet clothing (one of the worst sensory experiences for me - wet jeans, ew, ouch). I am working hard on the trauma part but it is so much work! My sleep has gotten worse partly because I get early morning sun in my bedroom and so wake up very early. Wil seriously consider putting foil on my windows as I don't have another solution. I am discovering over the last few years that my emotional symptoms also have seasonal patterns - end of April to end of May is always a difficult time, same for August and December while January and September-October seem to be better. I wonder if anyone else notices this. This is not necessarily dependent on the weather as I have lived in places with different climates. Last year at around this time I was in a very bad place as well. I am really hoping for respite from this and hope to be able to resume my taper. OMW Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 3 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Ariel Posted May 4, 2022 Share Posted May 4, 2022 Hi @Onmyway Thank you for your generous, helpful presence here. Know that even when you are not online your many posts are actively helping users such as myself. Your contributions spanning the site are a legacy of support. 48 minutes ago, Onmyway said: Wil seriously consider putting foil on my windows as I don't have another solution. After years (!) of having uncovered windows I finally put up a makeshift blackout cloth and it has really helped. Facilitates sleep and also makes the waking cortisol spike feel milder. My installation is pretty primitive. I simply bought thick, opaque black fabric (ordered online), cut small holes in it either corner, and hung it on a few hooks across the window frame. Not perfect, doesn't block the light completely, but it's an improvement. 52 minutes ago, Onmyway said: I am discovering over the last few years that my emotional symptoms also have seasonal patterns - end of April to end of May is always a difficult time, same for August and December while January and September-October seem to be better. I wonder if anyone else notices this. Someone once told me that certain seasons or times of the year can become "encoded" in our nervous systems in correlation with memorable events (pleasant or unpleasant). Not permanent encoding but a deep-rooted association that becomes subconscious, so that we may be more prone to certain tendencies of mood or behavior at certain times of year. I suppose this would be strongest in instances of past trauma. I don't know whether any of the above is "scientifically" true, but the basic idea makes sense to me. The body remembers. Wishing you respite and moments of peace and relief along the way, A. 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil blend w/ morning meal (incl. vit. A+D+E); calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted May 30, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted May 30, 2022 (edited) I've been struggling recently with some really big life issues and it has kept me anxious. Also had a health scare recently which is being investigated but not yet resolved. OMW Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 2 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
OldDodgy Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 @Onmyway The first thing is to put this into perspective. You are not only managing your own heath issues but those of a friend who you now barely recognise. Of course you feel deeply that she is traumatised and has probably been abused by the mental health system. Your life and training has been around getting folk’s brains back into some semblance of normalcy. However she is fearful and resistant and will not see a drug free way forward. I think she has a personality disorder which is v hard to fix without a huge amount of intensive counselling. For that to be effective she can’t be on such a cocktail of meds. Imho you must withdraw from the situation for a while. The medics clearly think she has capacity so it really is up to her if she asks to reduce and even possibly stop the mind altering drugs. Tragic as it is, and we would love to apportion blame, she is in a system of revolving doors from which only she can escape. You are exhausted by this scenario and I would urge you to let go without any guilt whatsoever, though sadness is inevitable. You must nurture yourself right now in my view. Best wishes OD My Intro topic. Was Dickie in FB gabapentinoids 2020 January Stopped Quetiapine 150 at night in a fairly chaotic fashion with holds, jumping at 6mg 2020 June Stopped Pregabalin 150 at night using Ashton Method Some holds. 2021 December Stopped Mirtazipine 15 using Ashton Method. (Slower at end). Nov 21 - Given Quetiapine 12.5 for sleep. Reduced mid March 2022 to 6mg - Off 30/5/22 Feb 2022 Ongoing Diazepam 17.5, Blip at Christmas when took 22.5mg for a few days, now 24 FEB Stable 17.5 as advised. Had long covid. Now going to 16.25 from 8/7/22. 7% drop Oxazepam 10mg.STOPPED 10th FEB 2022 “Rescue dose x 2 in 2 months. Buccastem 3mg less than 1 a month for nausea. Past meds since 1969 -Approx dates only available. Tranxene 15, Clomipramine 150 for about 25 years. 1993 Paroxetine 20 AD change. Diazepam 20mg swap from Tranxene. Oxazepam 10mg Prn since 1990's 1995 Trial of MAOIS. 2000 Escitaopram 10mg. 2015 trial of Trazadone. 2004 Pregabalin 150 at night. 2015 Started on Quetiapine 150 note, Mirtazipine 15 note. Diazepam increased to 30mg split dosing. