wantrelief

[wantrelief]

Thank you very much for your kind and supportive message, @Erell.....it is very much appreciated.  

 

[JS11]

Oh my friend:

I saw the posts with the sad news about your father's passing. Expected or sudden: the loss of a parent is so very difficult. I have found that no words can really convey what people want to say other than how truly sorry I am for you and your family.

I send you much love and a heart felt virtual hug. You are always so kind and thoughtful to others. Please share some of that kindness with yourself.

Take care dear WantRelief.

JS11

[wantrelief]

Hello dear @JS11:  Thank you so much for your kind message.....I very much appreciate your support.  I am sending much love and a big hug back to you. 💖

 

[Erell]

Hello @wantrelief, 
I was thinking of you today, and just saw that you started a new taper. How are you doing ?

Sending hugs ❤️ 

[wantrelief]

Hello @Erell:  Thank you for stopping by and for your message.....I just wrote one on your thread and saw you had written me!  

 

Yes, I have restarted my taper.  I don't know how to answer how I am doing really as everyday is such a challenge.  I know you are in the same boat.  But...I was able to make a tiny cut and did another one last night so it feels good to be making some small steps downward again.  It is hard to keep going like this but I don't know what else to do.  I keep repeating "the only way out is through" to myself.

 

It was lovely to see your message and it lifted my spirits so thank you. 💖

[Erell]

Dear @wantrelief, 
You're right, answering the "how are you doing" question is not always a pleasure.
I'm glad to hear from you, whatever your answer and your current feelings. ❤️

I understand your wish to move forward with your taper. I know you are being careful and doing your best to take care of your body and help it heal. And I'm sure you wil heal, I have read too many success stories to doubt it.

 

As you may already know, I like to quote others to help me express my support in English. Today I am offering you a compilation of some of Baylissa's messages, hoping that they will convey to you all the support you have here and the assurance that you are not alone, ever.

 

"If this was shared every day, it would still be not too often: Your withdrawal experience is just a chapter in your life. Please don’t see it as your whole life. I know that having to put all your resources & mental capabilities into coping can be all-consuming & may make it seem that this is all there is & ever will be. No, this is a challenge that will one day come to an end. Why am I so confident? Because of all the ‘good news’ emails I have received over the years from people who once thought they were literally going mad or dying, as a result of a bad withdrawal. It wasn’t always easy & for some, recovery took longer than anticipated. But inevitably, the day came when the symptoms began to disappear and, eventually, the new beginning arrived. This day will come for you too, so keep holding on… keep trusting. This, too, shall pass!"

 

"You have the strength to keep going. Don't let the fear thoughts take over and scare you into thinking you can't do this. You can and you will. Just nurture yourself well, take things one day at at time without becoming preoccupied with how much longer before your full recovery, and if you find that difficult to do and the withdrawal-induced fear persists, just sit with it, accept it without judgement... as part of the experience, be gentle with yourself, and wait this out. Withdrawal can be one of life's most challenging experiences but it eventually comes to an end, you recover and move on. Always remember that you have recovery to look forward to. Easier times are ahead... Keep going!"

 

 And this quote from Lossleader in his Success story : 

"

"And all I have to say to anyone who's currently going through long-term, heavy withdrawal symptoms: just hang on. You don't have to do anything... just hang on. So long as you don't let it beat you, in the end this stuff will just melt away. It really will. There'll be a bit of mental "tidying up" to do afterwards, as though a hurricane has passed through your house. But you'll be so glad you survived, so glad to see the blue skies again, you won't care too much about that. If it ever seems like everything's hopeless... well, it's not. It's really not. Honestly, it's simple as that."

❤️ 

 

 

[wantrelief]

Oh @Erell thank you SO much for your message for the wonderful quotes.....they both really resonate with me and will help me to re-read over and over. You are such a kind and compassionate person.....thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

Much much love,

WR

[wantrelief]

Hello SA friends:  I thought I'd post an update as I restarted my taper and was able to make four small cuts without any significant repercussions, at least so far (knock on wood!).  I have had a bad headache for a few days but that is not unusual for me with tapering. I will hold for my usual 2-3 weeks before considering cutting again. 

 

I am so confused why I have had the same pattern happen over and over. I have tried so many times (since before I started posting on this site) to slowly get off of an AD, first sertraline and now citalopram. While tapering, I would have something stressful come up and despite engaging in proactive coping mechanisms, I would go into full withdrawal mode. After waiting and not seeing any change in the symptoms, I would then inevitably updose to get back to a stable state.

