Hanna72: I will be free

[Sebas]

Hundreds of things can influence or trigger withdrawal when CNS had become (over)sensitive. Try to think back what NEW products (food, drinks, cosmetics, perfumes etc.) may have caused this sudden arise of WD. 98% of the time it's something you have overlooked or not considered to be a trigger. If its ongoing then its something you probably have been using for several days. 

[Addax]

9 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

So I am getting a little scared as I don’t feel good at all.

Withdrawal symptoms are very scary and sometimes there seems to be no rhyme or reason for them - making them that much more scary.  Cortisol is a great hormone, but because things get disregulated during withdrawal, it can become the root of many of the uncomfortable symptoms we experience during withdrawal. It’s involved in a lot of functions, including regulating blood pressure. Unfortunately, cortisol also has a role in perimenopause/menopause symptoms.  
 

Do you take magnesium or Omega-3/fish oil? I have found both to be helpful. Magnesium really seems to take the edge off cortisol related systems.

 

 

[Hanna72]

Thank you @Addax

Yes I take both magnesium and fish oil everyday. Also D vitamin. I will put it in my signature.

[Moonpie]

 

@Hanna72 Sorry to  hear you have had a rough time. Waves are never fun.  I have watched them on the beach and the description of up and down so fit the description of what we experience.   Withdraw symptoms are notorious for morphing.  They may change in intensity or a completely new one will pop up. I have had some I haven't found mentioned but I  know that's what it was because it went away.    I know it can be frightening but remind yourself it is just withdraw and your nervous system is working hard to heal.  As miserable as it is a good thing.  Keeping that in mind has helped me in dealing with them. 

 

If  you are concerned go to the doctor and have it checked out to ease your mind.  My blood pressure and heart rate have jumped around before. Anxiety can cause high blood pressure.  I had an anxiety attack in an ER once and my blood pressure was 180/100.  It went down to normal fairly quickly  when I calmed down.  

 

You might want to check into bioidentical compounded hormones  They can only be made by a compounding pharmacy which are pretty common now and usually in every town. They are plant based and not synthetic.  It is called BHRT.  They are derived from plants and similar to hormones  produced by the body.  

 

My doctor told me they do not have the risk associate with the synthetic ones and even help protect against those things.  Talk to a compounding pharmacy that does BHRT and maybe you can find a doctor that works with them.  Maybe it would be something for you.  I have used them for 23 years now.  Maybe it would be something for you.

 

This is a journey not a destination.  You are healing!!!  Keep up the great work! Hugs!

[Hanna72]

Hi everyone.

Just wanted to drop by with some good updates. 
I am feeling much better overall, feeling stable without minimal symptoms. So I decided few days ago I was ready to drop to 10 mg, even though I planned on staying at 11 mg for a while. Now I will stay at 10mg until I am ready for the next cut, but in the meantime I am enjoying where I am at.
It’s good because I cut my pill in half, so it’s easier for me.

Will go to Paris in a couple of weeks, feeling confident and happy.

I decided to take a break from this site for a while. 
 

Hugs everyone ❤️

 

Edited March 14, 2023 by Hanna72

[Addax]

On 3/14/2023 at 5:51 PM, Hanna72 said:

am feeling much better overall, feeling stable without minimal symptoms.

So great! This update made me smile. I’m very happy for you!

[Hanna72]

Awww your the sweetest @Addax thank you💕

Doing ok, feeling all kinds of symptoms, maby it’s just my mind playing a trick on me. 
I will be at 10 mg (half a pill) for now. 
You all in here have taught me so much. Thank you💕

[Hanna72]

Hi everyone 

Just thought of you all as I am waiting for my travel to Paris to begin. 
I wanted to give some hope for those who are struggling or those on their way to freedom.

Yes this journey most definitely has it ups and downs. I do still feel symptoms, mostly anxious feelings, even though I am at 10 mg, but I believe it’s such an unfamiliar feeling to me, and there for I start to question my tapering. I am used to feeling numb, or at least numb to the anxiety. But quess what, I will get through this. These are only sensations that everyone has. It’s human. I need to get familiar with these sensations and know I will be ok.

Anyways, just my thoughts this evening.

This community has taught me so much, and i  thank you💕
 

[Hanna72]

Hi everyone 

As I sit here in Paris I wanted to tell you all, I am doing well.

