Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted October 5, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 5, 2023 I’m sorry you’re still struggling with your ankle @OnmywayWith friends, like the one you mentioned, who needs enemies?😁 Sorry to hear too that you had three weeks of intense rumination, when that happens due to these awful meds, it feels like it’s never going to end, doesn’t it? Can you put another offer in for the house once the renter is gone? That must have been so frustrating for you, especially when you found a place you actually loved. Sending hugs🤗💛 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted October 5, 2023 Author Moderator Share Posted October 5, 2023 (edited) Thanks for stopping by @Carmie. It's so lovely to see you around the site more. I always worry when you're away because I think you're suffering too much with WD and the lungs. You brighten my day when you are around I've had a bad day today. Spoke with the estate agent and he told me some things that contradict things that he's said before (within the same conversation). It's really frustrating. On top of everything a coworker who was supposed to contribute to a presentation I need to make next week abroad turned hasn't done anything on the project. And we have been working nonstop the last couple of weeks, one of the coworkers worked on the weekend when all her family (two young kids + her + husband) had a stomach bug. I've been so on edge today, I'm worried this can set off another wave, debating cancelling travel abroad next week but it would inconvenience other people whose fault this is not. I want to go on a screaming rampage, I'm so fed up. Omw Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted October 5, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 5, 2023 You’re too kind @Onmyway, I like interacting on this site, but I tend to disappear here and there because of my lungs and struggling to breathe day in and day out really takes it toll. I’m barely hanging in there most of the time, waking up suffocating every day is scary. I can’t cope with much else at the moment. I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve had a bad day, it’s so hard when people aren’t reliable. I hope you don’t end up in another severe wave, stress can certainly trigger them. I was just thinking about your ankle pain, have you heard of Dr Sarno and TMS, sometimes pain that continues on is due to the mind/body thing. I don’t have any chronic pain at the moment and autoimmunity and my struggling to breathe isn’t exactly TMS, but it no doubt has a mind/body connection. I like listening to Dan Buglio on YouTube, his channel is called Pain free You. I’m reading one of Dr Sarno’s books at the moment and have ordered another. He’s not alive anymore, he died at 93 years of age. Dan Buglio calls the pain thing PDP, perceived danger pain. His videos are amazing. He has the nicest chill, caring vibe. Big hugs 🤗🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
BigCat Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 Big perspective: Some folk, we don't know how damaged they have been by their life experiences. They don't know what damage we have been traumatised by... and even if they did, their history limits how they can respond. Local perspective: I fekkin hate it that my ankle is stopping me doing stuff. Compassionate perspective: cut yourself some slack, no wonder you are frustrated, be kind Various ADs from 1991, always for depression with anxiety and agitation... sertraline, paroxetine, citalopram (with 2.5mg olanzapine briefly), coming off each for increasingly shorter times until 2000 when I went on meds full time with Clomipramine 200mg. Then Venlafaxine (XR) since 2008, initially 225mg, then 300mg, plus tried on venlafaxine with mirtazapine (California Rocket) for only a week in 2017(?) as absolutely intolerable. July '23 Venlafaxine XL 300 to 275mg. Aug '23 275 to 250mg. Sept/Oct '23 250 to 230 to 225mg. Nov '23 205mg. Dec '23 185mg. 28 Dec '23 reinstated 225mg after crashing. Supplements: Vitamin D and fish oil. "L'exposition du merde est temporaries". Although I have a background in health, I am here to learn from others, encourage others and share my experiences, not to give professional guidance. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted October 5, 2023 Author Moderator Share Posted October 5, 2023 (edited) Thanks @BigCat, it is hard to find perspectives in the midst of anger and especially withdrawal anger but today has been good. My boss stepped up and took a hold of the project long term. I have been beating myself up a bit about losing the apartment and not moving faster but then remembered that until now every apartment that I have lost I have found something better eventually. So, I am not as bothered by it. I may try to get it eventually - I quite liked it but also realize that there are other options. @Carmie this pain thing actually reminds me of a book I am reading "Ending Medical Reversal" by Vinay Prasad who mentions that a lot of pain is actually an issue of perception rather than a physical thing - they do sham surgeries to fix back pain and they work almost as well as the real surgeries. This ankle pain could indicate