 

In 2017 this again happened, I updosed but to no avail so it was suggested I was in tolerance to citalopram. So in 2018 I commenced this current slow taper.  I was very ill as I tapered until last year when, miraculously, I felt like myself again. I was so happy to have this happen with having decreased instead of increased!  I did have some stressful events (sciatica, a herniated disc - which was pretty excruciating - and my mother almost died) happen soon after I felt better. I handled these stressors fairly well and was not pulled back into withdrawal mode.

 

However, as time progressed I could feel myself falling back into not feeling so well and then another stressful health event occurred. This was the trigger for me falling back into this awful state once again.  I am so confused why this always seems to happen, like I can handle a certain amount of stress but then I am back to square one.  I never experienced anything this extreme prior to going on these drugs and trying to come off of them.  I am wondering if I am just not making enough of my own neurotransmitters yet to sustain the stress that hits over time?  

 

I know there isn't any answer and I can't know until I am off of these drugs.  I just hope I can get to a place where these extreme states don't happen, that it will be more like it was at the beginning of that window I experienced where I can cope with what comes up for me in life in a normal way and not like this.  Otherwise I just don't know how I am going to keep doing this for more years to come plus taper off a large dose of clonazepam.  I know the belief here is that there is no permanent damage but I can't help but wonder if something has irreparably changed with my nervous system and it will never be able to handle what life throws at me.  

 

Thank you for letting me vent/share my worries here.  I thought it would be good to at least get them out instead of having them continuously swirling about in my mind.

 

Much love to all, WR

[Ariel]

Hello @wantrelief

Following along. I appreciate your posts here and also the kind messages you leave for other members in their threads. 

 

Congratulations on restarting your taper. I did not taper properly and am in awe of you slow-taper-ers. RESPECT <3

 

47 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

I am so confused why this always seems to happen, like I can handle a certain amount of stress but then I am back to square one.  I never experienced anything this extreme prior to going on these drugs and trying to come off of them.

 

I hear you.

Could it be that you are answering your own question?

It's my impression that the effect psychiatric drugs have on our brains and nervous systems is fundamentally destabilizing, compromising our natural stress response and regulatory mechanisms. This iatrogenic vulnerability is then grossly exacerbated in withdrawal. 

 

51 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

I know the belief here is that there is no permanent damage but I can't help but wonder if something has irreparably changed with my nervous system and it will never be able to handle what life throws at me.

 

I do hear you. I experience similar worries and anxious thoughts. I believe this is "withdrawal brain" talking, and this line of thinking is driven by neuro-emotions. Since you've recently made four small cuts it might be useful for you to be on the lookout for these kinds of thoughts and emotional states. 

 

I trust that you are healing. Healing is happening all the time, even when we do not consciously feel it. 

In solidarity and support,

A.

 

[wantrelief]

Hello @Ariel:  

2 hours ago, Ariel said:

I appreciate your posts here and also the kind messages you leave for other members in their threads. 

Aw, thank you very much....that is kind of you to say.  I have really appreciated reading your compassionate and thoughtful posts.

 

Speaking of which your response was very helpful (see more below)......thank you so much for taking the time to write your thoughts on my meanderings.

 

2 hours ago, Ariel said:

Could it be that you are answering your own question?

It's my impression that the effect psychiatric drugs have on our brains and nervous systems is fundamentally destabilizing, compromising our natural stress response and regulatory mechanisms. This iatrogenic vulnerability is then grossly exacerbated in withdrawal.

Ha ha - perhaps I was answering my own question but it really helped to read what you wrote, how you worded it makes a lot of sense.

 

2 hours ago, Ariel said:

I do hear you. I experience similar worries and anxious thoughts. I believe this is "withdrawal brain" talking, and this line of thinking is driven by neuro-emotions. Since you've recently made four small cuts it might be useful for you to be on the lookout for these kinds of thoughts and emotional states. 

It helps to know you experience similar worries and anxious thoughts.  It is true this could be that pesky "withdrawal brain" contributing to my line of thinking. It also is based somewhat in reality in that I have experienced feeling "stable" and then not because of stress too many times to count so it is quite distressing and makes me question things.  I suppose I wasn't as "stable" as I thought though and that these drugs were perhaps still having an influence even though I couldn't feel that.  Until I am well off and healed anything goes I guess. 

