casanovasdream: I think I have brain damage from cold turkey withdrawal off Escitalopram, please help

[casanovasdream]

It's like I have a disease. I've been reduced to an invalid. I am mentally retarded and braindead. I can't function, can't think, can't talk, can't write, can't sleep, can't cry, can't laugh, can't sing, can't act, can't make eye contact, can't take any substance without having heart problems including BBQ Doritos, can't go outside in public, can't focus on watching tv and movies, can't do anything... Everything is hard. I'm suffering all day everyday. I used to be a genius. Something happened to me and I'm not the same anymore... I'm not the real me. It is very scary. It feels like my soul and spirit were stolen and my brain was hijacked. I have no vibration... My vibration is toxic... but I can't control it. I've been in the same invalid state for almost a year, since May last year... Without making progress or a recovery. I think I'm just getting worse and worse as time goes on. I'm as depressed as I can be without incriminating myself to the point that forces the doctor to call the cops on me to take me to the hospital for a psychiatric assessment. And I can't emphasize enough the fact that I have a bad heart... Something is wrong with my heart but it didn't show up in numerous thorough blood tests I did in august. I was diagnosed with psychosis in may and august at the hospital psychward. I think this is a misdiagnosis and my actual disease is yet to be determined. Everything I'm going through is physical, it's not just inside my head... I'm not just having mental problems... It's more than that and it's physical. I swear it is physical and I must have a rare disease that isn't easily detectable and diagnosed... That is frequently misdiagnosed with psychosis/schizophrenia. This is why my medication Invega and Valium didn't work for me. Invega just gave me side effects and made me feel so much worse and more depressed. It feels like I'm on my own and there's no way out. I don't feel well at all. I'm always tired but I can't sleep... I can only sleep during the day for a few hours. I'm always feeling a strong sense of dysphoria... It's right out of a nightmare. I'm truly fully suffering. I'm also extremely extremely irritable all the time. A lot of symptoms may resemble psychosis but I swear it's not mental, it's physical. I have to keep stressing that I know the difference between mental and physical and what I'm going through is all physical. Can someone tell me what is wrong with me? How can I cure myself? How can I find out what is wrong with me? Every waking moment is agony... I have no enjoyment in anything. My social phobia and anxiety is through the roof and off the charts. I'm living in hell and can't find a way out. I have impaired cognition. Something in my brain is blocking my cognitive abilities. I have beyond brainfog... My mind is mush. It feels like I have permanent brain damage. Will I ever recover? How long does it take to recover from cold turkey withdrawal from 20mg Escitalopram?

I got off my antidepressant Escitalopram cold turkey in May after being on it (20mg the maximum dose) for 7 years. I haven't been the same since that. It was giving me a heart attack so I didn't even have a chance to wean off it... We called 911 and the paramedics took me to the hospital and I was admitted to the psychward. I thought I had serotonin syndrome but I was diagnosed with psychosis/schizophrenia and given Invega pills. I'm still having heart problems ten months later. I've made no improvement or progress since May last year. I'm losing patience and hope. Do I have permanent brain damage? Will I be like this forever? Will I ever recover?

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a peer owned and run forum of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm deeply sorry that you are going through this awful situation.  I'm really glad you found us.  We here know firsthand how difficult it is to go through withdrawal from psych meds.  I myself went through a very painful WD from Lexapro after a very fast taper and reinstatement, and am still going through WD, but it has slowly improved.  I can tell you that Lexapro is a very powerful drug.  It is at least twice as potent as other antidepressants.  Also, going cold turkey off a drug can set you up for a rough ride.  Are you still taking the Invega?  

 

First of all, can you please give us specific information about your drug history?  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

I believe that as you come in here and find others like yourself, and find some help here, that you will begin to feel better.  I'm not saying the pain will magically all disappear, but it will slowly start to abate.  There is hope for you, there truly is.  There are other people here who cold turkeyed off psych meds and they have recovered.  I don't believe you will be this way forever, but I do believe it will probably take some time for your nervous system to recover.  It will probably take some patience and work and endurance on your part.  Here is a thread of other people here who went through CT and fast taper. 

Cold Turkey and Fast Taper
 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.  Please read this carefully - it will explain why you've been feeling so bad for so long. 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

  

We strongly suggest you look at non-drug ways to calm yourself.  These ideas in the links below can definitely help with withdrawal and life stress in general. 

 

Music Calms Us Down

 

Meditation for Stressed Out Nervous System

 

Neuro Emotions

 

Ways to Cope with Daily Anxiety

 

Health Anxiety, Hypochondria and Obession with Symptoms

 

Fear, Terror, Panic, or Anxiety

 

Irritation, Anger, and Rage

 

Dealing with Emotional Spirals

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 3 that many of us find helpful are magnesium, omega-3, and melatonin. Here are the links for info about those.  Introduce them one at a time, at small doses, to see how your system reacts to them. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

Melatonin

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen.  Hang in there! 

 

[getofflex]

@casanovasdreamafter conferring with the staff, one mod said you could possibly try a very small reinstatement.  Reinstatement is risky, but it may help you.  If you choose to try it, I would strongly suggest you do this very carefully, or you could possibly worsen your situation.  Reinstatement may help, or it may make you feel worse by causing an adverse reaction.  It is a crap shoot, but you could try it.  Let me know what you decide to do.  