Yes it has been challenging, but I always have been able to calm myself down when feeling anxious. My brain has been in overdrive due to all the navigations around me, and I feel extremely proud that I have made it, through my vacation on 10 mg. For me it is huge. 
Going home tomorrow and can’t wait to meet up with my dog, miss her so much.

Will have few days off until I start my work again.

Just feeling thankful, I made it through. 
I will be ready soon to cut my fluoxetine again.

Have a wonderful day 😍

[Hanna72]

Hello everyone.

Just dropped to 9 mg. 
I would like to say that this time my tapering is going very smoothly as I am following the guidelines here, and sometimes extending the in between holds longer than 4 weeks. 
This has by far been the smoothest ride, minimal symptoms, yes of course I have bad days, but nothing like I have experienced before with my tapering. 
Praying that this is all due to my correct drops🙏

My outlook has changed drastically as I will NOT hurry up to be free anymore, but focus on being able to function with the least symptoms. If it will take me longer then I want, so be it. I believe in this process now. 
I am feeling like my old self, joking around and laughing a lot. Can you believe that I have not had one panick attack for… well can’t think of when my last one was👏👏👏

This update is for you who needs courage or faith. Hopefully I will continue on this path.

My best regards to all❤️

[Addax]

So happy to read things are going well for you! Yay!

[Hanna72]

Aww thank you @Addax, we are in this together 💕

So today I am feeling down, I hate writing negative posts, as positivity is one of my coping skills. 
But I will put it out there, I am struggling today. Mostly because I am feeling sorry for myself as I am for the hundredth time trying to quit smoking 😣

I feel like such a looser as I have tried for so many times, and only get few days in then I fail. Well at least I try, that’s the only positive thing I can see.

Anyways, just documenting this on my thread, no need to respond. 
My tapering is going well, so I can’t complain.

 

[Oaktree1]

Hi Hanna72,

 

I don't know if you tried this method but it worked for me - I was a smoker for over 25 years.

Before you light up a cigarette, you set aside one minute of time.   You can set an alarm on your phone or use your watch.  During that one minute you think of all the reasons you want to give up smoking.  For example I want to give up smoking so that I don't get 'x' or 'y' disease or disability or so that I can save money.  You really try to focus hard on the reasons and visualise them for one minute.  When the minute is up, you can light up and smoke.  When you are having your cigarette, don't do anything else - don't sit comfortably or zone out doing something else at the same time.  Just stand up and concentrate on the act of smoking.

 

It did work for me and I had done the Allan Carr method around 4 times to no avail and used the gums and patches for years.  It might help...or not ...everyone is different.  I wouldn't beat yourself up about it - smoking is really hard to quit.  I lost count of the times I tried to give up over the years.   I still get the odd craving but not in the same league as before - each craving only lasts 15 minutes - that's apparently a scientific 'fact' if you can trust anything 'scientific'.

 

On the other hand it is great news that this time your taper is going smoothly and that you are enjoying life.

 

Oaktree1

[Hanna72]

Thank you so much @Oaktree1 for your advice and lovely message 💕

I am happy to hear you are a none smoker today, isn’t it just a awful addiction 🥹 

Proud of you, you are just such a lovely person. Thank you💕

Edited May 3, 2023 by Hanna72

[Hanna72]

Hallo everyone 

Let’s see, 30 days smoke free!

I am proud but feeling so depressed and sad. I have had stressful events surrounding my dog and her health. Surprisingly after quitting smoking my stress level has decreased tremendously, and depression has taken over. 
I have never been a depressed person. I actually thought today…. Maby I should go back up to 10 mg??? 
It’s funny that when ever I am challenged with emotions, I go right back to reconsidering my dosage🥺

Just need to wait it out, knowing better days are coming. This is life, and I want to feel it all. 
 

Hugs everyone 😍

Edited June 1, 2023 by Hanna72

[Greatful]

@Hanna72  

congrats on the 30 days smoke free....I know how hard it is to stop.  I smoked for many years, started reallyyyyy young.  I quit smoking about 31 years go ( yeah I'm old LOL)....But boy, I dreamed about smoking for a long time. 

 

It’s funny that when ever I am challenged with emotions, I go right back to reconsidering my dosage

I think this is so common amongst most of us...I feel so awful, this is just me, I need something to take the pain away.  Just about every time the big depression wave hits I struggle with maybe I need to try something else..

When the worst part of the wave of depression lifts I go" Oh maybe I am not depressed, it's w/d I don't need drugs' LOL.  Man, the mind is a powerful thing, it can influence us in all directions....Thoughts, just plain old mind games and thoughts...