 

2 hours ago, Ariel said:

I trust that you are healing. Healing is happening all the time, even when we do not consciously feel it. 

Deep down I do believe this too and had such good evidence for that year that I felt so much better.  It has been devastating to be thrown back into this state once again but, alas, here I am.

 

Thank you again so much for taking the time to write me, Ariel, especially as I know you are dealing with your own struggles - I really appreciate it!  🙏

 

With much gratitude,

WR

[Dejavu]

@wantrelief, I've been rooting for you from the sidelines for years. I literally cheered out loud when I read about your first window after 3.5 years of trench warfare with this drug.  And I am just gutted that you're back in the thick of it right now. But I'm also certain that, since you had an enormous break in the clouds before, it was only the first of many, and another is on the way.

 

Have you asked @Shep if maybe this could have something to do with your klonopin dose? If you are someone whose CNS slips quickly into tolerance, perhaps there is a tolerance issue with the benzo that is rearing it's ugly head during stressful periods. Since your AD tapering is going fairly smoothly (until it doesn't), maybe the benzo is your culprit here. I'm certainly no expert, but have you looked at that possibility?

 

You've run a great race so far. The end is in sight. Keep the faith.

[wantrelief]

@Dejavu....It was lovely to receive your message and to know you've been there rooting for me - that is incredibly sweet and I really appreciate your support so very much. I had to laugh at your words "trench warfare" as that is exactly what this feels like.

 

I have thought about the role of the benzo (I can't believe I have that to tackle someday too and it is a source of a lot of stress for me) but I don't think it is the culprit - at least at the moment.  I think my problem - of course this is only a theory - is that I've bounced around up and down on ADs for so long now I have caused a lot CNS instability. There is no way to know for certain but because I did get that window whilst tapering the citalopram I think I am - hopefully! - on the right path.  I do want to taper the clonazepam after I finally get done with citalopram but would like to keep it steady for now as I think it is possibly helping me get the little sleep I am getting at this point.  I do worry hitting tolerance with the benzo too though.  What a mess I am in! 

 

1 hour ago, Dejavu said:

You've run a great race so far. The end is in sight. Keep the faith.

Thank you so so much for saying that, Dejavu.  I am truly exhausted and it is hard to keep going like this day in and day out so it really helps to read these encouraging words.  

 

I will pop by your thread later on.

 

Thank you again for being here and for all of your support. 💖

[Dejavu]

@wantrelief, just keep it in the back of your mind as a possibility. But yes, I believe that long window of yours speaks volumes. I can't help feeling that this is just a little blip for you - a miserable one, to be sure - but just a blip. And for what it's worth, my personal experience of tapering klonopin was that it was a walk in the park compared to AD withdrawal. And I was on a whopping 3mgs of klonopin! It was easier for me because the symptoms were different - more dopamine-ish things: shaky hands; muscle jerks; twitching eyelids; restless legs; which were not pleasant, but not constant, and waaaay better than crippling anxiety; deep depression; SI; and panic attacks. And I tapered per a doctor's schedule - she "allowed" me to go at what she termed "a ridiculously slow" pace. She wanted me off 3mgs in 6 months, but I finally talked her into being flexible. It was a very hard sell, and the threat of her refusing to refill my script was always hanging over my head. Nevertheless, I ended up finishing in 15 months - still too fast. But even so, I walked off with absolutely no withdrawals. None. Of course, your mileage may vary, but I hope it helps you to know that's a possibility. Of course, I didn't know the real beast (zoloft) was lying in wait for me...

 

Oh, gosh, I sooooo understand the exhaustion! Over the past 5 years, through inexcusable medical hubris and my own naivete, I have: CTd, reinstated, and tapered a benzo, CTd zoloft 3x, reinstated, stabilized, tapered too fast, crashed again, and have now been holding for 2 years, sick as ever, and wondering why I could not stabilize again. My symptoms are similar to yours - anxiety, panic, no appetite, along with some physical ones as well. Then my husband started getting very sick also, and no doctor could find a cause. We have both basically become disabled, with no answers. It's been absolutely terrifying. Turns out, we had a toxic mold infestation in our AC ducts! Now, it all makes sense. Like ADWD, the only thing that cures mold exposure is time. Fortunately, my husband is starting to very slowly recover, and I've finally had a couple of very good windows (gone now, but at least now I know I am actually stabilizing, even despite the mold), so I guess I am too. But this is certainly going to set my taper resumption back. I worry about sitting on this dose too long, but there are others on here who have held longer with no repercussions, so I just have to accept that for now. It is what it is. But yeah. Tired. Exhausted. Battle-weary. Walking/Crawling wounded. I do get it. 