that I have a bone bruise - this is when the inside of the bone is broken rather than the outside solid part and I have had it in the same ankle in a different place many years ago. You need an MRI to diagnose it and I had private insurance at the time so got it. It is highly unlikely I will get it on the government this time. And it will probably be wasteful anyway as there is little they can do. Will call the GP after my trip to see if they can do anything else. The problem is that physical therapy and movement are good if it's not a bone bruise but immobilization is good if it's a bone bruise. I am hoping it is not the latter as that would mean I need vitamin D and that doesn't go well with withdrawal for me. Edited December 1, 2023 by Onmyway 2 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
BigCat Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 @Onmyway How are you surviving? Various ADs from 1991, always for depression with anxiety and agitation... sertraline, paroxetine, citalopram (with 2.5mg olanzapine briefly), coming off each for increasingly shorter times until 2000 when I went on meds full time with Clomipramine 200mg. Then Venlafaxine (XR) since 2008, initially 225mg, then 300mg, plus tried on venlafaxine with mirtazapine (California Rocket) for only a week in 2017(?) as absolutely intolerable. July '23 Venlafaxine XL 300 to 275mg. Aug '23 275 to 250mg. Sept/Oct '23 250 to 230 to 225mg. Nov '23 205mg. Dec '23 185mg. 28 Dec '23 reinstated 225mg after crashing. Supplements: Vitamin D and fish oil. "L'exposition du merde est temporaries". Although I have a background in health, I am here to learn from others, encourage others and share my experiences, not to give professional guidance. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted October 27, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 27, 2023 Hey there @Onmyway, just popping in to see how your ankle is doing🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted October 29, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 29, 2023 Hi again @Onmyway, I’ve still been thinking of you and your ankle problem. I really hope it’s getting better. Thanks for your recommendation of a show, I saw the trailer, but it wasn’t my thing. I don’t like shows or movies with a lot of swearing. I hope you are finding some shows and other things that can help you to distract while you’re in waves. One day at a time does it, hey? Sendng you big, big hugs🤗🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted October 29, 2023 Author Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2023 Hi @Carmie and @BigCat, so great to hear from both of you. I am a bit bad about updating here. I think of updating mostly when I am in a wave but then I don't want to whine too much. I had a huge, intense wave for a week. Then it broke when I had a cold. But these bad waves leave traces because they make me worry that they will repeat so I end up hypervigilant. Yesterday was on edge with worry again. I am also quite tired - I always get this post viral fatigue thing the last few years - probably a WD exacerbated thing. The ankle has been resting a lot recently as I didn't go out at all with the cold. I had it checked by a paramedic friend who was visiting and who said that I should do my physical therapy more regularly (I have been slacking a bit) and that there isn't anything to worry yet. When it hurts at rest after exertion, ice it and if it gets worse the physio can refer me to the orthopedist. I think I will wait it out a bit longer but need to get a new physio appointment soon. Otherwise, work will be quite intense the next 4 weeks so I am a bit stressed out but everyone is cooperating so far so it is OK. I think I have some sort of nutritional deficiency or something because bottom of feet are tingling. It could be just part of the wave but I might also need to eat better - I have been avoiding meat unintentionally - just didn't feel like it lately but might have to correct that. I hate this hypersensitivity to vitamins - D and Bs get me wired badly. Thank you for checking in on me, fellow walkers on this journey! You always bring me joy! I hope you are finding some joy and meaning in your life as well! OMW "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
BigCat Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 6 hours ago, Onmyway said: Hi @Carmie and @BigCat, so great to hear from both of you. I am a bit bad about updating here. I think of updating mostly when I am in a wave but then I don't want to whine too much. I had a huge, intense wave for a week. Then it broke when I had a cold. But these bad waves leave traces because they make me worry that they will repeat so I end up hypervigilant. Yesterday was on edge with worry again. I am also quite tired - I always get this post viral fatigue thing the last few years - probably a WD exacerbated thing. The ankle has been resting a lot recently as I didn't go out at all with the cold. I think I have some sort of nutritional deficiency or something because bottom of feet are tingling. It could be just part of the wave but I might also need to eat better - Thank you for checking in on me, fellow walkers on this journey! You always bring me