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted June 3, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 3, 2022 Dear @Onmyway--I'm wondering how you're doing. Big life concerns as well as the health scares are very upsetting, and especially during w/d. You continue helping us here on the Forum all the while you're dealing with private issues. Your strength is remarkable. And kindness. I wish I could lighten your load. You mention your friend. Gosh, it's heartbreaking. I have similar situations where friends close to me are ensnared in the drugs and no matter what, still believe the psychiatric stories. It's very difficult to watch. Please know I'm thinking of you and am so glad you're there. Arbor💜 1 Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 5, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted June 5, 2022 (edited) I had a nice 2 day partial window - all of the problems I've had were still there but I did not feel horrible about them. It was wonderful! Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 5, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted June 5, 2022 On 6/3/2022 at 5:31 PM, arbor said: Dear @Onmyway--I'm wondering how you're doing. Big life concerns as well as the health scares are very upsetting, and especially during w/d. You continue helping us here on the Forum all the while you're dealing with private issues. Your strength is remarkable. And kindness. I wish I could lighten your load. You mention your friend. Gosh, it's heartbreaking. I have similar situations where friends close to me are ensnared in the drugs and no matter what, still believe the psychiatric stories. It's very difficult to watch. Please know I'm thinking of you and am so glad you're there. Arbor💜 Thank you Arbor, this feel so nice and reassuring, especially right now. I really appreciate you! OMW 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 5, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted June 5, 2022 On 5/30/2022 at 3:08 AM, OldDodgy said: @Onmyway The first thing is to put this into perspective. You are not only managing your own heath issues but those of a friend who you now barely recognise. Of course you feel deeply that she is traumatised and has probably been abused by the mental health system. Your life and training has been around getting folk’s brains back into some semblance of normalcy. However she is fearful and resistant and will not see a drug free way forward. I think she has a personality disorder which is v hard to fix without a huge amount of intensive counselling. For that to be effective she can’t be on such a cocktail of meds. Imho you must withdraw from the situation for a while. The medics clearly think she has capacity so it really is up to her if she asks to reduce and even possibly stop the mind altering drugs. Tragic as it is, and we would love to apportion blame, she is in a system of revolving doors from which only she can escape. You are exhausted by this scenario and I would urge you to let go without any guilt whatsoever, though sadness is inevitable. You must nurture yourself right now in my view. Best wishes OD Thank you so much @OldDodgy, you are right - they are the only one who can decide to "unpatient" themselves as Alto says so I have followed your advice and removed myself from the situation. They text me occasionally when feeling low but I will keep the conversation to platitudes rather than try to offer real help as that never gets accepted. I have recommended books/articles etc that are never read. I am so sorry your pain is still so bad. I wish we knew more about Covid and its impact on withdrawal. It is clear it hurts us, just not clear how long that will go and how to help rebalance our systems. 2 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 6, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted June 6, 2022 (edited) My situation got resolved, I'm moving to my friend's house, getting my rent back from here. It will be super quiet and isolated there but it's only for about 12 days (friend joins me after) and I have plans to see people in the meantime. So, I'm ready for a quiet break. Will have to actively plan against boredom/isolation. Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 2 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Kaervin Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 5 hours ago, Onmyway said: So, I'm ready for a quiet break. Will have to actively plan against boredom/isolation. True, they say you don't realize how used you are to certain noises until they are gone. If you become bored we always welcome your presence on SA, as your insight and help are greatly appreciated. Plus misery loves company right? 😜 2 2008: March, Klonopin .5 mg to 1 mg 2009: Dec, CT Klonopin 2010: full year heavy alcohol use 2011: Jan - withdrawals start 2012: Apr- bad wave, start zoloft 50 2014 to 2020: Switch ADs Sertraline 100mgs >Lexapro 20 mgs>Prozac 20 mgs >Lexapro 20 2021: Sertraline 25 mgs 2022: Mar. Cut dose down to 12.5 End of May, starting to crash physically/mentally. Link to comment