 

I'm not a praying person, but I am sending you all the healing energy I have tonight. May your wave drop away again very very soon.

[wantrelief]

1 hour ago, Dejavu said:

But yes, I believe that long window of yours speaks volumes. I can't help feeling that this is just a little blip for you - a miserable one, to be sure - but just a blip.

Gosh I really hope so but I don't know....it feels just as entrenched (and indeed miserable) as the last time, maybe even a bit worse.  But....that miraculous window did teach me that you never know when things can turn around.....there was no indication beforehand that was going to happen to me.  Hopefully this also brings you some hope that this wave you are in can go at anytime.

 

That is good to know you had an easier time tapering Klonopin than the AD.  I worry mine will not be easy given I will have been on it a really long time by the time I get to tapering it. I actually tapered off of it a long time ago but I had only been on it for four months at that time.  I encountered some trouble when I went too fast (per my prescriber's instructions) and that is how I figured out about withdrawal.  Once I got off of it slowly it went okay.  I was on a large dose of sertraline at the time so that might have helped too. 

 

You should be so proud of yourself that you got off of 3 mgs of Klonopin!!  The symptoms you experienced may not be the awful ones we are both dealing with now but they still sound very challenging.  

 

You have been through so much with Zoloft and now the mold issue.  I am really relieved to hear that your husband is starting to very slowly recover and I do think it is a good sign you had a couple of very good windows despite dealing with the mold issue too.  

 

I am certainly not an expert but I don't think there is a problem sitting on your dose for too long.  I am hoping with your holding you will find some relief and it will help your taper down the road.

 

So we are both in the same battle-weary boat.  It helps to talk to someone who gets that and how hard it is to face this everyday.

 

Thank you for being here and for being so supportive and encouraging - it  means the world to me.

 

1 hour ago, Dejavu said:

I am sending you all the healing energy I have tonight. May your wave drop away again very very soon.

Thank you thank you.  I am sending you lots of healing thoughts back.  You are going to get through this.

 

[Dejavu]

28 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

....it feels just as entrenched (and indeed miserable) as the last time, maybe even a bit worse.  

They always do, but they pass just the same. I think the disappointment factor plays a big part in making it seem worse. Not to minimize your suffering in ANY way. I know how disappointed I was when I read your update; and I can certainly appreciate how gutted you must be. But somewhere at your core, you know your brain will right itself again. You and I have both been all over this forum. Have you ever seen a case where someone only had the 1 window and then never had another? I sure haven't. 

[wantrelief]

9 hours ago, Dejavu said:

They always do, but they pass just the same. I think the disappointment factor plays a big part in making it seem worse. Not to minimize your suffering in ANY way. I know how disappointed I was when I read your update; and I can certainly appreciate how gutted you must be. 

I have wondered this too, that the disappointment plays a big part in making it seem worse.  Plus I had kind of forgotten how awful this state of being was.  You are so sweet, feeling my disappointment along with me....it helps me feel less alone in all of this.

 

9 hours ago, Dejavu said:

You and I have both been all over this forum. Have you ever seen a case where someone only had the 1 window and then never had another? I sure haven't. 

Good point!

 

9 hours ago, Dejavu said:

But somewhere at your core, you know your brain will right itself again.

Yes, I suppose I do, even though it feels far away, as I am keeping at this with the hope of recovery.....just as you are doing too.

 

Thank you for everything, Dejavu......I really appreciate your being here.

[Erell]

Hello @wantrelief,

I will follow up on the testimony of Dejavu to let you know that the possibility that the benzo taper goes well and smootly does exist.

 

I had a dose of about 20mg of Prazepam in 2014, when I started my taper (finished in 2017 or 2018, don't remember), and I really wasn't sure I could live without it. I was a "beginner" in withdrawal, and didn't have all the knowledge I've gained here. Fortunately, I had come across Professor Ashton's manual, which allowed me to ignore my doctor at the time and go through my taper much more slowly than he recommended. 
I don't remember much about my method, but I know that I never went over 10% per month.
And it went well

Of course, there were some challenges, doubts too, sometimes restless nights, strange symptoms that I didn't understand, but nothing extreme. Nothing that could match the intensity felt with my AD mess. Nothing that prevented me from continuing my daily life.