joy! I hope you are finding some joy and meaning in your life as well! OMW You are not alone in not wanting to appear to whine. I don't post much of my own for the same reason. Had Covid again a little while ago and a really bad cold recently- really knocked the stuffing out of me and also felt very post viral... led me to being off work recently. So, guess all I'm saying is that you are in good company. Eat better? I'm smiling about your feet tingling- in true Woody Allen style, I too had convinced myself of serious illness recently largely because I was focusing on/looking for/amplifying symptoms caused by hunger!!! G'on yersel' Various ADs from 1991, always for depression with anxiety and agitation... sertraline, paroxetine, citalopram (with 2.5mg olanzapine briefly), coming off each for increasingly shorter times until 2000 when I went on meds full time with Clomipramine 200mg. Then Venlafaxine (XR) since 2008, initially 225mg, then 300mg, plus tried on venlafaxine with mirtazapine (California Rocket) for only a week in 2017(?) as absolutely intolerable. July '23 Venlafaxine XL 300 to 275mg. Aug '23 275 to 250mg. Sept/Oct '23 250 to 230 to 225mg. Nov '23 205mg. Dec '23 185mg. 28 Dec '23 reinstated 225mg after crashing. Supplements: Vitamin D and fish oil. "L'exposition du merde est temporaries". Although I have a background in health, I am here to learn from others, encourage others and share my experiences, not to give professional guidance. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted October 31, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 31, 2023 Sorry to hear you were in a big wave again @Onmyway, and that worry has kicked in. This life is quite something, isn’t it? We are all hanging in by the skin of our teeth. I’m glad to hear that you’ve had a chance to rest your ankle, let me know how your new physio appointment goes when you get there. Must be frustrating when you can’t walk properly. I kicked my toe once and it was totally bruised and I couldn’t stand up at all. I didn’t have crutches or anything, and I was sliding along the floor on my backside for a few days. It was too painful to stand up. I didn’t see anyone about it, as there wasn’t really anything anyone could do. It was blue for a long time and I had to walk on the side of my foot. I have an inkling I could have maybe broken something. Maybe I should buy myself a pair of crutches for emergencies 😁 Yeah, some supplements can certainly ramp up our withdrawal symptoms. I don’t take B, but I’m fine with vitamin D. I take just a run of the mill vitamin D and also calcitriol, which my endocrinologist put me on. It’s a prescription one. If you want to eat meat again, get yourself some nice grass fed mince. You can do so much with it, just put a little bit through your veggie dishes. Add the piece de résistance, fried onions. I loooooove fried onions. When I’m too sick to cook and can’t sauté onions, but have to throw them in the microwave with other veggies, it’s not the same. How dare my onions not sauté themselves🧅🧅🧅😂 Sending hugs🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus getofflex Posted November 9, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 9, 2023 Oh no, I'm sorry to hear you were in a big wave in late October? How are you doing now? I'm also very sorry to hear that you hurt your ankle. And losing your apartment, and having issues at work - yikes! This is a lot of stuff to deal with! Your med regimen was very similar to mine, except mine was escitalopram. (my drug sig is truncated because it got too long, and I was asked to shorten it). It looks like you are not far from being med free! Congratulations, that is awesome. It's great that you are going slowly at the very end of the taper. That will make it easier to jump off. Please do not private message me. Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you. ***Please note this is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one. Lexapro Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg; started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20 0.18 mg; Jul 16 0.17 mg, Aug 23 0.16 mg, Oct 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005, Jul 8, 0.00. Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!! Woohoo!!! other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted February 8 Author Moderator Share Posted February 8 So, I had Covid two weeks ago and am still recovering. The worst of it, I think, is over. But during the illness I was so out of it I missed one or two doses and my timing was all over the place. I'm now paying the price - I've started waking up with intense terrors (worse than usual) even after good dreams. I have lucid dreams which is how I knew I had skipped a dose when I was on the drug full time. I'm dizzy and have the yuck/disgust, nauseous feeling which is where I was exactly 5 years ago. I'm also dealing with doctors who are trying to push treatments for something else on me (well-meaning but not helpful). I'm hoping I see blue skies soon and am grateful for the good times that I've had. Five years ago was awful. That's not my everyday now (and hope won't be) thank goodness! 