Ariel Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 @Onmyway Thinking of you <3 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg August 2021 - 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1mg melatonin March 31, 2023 - 0mg melatonin 2024 supplements update: electrolyte blend in water sipped throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil blend w/ morning meal (incl. vit. A+D+E); calcium; vitamin C+zinc Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 16, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted June 16, 2022 (edited) On 6/15/2022 at 10:46 PM, Ariel said: @Onmyway Thinking of you <3 Thank you so much sweet @Ariel. I've been doing generally ok. I had feared so much being alone and left to my own devices to ruminate but have in fact enjoyed the quiet and am not looking forward to breaking it - I will be traveling with some new friends for 3 days this weekend. I will miss the pine trees smell when this is over. I'm staying here for longer after the weekend but won't be alone and that's always a challenge for me. I have been reading a book called "Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine". I picked it up because it is in a bunch of lists for funniest books but it's actually not funny. It's ultimately uplifting but depicts a lot of verbal and emotional abuse. I really like it though. In that sense it's actually similar to Fleabag, my favorite cry/laugh series. Have hit a wall with therapy. I'm resisting a lot of grief that needs to be processed. I worry that it will swallow me. But I am also exhausted from keeping it at bay. And keeping me at bay. On a different note, I have resumed tapering - had been doing 0.25% every day with breaks when symptoms get bad. Had a week long break to get things settled esp. given recent changes. Let's see how this batch of reductions will go. Both the Horowitz paper and SA advise against such micro tapers - i.e. everyday tapering. I'm not entirely sure I understand the logic. I think the worry is that you won't understand the symptoms until it's too late? I am being careful and flexible. Let's see how it goes. Goal is to get 5% a month if possible with a one week break every 3 weeks of tapering and minimal symptoms if possible. I like that I can change the schedule this way to accommodate things that happen in my life. For example with a 10% every 4 weeks taper if something happens externally 2 weeks after lowering I can't pump the brakes - it's too late. On the other hand - with a 10% every 4 weeks taper I know that I get my high the first week of lowering, feel the physical symptoms the week after, then a plateau and a worse wave at 4 weeks after lowering with emotional spirals. So there's something to be said about predictability. But I really hate that 4th week wave - it is so disruptive to my work and relationships. The truth of the matter probably is that I am just scared of 10% or even 5% at a time drops. Chicken here. Avoidance. Called it! This withdrawal business is so exhausting. Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
OldDodgy Posted June 16, 2022 Share Posted June 16, 2022 @Onmyway Hiya howevrr you reduce , I hope it goes ok. OD My Intro topic. Was Dickie in FB gabapentinoids 2020 January Stopped Quetiapine 150 at night in a fairly chaotic fashion with holds, jumping at 6mg 2020 June Stopped Pregabalin 150 at night using Ashton Method Some holds. 2021 December Stopped Mirtazipine 15 using Ashton Method. (Slower at end). Nov 21 - Given Quetiapine 12.5 for sleep. Reduced mid March 2022 to 6mg - Off 30/5/22 Feb 2022 Ongoing Diazepam 17.5, Blip at Christmas when took 22.5mg for a few days, now 24 FEB Stable 17.5 as advised. Had long covid. Now going to 16.25 from 8/7/22. 7% drop Oxazepam 10mg.STOPPED 10th FEB 2022 “Rescue dose x 2 in 2 months. Buccastem 3mg less than 1 a month for nausea. Past meds since 1969 -Approx dates only available. Tranxene 15, Clomipramine 150 for about 25 years. 1993 Paroxetine 20 AD change. Diazepam 20mg swap from Tranxene. Oxazepam 10mg Prn since 1990's 1995 Trial of MAOIS. 2000 Escitaopram 10mg. 2015 trial of Trazadone. 2004 Pregabalin 150 at night. 2015 Started on Quetiapine 150 note, Mirtazipine 15 note. Diazepam increased to 30mg split dosing. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted June 16, 2022 Author Moderator Share Posted June 16, 2022 2 hours ago, OldDodgy said: @Onmyway Hiya howevrr you reduce , I hope it goes ok. OD Thanks for the support @OldDodgy How are you managing? Do you see any changes? omw "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
OldDodgy Posted June 16, 2022 Share Posted June 16, 2022 @Onmyway Not good my friend. With warm wishes OD My Intro topic. Was Dickie in FB gabapentinoids 2020 January Stopped Quetiapine 150 at night in a fairly chaotic fashion with holds, jumping at 6mg 2020 June Stopped Pregabalin 150 at night using Ashton Method Some holds. 2021 December Stopped Mirtazipine 15 using Ashton Method. (Slower at end). Nov 21 - Given Quetiapine 12.5 for sleep. Reduced mid March 2022 to 6mg - Off 30/5/22 Feb 2022 Ongoing Diazepam 17.5, Blip at Christmas when took 22.5mg for a few days, now 24 FEB Stable 17.5 as advised. Had long covid. Now going to 16.25 from 8/7/22. 7% drop Oxazepam 10mg.STOPPED 10th FEB 2022 “Rescue dose x 2 in 2 months. Buccastem 3mg less than 1 a month for nausea. Past meds since 1969 -Approx dates only available. Tranxene 15, Clomipramine 150 for about 25 years. 1993 Paroxetine 20 AD change. Diazepam 20mg swap from Tranxene. Oxazepam 10mg Prn since 1990's 1995 Trial of MAOIS. 2000 Escitaopram 10mg. 2015 trial of Trazadone. 2004 Pregabalin 150 at night. 2015 Started on Quetiapine 150 note, Mirtazipine 15 note. Diazepam increased to 30mg split dosing. Link to comment
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