 

I know how difficult it is to have positive and confident thoughts during WD, and I completely understand your fears when you think about future klonopin withdrawal.
Just know that, just as there is the possibility of having an overnight window, there is the possibility of having a peaceful and slow benzo taper. It really is possible

 

Thinking of you ❤️ 

 

Edited June 1, 2022 by Erell

[wantrelief]

Dearest @Erell:  Thank you so much for your message and description of your successful benzo taper. It really helps to know that your benzo taper went relatively smoothly and was not how the AD stuff has been.
 

As you can probably tell, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at how I am feeling and how far I’ve got to go. My brain keeps telling me how bleak my future is going to be which is indicative of what you said about it being really hard to have positive or confident thoughts during withdrawal (even though I try over and over to counter the bad thoughts). So your message really helped at a desperate feeling time…..you swooped in to provide some much needed reassurance and support. 💕

 

You are such a special person, Erell. I really hope you are doing as well as can be.

 

I am thinking about you too.

 

With much much gratitude, 🙏 

WR

[Ariel]

@wantrelief

Thank you for your sweet note in my thread!

Thinking of you, sending peaceful vibes for healing <3

A.

[wantrelief]

1 hour ago, Ariel said:

Thinking of you, sending peaceful vibes for healing ❤️

And now it is my turn to thank you for the sweet message and for thinking of me!

[Carmie]

Hi wantrelief, 

 

I’m so very sorry you’ve been struggling so much, it does feel like this journey is never going to end. The way I’m going I’ll still be tapering when I’m 100😂.
 

Every teeny little drop causes so much havoc, and even when I’ve held for a long time my nervous system is still in high alert, it never settles. These meds really have a tight grip on our brains. 
 

All one can do, is to continue to distract oneself. I’m struggling with other health issues too that bring daily suffering, but I’m trying really hard just to distract myself. It’s not always easy. 
 

Also, I’m trying really hard just to take one day at a time, and most of the time, an hour at a time. Again, not always easy as one’s brain tends to race to the future and how much longer we have to do this. 
 

I hope you manage to have some good days, sending hugs🤗

[wantrelief]

Thank you for your sweet message, @Carmie.  i am so sorry you are still struggling too. It sounds like you are doing as well as you can.  We will get there, slowly but surely.  Take good care, Carmie.

[Carmie]

On 6/12/2022 at 12:13 PM, wantrelief said:

Thank you for your sweet message, @Carmie.  i am so sorry you are still struggling too. It sounds like you are doing as well as you can.  We will get there, slowly but surely.  Take good care, Carmie.

Dear wantrelief,  

 

You are such a trouper and your name “want relief” is definitely what we all want. 
 

I really am sorry you are struggling too, it saddens me so much that so many people on here are suffering so much. These meds are the most horrendous things. 
 

It was at least bearable for me until I got an autoimmune disease that affects my lungs as now I’m struggling to breathe every day since the vax, eight months so far. So many things cause an autoimmune flare, but I’ve had no reprieve at all since the vax eight months ago. 
 

The way these meds affect our nervous system makes anything extra that we deal with so very hard. There’s not a day when my nervous system is going nuts in the fight or flight mode from these meds. It feels like one has adhd and has to keep doing stuff to distract oneself. 
 

We need to somehow all hang in there, and yes, wantrelief, we are certainly looking forward to the time we will get relief. 
 

Sending you much love🧡

[wantrelief]

Thank you for your kind words, @Carmie. I think you are the trouper!  I will pop by your thread. 💖

[Ariel]

Hi @wantrelief

How are you feeling?

I see you made another small drop a few days ago. How is this taper going for you?

I am thinking of you and hope that you are experiencing moments of peace amidst it all. 

I was going to write something like, "I hope your brain is being kind to you," but then I thought about how our brains are healing all the time, which seems like a pretty kind thing 24/7, and then I got confused as to what I was actually wishing you... Hahaha! I wish you the good things, of course. And I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you healing without discomfort, wouldn't that be lovely? Or at least a better ratio, dialing up the healing and dialing down the discomfort... Getting lost again. Anyway, my feeble WD-brain sends so much love!