2 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted February 9 Administrator Share Posted February 9 I'm sorry to read things have been a little rough lately, Onmyway. Covid can really knock you around, so be kind and patient to yourself. 17 hours ago, Onmyway said: during the illness I was so out of it I missed one or two doses and my timing was all over the place. I'm now paying the price Easy enough to happen when you're sick. Stability will return with a bit of time. 17 hours ago, Onmyway said: Five years ago was awful. That's not my everyday now Look how far you've come...amazing. Once you stabilise, you'll be onyourway again 🙃 Thanks for all you do here. Emonda 1 Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. 2017 – 2022: Vortioxetine 15mg, Jan ’22, 15mg->5mg over 4 weeks, Feb ‘22 5mg -> 7.5mg due to WD, July ’22 6.75mg (found SA website), Aug 6.07mg, Sep 5.46mg, 11 Oct 5.00mg, 18 Oct 4.88mg, 25 Oct 4.75mg, 1 Nov 4.63mg, 8 Nov 4.5mg, 3 Jan ’23 4.39mg, 10 Jan 4.28mg, 17 Jan 4.06mg, 13 Feb 3.95mg, 20 Mar 3.85mg, 3 Apr 3.75mg, 10 April 3.65mg, 31 May 3.58mg, 8 June 3.50mg, 15 June 3.43mg, 22 June 3.35mg, 12 Jul 3.29mg, 19 Jul 3.22mg, 26 Jul 3.15mg, 3 Aug 3.09mg, 30 Aug 3.02mg, 7 Sep 2.96mg, 14 Sep 2.89mg, 21 Sep 2.82mg, Oct 11 2.75mg, Oct 19 2.70mg, Oct 26 2.64mg, Nov 2 2.59mg, Nov 23 2.53mg, Nov 30 2.48mg, 7 Dec 2.43mg, 17 Dec 2.38mg, 19 Jan 2.33mg, 26 Jan 2.28mg, 2 Feb 2.24mg, 8 Feb 2.19mg, 29 Feb 2.15mg, 7 Mar 2.10mg, 14 Mar 2.06mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 10 Apr 1.95mg, 17 Apr 1.91mg, 24 Apr 1.87mg, Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted February 9 Author Moderator Share Posted February 9 Thank you so much for your support @Emonda. I really appreciate your lovely presence on this site and everything you do. May the world be blessed with more people like you! Hugs, OMW "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 1 Author Moderator Share Posted March 1 The last month has been challenging. I got hit with the flu right after Covid in the middle of intense work deadlines. I haven't recovered fully yet - my energy is low and I get dizzy when walking and I need to be super careful as my immune system seems shot. In the middle of all that a 3rd blood test comes with a couple of abnormal results and I can't get clear answers from the GP or the hematologists that he consults on why. Since May 2023 I have had a high MPV and low monocytes with the rest of my blood tests normal and the blood smear says that basically my platelets are of uneven size. The GP ignored it and the hematologist whom the GP consulted seems to not be worried either - though his comment - "it is a good thing" seemed weird - it is definitely not a good thing but maybe they worried that it was something more sinister and it is not that. I have an MD/pathologist friend who wants me to see a hematologist privately but I am not sure whether that would do any good. Most of these explorations end up nowhere. I had a friend a few years ago who had high unexplained eosinophils in her blood and kept pursuing it and got a bone marrow biopsy and things just kept coming unclear or negative and after a couple of years she had to stop without understanding why she had this. It is just frustrating and I am sick of being sick. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
BigCat Posted March 1 Share Posted March 1 @Onmyway Fekkin' covid has brought with it so many "unknown unknowns" ( remember Donald Rumsfield?). It brought inflammation in all body systems and pathologies, and it seems that the vaccinations have done just the same... As if being unwell wasn't enough, we are putting up with random merde that doesn't fit in with medical science up until now... But we are catching up in that we now know that there's stuff to be investigated. Bloods? We can all have an outlier result on any single measure, not a big issue if other related stuff is fine and it's not part of a pattern. I'm not a doctor, but the real craft of a good medic is seeing patterns in a wider perspective. Do what you feel is right. Find someone you trust. Your instinct will tell you. Big hugs and encouragement. Various ADs from 1991, always for depression with anxiety and agitation... sertraline, paroxetine, citalopram (with 2.5mg olanzapine briefly), coming off each for increasingly shorter times until 2000 when I went on meds full time with Clomipramine 200mg. Then Venlafaxine (XR) since 2008, initially 225mg, then 300mg, plus tried on venlafaxine with mirtazapine (California Rocket) for only a week in 2017(?) as absolutely intolerable. July '23 Venlafaxine XL 300 to 275mg. Aug '23 275 to 250mg. Sept/Oct '23 250 to 230 to 225mg. Nov '23 205mg. Dec '23 185mg. 28 Dec '23 reinstated 225mg after crashing. Supplements: Vitamin D and fish oil. "L'exposition du merde est temporaries". Although I have a background in health, I am here to learn from others, encourage others and share my experiences, not to give professional guidance. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus getofflex Posted March 2 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 2 Onmyway it sounds like you are really going through it - one thing after another. I like what Big Cat said: 18 hours ago, BigCat said: Bloods? We can all have an outlier result on any single measure, not a big issue if other related stuff is fine and it's not part of a pattern. I'm not a doctor, but the real craft of a good medic is seeing patterns in a wider perspective. Do what you feel is right. Find someone you trust. Your instinct will tell you. I understand the frustrated feeling, and being sick of being sick. I feel that way off and on just with the PAWS. Hang in there. Hopefully as we go into spring, you will feel better. Please do not private message me. Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you. ***Please note this is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one. Lexapro Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg; started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20 0.18 mg; Jul 16 0.17 mg, Aug 23 0.16 mg, Oct 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005, Jul 8, 0.00. Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!! Woohoo!!! other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus arbor Posted March 3 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 3 I hope you feel better soon @Onmyway💜 Arbor Zoloft: 1995 - 2015 Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on December 15, 2018 Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019 (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019 Enalapril: 2010 - 2019 Lipitor: 2017 -2017 Metformin: 2000 - 2020 Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019 Levothyroxine: 2000 - 2022 Link to comment
Moderator hayduke Posted March 3 Moderator Share Posted March 3 Sorry to hear you've been having all these health issues lately @Onmyway. Hope you are getting plenty of rest and good food - sending healing vibes! I am not a health professional - your actions are your own. Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one" My taper visualised as a graph | My intro thread Backdrop: 2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole 2015: olanzapine 10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg by crude pill cutter 2018: Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214 -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂 Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^ Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you" -- KMFDM Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 4 Author Moderator Share Posted March 4 Thank you @BigCat @getofflex @arbor and @hayduke. It feels so great to feel supported by you! I am hanging in there! What else can we do! OMW 1 "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted March 4 Administrator Share Posted March 4 I'm sorry to read you've had a rough trot of late, OMW. Sounds like a bit of a perfect storm. On 3/2/2024 at 6:22 AM, BigCat said: "unknown unknowns" ( remember Donald Rumsfield?). I did have a chuckle out of this. Don't forget the known unknowns... 2 hours ago, Onmyway said: I am hanging in there! What else can we do! Hour by hour, day by day, sometimes. I'm looking forward to reading that you are in a window sometime soon 🙏 Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. 2017 – 2022: Vortioxetine 15mg, Jan ’22, 15mg->5mg over 4 weeks, Feb ‘22 5mg -> 7.5mg due to WD, July ’22 6.75mg (found SA website), Aug 6.07mg, Sep 5.46mg, 11 Oct 5.00mg, 18 Oct 4.88mg, 25 Oct 4.75mg, 1 Nov 4.63mg, 8 Nov 4.5mg, 3 Jan ’23 4.39mg, 10 Jan 4.28mg, 17 Jan 4.06mg, 13 Feb 3.95mg, 20 Mar 3.85mg, 3 Apr 3.75mg, 10 April 3.65mg, 31 May 3.58mg, 8 June 3.50mg, 15 June 3.43mg, 22 June 3.35mg, 12 Jul 3.29mg, 19 Jul 3.22mg, 26 Jul 3.15mg, 3 Aug 3.09mg, 30 Aug 3.02mg, 7 Sep 2.96mg, 14 Sep 2.89mg, 21 Sep 2.82mg, Oct 11 2.75mg, Oct 19 2.70mg, Oct 26 2.64mg, Nov 2 2.59mg, Nov 23 2.53mg, Nov 30 2.48mg, 7 Dec 2.43mg, 17 Dec 2.38mg, 19 Jan 2.33mg, 26 Jan 2.28mg, 2 Feb 2.24mg, 8 Feb 2.19mg, 29 Feb 2.15mg, 7 Mar 2.10mg, 14 Mar 2.06mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 10 Apr 1.95mg, 17 Apr 1.91mg, 24 Apr 1.87mg, Link to comment
Rosetta Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Hey Onmyway, Hi. I’m really sorry to hear that you have been feeling bad and getting squirrely results from your tests. Wishing you a speedy recovery though. Take care, 🧚🏻♀️Rosetta https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Oaktree1 Posted March 6 Share Posted March 6 Hi Onmyway, I am really sorry you have had such a rough time over the past few months with your health. It seems like you got Covid twice from reading back on top or hurting your ankle on top of flu and the strange and inconclusive blood results that must be an annoying niggle. You are such a great mod here on the site and really put me right on my own taper last year with your mathematical know how. I really hope you come through this bad bout of physical health set backs soon. Oaktree1 Currently tapering Mirtazapine; previously tapered Cymbalta 30mg from June 2018-Feb 2019 and Seroquel 150mg to zero from Oct-December 2020. Supplements for Hashimoto's disease and histamine issues relating to Mirtazapine: Vitamin D3 1,000mcg, bio-identical HRT, Selenium, Quercetin, Lutein, Zinc, Vitamin C, Omega 3. Mirtazapine Taper: 2021 16th Aug - transitioned to liquid from tablet by dissolving two 15mg tablets into a solution of 15 ml water and 15 ml maple syrup on a starting dose of