 

Here is a success story about a person who CT'ed from Paxil and is now recovered.  This can give you hope.  

Coldturkmama recovered after Paxil Cold Turkey

 

I'm praying for you. 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 18, 2021 by getofflex
changed "could likely" to "could possibly"

[casanovasdream]

How come you're the only one replying? Why does it say my content will need to be approved by a moderator? Why can't I post in other places other than introductions and updates? I don't know how to use this forum. 

[casanovasdream]

Why is my reply hidden?

[getofflex]

This is a moderated forum.  Every new member's first 2 posts must be approved by a moderator.  Once I approve your second post, which I will do shortly, you will have the freedom to post in other places.  Hopefully others will come along and reply to you as well.  

[Crochet]

Hi Casanovasdream,

 

I'm sorry that you are suffering.  I got off lexapro at 5mg CT and have experienced some of the same symptoms - chest tightness/pain, cognitive issues, inability to feel positive emotion, panic.  It all happened at once 2.5 months after stopping and it was shocking. You're not alone.

 

Take care,

Crochet

[Mutfael]

The withdrawal symptoms are unfortunately long, and this is what delusive psychiatry has not told us

[Yesyes123]

@casanovasdream You will recover. I'm recovering from Escitalopram. There are many others who made it too.

[saeed]

On 3/16/2021 at 7:21 AM, casanovasdream said:

It's like I have a disease. I've been reduced to an invalid. I am mentally retarded and braindead. I can't function, can't think, can't talk, can't write, can't sleep, can't cry, can't laugh, can't sing, can't act, can't make eye contact, can't take any substance without having heart problems including BBQ Doritos, can't go outside in public, can't focus on watching tv and movies, can't do anything... Everything is hard. I'm suffering all day everyday. I used to be a genius. Something happened to me and I'm not the same anymore... I'm not the real me. It is very scary. It feels like my soul and spirit were stolen and my brain was hijacked. I have no vibration... My vibration is toxic... but I can't control it. I've been in the same invalid state for almost a year, since May last year... Without making progress or a recovery. I think I'm just getting worse and worse as time goes on. I'm as depressed as I can be without incriminating myself to the point that forces the doctor to call the cops on me to take me to the hospital for a psychiatric assessment. And I can't emphasize enough the fact that I have a bad heart... Something is wrong with my heart but it didn't show up in numerous thorough blood tests I did in august. I was diagnosed with psychosis in may and august at the hospital psychward. I think this is a misdiagnosis and my actual disease is yet to be determined. Everything I'm going through is physical, it's not just inside my head... I'm not just having mental problems... It's more than that and it's physical. I swear it is physical and I must have a rare disease that isn't easily detectable and diagnosed... That is frequently misdiagnosed with psychosis/schizophrenia. This is why my medication Invega and Valium didn't work for me. Invega just gave me side effects and made me feel so much worse and more depressed. It feels like I'm on my own and there's no way out. I don't feel well at all. I'm always tired but I can't sleep... I can only sleep during the day for a few hours. I'm always feeling a strong sense of dysphoria... It's right out of a nightmare. I'm truly fully suffering. I'm also extremely extremely irritable all the time. A lot of symptoms may resemble psychosis but I swear it's not mental, it's physical. I have to keep stressing that I know the difference between mental and physical and what I'm going through is all physical. Can someone tell me what is wrong with me? How can I cure myself? How can I find out what is wrong with me? Every waking moment is agony... I have no enjoyment in anything. My social phobia and anxiety is through the roof and off the charts. I'm living in hell and can't find a way out. I have impaired cognition. Something in my brain is blocking my cognitive abilities. I have beyond brainfog... My mind is mush. It feels like I have permanent brain damage. Will I ever recover? How long does it take to recover from cold turkey withdrawal from 20mg Escitalopram?

I got off my antidepressant Escitalopram cold turkey in May after being on it (20mg the maximum dose) for 7 years. I haven't been the same since that. It was giving me a heart attack so I didn't even have a chance to wean off it... We called 911 and the paramedics took me to the hospital and I was admitted to the psychward. I thought I had serotonin syndrome but I was diagnosed with psychosis/schizophrenia and given Invega pills. I'm still having heart problems ten months later. I've made no improvement or progress since May last year. I'm losing patience and hope. Do I have permanent brain damage? Will I be like this forever? Will I ever recover?

I have been through AD withdrawals and put on invega sustenna shot for 5 months and still suffering from withdrawals.

it’S tough journey, I am sorry that you’re going through this but we have adapt to survive.

moderates have experience to guide you and they’re very helpful.

Invega side effect is way much worse than AD and I couldn’t bare with it then I went CT. 

stay calm and strong and take good care of yourself. 

[Colonial]

On 3/15/2021 at 11:21 PM, casanovasdream said:

, can't take any substance without having heart problems including BBQ Doritos,

 

Any food with MSG and artificial colors or flavors can make you worse.

They are neuro-toxins.

Simple foods taken in modest quantities throughout the day is best.

 

Can you explain a little more succinctly why you were taken off cold turkey?

I am trying to piece together a little better what actual condition outside of withdrawal you may be suffering.

 

thank you

 

[almuPA]

Hello @casanovasdream,

 

I Am so sorry to read what you are going through. 

I also CDed and is hell 11 months later. And yes, certain foods can trigger symptons. 

MY thoughts are with you.