In solidarity and support <3

A.

[wantrelief]

Hi @Ariel: It was great to receive you message - thank you so much for popping by my thread and for all of your good wishes.  So far so good with the last drop I made....hopefully all will continue to be ok with it.  I wish I was feeling better but I am grateful that I've been able to make these small cuts without too much disturbance. 

 

4 hours ago, Ariel said:

"I hope your brain is being kind to you," but then I thought about how our brains are healing all the time, which seems like a pretty kind thing 24/7

Thank you for this.....it is a really good way to look at what is happening as a part of this process. We should thank our brains for being kind to us even though it feels like the opposite is happening!

 

4 hours ago, Ariel said:

I wish you the good things, of course. And I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you healing without discomfort, wouldn't that be lovely? Or at least a better ratio, dialing up the healing and dialing down the discomfort

Ah, yes....that all would be absolutely lovely. I am wishing the very same for you! 

 

4 hours ago, Ariel said:

my feeble WD-brain

On the contrary, what you have written makes total sense and is beautifully put.

 

I am sending you lots of love back,

WR  💖

[Ariel]

@wantrelief

Hello and thanks again for your beautiful support in my thread.

Stopping by to see how you are a week since your last drop. 

No pressure to reply, just know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well <3

[wantrelief]

Hello @Ariel:  Thank you for checking-in, that is very kind of you.  The last drop went well, thankfully, so I will make one more small one tonight and then hold for a bit.

 

I read on your thread that you are having another window day - that is just wonderful and I am so happy for you that you are experiencing these positive changes!

 

I am thinking of you too and hope you have enjoyed your day!

[Ariel]

@wantrelief

Glad to hear the last drop went well. Nicely done.

Good luck with this next cut and the upcoming hold. 

You got this <3

[wantrelief]

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement, @Ariel - it means a lot! 💖

[Ariel]

@wantrelief

Thinking of you <3

[wantrelief]

Thanks so much for your message and kind words, @Ariel.....I am thinking of you too and hoping you are doing as well as can be. 💖

[SkyBlue]

On 5/28/2022 at 1:32 PM, wantrelief said:

I know the belief here is that there is no permanent damage but I can't help but wonder if something has irreparably changed with my nervous system and it will never be able to handle what life throws at me.  

 

Hi wr,

I can understand (and sometimes share) that concern. I'll echo @Ariel's thoughts above, as well as emphasizing that over and over again I have read and heard that everybody can heal from psych drug damage. Everybody. All symptoms eventually heal. It's a fact. 

 

There is a quote on this site from veteran moderator Rhiannon; I have it saved on my old computer, but I can almost quote it from memory because it really spoke to me and I've read it probably 3,000 times. (Paraphrased): "Your future is much brighter than you're able to imagine right now. The thoughts about a bleak future are like lies being whispered into your ear.  Your future isn't broken, your imaginer is (temporarily) broken." 

Proud of you for being so responsible and tapering slowly with 2-3 week holds! I believe your CNS will thank you. ❤️ Hang in there, friend.

[wantrelief]

Dearest @SkyBlue:  Oh wow - thank you so much for your encouraging and supportive message.  Everything you said really helped.  I absolutely LOVE the quote from Rhiannon as my WD brain does indeed like to tell me my future is bleak.  I really like "Your future isn't broken, your imaginer is (temporarily) broken."  

 

You hang in there too, my brave friend. 💖

 

With much gratitude,

WR

[JS11]

Hi WR,

I saw your notification and read the lovely quote posted on your thread. Wise words.

You always give so very much to others and that kindness is repaid isn't it. 

I sure wish I had the answers.

On Thursday, I will have been AD free for a year, however, it is a bittersweet victory as  I bumped up my ADXR by 5mg about a month ago.

But the one thing we all have in common is that stubborn refusal to give up.

Your road has been an arduous one. (I do know that journey.) But I also know the amazing strength and grace you have inside. 

Thinking of you my friend as I often do. 

Much love JS11

 

[Katy398]

11 hours ago, SkyBlue said:

Your future is much brighter than you're able to imagine right now. The thoughts about a bleak future are like lies being whispered into your ear.  Your future isn't broken, your imaginer is (temporarily) broken." 

Thank you @Rhiannonand @SkyBluethis is wonderful I wish I’d seen this in my first year😊Hang on in there @wantreliefhang on in there, you’ve come so far.