I lost my dog in March 😓 I still look for her when I drop food on the ground🙄 (Now my kitchen floor has more crumbs), car rides, do I have to let her out potty before I go somewhere.  When I get home I think I need to let her out potty....The list goes on.

You know you got this Hanna.  

[Hanna72]

Hi everyone 

Just wanted to check in with a little update. And by the way thank you dear @Grateful for your kind encouraging word, you are so sweet 💕

First and foremost my tapering is going really well these days. Down to 6,3 mg. I truly believe this is my final and solid taper which is followed by the information on this site. I do however get some symptoms 5-10 days aprox after each cut, but it subsides slowly few days later. I also hold a little longer if I need to.

My symptoms are mostly worse sleep, some stress and buzzing in my brain, but I can handle it.
I just got a new job and will be changing jobs in November 😃

This needed some extra courage which I am so happy that I am seeing through. 
Otherwise I am doing really good you guys, always learning some new tactics and listening to a whole bunch of life improvements podcasts and books 😅 I am a work in progress. Can’t say the nicotine has left the building, but I never give up trying.😁

Sending each and every one of you my best wishes, hopefully you are having a wonderful day 💐

 

[Addax]

Hi Hanna72.

Thank you for dropping by my thread and offer encouraging words.  I see you haven’t posted since August. How are you doing? Are you holding at 4mg? 

[Hanna72]

Hi @Addax Thank you for dropping by.

I am doing fairly good. A lot going on this month as I have changed jobs.  It has been though, some days better than others, but slowly feeling more comfortable and secure in my new work environment.
 I had two bad interactions with new staff members that put me in a bad place mentally but I have pushed through. 
I am feeling confident in my tapering schedule. 

Will be at 3.6 mg tomorrow.  If I ever feel I need to hold my tapering I will do so. I have actually been surprised how well it’s going, praying it will continue.

I am not in here much, it’s more suitable for me, as I don’t want to think about my tapering at all. The only time I am reminded that I am tapering is when I feel intense emotions and all kinds of memories surfacing, which comes in waves.

Oh and I am still nicotine free!!  I actually think stopping nicotine has been so helpful with decreasing stressful situations and couldn’t come at a better time than this, before I reach zero fluoxetine. 

That’s my update for now. 
All my best 🙏

 

[Addax]

I'm so glad things are going well!  Changing jobs and new people is challenging anyway, so great news that despite the bump you were able to push through.  Negative interactions throw me for more of a loop than I'd expect, while other things I expect to don't.

 

Congratulations on remaining nicotine free! That's so great!

 

What is your tapering schedule like? 

 

I also try not to think about withdrawal and tapering. I prepare my doses for the week just for that reason. They are prepped in their little tubes and I down one each morning without a thought.  If I could prep them a month out I would.  I want the process to be as thoughtless as possible. 

 

Keep on keeping on!  

[littlebird]

20 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Oh and I am still nicotine free!!  I actually think stopping nicotine has been so helpful with decreasing stressful situations and couldn’t come at a better time than this, before I reach zero fluoxetine. 

Woah, that's awesome!!! Nicotine free is a goal for some day. Always thought I should figure out meds before tackling that habit, so interesting to hear it helped you to do it while still tapering! You're so strong. 😤

 

20 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

slowly feeling more comfortable and secure in my new work environment.

Congratulations on the new job! It's such an adjustment to start with a new group of folks, hope you continue to feel comfortable and secure. 

[Hanna72]

On 11/30/2023 at 9:55 PM, Addax said:

Negative interactions throw me for more of a loop than I'd expect

Yeb I am the same. And the lower I go in dosage the more vulnerable I feel I am cause I am getting less and less of that filter so to speak. I just came across an interesting book called The laws of human nature by Robert Greene, that I find helpful in giving advice for example hard interactions at work. 
I find myself wanting to soak up all kinds of information regarding human behaviour and valuable tips and tricks while going through the process of tapering. It’s feels like I am reprogramming my brain after years of being “drugged “

On 11/30/2023 at 9:55 PM, Addax said:

 

Congratulations on remaining nicotine free! 

Thank you I appreciate it. 

 

On 11/30/2023 at 9:55 PM, Addax said:

What is your tapering schedule like? 

10% every 4 weeks. It has gone to 4-6 weeks, but mostly 4.

I go by how I feel now.

On 11/30/2023 at 9:55 PM, Addax said:

They are prepped in their little tubes and I down one each morning without a thought.