what I thought was 7.5ml; 17 Sept - 7.31; 24 Sept - 7.13; 15 Oct - 6.95; 6 Nov - 6.78; 21 Nov - 6.61; 5 Dec - 6.51; 2022 - 1 Jan 6.41; 1 Feb - 6.1; 9 Mar - 5.8; 13 Mar - 5.9; 7 Apr - 5.8; 21 Apr - 5.7; 7 May - 5.63; 23 May - 5.55; 8 June 5.50; (got COVID on 12th June so held); 1 July 5.4; 15 July 5.32; 8 Aug 5.2; 15 Aug 5.1; 22 Aug 5; 19 Sept 4.9; 2 Oct 4.81; 13 Oct 4.71; (COVID Booster 17/10/22 so longer hold ); 1 Nov 4.65; 3 Nov 4.60; 10 Nov 4.55; 13 Nov 4.50; 17 Nov 4.45; 20 Nov 4.40; 2 Dec 4.30mg; 9 Dec 4.20mg; I discovered that the volumetric container measured 33ml rather than 30ml in Dec 2022. Following helpful advice from moderator OnMyWay (see her reply of the 5th March) discovered taper with the dilution was 3.8mg (calculated by dividing 30/33 so that every 1ml of solution has 0.90ml of Mirtazapine. 7.50 - 0.90= 6.6ml which was the starting dose on 16th Aug 2021 not 7.5ml). I decided to keep using the solution as I didn't want more change to deal with than I had to. 2023 17 Mar 4.1(3.7); 26 Mar 4.0(3.6); 14 Apr 3.9(3.51)28 Apr 3.8(3.42); 6 Jun 3.7(3.33); 19 Jun 3.6(3.24); 30 Jun 3.5(3.1); 19 Jul 3.4(3.06); 27 Jul 3.35 (3.01); 29 Jul 3.3 (2.97); 4 Aug 3.25 (2.92); 7 Aug 3.2 (2.88); 21 Aug 3.1 (2.79); 14.09 3 (2.7); 29th Sept 2.9(2.61); 15 Oct 2.8(2.52); 30 Oct 10 2.7(2.43); 13 Nov 2.65(2.38); 20 Nov 2.6(2.34); 26 Nov 2.55(2.29); 10 Dec 2.5(2.25); 2024 - 14 Jan 2.45(2.20); 22 Jan 2.40(2.16); 29 Jan 2.35(2.11); 2 Feb 2.3 (2.07);15 Feb 2.25(2.02); 22 Feb 2.21 (1.98); 29 Feb 2.17(1.95); 7 Mar 2.13(1.91); 21 Mar 2.05 (1.84); 31 Mar 2.01 (1.80); 14 Apr 1.90 (1.71); This is not 'medical advice' - my 'non medical advice' is don't get any more 'medical advice' or you may end up getting more 'medical treatment' i.e more drugs, DSM labels and/or ECT. Please do not PM me thanks. Link to comment
Jaffa Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Onmyway, Hi there, I'm truly sorry to see what you are suffering onmyway. I've just been reading through your thread and can relate to your spiralling mind around relationships and the difficulty around thoughts and making decisions when in withdrawal or in my case just feeling somewhat unstable at present. Since introducing mirtazapine 8 months ago I'm noticing lots of waves of depression. When the drugs are affecting your emotions then its seems unreasonable to trust your thoughts. It's a maddening experience trying to figure anything out so I tend to come back to the body and mentally change the channel. This leaves me wondering if I'm avoiding stuff though. Also I'm sorry to hear of your physical troubles. Physical illness makes all this stuff 10x worse. I am recovering slowly from a severe tummy bug and emotionally it has sent me down into a very dark place . Anyways, I hope you feel better really soon. 2003 Paxil - I can't remember the dose but I think it was 10mg experienced horrendous akathisia when starting for 3 weeks then okay 2004. slow reduction to 0 , withdrawal symptoms, so reinstated to 10mg - again horrendous Akathisia which lasted 5 weeks. 2005 - attempted to slowly taper off and again Terrible withdrawal so reinstated and endured akathisia until it settled. Psychiatrist changed me over to Zoloft so that I could have another baby. No adverse reaction with the switch except terrible diorreah 2006 tried once more to come off Zoloft carefully with terrible results. reinstated Zoloft and used 2.5 mg of zyprexa to help Akathisia- horrid episode lasted 3 months with some akathisia and severe depression which I’d never had before. Withdrawal from zyprexa ( depression) 2008 50 mg of Zoloft then after 6 months I tapered to 25 mg and decided to stay there . 2012 stress event and peri menopause acute anxiety which led to, updosing to 125 mg, tortuous symptoms(akathisia) then stabilized, back to 50 mg- 2014 - same again down to 25 with Akathisia on updosing and a hospital visit. 2019 - 2023 Zoloft tapering by 2 mg linear taper every 3 months started at 50 mg, got to 25 mg around January 2023. June 2023- health anxiety and what feels like withdrawal again. Insomnia, anxiety, blunted good feelings. 2023 June- Zyprexa taken twice, ativan 1 mg taken once, temazepan infrequent but 15- 18th of June used for 4 nights 2023 August - introduced 7.5 mg of mirtazapine for 12 days then 15mg of mirtazapine. Sleep now ok but daily life depression, anhedonia, agitation and a weird feeling of being sedate and anxious at the same time. Currently holding. My introduction thread: Jaffa: Possibly late onset withdrawal Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 18 Author Moderator Share Posted March 18 So a quick update here as I am really tired. Last week was brutal with a lot of big life decisions needing to be made with limited information. It is sinking more and more in me that I have extreme loss aversion - it is a cognitive bias with which losses and risks loom larger than gains. I have the option to take a risk where I have a chance of achieving something I want while at the same time risking a bad health outcome. All I can think about is the bad health outcome even though the chance of it, even when doubled is about only 10%. I am paralyzed with the decision which in a few months will probably not matter at all. Last week was incredibly stressful to the point that my whole body was feeling the stress - exhaustion from all the cortisol surges. Sleep is quite bad again - less than 4-5hrs a night. Magnesium helped a bit but not enough. I am slowly getting my medicine timing back to night time instead of morning. I have been taking a higher dose but at more than 24 hr intervals. It probably has something to do with the wave/stress/insomnia as well. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator hayduke Posted March 18 Moderator Share Posted March 18 4 hours ago, Onmyway said: So a quick update here as I am really tired. Last week was brutal with a lot of big life decisions needing to be made with limited information. It is sinking more and more in me that I have extreme loss aversion - it is a cognitive bias with which losses and risks loom larger than gains. I have the option to take a risk where I have a chance of achieving something I want while at the same time risking a bad health outcome. All I can think about is the bad health outcome even though the chance of it, even when doubled is about only 10%. I am paralyzed with the decision which in a few months will probably not matter at all. Last week was incredibly stressful to the point that my whole body was feeling the stress - exhaustion from all the cortisol surges. Sleep is quite bad again - less than 4-5hrs a night. Magnesium helped a bit but not enough. I am slowly getting my medicine timing back to night time instead of morning. I have been taking a higher dose but at more than 24 hr intervals. It probably has something to do with the wave/stress/insomnia as well. That all sounds really stressful, OMW. It's not really fair to have to make decisions like that when your brain is feeling messy, and it's tough not getting enough sleep. Maybe yoga and/or meditation might be calming enough to get a clearer perspective on your situation? Either way, hope you are feeling better before long... I am not a health professional - your actions are your own. Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one" My taper visualised as a graph | My intro thread Backdrop: 2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole 2015: olanzapine 10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg by crude pill cutter 2018: Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214 -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂 Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^ Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you" -- KMFDM Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted March 18 Administrator Share Posted March 18 4 hours ago, Onmyway said: I have extreme loss aversion - it is a cognitive bias with which losses and risks loom larger than gains. I can relate to this, OMW! I'm sorry to read that you are in this position. I do my best to avoid big decisions when I feel fragile, but I know that not all decisions can be delayed. I wish you well with the decision-making and outcome. Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. 2017 – 2022: Vortioxetine 15mg, Jan ’22, 15mg->5mg over 4 weeks, Feb ‘22 5mg -> 7.5mg due to WD, July ’22 6.75mg (found SA website), Aug 6.07mg, Sep 5.46mg, 11 Oct 5.00mg, 18 Oct 4.88mg, 25 Oct 4.75mg, 1 Nov 4.63mg, 8 Nov 4.5mg, 3 Jan ’23 4.39mg, 10 Jan 4.28mg, 17 Jan 4.06mg, 13 Feb 3.95mg, 20 Mar 3.85mg, 3 Apr 3.75mg, 10 April 3.65mg, 31 May 3.58mg, 8 June 3.50mg, 15 June 3.43mg, 22 June 3.35mg, 12 Jul 3.29mg, 19 Jul 3.22mg, 26 Jul 3.15mg, 3 Aug 3.09mg, 30 Aug 3.02mg, 7 Sep 2.96mg, 14 Sep 2.89mg, 21 Sep 2.82mg, Oct 11 2.75mg, Oct 19 2.70mg, Oct 26 2.64mg, Nov 2 2.59mg, Nov 23 2.53mg, Nov 30 2.48mg, 7 Dec 2.43mg, 17 Dec 2.38mg, 19 Jan 2.33mg, 26 Jan 2.28mg, 2 Feb 2.24mg, 8 Feb 2.19mg, 29 Feb 2.15mg, 7 Mar 2.10mg, 14 Mar 2.06mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 10 Apr 1.95mg, 17 Apr 1.91mg, 24 Apr 1.87mg, Link to comment
Moderator Onmyway Posted March 19 Author Moderator Share Posted March 19 Thank you @Emonda and @hayduke. I know this too shall pass but it has been so so hard recently. I am waiting for a call from a doctor (an hour late) and am terrified of another fight about another thing we disagree about. And I am stuck with this person. I am just so exhausted. In my case a lot of the care is money-oriented and I just can't escape it. How can a doctor's goal be to fleece you! How can you then trust them? I am then trying to make my own decisions in the lack of trust and how do I know those are right if I am not the clinician? Yesterday I was feeling this so physically that I took a tiny bit of really old alprazolam (0.20mg altogether). I just needed to stop shaking. I think part of the issue is definitely withdrawal - the fact that I was changing my to a later time in the day and had been inconsistent in the timing when I was passed out sick with Covid and then flu. I know this because I am also struggling with sleep and that is definitely a withdrawal thing - waking up after 3 hrs of sleep all shaky and wired. I can feel the cortisol dump on my body. This too shall pass is what keeps me going these days. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment
Moderator hayduke Posted March 19 Moderator Share Posted March 19 (edited) 7 hours ago, Onmyway said: Thank you @Emonda and @hayduke. I know this too shall pass but it has been so so hard recently. I am waiting for a call from a doctor (an hour late) and am terrified of another fight about another thing we disagree about. And I am stuck with this person. I am just so exhausted. In my case a lot of the care is money-oriented and I just can't escape it. How can a doctor's goal be to fleece you! How can you then trust them? I am then trying to make my own decisions in the lack of trust and how do I know those are right if I am not the clinician? That's awful. Most of the state doctors I was stuck with last year didn't listen to a word I said, and ran roughshod over my expressed wishes. Not that I was paying them, that's adding insult to injury. I hope you can move into a better healthcare setting before long. Edited March 19 by hayduke I am not a health professional - your actions are your own. Please do not seek tapering support via private message - "Any reason to hold is a good one" My taper visualised as a graph | My intro thread Backdrop: 2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole 2015: olanzapine 10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg by crude pill cutter 2018: Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214 -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂 Jun 2023 💉150mg paliperidone "loading" depot shot, 100mg 1wk after Jul 100mg Aug-Dec 75mg/4wks Jul 2023 2.50mg aripiprazole/day attempt to lower prolactin^ Jan-Feb 2024 cross taper off shots to 1mg risperidone Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you" -- KMFDM Link to comment
Jaffa Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 @Onmyway @hayduke Im amazed by your strength and ability to endure. I know you probably feel like you have no other choice but you endure it nonetheless and it simply blows my mind. Visiting doctors that don’t have a clue what they’re doing -Uurgh. So very hard when one is so stressed and vulnerable and in need of help. It only adds salt to the wound. I have mountains of admiration for you yep ! I truly do. Hold on and keep on going like you always do. You’re holding a torch for me. I’m witnessing your brave journey. Love 🧡 2003 Paxil - I can't remember the dose but I think it was 10mg experienced horrendous akathisia when starting for 3 weeks then okay 2004. slow reduction to 0 , withdrawal symptoms, so reinstated to 10mg - again horrendous Akathisia which lasted 5 weeks. 2005 - attempted to slowly taper off and again Terrible withdrawal so reinstated and endured akathisia until it settled. Psychiatrist changed me over to Zoloft so that I could have another baby. No adverse reaction with the switch except terrible diorreah 2006 tried once more to come off Zoloft carefully with terrible results. reinstated Zoloft and used 2.5 mg of zyprexa to help Akathisia- horrid episode lasted 3 months with some akathisia and severe depression which I’d never had before. Withdrawal from zyprexa ( depression) 2008 50 mg of Zoloft then after 6 months I tapered to 25 mg and decided to stay there . 2012 stress event and peri menopause acute anxiety which led to, updosing to 125 mg, tortuous symptoms(akathisia) then stabilized, back to 50 mg- 2014 - same again down to 25 with Akathisia on updosing and a hospital visit. 2019 - 2023 Zoloft tapering by 2 mg linear taper every 3 months started at 50 mg, got to 25 mg around January 2023. June 2023- health anxiety and what feels like withdrawal again. Insomnia, anxiety, blunted good feelings. 2023 June- Zyprexa taken twice, ativan 1 mg taken once, temazepan infrequent but 15- 18th of June used for 4 nights 2023 August - introduced 7.5 mg of mirtazapine for 12 days then 15mg of mirtazapine. Sleep now ok but daily life depression, anhedonia, agitation and a weird feeling of being sedate and anxious at the same time. Currently holding. My introduction thread: Jaffa: Possibly late onset withdrawal Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted April 1 Administrator Share Posted April 1 How are you doing, onmyway? Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. 2017 – 2022: Vortioxetine 15mg, Jan ’22, 15mg->5mg over 4 weeks, Feb ‘22 5mg -> 7.5mg due to WD, July ’22 6.75mg (found SA website), Aug 6.07mg, Sep 5.46mg, 11 Oct 5.00mg, 18 Oct 4.88mg, 25 Oct 4.75mg, 1 Nov 4.63mg, 8 Nov 4.5mg, 3 Jan ’23 4.39mg, 10 Jan 4.28mg, 17 Jan 4.06mg, 13 Feb 3.95mg, 20 Mar 3.85mg, 3 Apr 3.75mg, 10 April 3.65mg, 31 May 3.58mg, 8 June 3.50mg, 15 June 3.43mg, 22 June 3.35mg, 12 Jul 3.29mg, 19 Jul 3.22mg, 26 Jul 3.15mg, 3 Aug 3.09mg, 30 Aug 3.02mg, 7 Sep 2.96mg, 14 Sep 2.89mg, 21 Sep 2.82mg, Oct 11 2.75mg, Oct 19 2.70mg, Oct 26 2.64mg, Nov 2 2.59mg, Nov 23 2.53mg, Nov 30 2.48mg, 7 Dec 2.43mg, 17 Dec 2.38mg, 19 Jan 2.33mg, 26 Jan 2.28mg, 2 Feb 2.24mg, 8 Feb 2.19mg, 29 Feb 2.15mg, 7 Mar 2.10mg, 14 Mar 2.06mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 10 Apr 1.95mg, 17 Apr 1.91mg, 24 Apr 1.87mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted April 5 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 5 I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much @Onmyway💛 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
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