Right on👌

Keep on going as well, we will get there Addax I just know it. Nice and steady dose it.

On 11/30/2023 at 10:00 PM, littlebird said:

Woah, that's awesome

Aww thank you littlebird, it’s so nice of you to drop by my thread, I appreciate it. 

 

On 11/30/2023 at 10:00 PM, littlebird said:

Always thought I should figure out meds before tackling that habit

Yes it really is amazing how much calmer I feel. Nicotine being a stimulant did only stress me more out. I started observing how I felt every time I smoked. I bought an app that helped me quit call Quitsure. And it literally brainwashed me😅 Thankfully so. Just shows how powerful our minds are. I never thought I could quit, and did sooooo many attempts. 
Naah I am not strong, just stubborn and I don’t want to be defeated by the things I want 🙂

I think that it applies for us all in here, going through this journey, it’s not for the faint of heart.

 

Thank you for your kind words, I hope you are doing well. 

All my best to you both🙏

 

 

Edited December 2, 2023 by Hanna72

[Hanna72]

My thoughts for the last few weeks. 
As I get lower in the drug tapering I have so many emotions coming up. It’s both sweet and bitter. I always try to have an optimist attitude towards life. Sometimes I just get really sad, more so lately. Might be the Christmas season, might be the memories coming up in my mind which have been buried for many years, I don’t know. I am done with being angry and frustrated for “being put on these drugs.” I often feel I have been rubbed the emotions and the opportunity to choose my real reaction towards life and its obstacles. But I know I shouldn’t think about what done is done. 
I miss my past, as weird as it might sound. I miss the real me. She has been gone for so long, but slowly is resurfacing and for some reason makes me emotional. I see “her” coming, like every time in the past when I quit the drug, I got so excited and happy, then boom… I was drawn into withdrawals madness.

 Hopefully “she” will be able to stay now.

Now I know I am not hidden behind the drug but slowly coming out into my own raw human being. 
I want to feel every single emotions, I feel it is my right to be able to. I know I am capable like everyone else. Why shouldn’t I be? I am not different than other people, I don’t “lack “ anything! Just because I had 2 panic attacks 23 years ago, due to stress and overwhelming situations, is NOT a life sentence of mental illness. 

 One thing is for sure. This whole journey has been stuck with my life for so long, and the crazy thing is I am starting to accept that it has only been my own personal life lesson. How absurd is that! The thing I hated the most, has actually been my most motivated reason for knuckling through hard episodes and been the best teacher for me. 
I choose to see it this way. I will flip it from negative to my positive.

Be well everyone🙏

[Longroadhome]

Hi Hanna 

I popped back to give an update and just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I really hope all is well and that 2024 is good to you. 
Take care Hanna xx 

[Hanna72]

Hallo everyone!

A little update, as I am not active on here anymore I still keep on going with my tapering. 
I have been going through so many changes for the past few months, leaving a job I had spent years working at, dealing with all kinds of rude attitude from new work environment, quitting there, getting another job which I will start in March 😅 Omg I can’t even describe the nonsense I have gone through. I am so proud that none of this has broken me, but made me so much stronger. I often think of this community because in here I have learned my coping skills ( I know sounds corny) but so true. 
Who would have thought I could survive all these obstacles on a low dose of fluoxetine. By no means life is easy, but how grateful I am to be standing believing in myself and what I always knew….that is I Don’t need a pill to survive but skills nobody told me about.

I come in once in a while to record my tapering, other than that for now it suits me best to keep on going without paying any attention to the tapering. 
 

I have goosebumps saying this, but I cherish every single one of you in here as you all have been my greatest teachers and the only ones believing in the wd symptoms. I know I am not done with this project but I am getting closer every day.
 

For anybody reading this, believe 🫶

Edited January 25 by Hanna72

[Oaktree1]

Hi Hanna72,

 

Thanks for your update and your kind post on my thread a while ago.  What a great update - You are standing up for yourself and taking no bullying or rubbish from people.  Two job changes and tapering still - that is real strength. 

 

I saw a video with Robert Green (author of 'the 48 Laws of Power', 'Human Nature' and 'Mastery') on the Joe Bartlett podcast a few days ago about careers and how not to involve yourself with toxic people.  He said if you have a toxic boss, if you can at all, leave the job as the emotional damage can be considerable.    I hope the next job will have nicer people in it.  It is also great to have a job and be working to distract while tapering.

 

I hope your tapering continues to go well and good luck with the new job

 

Oaktree1